Finding the one person for you feels amazing! If you are not sure, consider these signs in this contributed post that they are the one for you.
We all hope for the feeling of knowing for sure that the person we’re dating is the one. Not all relationships get to this point, but the ones that do can feel amazing. ‘The one’ also means different things to different people. It might mean something different at age 25 than it does at 30. It might not come to you until you reflect on the person you’re with through and through. Of course, thinking someone is the one may not be returned to you, so we’re often hesitant to apply that label until we’re absolutely sure.
Just like any matter of faith, instinct will often lead you to the right answer. There is no shame in falling in love with someone multiple times during your relationship, in fact this shows that life with this person could be truly novel! It may not be long before you’re comparing metal or silicone wedding rings, and walking over the threshold of your home as newlyweds. Until then, consider these signs they are the one for you:
If you can trust your partner, you have one of the vital pillars of a strong relationship already constructed. Without this, nothing else functions. You need to trust your partner to be true to you, to keep you aware, and to help you become your best self. In return, you must do the exact same for them. However, trust is not only found in the ways we imagine. For example, trusting a partner could be knowing they can speak to you authentically, that they will not filter their words around you. This could mean telling you when you’re acting out of line, or when they’re worried about you. Just as you expect a close friend to be candid with you, a lover will find a manner to build you up from your flaws, and to help you see them yourself rather than constantly remind you of them. If you trust in your partner 100%, perhaps more than you do yourself, they might just be ‘the one’ material.
If you can trust them to be responsible with their affairs, and to stand on their own two feet, and to put as much into the relationship as you do, and to keep building a life together with that as their main priority, then it could be that ‘the one’ is within your grasp. We often idealize love with spontanaeity, and for good reason. But sometimes, a little responsibility can help ease us, and know that this is the person we wish to build our life with.
While deep, burning and passionate love can be sustained for long periods of time, it does take work to do. What matters is that this person feels fresh whenever you see them, even after years. If you still get butterflies, if you still wish to impress one anohter with surprises, or if you find yourself trying to be the best you can for the sake of both of you and you’re sure they’re doing the same, you may have just found the one,
With these mature and sensible yet loving tips, you may identify the one sooner rather than later.
Inject some excitement into your relationship with these 7 tips to great date nights. Read this contributed post to find out more.
Being in a committed long-term relationship is one of the greatest things in the world. However, the natural spark of romance will inevitably fade over time, which can make date nights feel a little stale. Fear not; it is possible to inject the excitement back into those dates.
Follow these seven pointers below, and those future dates will be even more breathtaking than when you first dated.
Break Away From The Norm
The reason that many of your dates as a long-term couple feel stale is that everything feels too similar to normal life. Learn to switch things up, and the dates will become fresh and exciting once more.
This needn’t be a difficult challenge. Renting a car from RYDE for the day or weekend can turn a cruise around the city into a luxury experience for both of you. Alternatively, staying at a local hotel can work wonders without taking on the costs or time of taking a holiday abroad.
Even something as simple as having one of you turn up to ‘collect’ your date from home can change the mindset. Embrace it.
Do Something That Makes The Future Look Exciting
When you first start dating, the thoughts of what may await in the future is enough to give you butterflies. You needn’t lose those sentiments just because you’re in a long-term relationship. You just need to look for alternatives.
You needn’t be engaged to know that your relationship is heading towards marriage. It may seem a little odd, but a day of looking at potential wedding venues can be a lot of fun even if the big event isn’t on the horizon for some time.
Aside from the excitement, it shows that you are both still committed to each other for the long haul.
Or Reconnect With The Past
Alternatively, you can do the complete opposite by traveling back to the start of your relationship. Reliving the first date is undoubtedly one of the best ways to recapture that early dating magic. The excitement will return in an instant.
Recreate the photographs you took on that do to see how far you’ve come as a couple. Honestly, that’s one of the most exciting things of all, and should be cherished by both of you.
The harsh reality of life is that you probably have more responsibilities today than you did when you first started dating. You have careers, a home, and potentially children to consider. So, date nights are a commitment that may need to be planned.
Once they start, though, you can let the spontaneity flow. Create a list of date ideas and pick one at random. It might be great; it might be a washout. Either way, it’ll be memorable while giving you a chance to have fun and celebrate your love.
Start A Joint Hobby
Hobbies play an incredibly important role in our lives. While having something to enjoy with friends is great, a regular activity with your partner is a great way to keep the romance alive. Not least if you choose dance classes or something that can actively aid your sexual attraction.
This is better than a one-off date too as it is a continued commitment to each other. You’ll have a date night every week and won’t need to break the bank for it.
Face Your Fears
Facing your fears is a lot easier when you have a supportive partner by your side. So, heading off on special adventures can be a great option for your next date day. If nothing else, it’s a cheat to help get your heartbeats racing.
Theme parks are among the best options, not least because there are so many other things to see and soak in. Disney World tickets can be bought online at a cheaper rate than on the day while it’ll save you lining up. This is the type of date that will last in your memories forever.
Alternatively, real adrenaline junkies can try to organize a tandem parachute jump or bungee. For a few moments of a fear, you’ll gain a lifelong memory.
Go To A Show
Special events like sporting events or music gigs are a great way to embrace the energy of a crowd to inject magic into your life. You’ll also want to look nice without feeling the need to be as formal as you would at a restaurant.
When attending gigs, there are two great options. Either book tickets for an artist you love and that plays songs with sentimental value, or go to the local open mic night. This can be great fun while the sense of not knowing what you’ll hear makes it fresh and exciting too.
Ultimately, if you do something you love with the person you love, date nights will remain fun and exciting.
Fights don't mean the whole marriage has to crumble. This contributed post examines whether there are really any insurmountable hurdles in a marriage.
Every couple fights. Most couples have at least one or two (if not more) fights that go deep and shake your confidence in a relationship. If you’re married, these cracks can be even scarier. But that doesn’t mean you have to let the whole thing crumble. Here, we’re going to look at disagreements, wrongdoings, and fights, and whether there really are any insurmountable hurdles in a marriage.
Differences and similarities
One of the biggest issues that tend to creep up in a marriage over time is when you start to notice that not all of your plans are the same as your partner’s. The practicalities of future life, employment, where you live, children, and the core principles that make you who you are aren’t easy to discover all at once. You have to make an effort to talk about the future with your partner. Talk about specific plans, greatest desires, ambitions, and more at length. Mishaps and small fights can be nothing but pebbles on the road to growing into a better understanding and respect of one another. However, if you don’t share a vision of the future that at least meets in the middle, tension is only likely to increase as time goes on.
Get a sense of perspective
Sometimes you can see the forest for the trees. The same can be said of a marriage. You cannot be impartial, and it is nothing more than ego to believe that you can. One of the biggest benefits of marriage counseling is the chance to involve someone who doesn’t have an emotional investment in the relationship. The impartiality and lower risk of bias can help you and your spouse view things with a little more distance from a new perspective. It can help you divorce yourself from the gut reactions that turn disagreements into fights and wrong-doings into vendettas.
Listen without blame
Social relationships involve a lot of give and take. We are naturally inclined to “keep tally”, whether it’s seeing who has the upper hand, who owes what, or to assert a moral high ground. In marriages, this is extremely dangerous. Even when you have been wronged, if you want to repair the relationship, you have to listen to your partner’s concerns. Even if they sound like excuses, even if it’s for a transgression as deep as cheating, communication is crucial. You have to listen, to share your own thoughts, and repeat. In time, with enough honesty on both sides, the conceits start to fall away, and you can address the fears and insecurities that often lie at the heart of the original transgression.
Though it may be easier than ever to back out of it, your marriage commitment represents more than just a relationship with another human being. It represents your ability to commit, period. Commitment involves sacrifice and hardship, not just agreeing to a long-term status quo. There are some insurmountable hurdles in marriages, that can’t be denied. But you have to try to surmount them before you can make that judgment in good faith.
Are you looking to get back with your ex? Consider these 5 points in this contributed post before you take that first step towards getting your ex back.
Some people will claim that there’s never a good reason to get back with your ex. However, there are many couples out there that gone through explosive breakups and got back together again only to grow stronger because of it. Getting back with an ex isn’t always a good decision – you could end up in the exact same situation if you’re not careful about it. Here are the questions you should ask yourself before returning into a relationship with an ex.
Have you given it time?
Many couples blow their second chance by getting together too quickly after breaking up. Straight after a breakup there are likely to be raw feelings of anger, sadness and even jealousy that could cause you to act irrationally. Giving yourself time apart allows you both to assess what it is you really want. If you still miss each other after several months, there’s clearly still a connection and giving it another go could be a good decision.
Have you/can you fix the reason you both broke up?
Every breakup happens for a reason – sometimes it can be a multitude of reasons. Fixing the problem that caused you to break up could be vital if you want to make another go at it. This could involve making improvements to yourself such as quitting a bad habit or making a gesture that proves you’ve changed – you can look at this guide for more information on how to improve yourself and win back your ex. If you can’t fix the problem because it involves making too big a sacrifice, getting back together might not be such a good idea.
Are you both miserable without one another?
This is something you’re unlikely to truly know without talking to one another. You may find that your ex has a new partner or has been putting their passion into achieving goals that they weren’t able to achieve with you – this could be a sign that they’ve happy without you, or it may just be a distraction. If you can’t talk to them yourself, try talking to their friends and see what information you can gather.
Do you have similar goals?
On the topic of goals, it’s important that you both have a few shared aspirations. If one of you wants to move away or have children and the other doesn’t, going back into the relationship may be unwise as one of you won’t be able to achieve your goal. In some cases, you may be able to make compromises. There may be other instances in which one of you has reconsidered their goals. Whatever the case, you shouldn’t give up your dreams for their sake.
Are you willing to take things slowly?
You can’t expect to pick up your relationship as you left off – things will have changed that will need to be addressed. Taking things slowly might allow you to rediscover the feeling of falling in love with one another again. This means going on dates and not seeing each other every day until you both feel comfortable with one another again.
Would you like to learn how to take your relationship from dating to something more serious? The 5 steps explored in this contributed post may help you with that.
Relationships take work. We all know that. Men and women are so different, that when you’re trying to make a relationship work, you know that you’re going to have to compromise. By now, you should also know that trust, honesty, and communication, are all important too. But when you’ve fallen in love, you’re able to get that right, and you feel as if you’ve found someone that you can make a life with, you may be ready to move forward. If you want marriage, children, and everything that goes along with it, do you know how to get it? Do you know how you’re going to take that leap from dating to something more serious? Here are five steps that will help you to do that.
1. Make Sure You’re On The Same Page
Before you jump in with the idea of moving forward, you’re going to want to make sure that you’re both thinking along the same lines. Because you may be ready to make the next step, but she might not be thinking the same. So don’t just assume. Make sure that you have that conversation. Be sure to be frank and stay how you feel and what your intentions are. When you know that you’re both on the same page, then point two is a great next step for you both.
2. Move In Together
If you’re not already living together, then this is often a good first step. You’d be surprised by how many couples think that they’re perfect for each other. But when they live together, they realize that they go that so wrong! So make sure that you spend some time living together and getting to know each other's habits and quirks before you make a more permanent commitment. Although you should be able to work through any issue, that isn’t always the case when you know you’re not meant to be.
3. Plan The Engagement
When you’re happy that things are going well, and you still feel the same way after months of living together, it’s time to plan your proposal. Take an idea from something like https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/proposal-ideas/ if you need inspiration. Just make sure that your engagement plans are suitable for you as a couple and will be something she loves.
4. Shop For The Diamond
This is something that you can do before the proposal, or after. Find a jeweler or diamond supplier, such as https://diamondexpert.com/blue-nile-review/, that you think will create the perfect ring. She will wear this forever, so this step is always crucial.
5. Start The Wedding Preparations
And finally, now that she’s accepted and you’ve put a ring on it, then you’re going to want to start thinking about planning the wedding. This is something that she might want to take full control of. Because a lot of women have dreamt about their weddings days for a long time. And if you’re impartial to what happens on the day - let her do what she likes. Whether you plan this for a year, less, or more, just make sure that it’s right. There’s no need to rush, because now you’re already moving forward and you know you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.
What Makes Couples Last According To A Professional Montreal Relationship Coach
Facts about love that make sense.
by Irene Terehova
Throw Back Thursday.
An interview between Irene Terehova and Frank Kermit for MTL Blog from 2016
A very common problem I see in modern relationships is the longevity struggle. Relationships and marriages don't last. Break ups and divorces are at an all time rise. Why is this happening? Why are Montrealers losing patience and not willing to work harder? Is giving up on love the right way to go?
So I got in touch with Frank Kermit today, a Montreal based relationship and dating coach, in hopes of finding the truth in this confusing subject matter. Frank gave a beautiful and easy breakdown to my two simple questions.
Why do modern couples break up and divorce so often, Frank?
"The difference between a couple that lasts and a couple that divorces all comes down to their emotional needs. Each individual has a set of emotional needs. Although the emotional needs tend to be similar from person to person, each individual has a unique profile detailing, which emotional needs are more important and which ones are less important. A person with a high degree of the emotional need fear of abandonment will react very differently than a person with a lower degree of that same emotional need.
Couples come together because the emotional needs of both people are addressed when they are involved with each other. Couples break apart (separation and divorce) when the emotional needs of one (or both) of the people are very violated.
The emotional needs of an individual can also change over time. [...] For example, a person who is at a stage of life where their children are grown and they have arranged for financial security that is not dependent on any particular employer may not place too much importance on an emotional need like protection of reputation, as the person may have done at a younger age. So it can happen where a couple [who has been] together for a long time, have changed as individuals and thus their emotional needs have changed, and their relationship as it stands, can no longer address their particular new emotional needs."
What needs to be changed in order to make modern relationships last?
The only thing that really would have to change that would be realistic, is for people to learn the skills needed to manage their abundance of choice.
Today’s singles and couples have unlimited choice as to how they can manage their relationships and sex lives, but as I teach it, the power of choice, without the knowledgeable skills to know what to do with that power, can lead to a misery so great, it can sometimes be worse than living in a system of oppression that meets human beings basic needs.
[...] A person can choose to date, get married, have children, live together, not date at all, be child-free, be a single parent, date multiple people at the same time, have multiple sex partners at the same time, even have polyamourous multi-partner romantic relationship families. The sky is no longer the limit, as the freedom of choices for how people choose to manage their romantic lives has reached beyond the stars.
[...] A person that does not know him or her self, their personal boundaries, or who has never thought critically about what is in their own best long term interest is at a disadvantage, and may end up choosing the wrong partners to get involved with, and worse…could potentially walk away from a great life to choose a new partner and life that lands that person in emotional ruins.
Dating and Relationship Coach
Author of 15 books and 20 audio lectures sets, including:
The Emotional Needs of Women Analysis Workbook
The Emotional Needs of Men Analysis Workbook
Has your relationship lost it's spark? Read some advice in this contributed post which can help you with your relationship.
Relationships are tough. When things aren’t going well, many people feel that it is easier to throw in the towel rather than fight for what they have. If you are currently struggling with your partner, we are going to talk you through a few pieces of advice which could help you in your quest to save your relationship.
Of course, there are no quick fixes, and this advice isn’t here to suggest that you are going to be able to simply paper over the cracks. So, let’s run through a few pieces of advice which will hopefully come in useful to you.
Relight Your Spark
While a lot of people would think that yelling and arguing all the time would be the central cause of relationship breakdown, many of the main problems that exist in relationships come back to boredom and disinterest. When you get caught up in the day-to-day whirlwind of routine, you may forget the fact that a simple conversation with your partner and bring you closer together once again. In long-term relationships, talking often revolves around mundane or uninteresting topics rather than the type of personal closure that helps you really get to know another person.
So, try to set aside some time that you can spend with one another so that you can relight the spark in your relationship. Ask questions that go beyond the routine and try to get to know the person that you are sharing your life with in a more intimate way all over again.
Break Up the Usual Relational Patterns
There are plenty of potentially destructive patterns which can develop in a relationship which you need to be very wary of. For example, if you always enter a disagreement attempting to ‘win’ the argument rather than constructively repair the situation, this is something which you need to overcome in any way that you can. Often, these fights have predictable triggers, so you should try to stop a disagreement by discussing it calmly rather than letting it escalate into a full-blown fight. Try to substitute out any inflammatory words so that it doesn’t seem like you are launching a personal attack on your partner. Finally, you need to get a handle on your negative emotions so that you can regain your own sense of self-control.
Rediscover Your Sense of Touch
Simply touching your partner - particularly in times of high stress - is a direct way of showing compassion and feeling towards them. As well as this, it also helps to increase your sense of connection and closeness. The most destructive forms of interaction in a relationship include both defensive and offensive behaviours, but touch has been shown to help you re-establish the connection that you had temporarily lost. And the touch in question can be something as simple as a hand on the forearm.
Acknowledge Your Differences
There is no doubt that this is one of the most challenging parts of being in a relationship. Learning to acknowledge your differences without blaming each other in an argumentative way will stand you in good stead throughout the duration of your relationship. Talk about your differences in a calm way and don’t always try to force the other person to come round to your point of view. Discuss the ways that you react and respond differently when you are put in certain situations. However, you need to avoid doing this in a critical manner. Essentially, the better you know your partner, the more you will be able to understand their behaviour and their individual outlook on life.
Increase Your Commitment
Increasing the commitment that you have towards your partner can come in numerous different ways. Of course, you could stage a ceremony or renew the vows that you have already taken - even getting some wedding rings to symbolise this. There are also certain behaviours which diminish your sense of commitment in a relationship which you could look to cut out. For example, constant criticism has been found to diminish commitment in a relationship. Conversely, demonstrating some forgiveness will help to stop you chipping away at the sense of satisfaction that you helped to build in your relationship in the first place. Rather than personalising about things that go wrong in life and blaming your partner for all of them, you are much better off generalising about them.
Show Some Gratitude
Something as seemingly simple as expressing gratitude towards your partner can really help to increase your sense of closeness once again. Obviously, a partner who feels like they are appreciated is much more likely to be loving and supportive in the future. However, if either one of you feels like you are constantly doing things for the other person but getting nothing back in return, this can be potentially toxic in a relationship.
As we mentioned at the start, repairing a relationship and solidifying your commitment to one another is never going to be straightforward, but these are just a few of the tips which you can follow to help. Start by relighting the spark which attracted you to one another in the first place. Try out some different activities together and try to have some deeper conversations which go beyond the mundane and ordinary. If you have identified some toxic patterns which occur in your relationship, now is the time to replace them with more positive responses. It may have been a long time since you have actually touched one another, so try to do so in a way that is both loving and caring. Try to acknowledge the differences that you both have rather than constantly trying to ‘fix’ the other person or bring them round to your point of view. Increase the sense of commitment that you have towards one another, and you could even mark this with a ceremony. Finally, express your gratitude towards the other person and try to do something nice for them yourself.
Is dating too expensive for you? Here are some money saving tips to help you reduce the cost of your dates in this contributed post.
If you are currently single, you are probably already a registered member of some dating apps and websites. Love swiping your way through Tinder and Bumble? If your thumbs have been busy on these apps, you will have already been on a few fun dates. I’m sure there’s one thing you will have noticed - dating can be very expensive!
If you are still searching for the one, and trying to keep up with seeing your friends alongside this, you will probably have a social life that is draining your finances. That’s not good for the long-term. But that’s also no reason to stop dating, especially if you are enjoying it.
Here are some great tips that can help you reduce the cost of all those dates!
Be Open And Honest
It’s really important that you are up front with your date about the fact that you need to be careful with your finances. That way, they will know not to suggest any potentially dear dates. If you get on really well, you might even want to set yourselves some monetary goals. For instance why not try and save together so that you can enjoy a really fun day out in a few months’ time?
Limit Restaurant Dates
Eating out a couple of times each week will be a big drain on your bank account. So, you should try and limit these. Instead of visiting so many restaurants, you could instead offer to show off your culinary skills and cook for them at home. This will be extremely romantic and a great idea for a cozy night in.
Boost Your Pocket Money
If you are struggling for money in other aspects of your life, you might want to find the best bank to get a personal loan so that you can improve your overall financial situation. Some of this extra pocket money can go towards your dating. There are other ways you can boost your finances too. You might want to sort out through your stuff and sell what you can for instance. Or, how about getting a few extra shifts as an Uber or Deliveroo driver?
Look For Happy Hours
There are ways to enjoy a night out on the cheap, of course. You just need to look for happy hours! Lots of bars and restaurants offer happy hour deals in which they serve drinks a lot cheaper than usual. These special deals are very popular with cocktail bars, so it’s a good way to enjoy a delicious tipple on a tight budget!
Use Coupon Sites
It’s also worth signing up for coupon websites, such as Groupon. These offer daily deals that are taking place in your local area. More often than not, they are deals for bars and restaurants, but you will also find some discounts on activities and day outs too.
Dating doesn’t have to be expensive if you follow these tips, so you can continue your search for your perfect partner!
What are you waiting for? Time to continue swiping!
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Happy Valentine's Day!
FrankTalks.com asked the question:
In your relationship,
which movie characters are you?
Please tell us
who you are and why
in the comments below.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes