|
Oliver Clearwater was out of shape, still a virgin and hit rock bottom when his ex left him. He made a decision to get his ex back, lose his virginity and change his life to become irresistible to women. He did it. This is his story.  From Virgin To Married Man The 5 Year Story of Oliver Clearwater: |
 Incel No More | (This is detailed in my autobiography From Loser To Seducer). So I started on my journey to learn how to attract a woman. I took an experimental approach to learning. I learned what did and did not work, embarrassed myself a number of times along the way, and was frequently taken advantage of by men who claimed to be mentors, and women who used me, BUT I KEPT GOING. |
There is an ANSWER; and I AM going to give it to you.
The incel that inspired me to write this article was quoted as saying he was concerned about being slapped in the face for trying to meet women and unintentionally saying the wrong thing.
Perhaps you also are afraid of being slapped for approaching a woman and asking her out on a date. Are you saying that you have tried being social, and have gotten slapped? Or, do you want to try being social but are so worried about getting slapped, that you hold yourself back?
If you are not taking any actions
that got you slapped,
you might be letting your fear of rejection
unnecessarily influence you.
When it comes to rejection, what we can imagine happening, is often worse that what will actually happen.
If you are holding yourself back from being social with women because you fear rejection, (i.e. getting slapped) or you fear hurting women, that is normal. No one likes to risk rejection.
Rejection never feels good.
If you are holding yourself back from being social with women because you fear rejection, (i.e. getting slapped) or you fear hurting women, that is normal. No one likes to risk rejection.
Rejection never feels good.
If you want an active sex life,
you are going to have to
risk some rejection.
| Radio Interview about INCELS | |
If part of what is holding you back, is that you do not want to annoy, bother or offend women, that is a good trait to have. That is good news because it means that you are already mindful of not wanting to hurt women, and at least you can trust your intent.
You need to learn some basic skills:
- How to connect with women.
- How to make an impact with women on an emotional level.
- How to attract the kinds of relationships you want with women. (This can be a range from casual sex, managing non-exclusive dating partners, or something more serious and committed).
If women have slapped you in your attempts to approach and connect with them, perhaps it is not something you actually said, but something in the way you came across non-verbally, that would merit a slap.
It should be noted that I do not condone violence, and I don’t think that violence in the form of a slap is acceptable.
However, when feeling threatened, many people resort to violence as a means of self-protection.
If you were my client, we would work together to do an analysis of your overall approach and behaviors.
There are times when a professional outside view is required in order to examine what you are doing, and how you come across to others.
It is a way to bring to your attention things about your non-verbal, and sub-communication that you may not even be aware of.
If women slap you, you need to see what it is you are doing, (or not doing) that is making women feel unsafe with you.
You need to become aware of the things you are doing
that trigger a woman to be afraid of you.
When you stop the behaviors that trigger
unsafe feelings in women,
and instead, learn to address her Emotional Needs,
you will be in a better position to connect.
that trigger a woman to be afraid of you.
When you stop the behaviors that trigger
unsafe feelings in women,
and instead, learn to address her Emotional Needs,
you will be in a better position to connect.
Some men I have coached have had no problems getting first dates. They are often blessed with great genes (very good looking), and they are physically fit, and yet they have lots of first (and only) dates but very few second dates, and no steady girlfriends to ever speak of.
WHY?
An example:
I had a client who was a 44-year-old virgin by the time he reached out to me, and as you can imagine he was at his wits end! One of his frustrations was that he had no idea why it was so easy for him to initially attract women, but then they would find excuses to end the dates early, or avoid his calls all together when he tried to set up a second date.
We worked together to analyze his behavior and communication skills.
I often will have clients go through a “mock” date with me, so I can study their communication skills.
What was revealed with this client was that he was acting in a way that scared women.
Here are 5 examples of how he scared women:
- He was very nervous having conversations with women he found attractive. Without realizing it, when felt nervous his eyes became intense with his eyebrows forming a deep scowl on his face.
- He would forget to smile, (smiling would have indicated he was having a good time). Not smiling made him seem uninterested in the date.
- The combination of the scowling brow and lack of smile made him look angry.
- When he attempted to make small talk, the majority of the topics coming out of his mouth were complaints about his own life, and his overall negative attitude about dating in general.
- He asked his dates questions to get to know them, but because of his nervousness, he sounded like he was interrogating them instead of taking a genuine interest in learning about her likes and dislikes.
| In addition to these 5 points, there were some other aspects going on in his conversation and behavior skills that violated the Emotional Needs of the women he was with. To learn more about the Emotional Needs of women you can go to my ENA Mastery System at: https://www.franktalks.com/ena-mastery-system.html |  Every Question Answered When You Study Emotional Needs |
Did this man get help and change his life for the better?
YES.
He had to work at it but in 90 Days he lost his virginity!
He went on to have a regular friends-with-benefits following the rules of casual sex relationships
Check out this link to learn the rules of Friends-With-Benefits
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/the-rules-of-friends-with-benefits
| Or you can watch this video on The Rules For Friends With Benefits | |
The greatest success story of a man losing his virginity was this one guy that, as an adult, did not want to reach his next birthday and still be a virgin.
So he decided to give up his 2 week vacation from work, and instead of going on a trip to somewhere warmer, he stayed home, and studied my materials for adult male virgins, 10 hours a day for the entire 2 week vacation.
He filled out the work books, tweaked and re-tweaked his online dating profiles, wrote out his personal stories, practice them in front of the mirror as well as whatever women he would correspond with online, and as he learned more, he went back and re-checked his communications.
On the 14th day, the last Sunday before returning to his full time job on Monday, he met up with a girl that afternoon that he met online, spent the day with her addressing emotional needs, and that night, he lost his virginity to her and she became his girlfriend.
Yes, he was lucky enough to meet her at the right time, but he also created his own luck by working hard and being prepared for those moments in your life, when the world puts opportunity in front of you.
Every now and then, the world WILL give you such opportunities. It is up to you to be ready for them; ready to recognize them and ready to make the most of them.
| Watch This Youtube Video where a number of Frank's incel (adult male virgin) coaching clients tell their stories. All of whom lost their virginity. | |
Now then, for anyone reading this who thinks I am down playing how dangerous incels can be, I assure you, I know all too well. I have helped a lot of men what were adult male virgins, some of whom identified as incels on the verge of giving up all hope and doing something dangerous just to have some measure of self-reflective significance. I have also been the target of incels that have threatened to do me harm.
When certain individuals are entrenched in their world view, no matter how miserable they may feel, it can be too scary to step away from that world view, as the world view has become intertwined with their sense of self-identity.
At that point, they would reject any measure of healing because the healing would interfere with their sense of security; a security based on their sense of knowing how the world works and knowing their place in it (which as horrible and lonely a place it actually is, feels more comfortable, than having to change their world view, and thus challenging their established self-identity as victims.
Victim-hood,
like any system of oppression,
can be like a big security blanket
as the devil you know and hate,
can still be comfortably wrapped around you,
protecting you
from the UNKNOWN.
This UNKNOWN could be heavenly salvation,
or just worse level of hell.
Those that seek a path out of hell,
must venture through the UNKNOWN,
whether or not
they are ready to make that journey.
like any system of oppression,
can be like a big security blanket
as the devil you know and hate,
can still be comfortably wrapped around you,
protecting you
from the UNKNOWN.
This UNKNOWN could be heavenly salvation,
or just worse level of hell.
Those that seek a path out of hell,
must venture through the UNKNOWN,
whether or not
they are ready to make that journey.
To the incels that just want regular casual sex,
here is where you start:
Question: How do we make connections for casual sex?
START HERE.
Consider the following questions:
- Do you know what it takes to manage a casual sex relationship?
- Have you done any research about what the best rules are to manage a friends-with-benefit? (See above)
- Do you know if you want a series of one night stands with strangers, or if you would rather have an on-going series of causal encounters with the same person?
Focus on what you have to offer before focusing on what you want to get.
Examples:
- Do you have the logistics for regular casual sex?
- That is do you have your own apartment or home where the two of you can be alone? Do you live with roommates or at your mother's house with no privacy?
- If you have your own place and live alone, is it clean and seductively enticing such that women would want to be there and would enjoy spending time there?
| Watch this short tutorial video with different ideas about how you can create a seductive space that will make women want to come and visit with you | |
There is more to having a full sex life
than just learning how to approach women.
It is a lifestyle that requires effort.
Have you invested in the work that this lifestyle requires prior to you finding a sex partner?
For example, you will need extra toothbrushes, clean towels, and other toiletries for overnight guest lovers. Did you think of that, and stock up?
Does your place have candles and other items to enhance a romantic atmosphere?
Investing the work into making your home presentable and seductive will help you feel more confident about what you offer, and help you in your initial conversations and approaches.
Put the time in to prepare yourself for future sex encounters.
Study sex-education materials to make you a better lover.
Do you know the anatomy of a woman's body and how to stimulate her sexually?
Do you know how to communicate with your future sexual partner to find out what she does and does not enjoy during foreplay?
Have you learned how to give a relaxing massage for foreplay?
Once you have completed the above tasks,
you are now ready to start seeking out sexual partners.
Question: Where do you meet women for Casual Sex?
It is easier to find people who are already like minded, rather than trying to convert people to your way of thinking.
If you only want a series of casual encounters, you need to reach out to place where people who seek casual encounters go.
Consider looking at the places or websites they would frequent.
For Example:
For Example:
- An old mentor of mine once suggested hotel bars near airports, or where conventions are held as a great spot to meet people seeking one night stands. There are people who are staying at such hotels for just a few nights and are looking for short-term companionship during the evenings. They will often hang out in the hotel bar looking to connect with someone immediately, instead of being upstairs in their hotel room alone.
- Dating sites and apps that are geared towards an interest in casual encounters is another good place to start.
- Lifestyle clubs that cater to, or are open to non-monogamists (for example: Fetish events and Swingers clubs) might be places to consider visiting. Some Swinger clubs have regular information nights where you are permitted to come in and learn about what goes on, and how to conduct yourself if you want to be accepted by the membership.
- Research through social media and see if you can find open-minded online groups of people that are sex-positive and encourage meeting in person. You will find many of them, and most will require you to be ushered in by someone already in the group that can vouch for you. These same groups also tend to have in-person meet-ups semi-regularly to meet new people wanting to be part of their communities. That is where you can start to meet them, let them get to know you and be invited in.
- See who you can meet locally to test your conversational skills. Keep in mind the more conservative the area you live in, the more close knit the communities will be, and it’s likely that the different women you reach out to will already know each other
- If you still struggle to find such groups and communities, consider starting your own, once you complete the above research.
In every single case you will be expected to follow the rules of the event or space in terms of how you interact with the existing membership.
Follow the rules (provided they match with your own personal moral code). If they are counter to your own moral code, then it is best to find another group, or start one of your own.
If you want to be part of any particular community, take the time to research what that community has and see if you actually want to take part.
Sometimes, you can know simply by doing the research required.
Sometimes, you need to have conversations with people that are active participants to see if it is for you.
Sometimes, you just need to go and see it for yourself.
Do you know yourself?
Do you trust yourself to be open to learning the different ways a person can experience a casual sex lifestyle?
You need to know what you want.
Right now, you may be too touch-starved to really know what you want. On the surface you may think you only want nameless sex.
While coaching, many men I have coached have struggled with getting sex, never mind getting a girlfriend.
During the process of working with them, they often get to the point where they finally have the opportunity to have exactly what they want, and then they self-sabotage.
For example:
While coaching, many men I have coached have struggled with getting sex, never mind getting a girlfriend.
During the process of working with them, they often get to the point where they finally have the opportunity to have exactly what they want, and then they self-sabotage.
For example:
I had a client who insisted that he only wanted anonymous one-night stands. One evening, (Feeling confident after his coaching with me), he met a very pretty woman interested in having a one-night stand with him. He was finally presented with the opportunity he had desired.
He quickly made up an excuse that he was not attracted to her (a lie), and left before anything happened!
WHY?
He discovered that although he did want sex, he hated the fact that he did not know her at all, so he lied to her because he didn’t want to admit that after everything he professed about just wanting sex, in the end, what he wanted more than sex was actually a girlfriend that would tell him she loved him when he lost his virginity with her.
Do not be that guy.
Do not be the guy that lies to himself, and then lies to women (telling her that he is not attracted to her when he was) to get himself out of situations he was not ready to handle emotionally.
Take the time to really figure out what you want out of an active love life.
There are a lot of choices available to you. From a series of one-night stands, friends-with-benefits, casual girlfriends, serious girlfriends, and different relationship structures: from the strictest monogamous rules, to the most open and rule-free non-monogamous (and a number of levels of commitments in between).
The power of all this choice, without the skills to know what to do with it, can lead you back to the same kind of misery that is pushing you to seek out the sex to begin with.
To figure out what kind of sex and sexual life you want, you start with learning about yourself, and I am going to help you do that, so that you do not waste your time by being taken advantage of would-be mentors like I was.
Why I do Not Advocate Street Approaches
Approaching women whom you find attractive who are walking on the street is unlikely to yield you any satisfactory results.
They are strangers to you and you don’t know anything about them. While it is true that daytime (day game) approaches tend to be better received than approaching women at night who are out about town, if the person has activities scheduled during the day (e.g. working a day job or going to school) a daytime approach to a stranger is unlikely to yield immediate results.
In addition, if you are looking for something specific like a series of casual encounters, you will have to play a numbers game until you find a woman that wants what you want, is just as attracted to you as you are to her, and who is sexually available.
Even some of the most successful day game artists out there, only get a 3% success rate. That means they have to engage 100 women to get 3 of them to agree to meet again, and then there is still no guarantee of sex.
It is not calibrated to make a direct street approach to strangers in public to state that you are looking for sexual encounters.
That type of behavior is creepy.
There is nothing wrong with you as a human being having a desire for sex, but because there are already designated spaces for you to meet like-minded people, this sort of direct approach will most likely not be received well.
If you were to take an indirect approach instead, such as talking about the weather (and other non-sexual topics) and you also attempt to get a woman’s contact information, you still have to gauge their interest in the kind of casual, sexual relationship you seek. As she may not be interested at all, it is not the most efficient means of meeting women.
To sum it up my opinion, conducting mass amounts of street approaches to strangers is not the most efficient means of meeting partners for casual sex. And if you are socially awkward, you might end up making your situation worse, if you say and or something really inappropriate (and depending where you live and what the laws are, even illegal).
There are too many other ways to meet new people, that you do not have to resort to mass street approaches, at least until you can trust yourself to behave in a manner that will not make your situation worse.
Just to be clear, I do not advocate street approaches to ANYONE just starting out. Street approaches are the LAST thing to attempt for anyone on this journey (incel or not).
There is nothing wrong with them, it is just not the most efficient means of meeting new sexual partners (because just being able to approach is not enough).
There is still having to be able to attract someone, screening if they are someone you would be into, and being able to keep their interest after you are not speaking with them.
Question: What NOT to Say?
You have a right to feel hurt, angry, frustrated, and deprived.
However, if you let your negative emotions control your communication and behavior this much, you are communicating in a way that will turn off the very people that would want to either help you, or have sex with you.
The most unattractive thing a nice guy can do is to complain about everything he is not getting because he is a nice guy.
Focus your communication on what you have to offer, and what’s in it for her, instead of how horrible people are for not seeing what you have to offer to begin with.
 Fear Leads To The Dark Side | I want you to know I hear you. It is my hope that you reached out and read this because you want to try to find a solution, instead of allowing your frustration to turn into resentment, and then having resentment turn to hate, and having hate turn into despair because of the deep rooted fear that nothing will ever change and will continue to be like this forever. I am not trying to sound like a Jedi Master here, but negative emotions left unchecked will grow and fester into something monstrous. |
There is an ANSWER; and I AM going to give it to you.
I am hoping you will reach out because deep down inside, there is a part of you that does NOT want to become that misogynist monster.
Somewhere under the deprived frustration of your situation is still a good man that just wants answers and to feel confident with women.
In honor of that, I want to offer you, and all men like you something.
Here is a FREE eBook to help you get started on your journey to help you learn about yourself, and learn how to get ready to set up the love life you have been wanting for so long, but were too much of a social misfit to build.
This eBook covers how to set boundaries for yourself so that women cannot abuse nor take advantage of you.
This eBook will teach you how to learn about your own base life philosophies and explains to you how they are important to making sure you never feel this hurt and alone ever again.
This eBook will give you the tools so that you can judge for yourself, without anyone else having to tell you, how to conduct yourself in public so that you can get the things you want from life.
It is my nearly 600 pages, coaching eBook workbook for men.
It is for men just like you.
"I'm a Man, That's My Job"
Go to this link to sign up and get the eBook:
https://www.franktalks.com/free.html
Here is a review from a former incel that I helped.
A Review of How the Frank's system prevented a mass shooting:
During some of my worst years in high school, I planned out scenarios to go down in history in a blaze of gunfire somewhere like my school, taking as many women with me as I could who rejected me. Even during college I questioned doing the same.
If I had not discovered
(Frank Kermit's Emotional Needs Analysis material),
I may have done just that
and shot a group of women I did not know.
Before I started studying with Frank
(direct coaching for having confidence
and reading the emotional needs material),
I remember just feeling a lot of low self worth at that time, and even after having had sex a few times it was still something that floated around. I had a lot more anger towards women back then, and I think a lot of it was just my own self-hatred really coming out and being misdirected at hating women.
I feel like the Emotional Needs Analysis coaching system helped me realize what was actually going through the heads of women, and understood why they were rejecting me. I couldn't be so resentful towards women anymore when I could understand their perspective, and how they were looking at the world.
When I would be rejected before I would often
feel like women as a whole were at fault.
After the Emotional Needs Analysis I understood
that I was the one who was turning them off.
I traded in my anger so I could
date multiple women at the same time,
and have experienced a lifestyle that back
then I could only dream of.
Today I am in an open relationship
with a hot goth girl who is perfect for me.
She adores me and she likes to have sex with women
as much as I do.
I never thought this would be my real life now.
Thank You Frank! I bet you saved a lot more lives that you think.
-Review from "Clyde", former MGTOW INCEL
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I wish you peace, healing and amazing sex.
-Frank Kermit
HOW TO START DATING
 FRANK KERMIT GIVES FRANK ADVICE | Dear Readers, Sometimes I answer questions on various sites online as I find them. I occasionally post the question (edited) as myFrank Advice answer here on my blog. Names have been changed to protect privacy. (As much privacy as one can expect posting a question online using their real names). |
The Question:
"How do I date?"
-Without a Partner
Frank Advice Answer:
Dear Without a Partner,
It really depends what you are looking for. Your approach will be different if you are looking for something more casual (friends-with-benefits dating) or something more serious (long term commitment). Once you have an idea of what you are looking for commitment wise, you are ready for the next step.
The next step is to create a profile of the kind of person that would want, and who would be a good candidate for you. Once you can identify some of the criteria you are looking for, it becomes easier to identify where you would meet such a person.
For example: (and let’s use a particular one), let’s say you seek a sexually adventurous partner who is open minded and willing to explore new sensations with you. Well now that you have that profile, the question becomes: Where does someone who fits that profile spend their time?
Perhaps a popular sexually themed event or show? You can explore if there are communities that put on such events locally, or seek out online communities that cater to your particular interests to meet like minded people.
Arrange times to meet people from the community or communities that you have found. Take the time to talk to each person you meet privately. A local public coffee shop is an ideal location as it is public enough to be safe and private enough to share stories. The key here is to put your best self forward.
Do not lie about anything! Demonstrate that you are looking for a partner and focus on what you have to give to another person.
Do not make it about what the other person must give to you.
If you are dedicated and follow through on this work (and yes dating is work) and you should have at least one, if not more dating partners within 90 days.
After you are in a relationship/s, your focus should be on relationship management. Do not take your partners for granted but do not allow yourself to be used either.
This information is just the start of learning to date and having a relationship/s. Coaching helps in many ways, including having an accountability partner, who can help keep you on the right track.
Sign up for COACHING and we can get started.
-Frank Because I have to be
Dear Without a Partner,
It really depends what you are looking for. Your approach will be different if you are looking for something more casual (friends-with-benefits dating) or something more serious (long term commitment). Once you have an idea of what you are looking for commitment wise, you are ready for the next step.
The next step is to create a profile of the kind of person that would want, and who would be a good candidate for you. Once you can identify some of the criteria you are looking for, it becomes easier to identify where you would meet such a person.
For example: (and let’s use a particular one), let’s say you seek a sexually adventurous partner who is open minded and willing to explore new sensations with you. Well now that you have that profile, the question becomes: Where does someone who fits that profile spend their time?
Perhaps a popular sexually themed event or show? You can explore if there are communities that put on such events locally, or seek out online communities that cater to your particular interests to meet like minded people.
Arrange times to meet people from the community or communities that you have found. Take the time to talk to each person you meet privately. A local public coffee shop is an ideal location as it is public enough to be safe and private enough to share stories. The key here is to put your best self forward.
Do not lie about anything! Demonstrate that you are looking for a partner and focus on what you have to give to another person.
Do not make it about what the other person must give to you.
If you are dedicated and follow through on this work (and yes dating is work) and you should have at least one, if not more dating partners within 90 days.
After you are in a relationship/s, your focus should be on relationship management. Do not take your partners for granted but do not allow yourself to be used either.
This information is just the start of learning to date and having a relationship/s. Coaching helps in many ways, including having an accountability partner, who can help keep you on the right track.
Sign up for COACHING and we can get started.
-Frank Because I have to be
RELATIONSHIP AND DATING COACHING WITH FRANK KERMIT
Adult Male Virgin Advice: If She Likes You, DATE HER!
(originally an article from the Frank Talks Adult Male Virgin Newsletter)
Start Dating Someone That Already Wants You
by Frank Kermit
Once you and I starting coaching, you may be starting to remember some of those girls who were into you and wanted to date you, but who you never gave a fair chance.
These women liked you enough, and you knew it.
But you would not be open-minded enough.
THIS is one of the reasons you are still a virgin.
So here is your tip of the week:
EVERY GIRL GETS ONE DATE WITH YOU.
If she is into you, you go out on a date or two and
GIVE HER A CHANCE.
This will accomplish 3 things.
| 1. First, you get EXPERIENCE and PRACTICE in dating. That is something you absolutely need as a living Adult Male Virgin who wants to lose his virginity. |  The Adult Male Virgin Bible |
 Easy Steps To Great Sex | 2. Second, you might find out you like her enough to keep seeing her. And if that happens, you just might lose your virginity to someone you like and that likes you back! |
| 3. Third, you likely KNOW what it is like for someone NOT to give you a chance in the past. (Part of the reason you are still a virgin). Well, the best way to help change the world is to be the example that you want the world to follow. |  Fast Track To Charisma |
If YOU aren't willing to give a girl a chance, then on some level, you will only focus on women just like you, who would NOT be open enough to give you a chance.
However, if you give every girl that likes you a chance, you will start to focus on girls that WOULD give you your chance.
-Frank Kermit
Lose Your Virginity With Coaching
Dating Mating and Relating Podcast
Frank Kermit makes is 1st appearance
(May 2nd 2017) on the Karly Stein show
Dating, Mating and Relating
to talk about Adult Male Virgins,
how he got into coaching,
and what mistakes virgins make when trying to attract someone.
www.KarlyStien.com
 For Male Virgins To Get Girls | THIS IS THE BOOK TO HELP THE ADULT MALE VIRGIN FIND A GIRLFRIEND IN 3 MONTHS AND LOSE HIS VIRGINITY |
| Anyone Can Learn How To Have Charisma, and Become The Most Charismatic Person Known. Even An Adult Male Virgin Can! |  Learn Charisma |
 No More "Just Friends" With Girls | This Book Explains Why Women Will Choose A Bad Boy Jerk Over a Nice Guy and What A Good Guy Can Do About It. |
| This is the Coaching Workbook For Women That Was Discussed During The Show! |  Coaching Workbook For Women |
 Part of the Adult Male Virgin Systems | This Book Is Written For Men, Who Just Lost Their Virginity, but are Still Inexperienced With Sex, and Want To Satisfy His New Girlfriend |
Sign Up For the Adult Male Virgin Program and get a girlfriend in 3 months!
The Dating, Mating and Relating Show
Check Out The Adult Male Virgin System
The Plight of Adult Aged Virgins: Rejected For Being a Virgin
By Frank Kermit
Single adults in there 20s, 30s, 40s and even 50s have a variety of challenges they face when navigating the rough waters of dating.
However, a particular sub-set of these individuals have an extra challenge, that can continue to keep them single, if they do not know how to circumvent the expectations placed upon them by their dating circles.
By Frank Kermit
Single adults in there 20s, 30s, 40s and even 50s have a variety of challenges they face when navigating the rough waters of dating.
However, a particular sub-set of these individuals have an extra challenge, that can continue to keep them single, if they do not know how to circumvent the expectations placed upon them by their dating circles.
| They are the adult aged virgins. Men and women who, for whatever reason, have never experienced sexual relations with another human being when younger and continue to do so as they matured. We are not discussing adults who grew up in certain cultural or religious environments that valued virginity until marriage and ended up never being married. Those individuals tend to be proud of their virginities and hold themselves in high regard, attached to that aspect of their identities. We are talking about adults who would have wanted, or been open too, sexual experiences through dating and relationships, but who never managed to end up having sex. |  Check Out The Adult Virgin System |
Part of the struggle is how adult aged virgins are regarded. Virginity for adults in their late 20s and older, are not always seen as a prize.
| | In my Coaching Practice I have noted many virgins recounted how someone was interested in dating them UNTIL the virgins revealed their status as adult aged virgins. |
At which point, many would-be lovers flee before the next dating encounter.
For those that reject dating adult aged virgins, reasons may include:
- not wanting to deal with the pressure of being someone’s first,
- not wanting the virgin to regret losing their virginity (facing resentment), and
- not having to wait for the virgin to feel ready for sex.
Potential partners who have previously been sexually active tend not to revel in the notion of waiting what could be weeks, or even months, for the virgin they are dating to feel ready and comfortable for first time sex.
It makes no difference if the potential partner is simply seeking a casual dating partner and sex for fun, or those looking for a more serious commitment. Neither of them wants to wait longer than they are used too in order to explore sexual compatibility and enjoyment.
In fact, even some match making companies will refuse to take on virgins as clients because of how difficult they may be to find a match for.
| | At one time there was a double standard, where an adult male who was a virgin was seen as being “less than a man”, but that an adult aged female was considered of value and virtue. That no longer seems to be the case, as today many “good girls” simply struggle to find a boyfriend anymore, as few men want to deal with the perceived challenges that accompany dating someone who has yet to experience their first time. |
As far as my personal practice goes, the only people that hope to meet a virgin to marry one day are those from very strict religious and cultural backgrounds who seek the same.
| Of particular interest, and something I write about in my book THE ADULT MALE VIRGINS HANDBOOK EBOOK not one virgin (male or female) has ever been excited by the prospect of marrying someone who is also a virgin. So it seems that even the virgins would rather not date virgins, expecting their future partners to guide them. Even virgins REJECT other virgins! |  The First Step To Losing Your Virginity |
With all this said, THERE IS REALLY NOTHING WRONG with being a virgin at any age. What matters is that the virgin is comfortable with being a virgin.
It is only an issue is the virgin is not happy being a virgin, but refuses to challenge him or her self to do something about it.
It is only an issue is the virgin is not happy being a virgin, but refuses to challenge him or her self to do something about it.
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Should a Male Virgin Pay For Sex?
by Frank Kermit
For the record, I must issue a disclaimer that I am not against prostitution.
I think that as long as it is between consenting adults, it is no one's business.
I think sex work needs to be decriminalized and legal.
With that said...
Every now and then, when people find out that I coach Adult Male Virgins (AMVs)
they ask why don't AMVs simply pay for sex and get it over with.
Yup, that is right. As I describe in my THE ADULT MALE VIRGINS HANDBOOK EBOOK
The same people that would scorn a man for being an AMV,
scolding him for paying a hooker or escort for sex,
also scorn him for not having done so yet.
Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't.
by Frank Kermit
For the record, I must issue a disclaimer that I am not against prostitution.
I think that as long as it is between consenting adults, it is no one's business.
I think sex work needs to be decriminalized and legal.
With that said...
Every now and then, when people find out that I coach Adult Male Virgins (AMVs)
they ask why don't AMVs simply pay for sex and get it over with.
Yup, that is right. As I describe in my THE ADULT MALE VIRGINS HANDBOOK EBOOK
The same people that would scorn a man for being an AMV,
scolding him for paying a hooker or escort for sex,
also scorn him for not having done so yet.
Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't.
 Don't Let Guilt and Shame Hold You Back From Finding Sex, Love and Dating | Here is something I want to make clear to you. Paying for sex does not solve all your problems. In fact, all it does is trade your problems for different problems. Men who frequent prostitutes tend to become reliant on prostitutes. It is a very dangerous habit to get into. |
A woman that views sex with a man as a mere transaction, has no motivation to see him become independent of her nor is she likely happy for him if he finds a girlfriend or wife that he would be monogamous with. His independence would directly affect her bottom line.
Every AMV that I have ever coached that paid for sex, (still emotionally a virgin if not a physical one) still felt the emptiness of never feeling loved by a woman.
And that does not get solved by paying for sex.
Sure, it solves some of the physical cravings, at least temporarily until they come up again.
But it does not address the emotional needs and desires of
wanting to be wanted by someone that does not need to be paid.
But it does not address the emotional needs and desires of
wanting to be wanted by someone that does not need to be paid.
| Even worse, a man only gets to develop Real Sex Skills when he practices with a woman that isn't being paid to tell him he is great. |  An Ebook for just after you lose your V-Card, and what to do next |
A seminar for adult male virgins, who asks questions that they cannot ask anywhere else The Paradox:
Paying for sex is for guys that can already get sex without paying for it.
So, if you were thinking that paying for sex will solve the problem...
I can tell you from the experience of my client base...and those that attended my Adult Male Virgin Seminars who shared their stories, it does not.
It is time to Take The Luck Out Of Love and sign up for Coaching.
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add?
Write your thoughts in the comments below and SHARE this article to see how many of your friends think like you.
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add?
Write your thoughts in the comments below and SHARE this article to see how many of your friends think like you.
Sign up to talk with Dating and Relationship Expect Coach Frank Kermit
Make your love life a priority
Make Having a Love Life a Priority
by Frank Kermit
For whatever reason, losing your virginity has not been your priority.
How do I know? You are still a virgin.
Believe it or not, that is one of the biggest differences between men
who lost their virginity before you did.
Sure, some of them just got lucky and found a girl that liked them
back, and some of them just took a chance and went for it and
it just happened. But that did not happen for you.
And since it did not happen for you, that means that you are just going
to have to work harder than the other guys.
That means you have to make it a goal.
Once you make it a goal to lose your virginity, it becomes a priority
in your life. And that is a GOOD thing.
As you read in the AMV Handbook, or listened to the audio seminar,
I made it a goal after I was humiliated publicly when I was outed as a virgin.
I was unhappy being a virgin. And as soon as it became a concrete goal,
it helped motivate me to take actions so that I would put myself in
situations so that I could focus my TIME and ATTENTION on the things
that I thought would help me most.
When something is a PRIORITY in your life, you put everything else
that is NOT a priority aside, so that you can dedicate yourself to
reaching that goal.
And Yes, losing your virginity is an acceptable goal to have.
It is OK to finally lose your virginity.
by Frank Kermit
For whatever reason, losing your virginity has not been your priority.
How do I know? You are still a virgin.
Believe it or not, that is one of the biggest differences between men
who lost their virginity before you did.
Sure, some of them just got lucky and found a girl that liked them
back, and some of them just took a chance and went for it and
it just happened. But that did not happen for you.
And since it did not happen for you, that means that you are just going
to have to work harder than the other guys.
That means you have to make it a goal.
Once you make it a goal to lose your virginity, it becomes a priority
in your life. And that is a GOOD thing.
As you read in the AMV Handbook, or listened to the audio seminar,
I made it a goal after I was humiliated publicly when I was outed as a virgin.
I was unhappy being a virgin. And as soon as it became a concrete goal,
it helped motivate me to take actions so that I would put myself in
situations so that I could focus my TIME and ATTENTION on the things
that I thought would help me most.
When something is a PRIORITY in your life, you put everything else
that is NOT a priority aside, so that you can dedicate yourself to
reaching that goal.
And Yes, losing your virginity is an acceptable goal to have.
It is OK to finally lose your virginity.
Do not talk about sex if you are a virgin
Do Not Talk About Sex if You Are an Adult Male Virgin
by Frank Kermit
Helping Adult Male Virgins (AMV)
who want to find their first girlfriend to have sex with
is specialization in my coaching practice
Here is a Quick Tip for Adult Male Virgins
Do NOT Talk about Sex. You are a virgin, and you might end up saying
something that presents you in a really negative way.
Just like the main character in the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin,
he was found out when he tried to talk about something he had no
experience in (remember the bags of sand line?)
My AMV coaching clients are often surprised to learn that some of the
statements they make casual to their friends and associates reveal
just how inexperienced AMVs can be, not only for sex, but for
dating and relationships as well.
If you have ever made negative statements about sex (Ewwww! That's disgusting),
or innocently asked questions such as
"Why would people do that?"
when talking about what seems to you to be a futile sex act,
or remarking how something "Isn't really important", those people
around you are spotting your inexperience.
Unlucky for you, they are also likely too polite to call you on it.
Which means, you continue to go about your business, never knowing
what they really think they know about you: that you are a virgin.
Simply put, people who have had sex, can spot you without you knowing it.
One of the ways you can limit this, is that you just do not talk about sex.
When someone tries to get you to talk about sex, here is what you can do:
Just tell everyone that there are certain things you do not talk about or
discuss publicly and sex is one of them.
Then make sure YOU STICK TO IT!
That also means no sex jokes too.
Yeah, it may not be fun. However, if your goal is to lose your virginity,
it is one of the best strategies you can apply.
Known to millions as Dr. Love through the website AskDrLove.com, she has been delighting readers and audiences for three decades with her engaging blend of professional expertise, humor and ability to turn clinical psychobabble into easy-to-understand concepts that transform lives and heal relationships. Her methods have been featured on all the national networks, including CNN (who recently dubbed her their Resident Love Doctor!) NBC, CBS, VH1, Fox, on websites like WebMD, iVillage, Discovery.com, MSNBC.com, and in Cosmopolitan, Mens Health, Glamour, American Woman, Modern Bride, and Marie Claire, to name only a few. Her Ask Dr. Love radio show can be heard in Seattle on KKNW and on TalkZone, which broadcasts in 80 countries worldwide.
Women Worried They are Dating Closeted Homosexual Men
Date: November 5, 2014, Title: The Ask Dr Love Show
Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Ask Dr Love show. On this show Frank Kermit and Dr Jamie Turndorf talk about women who are worried and concerned that the men they are married to and dating are secretly homosexual and hiding in the closet. Also discussed are how women can spot a closet homosexual, what to do if she discovers the truth, and ways for her to avoid ever getting into such a situation.
Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Ask Dr Love show. On this show Frank Kermit and Dr Jamie Turndorf talk about women who are worried and concerned that the men they are married to and dating are secretly homosexual and hiding in the closet. Also discussed are how women can spot a closet homosexual, what to do if she discovers the truth, and ways for her to avoid ever getting into such a situation.
The Epidemic of Adult Male Virgins
Date: September 17, 2014, Title: The Ask Dr Love Show
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance on The Ask Dr Love show to talk about Adult Male Virgins. Why they exist, how to spot them, and how to help them.
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance on The Ask Dr Love show to talk about Adult Male Virgins. Why they exist, how to spot them, and how to help them.
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ABOUT FRANK
Frank Kermit MA, is an expert Relationship & Dating Coach with 25 years of experience. He is an author of original content books, eBooks and audio products. he has written many publications online and in print. He is frequently asked to be a guest speaker for media and events.
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IS SHE WORTH THE EFFORT YOU WANT TO MAKE TO STEAL HER FROM HIM?
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in her new book The Sex Bible For People Over 50.
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NEW! The Sex Bible For People Over 50: The Complete Guide To Sexual Love For Mature Couples
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