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Here are 8 romantic gift ideas to surprise your other half with this year and for years to come.  A Romantic Surprise Can Renew Your Relationship A romantic surprise can renew your relationship, especially when it comes from the bottom of your heart. You may even fall in love all over again if you are at the receiving end of a big surprise. The good news is that surprises don't have to be expensive at all. But if you can afford them, there's nothing wrong with wowing your significant other with a priceless gift. If you want to reignite that spark in your love life, here are some sure-fire surprise ideas for your other half. 1. Remind them with a note that you care for them If minimalism is your hallmark, go with something that's less costly yet meaningful. A simple creative gesture of love could take the form of a note to your partner, reminding them that they are always on your mind. Everyone wants to feel loved, isn’t it? You can renew the passion for your relationship by leaving an unexpected sweet note for your partner. It could be anywhere, say at the coffee table or maybe when you go for a date night. Fun surprises such as love notes can change the game of your relationship. 2. Write your partner a love letter Putting your feelings for your partner on paper may sound old-fashioned, but believe it or not, handwritten love letters can constitute huge romantic surprises even in this digital age. According to Babita Spinell, a seasoned relationship expert, writing a love letter to your dearest one is a cool way to validate your affection for them. When a couple is experiencing rocky moments in their relationship, a love letter could also bridge the gap. 3. Take them out for a romantic trip The coronavirus pandemic has impacted the world's tourism industry. However, if you want to still work on your couple goals, you could mask up and embark on a romantic trip. Since international travel restrictions may still be in force, you may want to opt for an outdoor adventure such as camping. Sweep your partner off their feet by planning a beautiful romantic trip with them. You may want to keep the trip as simple as possible; elaborate plans could fail in the midst of the pandemic. 4. Take your partner on a shopping spree If your significant other has been talking about wanting new clothes, consider taking them out for shopping. Since shopping clothes for your partner when you don't know their sizes can be tricky, you may want them to go with you to the shop. Your girlfriend/boyfriend will probably see you as their best shopping assistant. Offer your feedback as they try new clothes, and your partner will likely find the best clothes. 5. Shower your partner with Valentine's Day flowers With 2021 and Valentine's Day up in the air, you may want to surprise your other half with gifts such as flowers. It helps if you know which flowers are her favourite - whether tulips, sunflowers or roses. To stay safe from the virus and melt your partner's heart, you could order Fig & Bloom flowers for Valentine's Day. They can make bespoke floral arrangements that will pleasantly surprise our partner, and your thoughtfulness can help strengthen your relationship. 6. Offer them a full-body massage You don't have to be a licensed massage therapist before you can calm down your partner with a soothing full-body massage. In these troubling times of the pandemic, it's easy for partners to stress out. A massage therapy can enhance your partner's life by reducing their stress, strengthening their immune system and improving blood circulation. Assuming you want to make the massage experience even greater for your other half, you could call in an expert therapist. 7. Buy them a ticket to a show Is your partner a music lover, a sports fanatic, or a big fan of comedy? Buy them a ticket to their favorite show, and it will be nothing short of a big surprise. When festive seasons like New Year's Eve come around the corner, attending live events with your partner can be fun. Entertainment programs can also educate couples and help them realize their relationship goals. 8. Buy them beer and wine If your boyfriend or girlfriend loves drinks that much, consider buying their favorite beer or wine. You may have to visit nearby breweries in your zone to have that wonderful couple time. For partners who may not want to step out, you could still order your beer and wine from home. Romantic surprises have healing powers; incorporate them into your relationship and have a good time with your partner.
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Newly married? Dreaming of a honeymoon in the future when we can all travel again? Read these tips on how to make your honeymoon romantic and embrace your special time together. A honeymoon is the ultimate holiday for newlyweds to enjoy their married bliss. After getting married, you would usually have a honeymoon booked for that same year, with some even opting to go straight after the wedding day itself. Whatever your preference, here are some tips to make your honeymoon romantic.  Enjoy A Sunset Together Have A Lazy Day In Bed There’s nothing like unwinding and relaxing in a tropical paradise. Whether you go for a Maldives honeymoon or you fancy a trip across America, there is always going to be an opportunity to lounge. And one way to get the most out of a trip is to have a day where you do nothing at all. That means having a lazy day in bed or around the pool where you do nothing but chill out in each other’s company. A lazy day in bed might be ideal if the place you’re staying in is a luxurious one. If not, then there’s likely plenty of opportunities to lounge around the pool, on a sun lounger, or one of those day beds if you get lucky. Make sure you are allocating some time to just chill out because the likelihood of you getting a moment like this might be pretty rare for those that do a lot of work back at home and may never get the opportunity to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. Get A Couple’s Massage A couple’s massage is the ultimate romantic treat that you both can enjoy. Instead of going into a separate treatment room, why not get yourself booked in a room together where you have individual masseuses but can enjoy the relaxing massage as a pair, rather than alone. When you’re on a honeymoon, you’ll likely want to spend as much time together as possible, and a couple’s massage is definitely one of those treats that can be enjoyed as a pair. Watch The Sunset Being able to watch the sunset isn’t something most will typically do when back at home. It’s good to see the world from a different viewpoint, and when you’re somewhere abroad, it can be nice to watch the sunset together. It can be a romantic and peaceful experience that will help say goodbye to the day’s events and a thing you do before going off and having fun in the evening. Do Lots Of Activities Together The purpose of a holiday is to have a great time to relax and do activities where preferred. However, when you’re on a honeymoon, it’s good to do as much of the holiday together, rather than apart. Make sure you’re taking advantage of any activities that are available, and that would be fun for you and your partner to do. Take some time to yourselves, whether it’s a ride across the desert on camel or water skiing along the ocean. A honeymoon is the perfect chance to spend quality time together before it’s back to the reality of the daily grind. Use these tips to make the most out of your trip.  Top 5 Rules for Taking 2019 by the Proverbial BallsBy Carrie Joyner New Year, New Me....we hear it all the time. But how many of us really mean it? There are a lot of negative posts floating around on social media about 2018 and a lot of optimism about 2019. This is going to be the year, apparently, that everyone with an Instagram or facebook account change everything. I love the romanticism of the idea, but it’s kind of the same story every year and a lot of hype goes into the New Year and its symbolism. I think it’s fabulous to “review” the year- what went wrong, what went right, what didn’t change and what needs to change. Kind of an inventory check aka self- reflection. The reality is most of us are probably going to party way too hard tonight and wake up nursing one of the worst hangovers of the “new year”. Ah, maybe the New Year resolutions can start on the 2 nd of January instead of tomorrow? Either way, doing my own self-reflection I pin-pointed a few things that I need to change or at least be mindful of this year. 1.) Respect Time.“The Problem is that you Think you have Time”- Buddha I love this quote. I think Buddha meant this more universally about being present and mindful, but it applies to punctuality, too. I have noticed, and so have others (cough, cough) that I tend to leave things a little to the last minute, especially when it comes to being “on time”. Whether it’s for a meeting, work, getting my son to school, showing up to a scheduled dinner, etc- I always seem to be “just on time”, a few minutes late or some natural disaster prevented me from showing up anywhere near on time. It’s a problem. And it’s rude. I always say how much I hate it when people waste my time by cancelling meetings, not showing up, making me wait, etc.- so why do I feel that it is excusable for me to do the exact same thing to others? It’s not. When I owned my yoga/fitness studio I would be livid if I didn’t start one of my classes on time for whatever reason or if an instructor came in late with car trouble excuses yet a room full of clients waiting to start the class. It was my show, though...and if anything happened on my watch, I was accountable. Lately I seem to be making a lot of excuses to myself and others about my punctuality and that is going to change out of respect to the others that it affects. Time is money, we all know this, but is also a verbal contract with the other person when a meeting is set; whether it is drinks with a friend or an early meeting with colleagues, punctuality does matter and a lack thereof doesn’t go unnoticed. I used to work for a film producer and we had a lot of meetings with directors, actors and other very animated characters, one famous porn star in particular was always late...if she showed at all. Sitting at a famous restaurant in Beverly Hills waiting for her one day, the producer said to me “5 minutes late is understandable, 10 is annoying and anything over 15 minutes is just rude”. That stayed with me but hasn’t exactly been applied, until now. The president of the radio station I work with now takes it another degree higher and says “showing up on time means you are late. Always plan for something to go wrong and show up early”. Food for thought and advice I will take with me into 2019. I don’t think I will be joining the 5am club, but maybe setting the alarm a bit earlier. Baby steps. 2.) Find and nurture loveI have wrestled with this one a lot over the course of my life so far. A lot of important people have come and gone from my bubble over the years, and I am not referring to death- just leaving or being left. I am also not just referring to romantic love, but the ability to trust, love and release your entire being to another with full confidence. Going through my parents divorce in my teenage years and my own in my thirties was not fun or easy. Not that it ever is. I can admit that I have abandonment issues which probably prematurely wrecked or sabotaged some other very important relationships with people I cared about in the past. For that, I am sorry. I put up the walls and always used that “you can’t fire me because I quit” mentality if anyone got too close and I thought I could get hurt. Fight or flight? It ultimately doesn’t do anyone any favors and is a fabulous way to cheat myself out of a lot of goodness. In some cases, crazy just has to go but they are the exceptions to the rule. There is a communication gap in a lot of relationships and it needs to be filled, as painful as it may be at the time, it HAS to be filled. We all have, will be or are going through relationship issues- whether they are friendships, romantic, parental or professional. It is very easy to look back and dwell on the past, to dissect it and get caught up in details and existential grief. It is much harder to just be where you are. Breath it in, soak it in and take that inventory again of who IS in your life right now that brings love, joy, happiness and focus on nurturing and growing those relationships. Learning to soften and let go into the arms of love- be that of a child, lover or friend...to really open up, be vulnerable and soak in love. Listen, learn and love. It is such a cliché, but its an inside job and it starts with one’s self...which leads me to number three; 3.) Radical Self CareFor a new mom, this could be as simple as a 30 minute (ok, fifteen?) bath with candles and soft zen music as someone watches the baby. Just TAKE TIME to be alone. I have been learning this as time marches on. My son is almost twelve, so the new mom category is out for me, but I have been doing this a lot lately. Reading more, watching movies, sleeping in, going to the gym... just unplugging from life when I can etch out a few minutes, hours...whatever. Just making sure I do this every day makes being a single mom with two jobs actually fun. Here’s another cliché, but we all know that you will never be able to love or give of yourself freely if you don’t take the time to nurture and honor yourself. Running around in thirty different directions most of the time is a reality for most single working parents with a child in sports...but carving out that “me” time and making it a DAILY ritual is the key to not only functioning but thriving in light and love. Take that trip! Hang out with that girl from high school who messaged you out of the blue on Facebook. Disconnect so you have more room to fully connect. It’s like charging your phone...it eventually dies if you don’t charge it, right? It’s not about being selfish, its about self preservation and ultimately, getting that glow back. Maybe its not a brand new wardrobe or expensive surgeries- but a pretty new top, or a hair cut, or a massage up north at a thermal spa. Get militant with protecting your downtime. Say NO more. Do LESS when you can and don’t need to be overextending for useless gatherings with people you don’t care about. Networking is amazing, but in small organized doses. That’s what it has been for me lately- prioritizing my time and making sure I am giving myself enough of that yummy me time. 4.) Be KindIt’s that simple. As a former yoga teacher I learned a lot from my students. The most important lesson is to back off on the knee-jerk judgement calls on people. You honestly never really know what the other person has been or is going through. EVERYONE has a story. Take the time to smile at strangers, but not in a creepy way, of course, and preferably not in a public bathroom. Just be gentle with people. Not everyone is out to get you, and some people may be on the verge of some pretty dark stuff that you know nothing about. Give your clothes away to a shelter, buy a homeless person a meal or at least a coffee or tea, tip more than you normally do if the waiter/waitress went out of their way to serve you with a smile even though they could be having a horrible day. It doesn’t take much to do something nice for someone everyday and it doesn’t have to cost a thing. It could just be a compliment, opening a door, asking someone how they are doing... whatever. I find you get treated the way you treat people. Maybe just simple karmic law, but I plan on finding a lot more ways to, simply put, be nice. (Side note: Don’t be a fool either ...some people don’t deserve your energy. Learn how to read this carefully and donate that energy accordingly. Know when to trust your gut and move on). 5.) Be gratefulOne of my friends on Facebook posted something yesterday that instantly got me thinking about how grateful I am for everything I am and have. I am far from perfect and there is a laundry list of things that I need to work on, from my physical health to career goals to finding a really good hair treatment... just constantly striving to better myself. But I have my health, ten fingers, ten toes, my beautiful son and family, friends, a great career, love, both my parents are healthy and alive...another nephew is on the way soon. I am so blessed and the gifts keep growing. So, this friend on Facebook posted about someone in his life who was in a wheel chair for 30 years, and now entering into their last quarter of life, a woman who broke a leg or a hip or something...and all of his pictures were of her as a young woman; healthy, beautiful, strong and then a photo of her in a wheel chair lifting weights at what looked like about eighty years old in a hospital somewhere. DAMN! I thought. It really is all about how we look at things/situations and our attitude that can get us in or out of a positive mind set. Sometimes I hear people complaining about really trivial stuff (I need to lose 20 lbs, guys don’t hit on me anymore, I can’t afford XYZ, I am not smart enough, good looking enough, etc) and I will admit I get caught up in the negative self talk myself at times, but the important thing to remember is these fighters. Warriors, really. Never getting caught up in a defeatist mindset, rather focusing on the end game. I guess that is what it comes down to this time of year. Goals. I said “baby steps” before, and while I do believe the small changes add up to the big ones, I think selling ourselves short of our wildest dreams is a mistake. Tonight, as everyone is out partying, I am going to set down some pretty lofty goals for 2019 because I know I can attain them. Shoot for the moon, because even if you don’t reach you will still end up with the stars, right? Happy New Year! Cheers to owning 2019
Do You Know How To Host A Great Christmas Party For Your Employees That They Will Love? Read this contributed post to learn 5 tips that will help you plan a memorable event.  Christmas Parties Are a Great Way To Bring Everyone Together The Christmas party season is officially upon us, and whether you’re already planning something for your employees or are stuck for ideas - maybe you thought you would just skip it this year completely and let them arrange something on their own, office Christmas parties really are a great way to bring everyone together and wind down after a long year and show appreciation for the hard work they’ve been putting in. So, if you’re struggling to come up with some good ways to celebrate and ensure that everyone has a great time, then we’ve got you covered. In this post, we’re going to share with you some tips for how to throw a great Christmas party for your team so you’ll hopefully go down as the best boss in history - or at least a pretty cool one. Set a budget: This may not be the most enjoyable part of planning a party, but it’s essential because it’s so easy to get carried away and letting things get out of hand when arranging the different elements of the Christmas party, so ensuring you set a budget from the beginning and are able to stick to it is definitely an important thing to take care of since it will allow you plan more efficiently and effectively without going crazy on the spending side of things. Find a great venue: This is one of those things that is always going to be easier the more notice you give, but even if you’ve left it a bit last minute it’s still going to be possible to find a great venue - it may not be your first, or even your second choice, but you’ll be able to find something that fits what you’re looking for. The other thing to consider is that some of the venues that have been booked well in advance may have cancellations, so it’s always a good idea to reach out to them and let them know if they have any cancellations to contact you as you’d be willing to put a deposit down right away - this is a win-win, since they’re not losing out and may even gain a bit extra since the deposits are generally non-refundable so the person who cancelled would have already had to let theirs go. Decide if you’re having it catered: Although catering can set you back quite a bit, it’s a pretty good thing to do for your staff - especially if alcohol is going to be flowing freely. Instead of having everyone have a sit-down meal, then a buffet option could be more cost effective and is actually a better option since it’s more casual and relaxed. When it comes to catering, it’s also worth deciding how you’re going to work the drinks. If you’re going to go for an open bar, then this will cost more, but you can usually speak to the venue and get them to work out some kind of deal with you so instead of paying per drink, you just pay a flat fee for the night and this will definitely put you up there as one of the coolest bosses ever. Decide on a theme: Themes are a pretty fun way to add a new level to a Christmas party, and although it’s Christmas, your theme doesn’t need to have anything to do with the Holidays - it can be fancy dress, it can be a theme that involves fun masks, or it can really be anything that’s a bit out there - or something that has a special meaning for your company and employees. It really doesn’t matter, but the idea is to have fun and get creative with it. You can have a look online for lots of inspiration around coming up with good themes for your party. Arrange entertainment: A party isn’t a party without entertainment, so decide on things like whether you want a DJ, a band, or whether you’d like to bring in a company like The Bartender Company to pour some great drinks and even mix up special themed cocktails for people or even have a funny photo booth. You have loads of ways you could get creative with this, so don’t be afraid to look into different and quirky entertainment options for your office Christmas because this is the stuff that will make it memorable for all the right reasons, and good entertainment doesn’t have to cost a lot. We hope this list has given you some good tips and ideas for planning your office Christmas party this year - or even in the future. Read 4 easy ways to reconnect with estranged family in this contributed post. With the Christmas season being just around the corner, there really has never been a better time for you to reconnect with your family. If you find this difficult because your family is estranged or because you don’t talk anymore then you have nothing to worry about. There are things that you can do to try and bring everyone together again. Reach Out More than Once It’s so important that you reach out more than once. The main reason for this is because relationships can deteriorate over the years and this can be made worse by stubbornness and even lack of communication. You may feel as though you have been wronged by them, or vice versa. You may also be convinced that the other should be making the effort and this can make the situation even worse. If you want to avoid a communication deadlock, then you need to try and extend an olive branch more than once. Let your anger go, and really make the effort to try and see it from the other person’s point of view.  Reach Out More Than Once Give, or Ask for Forgiveness You need to be able to move past whatever happened. If you know that something is holding you back from meeting up with the other person, then you need to stop this from coming between you. Tell them that you forgive them, or admit to the mistakes that you may have made. This can be a fantastic way for you to build bridges and it can also be a great way for you to show that you are there for them. If you want to meet up with them then you may want to rent a house for a family reunion. Talk About It When you have come to the point where you can forgive the other person, or where they can forgive you, you then need to try and talk about what happened. You don’t need to ignore the elephant in the room. Instead, you need to chat about what went wrong and even talk about the way that it made you feel as well. It’s so important that you don’t argue here, and that you really put the work in to try and explain the actions that you took at the time. When you do this, you can then reach a higher level of understanding that could bring your family together again.  Plan Something Special Together Plan Something Special When you are on talking terms, plan something special. You could try and put the Christmas tree up together or you can even try and do something you always wanted to do when you were younger. This can help you to remember the good times and it can also help you to really make the most out of the time you have with one another. If you don’t feel like arranging something like this then consider spending some time with your family and crack open a good bottle of scotch. After all, times like this need to be celebrated and the sooner you are able to understand this, the better.  Happy Canada Day! HAPPY CANADA DAYTO ALL MY CANADIAN CLIENTS! Here is a little something to make you laugh, and part of my contribution to Canadian Culture: Frank participates in the great Canadian game of Bum Darts! ENJOY!  What made you fall in love? SHARE YOUR STORY!
Did you know each other for years and slowly fall in love? Were you recovering from an illness, and that person was there for you? Did you bond over food, music, or hobbies? Perhaps you worked together? Happy Valentine's Day!  Learn How To Play The Insta-Date Game For Events For Singles The Insta-Date Game by Frank Kermit This is yet another group activity I created for one of my weekly workshops. Ideally used with mixed groups of single men and women in dating workshops. This one can be fun, and take time, but very useful for very shy and reluctant singles. To find more games for singles events and other exercises for singles, please check out my coaching workbooks: I'm a Man, That's My Job and I'm a Woman, It My Time The Insta-Date Game Insta-Date Definition: A 10 minute conversation where the goal is for each person to learn 1 to 3 things about the other person, so that they can introduce the other person to a third person. Ask the crowd a simple ask a question like, "Who likes and has a (pet) ?" Hands go up. Pair up as many couples as you can. They are now required to have a 10 minute Insta-date where the goal is to discover 1-3 things about the other person. Those that did not get paired up, are asked another simple question. When hands go up, pair up as many couples as you can. They start talking; they already had a topic to start them off (the topic they already have in common). You are the organizer and now have a choice: Your First Choice You can have 2 paired couple merge into a group of 4. Each man has to talk to the other man about the 1-3 things he learned about the woman he spoke to for 10 min. Each woman has to talk to the other woman about the man she spoke to for 10 min. This -Introduction- phase should take no more than 10 min (the same amount of time as an insta-date. At the end of the -introduction- phase, the group of 4 breaks apart into couples again with the partners swapping from who they were originally speaking too. Now the new Insta-date couple has already been introduced by a third party and knows a little something about each other. Repeat this system, for about 1 hour and make sure that everyone gets to insta-date someone new each time. After the hour is over you can move on to other games, or let the singles mingle. You Second Choice If you do not have enough people for everyone to be coupled up, then during the time that some people are insta-dating, give a workshop lesson about conversation tips for dating to the people attending. When the original insta-daters are done and re-join the group, ask another simple question and then you pair up a number of couples and send them to a part of the event space where they can insta-date, as you give more conversational tips for dating to those that did not get paired up. Part of this method is to give specific easy to use conversational tips for dating that the attendees can use during an insta-date. And if at any point during the workshop, you see a potential insta-date match up, assign them to insta-date immediately and re-join the group in 10 min. Hope you enjoy these games at your next singles event.
#singles #dating #events #eventplanner #eventprofs #eventplanning #event #parties #eventdesign #eventmanagement #conference #venues #eventstyling #partytime #drinks #dubstep #festival #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #feb14 #single #singlelife #dating #meetup #mc #matchmaking #matchmaker #match #coaching #valentines  love coaching  Learn How To Play The Ready For Love Game Ready For Love Game by Frank Kermit This is another group activity I created for one of my weekly workshops. Ideally used with mixed groups of single men and women in dating workshops. It is a little complicated, but it WILL make a point to the group. I have included it in my coaching workbooks: I'm a Man, That's My Job and I'm a Woman, It My Time It may also make some attendees upset. That is the risk you take doing it. Seriously, some of your attendees may get very very upset. Best to do this with people you have worked with for a while, as this game will point out where people self-sabotage and not everyone likes being told how they ruin their own chances at finding love. The premise is that you go to a florist and buy the cheapest flowers you can (in my area at the time, the cheapest were carnations). Each flower will be individually wrapped in cellophane. Ideally aim for a variety of colors, but it is not necessary. The amount of flowers you pick up should be about 20-25% of your group capacity. So if you get 20 people coming to the workshop you need to get at least 4-5 flowers. At the beginning of the workshop you tell them that you are going to play a game called “Ready For Love” and it requires volunteers. You ask for the same number of volunteers as you have flowers. It cannot be someone whose friends push him or her. It has to be people independent enough to volunteer themselves. You as the host cannot ask anyone specific to step up. When you have the number of volunteers you need stepping forward (try to have half be men, and half be women), you will make the announcement that these brave souls have taken the risks necessary to find love. Then give each of them a flower. Tell them: The Flower is a symbol of the Love they have been given, and the love they will risk giving. It is a symbol of how much risk someone is willing to take when it comes to dating and finding new love in his or her lives. Each flower holder is then given a choice. The choice is you can either 1-Give the flower to anyone in the room (regardless of gender) that you want; it is a SYMBOL that you are ready for a potential opportunity at love in the future (with no guarantee that you will ever give get it back – people cannot make “deals”) or 2-Hold on to the flower as a symbol that you would rather hold on to this first chance at love, not be open to new potential opportunities for love in the future (but again are not guaranteed) Rule: You cannot give a flower to someone that already has one. At that point those flower holders who still hold their flowers may sit down, and those who are ready to give it away, find someone in the room to give it to. Rule: Anyone without a flower can step forward and ASK to be given a flower when it is time for the flower holders to give a flower to someone. Make sure you assistant keeps track on who gets up to VERBALLY ASK for a flower. They have to verbalize it. Standing up is NOT enough. They have to verbally ask the group of flower holders. Each person must find the courage within to ask individually. They cannot ask as a group (if you need your friend to help you ask for love, you will die alone). Each person can ONLY ask once the entire nightlong. After they used up the once, they can no longer ask for love. Everyone get this one turn including people that have had a flower already, gave it up, and have yet to ask for one again. As the host, you MUST keep track of each flower and who first volunteered, who held it, and who gave it away, and who got it. Get an assistant to help you keep track. It will be important later. Through the course of the workshop, continue with your lesson plan and every little while, you will again ask all the flower holders to step forward and give them all the same choice: 1-Give the flower to anyone in the room you want as a SYMBOL that you are ready for a potential opportunity at love (with no guarantee that you will ever give get it back – people cannot make “deals”) or 2-Hold on to the flower as a symbol that you would rather hold on to this chance at love, not be open to new potential opportunities for love in the future (but again are not guaranteed) Those that hold their flowers still, sit down. People who get up and VERBALLY ASK can ask those that want to give their flowers. The flower giver must choose to give it to someone that asks or they can give it to someone that has not asked. It is their choice completely Once the flowers have been passed on, and you have recorded who got them, and who gave them, who asked for it, if that person got it, and who has held on to the flower refusing to pass it along. In order for this to work, you have to run this a number of times. If your workshop is 3 hours, try to get in 10 runs of the game (run two, one right after the other to see how that changes it for people). It should not be a predictable pattern (every 20 min). Over the course of the game you will notice that some of the same people might get a flower each time they are available to get one. You will also notice that some people will not get any flowers at all, and not even ask for one, nor ever volunteer. What you will discover next is how the entire metaphor of the Flower as being Ready For Love is just a symbol for why the people in the group are still single. Now it is time to explain why the host (and assistants have been keeping track of who did what and how often). There are points assigned for every action taken and for every flower received. Points: (you do not tell the attendees that you were keeping track of points) Each person that was the first to volunteer gets 10 points if they gave their flower away If the first volunteer holds on to the flower during the first give away, they lose 9 points, and only get 1 point Each time someone gives away a flower they get 5 points Each time someone gets a flower they did not ask for, they get 1 point Each time someone gets up to ASK for a flower, they get 10 points If the person asking for a flower gets one, they get an extra 5 points (15 total) If the person holds on to the flower, they do not get or lose points at all. (Zero) They stay the same. When you tabulate the points you will find that the people who volunteered and who asked for the flowers tend to have the most points. Those people that refused to participate could have zero points. Then there are those in the middle. Now for the secret...the points are meaningless (for the most part). It is not based on the number of points you have that will guarantee that you find love. The ONLY thing that the points reflect is your willingness to be READY FOR LOVE. Just like life does not guarantee results, neither can you. However, the people that put themselves out there the most are the ones that have the best chances for love. The Lesson Each point represents a chance at love. But just like in life, if you block yourself from taking chances on new opportunities for love, because you are too obsessed with the “flower” in your hand at the moment, you will not find a potential soul mate. You need to be open to love in order to be READY FOR LOVE. THAT is the point of the game. To remind everyone to be open to meeting a potential soul mate. Every 5 points represents the number of soul mates you will meet over the course of your lifetime. The more you put yourself out there, the more soul mates you will meet over the course of your life. Sometimes you might get lucky that someone likes you enough to make a move on you (give you a flower without asking). If you are LUCKY enough to be attractive to others, you get a shot at collecting enough opportunities to come across a new soul mate. That is still no guarantee it will work out. But you have a bigger chance at meeting someone. The people who initially volunteered as well as the people that got up and verbally asked got the highest point. They represent the ones who are willing to ask for what they want and to volunteer to take the risk to be Ready for Love. They get 10 points (which means they have the chance of meeting two great soul mates throughout their love lives). The people who volunteered at the beginning, but who did not give the flower away represent the people that were too attached to their first love, and closed themselves off from new opportunities for love. Thus they only get 1 point (the same amount of points that someone gets when they are just lucky). One point alone is not enough to get to them a soul mate. Each time someone gives away a flower, that person gets 5 points. These people represent what it takes to increase your chances in your love life to meet as many soul mates as you can. You do not get love by hoarding it. You get more love by giving more love. If a person gives away a flower every time he or she gets one, by the end of the night, that person will have great chances to meet a number of soul mates in their love life. (All symbolic of course). Each time that someone gets a flower without asking for it, they get 1 point only. They represent the people that just get lucky in their lives. 1 point is not enough, but if they are lucky enough to get 5 flowers without asking, they can achieve 5 points by the end of the workshop and earn the chance at having one soul mate in their love life. Each time that someone asked for a flower and got it, they get a total of 15 points (10 for asking and a bonus extra 5 for actually getting one). They represent what it takes to have the BEST chances of finding real love. They have learned to ASK for what they want, and just the fact they have put themselves out there gives them high chances to meet a soul mate. If they get a flower, whether it is because no one else was available at the moment to ask (timing does play a factor), or because there was something about the person that the flower giver liked, it means they are READY FOR LOVE in both taking a risk and asking for what they want. There will be people that get no points by the end of the night. Or only get less than 5 points because they did not get a flower by luck enough times or held on to a flower and refused to pass it along. These people represent those who have given up on dating. They did not volunteer, they did not ask for love, they just waited to see if they would be lucky enough if love came to them. Just like in life, if you do not put yourself out there and go for it, you will miss out. What I found eerie is how this really translated well to how people really are in their loves lives. Those that did not want to take risks or ask for the flower, knowing what the game represented (something you must enforce as the host), are the same ones that will not go for it in real life. Those that get obsessed over the most inexpensive flower, tend to be the same personality types that put too much emphasis on a past relationship and struggle to move on. Those that get the point of the game gave away their flower each and every chance they could, understand that the issue is not the flower, or the neediness for the flower; it was about putting something out there. And finally, what ends up happening is that the person that gives the most flowers away is also the person that gets the most flowers back, because although no one is forced to give it back, they just do, because he or she gave them “love” first. A complex game, but a really powerful lesson if you play it correctly; but the worst part? Listening to people’s excuses after the workshop why they did not want to volunteer, ask or give up their flowers. Just like in real life. The ones with the least amount of love have the most excuses. #singles #dating #events #eventplanner #eventprofs #eventplanning #event #parties #eventdesign #eventmanagement #conference #venues #eventstyling #partytime #drinks #dubstep #festival #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #feb14 #single #singlelife #dating #meetup #mc #matchmaking #matchmaker #match #coaching #valentines  Learn How To Play The Charisma Game for Singles The Charisma Game by Frank Kermit This is a Group Activity I created for you to practice with others. I created this for use when I was running weekly workshops for single for dating. I have included it in my coaching workbooks: I'm a Man, That's My Job and I'm a Woman, It My Time The premise: Each person in the room will offer one compliment to every other person in the room, WITHOUT expecting a compliment in return. When someone compliments you, you are instructed to simply say “THANK YOU”, without offering a compliment back. There are a few different ways to do it. For a larger group, have them walk around without saying a word, approaching as many people as they can. When they get face to face with someone, they must offer a compliment, without expecting one back, and the person being complimented must say. “THANK YOU” before saying anything else. For smaller groups, or groups of people with limited mobility, you can have everyone sit in a circle and each person takes a turn in complimenting all the other members in the group, one by one. In this set up, allow everyone some time to write down their compliments to others in the group without having anyone share them. Smaller groups ideally have everyone wearing a name-tag (use first name or nickname) Finally for very small groups of people who are horrendously shy, you can resort to people writing down the compliment for each person on a number of pieces of paper, then all the papers are collected and the host of the evening will pull out each one and read them out loud. Do not use this one unless in extreme circumstances. It is a last resort method of doing it. It does not reach all of the goals needed. The compliments can be superficial. It can be based on a physical feature like a smile, complimenting the person’s eyes, mode of attire, or style of clothing. If you start the group meet with the Charisma Game, most all of the compliments are going to be superficial, as most people will likely not know each other. If you run the Charisma Game 3-4 times over the span of the group meet (which is the way is usually works best), at each start of the Charisma Game you an instruct people to compliment how the person has participated in the group meet thus far. Very important to keep in mind; Instruct everyone that compliments are to remain appropriate and be non-sexual in nature. Do remember that some of the people who attend such group meetings are very socially awkward and may not know what is and is not an appropriate compliment. So offer some guidelines as to what is and is not an appropriate compliment. Finally, set a time limit. The Charisma Game is to happen for a 2-4 minute span at most with medium sized groups. You do not want the same people pairing up during the same segment of the game. The point of The Charisma Game is: -To teach people that going up to meet a stranger to make that person feel good is OK to do -To teach people strangers coming up to meet you and attempt to make you feel good is OK to do -To teach people how to simply accept a compliment (Which some people have a hard time doing) -To teach people that saying THANK YOU is enough, and not to feel obligated to compliment back just because someone complimented them first -To teach people not to expect anything back and not be attached to an outcome when they try to meet someone new -To build up people’s confidence in being able to compliment others, and for people to have their confidence reinforced by the compliments of others -To give people a chance to meet each other in the group settings are going to be regular ongoing meetings -To teach people that the more times you approach the same person over the course of the workshop, the easier it gets each time, and carry that comfort outside the workshop space The Definition of Charisma as I teach it, is to make a person feel good about him or her self, while at the same time present a positive impression of yourself to them. If you can do that, then you have Charisma. THE ART OF CALIBRATION PROGRAM: FROM CREEPY TO CHARISMA EBOOK The use of compliments is how you make a person feel good. HOW you compliment a person without the pressure of expecting anything said in return is how you start to train yourself to make a favorable impression of yourself in the process. Some of the things that would happen is that people from the workshop would get used to talking to people they liked as well as talking to people they did not like, which is a good social skill to develop. Some of the people would approach me afterwards and tell me how difficult the first few were, but once they got used to it, they felt more comfortable as they did it more often. Some people would take me aside and complain that everyone complimented him or her on exactly the same thing (for example, everyone complimented one person on her hairpin, and never on anything else). If this happens, it is a sign for the person to “step up” and give people something else to compliment. It is a great way for someone to learn they may not come across in the ways they thought. Get a group of people together and try it. Good luck! #singles #dating #events #eventplanner #eventprofs #eventplanning #event #parties #eventdesign #eventmanagement #conference #venues #eventstyling #partytime #drinks #dubstep #festival #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #feb14 #single #singlelife #dating #meetup #mc #matchmaking #matchmaker #match #coaching #valentines 5 relationship resolutions are discussed in this contributed post. Many of us grow up with the notion that when we meet the right person, everything will fall into place. That life will be easy, and our relationship will be perfect. We have the unrealistic idea that the right relationship won’t take any effort, it will just work. In reality, this is far from true. All relationships take time, effort, understanding and compromise to work. If you’ve spent 2017 focused on business or your own development and not given your relationships the time they need to grow and thrive, then it’s time to make some changes. Even if you feel like 2017 was a great year and your relationship is in a good place, you can always do more. So, let’s take a look at some relationship resolutions for 2018.  third wheel meme Give Them Time
When we’re working hard or busy looking after our children, it can be easy to neglect our partners. We just assume they’ll always be there and that if we live together, we’re seeing them plenty. Even if you go to sleep together every night, wake up together every morning and eat the odd meal around the same table, it might not be enough. Promise yourself that in 2018 you will give them more time. Quality time when you sit and talk, cook a meal together, or go for a date night. Where it’s just about you two and your relationship. Do this as often as you can. Learn to Compromise At the beginning of a relationship, when we’re keen to impress, we compromise a lot. We want them to think we’re the right person for them, so we let things go. Then, as time goes by the art of compromise can be lost. Everytime something happens, try to remember how happy this person can make you. Is that worth losing over whatever you are fighting over, or would you be better off compromising or letting the small stuff go? Put them First Work, kids, social media, nights out, and hobbies are all things that we often put before our partners when we are in long-term relationships. Don’t. Sometimes say “no I’m not going to go to that event, I’m going to spend that time with you” let them see that you value them and your time together above all else. Switch Off One of the main problems with relationships today is that we’re all only ever giving real life half of our attention. We get home from work and spend the evening glued to a screen. Even when we’re out with our partners or families, we’re constantly checking our notifications. Make a rule that phones and tablets go away after a certain time, and don’t always take them out with you. Give your real life your full, undivided attention, and you may all enjoy it a lot more. Try New Things Don’t get stuck in a pattern. We all need a routine when it comes to working and the school run, but you can still try new things. Go to new places, play a new game, listen to new music, try a new meal, anything different is something shared together and gives you something to talk about. If a relationship has come to an end this year, and you’re not happy about the decision, it doesn’t have to be the end. Make some changes and try to get your ex back, before it is too late. Relationships are one thing in life that it’s worth looking after. Whatever state yours is in, make 2018 the year it soars.  The Frank Kermit December Holidays Collection The December Holidays Collection by Frank Kermit ARTICLES Heart-Break Holidays: Holiday Couples Split Hurt, Lonely and Grieving At The Holidays (Heavy Heart Holidays) Mourning Loss Over The Holidays The Holiday Mistake That Singles Make (It's Good To Start Dating) Giving Thanks For Holiday Workers New Relationships Started During Holidays Parents, New Partners and Holiday Dinners (Let The Holiday Headaches Begin!) Single Going Into The Holiday Season December Dilemma: Inter Faith Holiday Couples Gift Giving Guide for Holiday Dating (For The Stages of Dating) Office Holiday Party Advice, Rules and Etiquette Holidays: Everybody's Happy Except You Give the Gift of Your Time for the Holidays Mourning Loss Over The Holidays Coping With Loss: The First Year of Firsts 5 Tips To Smell Good for Dating VIDEOS Updated on February 24, 2018 #december #seasons #christmas #xmas #christmastree #santa #christmasdecorations #merrychristmas #santaclaus #christmasornaments #christmasdecor #christmastime #christmasparty #presents #snowflakes #christmaslights #winter #hermeslove #festive #festivus #newyearseve #newyearsparty #jan1 #dec31 #newyears #newyearscelebration #ornaments #newyear #newyearsday #decemberdilemma #interfaithdating #interfaithmarriage #interfaitrelationship # #meetheparents #meetthefamily #holidays #familydinner #nyd #nye #alone #single #singlelife #dating  Anniversary of the book From Friends To Lovers by Frank Dear Friends, I got a reminder on social media that today is the anniversary that I self published my 10th book: From Friends To Lovers: Stop Being Her Emotional Cookie Man. On July 12, 2009 I self published it. In celebration, of this 8th anniversary of this book, I present the introduction of the this book written by Will Hicks. Enjoy! -Frank Kermit, Author Introduction to From Friends To Lovers by Will Hicks My Mother told me that it was an extreme honor when someone asks you to write an introduction or forward to their book as she was asked by one of her colleagues at work. When Frank asked me I took it as an extreme honor because of our friendship and the caliber of person that he is. Once Frank becomes your friend he’s there for you through thick and thin, rain or shine. He also makes sure he stays in communication with all his friends as well as open doors for you through friends he has that may be able to help you in any way.
The most memorable show for me was the New Years Eve show we did together. This was one of the funniest hours of my life. We talked about everything from where to go, where not to go, the mindset that you need to have...etc. The show was professionally done, as is everything the man does.
 Sign Up For A Custom Coaching Program. We’ve shared many private moments off the air also, friends talking shop, giving advice, and trying to help out guys that need it the most. There are a lot of pretenders out and I can say not just with my own experiences but also out of the mouths of countless others that Frank Kermit is No Pretender. His body of work speaks for itself and I’m honored to be a part of that great body of work. When Frank speaks it’s always from the heart and he’s speaking from experience. He genuinely doesn’t want you to make the same mistakes as he did or take some of the roads that he’s traveled. I’d say he generous to a fault with an infectious smile and as cool as the other side of the pillow. Once you enter his world, Frank becomes your mentor, coach, confidant, counselor and most importantly Friend. So enjoy what’s about to happen next. There will probably be things along the way that you disagree with or don’t like but you’ll always appreciate where they’re coming from, that I can assure you. Also know that Frank Kermit wouldn’t have you do something that he wouldn’t do himself. Will Hicks, Dating Coach  Sign Up for Coaching  Get a Real Girlfriend Now  Thank Frank By Helping Him Send His Son To School  Happy Father's Day! A Father's Day memory: Got something in my eye...I was at the park with my son (he is 7). He tells me that he plans to do two things when he grows up, and then wants to become a parent. I told him he does not have to become a parent if he does not want to. He says "hey, I am in charge of my own destiny!" ..then I asked him why he wants to one day become a parent, and he says,"I want be like you" ....feeling a little choked up right now... You are a great dad if you... -Put your kids ahead of the rest of your extended family -Show up to your kids weddings even if your wife did not want to attend -Made an effort to be a better father to your own kids than your own father was to you -built up your child's sense of independence and self esteem instead of using shame and guilt and dependence as a means of control -ask your children about their life dreams and help guided them to turn them to goals -supported your kids to reach full potential in ways that made kids feel good about themselves -protected your children from those that would hurt your kids, even at the risk of your own social status in your community -Taught your children the value of being treated well by others -Did not involved your children into the adult fights you had with your spouse -Who shows affection to your kids even if you still have to learn to be comfortable doing it Happy Fathers Day if you are this kind of Dad!! From the Coach who deals with clients that did not have this kind of dad. -Frank Kermit Some personalized birthday ideas are explored in this contributed post.  birthday cake https://tinyurl.com/y9yv3nsx I always try to make sure I plan to perfect birthday for my husband. I know that many of my readers also have partners, and so I wanted to release an article that gives you some great ideas. If you struggle to organise the celebrations for your loved one, you can use this post as inspiration. At the end of the day, you just need to show them that you care. You also need to make them feel special for that one day out of the year. Don’t worry if you haven’t got a lot of money to spend at the moment. A happy birthday isn’t about how much cash you throw at it, and there are always ways in which you can make savings. Search for quirky gifts Regardless of how much you can afford to spend, you’ll want to get your partner something different for their birthday. When all’s said and done, they have cash of their own. So, if they wanted anything from a high street shop, they’d probably go out and buy it. The experts behind Cuckooland's gifts for men say there are more quirky and unique product sites than ever before. So, you need to turn to the internet to find something interesting. You always find better prices online, and there is no reason to spend a fortune. Just select something that he probably hasn’t seen before. Cook his favourite meal Everyone likes to eat a decent meal on their birthday. So, you should remember your partner’s favourite dish and prepare it for his big day. You can also make some cookies or some other dessert he’ll love. Make a list of ingredients a couple of days in advance, so you have enough time to get them from your local store. You can then sit down and eat together during the early evening. You could also give him his gifts at the same time if you have children. They way, they can enjoy him opening the presents too. If you give them to your loved one in the morning, the kids might miss out because they have to go to school. Spend time together Lastly, I advise that whatever happens, you spend some time together. That could mean going out for a few drinks or staying home and cuddling on the sofa. In truth, it doesn’t matter how you spend your time so long as you’re by your partner’s side. When all’s said and done, there are only a few days each year in which you have to make each other feel special. So, plan something that will allow you to achieve that goal. Again, if you have children, you should think about involving them in any activities you organise. As you can see from that advice, you don’t have to work hard to plan the perfect birthday. You just have to make sure you have some time together. Your partner isn’t going to care about gold Rolex watches or anything expensive. If they love you, they’ll feel happy just being in your company. One last thing; make sure both of you book the day off work. You deserve to take a break on such an important date.  For Some Women, Mother's Day can be the Most Painful and Dreadful Day of the Year  It's Your Time Mother's Day Can Be Difficult For Some Women by Anonymous Mom aka Anonymom I do get how Mother´s Day can be difficult! I was abandoned by my mother upon birth like you would abandon an animal (without a care of what will happen). After a little time in an orphanage, I was adopted by another mom, the only one that I think of. She, in turn was mortally wounded by motherhood: her own child had died, and they did not allow her to mourn, they told her "that never happened" and "make another one". That marked my story, and my relationship with her, her ambivalence, and lack of healing.. Later, I became a mom, to heal myself, wanting to give the love I myself needed, which of course, never works because you cannot give what you do not have! I thought "because what I went through I will be amazing", and instead I was depressed, and inflicted that upon them! But I have been healing ever since. Unlike my adoptive mom, I got LOTS of support, and help through the years, and I conquered the scary dragons she never did ...I am happy today, but I DO get it. I am enjoying my kids, and the relationship I have with them now, but that does not mean I forgot the hardship, the pain, the complications ... Also my heart goes out for the ones that cannot be moms, those that like my own adoptive mom, lost a child, or their own mom, those misunderstood because they make the choice not to become mothers: Wherever you are emotionally today, it is OK, and I send you LOTS of love, and the best, most tender healing feelings, and hope you go gentle, and love yourself today! -Anonymous Mom aka Anonymom About The Author Anonymom is the term that FrankTalks.com uses for any mother who wants to tell her story anonymously. Contact [email protected] to tell your story  Happy Mothers Day Honoring Your Mothers By Frank Kermit Someone once told me that we enter this world on our mother's pain, and that we leave the world on our own pain. Looking after my wife during the last intense months of a complicated pregnancy and me insisting that I be in the delivery room when my own child was born, I must agree. Will I ever be able to fully appreciate my wife enough for everything she sacrificed and went through for our amazing child? In that sense, will I ever fully appreciate what my own mother sacrificed and went through to give me a chance at life? I doubt I am even qualified to answer that. So, how can someone honor his or her mother? I sometimes face this particular question in my practice during bereavement counseling when a family is struggling with the passing of a mother. At times, the mourning process may require someone to honor his or her mother's memory with some kind of memorial. These may include writing about her, naming a structure after her (such as a road, or building wing), starting up a charity fund or scholarship in her memory, and even planting a tree. However, by far the most powerful way I have found to honor a mother is to take every good value and great experience she gave you, and to pass that love along to your own children as well as to any children who may be in your care at any point in time. Whatever your own mother's greatest value that she passed on to you, pass on that same trait to others. Compassion, devotion, life lessons, a love of life, art, teaching…whatever it was that made her special to you; the best way to honor her is to keep her spirit alive each and every time you pass along those traits of hers to your own children, and the children of the world. When I think of my own mother, I struggle with seeing the now elderly lady who has trouble walking, remembering details and needs to rest frequently. It is hard to fathom that this is the same superwoman who I remember as being strong of body and spirit, a vibrant Jill-of-all-trades, who never stopped from early morning before anyone else woke up, going on to late night after everyone else went to bed. She was by no means perfect. No parent is. The most any mother can be expected to do is the very best she can, with what she has, and that is exactly the legacy my mother has left behind, that I will honor her with, as I pass that love on to my own child. So, to the mother of my child, to our mothers who gave us life, to the mothers of all my future descendants, to the mothers of my nieces and nephew, to the mothers of mothers, to the mothers of everyone I have ever cared about, to the mothers themselves that I have come to know, and to those special women who came to mother children that weren't originally their own…Thank you and I love you. Frank Kermit  Happy Star Wars Day - May The Fourth Be With You Happy Star Wars Day! May The Fourth Be With You! and May The Force Be With You! ********************* An ENA of Han Solo and Princess Leia Dear FrankTalks.Com Fans, Franktalks student Pogz wrote out an emotional needs analysis based on the emotional needs of women using the fictional characters of Han Solo and Princess Leia as a fun exercise to see if they would actually have worked in the real world (as real as Star Wars characters could be). I found it so thoughtful and enjoyable that I wanted to share it with all of you.Originally written Tuesday, January 18, 2011 -Frank An ENA of Han Solo and Princess Leia By Pogz, student of FrankTalks.com Han Solo and Princess Leia are a fictional couple. As audience members we can read anything we want into their attraction process because it is fiction. This has probably been done before, but if you want to play that game for fun: (EN = emotional need)
Leia: "Hey guys, great fighting... Sorry about the death of your platoon leader. What was his name... 'Joe' or something? I know I ordered him to take that planetoid. He will be missed. Now I hope you guys follow my leadership in the future... meanwhile, I'm going to go bang this pirate guy who won't fight along the side of you guys. You'll do what I ask in the future right?" Yeah, people talk. That would have been a morale booster! Let's see, sleep with "pirate Han" and risk losing the war to the Empire? There's more to reputation than just what her girl friends would think of her. No, it was only after "pirate Han" became "General Solo" that the Princess could completely give herself to him.
 We Miss You Princess EN3) Cater to the little girl in her No hugs from "pirate Han" when her planet was destroyed in the first movie. No sympathy from "pirate Han" for the impending Death Star attack on the rebel base. Not until halfway through 2nd movie do we see anything close to an act by "pirate Han" that would cater to her little girl (when she hurts her hand turning a wrench and he massages it). "General Solo" tries to comfort her in the Ewok village, but she pushes him away... so we never really see a good example of him catering to her in that way.
Because "pirate Han" is constantly worried about paying his debt to Jabba, he's constantly threatening to leave her and the rebels to fend for themselves. Therefore he is constantly violating her EN5. It isn't until he's frozen in carbonite, Jabba is dead, helps destroy the death star for a second time, and the war is over that she's finally able to commit to him completely - when she knows he's not going to leave her. Sure, going out into the blizzard for Luke somewhat addresses this need in her. But right after he's back, he's once again talking about leaving to go pay off Jabba. Yes, he wants her to admit that she loves him. But instead of saying "Yes, I want you to stay for me!", she instead calls him a "Scruffy Nerf Herder". Possibly what is irritating her here is that he is not committed to her cause. That she is testing him. Is "pirate Han" only there because he wants to bump uglies with her? Will he leave her if the Empire turns up the heat too high? Maybe it's not even that simple at that point... maybe she just can't handle his death, so she withholds her love, because if he dies it will hurt less.
The carbonite is probably the best expression of Frank's EN7, as Han can't take down the Empire himself, and in no way can he ever hope to defeat Vader on his own... but he TAKES THE HIT for her. One can argue that he had no choice, but... well... he ended up in the carbonite because he took responsibility for her safety when they left Hoth. The passage is blocked. I'll get her out on the Falcon! So he DID take the hit in order for her to escape. It is at this point, when he's being lowered in to the hole to be frozen, she says to him "I love you". It could be argued that "pirate Han" leaves her with one last abandonment issue by saying "I know", instead of "I love you too". But this is where "pirate Han" dies. Wow, that's some dedication! In his final death act (ok, the script says he was frozen, but really guys, he died and was reborn like Jesus). This final act of his, the fact that he took the hit, proved that he would not abandon her. The war still needs to be won, but upon his rebirth, he will no longer be the pirate scoundrel who can't be relied upon. Instead, he will be "General Solo".
Another point here is that he must understand her sexuality somewhat because half-way through the second movie the hand rub on the Falcon got him a Kiss... though he admittedly lost having sex due to logistics. He couldn't recover from C3PO's interruption. Lastly, as leader of the free galaxy and a princes (not to mention - being a petite, extremely hot woman in her 20s), most men probably see Leia as a Madonna figure, and suck up to her like no other woman in the galaxy. "Pirate Han" treats her like a man should, and thus she recognizes that he understands that the prim and proper princes is also a sexual being.
Now that his deeds have earned him the respect of the men she leads, "General Solo" is now a high-status guy as he is a General - a rank fit for the boyfriend of a princes. We can assume that association with him adds to her reputation, and doesn't detract from it. Plus he's a pilot, and chicks dig pilots. It is probably safe to assume at this point that she no longer thinks of "General Solo" as a "Scruffy Nerf Herder."
In Conclusion In short, scoundrel pirate Han (the one she can't handle) doesn't get Leia, but respectable General Solo does get the princess. Pirate Han constantly violates many of her ENs or has yet to prove to her he can address her ENs. General Solo has addressed all of her ENs (Ok, maybe not EN10, but come on guys. The movie was targeted at Kids... so we'll let that one slide) and he gets the Babe. Thus he is no longer really her opposite, but instead her equal. So no, opposites did not attract in the case of Han and Leia. Now there maybe more evidence within the books about Han addressing or not addressing her needs, but that takes us back to my original point... these people are fictional, and thus, only George Lucas knows for sure whether or not Leia had her ENs addressed properly. My guess is that he probably didn't have Frank's theories to guide him when he wrote the script. However, it seems to me that Han made some sort of "hero" journey throughout the trilogy, even though General Solo seems a little more wimpy at the end of the third movie than Pirate Han did at the beginning of the first. After all when he finally tells her that he loves her, she says back to him, "I know." Geesh! ***************** P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign Up For Frank Coaching Now!  Day of the Entrepreneur by Frank Kermit Day Of The Entrepreneur by Frank Kermit There are no personal days There are no sick days There are no recovery days There are no bereavement days There are no fun days There are no “me” days There are no vacation days There are no off days There are no days off There are no special days There are no holidays There are no family days There are no birthdays There are no wedding days There are no funeral days There are no Mondays There are no Fridays There are no weekdays There are no weak days There are no long weekends There are no weekends There are no mornings There are no afternoons There are no evenings There are no late nights There are no overnights There are no happy days There are no yesterdays There are no good ole days There is no tomorrow There is only TODAY Just a day when you either Get to work so you can get-to-work Or a day you do not get to work Until ONE DAY Everyday becomes A Personal Day And that is THE DAY Of The Entrepreneur by Frank Kermit  The Difference Between Jokes and Abuse In Raising A Child By Frank Kermit A joke is not a joke if it hurts someone. With April 1st (known as April Fools Day) upon us, it can be customary for some to play a prank on the people we care about, all in the name of harmless fun. However, in my practice I see a more sinister side of this day, and the premise that it is based on. When people use April Fools Day to justify a repeating behavior pattern of meanness and bullying, it is no joke. It is abuse plain and simple. The emotional damage that can occur when humor is used as a mask for abuse is serious. Ask any trauma counselor. I worked on programs with special populations (adults with autism and other developmental challenges), and also counsel trauma victims in my coaching practice. I see and deal with the damage done to people when just having fun at the expense of a human being goes without context. In most of those cases, the people having fun do NOT acknowledge that what they do is wrong, and are usually people who actually care (or are suppose to) about their targets. The worst is when those jokes are perpetuated on children, where most people first learn about the blurred connections between humor, jokes and harmful acts. Although children have a wonderful sense of playfulness that does not mean that children can distinguish the context of when a joke is a joke and when a joke can be harmful. A child laughs at cartoon characters kicking each other in the butt (just watch old Chip And Dale cartoons for an example). However, when a child mimics that same behaviors on his daycare classmates, it is not funny to the kids being kicked. Those innocent interpretations of children can grow up into emotional blocks for grown ups. "My mother regularly told me that I was a mistake as a joke", says the adult man who has trouble holding on to a job. "My brother used to call me fat as a joke all the time", says the adult woman who is dying from an eating disorder. Let us first start off with a major concept. Children are like sponges in the way they absorb information. There is no such thing as a time to play and then a time to learn. Children are ALWAYS in learning mode. If you were to consider thinking of playtime as merely a different mode of learning, you may start to get a grasp of just how important socialization is to the development and education of a child. This is one of the reasons why new educational endeavor seek to employ entertainment values in lesson planning. When children are exposed to abuse under the form of humor, it is just as much an education about how to relate to themselves and each other, as sitting in a classroom and following a prepared lesson by a teaching professional. Children who are the target of jokes may be learning something negative if the context of the joke is in anyway hurtful. If the teasing is coming from other children who have already set themselves up to be categorized as enemies, it may carry a certain message (i.e. the problem is the other children, not the child being targeted). However if the teasing is coming from the best friends or even family of the targeted child, the message could end up being that if the people who are suppose to love the child actually hate the child, then child is unlovable. This can be especially heinous when the teasing is actually tolerated or even encouraged by the people around the child who would normally be expected to protect the child. As I teach this in my program, THE ART OF CALIBRATION PROGRAM: FROM CREEPY TO CHARISMA EBOOK: A key component if you are struggling to decide if something would be a harmless joke or if something may constitute a form of abuse or mistreatment is to ask one question: Would the person who is being targeted be laughing at the joke being played on him or her? If the answer is yes, then it is all in fun. If the person who is being targeted is not finding it as funny as the prankster, then it is abuse. At the heart of this question, is the question of consent. Would the person you are playing the joke on consent to it? If there is consent, it is a shared experience. When there is no consent, the joke can cross the line and become an act of violence or abuse (even name calling is an act of verbal abuse). To make it even more abundantly clear, if you are unable to accurately predict if the person you are targeting would fully consent, then take that as a sign not to pull the joke. The absence of consent is what makes it abuse. One question I have been asked is whether or not it is alright to make fun of someone, or laugh at someone, provided the person would never find out about it. If a person does not know he or she is being made fun of, then no feelings can be hurt, and would that make it OK? The answer is no. It does not matter if the person being made fun of, laughed at, or having a prank played upon them does not know it. It is still wrong. To use a relational analogy, it is still cheating if you have promised fidelity to someone, regardless if the other partner never finds out. Whether it is making fun of the introverted neighbors down the street, a celebrity on the Internet, strangers on Youtube videos, or the shy kid in class that does not know how to defend herself, having fun at someone's expense, even if they do not know about it, still does not change the fact that it is a hurtful act you knowingly commit. So before you play a joke or prank on someone you love (or a stranger for that matter), just stop. Especially if the person is a child, or simply does not like being made fun of. There are many ways to share an experience with someone you care about, and better ways for you to show that you care than poking fun at them. April Fools Day is not an excuse to be a bully. Frank Kermit P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Support People With Mental Health Challenges Who Have Been Bullied  Valentine's Day is OK to Be Single It's OK to be Single on Valentine's Day By Frank Kermit Valentine's Day can be a day of reflection for some people. A number of new relationships start on Valentine's day because some individuals mark the day to push themselves to take a chance asking out who they have adored secretly. Other relationships come to an end on Valentine's because as some reflect on their relationships on Valentine's, some do decide they would be better off without a relationship. However, in all the kafuffle, one particular group is either ignored, or possibly pitied on V-day: The Single People who go into V-day single and remain single. It is OK to be single on Valentine's Day. Single people do not need to be in a relationship to be happy, nor do they merit being felt sorry for. There are those people who are in fact, Happily Single! Many singles enjoy the freedom of single life, and have more than enough affection, friends, family and love. Being single does not mean being alone, celibate, nor in a state of relationship-envy. It is actually more than likely that many people, who feel "stuck" in an unhappy relationship, may actually envy the lifestyle of a seemingly carefree single. However, it is equally important for happily single people to remember not to tarnish Valentine's Day celebrations for those couples who wish to commemorate the day celebrating their togetherness. Promoting an anti-Valentine's Day attitude in the face of happy couples is just as unpleasant for the couples as it is for couples to make happily single people feel shame or guilt for "missing out on something". The best sentiment anyone can offer one another, whether single or a couple, is for people to celebrate what they are happy to be currently experiencing. Can Valentine's Day be classified as a "Hallmark Holiday"? Sure. Has the promotional marketing machine pushing Valentine's Day purchases, getting a tad too tasteless? Possibly. Can individuals who are coupled up be made to feel a pressure to perform some gigantic romantic feet of epic (budgetary) sweetness? I would say so. Can individuals who are single on Valentine's Day be made to feel excluded from the lovey-dovey frenzy? Yes, I believe it could. But it does not have to be that way. As human beings, we have the empowered right to choose how we react to outside factors. We can choose to take the commercial endeavors of the market in stride. We can choose how much or how little we celebrate V-day, if we choose to celebrate it at all (some people do not acknowledge Valentine's Day and elect to be loving, giving and romantic at random moments throughout the calendar year). We can choose how to celebrate Valentine's Day with a partner that has more to do with the spirit of the couple, instead of trying to outdo other members of our social circles. We can choose to acknowledge what Valentine's Day means to one person does not carry the same meaning for other people. We can choose to use Valentine's Day to celebrate our non-romantic connections to people (our family ties and our friendships). And for happily single people, we can choose to own and accept our single status and take pride in our passion and contributions to life. Happy Valentine's Day whatever you love Check out The Benefits of Frank Coaching and Sign Up! #feb14 #feb15 #february14 #feb14th #february14th #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #valentineday #vday #singlelife #single #singleawarenessday #sad #heartbroken #heartbreak #broken #hurt #imissyou #breakup #depressing #lovequotes #alone #hearts #heart #cupid #cupidsarrow #marriageproposalideas #marriageproposalfails #engagementseason #gethitched  Find Your Soulmate in 26 Hours  Starting Over after V-day? By Frank Kermit Valentine's day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to Valentine's Day as "V-day". Aside from being a day where romantically involved people are encouraged (expected? pressured?) to express their affections for one another, V-day is also a day of reflect, where people reassess their romantic relations (or lack thereof). If they are single, it reminds them of the pleasures that come with being with someone. If they are already attached, a re-evaluation is in order, which could lead to a break up and starting all over again, having to meet someone new, and go through the ups and downs (and the honeymoon phase) to the point where you get comfortable enough that when V-day strikes again, you see if your current relationship can survive the new re-evaluation. Any wonders why there is a growing trend of anti-Valentines day parties emerging to mark the day? For some, starting over may include deciding to actively pursue the end of their residence in the realm of Singledom. To make the firm decision that they will make whatever efforts are needed to put themselves out there, meet new people, become more socially calibrated, develop a little charisma and meet someone they can have a functional relationship with. It is not just about Starting Over from a previous relationship, it may very well be about completely Starting Over and learning to have a life with passion. For those of you starting over, here is something to keep in mind: One of the Frank Secrets of Success is that you do not wait to "feel like it" before you do it. You do it, whether or not you feel like it. That means if you have the choice of staying home or going out to meet people, you Get-Out-There even if you don't feel like going anywhere. Staying at home and feeling sorry for yourself will keep you at home feeling sorry for yourself. This could also mean to start letting your friends and family know that you are ready and open to meeting someone, and giving any potential partner introduced to you the opportunity of at least one date to sweep you off your feet, regardless if your first impression of that person is less than exciting. One date does not make a relationship, and the sooner you get out there and discover new people, the sooner you will meet a future soul mate. If the date goes nowhere, no worries! You got out there, likely learned something new about yourself and hopefully had a little fun in the process. I have had some bad V-days and some good V-days. The most horrible was the V-day that I lost one of my most serious long-term partners, which cut me deeply. However, one of the more intriguing V-days was the one that hosted my first venture into a Fetish Night Club. I was alone at the time (having my lover end it with me over the phone) and figured that I had a choice. I could stay home and sulk, or head out and try something new. So I made a firm choice to try something new and educated myself about a different lifestyle. Am I suggesting that you all go to a Fetish Night Club? Nope. What I am suggesting is that if there is something that you have been meaning to try, the transition period of starting over is a great time to try it. That does not mean you will automatically find what you are looking for. In fact, all you may find out is that those things that you thought you were interested in aren't really all that you had hoped. If nothing else it could be an exercise in the process of elimination about what you do and do not actually like. However, even that kind of process is still a step forward and it means that you will be a step closer to finding the real you. When you find the real you, then finding your relationship true, will be a result of paying your self-discovery dues. I wish you all an emotionally healthy V-day recovery! Check out The Benefits of Frank Coaching and Sign Up! @emotionalneeds #startingover #feb14 #feb15 #february14 #feb14th #february14th #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #valentineday #vday #singlelife #single #singleawarenessday #sad #heartbroken #heartbreak #broken #hurt #imissyou #breakup #depressing #lovequotes #alone #hearts #heart #cupid #cupidsarrow #marriageproposalideas #marriageproposalfails #engagementseason #gethitched #breakup #ghosted #dumped
 The Secret To Being Happy on Valentine's Day Single Or Not, Here Comes Valentine! How To Be Happy By Frank Kermit The secret to being happy on Valentine’s Day (V-day) is to be grateful for everything no matter what your situation. Being single should not be a reason to feel bad on V-day nor is the fact you are nursing a broken heart. If you are single, that means you are free to find love, and if you are nursing a broken heart it means you are learning a very important lesson in choosing the right person to date and will make sure to spot the red flags before choosing the wrong one again. No matter how bad you think you may have it, there is likely someone that wishes they could trade places with you. Are you miserably single? Well, someone who feels trapped in an unhappy relationship may gladly switch with you. Are you with a long-term spouse that no longer is attractive to you now that you finished raising our kids? Well, it might be paradise to someone that wishes they had chosen to get serious and have a family, to help squash the unbearable loneliness that creeps into old age. Are you only seeing your kid a few days a month? There is someone that had to hold a funeral for their kid and just wishes to be in your shoes. Everyone has problems, whether single or involved. Valentine’s Day does not fix what is broken in your life, nor does it automatically change your situation. It is nothing more than a day to recognize what you do have going on. If you aren’t happy, you can changes things if you really want to. But keep in mind that comparing yourself to what others have, or do not have, will never bring you peace, because behind every smile there is a story that you do not know. A happily single person may have had to go through some vicious life lessons to be content to be alone. That loving couple may have had to overcome adversity and worked through personalized therapy in order to be able to be fully present in that relationship. Be grateful for the love you had in the past, the love you may be experiencing now, and the love you will surely find in the future. No matter what your situation, you have a choice on what to focus on. By the way, never underestimate how attractive a positive attitude can be. Whether it is looking for love, employment or even a new opportunity to better your life, the people you interact with respond better, more often than not, to a person with a positive frame of mind. So if you are asking yourself, "How To Be Happy", now you know. It starts with your own attitude. Not waiting for something good to happen but having the right attitude to be happy, so you ready for when it does happen. Check out The Benefits Of Frank Coaching and Sign Up! @emotional needs #feb14 #feb15 #february14 #feb14th #february14th #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #valentineday #vday #singlelife #single #singleawarenessday #sad #heartbroken #heartbreak #broken #hurt #imissyou #breakup #depressing #lovequotes #alone #hearts #heart #cupid #cupidsarrow #marriageproposalideas #marriageproposalfails #engagementseason #gethitched  The Valentine's Day Collection Articles The Romance Formula How To Be Happy on Valentine's Day: Be Grateful No Sin Being Single On Valentine's Day (Single and Celebrating Valentines) Ok to Be Single on Valentine's Day Speed Dating on Valentine's Day Valentine's Day Top 10 Do and Don't List The 5 Extreme Effects of Valentine's Day Try a PolyDate on Valentine's Day? Starting Over on Valentine's Day How To Set Up a Singles Party on Valentine's Day Play the Insta-Date Game At Singles Events Play the Ready-For-Love Game at Singles Events Play the Charisma-Game at Singles Events Videos #feb14 #feb15 #february14 #feb14th #february14th #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #valentineday #vday #singlelife #single #singleawarenessday #sad #heartbroken #heartbreak #broken #hurt #imissyou #breakup #depressing #lovequotes #alone #hearts #heart #cupid #cupidsarrow #marriageproposalideas #marriageproposalfails #engagementseason #gethitched  No Sin In Being Single On Valentine's Day Single and Celebrating Valentine’s
By Frank Kermit It’s almost Valentine’s Day (V-Day), and you are single and that is OK. No, really. There is no sin to being single on any day of the year, V-day or not. This is no time for individuals to belittle themselves, just because the people in relationships around them get a reminder to celebrate being a couple. In fact, just because people are involved romantically, does not guarantee they are any happier than those people who are single and loving it. Do not get caught up in any marketing campaigns that are designed to make you feel less of a person just because you are in-between relationships, or that you find yourself more content just being on your own. Valentine’s Day is a great day to remind couples to appreciate each other and to give them an excuse to show each other affection. (With that said, it is important to point out that many breakups actually occur on V-day because that same reminder also points out to some couples they are better off single). Valentine’s Day is also a great day to celebrate your love for yourself, and to make yourself happy for a day as well. Being single on Valentine’s Day can be an adventure if you choose to make it such. Is there something you have been meaning to try, but never get around to doing it? Is there a new restaurant that you have been meaning to check out? A movie still in theaters you couldn’t get anyone to go see with you? A gift for yourself that you wanted to buy but felt it was not the right time to acquire it? Are there places you have been eagerly tempted to visit, but were waiting for the right person to attend with you, just to share in the possible taboo? Well, stop waiting. Do it today. Do it for yourself. Do it because you matter and you are worth it. You do not need to be seeing someone else to do all the things you held off doing. You are allowed to do it, now, today, being single, and just do it for you. You always have the power of choice. You can choose to let V-day get to you in the worse possible ways, and fall victim to the pity-party that has sparked so many Anti-Valentine’s Day sentiments…or you can choose to be happy for those who celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone they like, and be compassionate and nurturing to yourself, and make it a special “I love me” day, whether or not you are looking for someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with you next year. Celebrate you! Celebrate being single! Just because it is V-day does not mean you have to feel down about yourself in any respect. It is a time when you must appreciate everything you’ve got going in your life, and to be positive towards yourself, single or not. Check out the Benefits of Frank Coaching, and Sign Up |
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