Breaking up doesn't have to break you!
Learn 7 tips to help you rebuild your confidence after a break up.
The breakdown of a long-term relationship is never pleasant. Some relationships have a better ending than others, with agreement, mature decision making and amicable reasoning. Perhaps even lasting friendships. While others are messy. There’s arguments, custody battles, disagreements over money, property and possessions. Of course, there are also breakups that aren’t mutual. Where one part is shocked and considerably more hurt than the other.
However your relationship has ended; it’s a significant change. You have to get used to living your life without that person by your side. You might have to learn how to do things for yourself, and simply how to be alone. A messy breakup might also mean that you are dealing with feelings of hurt and anger. The emotions that we go through during a breakup are very similar to those of grief, and why shouldn’t they be? A part of your life is over, and it very much feels like something has died.
This can have a huge effect on your confidence, which can be even worse If you’ve been dumped. Feeling lost, and like you don’t know how to live alone can be terrible for your self-esteem. But, it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing to stop you coming out of a relationship strong, confident and eager to meet new challenges. Here are some tips to help you rebuild your confidence.
Get the Hard Stuff Out of the Way
Part of why breakups are so upsetting isn’t the breakup itself but all of the things that come with it. Hunter Perret talks about the difficulties of telling parents and in-laws. You might have to break the news to friends and even children. You might have to have difficult conversations about legal proceedings, dividing assets and other practicalities of moving on.
It can be tempting to put these problematic tasks off until you are feeling better. But, you’ll struggle to do that while they are hanging over you. Looming as something that needs to be done. Generally, the anxiety that we feel before we do something unpleasant is worse than actually doing it. So, make a list of what needs to be done and get on with it. Only then will you be free to heel and move forward.
Get Out of Bed
You might feel as though all you can do is hide under your duvet and cry, which once or twice is fine. A good cry can help you to exorcise some of your emotions and start to process. But, at some point, you need to draw a line under your wallowing and get out of bed. Set an alarm and leave your phone in another room so that you have to get up to turn it off. Then, start your day. Go to work if you need to. If not, head to the gym or into town for lunch. Getting out and about can be a huge mood boost, even if you have to force yourself to do it.
When you’ve been hurt by someone you love, you need a little TLC. Your friends and family might offer comfort and support, but if you want a confidence boost on top, spoiling yourself can be the answer. Treat yourself to some new clothes or a fancy lunch. Book an appointment at the salon or get a massage. Just spend some time watching your favorite TV show with snacks and drinks if that’s what makes you feel good.
Exercise is probably one of the best confidence boosts going. It helps you to feel as though you are taking control and doing something good for yourself. While also releasing serotonin and adrenaline which will improve your mood. Go for a run, head to the gym, take a class or just start going for walks once a day and you’ll soon start to feel good about yourself.
Take Care of Yourself
When you’re sad, it’s only too easy to neglect your needs. Are you eating well, getting plenty of sleep and spending time with your loved ones? If your relationship has been on the rocks for a while, it’s possible that your needs have been neglected for a long time. Start taking care of yourself, giving your body and mind what they need to stay healthy.
Find Out Who Single You Is
You won’t be the same person as you were when you first met your partner, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. But, you might not be who you were when you were with them either. Our hobbies and interests often change to fit with each other. So, take some time to learn more about who you are on your own. Try new hobbies, watch new TV shows, make new friends and think about what you enjoy doing.
Make a Plan
Making plans for your future can help you to see that you’ve got one. Plan a holiday, or write a list of places that you’d like to visit in the future. Set yourself fitness goals, or even book a big event like a race so that you’ve got something to build towards. It could also be a great time to tackle some jobs around the house, or even take on a big move. Start some DIY, and redecorating, to turn your home into your own.
It’s also a great time to focus on your career. Sit down with your manager, or set yourself some goals going forward. You might even want to make a five-year plan, or start planning something big like a career change or starting your own business.
While all of these things will help you to grow, and to become more confident, that doesn’t mean that you have to feel better straight away. Grieving for a relationship is ok. It’s alright to be sad, and it’s absolutely fine to have setbacks and sad days even when you are starting to feel better. Rebuild your confidence and find ways to help yourself to feel better, but don’t put pressure on yourself. If you feel sad, let yourself be sad. Just don’t let these negative feelings take over your life.
Read some tips to navigate the dating world, when you are ready to start dating after a divorce.
Are you struggling with your divorce? This can always be a difficult time in your life. It’s the end of a relationship that could have lasted years or even decades. There’s the possibility that you or your partner was unfaithful and failed to live up to the marriage vows that you swore to uphold. The truth is that it can be tremendously painful to start dating again after you have been through a divorce. So, how should you handle this decision?
Can You Fix It?
You can start by asking yourself this question. It’s worth exploring the possibility at the very least, particularly if you don’t think that you have tried every avenue. You’re going to be more inclined to do this if you have been with your partner for longer. The instinct will always be to try and save the relationship no matter what.
However, you might find that your partner does not feel the same way. If that’s the case, you have no choice but to respect their wishes. You can fight for the relationship a little but if you have already reached the D word there is one thing to keep in mind. It’s honestly probably for the best. People don’t race to the divorce line unless something has gone seriously wrong or the love simply isn’t there anymore.
Should You Tell The Person You’re Dating?
When you start dating again, you do need to think about whether you should tell the new person you’re seeing that you are either going through or you have just been through a divorce. That’s a tricky one because mentioning this might send the message that you are looking for a rebound. If that’s not what you’re after, you can spoil a lot of potential relationships this way. But if you don’t tell them, you can run into the issue of not remaining honest and starting off on the wrong foot.
In most cases, it is perhaps best, to be honest, but you don’t have to get them involved in the divorce process. Keep this separate until you are sure that the relationship is heading in a serious direction. It’s important not to fret too much about this. Mediate Buncombe have lots of happy stories about single partners that found love again after a rocky end.
Should You Try Online Dating?
If you are getting back on the field, you may want to consider exploring the online dating world. This isn’t for the faint of heart but there are certainly some nuggets of gold buried under the trash heap. You just need to make sure that you are not taking what people say completely at face value. Remember, the internet does allow fantastic possibilities for dating and it also provides a tool you can use to check people out. Find out whether they really are the manager of their own company or if they still live in their parent's basement. Not a fan of the digital dating realm? Not a problem, speed dating could be the perfect alternative and yes, it does still exist.
We hope this helps you navigate the dating world when you’re ready to move on from your divorce.
Explore some suggestions for a themed wedding in this creative post, and see if you can spot a theme you love!
So, you're planning your wedding, the biggest day of your life. You know you want 'something unique' and 'something special,' but you're not quite sure what that is. Remember, it's your day, and you shouldn't worry about what other people think or what they want. It's your day, and you should have it just how you want it.
Choosing a theme for your wedding can be a tricky task, but once you have decided, then the rest of the planning will stem from your idea and work around it, making all those decisions easy and a load of fun.
If you're not sure on what exactly a wedding theme is, it is an idea or a concept that flows throughout the whole of your big day. It can be simple as your favorite color or as specific as a favorite movie or decade. No matter what you choose to have as your theme, you don't want to overcomplicate it. You want your guests to recognize the theme; you also want them to understand that this theme is personal to you.
Ideas For Themes
Perhaps there's a decade that you love or a time period that means something to you, for example, Ancient Greece is a beautiful theme to have for a wedding; it's romantic, classy, elegant, and straightforward to do. Using plenty of grapes and gold strewn throughout your venue, you could even dress your ushers up like Spartans, and it'll be straightforward to find your perfect wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses to suit this theme.
You could opt for something a little more 'out there' and choose a movie-inspired theme, something like the Great Gatsby could work as not only does it combine one of the most memorable books and films, but it also includes all of the glitz and glamour of the 1920s. Just imagine the over-the-top vintage jewelry, the embellished ball gowns, and all the bling from your decorations.
You could choose for something inspired by TV...and perhaps a little less glamorous? A Game of Thrones themed wedding offers endless possibilities, from your tables, invitations, and any other decorations can be in the theme of the various "houses" of the realm complete with the color scheme and the emblems. The bride, groom, and guests can choose from a variety of leathers, furs, long flowing lace, and Celtic knot hairstyles. Oh – and you can get married in a castle too!
A Harry Potter theme is another easy one and could be a lot of fun too, with red napkins and tall candles defining the dining hall, the table names with the houses, and there's always a place for wands and golden snitches too.
If you are a big fan of something like Star Wars or Harry Potter, then you probably don't need much advice on how to plan a wedding in these themes. When it comes to Star Wars, there are loads of ideas from glow in the dark lightsabers hanging from the ceiling, the imperial march playing as you walk down the aisle, and dancing to the Cantina Song. You could even have the ushers directing your guests to the Dark or Light Side.
If you're more into your books than TV and movies, then a literary wedding could be the one for you. Celebrate your big day with themes from literature's most famous lovers such as Romeo & Juliet or Tristan & Isolde. Instead of the standard table runner, use pages from your favorite books, and ask your guests to come dressed as their favorite literary characters.
Music might be more your thing if so imagine a gorgeous traditional gown with some cowboy boots, and a denim jacket draped around your shoulders. Play some country music, have everyone up line dancing, and a food truck serving your guests their dinner? Sounds good.
A festival might be more your cup of tea or even a rock concert, and these themes give you loads of avenues to be creative. Print your tickets, post your lineup, and tell your guests to expect a lot of loud music, dancing, and light show. Add some vintage microphone decorations, a great pyrotechnics show, and swap cutting the cake with lighting a guitar on fire.
If you want your wedding to be an actual event, then go for it! Plan something that your guests will look forward to, something they can interact with and experience something like never before. Let your guests know what's to come and make sure they know that they'll need energy and enthusiasm to appreciate what's in store. Also, it' would be nice to give them suggestions and examples for outfits as well as a basic itinerary for the day so that they know how to pace themselves.
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