I arranged for ‘Pay As You Go Coaching’ with Frank Kermit, but I had never done phone coaching before, so I didn't know what to expect. Being an adult aged virgin, it is quite difficult finding someone you can easily talk to, and who will give you sound advice as well.
The phone coaching session with Frank Kermit was very enlightening. It began with Frank trying to pinpoint why I've been a virgin for so long. He then began to work with me to challenge the many ideas and concepts I believed about dating and relationships. I learned that there are factors involved in dating and relationships that I had not considered.
1 1/2 hours goes by very quickly when Frank Kermit is your coach! I got an excellent perspective on certain things, and I realize now what I have to do to better myself if I want to improve this part of my life.
Frank gives very direct, concise, advice which I feel many people can benefit from. He is also very articulate, and I strongly suggest that any adult should get in touch with him if they are having difficulties of any kind in their romantic life.
Once again Frank, thank you. I have learned something which I never would have learned from anyone else. It would have taken me years to learn this on my own.
-Review by Anonymous,
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
You have been a great source of inspiration for me man, probably more than I can tell you. Thank you very much. It's been an honor knowing you. Thanks man, really!
-Review by Omar Jay,
Thanks so much for working with me, you are VERY effective and have a lot of natural talent in this area. I really appreciate everything you do and look forward to working with you. Thanks for helping me discover the two 'issues' that have been holding me back my whole life. I have studied all forms of psychology and read and listened to a tremendous amount of self help books and audios.
I even dated a practicing Masters Degree Psychologist and had many talk and no one even mentioned the possibility of these problems. I'm very excited to discover and get these issues solved once and for are. You are truly, amazingly talented at what you do.
And it only took you 1-1/2 hours to discover these issues while it took me a lifetime to get to this point.
I'm looking forward to working with you and would encourage anyone, no matter what your problems are and no matter what their history is (Frank has heard it all) to give you a call and discover and work through their issues quickly and effectively in order to get a better life. Thank you so much Frank
-Review by Travis, Minnesota
Frank Kermit always has a refreshing way to bring people to reality. His advice are challenging but at the same time so coherent. He was patient, understanding, neutral (not taking sides) and his insights couldn't fit any better with the situation.
Thank you Frank for taking the time and put in the effort to help me sort my inner mess. I think everyone needs to at least have an hour talk with you. I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and your tips couldn't be more welcomed. Hope you touch other people's life's in the same positive way that you did.
Good luck for the future and looking forward to more books from you.
-Review by Alexandr B. in Montreal
What I learned with Frank's phone Consultation
Talking to Frank on the phone opened my eyes on what I need to work on. I pretty much asked straight up, why I'm not having any success with women despite all my months in trying. Frank asked me some questions and he pointed out a problem. He told me that I'm relying too much on improvisation for my dates and that at my stage of development, I should NOT be doing that.
In general my plan for a date is laid out, but it's still a skeleton and I rely on improvisation to get me through. Frank told me how I needed to plan out every detail of the date, especially for my stage of development because I cannot rely on being "natural." Frank gave me a really good idea, which is to go on a date with "myself" and see how the date would go out, what stories I'd tell, etc. Another thing Frank told me is that I'm talking about boring topics on my dates. Rather than being it about school or work (which is something that she can do with her girl friends), I should be talking about favorite places, best experiences and in general, stuff that addresses emotional needs.
What I liked about the consultation is Frank gave me an example of how he'd run the date to the venues that I used for my dates. He showed me how to use stories when I'm in a certain venue, what actions I need to take to lead the date. I occasionally use emotional needs addressing stories often, but Frank encouraged me to have a story after story after story.
I was satisfied with the phone consultation because Frank gave me a different perspective of what I needed to do and pinpointed my problems with my dating. With his advice, at least now I have an idea of what to do to improve my success with women.
-Review by Rocco, Toronto
I want to thank you for your great help yesterday. I finally opened my eyes. I had them close for awhile.
You made my world change in 90 minutes. Everything was a eye opening.
Me not leaving my apartment thinking I might find Mr right; that was wrong. I was to afraid to open up my sexually, thinking of what men would think of me.
Also you made me realize how my depression and anxiety was affecting my life.
I will be starting to see a therapist for it as you suggested. Thank you Frank!
-Review by Courtney A,
I had a phone consultation with Frank and we discussed a couple of important topics. First was the idea of giving a girl too much before she earned it, and her feeling like she owes something back to you at some point.
I told Frank about a story of a girl I was dating, and how I felt that at some point she should want to reciprocate but I always felt I was giving her more than she was giving back. I started to think, how I know when I should expect something of her in a relationship, and when I'm just being paranoid. This is part of relationship management after all.
Frank gave me a really great rule of thumb. You cannot expect anything from her, because when you expect things from others, you can only be disappointed. Instead, what I should be doing is expecting something from me. I can empower myself by expecting that I will stand up for my boundaries of wanting to be treated fairly and with respect, by communicating my standards and what I would like in return for doing something for the other person. This will avoid me feeling disappointing the other person didn't follow through on what I would like them to do, and instead give them clear indication of what I am looking for. At this point, Frank mentions it is still important you not expect them to get it done, but instead monitor them to see if they get it done. If they do, then you know they can be relied on to do that. If they cannot, you know clearly what you can and cannot get out of this person. This will help you in determining how far along your able to take any relationship.
Frank says, you must always keep this in mind: In any relationship, one person is going to always feel like they are giving more than the other. Equality in all things is an intellectual construct, and in real life it hardly works out that way. One person is always taking on more burden than the other, etc. It is OK if I am giving more than the other, as long as it's even somewhat equitable. If the other person is giving nothing and I give a car to them, then there is something wrong.
This brings up to the second point, how to figure out the same thing with friends, and not just lovers. It came out that it's the same rule applies, don't have expectations, and just communicate what it is you want clearly. The only time you screw up is by not expecting yourself to communicate what you are looking for in return. By being quiet, I am only hurting myself, building anger and frustration inside. I helped a friend move, and in return I should have communicated clearly that next time he goes to a party he invite me if he can. That would be an example of communicating my expectation for doing something. After that point, it's just about monitoring to see if that friend can follow through on what I asked. If not, then you know what you can get out of that person, and what you cannot, and you slot them accordingly.
Many thanks to Frank Kermit, I was really hopeless. However, I had a good meeting with him and we realized some points. I did not put enough effort. I worked on it from time to time. I got average results because I put in average efforts. I am not broken, I just have to work harder. So, nothing to worry about here.
I was always raised as a perfectionist by my family. Whenever I got 4 out of 5 in school, I was shown anger as a small example. So, the background I am coming from is not good. I have to learn to be independent and I have to stop perfectionism. I see myself as good environment( but not so good in terms of the way I was raised) but not good learning skills for social skills. So, I need to work hard. I worked less and I got average results until now. I did not put support myself in addition to events I attended. It is like going to school and not missing lessons but not putting effort yourself and expecting to get good results.
I was like a student who did not miss classes but who did not put enough effort. Problem is the issue inside me which sabotages every good thing I try to achieve since things I work on are never perfect. Thanks Kermit for helping me analyze my issues and now time to go back to trying to date women.
NO REASON TO QUIT, I JUST NEED TO WORK HARDER.
-S. M. from Turkey
Wow, what a session. He opened my eyes on quite the number of things.
I told him about a phone call I had with a girl. She gave me the "Why don't you do my homework for me and I'll paid you for it." I wanted to date her, not do her homework, so I tried to make a joke about it. I did not get the girl.
Not quite sure why, but that phone call ended with me feeling really off. Might be because I am starting to get uneasy with my usual type of jokes, as Frank suggested that I stop making jokes for the next 3 weeks since most of my jokes are emotional need violators (I do see his point). Problem is I'm way too used to being a smart-ass, so it will take me a bit to get used to not making any of my bad jokes
Another thing that Frank pointed out was how I have a fixated idea for how an amazing date is suppose to happen and that instead of following the plan in my head, I need to calibrate to the girl, which I found to be golden advice.
I had caught myself on how I violated a girl's trust emotional needs last night and Frank gave me some excellent advice on how to recover. I could go on and on on more of the details, but all-in-all, it was definitely an insanely informing and eye-opening session.
-Andy S., Toronto
Had a one-on-one session with Frank a few nights ago, and had some major revelations.
I'm still processing it so what I write here is a place holder which I'll fill in at another time, so if it doesn't make sense, it will be fleshed out in more detail at some point:
1. Major negative recurring life pattern identified - I went to Frank, after over-coming what I thought was the big one this week and I find out the main one that I can trace back all my previous interactions in my entire life. This is huge. Many times I've encountered sticking points and bad patterns, just recognizing them was enough to overcome them, or at least solve 50% of it. Knowing now what it is, I also know what needs to be done next.
2. One of the things I learned recently was that I must adopt a "softer touch", and Frank helped me take it to another level. So it's no longer just Strong Control, it's (as Frank called it) being assertive. Thank you Frank.
-Review by R. S.,
Toronto, Ontario Canada
Review: "Frank, It was nice meeting you and Thanks so much for all of your advice and guidance. It was helpful in many different levels.
First of all, I did not even know until you pointed out today that guys are looking for more clear and specific answers. and they want us to have a clear life plan. but that totally makes sense as we all have our busy lives and priorities and do not want to waste time with someone who is so unsure about their lives.
I really appreciated you giving me your personal experiences as examples which made me feel more comfortable to talk and open up with you thru this session.
Secondly, by you asking me all those questions, it really made me realize how unsure I am or how I have not even put myself at all to even think about them. I liked how you would suggest me to rephrase what I wanted to say in more clear and rational way. You also made me realized how important it is to speak clear with confidence and with eye contact.
Thirdly, It was refreshing to hear the male perspectives and opinions on dating. because we women sometime have no ideas and completely misunderstand things. I learned to be straight forward and need to indicate "the Hint”.
Overall, It was an amazing experience and I would love to get your help again. You were very “real”, got to the points and I learned a lot about what needs to be clear and changed. I will definitely work on my homework and go thru all the questions you have asked me. (ended up taking 8pages of notes!!!!)
-Review by Ms Regine, (Match-Making Client)
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
It was 80min of personal advice after personal advice. Heavy stuff and also very personal for me, so I'm not giving details. You need to prepare a lot to get full potential. Simply because Frank is able to address and give hints about everything there is to know about dating and relationships. You will not regret the money you spend.
I got so much "home work" that I still have not have time to incorporate all the advice Frank gave me. A special thing is when Frank placed a story inside my brain that really help me with my inner game and approaching girls.
Next time I will tape the conversation (if that it OK with Frank). Next time I will talk more about the good and bad stuff I do with girls and get Frank to boost it. His emotional needs analysis is gold, he just know that to say any girl at any time in any situation. Also I will address some more personal issues again.
Now I get why Frank gets the girls. He simply know how to understand them. It was worth every single penny.
-Review by M.M,
Review: Hi Frank, Thanks so much for your coaching, and also the information you have given me has proved invaluable. I now have begun dating the girl we were talking about. Your words, guidance, coaching have been so insightful and helpful and I can't thank you enough.
It's early days we're taking it slowly, I am determined to do this the right way and get off on a good start, we've spoken about boundaries, so things are moving along nicely. Look forward to having another session with you soon. (PS. congratulations on the increased media coverage you're now getting, I truly hope it continues to be an upward trajectory for you this year and beyond, you deserve it and we need more of you out there, Canada can't keep you to herself).
- Review by Barron S,
Review: My meeting with Frank was quite interesting, it helped me to clearly identify and pinpoint what went wrong in some particular relationship situation. Especially in knowing how to cater to the little girl inside her. This is really powerful, it will have a significant impact going forward. The other topic is to set expectations by establishing my life plan. Actually, I have one, but I wasn't really sure about sharing it or when to share. Basically the sooner is the better and again this is another powerful tool. There are few more adjustments that I'll do too in terms of complimenting my future girlfriend. I wasn't aware that those few things were so important for women.
-Review by Male Match Making Client
My first consultation with Frank Kermit was interesting. How was it interesting? I used Skype to contact him and we could see each other. It was close and personal and Frank made me feel comfortable.
We didn't waste time. Frank got right to it: What am I looking for? And he told me what I had to do....right away. I have now bought 2 books "Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test" and "The Emotional Needs Workbook" to get the ball rolling.
After my first consult with Frank I have a clearer picture of what I need to do to get the results I want. It feels great to be on the path and realize I have a lot of changing to do.
Thank you Frank!
-Review by Lou P.,
I have read your reviews. I have even read some of your philosophies. I would like to know where all these men are that have read your books? I am currently living in Virginia and all I have ever met is losers. I even married a few of those losers. Can I meet one of your male readers please?
-Review by Angel M.
SHOCK AND AWE IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT
Today has to be the most important day in my development. It all started when I spent a total of about 4 hours with Frank. The stuff was amazing and I could already see the mind transformation in my own personal time with Frank I did not believe it possible to pack so much value in so little time (or so it seemed).
We started with him describing a bit of his past as he developed as a man and specifically the 5 year dry spell. I was curious some of the reasons that had lead to that. I got a clear understanding of where he was coming from as a man and some of the motivations that have lead him to success with women and dating. It was truly amazing. If you want to know the details I would recommend you buy his autobiography "from loser to seducer", it's out of this world.
We also discussed some of the reasons why attraction may not be maintained in a relationship once it is started. This was especially important to me because having come from a different background studying with other coaches where the focus is on attraction I have had the experience of attracting girls but not turning the opportunities into potential relationships. It is all about having long term value and meeting her emotional needs consistently.
For someone who is thinking logically answers for these kinds of questions will be hard to come by. Most of the time you will be like "ahhh I don't know." The answers will give you the meaning of who you are and why you do things. Answering these questions will mean you will have to think emotionally. It was like I was in direct connection with my subconscious that describes me completely.
-Review by Romeo,
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
A review of a lecture Frank gave in Montreal
Wow, what an amazing speech, views and person,
First impression upon seeing Frank for the first time: WTF, that guy won't ever get laid, even less talk about meeting women, not even in a million years. Why the f*** is everybody looking up to him? Intriguing.
Then the magic started (he opened his mouth) and the vibe in the room changed.
Started talking about how hard it was for him (obviously). Even my stupid question trying to make fun of his clothes ("What's with the shorts?") got turned around into something interesting and a nice debate started.
Amazing how patience, assertiveness and how interesting he is gets projected through his speech. Made about 30 people fall in love with his thinking and ideas. The "beware guru's advice" was just amazing. The pimp story, incredible. It satisfied our "emotional needs".
What a crude and refreshing reality check at the end, about nobody really being friends in the room and his role to actually make money, over the making friends. An honest, openhearted, sensitive hours of pure gold pieces.
The interaction was great and actually taking time to let the people express themselves in a ordinate way.
I will go through some of Frank's books soon. It's great to pay for something that you believe in.
JUST FOUND KRYPTONITE to keep dangerous gold-digger women away from me. THANK YOU FRANK
-Review by Wolfy
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Book Introduction by Leonard Irwin for FrankTalks Articles Volume 3: Monogamy and Non-Monogamy Edition
The first time Frank and I spoke on a coaching call was over 12 years ago (cir 2004).
It wound turn out to be a turning point in my life.
It was the age of the self improvement. With so many to choose from, Frank’s body of work spoke the loudest to me. Transforming himself from a Loser to Seducer was the story I wanted to experience for myself too!
In our first conversation Frank’s tone spoke was in a matter-of-fact, honest, and forth-rightly style. Saying it like it was, and calling me out on things no one had ever said to me.
It was exactly what I wanted at that time in my life!
Frank was the first person in my life to speak honestly with intent to see me get better. Before him, anytime someone tried to point out what was wrong with me I got my back up. With Frank there was never any need to feel defensive. Something about the man immediately put me at ease.
His experiences were something, I could understand. It was like talking to someone who had gotten a copy of your life story. He too had been in those same trenches with me. He came out the other side a better man. Frank shares stories that inspire others because he’d been there too. From those early coaching calls our friendship developed.
When it came time to find someone Frank was there. In the early days of meeting the woman, who eventually became my wife, Frank was there to give me guidance along the way. When problems arose I sought his counsel. He in turned asked questions that cleared my mind to see what I really wanted from a woman.
My wife and I have been together since 2010. I can say that the relationship we have together is directly attributed to those telephone-coaching calls over 12 years ago. Frank has been there over our years together in helping our relationship through some troubled waters. As in any relationship rough times will avail itself. Yet having someone like Frank in your corner guides you to smoother waters.
I highly endorse ANY of Franks works. They are truly life changing!
–Review by Leonard Irwin,
Spiritual Medium and Mental Toughness Coach www.leonardirwin.com
FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
HELPING PEOPLE CONNECT
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