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Understanding Each Others' Financial Priorities Is Essential In A Relationship

2/20/2024

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Talking about money can be tough. Some people find it really easy to be open and honest about their spending, what they earn, and generally talk about money like it’s no big deal. Other people struggle a little more with this, and that’s okay. However, you do need to have a conversation with your partner about their financial priorities if your relationship is serious. This is so that you can better understand each other, and work on your goals together. We’re going to be taking a look at some of the general priorities that people have to give you a good idea where to start. Keep reading down below if you would like to find out more.
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You do need to have a conversation with your partner about their financial priorities if your relationship is serious.
Big Purchases

The first priority that people tend to have are big purchases. Big purchases can be tough to make, which is why some people make them their priority. They want to know all that they can about how to get the best deals on big purchases, the financing options, how much they are going to need and so on. Generally you find that if this is the priority of your partner, it’s because they are looking to buy a house or a car.

There are sites like edmunds that you can use to get information on purchasing the best possible car for your needs, and whatever other information that you need. It’s important that you try to support your partner however you can with this, because these purchases are important to a lot of people.

Savings

Another priority that people have is saving. Saving is important for a whole load of reasons such as to make sure that you are protected if anything goes wrong. It’s important to have some money in the bank for a rainy day so that you are not panicking if things start to take a turn for the worse.

Saving can be tricky though, and a lot of people really struggle with this. If your partner prioritizes saving and you’re not the best at it, then you either need to learn or have a conversation about it. It’s important to be honest, or else you could both end up resenting each other.

Luxury Spending

The final thing that we’re going to mention is luxury spending. Some people don’t want to save for big purchases and they don’t want to save for the future, they want to spend their money on the luxuries that they want in life. Again, there is nothing wrong with this as long as you are open and honest about it. People with different priorities financially can still have a healthy, strong relationship, as long as there is communication.

We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now see why it’s important for you to understand your partner’s financial priorities. We’re not saying that these won’t change as you get older, or as life throws different things at you, but for the sake of your relationship, you have got to make sure that you know this about your partner.
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Is Financial Anxiety Affecting your Relationship? Here's What You Can Do

1/30/2024

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Do you feel as though your mental health isn’t as good as it could be, because of debt? Maybe you feel as though you have a lot going on at home, and want to get back on the right track. Either way, if you suspect your mental health is suffering, it probably is. If you want to make a change, all you have to do is take a look below.
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Sleep Better

One of the first things you can do if you feel as though your mental health is suffering is take the time to sleep better. Oversleeping is just as bad as not getting enough sleep, so make sure that you're getting a solid 7-8 hours a night and then force yourself out of bed. If you are in a bad sleep pattern because you feel as though you need to nap during the day, or because you just can’t doze off at night, it may be that you don’t have the right sleeping environment. One way to work around this would be for you to reestablish your nighttime routine. Take a bath, or even read a book before bed. It may be worth using CBD oil as this could help you unwind.

Deal with the Source

Another thing you can do is try and deal with the source of your anxiety. Everyone gets anxious or stressed from time to time, but if you feel as though financial anxiety is impacting your life, you need to get to the root of the issue. Symptoms may include heart palpitations, a racing mind and shortness of breath. If you want to help yourself, talk it out, visit your doctor or try a natural method to bring your mental state down a notch. This is often the first step to being able to cope with your symptoms. When you’re calmer, it’s easier to deal with the financial worry, with a clearer mindset.

Eat a Good Diet

It’s so important that you eat a good diet. If your diet isn’t good enough then this will make it much harder for you to be healthy. Remember, a healthy body equals a healthy mind. If you want to stop from binge eating then remove all food like this from your home. When you have done that, you can focus on eliminating sugar where possible and boosting mental health in general. This is a great starting point and it may even have an impact on physical anxiety as blood sugar will be way more stable. 

Stop Isolating Yourself

If you struggle with a lot of financial anxiety, one thing to do is stop isolating yourself from your partner. You need to connect with friends and family too. Get out and make sure that you keep pushing yourself. This is easier said than done if you don’t have much of a social battery, but with that being said, it is so important to stop shutting away and to get out there so you can meet new people and socialise. 
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3 Great Ways To Look After Your Sexual Health

12/11/2023

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When most people think of taking care of their health, their physical and mental health will be what comes to mind. While it’s always worth putting effort into these, they’re not the only ones you should think of.

You should also look after your sexual health.

It’s an essential part of being intimate while also keeping yourself as healthy as possible. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be complicated. With a little bit of effort, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.
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Looking After Your Sexual Health Doesn't Have To Be Complicated

​Look After Your Sexual Health: 3 Top Tips


1. Be Open With Your Partner

If you have a partner, then you should be open with them about your sexual health. It’s also worth expecting the same in return. Sexual history, potential conditions, and other factors should play a role in this conversation. Then there’s expectations, proper communication, and other factors to consider.

The more open and transparent you are with your partner, the better you can look after your sexual health. That’s especially true when the topic turns to protection and similar factors. You’ve no reason not to sit down with your partner and actually talk to them about everything.

2. Be Safe With Experimentation

Speaking of talking to your partner, you could end up talking about experimenting. That’s a natural part of almost every relationship. You could be looking into toys for men, for example. As natural as this is, make sure you keep safety in mind when you’re doing this.

Go slowly with your experimentation, and you shouldn’t have to worry about anything. Knowing best practices and similar information makes sure nothing happens to make your sexual health suffer. Be as informed as possible, and you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Like most things, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

3. Get Tested Regularly

While this tip relates to your overall health in general, too, it can still refer to your sexual health. It’s worth making sure you’re as healthy as possible, which means getting a few specific tests done. That’s especially true if you notice something isn’t the way it should be.

Thankfully, these tests are quick and painless, so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. On the off-chance something comes up, you’ll be put on a treatment and it’ll be taken care of faster than you’d think. You’ve no reason not to spend a little bit of time on this.

Look After Your Sexual Health: Wrapping Up

You need to look after your sexual health, especially when you have a partner. While many people think this is complicated, it doesn’t have to be. It can be easier than you’d think. You’ll simply need to focus on a few notable areas, many of which are easier to get through than you’d think.

Your health is multifaceted, and you’ll need to look after quite a few things to look after it. Alongside your sexual health, put the effort into your physical and mental health, too. Taking a holistic approach makes sure you’re as healthy as possible.

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4 Reasons All Couples Must Focus On Their Finances Together

10/2/2023

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man and woman washing dishes
Too Many Couples Never Talk About Money With One Another
Being in a long-term relationship means you share things with your partner. You may share the same house, use the same car, share an Amazon password, and so on. Much of your life together is joined, yet there’s one element that’s often left in the dark. 

The topic of personal finances is a touchy subject for many couples. Even those in happy relationships may go silent when it’s time to talk about money. Fundamentally, the problem stems from the idea of joint finances. Every other aspect of your life is joined together, but many couples still have separate finances. 

On the one hand, you can see how this makes sense. Both of you may earn a living, so you want to keep your income separate. However, the longer you’re with someone, the sillier it seems to keep things apart. Couples should focus on their finances together, rather than keeping everything separate. You may be worried about this idea, but there are some clear reasons why it makes a lot of sense. 

In this guide, we’ll explore why couples should join their finances together and the benefits this can bring to you and your relationship.
Encourages open conversations about money

Too many couples will never talk about money with one another. As mentioned before, it’s a touchy subject. Some people don’t want to talk about what they’re spending money on or how much they’re saving. When this happens, you can build invisible barriers between one another. There’s a lack of openness that may not cause problems right now, but it can later down the line. 

Couples who pool their money together will have a more open relationship. When both of you share an account and put money in it, it’s only natural to have conversations about your finances. 

This is really advantageous as it helps you both get on the same page. You can talk about your outgoings for the month and notice that you’re spending way too much in some areas. If you want to save money for a big purchase, you can look at your joint account and talk to one another about the best ways to budget going forward. 

Money stops being this hidden thing that neither of you speaks about and starts becoming a normal topic. The improved communication and openness won’t just lead to better financial control, it’ll also lead to better relationships. 

Prevents financial resentment

One of the main reasons couples break up is thanks to financial resentment. One partner resents the other because of certain financial decisions or money-related issues. Ironically, the most common occurrence is in heterosexual relationships when the female partner earns more money than the male one. 

Here, the man starts to resent his partner because he feels slightly emasculated. While we could take a deep dive into fragile masculinity and how society has trained men to believe they need to be the “breadwinner” we’ll leave it at that for a moment! Financial resentment is more common when your finances are separate because you may feel like your partner is splashing the cash all the time. You or they become jealous, which puts a strain on your relationship. 

When couples focus on their finances together, financial resentment doesn’t exist. You go from both having your own finances to sharing them together. Everyone is equal and you can both use the money as one. It completely removes the idea of resentment, giving your relationship one less thing to worry about.
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Financial Resentment Can Cause Couples To Break Up

Stops bad financial decisions and the debt spiral

Bad financial decisions are easier to make when you’ve got your own stash of money. It’s in your account, so you feel less worried about doing something potentially dangerous. You have no issues maxing out your credit card because your partner doesn’t need to know about it. 

Sadly, this leads to more bad decisions and you end up in a terrible debt spiral. You owe more money every month and it’s impossible to get out of. Debt is a terrible thing that can ruin your life and put a massive strain on your mental health. Many people have ended up in a depression rehab center as a direct result of bad financial decisions and debt. How does this change when you approach your finances together? 

You’re both less likely to make bad financial decisions when you have joint ownership of an account. You may share a credit card, meaning you have to take more care when spending money. Instead of doing impulsive things, you talk to your partner first. Your partner also sees what you’re spending when you share your finances together, so they can talk to you about certain purchases or decisions. 

In essence, the added responsibility makes you think twice about things. You no longer feel like you can do something because it only affects you. Instead, you start recognizing that other people are affected, so you cut down on the bad financial decisions. As a result, there will be less debt in your relationship and the pair of you can make smarter financial choices together. 

Helps you achieve financial goals faster

Couples who share their finances and have joint accounts will achieve their goals a lot faster than others. It’s down to a combination of things, many of which we’ve already touched upon. 

Having better and more open communication will lead to better financial decisions. As such, you can work on creating a better budget together and saving more money. This enables you to reach saving targets quicker - perhaps you can get a downpayment for a mortgage loan a lot faster than expected. 

Moreover, combining your finances means you will have more money in your accounts. This will let you take advantage of interest rates to earn more money. If your money is separate, you will earn less interest as there’s less money in each account. Pooled together, you earn more money even at the same rate. The same goes for joint investments; instead of only being able to invest $5,000 in something, you can combine money with your partner to double that and see greater returns. 

Your natural human reaction to money is that you should keep yours separate. You spent your life earning a living, so you’re worried about sharing that with someone else. For the good of your relationship - and your financial future - it makes a lot of sense to start focusing on finances together. Combine your wealth; you share everything else, so why should this be any different?
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4 Common Obstacles To Sustaining A Healthy Relationship

8/12/2023

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Relationships are a common aspect of life and can benefit one’s well-being in many ways, whether dating, marriage or even friendship. However, these relationships can either succeed or fail, with research revealing that 70% of couples break up in the first year of their relationship. In comparison, 41% of all first marriages end in divorce. So what makes it hard to maintain or sustain a relationship? Of course, each relationship is unique, with different issues and personalities. But regardless of these problems, some common challenges or obstacles are present in most relationships, including those outlined below
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Some Common Challenges Are Present In Most Relationships
  1. ​Changing priorities

Change is part of the growth process, sometimes with a shift in priorities or life goals. As individuals grow, they begin to evolve, and certain things no longer hold priority in their lives. For example, someone may lose interest in a career and seek a new challenge. Some may also seek new personal interests or create new social circles. Regardless of the type of change, a priority shift can make it difficult to sustain a relationship. In most cases, this change can lead to unintentionally neglecting your partner, especially when you feel you’ve outgrown them. This situation creates a disconnection and eventually leads to a break in the relationship.

        2. A lack of intimacy 

A recent study shows that as many as 40 million Americans in romantic relationships are not physically intimate. Several factors account for this, ranging from a lack of interest to a lack of time. Some also deal with pornography and other forms of addiction, affecting their desire to be physically intimate. In such cases, it’s important to find ways to stop pornography or break free from addiction. Of course, intimacy isn't always physical, as it also encompasses emotional, intellectual, and even spiritual connections. Finding bonding activities can help deal with a lack of intimacy that isn’t physical. 

       3.Financial strain

Many prioritize love and affection, but money is also key in any relationship. Money matters or finances are some main reasons couples fall off. But a lack of money isn’t the only issue. Sometimes disagreements on many-related issues, purchases, and other finance-related decisions like prenups have caused separations in many relationships. Also, differing attitudes towards money can strain relationships. Financial difficulties only amplify existing problems, although they can create new ones. 

     4.Incompatible values

Incompatible values can happen on two levels. The first can be an extension of changing priorities, as mentioned earlier. When people outgrow their partners, they sometimes have a value shift that breeds division in the relationship. The second can happen even before the relationship starts. Religious beliefs, political affiliations, or attitudes toward family can cause couples to grow apart. Many feel that such issues are surmountable at the beginning of the relationship because the love is still strong. As a result, most couples fail to address them properly, and these issues later lead to recurring disagreements in the relationship as some partners begin to feel they are not being understood. 
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6 Tips for Building a Stronger and Healthier Relationship

5/4/2023

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If you want to make sure that your relationship is as strong and as healthy as possible then you are not alone. So many people are in the same position as you are, but by taking the right steps, you can be sure to benefit both you and your partner.
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Get to Know Yourself

Take the time to appreciate yourself and also get in touch with your emotions. This is one of the best ways for you to express yourself in a way that is clear and effective. Not knowing how to regulate your emotions, or even how to express them in a way that is healthy will impact your well-being more than you realize.

Put in the Work

A healthy relationship has to have willingness and commitment. You have to be accommodating to one another’s needs and you also need to try. A lot of relationships fail because people simply stop making an effort, but all of this can be avoided if you simply take the time to know your partner and the needs that they have, so make sure that you are mindful of that.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is not only about what you don’t want, or don’t like. It’s about letting the people around you know what it is you appreciate. Think about your partner and understand their boundaries. It also helps to communicate your own. If you do this then you can stop yourself from trying to commit to something that you may find unrealistic.

Talk and Listen

Every single relationship out there comes with a series of disagreements, and this is fine. That being said, what matters is how you talk and how you listen. Make sure that you listen to understand, as opposed to listening to respond. This is a great way for you to make sure that your communication is always as open as possible, which is the key to a healthy relationship. If you feel as though you have had a bit of a communication breakdown in your relationship then it could be wise for you to try and price up divorces and whether or not it is time to separate.

Let Go

Knowing that you are only ever able to control what you do, and not what other people do, is the best way for you to save yourself time and stress. Don’t try to control everything your partner does and make yourself accountable for your actions. If you can do this, then you will soon find that things work in your favour and that you are able to support a long, happy and healthy relationship.

Reflect and Learn

If you have a very healthy way of being able to express your feelings then you are going to be able to react to others in a way that is healthy. If you are angry with someone then there is a high chance that this is coming from a place of hurt. If you can recognize this and if you can communicate it then this will help you to build your relationship.
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How to Proactively Approach the End of a Relationship to Come Out Stronger

5/26/2022

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The end of a relationship can make you feel like you're out of control. Even if you're the one to initiate it, ending a relationship means that a lot of things in your life can change. You might make the decision to end the relationship, but a lot of other changes can come along with it that you don't necessarily want to plan for.

You can take control at the end of a relationship, whether you initiate it, your partner does, or it's a mutual breakup. By taking a proactive and pragmatic approach, you can plan to come out stronger. That doesn't mean you have to shut away your feelings or pretend it's not affecting you. In fact, it can make it easier to face your emotions, as well as some of the practical changes. Here's how you can be proactive when your relationship is ending.

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Think About Practical Issues When Making A Plan
Make a Plan

You can feel pretty unmoored when your relationship ends. You're used to your life being a certain way and now it's going to change. The first thing you can do to try and get control and minimize the impact of your breakup is make a plan. There are several things you might need to plan to help yourself prepare. If you're leaving together, what happens next? Is one of you moving out and if so, who? If you're moving out, where will you go? If your ex is moving out, how will you cover the bills? Thinking about practical issues like this will help you to get ready.

Book Some Therapy Sessions


Even if you're taking a practical and proactive approach to handling a breakup or divorce, you don't have to ignore your feelings. Pushing away your emotions isn't going to help you in the long run and it will most likely all come back to bite you eventually. If you want to be really proactive, consider booking some therapy sessions to help you process everything. It will give you space to talk about how you're feeling and what to do next. You might even find that seeing a therapist is useful for other things too and decide to continue.

Get Your Legal Ducks in a Row


The end of a relationship can mean dealing with legal matters, even if you're not married. If you are married, you might need to start looking for a divorce attorney to help you with the process. Not every divorce requires lawyers, but they are definitely helpful if you and your spouse can't agree on the terms of the divorce. If you're not married, you could still have legal issues surrounding child custody, shared property, or other matters that come with entangling your life with someone else's.

Create a New Routine


One of the most noticeable things about the end of a relationship is how your routine changes. Suddenly, someone who has been in your life is no longer there. Many things can change, from where you live to what your bedtime routine is like. Creating a new routine for yourself can help you to get back into the swing of things if you feel like you've been thrown off-kilter. You might need to find new ways to fill your evenings or build a routine that works better for you as a single person.

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Build A Routine That Works Better For You As A Single Person

​Spend Time with Yourself


Learning to be alone again can be tough if you've been in a relationship for a long time or you're a serial monogamist. Some people aren't used to being single and can struggle to be on their own. But instead of jumping straight into another relationship, it's a good idea to spend time with yourself. When you have some alone time or even allow yourself to be with friends and family more instead of looking for a new relationship, you can learn new things about yourself. You can get comfortable with being single so, even if you want a new relationship, you don't feel like you need one.

Learn from Your Mistakes

The end of a relationship can give you the chance to look forward to a better future. One of the things you can do is try to learn from your past mistakes before you start a new relationship. What were the things that went wrong? What did you always regret or wish was different? Avoiding the same mistakes could help you to find a relationship that's better than your last one.

It can take time to process the end of a relationship, but taking action as soon as you can is a good way to come out of it a stronger person.
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How to Open Yourself Up to More Intimacy

12/24/2021

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Relationships, whether with a long-term partner or casual hook-ups, can take a lot of work, and a lot of it can be about trial and error. Opening up for more intimacy could mean trying things you’ve never done, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, or making extra effort for the people you care about in order to help relationships succeed.
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If you think your potential for intimacy is lacking, whether because you have limited experience or because you currently have a partner who has flagged up the issue, the following ideas can help.
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Increasing Intimacy Could Mean Trying Things You've Never Done Before

​What is Intimacy?


The most obvious example of intimacy is sexual, in which you open yourself up to more physical touch and physical closeness. Nevertheless, intimacy can also be about general closeness with another person through time spent together, as well as emotional intimacy where you learn more about another person or reveal more personal details about yourself.

All levels of intimacy are important for a successful and loving relationship, but not everyone finds intimacy easy to give or receive.

How to Open Yourself Up to More Intimacy
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Decide What Intimacy Means to You

In the same way that people have different love languages, the way in which you show intimacy could be different from others. You may find it very intimate to hold hands, and that might be a big step for you, whereas other people might take that for granted. Spending time to get to know your own intimacy levels will help you to communicate better with your current partner or any future partners if you’re looking to start dating.

Schedule Moments of Intimacy

This may sound less than exciting if you have to schedule sex or closeness with your partner, but if you’re finding that intimacy is lacking because of busy schedules, making an appointment to stick to may be the only way to reconnect. If you can set aside a day or an evening in your busy schedules to devote to intimacy, this can help you to reconnect. Often, if you’re relying on times when you’re both not busy or not tired, it can become neglected and continually get pushed back.

Try to Experiment with Different People

You can learn a lot about yourself, what you like and what you don’t like by being intimate with different people, so if you’re single and looking to start dating or connect with more people, experimenting can be a good idea. You may want to try casual dating to test your feelings regarding intimacy, or maybe you want to try a professional escort service such as Playgirls London to put yourself in a dating situation and try connecting with someone on a deeper level.

Take it One Step at a Time

Intimacy can be very overwhelming if you’re not used to being vulnerable and if you try to do too much at once. Taking small steps could include having a deeper conversation, trying to spend longer touching, letting yourself be vulnerable more and more, over a course of time or anything else you’d like to work on that you can take at your own pace.
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5 Success Secrets Of Happily-Aging Couples

12/21/2021

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Every couple goes through ups and downs as these are a part of life. It does not matter how many years they have been in a relationship. It is how perfectly they have been taking care of their partnership. They can have some inspiring secrets to show you the way to stick together as you come of age. Take lessons from these happily-aging couples and try to find your way to a stronger bond. Here are the best secrets of happily-aging couples for an enduring relationship.
older couple sitting holding hands
Respect and Mutual Understanding are Essential For A Solid Relationship


They embrace changes happily



In reality, a successful marriage is one in which both the partners respect each other and embrace the changes happily. These could be physical, financial, or emotional changes. They take time to learn and understand each other’s goals, plans and dreams for a better tomorrow. Respect and mutual understanding between mature partners are the two main pillars that bind them together in a lasting bond. 


They fight fairly
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Who does not fight in a relationship? Happy couples also have a fair share of fights and arguments. But the ego does not have a place in a strong relationship. Happy aging couples settle everything calmly and do not let anything affect their bond. True power is in discussing and knowing the differences between the two. So, it is important to let go of personal ego and focus on saving the relationship.


They find new ways to play


Getting stuck in the same boring routine may affect the relationship as it ages. Successful couples find ways to ignite excitement and love over the years. They experiment in bed to keep monotony at bay. Using a real whizzinator XXX is a great idea to spice up your bedroom life. Many happy couples rely on it to keep the spark alive. Just hit the right pleasure points and reduce the hard work!


They remain physically connected


Age is just a number when it comes to relationships. Staying connected physically enables partners to thrive over the years. They always find ways to kiss, hug, and touch to create intimacy in their bond. They are happy because they combat and face the emotional and physical challenges and still maintain a connection. In simple words, demonstrations of affection and love never go out of style.


They welcome the challenges of aging


A strong partnership is one where both partners accept the challenges of aging as they come. They know the vulnerability that comes with each passing year. But, they remain with each other and talk about health and the future. These mature partners are ready to face the future with courage and love. These qualities make a relationship more beautiful and rock-solid. 


Love is not a matter of sheer luck. Much more goes into a strong partnership. Building it requires unconditional honesty, togetherness, and trust. Create a balance and try new things to keep the attraction growing over the years. You will not have to worry about drifting apart with these easy relationship secrets of happily aging couples who have been together forever. 
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Reasons The Intimacy Has Gone In Your Relationship

11/15/2021

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If the fire has gone from your relationship, you may be worried that this means your relationship is coming to an end. Or, you may simply assume that this is a natural progression that starts to happen when we get older. However, it does not need to be this way. While a lot of couples can reach a point where the intimacy stops, there is often a valid reason for this. With that being said, we’re going to take a look at some of the different reasons why the intimacy may end in a relationship.
couple lying in bed
There Are Many Reasons Why Intimacy Stops In Relationships
  • Exhaustion - This is one of the main reasons why a lot of couples stop having fun in the bedroom. We all lead very busy lives in this day and age, and they seem to be getting more and more hectic all of the time. Between taking care of children and working, sex ends up being very low on the list of priorities. If you do not have any energy left, it is going to be a lot harder to have sex. 
  • Being afraid of what you or your partner may say - You may have reached a point whereby you are scared about revealing your desires or you are scared that your partner’s desires may not match up with your own or that they may not find you attractive anymore. Whether you want to add some sex toys and natural personal lubricant to the mix, or you want to try something even more adventurous, you won’t know how your partner is going to respond to this until you bring it up with them.
  • Discomfort during sex - This can be applicable to anyone but it tends to be more common in females as they get older. A lot of women are concerned with pain during sex and dryness. However, rather than discussing this or getting to the bottom of this, they simply decide to start avoiding sex altogether. However, you should not be embarrassed. Book an appointment with your gynaecologist. 
  • Not feeling good about your body - Last but not least, your body might have changed. Maybe you’ve put on some weight or you’re feeling unhappy about getting older. No matter what the reason may be, hardly anyone who feels negative about their body wants to get naked, especially if they feel like their partner has seen them looking a lot better. However, you will often find that this issue is one that is more in your head rather than being something that your partner cares about.

As you can see, there are a lot of different reasons why couples start to lose intimacy in their relationship. However, this does not mean that it is lost forever. The first place to start is by understanding why the intimacy stopped, to begin with. Once you understand this, you can then start to take the steps that are required to get the fire back into your life.
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How Your Love Life Affects Your Health

10/27/2021

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So many of our feelings and emotions are linked to our health; it’s incredible when you know how everything you are thinking of can have an actual, physical impact on your body – and vice versa. It makes sense, then, that your relationship status and how you feel about that can also determine how you feel when it comes to your health. 
 
You can feel it happening. Love gives us a natural, physical reaction that includes a quickened heart rate, dilated pupils, ‘butterflies’ in the stomach, sweaty palms, and it can even make it hard to speak or find the right words to say. 
 
Studies have shown that those in a committed, happy relationship tend to be healthier (and even live longer) than those who are single. Yet it’s not quite as simple as that. There are many things that go into how your love life affects your health.
man and woman in bed
Studies Show That Those In A Committed, Happy Relationship Tend To Be Healthier
Your Weight 

If you’ve ever noticed that you put on a little (or perhaps a lot) of weight once you are in a stable relationship, there could be a good reason for it. Once you are happy with someone and comfortable with your body around them, many will stop trying quite so hard to keep fit, and the weight will start to gain. So, although putting on weight might be a sign of a happy relationship, it’s not good for your health. 
 
If you find that you and your partner have become heavier since moving in together or marrying, for example, you can do something about it. Using that same partnership that allowed the weight to come in the first place, you can go out and exercise together, join the same gym, or even attend the same class. If you set weight loss goals as a couple, losing the weight should be easier than trying to do it separately. 
 
Your Stress Levels

 
People who have sex regularly are a lot less stressed than those who don’t. That’s because sex reduces your blood pressure levels by increasing the level of serotonin (the happy hormone) and reducing the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. That gives you a good balance of the right kinds of hormones, and you’ll feel fantastic; you won’t feel stressed. 
 
The more often you have sex, the better you’ll be able to react when it comes to stressful situations, and you’ll be a much calmer person in general. This is why being compatible in bed is actually more important than many people realize. If you feel that this is an issue, it might be time to shake things up. You can learn about Wild Flower’s pursuit of genderless toys leads to The Enby 2, and start a new exciting chapter in your sex life. 
 
Your Sleep
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Getting the right amount of sleep each night is essential for your good health. Sleeping well for around seven to eight hours a night will help you to lose weight, make you more productive, lower your blood pressure, protect you from heart disease and heart attacks, reduce your chances of stroke and type II diabetes, and even stop some cancers from forming (although other factors will, of course, come into play here). 
 
When you sleep next to someone you totally trust and really love, you will sleep better because you will be more relaxed. Of course, if your partner keeps stealing the covers or snores, then it might not be the most relaxing sleep you have ever had, but if this is the case, there are ways to fix the issues, such as using a tool that keeps the covers in place and wearing earplugs. 
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Building Healthy Relationships: Tips for Connecting With Your Fiancé

8/13/2021

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The first time you met your fiance, it was love at first sight. You knew this person was the one for you. But as years pass and life gets busy, it's easy to forget about that feeling of excitement when you think about spending time with them. It might seem like they don't understand what is important to you or that they are not invested in your relationship anymore. But, the truth is, sometimes relationships need work just like anything else does. So, here are tips on how to build healthy relationships with your fiance.
couple cooking together
Continue To Show Your Appreciation


Show Appreciation

You can show your fiance appreciation in several ways. Consider these: 
  • Complimenting their cooking or other housekeeping skills.
  • Offering to help with chores around the home, such as getting the mail or doing dishes. 
  • Gifting them a meaningful present such as a claddagh ring - the meaning of a claddagh ring symbolizes love and loyalty, which is integral in all relationships.
  • Standing up for your partner when others criticize them. People who have strong relationships stand by each other's side no matter what anyone says about them, good or bad!
  • Offering to do something they like or are good at. There are many things your partner might enjoy that they could use help with, such as fixing a computer problem, practicing guitar chords or tackling the garden together.
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Invest in Trust


Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendships or with your family - trust becomes the foundation of everything else you do in life and can make even difficult situations more manageable. But how does one build this necessary element? 

The first step to building trust in any relationship is to have shared values. This includes having similar beliefs about marriage, children and money, taking care of each other, always being honest and understanding what each partner needs.

The second step is to establish a level of comfort, which you can do by taking small steps together, such as: creating an environment where you can express yourselves, learning how each other's triggers work and being open about personal struggles.

Communicate

Communication is an integral part of any healthy relationship. There are many ways to communicate, and you should choose the method that best fits your personality or lifestyle. It needs to be a two-way conversation with active listening on both parties. 

The goal in communication is not just sharing information but building mutual understanding, so try to avoid becoming defensive when discussing problems. 

For love and commitment between couples to grow stronger over time, communication needs to remain open at all times—not just in good times but even more importantly, through struggles or difficulties. 

Spend Quality Time Together

Spending time together is an essential ingredient for a healthy relationship. So take time to have fun together and not just when it's convenient or necessary. For example, try to schedule regular date nights, even if you can't make them every week.

Use your creativity! The point of dating is figuring out who someone is and seeing what they like outside of their comfortable environs. So get creative with new and exciting dates that allow you to learn more about each other.

One example that you won’t need to leave the house for is gaming. You can play online games together. This is just about finding a genre that you both enjoy whether that’s shooting games, racing or perhaps problem solving games. Right now, couples are having fun playing on Wordle together in friendly rivalries so there are countless options here.
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Conclusion

In conclusion, building healthy relationships is about more than just following the steps above - it's also about finding what works best for each person to feel happy, safe and respected.

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When Things Go Wrong In Relationships, Do This

4/15/2021

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Every relationship stumbles at some point. Continue reading to learn 5 proactive ways you can help your relationship.

Believe it or not, there is no such thing as “the perfect relationship." So things can and will go wrong from time to time. 

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do proactively to fix the situation so you don’t experience a full-blown breakdown. Let’s take a look, shall we?
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Be Responsible
man and woman holding paper heart
Think Before You Speak


Being “responsible” doesn’t mean having the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time. It just means being “responsive” - that is, putting a filter between your unconscious reaction to situations and what you actually say and do. 

For example, let’s say that you’re a person in the habit of getting into shouting matches with your partner. It happens. But being responsible or responsive would mean avoiding any raised voices and just expressing yourself naturally. Ultimately, it’s about letting go of yourself a little and allowing things to develop more organically. 

Create Some Space

When I was looking for a divorce attorney near me, the main motivation was surprising. People don’t split up because they want to get away from each other completely. That rarely happens. What they want is a little more space - the freedom to stretch their legs and enjoy themselves uninhibited. They want to preserve a part of themselves that’s outside of the relationship.

Creating space, therefore, is essential. Space isn’t the same as distance. But if you find yourself having the same conversations over and over, you might want to try spending some time apart, just enjoying other things in the world. You don’t have to be joined at the hip the whole time. 

Take Time To Cool Off
man and woman riding bikes
You Don't Have To Be Joined At The Hip ~ Take Some Time For Yourself

You can sometimes
get angry in a relationship, particularly when you feel like your partner isn’t meeting your needs in the way they should. Instead of getting confrontational and saying something you’ll regret, go and cool off somewhere.

Once you calm down, you can think about the situation more rationally. That way, you can consider the best needs of the partner while also finding a solution that works for you both. 

Say Things More Gently

It’s not just what we say that matters, but also how we say it. You can have two conversations with identical content, but how they feel emotionally can differ tremendously. If you’re shouting at each other about your frustrations, it is going to create a different atmosphere compared to just talking about them. 

Being gentle with your partner is the same as being kind to them. The people you love don’t want you to handle them aggressively. They want you to know them. And that means understanding how to deal with them delicately in a way that is appropriate for them. 

Be More Value-Driven

Lastly, you might want to try being more value-driven in your relationship. Sometimes, you can feel let down by your partner if they aren’t being truthful. Talk to them about the things that matter to you, such as support, honesty,  commitment and consideration. Find out how they relate to these ideas and which, if any, are important to them.  

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Are You Really Ready For A Serious Relationship?

4/5/2021

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Relationships are not like in the movies, where everything falls into place perfectly. Continue reading to learn 4 important key points you need to have before you enter a serious relationship.
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You might want one, you might crave one, you might feel all kinds of sad and bad for not being in one. However, if you’re not ready for a serious relationship, then you shouldn’t be willing to try and jump headfirst into one. You need to take the time to identify what it means to be and make sure you tick all boxes.
man and woman holding hands
A Partner Should Be A Great Support and Addition, Not A Necessity

Don’t be on the rebound

If you’ve just been through a tough breakup, it might be tempting to try and fill the hole that someone else’s companionship, company, and affection used to be in. However, trying to pigeon someone into that hole is going to end disastrously. You need time to get okay with being alone again so that a partner can be a great support and addition, rather than a necessity. Take the time to build up your confidence again and be okay with being you. This doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun out there, but don’t go looking for the next big thing immediately.

Be self-reliant

You need to make sure that you’re not in a position to become entirely reliant on someone else right away. It’s an easy way to get stuck in a one-sided relationship in which abusive or co-dependent dynamics can easily form. If you don’t have a stable place to live, make that your first priority. If you’re not working, sign up and get verified for job boards. If you don’t have any friends, work on having them first. Don’t isolate yourself, leaving yourself vulnerable to those who might take advantage.

Make sure you have room for them

We all live increasingly atomised lives, meaning that a lot of us haven’t really gotten very good at making time for people in our community. If you find that a lot of your time is taken up by solo pursuits, you should look into starting hobbies that you can take part in with others and, in general, try to spend some more of your time with other people. A lot of people who spend most of their time alone can be surprised how annoying it can feel to have demands on their time and attention, even if that’s exactly what they asked for. You need to make room for others.

Be ready to change

A lot of people want a more serious relationship because they want the deeper intimacy and the connection that comes with it. However, we are formed by those relationships and if you’re ready and willing to change for the sake of it, it is not going to work out in the long-term Recognize your strengths and your weaknesses, come to terms with the difficulties you have and start working on them now.

Of course, there’s no real, formal checklist that determines whether or not you’re ready for a real relationship. But you should at least try to make sure you have your own ducks in a row before jumping into a long-term commitment with someone else.

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Making Your Relationship Work: Working Hard For The One You Love

2/18/2021

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Relationships take continued work. Keep reading to learn 3 tips that can help you keep the spark alive. 
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One of the biggest issues that relationships have is that one or both of the people involved stop working hard for the other person. We’re not talking about your career, but your relationship. Yes, relationships take work, and if you’re not willing to do this, then it’s going to fall apart. It can’t be sunshine and rainbows all the time, and on the days where it isn’t, you’re going to need to work a little bit harder. In this article, we’re going to be taking a look at some of the things that you should be doing, so keep reading if you would like to find out more.
couple holding love balloons
Take Your Partner On Dates Like You Did Before

​Put In The Effort

The first thing that you should be doing is putting the effort in. There is nothing worse than receiving absolutely no effort from your partner, as it makes you feel unwanted. Feeling unwanted makes the other person doubt the relationship, and in serious cases can lead to divorce solicitors if you’re married. We know that you don’t want it to get to this point, so don’t let it. Do you remember those little things that you used to do at the start of the relationship? Keep doing them. Flirt with your partner. Write them little notes to open so that they know how much they mean to you. Take them on dates like you did when you were getting to know each other.

Nothing that we have mentioned is particularly difficult or even takes up that much time, so if you’re not doing them, why not? One of the most important things in a relationship is effort, and if nobody, or only one person is doing this, it is going to fall apart.

Keep The Trust Alive
man holding womans hand as she looks forward
Keep The Trust Alive


​The next thing that you are going to need to do is keep the trust alive. There is no way that you can continue to be in a relationship when there is no trust, either on one side or both. You cannot live your life wondering what your partner is doing behind your back as this is no way to live. You need to be able to trust each other, and know that no matter what, you are the one they want. If the trust is broken and you think it can be rebuilt, then do it. But, if it can’t, then know when to let go.

Talk To Each Other

Finally, communication is necessary to make any kind of relationship work, especially romantic ones. You need to talk about how you are feeling, and let your partner do the same without judgement or resentment. Everyone’s feelings are valid, and that’s what you’ve got to keep in mind, even if you disagree. 

We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you are going to need to do in order to work hard for your relationship. There is nothing worse than losing the one you love because you weren’t willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work, so you need to do whatever it takes. Hopefully this has helped, and you now know how to make the effort.
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8 Romantic and Thoughtful Ways to Surprise Your Partner

11/20/2020

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Here are 8  romantic gift ideas to surprise your other half with this year and for years to come.
gift boxes with ribbon
A Romantic Surprise Can Renew Your Relationship

A romantic surprise can renew your relationship, especially when it comes from the bottom of your heart. You may even fall in love all over again if you are at the receiving end of a big surprise. The good news is that surprises don't have to be expensive at all. But if you can afford them, there's nothing wrong with wowing your significant other with a priceless gift. If you want to reignite that spark in your love life, here are some sure-fire surprise ideas for your other half.


1. Remind them with a note that you care for them


If minimalism is your hallmark, go with something that's less costly yet meaningful. A simple creative gesture of love could take the form of a note to your partner, reminding them that they are always on your mind. Everyone wants to feel loved, isn’t it? You can renew the passion for your relationship by leaving an unexpected sweet note for your partner. It could be anywhere, say at the coffee table or maybe when you go for a date night. Fun surprises such as love notes can change the game of your relationship.


2. Write your partner a love letter


Putting your feelings for your partner on paper may sound old-fashioned, but believe it or not, handwritten love letters can constitute huge romantic surprises even in this digital age. According to Babita Spinell, a seasoned relationship expert, writing a love letter to your dearest one is a cool way to validate your affection for them. When a couple is experiencing rocky moments in their relationship, a love letter could also bridge the gap. 


3. Take them out for a romantic trip


The coronavirus pandemic has impacted the world's tourism industry. However, if you want to still work on your couple goals, you could mask up and embark on a romantic trip. Since international travel restrictions may still be in force, you may want to opt for an outdoor adventure such as camping. Sweep your partner off their feet by planning a beautiful romantic trip with them. You may want to keep the trip as simple as possible; elaborate plans could fail in the midst of the pandemic. 


4. Take your partner on a shopping spree


If your significant other has been talking about wanting new clothes, consider taking them out for shopping. Since shopping clothes for your partner when you don't know their sizes can be tricky, you may want them to go with you to the shop. Your girlfriend/boyfriend will probably see you as their best shopping assistant. Offer your feedback as they try new clothes, and your partner will likely find the best clothes.


5. Shower your partner with Valentine's Day flowers


With 2021 and Valentine's Day up in the air, you may want to surprise your other half with gifts such as flowers. It helps if you know which flowers are her favourite - whether tulips, sunflowers or roses. To stay safe from the virus and melt your partner's heart, you could order Fig & Bloom flowers for Valentine's Day. They can make bespoke floral arrangements that will pleasantly surprise our partner, and your thoughtfulness can help strengthen your relationship. 


6. Offer them a full-body massage


You don't have to be a licensed massage therapist before you can calm down your partner with a soothing full-body massage. In these troubling times of the pandemic, it's easy for partners to stress out. A massage therapy can enhance your partner's life by reducing their stress, strengthening their immune system and improving blood circulation. Assuming you want to make the massage experience even greater for your other half, you could call in an expert therapist.


7. Buy them a ticket to a show


Is your partner a music lover, a sports fanatic, or a big fan of comedy? Buy them a ticket to their favorite show, and it will be nothing short of a big surprise. When festive seasons like New Year's Eve come around the corner, attending live events with your partner can be fun. Entertainment programs can also educate couples and help them realize their relationship goals.


8. Buy them beer and wine


If your boyfriend or girlfriend loves drinks that much, consider buying their favorite beer or wine. You may have to visit nearby breweries in your zone to have that wonderful couple time. For partners who may not want to step out, you could still order your beer and wine from home.


Romantic surprises have healing powers; incorporate them into your relationship and have a good time with your partner.

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Bonding Activities That Will Make Your Relationship Stronger

8/27/2020

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Do not be lazy when it comes to your relationships. Plan and schedule these suggested bonding activities to make you closer than ever.
hands making heart symbol
Plan Activities You Can Do Together

​Relationships are a beautiful thing. They provide you with a sense of belongingness and comfort that you have someone that you can always count on. However, when a relationship is stable, it is easy to get confident and complacent. Soon enough, you are falling into predictable routines that can lead to complacency.

Before you find yourself in a relationship death trap, take action. You can do many things as a couple to bring back the palpable excitement that you used to feel in the early years of your relationship. Push yourself to push the envelope and stop being lazy with your relationship.
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From experiencing a new country to taking piano lessons together, here are some activities that can help strengthen your relationship.


1. Travel together to a new place.

Traveling together to places you have never been before creates a sense of excitement that refreshes your relationship. It allows you to explore and experience new things together. Studies show that couples who travel are more satisfied with their relationship. The memories of experiencing something new together creates a lasting and beautiful mark in both of you. You will forever treasure and look back into these shared memories with fondness and love.

There is also the romance and the spontaneity of traveling to a new place that makes it healthy for relationships. You both live in the moment, without worrying about work, the bills, and your responsibilities.

2. Learn something new.

Awaken your curiosities together and learn a new skill or hobby. Enroll in classes together. When you discover and learn something new, it brings you closer together. The process of learning, from that moment of vulnerability to the building of your confidence, can help strengthen your bond. Here are some classes or workshops that you can both take. Not only will learning something new keep the spark between you, but it can also help in your personal development.

Yoga Classes. Yoga encourages you to be mindful, allowing you to keep in touch with your emotions. It is also great for your mental and physical health. It's a great exercise that both of you can enjoy.

Piano Lessons. Connect to your artistic side and bring out the prodigy in you. Learning to play a new musical instrument is a fun way to awaken the eager child in you. You can also choose to learn different musical instruments.Something is rewarding about being able to play your favorite songs on a musical instrument. Who knows, come holiday get-togethers, you both can play a musical number for your family.

Foreign Language Class. Learning a new language is fun, and it is something that both of you can use when you travel in the future. Choose a language that you have always found fascinating. Learning to speak French and Spanish can come in handy for your next European tour.

Train for a Marathon. If a marathon seems too much, a fun run will do. Sign up for a community-run and train together. Achieving your goals together can make you feel more united as a couple.

Ballroom Dancing. Do you love the movie Dirty Dancing? Even if you are not a good dancer, you can still enjoy the benefits that dancing brings. Ballroom dancing encourages teamwork between you because you have to learn the dance together. Impress everyone in the next family event that you go to with your smooth dancing moves.
concert
Dance With Your Partner At A Concert

​3. Attend concerts of your favorite artists.

Do you remember the feeling of watching your favorite singer live? The sounds and the atmosphere enveloping you, making the hair on your skin stand. There's a good reason why people are willing to pay hundreds of dollars to watch a live concert. It's that sense of being in the now, with the beat of the drums in chorus with your wildly beating heart that makes live concerts such an enjoyable experience. Aside from the fact that you will see your idol live in the flesh, people mostly pay for the experience and feeling that live concerts bring. Now imagine feeling that with your partner. Dancing and swaying to the music together can bring you closer and can help reduce stress.

4. Treat yourselves.

Relax and recharge together regularly. Go to a spa for a massage that you can enjoy side by side. You will both feel better and more relaxed, setting the mood for a more stress-free time together. Most spa packages come with a dinner course that you can enjoy after some relaxing massages and therapies. You can enjoy each other's company while in a lighter mood, savoring the food together, talking about anything that comes into your mind.

Maintaining a relationship requires work. However, it does not have to be hard. Make time for these bonding activities, and watch your relationship revive its old sparkle.
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Relationship Advice: The Pros And Cons Of Looking To Others

7/21/2019

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Looking for relationship advice? Consider all of your options before you move forward. Read this post to discover some pros and cons to asking for help.
man and woman sitting on steps
Find Balance When Asking For Advice



When you’re in a rut, there’s a temptation to look to others for advice. People who have been through the same thing and have relationship experience can enlighten you on how to proceed. Of course, asking others for help is also very dangerous. There is no way to tell if their words are helpful or harmful until you’ve put them into practice, and then it might be too late. You need to find the perfect balance between making your own decisions and following the path well-trodden, and the best way to understand the pros and cons.


Here are two each to consider when you start experiencing relationship troubles.

Pro: They Can Empathize

A shoulder to cry on is always a nice feeling because it’s healthy to vent. However, couples who have been through the same thing can empathize, and that’s worth its weight in gold. Sometimes, there are generic things you need to do to get your relationship back on track, and they can talk you through them. Plus, there will be caveats that they figured out along the way which should come in handy. Without the need to stumble through in the dark and grope around, you can avoid saying and doing irreparable things.

Con: People Aren’t Transparent

Sadly, too many couples like to show off and make out as if they are the gold standard of love when they are in as much trouble. They shouldn’t throw stones from their glasshouse, yet they do - stones of hypocritical love. And, they do this while attending marriage counseling classes and trying to repair their damaged relationship. There is nothing wrong with giving advice, but it should be truthful and in the proper context. Otherwise, you might make the same mistake and end up in the same boat on a very dodgy looking creek.

Pro: They Want The Best For You

Often, the people we turn to for advice are the ones we love. It’s not like you’re going to stop a stranger on the street and ask their opinion. As a result, you know that everything you hear comes from the heart. They love you and want to help you be happy, which is why there is nothing untoward. Thinking with your head is the best policy, yet, sometimes, the heart has to rule over everything. To see it in real-time might inspire an epiphany which goes on to save your relationship.

Con: They’re Not Experts

The flip side of the coin is this: they amateurs. Sure, they’ve been in a successful relationship for years, but they have never stopped to analyze it. As a result, they don’t know the forensic details like a marriage counselor with qualifications and years of experience. A piece of good advice is only helpful when the process is on point as you might try and apply it to areas of your relationship where it isn’t applicable.

Listening to advice from others is comforting because it proves you’re not alone. Still, it’s essential to understand the limits of your confiders and seek professional help too.

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How To Be More Positively Assertive In Your Relationship

4/29/2019

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Your opinion matters. Read more to learn how to make sure your voice is heard in your relationship.
wedding couple sitting by water
Both Voices Need To Be Heard To Make A Relationship Work

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​While relationships are a place to love that person and share life with them, they can run on power dynamics over time. There’s usually one person who takes charge, or who is meant to at least. Sometimes, it’s a pure democracy. Ideally, both are assertive in their own manner, and is willing to discuss anything with the other person. This is why people often say ‘opposites attract,’ because if you imagine two puzzle pieces fitting together snugly, you need one person of a certain shape to best connect to someone of another.


However, it might be that despite being an assertive person, you usually err too much on the side of the ‘democratic ideal’ whenever you’re connected to someone in this manner. It might be that learning techniques to be more ‘positively assertive,’ can be more than worthwhile, and help the relationship flourish once more. We’re not talking of the need to boss the other around, because that will only breed animosity. Rather, it’s important to consider how you could be more playful, decide more things, and perhaps actualize yourself more in the relationship instead of letting the other do all the work.

Here’s what that might look like:

A Token Of Appreciation

Words can often be a great idea when trying to communicate your love, but often, actions speak louder. A token of appreciation could be many things, but for the most part, it is best embodied in gifts and experiences. For example, check out Tacori’s limited edition jewelry collection to ensure your partner feels amazing during their upcoming birthday celebrations. Something handcrafted can often work brilliantly too, as it emphasizes someone willing and ready to work on the love you both share. Simply giving a gift, sometimes at random, sometimes in a targeted fashion can show you’re always willing to win their approval and know that even after marriage, sweeping them off their feet is never a finished thing.

Your Decisions

Often, the worst thing to say is ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ It might be that your partner is tired of choosing where you eat, what movie you see, or what you do for the evening. Being a little more assertive and actually more truthful to that you wish to do can help you take charge, and that’s exciting for the other person. After all, they want to know what helps you enjoy life, and they wish to share your personality. If you leave everything up to them, you’ll struggle to make any progress at all.

Don’t Skirt Around Topics

It can often be quite easy to just jump around topics and sweep them under the rug. But actually, being more assertive means tackling them head-on. Perhaps your partner embarrassed you in front of their friends, and you wish to let them know you don’t appreciate that. Perhaps you are tired of always doing something their way. Perhaps you want them to help out more around the house. If you bottle feelings, you’re just going to have them explode out later in an unhealthy manner. To this end, you might find yourself worried. It’s always best to just communicate well. This way, bad relationships will end and good relationships will bloom.

With these tips, you’re sure to be more positively assertive in your relationships.

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Could You Be A Part Of A Toxic Relationship?

12/21/2018

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Are you in a possible toxic relationship?
Are you looking to help someone who is in a toxic relationship? What is a toxic relationship?
​Learn more in this contributed post.
abuse words man woman
Have Faith In Your Own Self-Awareness

The compulsion to explore whether you’re in a toxic relationship could be due to; your own perception of your relationship or your concern over someone else's, the suggestion by another that you are in a bad relationship without your awareness, or even the thought that you may be the perpetrator, the victim or that both of you in the relationship are accomplices in being abusive to one another. This post sets the foundation for how we can stop violence against women and men, by gaining an understanding of how we interpret toxic relationships, identifying some of the common mechanisms of an abusive relationship, to having faith in your own self-awareness and taking steps to prevent, stop abuse or leave a relationship entirely.


How Do We Determine A Toxic Relationship?

For a person to define a relationship as healthy or toxic, is for a person to judge based on their own morals, values, beliefs and their acceptance of the law that governs their state to determine what is proper behavior and actions in a relationship and what is wrong. However, no two peoples beliefs, values, upbringing and experience of seeing and being in relationships are exactly the same. Furthermore, toxicity doesn’t arrive wrapped in the same packaging for everyone to define it as something that’s immediately obvious. It creeps up in all shapes and forms, sometimes unnoticed such as the gaslighting effect, manipulation, and mind games other times tragically obvious, such as forcing substance misuse, murdering or raping of a partner. In other cases, it’s difficult for someone who is prone to being the victim, to see that they might also contribute in being abusive themselves. For some of the signs that distinguish whether you may be involved in a bad relationship, preview the next section.


Common Traits Of Toxic Relationships

Part of this post is to explore beyond the us and them view, “they are the abusers, and I am the victim,” it’s also to create a sense of self-awareness on whether we may unknowingly actually be abusive ourselves. By previewing the signs below, this may trigger whether you may be the culprit, accomplice or victim of a toxic relationship.


  • Consistent critical judgment - a partner who puts you down regularly knowingly or unknowingly, which makes you lose confidence, doubt yourself and might make you change yourself.
  • Dishonesty - lack of trust between partners, whether with merit due to an event that has left you to distrust another or without any cause at all.
  • Control - emotionally or physically controlling aspects of your life without invitation or approval. Such as the clothes you wear, the food you eat, your finances, what you can and can’t do or say, where you can and can’t go. Control can appear in the form of threats to prevent you from exhibiting certain behavior or actions. Bouts of pleasant behavior may trick you into believing your partner means you no harm and implements controlling behavior to “protect” you.
  • Physical harm - fear or apprehension caused intentionally or recklessly by hurting another on their body. Cutting someone's hair is also physical harm if you have not been permitted by the person to do it.
  • Gaslighting effect - a slow, unnoticeable process of brainwashing, a method of manipulation used gradually by lying, confusing the victim, calling the other crazy, making them doubt what is real (a method used in cults, for example, the Charles Manson murders). It may be difficult to recognize if you’re a victim of gaslighting.

This is a non-exhaustive list of how abuse might occur between two people.

Self Awareness In Relationships

With the above mentioned it may be difficult to define whether some of these situations you have endured could be interpreted as abuse, or you may convince yourself that although some of the above mentioned may have happened in your relationship, that they’re not severe and won’t lead to any other toxic behavior. When we’re in a relationship, it’s difficult for us to see things objectively. Moreover, when we’re outside of a relationship, we may fail to see the whole picture and what actually occurs behind doors. However, if you feel you may be inflicting or have inflicted harm on someone else you can seek professional help to prevent violence in your relationship and any issues escalating into irreparable damage that could affect you or another person both physically and psychologically. Never doubt your feelings if you think you are being mistreated, or that you are hurting someone close to you. Your emotions and gut instinct will give you an indication that something isn’t right in your relationship. To prevent falling victim to or being part of the abusive pattern in your relationships, there are preventative measures that can be taken.

Don’t make way for abusive behavior by consciously pushing your moral boundaries back to allow for abuse. Don’t discount your feelings towards abuse as unimportant. Don’t fall into an oblivion of believing normalized abuse portrayed by the media on tv, films and social media is what love entails. Protect yourself as you would your own children, be protective of your mind and body and seek family, friends and professional support from organizations such as https://www.thehotline.org/help/ to enable you to take steps to solve or end your relationship problems. More than anything, don’t wait and hope it won’t happen again.

​
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How to Be More Confident in Your Relationship

12/14/2018

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Are you lacking confidence in relationships?
​ Read 5 tips that can help you be more confident in this contributed post.
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Being Confident In Yourself Helps Your Relationship

Being self-confident in a relationship is not always easy, especially if you have been hurt in one before. Being self-confident can improve a relationship though as well as being better for your overall well being. Life throws enough stresses at us without you worry about the state of your relationship.


Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

No one will make you feel more worthless than you. You should value your own worth, as this will make you feel and look better.  If it helps, have a new hairstyle or change the color of your hair. Anything that helps you feel more confident is good. It is very easy to be your own worst enemy and that has to stop right now!

Be An Individual

You should not let yourself become an extension of your partner. You are an individual with your own dreams and aspirations. People who have lived on their own for a while are often better at this because they are used to considering just themselves. Although no one would ever suggest you should be selfish, you do sometimes have to put yourself first.

It can be great if you have a shared interest, but it is also good to have an interest of your own. Apart from keeping you mixing with other people, it is something else for the pair of you to discuss.

You should also make sure you stay in touch with friends that you knew before you met your partner. It may well be that they socialize with both of you, but you should still have an occasional evening for just you and your friends.


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Take Time To Have Fun Together
Self-Disclosure

Tell your partner a secret about yourself that no one else knows. Sharing secrets or things you are ashamed of from your past can help to establish a feeling of intimacy between you. Self-disclosure can help to build your confidence in each other. For instance, if in the past a sex therapist has helped you over a problem, or you once dated someone who turned out to be a drug taker and you almost got involved in them too, your partner will be pleased that your problems were solved and that you have the confidence in them to be honest about your past.

Don’t Settle For Second Best

Do not let your self-esteem drop so low that you put up with someone who is constantly criticizing you and does not show you any respect. Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for them behaving in this way. You deserve better than this, so don’t settle for second best. Walk away from the relationship, as there is no doubt that someone better will come along one day. Yes, it can be hard, but it will benefit you both in the long-term.


Have Fun

Make sure you have fun together sometimes at least. Laughing together is a great help for any relationship, and yours will be no different. It could be at a film you are watching or maybe playing some sort of game. Having a fun element in any relationship is vitally important if it is to succeed.


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Is It Worth Fixing A Broken Relationship?

11/21/2018

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Is it worth fixing a broken relationship? There are some specific things you need to know first. Read more in this contributed post.
​

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Relationships Require Effort

Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. Despite promising intentions at the start, when love rules and the other person is seen through rose-tinted glasses, there will be problems that set in. Petty arguments will arise. Resentments will surface. Habits will start to grate. And the once blossoming relationship may start to wilt. That's not the end of the relationship, of course.

With effort, conversation, and the attempt to recapture the love that was present early on, a relationship can be solidified. It can be repaired before further damage sets in. However, if little effort is expended, on either side, then the relationship will start to suffer, and may eventually become broken. Where once there was love and friendship, there will now be animosity. And if this is compounded by certain behaviours such as unfaithfulness and abuse, then the relationship is probably over.

So, is it worth trying to fix a broken relationship? Yes and no.

The relationship may have to end if…

- One or both people in the relationship is abusive to the other.
- There is a lack of repentance about wrong behaviour.
-Resentments continue to fester with no attempts to communicate them
- One or both people continue to be unfaithful.
- There are signs that there is no longer love in the relationship.

Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it is the right thing to do, even in a marriage. Divorce firms, such as The Vendt Law Firm, are probably the best port of call. We say 'probably' because we don't want to talk about ending a relationship where there is still hope. However, sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that yes, the chances of the relationship recovering are slim to none. When the relationship is toxic because of yourself or that other person, then saying goodbye may be the answer.

On the other hand, if there are signs that the relationship can be mended, then every effort needs to be taken.

The relationship can be mended if…

- Love hasn't gone away, and there is still a longing to be together.
- Promises have been broken, but attempts have been made to repent and start again.
- Previous hardships in the relationship have been overcome successfully.
- It's difficult to imagine a life without the other person being present.
- There is still genuine affection for the other person, despite the struggles.

If any of the signs mentioned are still relevant, then there is still a chance. Love can overcome the obstacles in the way, provided both people in the relationship are willing to make the effort. With a desire to rekindle the love that may have faded, there is still hope. And where there is hope, there is a future.

Many people are reluctant to end relationships because they worry that they will not be able to find somebody better in their life. That’s the wrong approach to take. There are literally billions of people out there, and some of them will be much more suited to you than your current partner. 

However, if you want to manifest your soulmate with ease, you’ll have to focus on yourself as well. That means being more giving, more loving, and putting the other person first, even when it’s hard to do so. If things like money and status are more important to you than intimacy, you’ll always struggle to find a partner who makes sense for you. 
​

So, what about you? Are you reading this because you are in a struggling relationship? If there are still signs of love, don't give up just yet. Speak to a relationship counsellor if necessary, and work to get things back on track. On the other hand, if the relationship has become toxic and you identified with what we said earlier, then it may be time to call it quits. These aren't easy decisions to make, but we hope you find the right answer if you are currently in this difficult position.

Let us know your thoughts on this difficult subject.

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Are Long-Distance Relationships Worth All The Effort and Cost?

11/14/2018

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Long Distance Relationships are not easy!  Discover how to make your Long Distance Relationship work in this contributed post.
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Long Distance Relationships Require Dedication From Both People Involved


Thanks to social media, video calling, and mobile technology, it has never been easier to connect with people all over the world. That has made it easier than ever before to stay in close communication with someone you love who lives far away.


While keeping in touch may be simpler than it used to be, that doesn't mean that long-distance relationships are any less stressful than they were prior to the rise of the digital age. It is not impossible to maintain a healthy relationship over some distance. However, it is very difficult and requires a lot of dedication from both parties involved.  


There's a Financial Cost to Long-Distance Love


While you may no longer need to pay exorbitant long-distance phone call costs, there are still many expenses associated with a long-distance relationship. The primary one, of course, is travel. Whether you invest in your own transport, or choose to take a bus, a boat, or a plane, traveling frequently to see your significant other results in a lot of expenses. Additionally, you will likely incur other costs while visiting, as you will both want to make your trip special, especially if it's the first time you're meeting in person.


Over the course of a year, a long-distance relationship can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to maintain, depending on where you live and how often you try to see each other. You'll also have to spend a lot of time sending texting, writing emails, video chatting, and otherwise communicating digitally with someone you wish you could see in person. It's important to be realistic about the amount of money and effort required to sustain a romantic bond in a long-distance relationship.


If You Believe It's Worth the Cost, Then It is


Love isn't rational. You can't control the fact that you have intense feelings for someone who lives far from you. If they return those feelings and you both agree that the effort of a long-distance relationship is worth it, then it can be worth a try. Do your best to avoid misunderstandings, discuss expectations about communication and fidelity, and prepare for some challenges along the way. 


When you really care about someone, even the stress of a long-distance relationship becomes worth it. Although there are a lot of costs involved, from the emotional toll of feeling lonely too the expenses involved in traveling to see one another, if you truly have strong feelings for the other person, it's worth the cost. 


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Surprising Things To Do In A Long-Term Relationship

10/31/2018

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Do you know how to keep the spark alive in your long-term relationship? Discover some great ideas in this contributed post.
​


Being in a long-term relationship is wonderful. Not only do you get to go through new stages of life with your significant other, but you also become closer than others. However, long-term relationships tend to lose that fiery spark that might have been there in the beginning. This lack of excitement leads many couples to drift apart over time.

If you want to avoid parting ways, you need to learn how to keep that spark alive in your long-term relationship. It’s easier than you think when you have a strong foundation. We all know how stressful the chaos of everyday life can be, and it’s understandable that you’ll stop focusing on your relationship. To make sure you stay connected with your partner, do these surprising things below that help strengthen your relationship.

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Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship


​1. Spend Time Apart
​

One of the most surprising ways to strengthen your long-term relationship is to actually spend time apart. This doesn’t mean you need to take a break or separate. However, it doesn't mean getting to know who you are outside of your relationship with your partner. When we’re in long-term relationships, it’s easy to define ourselves based on our relationship with our partner. This isn’t healthy.

You’re your own person with unique interests. Haven’t you ever heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” Well, it’s true. Don’t be afraid to develop your own interests and friend groups outside of your partner. Take a weekend to yourself to have fun with your friends. Take a new class by yourself. This alone time and time spent without your partner is vital to retaining who you are as an individual.

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Plan A Date Night To Reconnect With Each Other


​2. Try Something New Together

Experiences form the backbone of strong relationships. When you’re doing the same things day in and day out, you start to lose focus. That spark you cherished early in your relationship fades fast. Make it a priority to try new things together regularly. Maybe you try a new restaurant every month or you go on weekend trips to new parts of the world. You might even try new lingerie, sexy costumes & more in the bedroom. All of these things bring you together over a shared experience.


3. Date Each Other

Dating isn’t just for the first few months when you’re getting to know your partner. You can date your long-time partner or even your spouse. In fact, this is essential to keeping your relationship alive. What is a date? It’s time when you just focus on each other and nothing else. In the early stages of your relationship, this was when you got to know each other.

Now that you’ve been dating for a while (or years!), you can use this time to reconnect. Leave the worries and stress at home and just talk to each other. You can talk about new things at work, your hobbies, or even your own kids at home. No matter what you talk about, treat this the same as you would a second or third date. You get to date your best friend! What could be better?

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Travel Together To Experience Something New Together


4. Travel Together​
​
Traveling is the test of any relationship, long-term or short-term. When you travel, you’re forced into uncomfortable situations. Things are no longer in your control. Maybe your flight is delayed or you get lost in a new city. These stressful situations bring out true colors—for better or for worse.

How well do you know your partner? The best way to find out is to take them with you somewhere new. You’ll quickly learn how they act at their best and at their worst. While this can strain a failing relationship, it can also strengthen the best relationships.

Being in a long-term relationship is something to celebrate. Not many couples make it this far, so it’s clear you have something special worth savoring. The best way to strengthen your relationship is with these steps above, no matter how strange they might seem.

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Is Moving In With Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend A Good Idea Right Now?

10/26/2018

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There are many factors to consider when deciding to live together with someone, Do you know what they are? Read this contributed post to find out more.
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There Are Factors To Consider When Deciding To Move In Together



The title of this article sounds judgemental, but it’s really not. Asking yourself this question is absolutely a necessity no matter how in love or well supported you are with your lover. Of course, there are some circumstances where moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend might be a no-brainer, depending on your current situation. For example, you might decide that since you have a child on the way, it’s best to set up that personal family home in a secure, stable manner, and really try to make a go of things. Many people have done this, and many people have succeeded in crafting a beautiful family home, even though it perhaps wasn’t as planned as it could have been.


But of course, this is a highly specific circumstance, and it may or may not apply to you. If you can, it’s always best to consider deeply when the potential of moving in together comes up. If you manage to simply take the time to consider your position, you can either move forward with your plans enjoying greater confidence or potentially avoid a mistake until you once again consider it.

Consider our simple list of advice to try and decide whether or not this is a good personal decision to make:

Financial Handling

What is the financial history and handling like within your relationship? How has this been in the past? Perhaps a stumble here or there isn’t too worrying as we all experience problems from time to time. However, if your other half has been evicted at any time in the last five to ten years, or if they regularly overspend or miss their rental payments, there is no way that tying your financial history to this person is worthwhile.

If you are the person without this sense of financial reliability, it might be that you’re going to struggle to do so in a relationship. Couples often spend MORE when together, not less, and it’s often easy for bad habits to become twice as echoed if you both share them. It might even be that you only have a middling lack of financial handling in the recent past, but if your other half hasn’t challenged you on this (especially if you’re close enough to consider moving in together,) it might be that they aren’t quite the fundamental rock you expect them to be to help you manage your spending issues, nor should you expect them to be.

Financial untying yourself from someone else and vice-versa, especially when two names are on a lease or two contracts become one can become messy if the agreement dissolves. If you’ve ever seen Judge Judy, you’ll know that lawsuits between jaded ex-lovers who moved in together two quickly and shared each and every asset they owned is perhaps 90% of the lawsuits brought to the Judges panel.
It’s neither smart, romantic or clever to throw away your potential financial security to proceed with moving in. You can live semi-permanently with someone without having to tie yourselves together on one lease, or moving together in an apartment signed by both of you.

Of course, if you both have good credit, a history of on-time and well planned financial decisions, and you trust the other person, you can progress with greater confidence. We’d recommend knowing the person and their financial behaviours for at least two years before moving in, although more is often better. Once taking the decision to move forward, take another six months to verify everything financially, assessing and reassessing your eligibility for this life situation. Just like the waiting period after deciding on a tattoo design, time can often bring a refreshed sense of clarity in the long-term if we give ourselves enough time.

Relationship Stability

Of course, financial stability is one thing, but it’s nothing without the emotional glue that holds a relationship together. Young couples often think that love will last forever, but often it’s maturity that tempers the fires of love and helps retain that sense of rationality at the end of the day, even through tumultuous times. If your relationship often falls into an on-off form of connectivity, then perhaps fusing yourselves together with the financial responsibility of a home is not quite the best idea, even if focusing on a humble apartment at this stage.

It does seem to be somewhat of a cultural attitude that most couples fight and go through long, down periods, but that’s not true at all. Small grievances and annoyances are normal, but they must be talked through. If yourself and your partner have large blowouts, even one a year, it’s a sign that the relationship might not deal with the strain of maintaining and sustaining the funding of a household, no matter how humble.

It’s easy to see that having a child to ‘fix’ a relationship is an absurdly stupid move for most people, but moving in together can be nearly as toxic for both involved. If you haven’t had an argument or large disagreement in your relationship you haven’t worked through immediately, and you trust each other even in the harder times, it might be that you are suitable to consider this step more appropriately.

Emotions vs. Cold Hard Logic

While young love or even mature love can feel like a river of emotions you love to become swept in, this is never the right time to make life decisions that can impact you both. This isn’t to say you need to feel completely detached and mechanical in your decisions for the future, but you do need to temper the positives of your relationships with the worries of the future if you hope to make a good decision. It also cannot be done out of a sense of hurried pacing.

A good analogy is to imagine what you’re like when taking care of your weekly grocery purchases. If you head to the store while hungry, it’s likely you’ll purchase much more than you need. There are clinical studies performed that prove this resoundingly well, but the common sense of this situation is hard to argue in the first place. Consider how this might apply to your current situation, and you’ll have a good idea of what we mean.

Appropriate Plans

Considering the appropriate plan can be worthwhile for now. HDB flats for couples are often the best starting, stepping stone on your path to joining the property market together. It’s best to stay humble. If you can both stay aware of your responsibilities and can temper your expectations to begin with, it might be that drawing up a long-term plan could be very appropriate to do.

Start small. Appreciate what you have. Focus on working together to better your career and financial situations instead of spending on the highest and most comforting residence you can right now. When pooling an income you may be able to achieve something nicer than you would have solo in the first place. Of course, a couple will only need one bed, so it might be that someone moving into the other’s apartment could be a better and cheaper alternative than to simply find a new place together.

Consider compromise. How might both you working commutes be affected? Did you want to live abroad for a certain amount of years? Where are both of your families? Do you have anyone else aside from the relationship participants to turn to for help if you’re struggling a little? Drawing up a set of rough plans of what life will be like on a daily, practical level can help you understand that which you’re getting involved in, giving you the red, amber or green lights to either stop, stay cautious and patient, or proceed with your decision. When contextualized like this, it’s often easy for couples to retain a sense of rationality about their potential timeline of moving, and that’s only ever a good thing.

With these tips, you’re sure to enjoy a more informed decision, no matter your final analysis.

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    NEW! The Sex Bible For People Over 50: The Complete Guide To Sexual Love For Mature Couples
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