Being in a long-term relationship means you share things with your partner. You may share the same house, use the same car, share an Amazon password, and so on. Much of your life together is joined, yet there’s one element that’s often left in the dark.
The topic of personal finances is a touchy subject for many couples. Even those in happy relationships may go silent when it’s time to talk about money. Fundamentally, the problem stems from the idea of joint finances. Every other aspect of your life is joined together, but many couples still have separate finances.
On the one hand, you can see how this makes sense. Both of you may earn a living, so you want to keep your income separate. However, the longer you’re with someone, the sillier it seems to keep things apart. Couples should focus on their finances together, rather than keeping everything separate. You may be worried about this idea, but there are some clear reasons why it makes a lot of sense.
In this guide, we’ll explore why couples should join their finances together and the benefits this can bring to you and your relationship.
Encourages open conversations about money
Too many couples will never talk about money with one another. As mentioned before, it’s a touchy subject. Some people don’t want to talk about what they’re spending money on or how much they’re saving. When this happens, you can build invisible barriers between one another. There’s a lack of openness that may not cause problems right now, but it can later down the line.
Couples who pool their money together will have a more open relationship. When both of you share an account and put money in it, it’s only natural to have conversations about your finances.
This is really advantageous as it helps you both get on the same page. You can talk about your outgoings for the month and notice that you’re spending way too much in some areas. If you want to save money for a big purchase, you can look at your joint account and talk to one another about the best ways to budget going forward.
Money stops being this hidden thing that neither of you speaks about and starts becoming a normal topic. The improved communication and openness won’t just lead to better financial control, it’ll also lead to better relationships.
Prevents financial resentment
One of the main reasons couples break up is thanks to financial resentment. One partner resents the other because of certain financial decisions or money-related issues. Ironically, the most common occurrence is in heterosexual relationships when the female partner earns more money than the male one.
Here, the man starts to resent his partner because he feels slightly emasculated. While we could take a deep dive into fragile masculinity and how society has trained men to believe they need to be the “breadwinner” we’ll leave it at that for a moment! Financial resentment is more common when your finances are separate because you may feel like your partner is splashing the cash all the time. You or they become jealous, which puts a strain on your relationship.
When couples focus on their finances together, financial resentment doesn’t exist. You go from both having your own finances to sharing them together. Everyone is equal and you can both use the money as one. It completely removes the idea of resentment, giving your relationship one less thing to worry about.
Stops bad financial decisions and the debt spiral
Bad financial decisions are easier to make when you’ve got your own stash of money. It’s in your account, so you feel less worried about doing something potentially dangerous. You have no issues maxing out your credit card because your partner doesn’t need to know about it.
Sadly, this leads to more bad decisions and you end up in a terrible debt spiral. You owe more money every month and it’s impossible to get out of. Debt is a terrible thing that can ruin your life and put a massive strain on your mental health. Many people have ended up in a depression rehab center as a direct result of bad financial decisions and debt. How does this change when you approach your finances together?
You’re both less likely to make bad financial decisions when you have joint ownership of an account. You may share a credit card, meaning you have to take more care when spending money. Instead of doing impulsive things, you talk to your partner first. Your partner also sees what you’re spending when you share your finances together, so they can talk to you about certain purchases or decisions.
In essence, the added responsibility makes you think twice about things. You no longer feel like you can do something because it only affects you. Instead, you start recognizing that other people are affected, so you cut down on the bad financial decisions. As a result, there will be less debt in your relationship and the pair of you can make smarter financial choices together.
Helps you achieve financial goals faster
Couples who share their finances and have joint accounts will achieve their goals a lot faster than others. It’s down to a combination of things, many of which we’ve already touched upon.
Having better and more open communication will lead to better financial decisions. As such, you can work on creating a better budget together and saving more money. This enables you to reach saving targets quicker - perhaps you can get a downpayment for a mortgage loan a lot faster than expected.
Moreover, combining your finances means you will have more money in your accounts. This will let you take advantage of interest rates to earn more money. If your money is separate, you will earn less interest as there’s less money in each account. Pooled together, you earn more money even at the same rate. The same goes for joint investments; instead of only being able to invest $5,000 in something, you can combine money with your partner to double that and see greater returns.
Your natural human reaction to money is that you should keep yours separate. You spent your life earning a living, so you’re worried about sharing that with someone else. For the good of your relationship - and your financial future - it makes a lot of sense to start focusing on finances together. Combine your wealth; you share everything else, so why should this be any different?
Relationships are a common aspect of life and can benefit one’s well-being in many ways, whether dating, marriage or even friendship. However, these relationships can either succeed or fail, with research revealing that 70% of couples break up in the first year of their relationship. In comparison, 41% of all first marriages end in divorce. So what makes it hard to maintain or sustain a relationship? Of course, each relationship is unique, with different issues and personalities. But regardless of these problems, some common challenges or obstacles are present in most relationships, including those outlined below
Change is part of the growth process, sometimes with a shift in priorities or life goals. As individuals grow, they begin to evolve, and certain things no longer hold priority in their lives. For example, someone may lose interest in a career and seek a new challenge. Some may also seek new personal interests or create new social circles. Regardless of the type of change, a priority shift can make it difficult to sustain a relationship. In most cases, this change can lead to unintentionally neglecting your partner, especially when you feel you’ve outgrown them. This situation creates a disconnection and eventually leads to a break in the relationship.
2. A lack of intimacy
A recent study shows that as many as 40 million Americans in romantic relationships are not physically intimate. Several factors account for this, ranging from a lack of interest to a lack of time. Some also deal with pornography and other forms of addiction, affecting their desire to be physically intimate. In such cases, it’s important to find ways to stop pornography or break free from addiction. Of course, intimacy isn't always physical, as it also encompasses emotional, intellectual, and even spiritual connections. Finding bonding activities can help deal with a lack of intimacy that isn’t physical.
Many prioritize love and affection, but money is also key in any relationship. Money matters or finances are some main reasons couples fall off. But a lack of money isn’t the only issue. Sometimes disagreements on many-related issues, purchases, and other finance-related decisions like prenups have caused separations in many relationships. Also, differing attitudes towards money can strain relationships. Financial difficulties only amplify existing problems, although they can create new ones.
Incompatible values can happen on two levels. The first can be an extension of changing priorities, as mentioned earlier. When people outgrow their partners, they sometimes have a value shift that breeds division in the relationship. The second can happen even before the relationship starts. Religious beliefs, political affiliations, or attitudes toward family can cause couples to grow apart. Many feel that such issues are surmountable at the beginning of the relationship because the love is still strong. As a result, most couples fail to address them properly, and these issues later lead to recurring disagreements in the relationship as some partners begin to feel they are not being understood.
If you want to make sure that your relationship is as strong and as healthy as possible then you are not alone. So many people are in the same position as you are, but by taking the right steps, you can be sure to benefit both you and your partner.
Get to Know Yourself
Take the time to appreciate yourself and also get in touch with your emotions. This is one of the best ways for you to express yourself in a way that is clear and effective. Not knowing how to regulate your emotions, or even how to express them in a way that is healthy will impact your well-being more than you realize.
Put in the Work
A healthy relationship has to have willingness and commitment. You have to be accommodating to one another’s needs and you also need to try. A lot of relationships fail because people simply stop making an effort, but all of this can be avoided if you simply take the time to know your partner and the needs that they have, so make sure that you are mindful of that.
Setting boundaries is not only about what you don’t want, or don’t like. It’s about letting the people around you know what it is you appreciate. Think about your partner and understand their boundaries. It also helps to communicate your own. If you do this then you can stop yourself from trying to commit to something that you may find unrealistic.
Talk and Listen
Every single relationship out there comes with a series of disagreements, and this is fine. That being said, what matters is how you talk and how you listen. Make sure that you listen to understand, as opposed to listening to respond. This is a great way for you to make sure that your communication is always as open as possible, which is the key to a healthy relationship. If you feel as though you have had a bit of a communication breakdown in your relationship then it could be wise for you to try and price up divorces and whether or not it is time to separate.
Knowing that you are only ever able to control what you do, and not what other people do, is the best way for you to save yourself time and stress. Don’t try to control everything your partner does and make yourself accountable for your actions. If you can do this, then you will soon find that things work in your favour and that you are able to support a long, happy and healthy relationship.
Reflect and Learn
If you have a very healthy way of being able to express your feelings then you are going to be able to react to others in a way that is healthy. If you are angry with someone then there is a high chance that this is coming from a place of hurt. If you can recognize this and if you can communicate it then this will help you to build your relationship.
The end of a relationship can make you feel like you're out of control. Even if you're the one to initiate it, ending a relationship means that a lot of things in your life can change. You might make the decision to end the relationship, but a lot of other changes can come along with it that you don't necessarily want to plan for.
You can take control at the end of a relationship, whether you initiate it, your partner does, or it's a mutual breakup. By taking a proactive and pragmatic approach, you can plan to come out stronger. That doesn't mean you have to shut away your feelings or pretend it's not affecting you. In fact, it can make it easier to face your emotions, as well as some of the practical changes. Here's how you can be proactive when your relationship is ending.
Make a Plan
You can feel pretty unmoored when your relationship ends. You're used to your life being a certain way and now it's going to change. The first thing you can do to try and get control and minimize the impact of your breakup is make a plan. There are several things you might need to plan to help yourself prepare. If you're leaving together, what happens next? Is one of you moving out and if so, who? If you're moving out, where will you go? If your ex is moving out, how will you cover the bills? Thinking about practical issues like this will help you to get ready.
Book Some Therapy Sessions
Even if you're taking a practical and proactive approach to handling a breakup or divorce, you don't have to ignore your feelings. Pushing away your emotions isn't going to help you in the long run and it will most likely all come back to bite you eventually. If you want to be really proactive, consider booking some therapy sessions to help you process everything. It will give you space to talk about how you're feeling and what to do next. You might even find that seeing a therapist is useful for other things too and decide to continue.
Get Your Legal Ducks in a Row
The end of a relationship can mean dealing with legal matters, even if you're not married. If you are married, you might need to start looking for a divorce attorney to help you with the process. Not every divorce requires lawyers, but they are definitely helpful if you and your spouse can't agree on the terms of the divorce. If you're not married, you could still have legal issues surrounding child custody, shared property, or other matters that come with entangling your life with someone else's.
Create a New Routine
One of the most noticeable things about the end of a relationship is how your routine changes. Suddenly, someone who has been in your life is no longer there. Many things can change, from where you live to what your bedtime routine is like. Creating a new routine for yourself can help you to get back into the swing of things if you feel like you've been thrown off-kilter. You might need to find new ways to fill your evenings or build a routine that works better for you as a single person.
Spend Time with Yourself
Learning to be alone again can be tough if you've been in a relationship for a long time or you're a serial monogamist. Some people aren't used to being single and can struggle to be on their own. But instead of jumping straight into another relationship, it's a good idea to spend time with yourself. When you have some alone time or even allow yourself to be with friends and family more instead of looking for a new relationship, you can learn new things about yourself. You can get comfortable with being single so, even if you want a new relationship, you don't feel like you need one.
Learn from Your Mistakes
The end of a relationship can give you the chance to look forward to a better future. One of the things you can do is try to learn from your past mistakes before you start a new relationship. What were the things that went wrong? What did you always regret or wish was different? Avoiding the same mistakes could help you to find a relationship that's better than your last one.
It can take time to process the end of a relationship, but taking action as soon as you can is a good way to come out of it a stronger person.
Relationships, whether with a long-term partner or casual hook-ups, can take a lot of work, and a lot of it can be about trial and error. Opening up for more intimacy could mean trying things you’ve never done, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, or making extra effort for the people you care about in order to help relationships succeed.
If you think your potential for intimacy is lacking, whether because you have limited experience or because you currently have a partner who has flagged up the issue, the following ideas can help.
What is Intimacy?
The most obvious example of intimacy is sexual, in which you open yourself up to more physical touch and physical closeness. Nevertheless, intimacy can also be about general closeness with another person through time spent together, as well as emotional intimacy where you learn more about another person or reveal more personal details about yourself.
All levels of intimacy are important for a successful and loving relationship, but not everyone finds intimacy easy to give or receive.
How to Open Yourself Up to More Intimacy
Decide What Intimacy Means to You
In the same way that people have different love languages, the way in which you show intimacy could be different from others. You may find it very intimate to hold hands, and that might be a big step for you, whereas other people might take that for granted. Spending time to get to know your own intimacy levels will help you to communicate better with your current partner or any future partners if you’re looking to start dating.
Schedule Moments of Intimacy
This may sound less than exciting if you have to schedule sex or closeness with your partner, but if you’re finding that intimacy is lacking because of busy schedules, making an appointment to stick to may be the only way to reconnect. If you can set aside a day or an evening in your busy schedules to devote to intimacy, this can help you to reconnect. Often, if you’re relying on times when you’re both not busy or not tired, it can become neglected and continually get pushed back.
Try to Experiment with Different People
You can learn a lot about yourself, what you like and what you don’t like by being intimate with different people, so if you’re single and looking to start dating or connect with more people, experimenting can be a good idea. You may want to try casual dating to test your feelings regarding intimacy, or maybe you want to try a professional escort service such as Playgirls London to put yourself in a dating situation and try connecting with someone on a deeper level.
Take it One Step at a Time
Intimacy can be very overwhelming if you’re not used to being vulnerable and if you try to do too much at once. Taking small steps could include having a deeper conversation, trying to spend longer touching, letting yourself be vulnerable more and more, over a course of time or anything else you’d like to work on that you can take at your own pace.
Every couple goes through ups and downs as these are a part of life. It does not matter how many years they have been in a relationship. It is how perfectly they have been taking care of their partnership. They can have some inspiring secrets to show you the way to stick together as you come of age. Take lessons from these happily-aging couples and try to find your way to a stronger bond. Here are the best secrets of happily-aging couples for an enduring relationship.
They embrace changes happily
In reality, a successful marriage is one in which both the partners respect each other and embrace the changes happily. These could be physical, financial, or emotional changes. They take time to learn and understand each other’s goals, plans and dreams for a better tomorrow. Respect and mutual understanding between mature partners are the two main pillars that bind them together in a lasting bond.
They fight fairly
Who does not fight in a relationship? Happy couples also have a fair share of fights and arguments. But the ego does not have a place in a strong relationship. Happy aging couples settle everything calmly and do not let anything affect their bond. True power is in discussing and knowing the differences between the two. So, it is important to let go of personal ego and focus on saving the relationship.
They find new ways to play
Getting stuck in the same boring routine may affect the relationship as it ages. Successful couples find ways to ignite excitement and love over the years. They experiment in bed to keep monotony at bay. Using a real whizzinator XXX is a great idea to spice up your bedroom life. Many happy couples rely on it to keep the spark alive. Just hit the right pleasure points and reduce the hard work!
They remain physically connected
Age is just a number when it comes to relationships. Staying connected physically enables partners to thrive over the years. They always find ways to kiss, hug, and touch to create intimacy in their bond. They are happy because they combat and face the emotional and physical challenges and still maintain a connection. In simple words, demonstrations of affection and love never go out of style.
They welcome the challenges of aging
A strong partnership is one where both partners accept the challenges of aging as they come. They know the vulnerability that comes with each passing year. But, they remain with each other and talk about health and the future. These mature partners are ready to face the future with courage and love. These qualities make a relationship more beautiful and rock-solid.
Love is not a matter of sheer luck. Much more goes into a strong partnership. Building it requires unconditional honesty, togetherness, and trust. Create a balance and try new things to keep the attraction growing over the years. You will not have to worry about drifting apart with these easy relationship secrets of happily aging couples who have been together forever.
If the fire has gone from your relationship, you may be worried that this means your relationship is coming to an end. Or, you may simply assume that this is a natural progression that starts to happen when we get older. However, it does not need to be this way. While a lot of couples can reach a point where the intimacy stops, there is often a valid reason for this. With that being said, we’re going to take a look at some of the different reasons why the intimacy may end in a relationship.
As you can see, there are a lot of different reasons why couples start to lose intimacy in their relationship. However, this does not mean that it is lost forever. The first place to start is by understanding why the intimacy stopped, to begin with. Once you understand this, you can then start to take the steps that are required to get the fire back into your life.
So many of our feelings and emotions are linked to our health; it’s incredible when you know how everything you are thinking of can have an actual, physical impact on your body – and vice versa. It makes sense, then, that your relationship status and how you feel about that can also determine how you feel when it comes to your health.
You can feel it happening. Love gives us a natural, physical reaction that includes a quickened heart rate, dilated pupils, ‘butterflies’ in the stomach, sweaty palms, and it can even make it hard to speak or find the right words to say.
Studies have shown that those in a committed, happy relationship tend to be healthier (and even live longer) than those who are single. Yet it’s not quite as simple as that. There are many things that go into how your love life affects your health.
If you’ve ever noticed that you put on a little (or perhaps a lot) of weight once you are in a stable relationship, there could be a good reason for it. Once you are happy with someone and comfortable with your body around them, many will stop trying quite so hard to keep fit, and the weight will start to gain. So, although putting on weight might be a sign of a happy relationship, it’s not good for your health.
If you find that you and your partner have become heavier since moving in together or marrying, for example, you can do something about it. Using that same partnership that allowed the weight to come in the first place, you can go out and exercise together, join the same gym, or even attend the same class. If you set weight loss goals as a couple, losing the weight should be easier than trying to do it separately.
Your Stress Levels
People who have sex regularly are a lot less stressed than those who don’t. That’s because sex reduces your blood pressure levels by increasing the level of serotonin (the happy hormone) and reducing the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. That gives you a good balance of the right kinds of hormones, and you’ll feel fantastic; you won’t feel stressed.
The more often you have sex, the better you’ll be able to react when it comes to stressful situations, and you’ll be a much calmer person in general. This is why being compatible in bed is actually more important than many people realize. If you feel that this is an issue, it might be time to shake things up. You can learn about Wild Flower’s pursuit of genderless toys leads to The Enby 2, and start a new exciting chapter in your sex life.
Getting the right amount of sleep each night is essential for your good health. Sleeping well for around seven to eight hours a night will help you to lose weight, make you more productive, lower your blood pressure, protect you from heart disease and heart attacks, reduce your chances of stroke and type II diabetes, and even stop some cancers from forming (although other factors will, of course, come into play here).
When you sleep next to someone you totally trust and really love, you will sleep better because you will be more relaxed. Of course, if your partner keeps stealing the covers or snores, then it might not be the most relaxing sleep you have ever had, but if this is the case, there are ways to fix the issues, such as using a tool that keeps the covers in place and wearing earplugs.
The first time you met your fiance, it was love at first sight. You knew this person was the one for you. But as years pass and life gets busy, it's easy to forget about that feeling of excitement when you think about spending time with them. It might seem like they don't understand what is important to you or that they are not invested in your relationship anymore. But, the truth is, sometimes relationships need work just like anything else does. So, here are tips on how to build healthy relationships with your fiance.
You can show your fiance appreciation in several ways. Consider these:
Invest in Trust
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendships or with your family - trust becomes the foundation of everything else you do in life and can make even difficult situations more manageable. But how does one build this necessary element?
The first step to building trust in any relationship is to have shared values. This includes having similar beliefs about marriage, children and money, taking care of each other, always being honest and understanding what each partner needs.
The second step is to establish a level of comfort, which you can do by taking small steps together, such as: creating an environment where you can express yourselves, learning how each other's triggers work and being open about personal struggles.
Communication is an integral part of any healthy relationship. There are many ways to communicate, and you should choose the method that best fits your personality or lifestyle. It needs to be a two-way conversation with active listening on both parties.
The goal in communication is not just sharing information but building mutual understanding, so try to avoid becoming defensive when discussing problems.
For love and commitment between couples to grow stronger over time, communication needs to remain open at all times—not just in good times but even more importantly, through struggles or difficulties.
Spend Quality Time Together
Spending time together is an essential ingredient for a healthy relationship. So take time to have fun together and not just when it's convenient or necessary. For example, try to schedule regular date nights, even if you can't make them every week.
Use your creativity! The point of dating is figuring out who someone is and seeing what they like outside of their comfortable environs. So get creative with new and exciting dates that allow you to learn more about each other.
One example that you won’t need to leave the house for is gaming. You can play online games together. This is just about finding a genre that you both enjoy whether that’s shooting games, racing or perhaps problem solving games. Right now, couples are having fun playing on Wordle together in friendly rivalries so there are countless options here.
In conclusion, building healthy relationships is about more than just following the steps above - it's also about finding what works best for each person to feel happy, safe and respected.
Every relationship stumbles at some point. Continue reading to learn 5 proactive ways you can help your relationship.
Believe it or not, there is no such thing as “the perfect relationship." So things can and will go wrong from time to time.
Fortunately, there are some things that you can do proactively to fix the situation so you don’t experience a full-blown breakdown. Let’s take a look, shall we?
Being “responsible” doesn’t mean having the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time. It just means being “responsive” - that is, putting a filter between your unconscious reaction to situations and what you actually say and do.
For example, let’s say that you’re a person in the habit of getting into shouting matches with your partner. It happens. But being responsible or responsive would mean avoiding any raised voices and just expressing yourself naturally. Ultimately, it’s about letting go of yourself a little and allowing things to develop more organically.
Create Some Space
When I was looking for a divorce attorney near me, the main motivation was surprising. People don’t split up because they want to get away from each other completely. That rarely happens. What they want is a little more space - the freedom to stretch their legs and enjoy themselves uninhibited. They want to preserve a part of themselves that’s outside of the relationship.
Creating space, therefore, is essential. Space isn’t the same as distance. But if you find yourself having the same conversations over and over, you might want to try spending some time apart, just enjoying other things in the world. You don’t have to be joined at the hip the whole time.
Take Time To Cool Off
You can sometimes get angry in a relationship, particularly when you feel like your partner isn’t meeting your needs in the way they should. Instead of getting confrontational and saying something you’ll regret, go and cool off somewhere.
Once you calm down, you can think about the situation more rationally. That way, you can consider the best needs of the partner while also finding a solution that works for you both.
Say Things More Gently
It’s not just what we say that matters, but also how we say it. You can have two conversations with identical content, but how they feel emotionally can differ tremendously. If you’re shouting at each other about your frustrations, it is going to create a different atmosphere compared to just talking about them.
Being gentle with your partner is the same as being kind to them. The people you love don’t want you to handle them aggressively. They want you to know them. And that means understanding how to deal with them delicately in a way that is appropriate for them.
Be More Value-Driven
Lastly, you might want to try being more value-driven in your relationship. Sometimes, you can feel let down by your partner if they aren’t being truthful. Talk to them about the things that matter to you, such as support, honesty, commitment and consideration. Find out how they relate to these ideas and which, if any, are important to them.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes