Are you lacking confidence in relationships?
Read 5 tips that can help you be more confident in this contributed post.
Being self-confident in a relationship is not always easy, especially if you have been hurt in one before. Being self-confident can improve a relationship though as well as being better for your overall well being. Life throws enough stresses at us without you worry about the state of your relationship.
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
No one will make you feel more worthless than you. You should value your own worth, as this will make you feel and look better. If it helps, have a new hairstyle or change the color of your hair. Anything that helps you feel more confident is good. It is very easy to be your own worst enemy and that has to stop right now!
Be An Individual
You should not let yourself become an extension of your partner. You are an individual with your own dreams and aspirations. People who have lived on their own for a while are often better at this because they are used to considering just themselves. Although no one would ever suggest you should be selfish, you do sometimes have to put yourself first.
It can be great if you have a shared interest, but it is also good to have an interest of your own. Apart from keeping you mixing with other people, it is something else for the pair of you to discuss.
You should also make sure you stay in touch with friends that you knew before you met your partner. It may well be that they socialize with both of you, but you should still have an occasional evening for just you and your friends.
Tell your partner a secret about yourself that no one else knows. Sharing secrets or things you are ashamed of from your past can help to establish a feeling of intimacy between you. Self-disclosure can help to build your confidence in each other. For instance, if in the past a sex therapist has helped you over a problem, or you once dated someone who turned out to be a drug taker and you almost got involved in them too, your partner will be pleased that your problems were solved and that you have the confidence in them to be honest about your past.
Don’t Settle For Second Best
Do not let your self-esteem drop so low that you put up with someone who is constantly criticizing you and does not show you any respect. Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for them behaving in this way. You deserve better than this, so don’t settle for second best. Walk away from the relationship, as there is no doubt that someone better will come along one day. Yes, it can be hard, but it will benefit you both in the long-term.
Make sure you have fun together sometimes at least. Laughing together is a great help for any relationship, and yours will be no different. It could be at a film you are watching or maybe playing some sort of game. Having a fun element in any relationship is vitally important if it is to succeed.
Is it worth fixing a broken relationship? There are some specific things you need to know first. Read more in this contributed post.
Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. Despite promising intentions at the start, when love rules and the other person is seen through rose-tinted glasses, there will be problems that set in. Petty arguments will arise. Resentments will surface. Habits will start to grate. And the once blossoming relationship may start to wilt. That's not the end of the relationship, of course.
With effort, conversation, and the attempt to recapture the love that was present early on, a relationship can be solidified. It can be repaired before further damage sets in. However, if little effort is expended, on either side, then the relationship will start to suffer, and may eventually become broken. Where once there was love and friendship, there will now be animosity. And if this is compounded by certain behaviours such as unfaithfulness and abuse, then the relationship is probably over.
So, is it worth trying to fix a broken relationship? Yes and no.
The relationship may have to end if…
- One or both people in the relationship is abusive to the other.
- There is a lack of repentance about wrong behaviour.
-Resentments continue to fester with no attempts to communicate them
- One or both people continue to be unfaithful.
- There are signs that there is no longer love in the relationship.
Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it is the right thing to do, even in a marriage. Divorce firms, such as The Vendt Law Firm, are probably the best port of call. We say 'probably' because we don't want to talk about ending a relationship where there is still hope. However, sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that yes, the chances of the relationship recovering are slim to none. When the relationship is toxic because of yourself or that other person, then saying goodbye may be the answer.
On the other hand, if there are signs that the relationship can be mended, then every effort needs to be taken.
The relationship can be mended if…
- Love hasn't gone away, and there is still a longing to be together.
- Promises have been broken, but attempts have been made to repent and start again.
- Previous hardships in the relationship have been overcome successfully.
- It's difficult to imagine a life without the other person being present.
- There is still genuine affection for the other person, despite the struggles.
If any of the signs mentioned are still relevant, then there is still a chance. Love can overcome the obstacles in the way, provided both people in the relationship are willing to make the effort. With a desire to rekindle the love that may have faded, there is still hope. And where there is hope, there is a future.
So, what about you? Are you reading this because you are in a struggling relationship? If there are still signs of love, don't give up just yet. Speak to a relationship counsellor if necessary, and work to get things back on track. On the other hand, if the relationship has become toxic and you identified with what we said earlier, then it may be time to call it quits. These aren't easy decisions to make, but we hope you find the right answer if you are currently in this difficult position.
Let us know your thoughts on this difficult subject.
Long Distance Relationships are not easy! Discover how to make your Long Distance Relationship work in this contributed post.
Thanks to social media, video calling, and mobile technology, it has never been easier to connect with people all over the world. That has made it easier than ever before to stay in close communication with someone you love who lives far away.
While keeping in touch may be simpler than it used to be, that doesn't mean that long-distance relationships are any less stressful than they were prior to the rise of the digital age. It is not impossible to maintain a healthy relationship over some distance. However, it is very difficult and requires a lot of dedication from both parties involved.
There's a Financial Cost to Long-Distance Love
While you may no longer need to pay exorbitant long-distance phone call costs, there are still many expenses associated with a long-distance relationship. The primary one, of course, is travel. Whether you invest in your own transport, or choose to take a bus, a boat, or a plane, traveling frequently to see your significant other results in a lot of expenses. Additionally, you will likely incur other costs while visiting, as you will both want to make your trip special, especially if it's the first time you're meeting in person.
Over the course of a year, a long-distance relationship can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to maintain, depending on where you live and how often you try to see each other. You'll also have to spend a lot of time sending texting, writing emails, video chatting, and otherwise communicating digitally with someone you wish you could see in person. It's important to be realistic about the amount of money and effort required to sustain a romantic bond in a long-distance relationship.
If You Believe It's Worth the Cost, Then It is
Love isn't rational. You can't control the fact that you have intense feelings for someone who lives far from you. If they return those feelings and you both agree that the effort of a long-distance relationship is worth it, then it can be worth a try. Do your best to avoid misunderstandings, discuss expectations about communication and fidelity, and prepare for some challenges along the way.
When you really care about someone, even the stress of a long-distance relationship becomes worth it. Although there are a lot of costs involved, from the emotional toll of feeling lonely too the expenses involved in traveling to see one another, if you truly have strong feelings for the other person, it's worth the cost.
Do you know how to keep the spark alive in your long-term relationship? Discover some great ideas in this contributed post.
Being in a long-term relationship is wonderful. Not only do you get to go through new stages of life with your significant other, but you also become closer than others. However, long-term relationships tend to lose that fiery spark that might have been there in the beginning. This lack of excitement leads many couples to drift apart over time.
If you want to avoid parting ways, you need to learn how to keep that spark alive in your long-term relationship. It’s easier than you think when you have a strong foundation. We all know how stressful the chaos of everyday life can be, and it’s understandable that you’ll stop focusing on your relationship. To make sure you stay connected with your partner, do these surprising things below that help strengthen your relationship.
1. Spend Time Apart
One of the most surprising ways to strengthen your long-term relationship is to actually spend time apart. This doesn’t mean you need to take a break or separate. However, it doesn't mean getting to know who you are outside of your relationship with your partner. When we’re in long-term relationships, it’s easy to define ourselves based on our relationship with our partner. This isn’t healthy.
You’re your own person with unique interests. Haven’t you ever heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” Well, it’s true. Don’t be afraid to develop your own interests and friend groups outside of your partner. Take a weekend to yourself to have fun with your friends. Take a new class by yourself. This alone time and time spent without your partner is vital to retaining who you are as an individual.
2. Try Something New Together
Experiences form the backbone of strong relationships. When you’re doing the same things day in and day out, you start to lose focus. That spark you cherished early in your relationship fades fast. Make it a priority to try new things together regularly. Maybe you try a new restaurant every month or you go on weekend trips to new parts of the world. You might even try new lingerie, sexy costumes & more in the bedroom. All of these things bring you together over a shared experience.
3. Date Each Other
Dating isn’t just for the first few months when you’re getting to know your partner. You can date your long-time partner or even your spouse. In fact, this is essential to keeping your relationship alive. What is a date? It’s time when you just focus on each other and nothing else. In the early stages of your relationship, this was when you got to know each other.
Now that you’ve been dating for a while (or years!), you can use this time to reconnect. Leave the worries and stress at home and just talk to each other. You can talk about new things at work, your hobbies, or even your own kids at home. No matter what you talk about, treat this the same as you would a second or third date. You get to date your best friend! What could be better?
4. Travel Together
Traveling is the test of any relationship, long-term or short-term. When you travel, you’re forced into uncomfortable situations. Things are no longer in your control. Maybe your flight is delayed or you get lost in a new city. These stressful situations bring out true colors—for better or for worse.
How well do you know your partner? The best way to find out is to take them with you somewhere new. You’ll quickly learn how they act at their best and at their worst. While this can strain a failing relationship, it can also strengthen the best relationships.
Being in a long-term relationship is something to celebrate. Not many couples make it this far, so it’s clear you have something special worth savoring. The best way to strengthen your relationship is with these steps above, no matter how strange they might seem.
There are many factors to consider when deciding to live together with someone, Do you know what they are? Read this contributed post to find out more.
The title of this article sounds judgemental, but it’s really not. Asking yourself this question is absolutely a necessity no matter how in love or well supported you are with your lover. Of course, there are some circumstances where moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend might be a no-brainer, depending on your current situation. For example, you might decide that since you have a child on the way, it’s best to set up that personal family home in a secure, stable manner, and really try to make a go of things. Many people have done this, and many people have succeeded in crafting a beautiful family home, even though it perhaps wasn’t as planned as it could have been.
But of course, this is a highly specific circumstance, and it may or may not apply to you. If you can, it’s always best to consider deeply when the potential of moving in together comes up. If you manage to simply take the time to consider your position, you can either move forward with your plans enjoying greater confidence or potentially avoid a mistake until you once again consider it.
Consider our simple list of advice to try and decide whether or not this is a good personal decision to make:
What is the financial history and handling like within your relationship? How has this been in the past? Perhaps a stumble here or there isn’t too worrying as we all experience problems from time to time. However, if your other half has been evicted at any time in the last five to ten years, or if they regularly overspend or miss their rental payments, there is no way that tying your financial history to this person is worthwhile.
If you are the person without this sense of financial reliability, it might be that you’re going to struggle to do so in a relationship. Couples often spend MORE when together, not less, and it’s often easy for bad habits to become twice as echoed if you both share them. It might even be that you only have a middling lack of financial handling in the recent past, but if your other half hasn’t challenged you on this (especially if you’re close enough to consider moving in together,) it might be that they aren’t quite the fundamental rock you expect them to be to help you manage your spending issues, nor should you expect them to be.
Financial untying yourself from someone else and vice-versa, especially when two names are on a lease or two contracts become one can become messy if the agreement dissolves. If you’ve ever seen Judge Judy, you’ll know that lawsuits between jaded ex-lovers who moved in together two quickly and shared each and every asset they owned is perhaps 90% of the lawsuits brought to the Judges panel.
It’s neither smart, romantic or clever to throw away your potential financial security to proceed with moving in. You can live semi-permanently with someone without having to tie yourselves together on one lease, or moving together in an apartment signed by both of you.
Of course, if you both have good credit, a history of on-time and well planned financial decisions, and you trust the other person, you can progress with greater confidence. We’d recommend knowing the person and their financial behaviours for at least two years before moving in, although more is often better. Once taking the decision to move forward, take another six months to verify everything financially, assessing and reassessing your eligibility for this life situation. Just like the waiting period after deciding on a tattoo design, time can often bring a refreshed sense of clarity in the long-term if we give ourselves enough time.
Of course, financial stability is one thing, but it’s nothing without the emotional glue that holds a relationship together. Young couples often think that love will last forever, but often it’s maturity that tempers the fires of love and helps retain that sense of rationality at the end of the day, even through tumultuous times. If your relationship often falls into an on-off form of connectivity, then perhaps fusing yourselves together with the financial responsibility of a home is not quite the best idea, even if focusing on a humble apartment at this stage.
It does seem to be somewhat of a cultural attitude that most couples fight and go through long, down periods, but that’s not true at all. Small grievances and annoyances are normal, but they must be talked through. If yourself and your partner have large blowouts, even one a year, it’s a sign that the relationship might not deal with the strain of maintaining and sustaining the funding of a household, no matter how humble.
It’s easy to see that having a child to ‘fix’ a relationship is an absurdly stupid move for most people, but moving in together can be nearly as toxic for both involved. If you haven’t had an argument or large disagreement in your relationship you haven’t worked through immediately, and you trust each other even in the harder times, it might be that you are suitable to consider this step more appropriately.
Emotions vs. Cold Hard Logic
While young love or even mature love can feel like a river of emotions you love to become swept in, this is never the right time to make life decisions that can impact you both. This isn’t to say you need to feel completely detached and mechanical in your decisions for the future, but you do need to temper the positives of your relationships with the worries of the future if you hope to make a good decision. It also cannot be done out of a sense of hurried pacing.
A good analogy is to imagine what you’re like when taking care of your weekly grocery purchases. If you head to the store while hungry, it’s likely you’ll purchase much more than you need. There are clinical studies performed that prove this resoundingly well, but the common sense of this situation is hard to argue in the first place. Consider how this might apply to your current situation, and you’ll have a good idea of what we mean.
Considering the appropriate plan can be worthwhile for now. HDB flats for couples are often the best starting, stepping stone on your path to joining the property market together. It’s best to stay humble. If you can both stay aware of your responsibilities and can temper your expectations to begin with, it might be that drawing up a long-term plan could be very appropriate to do.
Start small. Appreciate what you have. Focus on working together to better your career and financial situations instead of spending on the highest and most comforting residence you can right now. When pooling an income you may be able to achieve something nicer than you would have solo in the first place. Of course, a couple will only need one bed, so it might be that someone moving into the other’s apartment could be a better and cheaper alternative than to simply find a new place together.
Consider compromise. How might both you working commutes be affected? Did you want to live abroad for a certain amount of years? Where are both of your families? Do you have anyone else aside from the relationship participants to turn to for help if you’re struggling a little? Drawing up a set of rough plans of what life will be like on a daily, practical level can help you understand that which you’re getting involved in, giving you the red, amber or green lights to either stop, stay cautious and patient, or proceed with your decision. When contextualized like this, it’s often easy for couples to retain a sense of rationality about their potential timeline of moving, and that’s only ever a good thing.
With these tips, you’re sure to enjoy a more informed decision, no matter your final analysis.
Would you like to introduce sex toys into your relationship but don't know where to start? Read this contributed post to learn how.
For years there has been a push to introduce vibrators into sex play for women. Men have been encouraged to suppress their own feelings towards this and to focus on their partners. Studies have shown that a greater proportion of men who have used dildos with their partners report lower levels of sexual satisfaction than those who have never done so. As psychologists tried to unpick the reasons for this they discovered it was yet another case of men not feeling able to speak up about their own desires. Deeper studies discovered that those men who used sex toys and did communicate with their partners had the best sexual satisfaction of all. The best way for both partners to have mind blowing sex is for the use of toys to be a two way street and for everyone to communicate effectively.
Talk, Talk And Talk Some More
Good sex can be spontaneous sex but for anything that is different from the norm, you need to talk it through; especially when it is the first time. BDSM, role-play and sex toys cannot be introduced unilaterally and it will only be fun for everyone if it is consensual. If you connect with a partner, you can discuss fantasies, or ask questions before, during or after sex. The best time is when it feels right and you are both horny. Don’t jump in like a bull in a china shop but keep it subtle: “you know what would be hot sometime…?” Equally think about the time and place; what works when you are engaged in sex might get a very different and very negative reaction when you are having dinner. Just start with what interests you such as watching each other masturbate and then take it from there.
Go Beyond The Vibrator
Advice on sex play often focuses on improving the experience for the woman. Bullet vibrators on the clitoris or G-Spot, or large penetrative vibrating dildos are not the only sex toys out there. It is important to include these, you need to do your part in providing more variety for her, but she is not the only person in the relationship. It may be that you find these toys exciting and want them used on you; only through being honest and trusting can this happen.
It Is Time To Reclaim Your Pleasure
There are a wide range of penis stimulating sex toys available. The best known, and most flexible, of these is the Fleshlight. The beauty of the Fleshlight is that, like vibrators, you have a huge variety available. The orifices can be surreal or sculpted from the vaginas of porn stars but the interiors are where the real action is. You can choose between highly realistic feeling sleeves or ones so intense that they threaten to make you blow your top in seconds. Fleshlights are not just about pure stimulation, they can play an important role in your relationship too. Some women experience intense pain with penetration and the fleshlight can help to bring you together. Some of the sleeves are designed for stamina training and your partner can use them to tease and train you; improving both your sex lives.
Sex toys are not something to be afraid of, and neither is talking. By talking about your feelings and desires you will not only make your relationship better for you but for her too.
5 dating tips to help you find love in your twenties and thirties are explored in this contributed post.
There will come a time in your life, it could be now, in your late twenties, thirties…. where you finally want to find someone who can settle down with you for life. Finding the love of your life is no mean feat and it will involve a lot of dedication and searching, but when you do, you’ll be treated to a relationship full of love and laughter.
It is always the first thing people will say when you come to looking for dates, but it is true. If you try to be someone else on a first date to impress someone you aren’t letting your real personality out and this can have a massive effect on your ability to find someone right for you. You want someone who loves you for all of your quirks and despite all of your floors. Be yourself and this will allow you to find them.
Don’t force it
If you think a date is going ok but you don’t feel any sort of romantic spark, this doesn’t mean you have to carry on stringing it along for a while to try and find that fizz of attraction. When it comes to love, when you know you just know. Don’t force a feeling of attraction and affection on yourself and someone else because it simply won’t work. If you wait long enough you will eventually find that special someone.
If you struggle to get the confidence to talk to new people in person, you can always try to speak to people on the phone on a service such as Fonochatlatino.com or online on a dating app first. It might seem a little pointless but it will build up your confidence and it will allow you to meet and speak to a whole range of different people. You can share a common interest and learn how best to keep a conversation flowing ready for a real date.
Go to parties
If you never leave the house you will never find the one. If your friends ask you out for a night out or to a party, just say yes. You never know when your missing link will show up to an event and it can take you a long time to find them if you never go out in public. Get out there and allow people to approach you for a chat and see if any sparks happen to fly.
Don’t worry about commitment
Commitment is a big buzzword with relationships and of course everyone eventually wants to be able to commit to the right person. However, when you start to date people just go with the flow, don’t think about the long term until you can see it going somewhere and just enjoy the present moment with your new love. If it is meant to be it will be, and if not, you can learn from the experience for your next relationship. Learning and using your past experiences is a good way to find the one for you.
Finding the one person for you feels amazing! If you are not sure, consider these signs in this contributed post that they are the one for you.
We all hope for the feeling of knowing for sure that the person we’re dating is the one. Not all relationships get to this point, but the ones that do can feel amazing. ‘The one’ also means different things to different people. It might mean something different at age 25 than it does at 30. It might not come to you until you reflect on the person you’re with through and through. Of course, thinking someone is the one may not be returned to you, so we’re often hesitant to apply that label until we’re absolutely sure.
Just like any matter of faith, instinct will often lead you to the right answer. There is no shame in falling in love with someone multiple times during your relationship, in fact this shows that life with this person could be truly novel! It may not be long before you’re comparing metal or silicone wedding rings, and walking over the threshold of your home as newlyweds. Until then, consider these signs they are the one for you:
If you can trust your partner, you have one of the vital pillars of a strong relationship already constructed. Without this, nothing else functions. You need to trust your partner to be true to you, to keep you aware, and to help you become your best self. In return, you must do the exact same for them. However, trust is not only found in the ways we imagine. For example, trusting a partner could be knowing they can speak to you authentically, that they will not filter their words around you. This could mean telling you when you’re acting out of line, or when they’re worried about you. Just as you expect a close friend to be candid with you, a lover will find a manner to build you up from your flaws, and to help you see them yourself rather than constantly remind you of them. If you trust in your partner 100%, perhaps more than you do yourself, they might just be ‘the one’ material.
If you can trust them to be responsible with their affairs, and to stand on their own two feet, and to put as much into the relationship as you do, and to keep building a life together with that as their main priority, then it could be that ‘the one’ is within your grasp. We often idealize love with spontanaeity, and for good reason. But sometimes, a little responsibility can help ease us, and know that this is the person we wish to build our life with.
While deep, burning and passionate love can be sustained for long periods of time, it does take work to do. What matters is that this person feels fresh whenever you see them, even after years. If you still get butterflies, if you still wish to impress one anohter with surprises, or if you find yourself trying to be the best you can for the sake of both of you and you’re sure they’re doing the same, you may have just found the one,
With these mature and sensible yet loving tips, you may identify the one sooner rather than later.
Inject some excitement into your relationship with these 7 tips to great date nights. Read this contributed post to find out more.
Being in a committed long-term relationship is one of the greatest things in the world. However, the natural spark of romance will inevitably fade over time, which can make date nights feel a little stale. Fear not; it is possible to inject the excitement back into those dates.
Follow these seven pointers below, and those future dates will be even more breathtaking than when you first dated.
Break Away From The Norm
The reason that many of your dates as a long-term couple feel stale is that everything feels too similar to normal life. Learn to switch things up, and the dates will become fresh and exciting once more.
This needn’t be a difficult challenge. Renting a car from RYDE for the day or weekend can turn a cruise around the city into a luxury experience for both of you. Alternatively, staying at a local hotel can work wonders without taking on the costs or time of taking a holiday abroad.
Even something as simple as having one of you turn up to ‘collect’ your date from home can change the mindset. Embrace it.
Do Something That Makes The Future Look Exciting
When you first start dating, the thoughts of what may await in the future is enough to give you butterflies. You needn’t lose those sentiments just because you’re in a long-term relationship. You just need to look for alternatives.
You needn’t be engaged to know that your relationship is heading towards marriage. It may seem a little odd, but a day of looking at potential wedding venues can be a lot of fun even if the big event isn’t on the horizon for some time.
Aside from the excitement, it shows that you are both still committed to each other for the long haul.
Or Reconnect With The Past
Alternatively, you can do the complete opposite by traveling back to the start of your relationship. Reliving the first date is undoubtedly one of the best ways to recapture that early dating magic. The excitement will return in an instant.
Recreate the photographs you took on that do to see how far you’ve come as a couple. Honestly, that’s one of the most exciting things of all, and should be cherished by both of you.
The harsh reality of life is that you probably have more responsibilities today than you did when you first started dating. You have careers, a home, and potentially children to consider. So, date nights are a commitment that may need to be planned.
Once they start, though, you can let the spontaneity flow. Create a list of date ideas and pick one at random. It might be great; it might be a washout. Either way, it’ll be memorable while giving you a chance to have fun and celebrate your love.
Start A Joint Hobby
Hobbies play an incredibly important role in our lives. While having something to enjoy with friends is great, a regular activity with your partner is a great way to keep the romance alive. Not least if you choose dance classes or something that can actively aid your sexual attraction.
This is better than a one-off date too as it is a continued commitment to each other. You’ll have a date night every week and won’t need to break the bank for it.
Face Your Fears
Facing your fears is a lot easier when you have a supportive partner by your side. So, heading off on special adventures can be a great option for your next date day. If nothing else, it’s a cheat to help get your heartbeats racing.
Theme parks are among the best options, not least because there are so many other things to see and soak in. Disney World tickets can be bought online at a cheaper rate than on the day while it’ll save you lining up. This is the type of date that will last in your memories forever.
Alternatively, real adrenaline junkies can try to organize a tandem parachute jump or bungee. For a few moments of a fear, you’ll gain a lifelong memory.
Go To A Show
Special events like sporting events or music gigs are a great way to embrace the energy of a crowd to inject magic into your life. You’ll also want to look nice without feeling the need to be as formal as you would at a restaurant.
When attending gigs, there are two great options. Either book tickets for an artist you love and that plays songs with sentimental value, or go to the local open mic night. This can be great fun while the sense of not knowing what you’ll hear makes it fresh and exciting too.
Ultimately, if you do something you love with the person you love, date nights will remain fun and exciting.
Fights don't mean the whole marriage has to crumble. This contributed post examines whether there are really any insurmountable hurdles in a marriage.
Every couple fights. Most couples have at least one or two (if not more) fights that go deep and shake your confidence in a relationship. If you’re married, these cracks can be even scarier. But that doesn’t mean you have to let the whole thing crumble. Here, we’re going to look at disagreements, wrongdoings, and fights, and whether there really are any insurmountable hurdles in a marriage.
Differences and similarities
One of the biggest issues that tend to creep up in a marriage over time is when you start to notice that not all of your plans are the same as your partner’s. The practicalities of future life, employment, where you live, children, and the core principles that make you who you are aren’t easy to discover all at once. You have to make an effort to talk about the future with your partner. Talk about specific plans, greatest desires, ambitions, and more at length. Mishaps and small fights can be nothing but pebbles on the road to growing into a better understanding and respect of one another. However, if you don’t share a vision of the future that at least meets in the middle, tension is only likely to increase as time goes on.
Get a sense of perspective
Sometimes you can see the forest for the trees. The same can be said of a marriage. You cannot be impartial, and it is nothing more than ego to believe that you can. One of the biggest benefits of marriage counseling is the chance to involve someone who doesn’t have an emotional investment in the relationship. The impartiality and lower risk of bias can help you and your spouse view things with a little more distance from a new perspective. It can help you divorce yourself from the gut reactions that turn disagreements into fights and wrong-doings into vendettas.
Listen without blame
Social relationships involve a lot of give and take. We are naturally inclined to “keep tally”, whether it’s seeing who has the upper hand, who owes what, or to assert a moral high ground. In marriages, this is extremely dangerous. Even when you have been wronged, if you want to repair the relationship, you have to listen to your partner’s concerns. Even if they sound like excuses, even if it’s for a transgression as deep as cheating, communication is crucial. You have to listen, to share your own thoughts, and repeat. In time, with enough honesty on both sides, the conceits start to fall away, and you can address the fears and insecurities that often lie at the heart of the original transgression.
Though it may be easier than ever to back out of it, your marriage commitment represents more than just a relationship with another human being. It represents your ability to commit, period. Commitment involves sacrifice and hardship, not just agreeing to a long-term status quo. There are some insurmountable hurdles in marriages, that can’t be denied. But you have to try to surmount them before you can make that judgment in good faith.
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SMS Instructions: To send a text message to the host :
1- From your cellular phone, open a new text message
2- Enter the destination number : 514800
3- Start message
4- Send your message.
in St. John's, Newfoundland
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes