Living together, or a long-distance relationship, still dating or married- whatever your relationship status may be, for it to prosper, you must learn about each other. Don’t you agree?
It could get very challenging to keep your relationship healthy without understanding each other's likes, dislikes, and preferences. Therefore, you and your partner must try to learn about love languages.
As the name suggests, love language is the way in which you both communicate your love for each other. Ideally, there are 5 languages to express your love and feelings:
So, let’s learn about these languages in detail and explore how you can incorporate them into your relationship.
Words of Affirmation
Usually, people with this language feel loved and appreciated through verbal acknowledgment. They tend to believe that words of encouragement, appreciation, compliments, and support are the perfect way to express love.
No, it need not be verbal only! Instead, you can express your thoughts and feelings through texts, handwritten notes, over the phone, or even as a social media post.
The second language is using physical touch to express your love. It includes meaningful touches such as holding hands, kissings, hugging, cuddling, love-making, etc. It gives them a feeling of being connected and helps build a deeper connection.
And the best part? You can work together to build strong intimacy.
Plan a date night and decorate the room with romantic lights, scented candles, and music. You can also take a step further by including role-playing or maybe even trying Sucking vibrator to take your romance up a notch. These little things will help your relationship flourish.
Most couples desire to take time out of their busy schedule to spend time with their lover. It need not be a fancy date night or a vacation trip abroad. Instead, simple text messages explaining your day, regular calls (even if it's just for a minute), or cooking together is more than enough to express your feelings.
Spending quality time implies you care about them and are always there for each other. Not to mention, it also ensures that you give undivided attention to your partner.
Acts of Service
People who resonate with this language believe in the phrase “Action speaks louder than the words.” In simple terms, it means doing things for your partner to make their lives more convenient. The act could be as simple as doing dishes, setting the room temperature at an ideal level, or opening the car door.
Lastly, as the name suggests, give thoughtful gifts, handmade or otherwise, expressing your emotions. This indicates that you want your partner to feel happy and loved all the time. Plus, the gifts act as symbolism for your genuine feelings.
These are five love languages that you must learn about. Understand what your partner likes and make them feel special with your efforts. Understanding these languages will help you communicate well. And, as you might already know, communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
Every relationship stumbles at some point. Continue reading to learn 5 proactive ways you can help your relationship.
Believe it or not, there is no such thing as “the perfect relationship." So things can and will go wrong from time to time.
Fortunately, there are some things that you can do proactively to fix the situation so you don’t experience a full-blown breakdown. Let’s take a look, shall we?
Being “responsible” doesn’t mean having the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time. It just means being “responsive” - that is, putting a filter between your unconscious reaction to situations and what you actually say and do.
For example, let’s say that you’re a person in the habit of getting into shouting matches with your partner. It happens. But being responsible or responsive would mean avoiding any raised voices and just expressing yourself naturally. Ultimately, it’s about letting go of yourself a little and allowing things to develop more organically.
Create Some Space
When I was looking for a divorce attorney near me, the main motivation was surprising. People don’t split up because they want to get away from each other completely. That rarely happens. What they want is a little more space - the freedom to stretch their legs and enjoy themselves uninhibited. They want to preserve a part of themselves that’s outside of the relationship.
Creating space, therefore, is essential. Space isn’t the same as distance. But if you find yourself having the same conversations over and over, you might want to try spending some time apart, just enjoying other things in the world. You don’t have to be joined at the hip the whole time.
Take Time To Cool Off
You can sometimes get angry in a relationship, particularly when you feel like your partner isn’t meeting your needs in the way they should. Instead of getting confrontational and saying something you’ll regret, go and cool off somewhere.
Once you calm down, you can think about the situation more rationally. That way, you can consider the best needs of the partner while also finding a solution that works for you both.
Say Things More Gently
It’s not just what we say that matters, but also how we say it. You can have two conversations with identical content, but how they feel emotionally can differ tremendously. If you’re shouting at each other about your frustrations, it is going to create a different atmosphere compared to just talking about them.
Being gentle with your partner is the same as being kind to them. The people you love don’t want you to handle them aggressively. They want you to know them. And that means understanding how to deal with them delicately in a way that is appropriate for them.
Be More Value-Driven
Lastly, you might want to try being more value-driven in your relationship. Sometimes, you can feel let down by your partner if they aren’t being truthful. Talk to them about the things that matter to you, such as support, honesty, commitment and consideration. Find out how they relate to these ideas and which, if any, are important to them.
Lessons In Compassion
Looking for relationship advice? Consider all of your options before you move forward. Read this post to discover some pros and cons to asking for help.
When you’re in a rut, there’s a temptation to look to others for advice. People who have been through the same thing and have relationship experience can enlighten you on how to proceed. Of course, asking others for help is also very dangerous. There is no way to tell if their words are helpful or harmful until you’ve put them into practice, and then it might be too late. You need to find the perfect balance between making your own decisions and following the path well-trodden, and the best way to understand the pros and cons.
Here are two each to consider when you start experiencing relationship troubles.
Pro: They Can Empathize
A shoulder to cry on is always a nice feeling because it’s healthy to vent. However, couples who have been through the same thing can empathize, and that’s worth its weight in gold. Sometimes, there are generic things you need to do to get your relationship back on track, and they can talk you through them. Plus, there will be caveats that they figured out along the way which should come in handy. Without the need to stumble through in the dark and grope around, you can avoid saying and doing irreparable things.
Con: People Aren’t Transparent
Sadly, too many couples like to show off and make out as if they are the gold standard of love when they are in as much trouble. They shouldn’t throw stones from their glasshouse, yet they do - stones of hypocritical love. And, they do this while attending marriage counseling classes and trying to repair their damaged relationship. There is nothing wrong with giving advice, but it should be truthful and in the proper context. Otherwise, you might make the same mistake and end up in the same boat on a very dodgy looking creek.
Pro: They Want The Best For You
Often, the people we turn to for advice are the ones we love. It’s not like you’re going to stop a stranger on the street and ask their opinion. As a result, you know that everything you hear comes from the heart. They love you and want to help you be happy, which is why there is nothing untoward. Thinking with your head is the best policy, yet, sometimes, the heart has to rule over everything. To see it in real-time might inspire an epiphany which goes on to save your relationship.
Con: They’re Not Experts
The flip side of the coin is this: they amateurs. Sure, they’ve been in a successful relationship for years, but they have never stopped to analyze it. As a result, they don’t know the forensic details like a marriage counselor with qualifications and years of experience. A piece of good advice is only helpful when the process is on point as you might try and apply it to areas of your relationship where it isn’t applicable.
Listening to advice from others is comforting because it proves you’re not alone. Still, it’s essential to understand the limits of your confiders and seek professional help too.
Read this contributed post to discover ways you can add some spice to your marriage!
We all know how it is. When you begin dating, you are all too familiar with those feelings of butterflies in your stomach and when you see each other, you just can’t wait to get your hands all over one another.
But as time goes on, you become more used to each other, and though your love it still deep, the spark just seems to be gone. So, what to you do to spice things up? Here are a few ideas.
When you were young, the two of you went out together often. But now, there barely seems to be time for you to get together. And even if there is time, you have to think about getting baby sitters for the kids and the expense of treating yourselves to a restaurant or movie.
Well, for the sake of your marriage, it may be time to throw practicality out the door. Even taking some time out to take a walk in the park or sit on the hood of your car watching the stars can be a great way for the two of you to rekindle that old flame. And no matter how much money you may spend…it’s still a lot cheaper than a divorce!
Bring Sexy Back
When marriages start to become ho-hum, one of the first places couples will feel it is in the bedroom. Limited time and having the kids around makes it hard for you to find the time to be intimate, and as you have grown used to each other, the spark just seems to be gone.
Well, there are little things you can do to bring that spark back. Send each other sexy texts during the day. Take time out to look attractive. Take little moments to whisper in each other’s ears. Touch each other often. Go shopping together for sexy toys and lingerie. Try something new in the bedroom.
These are all things you can do to bring sex back on the mind to ensure that you both make it a priority in your marriage.
After you are married for a while, anniversaries can start to seem ho-hum. Many couples barely acknowledge these milestones while others forget about them entirely.
This year, when your anniversary is a few months away, start thinking of planning something big. A vacation or a night on the town can be great ways to celebrate, but throwing a big party with family and friends will surely bring some of the excitement back.
Anniversary parties can be small cocktail affairs or big ragers so decide which direction you want to take it in. But whatever you do, be sure to hire a band that can provide the right mood. There are many cover bands who can do anything from sultry jazz standards to rock and pop hits assuring they will be right for any type of event.
A band is sure to get you and your husband, along with your guests, on the dance floor for slow, romantic numbers as well as upbeat, energetic tunes.
Don’t Forget the Small Stuff
Lastly, don’t forget to be kind to each other. Little gestures of kindness, like turning down the bed, helping each other around the house, or just saying thank you can go a long way in letting your spouse know they are still loved and appreciated.
The flame of many marriages can fizzle as the years go on, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep your love going strong. Take time out to be with your spouse, keep things sexy, celebrate your love and show each other you care and you are sure to have a marriage that will stand up to the test of time.
Your opinion matters. Read more to learn how to make sure your voice is heard in your relationship.
While relationships are a place to love that person and share life with them, they can run on power dynamics over time. There’s usually one person who takes charge, or who is meant to at least. Sometimes, it’s a pure democracy. Ideally, both are assertive in their own manner, and is willing to discuss anything with the other person. This is why people often say ‘opposites attract,’ because if you imagine two puzzle pieces fitting together snugly, you need one person of a certain shape to best connect to someone of another.
However, it might be that despite being an assertive person, you usually err too much on the side of the ‘democratic ideal’ whenever you’re connected to someone in this manner. It might be that learning techniques to be more ‘positively assertive,’ can be more than worthwhile, and help the relationship flourish once more. We’re not talking of the need to boss the other around, because that will only breed animosity. Rather, it’s important to consider how you could be more playful, decide more things, and perhaps actualize yourself more in the relationship instead of letting the other do all the work.
Here’s what that might look like:
A Token Of Appreciation
Words can often be a great idea when trying to communicate your love, but often, actions speak louder. A token of appreciation could be many things, but for the most part, it is best embodied in gifts and experiences. For example, check out Tacori’s limited edition jewelry collection to ensure your partner feels amazing during their upcoming birthday celebrations. Something handcrafted can often work brilliantly too, as it emphasizes someone willing and ready to work on the love you both share. Simply giving a gift, sometimes at random, sometimes in a targeted fashion can show you’re always willing to win their approval and know that even after marriage, sweeping them off their feet is never a finished thing.
Often, the worst thing to say is ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ It might be that your partner is tired of choosing where you eat, what movie you see, or what you do for the evening. Being a little more assertive and actually more truthful to that you wish to do can help you take charge, and that’s exciting for the other person. After all, they want to know what helps you enjoy life, and they wish to share your personality. If you leave everything up to them, you’ll struggle to make any progress at all.
Don’t Skirt Around Topics
It can often be quite easy to just jump around topics and sweep them under the rug. But actually, being more assertive means tackling them head-on. Perhaps your partner embarrassed you in front of their friends, and you wish to let them know you don’t appreciate that. Perhaps you are tired of always doing something their way. Perhaps you want them to help out more around the house. If you bottle feelings, you’re just going to have them explode out later in an unhealthy manner. To this end, you might find yourself worried. It’s always best to just communicate well. This way, bad relationships will end and good relationships will bloom.
With these tips, you’re sure to be more positively assertive in your relationships.
Read 4 easy ways to reconnect with estranged family in this contributed post.
With the Christmas season being just around the corner, there really has never been a better time for you to reconnect with your family. If you find this difficult because your family is estranged or because you don’t talk anymore then you have nothing to worry about. There are things that you can do to try and bring everyone together again.
Reach Out More than Once
It’s so important that you reach out more than once. The main reason for this is because relationships can deteriorate over the years and this can be made worse by stubbornness and even lack of communication. You may feel as though you have been wronged by them, or vice versa. You may also be convinced that the other should be making the effort and this can make the situation even worse. If you want to avoid a communication deadlock, then you need to try and extend an olive branch more than once. Let your anger go, and really make the effort to try and see it from the other person’s point of view.
Give, or Ask for Forgiveness
You need to be able to move past whatever happened. If you know that something is holding you back from meeting up with the other person, then you need to stop this from coming between you. Tell them that you forgive them, or admit to the mistakes that you may have made. This can be a fantastic way for you to build bridges and it can also be a great way for you to show that you are there for them. If you want to meet up with them then you may want to rent a house for a family reunion.
Talk About It
When you have come to the point where you can forgive the other person, or where they can forgive you, you then need to try and talk about what happened. You don’t need to ignore the elephant in the room. Instead, you need to chat about what went wrong and even talk about the way that it made you feel as well. It’s so important that you don’t argue here, and that you really put the work in to try and explain the actions that you took at the time. When you do this, you can then reach a higher level of understanding that could bring your family together again.
Plan Something Special
When you are on talking terms, plan something special. You could try and put the Christmas tree up together or you can even try and do something you always wanted to do when you were younger. This can help you to remember the good times and it can also help you to really make the most out of the time you have with one another. If you don’t feel like arranging something like this then consider spending some time with your family and crack open a good bottle of scotch. After all, times like this need to be celebrated and the sooner you are able to understand this, the better.
There are many factors to consider when deciding to live together with someone, Do you know what they are? Read this contributed post to find out more.
The title of this article sounds judgemental, but it’s really not. Asking yourself this question is absolutely a necessity no matter how in love or well supported you are with your lover. Of course, there are some circumstances where moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend might be a no-brainer, depending on your current situation. For example, you might decide that since you have a child on the way, it’s best to set up that personal family home in a secure, stable manner, and really try to make a go of things. Many people have done this, and many people have succeeded in crafting a beautiful family home, even though it perhaps wasn’t as planned as it could have been.
But of course, this is a highly specific circumstance, and it may or may not apply to you. If you can, it’s always best to consider deeply when the potential of moving in together comes up. If you manage to simply take the time to consider your position, you can either move forward with your plans enjoying greater confidence or potentially avoid a mistake until you once again consider it.
Consider our simple list of advice to try and decide whether or not this is a good personal decision to make:
What is the financial history and handling like within your relationship? How has this been in the past? Perhaps a stumble here or there isn’t too worrying as we all experience problems from time to time. However, if your other half has been evicted at any time in the last five to ten years, or if they regularly overspend or miss their rental payments, there is no way that tying your financial history to this person is worthwhile.
If you are the person without this sense of financial reliability, it might be that you’re going to struggle to do so in a relationship. Couples often spend MORE when together, not less, and it’s often easy for bad habits to become twice as echoed if you both share them. It might even be that you only have a middling lack of financial handling in the recent past, but if your other half hasn’t challenged you on this (especially if you’re close enough to consider moving in together,) it might be that they aren’t quite the fundamental rock you expect them to be to help you manage your spending issues, nor should you expect them to be.
Financial untying yourself from someone else and vice-versa, especially when two names are on a lease or two contracts become one can become messy if the agreement dissolves. If you’ve ever seen Judge Judy, you’ll know that lawsuits between jaded ex-lovers who moved in together two quickly and shared each and every asset they owned is perhaps 90% of the lawsuits brought to the Judges panel.
It’s neither smart, romantic or clever to throw away your potential financial security to proceed with moving in. You can live semi-permanently with someone without having to tie yourselves together on one lease, or moving together in an apartment signed by both of you.
Of course, if you both have good credit, a history of on-time and well planned financial decisions, and you trust the other person, you can progress with greater confidence. We’d recommend knowing the person and their financial behaviours for at least two years before moving in, although more is often better. Once taking the decision to move forward, take another six months to verify everything financially, assessing and reassessing your eligibility for this life situation. Just like the waiting period after deciding on a tattoo design, time can often bring a refreshed sense of clarity in the long-term if we give ourselves enough time.
Of course, financial stability is one thing, but it’s nothing without the emotional glue that holds a relationship together. Young couples often think that love will last forever, but often it’s maturity that tempers the fires of love and helps retain that sense of rationality at the end of the day, even through tumultuous times. If your relationship often falls into an on-off form of connectivity, then perhaps fusing yourselves together with the financial responsibility of a home is not quite the best idea, even if focusing on a humble apartment at this stage.
It does seem to be somewhat of a cultural attitude that most couples fight and go through long, down periods, but that’s not true at all. Small grievances and annoyances are normal, but they must be talked through. If yourself and your partner have large blowouts, even one a year, it’s a sign that the relationship might not deal with the strain of maintaining and sustaining the funding of a household, no matter how humble.
It’s easy to see that having a child to ‘fix’ a relationship is an absurdly stupid move for most people, but moving in together can be nearly as toxic for both involved. If you haven’t had an argument or large disagreement in your relationship you haven’t worked through immediately, and you trust each other even in the harder times, it might be that you are suitable to consider this step more appropriately.
Emotions vs. Cold Hard Logic
While young love or even mature love can feel like a river of emotions you love to become swept in, this is never the right time to make life decisions that can impact you both. This isn’t to say you need to feel completely detached and mechanical in your decisions for the future, but you do need to temper the positives of your relationships with the worries of the future if you hope to make a good decision. It also cannot be done out of a sense of hurried pacing.
A good analogy is to imagine what you’re like when taking care of your weekly grocery purchases. If you head to the store while hungry, it’s likely you’ll purchase much more than you need. There are clinical studies performed that prove this resoundingly well, but the common sense of this situation is hard to argue in the first place. Consider how this might apply to your current situation, and you’ll have a good idea of what we mean.
Considering the appropriate plan can be worthwhile for now. HDB flats for couples are often the best starting, stepping stone on your path to joining the property market together. It’s best to stay humble. If you can both stay aware of your responsibilities and can temper your expectations to begin with, it might be that drawing up a long-term plan could be very appropriate to do.
Start small. Appreciate what you have. Focus on working together to better your career and financial situations instead of spending on the highest and most comforting residence you can right now. When pooling an income you may be able to achieve something nicer than you would have solo in the first place. Of course, a couple will only need one bed, so it might be that someone moving into the other’s apartment could be a better and cheaper alternative than to simply find a new place together.
Consider compromise. How might both you working commutes be affected? Did you want to live abroad for a certain amount of years? Where are both of your families? Do you have anyone else aside from the relationship participants to turn to for help if you’re struggling a little? Drawing up a set of rough plans of what life will be like on a daily, practical level can help you understand that which you’re getting involved in, giving you the red, amber or green lights to either stop, stay cautious and patient, or proceed with your decision. When contextualized like this, it’s often easy for couples to retain a sense of rationality about their potential timeline of moving, and that’s only ever a good thing.
With these tips, you’re sure to enjoy a more informed decision, no matter your final analysis.
Why Sex Toys Are A Two Way Street
Would you like to introduce sex toys into your relationship but don't know where to start? Read this contributed post to learn how.
For years there has been a push to introduce vibrators into sex play for women. Men have been encouraged to suppress their own feelings towards this and to focus on their partners. Studies have shown that a greater proportion of men who have used dildos with their partners report lower levels of sexual satisfaction than those who have never done so. As psychologists tried to unpick the reasons for this they discovered it was yet another case of men not feeling able to speak up about their own desires. Deeper studies discovered that those men who used sex toys and did communicate with their partners had the best sexual satisfaction of all. The best way for both partners to have mind blowing sex is for the use of toys to be a two way street and for everyone to communicate effectively.
Talk, Talk And Talk Some More
Good sex can be spontaneous sex but for anything that is different from the norm, you need to talk it through; especially when it is the first time. BDSM, role-play and sex toys cannot be introduced unilaterally and it will only be fun for everyone if it is consensual. If you connect with a partner, you can discuss fantasies, or ask questions before, during or after sex. The best time is when it feels right and you are both horny. Don’t jump in like a bull in a china shop but keep it subtle: “you know what would be hot sometime…?” Equally think about the time and place; what works when you are engaged in sex might get a very different and very negative reaction when you are having dinner. Just start with what interests you such as watching each other masturbate and then take it from there.
Go Beyond The Vibrator
Advice on sex play often focuses on improving the experience for the woman. Bullet vibrators on the clitoris or G-Spot, or large penetrative vibrating dildos are not the only sex toys out there. It is important to include these, you need to do your part in providing more variety for her, but she is not the only person in the relationship. It may be that you find these toys exciting and want them used on you; only through being honest and trusting can this happen.
It Is Time To Reclaim Your Pleasure
There are a wide range of penis stimulating sex toys available. The best known, and most flexible, of these is the Fleshlight. The beauty of the Fleshlight is that, like vibrators, you have a huge variety available. The orifices can be surreal or sculpted from the vaginas of porn stars but the interiors are where the real action is. You can choose between highly realistic feeling sleeves or ones so intense that they threaten to make you blow your top in seconds. Fleshlights are not just about pure stimulation, they can play an important role in your relationship too. Some women experience intense pain with penetration and the fleshlight can help to bring you together. Some of the sleeves are designed for stamina training and your partner can use them to tease and train you; improving both your sex lives.
Sex toys are not something to be afraid of, and neither is talking. By talking about your feelings and desires you will not only make your relationship better for you but for her too.
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