Blog of Frank Kermit of Frank Talks

Mid-Life Dating Doesn't Have to Be A Crisis

11/28/2018

Do you find yourself dating at age 50 or more?
Read these 4 Tips explored in this contributed post, to learn how to make your mid-life dating a positive experience.

The Right Mindset Can Make Dating After 50 A Positive Experience

Divorce rates for those older than 50 in Canada have risen over 30%. This seems to be in line with international patterns, as divorce is up similarly for older Americans as well. Around the world, divorce after 50 is becoming increasingly common. After leaving a long term relationship, dating during mid-life, in the new world of trends and rules, can be very intimidating. But it doesn't have to be an insurmountable challenge. With the right mindset, dating can be a path to meet new people and have adventures. Some of the adventures might be less than perfect, but a positive attitude can make a big difference.

Try to Stay Positive

Dating at any age can be hilarious, exciting, traumatic -- but mostly, fun. At the very least, it should provide you with an amusing story or two. It can definitely help to stay open minded and attempt to be light hearted about the whole thing. Perhaps accept a date from someone you might not "normally" go out with. Expand your horizons. Try going to new places. The important thing is not to focus not on finding a long lasting relationship, but on just getting out and having fun. As counter intuitive as it might seem, keeping your eyes on the big prize -- finding another love of your life -- puts too much pressure on the situation. It's better to think of dating as just a part of reality that has its own ups and downs.

Age Is Just a Number

Lately, people have been saying that 50 is the new 30, but on the whole, your age is simply not important to what you can and cannot do. Divorce after 50 presents a range of testing and unique challenges for sure, but going out to a dance club doesn't have to be one of them. You are allowed to do other things to enjoy yourself like exploring new places, going to a bar, and even spending the night with someone new. Don't worry so much about how old you are. Think about what you want to do, and do it. You will find there are plenty of people your age out there actually still living their lives to the fullest.

Make the First Move

One fantastic thing about dating in the modern world is that women no longer have to wait to be asked out. The rules have changed since some of us were dating in our 20s and 30s. Overall, though, both men and women in their mid-lives should feel confident about taking initiative. Ask someone to dance. Send a flirty text on an internet dating site. It's possible that you might be rejected sometimes, but other times, your feelings will be reciprocated, and that builds confidence.

Try Online Dating

If you're in your 50s, online dating might sound like a desperate move, but the stigma has completely gone out of it. More and more people meet this way. There are many online dating sites from which to choose, some specializing in ethnic or religious groups. Remember, you don't have to be looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. Right. You just need to be amenable to trying to have a fun night out.
Remember in your new adventures to always be safe. It's prudent to meet people for the first time in a public place, for example. You might also want to let a friend know where and when you will be out, and call him or her when you get back. As long as you are taking care of yourself and allow yourself to enjoy new places and new company, dating doesn't have to be scary. It can be a fun, transformational part of your life as a single person.

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Remembering Dennis Murphy

11/23/2018

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Dennis Murphy 1946 - 2018

Dennis Murphy (BA 67), who played an integral role in advancing the reputation of Concordia’s Department of Communication Studies,
passed away on November 20, 2018, in Montreal. He was 72.

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Extraordinary Destinations To Have Your Wedding

11/21/2018

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Are you engaged? Be inspired and plan an extraordinary destination wedding after you read this post!

wedding couple making hearts with their hands

Consider Travelling To Another Place To Have Your Wedding

Congratulations on your engagement! We are sure that now you are officially engaged, you are about to start planning your wedding. It doesn’t matter what type of wedding you want to have, you might be thinking about traveling abroad to have your ceremony. If this is the case, then it is a good thing that you have come across this page because we are going to talk about some extraordinary places for you to have your wedding. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to look across the seas for your own wedding. Let’s take a look at some ideas.

France

Have you ever thought about having your wedding in Paris? The City of Love is a beautiful and romantic place for you to celebrate your wedding if you can manage this. There are lots of places and picturesque settings where you could enjoy your big day around Paris. If you go online, you will find a whole list of stunning destinations with gorgeous views that anyone would be lucky to see on their wedding day.

Paris is not the only place that you can go for a beautiful wedding in France. You can go to Normandy where there are a variety of wedding venues on offer, or you could head over to Loire Valley. There really is a whole range of places to choose from in this wonderful country.

Italy

Whether you think of Venice or Rome when we say Italy, you are sure to find a beautiful location to host your wedding. Italy is a very popular destination when it comes to people deciding where to have their wedding, and this is for a good reason. There are so many beautiful fields, buildings and backdrops to choose from here, it hard to see why everyone doesn’t have their wedding here.

One of the things that you can do here is head to the Amalfi Coast for your wedding. This stunning location provides exceptional views and would be the perfect backdrop for any wedding. Don’t forget to hire your Amalfi coast photographer though, you aren’t going to want to miss a single second, and if you have the photos, you don’t have to.

Florida

A Disney Wedding Is the Ultimate For Any Disney Fan

For Disney fanatics, you might want to consider heading over to Disney World. Their wedding pavilion rivals any other destination that you could think of if Disney is something that you are in love with. Imagine getting married in their beautiful Pavillion and then heading straight into the Magic Kingdom to celebrate your wedding day. For a true Disney fan, it really isn’t going to get any better than this.

Disney offers a wedding package for those of you who are interested in something like this. If you go on their website, you will find more details about this including price and availability.

We hope that our list of extraordinary places to have your wedding has inspired you to have your wedding abroad. It can be quite tough to manage sometimes, but the beautiful location is worth every second.

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Is It Worth Fixing A Broken Relationship?

11/21/2018

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Is it worth fixing a broken relationship? There are some specific things you need to know first. Read more in this contributed post.

silhouette of man standing, woman sitting on floor

Relationships Require Effort

Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. Despite promising intentions at the start, when love rules and the other person is seen through rose-tinted glasses, there will be problems that set in. Petty arguments will arise. Resentments will surface. Habits will start to grate. And the once blossoming relationship may start to wilt. That's not the end of the relationship, of course.

With effort, conversation, and the attempt to recapture the love that was present early on, a relationship can be solidified. It can be repaired before further damage sets in. However, if little effort is expended, on either side, then the relationship will start to suffer, and may eventually become broken. Where once there was love and friendship, there will now be animosity. And if this is compounded by certain behaviours such as unfaithfulness and abuse, then the relationship is probably over.

So, is it worth trying to fix a broken relationship? Yes and no.

The relationship may have to end if…

- One or both people in the relationship is abusive to the other.
- There is a lack of repentance about wrong behaviour.
-Resentments continue to fester with no attempts to communicate them
- One or both people continue to be unfaithful.
- There are signs that there is no longer love in the relationship.

Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it is the right thing to do, even in a marriage. Divorce firms, such as The Vendt Law Firm, are probably the best port of call. We say 'probably' because we don't want to talk about ending a relationship where there is still hope. However, sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that yes, the chances of the relationship recovering are slim to none. When the relationship is toxic because of yourself or that other person, then saying goodbye may be the answer.

On the other hand, if there are signs that the relationship can be mended, then every effort needs to be taken.

The relationship can be mended if…

- Love hasn't gone away, and there is still a longing to be together.
- Promises have been broken, but attempts have been made to repent and start again.
- Previous hardships in the relationship have been overcome successfully.
- It's difficult to imagine a life without the other person being present.
- There is still genuine affection for the other person, despite the struggles.

If any of the signs mentioned are still relevant, then there is still a chance. Love can overcome the obstacles in the way, provided both people in the relationship are willing to make the effort. With a desire to rekindle the love that may have faded, there is still hope. And where there is hope, there is a future.

Many people are reluctant to end relationships because they worry that they will not be able to find somebody better in their life. That’s the wrong approach to take. There are literally billions of people out there, and some of them will be much more suited to you than your current partner.

However, if you want to manifest your soulmate with ease, you’ll have to focus on yourself as well. That means being more giving, more loving, and putting the other person first, even when it’s hard to do so. If things like money and status are more important to you than intimacy, you’ll always struggle to find a partner who makes sense for you.

So, what about you? Are you reading this because you are in a struggling relationship? If there are still signs of love, don't give up just yet. Speak to a relationship counsellor if necessary, and work to get things back on track. On the other hand, if the relationship has become toxic and you identified with what we said earlier, then it may be time to call it quits. These aren't easy decisions to make, but we hope you find the right answer if you are currently in this difficult position.

Let us know your thoughts on this difficult subject.

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How To Get Back Into Dating After A Long-Term Relationship

11/21/2018

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Read these dating tips to help you get back into the world of dating in this informative contributed post.

Dating Doesn't Have To Be Scary

Dating is tough, and if you're just getting back into it after being in a long-term relationship, it can be seriously daunting and downright scary at times. Not only do you feel like you're supposed to have all this behind you, but you may still be struggling with being single after the realization of your relationship not working actually sets in.

Add to this all the new rules and trends in dating, plus the pressure that seems to be on people in the dating world, it can just all seem like too much and make you want to run and hide under your duvet.

However, with this post, we want to offer some reassurance that dating, although it may take some awkward encounters, it doesn't have to be so scary, and nowadays with so many options available for finding love, then it can actually be quite fun and can lead you on some amazing adventures with people who you'd never have imagined you'd meet - as with everything it's all about the mindset you approach it with.

So, to help you navigate the new dating world, we've offered up some hopefully useful tips that you can use on your search for love.

Get Clear About What You Want And Don't Want:

One of the biggest mistakes that people make with dating is that they approach it with no plan. They get on Google to find free gay chat lines or download the latest dating apps when feeling lonely, sad and frustrated with their lack of relationship, but they don't really take any time to sit back and consider what kind of relationship they'd like to have and what kind of person they'd like to meet. Making sure you do this will save you time and heartache down the road, but if you know what you're looking for and what you won't tolerate, then you're boosting your chances of finding a suitable match all the quicker.

Spend Time On Your Profiles:

One thing you'll find when you look on dating apps is that, although someone may look great, they've spent very little, or absolutely no time in creating their profile. Nowadays your profile is the first contact any potential suitors are going to have with you and if you want to have a date with someone, then make sure they don't just go after you for your looks, spend time on your profile and help them get to know a bit more about the real you.

Start A Conversation:

Again, a big problem with dating apps is the amount of people who just gather matches but don't reply to messages or even start a conversation. In order to increase your chances of finding love, you're going to have to put some effort into it and this involves actually talking to people.

Be Yourself:

It may sound awfully cliche, but a cliche is usually one because it's the truth. Yes, it's always good to put your best side forward on a first date and when getting to know someone, but this doesn't mean being fake. Be yourself if you want someone to like you for who you are.

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Easy Ways to Reconnect with Estranged Family

11/19/2018

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Read 4 easy ways to reconnect with estranged family in this contributed post.

With the Christmas season being just around the corner, there really has never been a better time for you to reconnect with your family. If you find this difficult because your family is estranged or because you don’t talk anymore then you have nothing to worry about. There are things that you can do to try and bring everyone together again.

Reach Out More than Once

It’s so important that you reach out more than once. The main reason for this is because relationships can deteriorate over the years and this can be made worse by stubbornness and even lack of communication. You may feel as though you have been wronged by them, or vice versa. You may also be convinced that the other should be making the effort and this can make the situation even worse. If you want to avoid a communication deadlock, then you need to try and extend an olive branch more than once. Let your anger go, and really make the effort to try and see it from the other person’s point of view.

Reach Out More Than Once

Give, or Ask for Forgiveness

You need to be able to move past whatever happened. If you know that something is holding you back from meeting up with the other person, then you need to stop this from coming between you. Tell them that you forgive them, or admit to the mistakes that you may have made. This can be a fantastic way for you to build bridges and it can also be a great way for you to show that you are there for them. If you want to meet up with them then you may want to rent a house for a family reunion.

Talk About It

When you have come to the point where you can forgive the other person, or where they can forgive you, you then need to try and talk about what happened. You don’t need to ignore the elephant in the room. Instead, you need to chat about what went wrong and even talk about the way that it made you feel as well. It’s so important that you don’t argue here, and that you really put the work in to try and explain the actions that you took at the time. When you do this, you can then reach a higher level of understanding that could bring your family together again.

Plan Something Special Together

Plan Something Special

When you are on talking terms, plan something special. You could try and put the Christmas tree up together or you can even try and do something you always wanted to do when you were younger. This can help you to remember the good times and it can also help you to really make the most out of the time you have with one another. If you don’t feel like arranging something like this then consider spending some time with your family and crack open a good bottle of scotch. After all, times like this need to be celebrated and the sooner you are able to understand this, the better.

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Are Long-Distance Relationships Worth All The Effort and Cost?

11/14/2018

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Long Distance Relationships are not easy! Discover how to make your Long Distance Relationship work in this contributed post.

Long Distance Relationships Require Dedication From Both People Involved

Thanks to social media, video calling, and mobile technology, it has never been easier to connect with people all over the world. That has made it easier than ever before to stay in close communication with someone you love who lives far away.

While keeping in touch may be simpler than it used to be, that doesn't mean that long-distance relationships are any less stressful than they were prior to the rise of the digital age. It is not impossible to maintain a healthy relationship over some distance. However, it is very difficult and requires a lot of dedication from both parties involved.

There's a Financial Cost to Long-Distance Love

While you may no longer need to pay exorbitant long-distance phone call costs, there are still many expenses associated with a long-distance relationship. The primary one, of course, is travel. Whether you invest in your own transport, or choose to take a bus, a boat, or a plane, traveling frequently to see your significant other results in a lot of expenses. Additionally, you will likely incur other costs while visiting, as you will both want to make your trip special, especially if it's the first time you're meeting in person.

Over the course of a year, a long-distance relationship can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to maintain, depending on where you live and how often you try to see each other. You'll also have to spend a lot of time sending texting, writing emails, video chatting, and otherwise communicating digitally with someone you wish you could see in person. It's important to be realistic about the amount of money and effort required to sustain a romantic bond in a long-distance relationship.

If You Believe It's Worth the Cost, Then It is

Love isn't rational. You can't control the fact that you have intense feelings for someone who lives far from you. If they return those feelings and you both agree that the effort of a long-distance relationship is worth it, then it can be worth a try. Do your best to avoid misunderstandings, discuss expectations about communication and fidelity, and prepare for some challenges along the way.

When you really care about someone, even the stress of a long-distance relationship becomes worth it. Although there are a lot of costs involved, from the emotional toll of feeling lonely too the expenses involved in traveling to see one another, if you truly have strong feelings for the other person, it's worth the cost.

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