Blog of Frank Kermit of Frank Talks

How To Know Your Worth

4/16/2021

Self love is based on more than your achievements. Keep reading to learn 3 ways to help you discover your own self worth and share it with others.

Show Others You Value Yourself

Many of us can struggle to understand and care for our own worth. We often think that our self-respect needs to be predicated on achievements, or our behavior. Of course, this last point isn’t that strange to consider, if you’re continually lying to people, failing to meet your responsibilities and struggling to move forward, then it’s not hard to lose a little of your self-regard.

But that’s not always the healthiest way forward. For instance, someone suffering from addiction will only struggle further if they repeatedly chastise themselves, as the first step to them getting help is admitting they need it and that they are worth of it. As you can see, self-worth is deeper and more important than we may give it credit for.

But how can you know your worth? After all, not all of us are in life or death situations like this, but we may simply be dealing with confidence issues, or wish to change our direction anew in life, or perhaps we just want to validate ourselves after our partner has repeatedly failed to do so in a bad relationship. In our guide, we hope to help you:

Practice Self-Love

It’s hard to know your self-worth if you do little to affirm it. Sometimes, practicing it in actions, not with words, can help. For instance, going out and exercising and treating yourself well with nutrition shows that you are the kind of person who is worth being taken care of. Additionally, practicing self-love by taking it easy, meditating, learning the power of ‘no’ or simply taking yourself to a show you like to see (even if your friends aren’t interested) can be a great idea. These are the matters we end up remembering going forward.

Know Your Boundaries

Being able to understand our boundaries, and more importantly, being able to enforce them properly is also a good idea. Knowing your boundaries is the means by which we can turn down social dates if we need to, or to take a mental health day by booking a sick day from working from time to time. It’s in telling our partner that we want to be more involved in the financial planning or that we need the morning after pill, or in being able to try something like veganism or without apology and without explanation to those who may disapprove. Knowing your boundaries helps you become a healthier, happier and more wholesome person.

Sustain Good Friendships

It’s important to sustain good friendships, because we take more direction and influence from our closest friends than we may imagine. Taking the time to sustain good friendships and making sure that people are good to you, and you are good to them can allow you to feel less alone, as we are social beings and deserve to have those who support us. Having friends who we can rely on is also an essentially important activity, providing us with the means to better ourselves appropriately, and also feeling part of a tight unit. That helps us know our worth as having close relationships allows us to fully blossom.

With this advice, we hope you can more readily know your worth, which is no doubt bountiful.

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When Things Go Wrong In Relationships, Do This

4/15/2021

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Every relationship stumbles at some point. Continue reading to learn 5 proactive ways you can help your relationship.

Believe it or not, there is no such thing as “the perfect relationship." So things can and will go wrong from time to time.

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do proactively to fix the situation so you don’t experience a full-blown breakdown. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Be Responsible

Think Before You Speak

Being “responsible” doesn’t mean having the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time. It just means being “responsive” - that is, putting a filter between your unconscious reaction to situations and what you actually say and do.

For example, let’s say that you’re a person in the habit of getting into shouting matches with your partner. It happens. But being responsible or responsive would mean avoiding any raised voices and just expressing yourself naturally. Ultimately, it’s about letting go of yourself a little and allowing things to develop more organically.

Create Some Space

When I was looking for a divorce attorney near me, the main motivation was surprising. People don’t split up because they want to get away from each other completely. That rarely happens. What they want is a little more space - the freedom to stretch their legs and enjoy themselves uninhibited. They want to preserve a part of themselves that’s outside of the relationship.

Creating space, therefore, is essential. Space isn’t the same as distance. But if you find yourself having the same conversations over and over, you might want to try spending some time apart, just enjoying other things in the world. You don’t have to be joined at the hip the whole time.

Take Time To Cool Off

You Don't Have To Be Joined At The Hip ~ Take Some Time For Yourself

You can sometimes get angry in a relationship, particularly when you feel like your partner isn’t meeting your needs in the way they should. Instead of getting confrontational and saying something you’ll regret, go and cool off somewhere.

Once you calm down, you can think about the situation more rationally. That way, you can consider the best needs of the partner while also finding a solution that works for you both.

Say Things More Gently

It’s not just what we say that matters, but also how we say it. You can have two conversations with identical content, but how they feel emotionally can differ tremendously. If you’re shouting at each other about your frustrations, it is going to create a different atmosphere compared to just talking about them.

Being gentle with your partner is the same as being kind to them. The people you love don’t want you to handle them aggressively. They want you to know them. And that means understanding how to deal with them delicately in a way that is appropriate for them.

Be More Value-Driven

Lastly, you might want to try being more value-driven in your relationship. Sometimes, you can feel let down by your partner if they aren’t being truthful. Talk to them about the things that matter to you, such as support, honesty, commitment and consideration. Find out how they relate to these ideas and which, if any, are important to them.

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Are You Really Ready For A Serious Relationship?

4/5/2021

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Relationships are not like in the movies, where everything falls into place perfectly. Continue reading to learn 4 important key points you need to have before you enter a serious relationship.

You might want one, you might crave one, you might feel all kinds of sad and bad for not being in one. However, if you’re not ready for a serious relationship, then you shouldn’t be willing to try and jump headfirst into one. You need to take the time to identify what it means to be and make sure you tick all boxes.

A Partner Should Be A Great Support and Addition, Not A Necessity

Don’t be on the rebound

If you’ve just been through a tough breakup, it might be tempting to try and fill the hole that someone else’s companionship, company, and affection used to be in. However, trying to pigeon someone into that hole is going to end disastrously. You need time to get okay with being alone again so that a partner can be a great support and addition, rather than a necessity. Take the time to build up your confidence again and be okay with being you. This doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun out there, but don’t go looking for the next big thing immediately.

Be self-reliant

You need to make sure that you’re not in a position to become entirely reliant on someone else right away. It’s an easy way to get stuck in a one-sided relationship in which abusive or co-dependent dynamics can easily form. If you don’t have a stable place to live, make that your first priority. If you’re not working, sign up and get verified for job boards. If you don’t have any friends, work on having them first. Don’t isolate yourself, leaving yourself vulnerable to those who might take advantage.

Make sure you have room for them

We all live increasingly atomised lives, meaning that a lot of us haven’t really gotten very good at making time for people in our community. If you find that a lot of your time is taken up by solo pursuits, you should look into starting hobbies that you can take part in with others and, in general, try to spend some more of your time with other people. A lot of people who spend most of their time alone can be surprised how annoying it can feel to have demands on their time and attention, even if that’s exactly what they asked for. You need to make room for others.

Be ready to change

A lot of people want a more serious relationship because they want the deeper intimacy and the connection that comes with it. However, we are formed by those relationships and if you’re ready and willing to change for the sake of it, it is not going to work out in the long-term Recognize your strengths and your weaknesses, come to terms with the difficulties you have and start working on them now.

Of course, there’s no real, formal checklist that determines whether or not you’re ready for a real relationship. But you should at least try to make sure you have your own ducks in a row before jumping into a long-term commitment with someone else.

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