Blog of Frank Kermit of Frank Talks

6 Signs You Need A Marriage Counselor

1/27/2020

Learn 6 signs that can signal the need for a marriage counselor.

There is no denying that marriage can sometimes be challenging. Things like complacency can set into marriages over time, as can issues with communication, leading to all kinds of problems. And if those issues don’t get resolved or even identified, those brewing problems can soon turn into an exploding volcano complete with spectacularly upsetting results.

Of course, there are steps that couples can take to mitigate the likelihood of problems reaching the point of no return. The first is to identify and admit when there’s a problem, as only then can the two people involved work together towards resolving marriage issues before they reach a crisis point. Whether you’re happy with your marriage or not, here are six signs that you both potentially need to see a marriage counselor:

woman wearing boxing gloves punching a man

There Are Steps Couples Can Take Before Reaching The Point Of No Return

1. You find each other unapproachable

Do you both find it hard to communicate with each other? And do you think twice before approaching each other to ask a question, for example? If so, they are sure-fire signs that your marriage needs some professional help. When you do seek advice, asking how to deal with poor communication should be at the top of your marriage counseling questions to ask.

2. Your sex life is non-existent

Sometimes not having enough intimate time with each other can be attributed to things like stress, fatigue, or other medical reasons. If you’re quite confident that your partner is merely finding excuses not to be intimate with you, it could be a sign they want to distance themselves from you.

3. You can’t get over past indiscretions

Has your spouse cheated on you in the past? If that’s the case, it’s only natural that you find it difficult to let go of such previous indiscretions. When someone cheats on you, it’s a real struggle to trust that person again for obvious reasons. There’s always a reason why people cheat in a marriage, so it’s worth talking things through with a marriage counselor to find out what that reason was in the past.

4. You’ve both lost a child

Losing a child at any age is something you wouldn’t even wish on your worst enemy. In such times, it’s important to be there for each other. After all, marriage is all about sticking with each other through the good times and the bad. But if your spouse has been distant and “cold” with you since the loss of your child, you’ll need to work things out together with the help of a marriage counselor.

5. You always argue over money

Apart from communication, one of the most common reasons for couples to fall out with each other in a marriage is over finances. It’s usually because one person isn’t fulfilling their financial obligations, such as paying household expenses.

6. Your spouse spends too much time working

Let’s face it: we all need to earn a living to pay our bills and survive. Is your spouse spending too much time working and not much time with you and your family? If so, a marriage counselor can help you both find ways to achieve a better work-life balance.

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When You Can, Enjoy A Truly Unique Dating Experience

1/25/2020

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Dating doesn't have to be boring! Read more about how you can make your dates more interesting and memorable too!

two people lying in the back of a pickup truck

Try A Different Kind Of Date To Make It More Enjoyable

It’s very easy for us to get too formulaic about this whole ‘dating’ process. First you meet someone in person or online, then you speak a little, then you go on a date, perhaps for a meal or bowling or something else active, and then you do that a few times. You’ll decide if you like the person or not, and from there, things may become a little more serious, if only just.

If this works for you, then you deserve to enjoy that process. There’s no reason why this can’t be a successful approach. And yet for some people, going through the motions simply isn’t enough. These are the people who actually wish for a good time on a date rather than ‘ticking all the boxes.’ We would recommend you try to see what it’s like to follow this path, a little off the beaten track. To do this, you have to provide your date an experience slightly out of the norm, and also provide that for yourself. This way, you may find your dating experience is much more memorable than it would have been otherwise.

Let’s see what this may look like:

Head On A Double Date

A double date experience with a friend can be a great idea, and it can bring with it a range of hilarious new memories. It can also take the bite out of a first date, be that the tense exchange you might have with someone new, or the artifice you may feel. When you can laugh as a small group and select the best double date ideas together, you have more of a chance of making a success from the evening. Approaches like this signify novelty, and more than anything, the willingness to have fun.

Show Them Something You Care About

Showing your date something that matters to you can be important. For instance, if you work in a museum, it might be that showing them around the private collections in a curated showing could be something you organize with your boss in your downtime, provided you work overtime to justify it. Don’t be afraid of bringing them into your world, be that culturally, through your passions or even profession. Sometimes shared passion can mean so much more than polite small talk.

Jump Into Their World

If you hope to bring them into your world, don’t be afraid to ask them to show you theirs. For instance, it might be that they’re a dancer, and would love nothing more than to see a show taking place in the city that weekend. If you can curate a date idea based around a passion of theirs, or to surprise them based on the information they have given you, they may just see how well you have thought this out. It’s always nice to learn and experience something new, even if it’s not your usual cup of tea.

With these date ideas, you’re sure to provide and gain a truly magical and novel dating experience.

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What To Do Before Saying I Do

1/21/2020

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Learn some wedding planning tips before you say I do!

There’s nothing like the thought of having to say I do that’ll send shivers down your spine. The thought of having to walk down the aisle and see everyone staring at you is enough to put some people off. Most of us want to get married, and we love the thought of being with the person that we love for the rest of our lives. But comfortably getting to that point is not as easy as it used to be. There’s plenty of things that you need to do before saying I do. You need to be so prepared that you think about nothing but the love for your partner during the day. You don’t want to spend the day rushing around making sure everyone is happy and everything is running how it should do. So, we’re going to show you some of the things to say before saying I do, so that you can have the most magical wedding day.

A Well Planned Wedding Leads To A Magical Wedding Day

Bridesmaids & Groomsmen

Your entourage of bridesmaids and groomsmen is either going to be absolutely huge, or you'll have a small party of people following closely behind you. They’re the people who are going to support your decisions throughout, and basically just go with the flow of what you’re doing for the day. But there’s a few things that you’ll have to do to ensure they’re happy with the whole day, and the first is picking what style dress and suit you want them to have. For the females, it’s more about style and colour. An olive green bridesmaid dress might suit one girl, whereas another finds it horrible. So you start to see one big problem before you say I do, and that’s keeping everyone else happy. The best way to do so is letting them have an input into what they’re going to be wearing, and doing all day!

Wedding Favours & The Food

The wedding favours are the little bit of the day that everyone gets to take home with them. They’re called wedding favours, but they’re more like a little gift for everyone who has managed to turn up. There are so many design ideas to look at on the internet, but try and make it personal to you, or perhaps personal to the guest. It depends how much effort you want to put into this, but it is nice for your guests to go home with something great to remember the day by.

The Venue & The Photographer

These two go hand in hand. Once you’ve secured the venue, you need to find out about how many they’ll allow, where cars can pull up, and where the best location is going to be for the photos afterwards. Working closely with the venue and finding everything out from the get go will prevent any dramas. There are always reviews on the internet to guide you towards a good photographer as well! You want someone who is going to be able to capture the magic of the day that you’re having!

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Planning the Perfect Proposal

1/20/2020

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Discover 6 tips on how you can make your proposal amazing!

Plan Your Proposal To Be Personalized And Memorable

Want your marriage proposal to be amazing? Check out these pro tips for proposing with style:

Choose the Right Setting

We’ve all been blown away by those amazing public proposals in romantic settings like the tops of the Eiffel tower, or where flash mobs are involved, and they can be perfect, but only if the person you’re proposing to is into that kind of thing. For some people public proposals are amazing, but for others, a private affair is entirely more suitable. So, before you decide on the public or private issue, really think about what your intended would like. Get it wrong and it could be a disaster!

Somewhere Stunning

If you can, try to choose somewhere picturesque or fancy to propose. It’s an important moment, so you want all of your memories to be amazing, and having the right setting will help with that. Whether it’s a mountain, beach, of fancy restaurant doesn’t matter, just make it special.

Personalize It

Personalizing your proposal will make it even more special for both of you. So, if you both have a special place that’s meaningful to you as a pair, pop the question there, or if you know your fiancee values ethical fashion, consult with a ring concierge for the perfect diamond. It doesn’t matter what little touches you add, just be sure to add some details that shows them you pay attention and you care.

Record It

Hiring a professional photographer and videographer is a great idea. It allows you to forever capture the moment when you agree to join together as one. Of course, if your budget doesn’t stretch to that you can have friends or family capture the moment instead. Oh, and if your bride to be is more on the shy private side, you may want to do something a little more subtle, like a selfie, to capture the moment instead.

Don’t Stress

If you’re stressed out, you may end up stumbling over your words or being so paralyzed that you can’t even get the words out. So, do everything you can to plan for the proposal in advance and then relax. You can do no more than ask the question - the outcome of whether there will be a wedding or not is not ultimately up to you and there is no point sweating about it.

Plan a Celebration

If they say yes, what happens then? Some proposals end up being an anti-climax because once the question has been asked and answered, things are just left hanging. Don’t let that happen to you by planning a celebration for after the main event. This could be a simple picnic for the two of you in your spot or an arrangement to meet up with friends and family at a favourite bar - it doesn’t matter much as long as you make sure there’s something to do to keep the celebratory mood going for as long as possible.

Planning a proposal that wows is, as you can see, way easier than you might think. Good luck!

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Revealed: The Top 5 Dating Myths Debunked

1/2/2020

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Read the top 5 dating myths to be ready for your next date!

You may not realize it, but there are many dating “facts” that are nothing more than fallacy. They might seem like they make sense, but in reality, they are untrue. If you’re new (or returning) to dating, you should make sure that you go into it knowing what’s the truth and what things are a load of baloney!

So, with all that in mind, take a look at these top 5 dating myths debunked for you here today:

Know Fact From Fiction When You Are Dating

Myth 1: Online dating is for losers

Far from it! With today’s hectic work schedules and social calendars, it can often be challenging to find the time to do “offline” dating. The thing about Internet dating is that it offers a convenient way for like-minded people to connect, learn more about each other, and eventually meet up. More people turn to online dating each year, making its popularity increase all the time. So, no, online dating is not for losers. It’s for people that want a convenient and safe way to find love!

Myth 2: Online dating’s the only alternative to offline dating

You may not realize it, but there are a few different ways you can connect and meet up with people. And certainly in a non-offline setting! Yes, online dating is perhaps the most common way to find people that you wouldn’t otherwise have met. But, there are other alternatives too.

For example, looking at thechatlinenumbers.com you’ll see that it’s possible to connect with others via telephone. And let’s not forget penpals, video, and mail-based dating services!

It May Take Several Dates To Feel A Connection

Myth 3: Not “clicking” on a first date is bad news

In many cases, if two people don’t click on their first meeting, it doesn’t always mean there is no “spark” there to develop things further. Often, it can mean that one of the pair is perhaps an introvert and anxious about making their feelings or intentions known for fear of rejection. In those cases, a few more dates between the pair might be needed before the less confident of the two plucks the courage to develop the relationship. Take a look at this interesting article from berkeley.edu on the subject.

Myth 4: First impressions always count

When you meet someone for the first time and hope to impress them, such as for a job interview, you’ll likely want to do some preparation first. You’ll also wish to dress for success. But, some people are quite confident by nature and don’t feel the need to “push the boat out” as the saying goes. To quote another saying, don’t judge a book by its cover. In other words, don’t assume what gets presented in front of you is the best that person can or will offer.

Myth 5: You shouldn’t listen to what other people think

When it comes to dating someone, it’s always a good idea to gauge the opinion of your close friends and family members. Sure, there will always be one person in your inner circle that thinks your date is a bad idea. But, if most of those people are saying the same thing, you need to reconsider your options!

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