Would you like to try having phone sex but don't know where to start? Continue reading to learn some tips and where you can go to connect with like minded people.
There’s one thing that most people learn when they’re alone that they never thought was possible. That’s the absolute fact that phone sex with strangers is a whole lot of fun. You get to talk about all of your filthiest fantasies with someone who’s just trying to have a good time with you. You don’t have to worry about what they think of you and you don’t even have to get their name right. You just talk about whatever you want to talk about and they have fun with you. In fact, you don’t even have to be alone to learn this.
NYMag has a whole article about a woman in a sexless marriage that got herself addicted to phone sex with strangers. It doesn’t matter how odd it sounds. It’s true and it’s something that any person in the world can do. All you need is a phone and you’re off and running. You can have some fun and never have to talk to the other person again. You’ll never have to worry about the way that you’re coming off because you’re only interacting with this person for an hour or so and then you can both forget that each other even exist.
The Dirtier, The Better
The one thing to keep in your mind is that the dirtier you can get with your phone sex, the better it’s going to be. That’s just how it is and you get to benefit from it. If you can let yourself go and really let your sexuality come out to play, then you’re going to give your phone sex partners an experience that they enjoy and would gladly come back to try out again. If you want to know just how dirty you can get, just think about porn. If there’s something that’s over the line for you, it’s probably going to be going too far. Other than that, everything is on the table.
This woman talks about how dirty you have to be if you want to be a professional phone sex provider. If you take her cues, you’ll be able to get dirty without having to hold yourself back. Just ask yourself if the sex act seems like it would be fun for both of the people involved. If the answer is yes then you know that you’re on to something really good that you should try out.
How to Have Phone Sex
Don’t think that you can just get on your phone and start talking, though. That’s not going to get you very far. It’s a good idea to at least have a passing understanding of what constitutes phone sex and what’s just going to be blabbing with someone. You’ll have to pay attention to how they’re reacting to find out what they like and what’s going too far for them. You’ll also have to know when to send nude pics and when not to send them. It all depends on how deep into the phone sex you happen to be and where the other person is.
If you need a good primer, Cosmopolitan had a really good article when it comes to having phone sex. Just think about the kind of people that the article was made for. It was written for women who want to have phone sex. If you can dial into what they’re saying, you can give the women exactly what they’re looking for. It will make you the perfect stranger for them to get naughty with when they want to explore their own desires over the phone.
Find Out Where The Strangers Go
If you’re already sold on the idea of having phone sex with strangers then all you need to do is find someone to have it with. There are lots of different places that offer it, but you can cut through all of that noise and find the best place for all of your phone sex needs. If you check out Arousr then you’ll be greeted with as many different people as you could ever want to have phone sex with. The best part is that you can see what everyone looks like before you decide to spend any time on them. That’s going to give you the freedom that you really need. You won’t have to wonder what she looks like when you’re talking to her. She’s going to have a pic on her profile so you know exactly how hot she happens to be. That’s going to make the phone sex much better than it would otherwise be. On top of that, these are women who love to do it. You’ll never find a more enthusiastic stranger to have phone sex with. Once you experience it, you’ll be back over and over again.
Do you struggle with self confidence? Continue reading to learn how you can help yourself to improve your self respect and empower yourself.
When it comes to focusing on our life and dealing with people, a healthy amount of self-respect is necessary. Most of us will learn this lesson either through a natural predisposition to self-respect, or we will be taught it through tough experiences. The less you respect yourself, the less you’re likely to project confidence, and from there, the more you wil be the victim in social situations, or perceive yourself to be that even when you aren’t.
However, it’s very hard to think your way out of low self-esteem, and by virtue self-respect, if you’re not embodying it. This is not something we can endlessly theorize about, it has to be lived and tested. It turns out that we are all our biggest critic, what matters is how much you let that judgment define you or prevent you from moving forward, as this latter issue can be a real problem.
In this post, we’ll discuss (through inescapably theoretical terms), how self-respect is embodied, what that even means, and how you can move forward with confidence. With that in mind, let’s get started for the better:
Break Free Of Negative Cycles
Breaking free of negative cycles and patterns of behavior can help you enjoy a much better sense of yourself, particularly if settling an issue that has troubled you for some time. For instance, perhaps you realize that viewing illicit adult material online, even sporadically, makes you feel worse off despite how unfortunately prevalent and accessible it is. It could be that making the life decision not to consume that can be helpful. However, the same can be said for relationships, such as breaking your trauma bonding routines with a toxic partner.
The moment you put a dent in a bad habit, the better the chance of a good habit replacing it is.
Take That First Step
Taking that first step is a good idea. That’s all you have to do. For instance, the moment you decide you’re good enough to be treated with respect, automatically, you are. The first time someone tries to denigrate you, you can either withdraw or challenge it instead of accepting that kind of treatment. Then, you’re more likely to take that to a new social experience. The more you do this, the more you define yourself as someone worthy of respect. And that will come because you have respected yourself.
It’s very difficult to practice self-respect without self-care. This is because self-respect is not always a conscious decision on your part, but rather, a culmination of the little microdecisions you have made throughout your day. If you wake up at a good time after sleeping for a full eight hours, if you have exercised, and if you have meditated before attending a meeting, it’s much easier to feel confident and proactive compared to if you had woken up ten minutes before, rushed into the office and are still waking up. Self-care is self-respect, because by practicing it you define yourself as someone worthy of that approach. Don’t be afraid to care for yourself in that light.
With this advice, we hope you can understand how self-respect is embodied, not theorized, and how you may integrate it into your life.
Self love is based on more than your achievements. Keep reading to learn 3 ways to help you discover your own self worth and share it with others.
Many of us can struggle to understand and care for our own worth. We often think that our self-respect needs to be predicated on achievements, or our behavior. Of course, this last point isn’t that strange to consider, if you’re continually lying to people, failing to meet your responsibilities and struggling to move forward, then it’s not hard to lose a little of your self-regard.
But that’s not always the healthiest way forward. For instance, someone suffering from addiction will only struggle further if they repeatedly chastise themselves, as the first step to them getting help is admitting they need it and that they are worth of it. As you can see, self-worth is deeper and more important than we may give it credit for.
But how can you know your worth? After all, not all of us are in life or death situations like this, but we may simply be dealing with confidence issues, or wish to change our direction anew in life, or perhaps we just want to validate ourselves after our partner has repeatedly failed to do so in a bad relationship. In our guide, we hope to help you:
It’s hard to know your self-worth if you do little to affirm it. Sometimes, practicing it in actions, not with words, can help. For instance, going out and exercising and treating yourself well with nutrition shows that you are the kind of person who is worth being taken care of. Additionally, practicing self-love by taking it easy, meditating, learning the power of ‘no’ or simply taking yourself to a show you like to see (even if your friends aren’t interested) can be a great idea. These are the matters we end up remembering going forward.
Know Your Boundaries
Being able to understand our boundaries, and more importantly, being able to enforce them properly is also a good idea. Knowing your boundaries is the means by which we can turn down social dates if we need to, or to take a mental health day by booking a sick day from working from time to time. It’s in telling our partner that we want to be more involved in the financial planning or that we need the morning after pill, or in being able to try something like veganism or without apology and without explanation to those who may disapprove. Knowing your boundaries helps you become a healthier, happier and more wholesome person.
Sustain Good Friendships
It’s important to sustain good friendships, because we take more direction and influence from our closest friends than we may imagine. Taking the time to sustain good friendships and making sure that people are good to you, and you are good to them can allow you to feel less alone, as we are social beings and deserve to have those who support us. Having friends who we can rely on is also an essentially important activity, providing us with the means to better ourselves appropriately, and also feeling part of a tight unit. That helps us know our worth as having close relationships allows us to fully blossom.
With this advice, we hope you can more readily know your worth, which is no doubt bountiful.
Are you able to handle major life events well? Keep reading to learn 5 ways that can help you cope when life throws something new your way.
From time to time, there are always going to be various life events that crop up and completely throw you. This is just a part of life, and it can be very distressing indeed, but you can also get to a point where you are dealing with those events fairly well, or at least minimising what impact they are having on you psychologically. In this post, we are going to take a look at the process of dealing with major life events. If you can learn to approach some of the following, you should find that it is easier than you might have thought to deal with even the worst of what life can throw at you.
Try To Stay Balanced
There is a lot of talk about what the primary goal should be as you try to navigate this kind of situation. But something that is bound to be worth aiming for is to try and stay as balanced as possible. As long as you are balanced, it means that you are probably dealing with the psychological aspects of it fairly well, and you are more likely to be able to move on from it as well as possible too.
So what can you do to try and stay balanced? There are a few key things that might help. For instance, you could aim to recalibrate how you view the very fact of uncertainty. It is often the uncertainty about the future that makes this kind of experience so worrying, but you should aim to remind yourself that being uncertain doesn’t mean that the future is actually going to be bad. You can also balance yourself through positive self-talk and by making a plan for the near future. As long as you remain balanced, you should find it a lot easier and simpler to deal with whatever comes your way.
Finding & Embracing The Transition
Almost all major life changes are really forms of transition, where life is changing from one kind of experience to another. If you can start to view things in this way more than as a loss (even if there is also some loss there to be reckoned with) you are much more likely to deal with the situation in a positive manner, so that is absolutely something that you should think about. In order to do this, you might want to ask yourself just what the transition is here, and then the hard part is trying to get really excited about that, rather than merely remaining fearful. If you can do that, you should find that you are able to work with the situation a lot more, rather than working against it, as can be natural to do.
In some forms of major life events, this can be especially hard to do. For instance, if someone close to you has died, you might not want to just immediately treat it as a transition. You will of course need time to grieve. But over time, ultimately you get out of the mire by seeing it as such, so this is still something to keep in the back of your mind.
Keep Up Your Regular Schedule As Best As You Can
It is totally normal and natural for these big life events to completely change your daily experience, but if you want to try and keep a handle on things you might want to think about trying to keep up your regular schedule as best as you possibly can. This may be challenging, of course, but even if you just manage to keep a few of your normal things in place, you should be able to have a much easier time of the whole thing, so it really is worth thinking about for that reason.
Even just going to the same cafe you would normally visit or aiming to get up at the same time can really help. If you are finding it too difficult, try to do a little less. But bear in mind that having at least a ghost of the schedule in place can work as a very effective form of ballast, helping to keep you afloat even in the toughest times.
Get Help Managing The Ins & Outs
All major life events come with a lot of various things you have to do to get through them, not just the emotional stuff but also other ordinary things. For instance, moving house means that you need to sort out your home and do a lot of paperwork, get insurance and so on. When someone close to you dies, you have to think about organising a funeral, finding appropriate cemetery grave markers, contacting your distant relatives and so on. It is best if you have someone on your side to give you a hand with all of this, as otherwise it can just make things all the more overwhelming.
Keep In Touch With People
It can be very easy to fall out of touch with the important people in your life when you are going through something huge. But it is important to have them by your side as much as possible, and you never know when you might need them all the more, so you should aim to keep in touch with them as best as you can. If you do that, you are much more likely to have an easier time dealing with whatever is going on for you, no matter how serious or stressful or exhausting it might be. Do your best to keep picking up the phone or getting on social media to contact people, and you will find that you are much more likely to get through the situation in one piece.
If you can take all of this advice on board, you are much more likely to get through any major life event intact. Be sure to try for all of this, but also to forgive yourself when you fail to do any of it. That is also just part of the process.
Are you tired of being on the singles train? Read 5 great tips to help you find the partner you desire.
Are you forever standing alone on the (figurative) platform while all around you, other people are holding hands, embracing one another, and gazing at each other with nothing but love?
Do you feel as if you are on the track to a life alone instead of a life with another?
We have some advice in this article if so, as you don't have to resign yourself to a one-way journey to singledom forever.
Consider the following suggestions, and let them lead you to more dates, the possibility of romance, and ultimately, the final destination that is marriage (if that is what you are looking for).
#1: Give online dating a go
Chances are, you have probably tried online dating already. Especially if you are living a busy lifestyle, or if you are uncomfortable mingling with others in bars and clubs, online dating is a relatively easy way to see who is out there. From websites such as Match.com and Elite Singles to dating apps such as Tinder and OkCupid, there are all kinds of online avenues to explore. So, if you haven't already done so, give it a go and use these profile tips to give you greater opportunities for success when registering with a site or app online. And if you are already online, but haven't had a lot of success thus far, you might also use the linked tips to improve your online profile.
#2: Be courageous and talk to people
Sometimes, you need to instigate a connection with another person. This can be done online, but remember too that you are surrounded by people on a daily basis. It could be somebody sitting opposite you on your train journey to work. It could be a colleague sitting in the next cubicle to you at the office. And it might be somebody browsing the books you like when you're next at your local bookstore. Rather than staying silent, and wishing you had the courage to open your mouth to the people you find attractive, actually say something. Just say hello, or ask them how their day is going. Should they reply, a conversation might start to flow, and while it might lead nowhere, it might also open up opportunities for further things.
So, think about the people you might already know or see regularly and plan to speak to them the next time you're around them. Perhaps role-play conversations with a trusted friend if you lack confidence in what to say, and consider using mobile chat lines to hone your communication skills with others. Of course, with this latter idea, you might use also chat lines to find romance too, so check out the previous link for some useful tips.
#3: Attend local Meetup groups
Not only are local Meetup groups a great way to meet new people, but they also afford you the opportunity to meet the people who are into the same hobbies as you are. And by having common interests, you shouldn't have too much difficulty instigating and having conversations with others, as you should both have much to talk about. Visit Meetup.com for local hobby groups in your area, or use the platform to start a group of your own.
#4: Let other people play matchmaker
Think about the people who know you the best, and ask them to recommend or introduce you to other people they know who might be a good fit for you. And to make life easier for you, perhaps ask your friends or family members to invite you both to a social gathering where you will be able to meet and talk to each other in a natural and easy-going setting. You might then hit it off with that other person and arrange a time to spend more time together away from the company of others.
#5: Find other ways to meet people with shared interests
If you have a particular passion for a local cause, you might want to volunteer at a charity group near you. If you are a fan of a particular movie, TV show, or music group, you might want to visit the appropriate fan conventions. And if you have always wanted to go back to school to learn something new, you might want to register for courses at a college near you. These are just some of the ways to be with people who have similar interests to you, and these are just some of the places where you might then find the courage to talk to the people you find interesting and attractive.
So, what do you think? Are these ideas useful to you? By following our suggestions, you might finally have the opportunity to hop off the singles train and into the arms of somebody new. And hey, even if you don't, you might still make new friends, and they could lead you into the path of the person who could be 'the one' for you.
Read 5 confidence building tips to help you boost your confidence in no time at all!
Sometimes our confidence levels can take a bit of a knock. It might be in the workplace, at home or in a relationship. When confidence is at its lowest, it can often have you feeling down and even feeling symptoms of low mood and anxiety as you start to question your actions and life choices. Sometimes we don’t even realise that our confidence has taken a knock, and this can start to have a negative impact on our lifestyles.
However, confidence is one of those things that is taught and isn’t a natural aspect of who you are. We have to realise that we can always build ourselves back up, whether that means feeling confident in the workplace or generally making more positive choices in our life that can give us the push to move forward. So if you feel that your confidence is at an all time low then don’t despair, try these techniques that could have you boosting your confidence in no time at all.
It is all in the mind
When it comes to confidence, it is important to understand that a lot of what you feel is in your mind. You are controlling your thoughts and therefore if you feel anxious and unconfident then what you are thinking is playing a vital role in that. Switch the thought process around and start thinking positive and confident. Even if it does feel like you are faking it. It can make a world of difference to how you act and eventually you will believe in yourself more and have the confidence. What we feel can be portrayed into thoughts, what we think can then be turned into actions, so it is important to start managing your emotions and feelings from wishing, which in turn can help you to change your mindset. It is time to think about what you want to feel and not be controlled by it.
Think about what you wear
When it comes to the clothes you wear, think about how you wear them and dress to your body shape but also dress for the occasion. You may be surprised to read that actually having clothes that not only enable you to suit your personality, but also work within the environment, can give you a huge boost in your confidence. This is especially important if you have a particular routine and a certain type of attire to wear each day, such as heading to work. Take a high powered sales job,for example, you may want to look into wearing custom high end mens suits so that you feel able to approach the situation. This can then give you confidence because you know that you look the part. Feeling good in the clothes that you're in can instantly lift your confidence levels.
Put on a happy face
It may sound very simple but just put on your happy face and smile. Smiling can work wonders for your confidence and as you smile out and about you will begin to notice that the world will smile along with you. This can then help you to feel better about life and change your outlook from a negative one into a positive one. Sometimes this simple action can actually be one of the hardest things to do each day, so it is understandable that if at first you start to struggle with the mentality of just smiling. Even when you feel scared, anxious and afraid to do so. However, it is all to do with mindset, and the action can help turn a negative situation into a positive. Faking it until it starts to feel more natural.
Take better care of yourself
Sometimes it can mean that your just need to take better care of yourself when it comes to your appearance and also how you feel. From exercising more regularly and eating the right things, to getting a good night's sleep and spending tie with people that make you feel good rather than bring you down.
Celebrate the victories and small wins
Finally, don’t forget to celebrate the victories and the small wins that you will have daily. It may sound crazy, but celebrating the fact that you did well in something can boost your confidence to feel better about life in general. The small win might just be getting through a hard day at work, walking somewhere or completing a project on time, but they are your victories to celebrate. Being your own champion can really help boost confidence levels.
Let’s hope that these tips help you to start boosting your confidence levels.
Breaking up doesn't have to break you!
Learn 7 tips to help you rebuild your confidence after a break up.
The breakdown of a long-term relationship is never pleasant. Some relationships have a better ending than others, with agreement, mature decision making and amicable reasoning. Perhaps even lasting friendships. While others are messy. There’s arguments, custody battles, disagreements over money, property and possessions. Of course, there are also breakups that aren’t mutual. Where one part is shocked and considerably more hurt than the other.
However your relationship has ended; it’s a significant change. You have to get used to living your life without that person by your side. You might have to learn how to do things for yourself, and simply how to be alone. A messy breakup might also mean that you are dealing with feelings of hurt and anger. The emotions that we go through during a breakup are very similar to those of grief, and why shouldn’t they be? A part of your life is over, and it very much feels like something has died.
This can have a huge effect on your confidence, which can be even worse If you’ve been dumped. Feeling lost, and like you don’t know how to live alone can be terrible for your self-esteem. But, it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing to stop you coming out of a relationship strong, confident and eager to meet new challenges. Here are some tips to help you rebuild your confidence.
Get the Hard Stuff Out of the Way
Part of why breakups are so upsetting isn’t the breakup itself but all of the things that come with it. Hunter Perret talks about the difficulties of telling parents and in-laws. You might have to break the news to friends and even children. You might have to have difficult conversations about legal proceedings, dividing assets and other practicalities of moving on.
It can be tempting to put these problematic tasks off until you are feeling better. But, you’ll struggle to do that while they are hanging over you. Looming as something that needs to be done. Generally, the anxiety that we feel before we do something unpleasant is worse than actually doing it. So, make a list of what needs to be done and get on with it. Only then will you be free to heel and move forward.
Get Out of Bed
You might feel as though all you can do is hide under your duvet and cry, which once or twice is fine. A good cry can help you to exorcise some of your emotions and start to process. But, at some point, you need to draw a line under your wallowing and get out of bed. Set an alarm and leave your phone in another room so that you have to get up to turn it off. Then, start your day. Go to work if you need to. If not, head to the gym or into town for lunch. Getting out and about can be a huge mood boost, even if you have to force yourself to do it.
When you’ve been hurt by someone you love, you need a little TLC. Your friends and family might offer comfort and support, but if you want a confidence boost on top, spoiling yourself can be the answer. Treat yourself to some new clothes or a fancy lunch. Book an appointment at the salon or get a massage. Just spend some time watching your favorite TV show with snacks and drinks if that’s what makes you feel good.
Exercise is probably one of the best confidence boosts going. It helps you to feel as though you are taking control and doing something good for yourself. While also releasing serotonin and adrenaline which will improve your mood. Go for a run, head to the gym, take a class or just start going for walks once a day and you’ll soon start to feel good about yourself.
Take Care of Yourself
When you’re sad, it’s only too easy to neglect your needs. Are you eating well, getting plenty of sleep and spending time with your loved ones? If your relationship has been on the rocks for a while, it’s possible that your needs have been neglected for a long time. Start taking care of yourself, giving your body and mind what they need to stay healthy.
Find Out Who Single You Is
You won’t be the same person as you were when you first met your partner, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. But, you might not be who you were when you were with them either. Our hobbies and interests often change to fit with each other. So, take some time to learn more about who you are on your own. Try new hobbies, watch new TV shows, make new friends and think about what you enjoy doing.
Make a Plan
Making plans for your future can help you to see that you’ve got one. Plan a holiday, or write a list of places that you’d like to visit in the future. Set yourself fitness goals, or even book a big event like a race so that you’ve got something to build towards. It could also be a great time to tackle some jobs around the house, or even take on a big move. Start some DIY, and redecorating, to turn your home into your own.
It’s also a great time to focus on your career. Sit down with your manager, or set yourself some goals going forward. You might even want to make a five-year plan, or start planning something big like a career change or starting your own business.
While all of these things will help you to grow, and to become more confident, that doesn’t mean that you have to feel better straight away. Grieving for a relationship is ok. It’s alright to be sad, and it’s absolutely fine to have setbacks and sad days even when you are starting to feel better. Rebuild your confidence and find ways to help yourself to feel better, but don’t put pressure on yourself. If you feel sad, let yourself be sad. Just don’t let these negative feelings take over your life.
Your opinion matters. Read more to learn how to make sure your voice is heard in your relationship.
While relationships are a place to love that person and share life with them, they can run on power dynamics over time. There’s usually one person who takes charge, or who is meant to at least. Sometimes, it’s a pure democracy. Ideally, both are assertive in their own manner, and is willing to discuss anything with the other person. This is why people often say ‘opposites attract,’ because if you imagine two puzzle pieces fitting together snugly, you need one person of a certain shape to best connect to someone of another.
However, it might be that despite being an assertive person, you usually err too much on the side of the ‘democratic ideal’ whenever you’re connected to someone in this manner. It might be that learning techniques to be more ‘positively assertive,’ can be more than worthwhile, and help the relationship flourish once more. We’re not talking of the need to boss the other around, because that will only breed animosity. Rather, it’s important to consider how you could be more playful, decide more things, and perhaps actualize yourself more in the relationship instead of letting the other do all the work.
Here’s what that might look like:
A Token Of Appreciation
Words can often be a great idea when trying to communicate your love, but often, actions speak louder. A token of appreciation could be many things, but for the most part, it is best embodied in gifts and experiences. For example, check out Tacori’s limited edition jewelry collection to ensure your partner feels amazing during their upcoming birthday celebrations. Something handcrafted can often work brilliantly too, as it emphasizes someone willing and ready to work on the love you both share. Simply giving a gift, sometimes at random, sometimes in a targeted fashion can show you’re always willing to win their approval and know that even after marriage, sweeping them off their feet is never a finished thing.
Often, the worst thing to say is ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ It might be that your partner is tired of choosing where you eat, what movie you see, or what you do for the evening. Being a little more assertive and actually more truthful to that you wish to do can help you take charge, and that’s exciting for the other person. After all, they want to know what helps you enjoy life, and they wish to share your personality. If you leave everything up to them, you’ll struggle to make any progress at all.
Don’t Skirt Around Topics
It can often be quite easy to just jump around topics and sweep them under the rug. But actually, being more assertive means tackling them head-on. Perhaps your partner embarrassed you in front of their friends, and you wish to let them know you don’t appreciate that. Perhaps you are tired of always doing something their way. Perhaps you want them to help out more around the house. If you bottle feelings, you’re just going to have them explode out later in an unhealthy manner. To this end, you might find yourself worried. It’s always best to just communicate well. This way, bad relationships will end and good relationships will bloom.
With these tips, you’re sure to be more positively assertive in your relationships.
Are you in a possible toxic relationship?
Are you looking to help someone who is in a toxic relationship? What is a toxic relationship?
Learn more in this contributed post.
The compulsion to explore whether you’re in a toxic relationship could be due to; your own perception of your relationship or your concern over someone else's, the suggestion by another that you are in a bad relationship without your awareness, or even the thought that you may be the perpetrator, the victim or that both of you in the relationship are accomplices in being abusive to one another. This post sets the foundation for how we can stop violence against women and men, by gaining an understanding of how we interpret toxic relationships, identifying some of the common mechanisms of an abusive relationship, to having faith in your own self-awareness and taking steps to prevent, stop abuse or leave a relationship entirely.
How Do We Determine A Toxic Relationship?
For a person to define a relationship as healthy or toxic, is for a person to judge based on their own morals, values, beliefs and their acceptance of the law that governs their state to determine what is proper behavior and actions in a relationship and what is wrong. However, no two peoples beliefs, values, upbringing and experience of seeing and being in relationships are exactly the same. Furthermore, toxicity doesn’t arrive wrapped in the same packaging for everyone to define it as something that’s immediately obvious. It creeps up in all shapes and forms, sometimes unnoticed such as the gaslighting effect, manipulation, and mind games other times tragically obvious, such as forcing substance misuse, murdering or raping of a partner. In other cases, it’s difficult for someone who is prone to being the victim, to see that they might also contribute in being abusive themselves. For some of the signs that distinguish whether you may be involved in a bad relationship, preview the next section.
Common Traits Of Toxic Relationships
Part of this post is to explore beyond the us and them view, “they are the abusers, and I am the victim,” it’s also to create a sense of self-awareness on whether we may unknowingly actually be abusive ourselves. By previewing the signs below, this may trigger whether you may be the culprit, accomplice or victim of a toxic relationship.
This is a non-exhaustive list of how abuse might occur between two people.
Self Awareness In Relationships
With the above mentioned it may be difficult to define whether some of these situations you have endured could be interpreted as abuse, or you may convince yourself that although some of the above mentioned may have happened in your relationship, that they’re not severe and won’t lead to any other toxic behavior. When we’re in a relationship, it’s difficult for us to see things objectively. Moreover, when we’re outside of a relationship, we may fail to see the whole picture and what actually occurs behind doors. However, if you feel you may be inflicting or have inflicted harm on someone else you can seek professional help to prevent violence in your relationship and any issues escalating into irreparable damage that could affect you or another person both physically and psychologically. Never doubt your feelings if you think you are being mistreated, or that you are hurting someone close to you. Your emotions and gut instinct will give you an indication that something isn’t right in your relationship. To prevent falling victim to or being part of the abusive pattern in your relationships, there are preventative measures that can be taken.
Don’t make way for abusive behavior by consciously pushing your moral boundaries back to allow for abuse. Don’t discount your feelings towards abuse as unimportant. Don’t fall into an oblivion of believing normalized abuse portrayed by the media on tv, films and social media is what love entails. Protect yourself as you would your own children, be protective of your mind and body and seek family, friends and professional support from organizations such as https://www.thehotline.org/help/ to enable you to take steps to solve or end your relationship problems. More than anything, don’t wait and hope it won’t happen again.
Are you lacking confidence in relationships?
Read 5 tips that can help you be more confident in this contributed post.
Being self-confident in a relationship is not always easy, especially if you have been hurt in one before. Being self-confident can improve a relationship though as well as being better for your overall well being. Life throws enough stresses at us without you worry about the state of your relationship.
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
No one will make you feel more worthless than you. You should value your own worth, as this will make you feel and look better. If it helps, have a new hairstyle or change the color of your hair. Anything that helps you feel more confident is good. It is very easy to be your own worst enemy and that has to stop right now!
Be An Individual
You should not let yourself become an extension of your partner. You are an individual with your own dreams and aspirations. People who have lived on their own for a while are often better at this because they are used to considering just themselves. Although no one would ever suggest you should be selfish, you do sometimes have to put yourself first.
It can be great if you have a shared interest, but it is also good to have an interest of your own. Apart from keeping you mixing with other people, it is something else for the pair of you to discuss.
You should also make sure you stay in touch with friends that you knew before you met your partner. It may well be that they socialize with both of you, but you should still have an occasional evening for just you and your friends.
Tell your partner a secret about yourself that no one else knows. Sharing secrets or things you are ashamed of from your past can help to establish a feeling of intimacy between you. Self-disclosure can help to build your confidence in each other. For instance, if in the past a sex therapist has helped you over a problem, or you once dated someone who turned out to be a drug taker and you almost got involved in them too, your partner will be pleased that your problems were solved and that you have the confidence in them to be honest about your past.
Don’t Settle For Second Best
Do not let your self-esteem drop so low that you put up with someone who is constantly criticizing you and does not show you any respect. Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for them behaving in this way. You deserve better than this, so don’t settle for second best. Walk away from the relationship, as there is no doubt that someone better will come along one day. Yes, it can be hard, but it will benefit you both in the long-term.
Make sure you have fun together sometimes at least. Laughing together is a great help for any relationship, and yours will be no different. It could be at a film you are watching or maybe playing some sort of game. Having a fun element in any relationship is vitally important if it is to succeed.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes