成人男性维珍计划的中文评论。 Chéngrén nánxìng wéi zhēn jìhuà de zhōngwén pínglùn. Reviews in Chinese of The Adult Male Virgin Program. ****This program is only in English 这个程序只用英文 Zhège chéngxù zhǐ yòng yīngwén 專為成年處男製造的最好的產品。弗蘭克給他的聽眾最好的知識,理解他們為什麼仍然處男。他充滿了如此強大的知識及還包括一些他自己的個人故事。弗蘭克介紹我們一個成年處男的跡象和如何失去處男身。他也給了許多意見如何準備你的第一次性經驗。弗蘭克給我留下了非常簡單的步驟,以最佳的方式失去你的童貞。弗蘭克還講座強調在男女關係擁有性的重要以及當擁有性過後是如何影響女性。我強烈推薦這個產品給任何其他成年處男。弗蘭克談到這個敏感的話題非常成熟,非常機智。經過這次演講,我是一個新人。弗蘭克的知識引導我走向成功之路。 Frank處男研討會應該會引起很多女性的公憤, 但對很多男生來說是非常有用的。 我一直都以為女性們希望在兩性關係裡有男女平等。Kermit對這點有非常不一樣的看法。 Kermit認為你生唯一位男人, 你的責任就是引導。Frank也解釋為什麼壞男人會得到女生的喜愛。我從小就被教育要對女生紳士以及對她好。他說我們還是可以這樣做但是要適應的做, 也要同時給他不同的感受 (包括不好的)。 我是抱著很緊張的心情來參加處男講座會, 因為我已經是三十出頭的人了 。 當我寄e-mail給Frank Kermit的時後我是非常情緒的, 因為我從來沒跟任何人談過我的處境 。 隔天晚上我跟Frank Kermit通過電話 我聊的很好, 他給了我很多我可以馬上實行的意見 。這個講座會是能夠讓我掌握我感情方面的問題。 參加講座的當天我真的很緊張, 不過我還是逼我自己去參加。 講座開始時讓我感到舒適 ,大家都很友善 我們也當然擁有共同之處。 Frank Kermit分享了他自己痛苦的過去的故事 到現在成功的過程 。 這讓Frank Kermit證明他能了解我們的痛苦。 講座的話題進行的非常的細心何順暢。 我門了解到什麼是男人, 還有他的定義。 對我做重要的話題包括如何打扮自己的住家, 讓他更充滿有性的, 按摩技巧,為什麼有些女生會愛上壞男人, 保護女生的名譽, 如何主導性的發生。 除了這些之外還有更多的其他話題 。 在講座之前我門每個人都e-mail Frank Kermit我門自己想問的問題, 他在以無名的方式探討這些話題。 每個話題也是對在座的所有人非常有用 。 你能夠相信Frank Kermit對隱私的注重。你也能夠相信他能帶給你有效又現實的答案。 如過你是位年長痛苦的處男, 或是年輕的處男, 你應該要了解Frank跟他的講座是一個安全的地方讓你獲取這方面的知識 。 這次的處男講座讓我體會很深,讓我更為自己的性別更有自信以及幫助我有關性的問題。 Kermit回答我所有的問題 。 看到在座的各要兄弟舊的觀念被他改變 你可以感受到大家對性的想法轉變了360度 。
CD1 假如你有學過任何的兩性關係教學你應該把它們通通忘記, 因為這即將是你學過最好的課程讓你丟棄你的處男身。
我的旅程開始就預見Kermit。我們花了好一段時期的工夫了解一些有關女性的問題。我有機會學習到Frank的不同看法。我跟他學習的時間改變了我的一生。女生會誇我,但我不知道該對她們說些什麼。我很愚笨,我不懂得面對一個女孩的對我好 ...如何處碰女生對我來說也是一大問題,我曾經跟女生談話但在對話中感覺上像好姊妹。我開始在自己身上下工夫和採取Kermit的給我的意見,挑戰自我。Kermit使我成為一名男子漢。他挑戰我的兩性關係看關,使我面對兩性關係得真相 ...他打破了我的現實,問我的問題是大多數人不會花時間來問自己的。他講話非常直率也同時講到重點。我的身份變得堅強和有信心,我的個性正在慢慢變得突出。近9個月的發展,我終於失去了我的童真。我沒有任何壓力,我有Kermit感謝這一點。他的研討會幫助我解決一些舊的性關係疑問。我不再感到內疚作為一個喜歡性的男人。在此之前,每次當我身體接觸女生,我都會身體發麻不知如何是好。Kermit是一個能夠挑戰女性給的測試的男人。我學到了很多關於這一點,它幫助我處理這方面的問題更加容易。他還幫我重新塑造我的心態,並幫助了我極大的設置與女孩的關係。我所學到的東西以幫我改善人際關係了10倍。特別是在聊自己的故事,和跟一個女人找到相似之處得部分。我可以在兩分鐘內帶動有趣的話題,這是讓我擁有跟其他男生不一樣的地方。謝謝您的指導 ...Kermit你塑造了今天的我。我現在很接近我未來想要成為的人。
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Ulasan dalam Bahasa Indonesia Dewasa Reviews in Indonesian of The Adult Male Virgin Program. ****This program is only in English Program ini hanya dalam bahasa Inggris Indonesia translation of review: Menghadiri seminar Frank pada Pria Dewasa Perjaka membuka cahaya baru bagi saya. Saya belajar banyak tentang bagaimana seksual di dunia ini. Sekarang saya merasa saya satu langkah lebih dekat untuk kehilangan keperawanan saya karena pengetahuan saya peroleh. Hal pertama yang saya pelajari adalah bahwa seorang pria harus memimpin interaksi dengan seorang wanita. Salah satu bagian penting dalam apa yang Frank bicarakan adalah tentang bahwa ada tanda-tanda bagaimana orang-orang dapat memberitahu Anda seorang perjaka. Ada baiknya untuk tahu bahwa ketika aku sedang dalam perkembangan kehilangan keperjakaan saya, saya bisa melakukan hal-hal untuk mencegah diri dari terlihat sendiri. Beberapa poin kunci yang saya pelajari selama seminar: -Menjauhi orang-orang yang mencegah Anda dari berhubungan seks -Langkah-langkah yang saya bisa ambil untuk kehilangan keperawananku -Bagaimana pentingnya kehilangan keperawananku ASAP -Bagaimana beberapa orang mengatakan berlaku untuk perempuan saja, tidak untuk laki-laki -Bagaimana seks benar-benar berbeda dari apa yang sudah dianggap Secara keseluruhan, saya merekomendasikan seminar ini kepada siapa saja yang merupakan laki-laki dewasa perjaka karena Anda bekerja untuk menyingkirkan masalah tentang keperjakaan Anda. Seminar Frank laki-laki dewasa perjaka adalah yang paling terperinci, lengkap dan segala sesuatu yang perlu Anda ketahui ada di dalamnya! -R.O. umur 20 ****استعراض برنامج الذكور البكر الذكور aistierad barnamaj aldhukur albikr aldhukur Reviews in Arabic of The Adult Male Virgin Program. ****This program is only in English هذا البرنامج باللغة الإنجليزية hadha albarnamaj biallughat al'iinjlizia هذه الحلقه التي تمتد يوما واحدا هي منقذه للحياه. كرمت فتح عيني إلى وجود العالم الجنسي في الخارج. نفس العالم الذي كنت أعيشه و لكن مع عدم وجود اي فكره عن اسراره. اسرار أحتفظت بعيد عن العذر في مجتمعنا مثل نفسي السابقه. الناس يمارسون الجنس كل الوقت ، الفتيات ، حتى المتدينات يمارسون الجنس بشكل منتظم و هم يحبون ذلك. أفضل المنتجات التي صممت خصيصا لالعذارى الذكور البالغين. صريح يعطي مستمعيه أفضل المعرفة في فهم السبب في انهم لا تزال عذراء. كان عليما قوية مثل ويشمل أيضا بعض من قصصه الشخصية. فرانك يعطينا علامات العذارى من الذكور البالغين ، وكيفية زيادة النجاح الخاصة بك. وهو أيضا كامل من نصائح رائعة من هذا القبيل على ما يجب القيام به المرة الأولى لك ، وكيف أن تكون مستعد لذلك. غادر فرانك لي مع الخطوات البسيطة جدا بشأن أفضل وسيلة لانقاص البكارة الخاص. فرانك حاضر أيضا على أهمية الجنس في العلاقة ، وكيف لا يصدق أنه يؤثر على المرأة. لا أستطيع أن أوصي هذا المنتج بعد الآن على أي شخص بالغ آخر خارج العذراء . فرانك يتحدث عن هذا الموضوع حساس جدا وبنضج الحيلة للغاية. بعد حضور هذه المحاضرة ، وأنا شخص جديد. المعرفةب فرانك قد تؤدي بي على طريق النجاح
هذه الندوة مع فرانك على الذكور البالغين العذارى فتحت ضوءا جديدا تماما بالنسبة لي. تعلمت الكثير عن كيفية الجنس في هذا العالم. الآن أشعر أنني خطوة واحده أقرب إلى فقدان العذرية بسبب المعرفةما لقد اكتسبته. أول شيء تعلمته هو أن الرجل يجب أن يؤدي الى التفاعل مع امرأة. دورا هاما في المحاضره هو فرانك قال محادثات حول ان هناك علامات على كيف يمكن للناس ان اقول لهم انهم عذراء. ومن الجيد أن نعرف ذلك من الممكن أن افعل أشياء لمنع نفسي من النظر الى مثل واحد اعذر. بعض النقاط الرئيسية التي تعلمتها خلال الندوة :
التقيت كيرميت عندما بدأت رحلتي الأولى. قضينا فترة جيدة من الوقت في العمل على بعض القضايا المتعلقة بالمرأة كان عندي واتيحت لي فرصة للتعلم على رأيه في أوضاع مختلفة. ولقد تغير فكري بعد هذا الوقت قضيت لي معه منذ ذلك الحين. والمرأة دائما ما يقدمون لي المديح ، ولكن لم أكن أعرف ماذا أقول. كنت خائفا أحمق عندما أتيحت لي لمواجهة الفتاة التي كان جذابا للسلوك السيء... لمس الفتاة كانت أيضا قضية كبيرة بالنسبة لي ، لاجراء محادثات مع النساء وحديثنا سيكون عديم الجنس بشكل كامل. بدأت العمل على نفسي يوما بعد يوم ، واتخاذ المشورة من كيرميت الأولي جعلني مواجهة التحديات التي وضعت لنفسي. تحولت كيرميت حولني الي رجل. وتحدى وجهات نظري على أرض الواقع وجعلني اكثر مواجهة الحقيقة حول العلاقات... كسر فقاعة بلدي وسألني أسئلة أن معظم الرجال لن تأخذ من الوقت لتسأل نفسها. وكان صادقا معي ، وإلى هذه النقطة. أصبحت هويتي أقوى وتأكيد الذات بصفتي كائنا جنسيا أصبح ببطء بارزة. ما يقرب من تسعة أشهر بعد تعلمي كل هذا ، لقد فقدت عذريتي أخيرا. لم يكن لدي أي ضغط من أي نوع ، لدي كيرميت أن أتوجه بالشكر لهذا الغرض. ساعدت الندوة صاحب لي حل بعض المراسي القديمة فيما يتعلق بالجنس. لم أعد أشعر بالذنب لكونه رجل الجنسي. من قبل ، وعندما تسير الأمور ستبدأ في الاقتراب من ممارسه الجنس مع النساء ، فجاه اتجمد ولا اعرف ما افعل. كيرميت هو سيد في تحدي تجارب المرأة. لقد تعلمت الكثير عن هذا وانه ساعدني التعامل معها بسهولة أكبر بكثير. وقد ساعد أيضا إعادة تشكيل عقلية لي بشأن العلاقات وساعدني بشكل كبير في تحديد العلاقة مع الفتاة التي انا حاليا اخرج معها. وتحسنت مهاراتي في تشكيل اتصال جيد مع شخص عشرة أضعاف. وخاصة عندما تقول قصة العثور على أوجه التشابه ومع امرأة. أنا يمكن أن اكون محادثة مثيرة للاهتمام في دقيقتين ، فإنه يجعلني اكون افضل من جميع الرجال الآخرين. شكرا لقيادتكم كيرميت... كنت قد قدمت لي وأنا الذي أصبح اليوم. وأنا قريب جدا من الشخص الذي يمكنني تصور نفسي دائما يمكن أن تكون من الذكور في مرحلة ما بعد المراهقة أعذر سوف يكون واحدا من أكثر وصم في مجتمع اليوم. مع المجتمع اغرقت لكم صورة من الذكور متعافيةولكن انت لست كذلك ما يسبب قهر الجنسي مع جميع النساء وسوف تشعر فشلا في نظر الثقافة الشعبية من حولك. حتى أن يرد عليه كلمة خاصة ، كلمة'العذرية' تشير إلى انها تحمل قوة كبيره. أنت أصبحت تشعر بالغربة من أصدقائك جميع الذكور الذين يتحدثون عن الفتيات جنسيا ، ويجب إخفاء هذا السر خوفا من العار او استخدامه ضدك. المرأة ، ، الذين يدعون إلى أن تكون لينة ، لطيفه ، ورعاية ضحايا الذين يريدون رجل لطيف وبدوره حولها ، تصب عار عليك انك عديم الخبرة الجنسيه. وكما لو أن كل ما سبق لم تكن سيئة بما فيه الكفاية هناك ألم شخصي جدا ، والحزن واليأس الذي لا يمكن وصفهاب الكلمات التي تطاردك كل لحظة من حياتك.
****questo programma è in inglese Reviews in Italian of The Adult Male Virgin Program. ****This program is only in English Il migliore prodotto disegnato specificatamente per Adulti Maschi Vergini. Frank dà la migliore conoscenza ai suoi ascoltatori in capire perché sono tuttavia vergini. È pieno di conoscenza così potente & include anche alcune delle sue proprie storie personali. Frank ci dà i segni di un adulto maschio vergine e come aumentare il suo proprio successo. È anche pieno di punte così meravigliose su ciò che fare la vostra prima volta e come essere preparato. Frank mi ha lasciato con i passi molto semplici sulla migliore maniera di perdersi la mia verginità. Frank tiene anche una conferenza sull'importanza di sesso in un rapporto e come il sesso colpisce incredibile alla donna. Raccomando estremamente questo prodotto a altri adulti vergini la fuori. Frank parla di questo soggetto sensibile maturamente ed è molto estremamente pieno di risorse. Dopo assistere a questa conferenza, sono una nuova persona. La conoscenza di Frank mi ha condotto su un sentiero di successo. Essere presente al seminario di Frank sui Maschi Vergine Adulti ha aperto un nuovo mondo intero per me. Ho imparato come sessuale questo mondo è. Ora sento che sono un passo più vicino a perdere la mia verginità a causa della conoscenza che ho guadagnata. La prima cosa che ho imparata è che un uomo deve condurre l'interazione con una donna. Una parte importante in ciò che Frank parla di è che ci sono dei segni di come le persone possono notare lei è un vergine. È buono per sapere che mentre sono nel mio sviluppo di perdere la mia verginità, posso fare delle cose per evitare a somigliare a uno. Alcuni punti principali che ho imparato durante il seminario sono:
Ho incontrato Kermit quando ho cominciato dapprima il mio viaggio. Abbiamo speso un grande periodo di tempo a risolvere delle questioni che ho avuta riguardando le donne e ho avuto la probabilità di imparare il suo punto di vista sulle situazioni diverse. Il tempo che ho speso con lui mi ha cambiato moltissimo. Le donne mi complementavono, ma ancora non ho saputo ciò che dire. Sono stato spaventato stupido quando dovevo confrontare una ragazza che era attraente per il suo brutto comportamento... toccando una ragazza era anche un problema grande per me, parlavo con le donne e la nostra conversazione sarebbe completamente asessuale. Ho cominciato lavorare su di me giorno per giorno e prendendo l'instruzione di Kermit mi ha fatto affrontare la sfida che ho messo per me. Kermit mi ha trasformato uomo. Ha sfidato i miei punti di vista sulla realtà e mi ha fatto affrontare la verità dei rapporti... Ha rotto la mia bolla di conforto e mi ha chiesto questioni che la maggior parte degli uomini non porterebbero mai chiedere a loro stessi. Era onesto con me e al punto. La mia identità è diventata più forte e anche la mia abilita di agire con decisione come un essere sessuale è diventava lentamente prominente. Quasi nove mesi nel mio sviluppo, ho perso finalmente la mia verginità. Non ho avuto tensione affatto e ho Kermit per ringraziare per questo. Il suo seminario mi ha aiutato risolvere alcuni dei vecchi ancorari riguardante il sesso. Io non mi sento piu colpevole per essere un uomo sessuale. Prima, quando le cose comincerebbero a diventare fisico con le donne, bloccavo e farei lo stesso-sabotaggio. Kermit è padrone in sfidare i test delle donne. Ho imparato così molto a come sfidare i test e questo fatto mi ha aiutato a trattarli facilmente. Mi ha aiutato anche riformula la mia tendenza riguardante i rapporti e mi ha aiutato enormemente in regolare il rapporto con la ragazza che vedo attualmente. Le mie abilità in formare un buono collegamento con qualcuno ha migliorato decuplo. Specialmente quando dico una storia e quando scopro similarità con una donna. Posso avere una conversazione interessante entro due minuti, mi regola a prescindere da tutti gli altri uomini. Devo ringraziare Kermit per la sua guida... lei mi ha fatto diventare la persona che sono oggi. Sono molto vicino alla persona che mi sono previsto essendo sempre. Non ero mai presente a una conferenza di Frank prima, ma dopo essendo presente alla sua conferenza di Vergini Maschi sono stato stupito.Ogni soggetto che potrei pensare possibile non solo è stato discusso ma sezionato al più piccolo particolare. Essendo un maschio vergine, ho avuto sempre dei problemi che intensificano perché avevo paura di fare la cosa sbagliata o non sapendo ciò che fare. Frank ha frantumato questa credenza limitata dandomi una guida passo per passo di scalata di cinestetica con una ragazza finché la porti nella camera da letto. È andato anche ulteriore e ci ha detto esattamente che cosa l'uomo deve fare per migliorare l'esperienza sessuale di una donna a letto, e al mio sollievo non e una questione dell'abilità. Credo onestamente che se ci sono qualcuni maschi vergini la fuori che questa è LA SOLA CONFERENZA che lei mai dovrà ascoltare e ciò è il credito a Frank ed il suo lavoro sorprendente. Ho sentito che Frank ha avuto un grande consigilio affidabile. Il materiale che aveva coperto è stato spiegato a me con la buona base logica e ha fatto senso perfetto. I segni di tutto che ho fatto poiché essendo un adulto vergine era esatto e ho collegato a tutto che Frank ha detto. Poiché essendo un vergine capisco che è duro per confessare a gli altri un soggetto così sensibile. Per molti e compreso me, assistendo alla sua conferenza per la prima volta è un passo grande. Ma almeno è un passo nella direzione giusta. Accettando che ci deve essere un cambiamento nella tua vita è il perche uno dovrebbe essere più aperto a ricevere l'aiuto. Alla fine della conferenza di Frank, mi ha dato una mappa stradale per cominciare il mio cambiamento. Desidero indubbiamente che abbia avuto il materiale di Frank quando ero in scuola! Potrei ascoltare il discorso di Frank continuamente. Ma uno non può solo ascoltare la sua conferenza perché ci sono molti dettagli importanti che lei non può ricordare appena tutto in una conferenza. Le note devono essere fatte! Ti ringrazio Frank di tutto! Ho finito appena di ascoltare l'ultima parte del programma di AMV. È un programma molto buono per AMVs e desidero che l'abbia avuto 10 anni fa. Non sono un AMV più ma alcuno della consulenza è tuttavia molto utile ed applicabile ancora a me. Questo ha incluso l'idea di non guardando il pornografia/masturbando dovuto agli effetti di condizionamento che potrebbe risultare nelle questioni di stimolo/prestazione. Penso che abbia sofferto esattamente questo problema poiché lui l'ha descritto. *** El programa está en inglés
El seminario de la virginidad me ayudó a ser más asertivo en mi sexualidad y me ayudó a aclarar detalles sobre el sexo, despejándose la niebla de una vez por todas. Kermit respondió a todas nuestras preguntas y fue realmente alucinante ver como algunos tipos cambiaban completamente sus creencias y entendimiento sobre la dinámica hombre / mujer, mirando a sus ojos puedes sentir como sus enfoques del sexo se giran como un calcetín... su realidad se acercó más a la verdad. Asistir al seminario de Frank "Hombres adultos vírgenes" me abrió una nueva luz. Aprendí mucho de lo sexual que es este mundo. Con el conocimiento adquirido siento que ahora estoy un paso más cerca de perder la virginidad. Lo primero que aprendí es que un hombre debe liderar la interacción con una mujer. Algo importante de lo que explica Frank es que hay señales que indican si alguien es virgen. Es bueno saber que, mientras estoy en mi proceso de perder la virginidad, puedo hacer cosas para aparentar no serlo. Algunos puntos claves que aprendí en el seminario son: Aprendí mucho del seminario. El punto que ya conocía previamente pero que Kermit apuntilló perfectamente es que necesito rebajar mis expectativas (¡y que está bien hacerlo!) pues al fin y al cabo mis primeras novias serán "práctica". Si quiero chicas de alta calidad debo saber como manejar las de baja calidad. Kermit también me enseñó qué hacer exactamente por "la noche", así que no tengo que preocuparme por ello y me hará sentir con más confianza. También sé qué puedo hacer antes de "la noche" como preparación: por ejemplo qué leer (enfermedades de transmisión sexual, eyaculación precoz, técnicas sexuales, el cuerpo humano...) Sin embargo, está enfocado a los vírgenes, y no está en otros libros de seducción o auto ayuda, pues la mayor parte asumen que ya tienes una experiencia sexual básica, y se centra en lo que pasa antes del sexo. Él no da consejos vagos como "sabrás lo que tienes que hacer" o "vendrá naturalmente", sino consejos realistas y prácticos de qué hacer para aumentar tu confort con las mujeres y finalmente tener sexo con ellas. Encuentros como este son siempre buenos porque encuentras a otros tipos en la misma situación, así que sabes que no estás solo. Simplemente estando ahí, sabes que estás en una mejor posición que todos los otros vírgenes que no están. Reason # 8 Resisting Change The social norms surrounding sex and dating evolve as society evolves. What was considered common sense knowledge in the past may not be considered common sense today. What was unacceptable in the past may be fully expected of you today. What was more than acceptable in the past might not be acceptable today. Older women who hold on to certain dating codes of behaviors that they followed when they were younger, will do well to connect with older men that also follow and hold on to those same dating codes of behaviors. I have coached older men who want to follow older dating codes of behaviors, so these types of men do exist. They would follow the same older dating codes of conduct that some older woman want to follow, but the issue lies in that she often rejects him anyway based on other reasons. These are some examples of the reasons for rejection despite the older man also following her older dating codes: Bob: He does not believe in sex before commitment will not pressure for sex for the first 3 months. Rejected: He is not assertive in other areas of dating. He also does not take care of his appearance like a younger suitor seeking sex would. Richard: He insists on making the first move and be the one to initiate taking the relationship to the next level. Rejected: He doesn’t have an interest in listening to a woman expressing her opinions. Thomas: He insists that he pay for dates because “that is what a gentleman does.” Rejected: He does not value his partner working at all. He expects her to quit her job if they get serious and live on his meager earnings, which means she will not get to maintain her current lifestyle. William: He focuses on romantic courtship and makes efforts to woo her in exactly the way she always dreamed about. Rejected: His ill health means his partner has to become his quasi-nurse as well as his lover. See what I mean? In today's more modern society, the rules of dating have changed from the time she was a young lady. Older women who hold on to older dating codes of behaviors are less likely to meet and keep older men that have left those older dating codes of behaviors behind. Some examples of older dating codes: Demanding Monogamy Immediately Older women who expect Monogamy from the first date will likely turn off honest men who are openly dating multiple women at the same time, until one of them earns his full commitment. Dishonest men will stick around and lie about being Monogamous to get sex. Honest men will not stop dating other women just because you demand that he not date anyone else as the two of you get to know each other. Commitment must be earned over time. Just because you go on a date does not mean either of you must act Monogamous and not explore other dating possibilities. Even if you have sex with someone, that STILL does not put you in a position to demand Monogamy. The Monogamy conversation is one that needs to be discussed after you both have proven to each other that Monogamy is warranted. At one point in history it made sense to only date one person at a time. There were a lot of mores and social norms in place that made things like divorce unacceptable and pre-marital sex unacceptable. Expecting the Man to Always Make the First Move If you want to be in a long term, serious relationship with a man, you need to come to terms with reality. Waiting for a man you like to always make the first move, is now working against you. If you are not getting the attention from men like you did when you were younger, but you still want to date, it means you have to prepare yourself to start making the first move. Prepare yourself to ask men out on dates and risk rejection. As an older woman, you have to offer more than your competition if you want to beat out the competition. You have to put yourself out there, and that means that you may get embarrassed or even humiliated by a rejection. That is the risk men take when they make the first move, and it is now a risk you must take as well in order to beat out the competition for their attention. Expecting the Man to Always Pay; Even When You Ask Him Out Prepare yourself to pay for dates. Do you believe in equality between the genders? Do you believe it is good to be independent? The best way to prove that is to at least pay for yourself when going out on a date. If you want to attract a quality man, then you must act like a quality lady. To illustrate this point, I coached an older man who had met an older woman that he was really interested in dating initially, but then he was turned off from dating her. Here is his story: Single Shane: He was asked out on a date by an older woman who “pursued” him. She had suggested a dinner and then a theatrical show afterwards. At the end of the meal she expected him to pay. He figured “Ok, I will pay for the meal and she will pay for the show tickets as she invited me, right?” At the theatre, they fought because she expected him to pay for the show too! Single Shane then walked away from the older woman.“ Refusing To Try New Ways Of Dating One of the questions I get asked by older women is: “Where do I meet new men to date?” The answer: Everywhere. The grocery store, getting friends and family to set you up on blind dates, Speed Dating, introduction services and match making, social media, meet up groups, taking a class, and dating apps. That is just a sample. However, older women tend not to stretch themselves out of their comfort zones. They wait to be “found”, or have a preconceived notion about how a couple “should” meet. If you are too attached to the fantasy in your mind about how you are “supposed” to meet your next great love, DO THIS: Sit down and write out the movie script that is in your mind. Now, put that script in a drawer and stop wasting time with your fantasies and focus on reality! You have to get out there to find him through taking action, not wishful thinking! Take every opportunity to meet new people; get yourself out there, and TRY. If you try online dating and have no luck, stop blaming the dating site or app. Consider professional coaching on how to present yourself online to better attract quality dates. You do not get to stay home wishing for some mystery man to call you out of the blue, and ask you out on a date. Get out of the house, go do social things, get online, but whatever you do, GO FOR IT! Frozen In Time In my coaching practice with older women clients, a common problem with some of them is how frozen in time some of them are. Now, I want to make it clear it is not all of them; but for a sizable group, there is an issue of wishing that dating was “just like in the past”, to the point that they hold themselves back from modern dating conduct. This can be a major obstacle from not only getting a date, but also wrecking their chances when they have met someone to date. If you are a woman that is trapped by the past because you refuse to adapt to modern dating, then you might be making the choice to be single. Your role in the sexual attention paradigm is shifting from young women being on the receiving end of sexual attention, to older women now having to be on the projecting end of sexual attention. This means taking on a more proactive role in dating. This includes making the first move, paying for dates, risking rejection and so forth. It is all the traits associated with the concept of a traditional masculine gender role. I personally believe the shift in the sexual attention paradigm is at the source of the dilemma because women don’t know how to aggressively pursue men when they want to date. For young women, having sex and even love in their lives is more of a choice. When she is younger, it seems as if things “just happen.” As in: She “just happens” to meet a guy that “just happened” to start a conversation with her. They “just happen” to have a romantic date where that first kiss “just happens” between the two of them. Sex “just happens”, and then maybe a relationship “just happens.” Well, let me break the spell of the bubble of delusion for you ladies. Nothing ever “just happens”. The men had to work. They had to work at finding new ways to meet women. They had to sign up for classes/events/social outings they did not initially want to in order to put themselves out there just to indicate they were available and interested in dating, even if they came across desperate, awkward and needy. It did not “just happen” for you, a man made it happen. A man had to Work: -Work at the initial the approach and first contact and risk rejection. -Work at planning and paying for a date, and arrange for it to be romantic. -Work at making your feel comfortable and creating the right moment to go in for a first kiss on the lips, so that you would not turn your head away in rejection and give him your cheek. -Work at initiating making sex happen by creating the right atmosphere. -Work very hard to keep your attention by attempting to anticipate your needs and wants. (This is I believe where the original problem of an older woman now expecting men to read her mind comes from), because he knew he was facing a saturated dating marketplace where the number of young ladies was vastly disproportionately lower to the number of potential suitors she had. He could easily get beaten out by any competition that retained her attention better than he could. A man made all those things happen, regardless of all the odds against him, because if he did not, he would end up perpetually single and no one would pity him. No one would allow him to play the victim card, and he could never be coddled, and blame women for not being good enough candidates. The onus was on him to work for it due to the saturated dating marketplace he was in. Either he put himself out there and committed to the work necessary to be a better dating candidate, or he would end up with the shame of either occasionally paying a prostitute for sex, or end up an adult male virgin. For women who feel that things like dating and meeting someone “just happens” you need to stop and realize that it never just happened. It just feels like things “just happened” for you because someone else was doing the work to make all those things happen. You might have been able to get away with acting naïve about the ways the sexual attention paradigm worked in your favor when you were younger, but you are now older, wiser, and more knowledgeable about the world, which means you do not get to be naïve about it any longer, and on some level you know that. The dating marketplace was ALWAYS a saturated one. It is just now that you are an older woman, you are switching roles with where the younger men used to be, and now you have to put in the work. It’s Not Fair! Older women are right when they say life is not fair. They feel that life is not fair because many of them no longer receive the same level of attention they used to get when they were younger. In addition, there are fewer men interested in pursuing them. They are correct. It was not fair then, when they were younger and they didn’t have to work as hard for the attention, which was in their favor. It is not fair now that they are older and it’s not in their favor anymore, and now they must actively pursue men. That is life, and life is often not fair, nor has it ever been fair. It is what it is, and that aspect of life is not going to change. Life was never fair to the men who had to fight for the attention of a woman, the same type of attention of a man that older women are now fighting for. Some of these changes in social norms may seem unfair. However, these changes are directly tied to other changes in social norms that most people would agree are good for society. Remember that at one time, women were not allowed to vote, could not enroll for education, could not be a single parent, could not file for divorce, couples of different races and religions could not legally be together, certain sexual orientations were considered a mental illness, and a number of people did not have options based on their own choices. All of those social norms changed for the betterment of society. People have more rights and opportunities today than they ever did before (mind you, I am not saying there isn’t room for improvement, but it is better than it is used to be). With those new social norms comes a social cost. The price is that a person must know what they want and be willing to do whatever it takes to go after it. It is in knowing what you want that helps you choose the best options for you when you are overwhelmed by the power of the choices that you have. The power of choice is what makes dating so complicated. The power of choice without knowing what to do with it, can lead people to misery. That is something I see a lot of in my coaching practice. People simply not knowing themselves enough to eliminate options from the overwhelming choices, to figure out what to do with their lives and love lives. Today, gender roles (part of those pesky social norms that have modified over the years) are a little more fluid. That means that older women must adapt to those changes and take on some of the behaviors they associated as only falling under the role of males, if they intend to beat the odds and be the older women that actually have a man in their lives. Reason # 9 Unreasonable Expectations Not everyone is going to be into you just because you expect they should be. It is one thing if you believe in yourself and feel you have a lot to offer. That is good self-esteem. However, if you expect that everyone should recognize it, without you having to prove it, then we are crossing over into the realm of unreasonable expectations. I often hear from older women who are single that they simply cannot find good men. Those men in general, simply fall short of meeting her expectations. However, each time I encounter such a report, what I do not see explored by her is whether or not the expectations of the older woman complaining are reasonable given her circumstances. Come Back Soon To Read Part 12 of this Series Helpful tips to find a wedding photographer are showcased in this contributed post. Although you'll have a marriage certificate and your union bands, they are still not enough to rekindle those good wedding memories. But with wedding photographs, you can easily walk down the memory lane and relive that special day all over again. Typically, anyone can take pictures, and you may even request one of your friends to handle that, provided you have a good DSLR camera. However, to ensure your moments are well captured and preserved, you may have to hire a professional. Someone who can capture emotional but beautiful shots. So, when looking to hire a wedding photographer, consider these 3 essentials.
1. Gallery The first thing you'd want to see is the photographer's portfolio. This will at least introduce you to some of their works, and you get to gauge their styles and skills. While assessing the gallery, make use of the 12 principles of a photograph which are Impact, Creativity, Color Balance, Subject Matter, Composition, Style, Story Telling, Center of Interest, Presentation, Lighting and Technical Excellence. Photographers have different ways of telling their story. And by going through their galleries, you are able to see a variety of photography styles that you think can be good for your wedding. If you are not sure about what works best, let photographers know your needs and expectations. They'll be able to develop a story for you based on your requirements. You could use a professional Vittore Buzzi photographer, that ensure you get cute wedding pictures for your everlasting memories. 2. Covers groundwork If there is one thing that separates quality and ordinary photographers, that would be their planning skills. An excellent photographer will make sure they prepare well in advance, instead of just showing up during the wedding day. Have a list ready that defines the activities of the day, speakers and moments you want to be photographed. It's important to do this so that every special moment is captured and nothing important is left out. Your photographer will then plan the best approach, angles and background to use. 3. Cost Photography is one of the lucrative artistic work. Whether it's nature, documentary, food, architectural, landscape, fashion or wedding photography. Therefore, before hiring a photographer, be sure to compare several price packages and basing them on the type of photographs they take. There are photographers with slightly cheaper packages than others, but you want to be sure they offer quality. Most professional photographers offer four types of packages. They include bronze, silver, gold and platinum. In other cases, photographers will charge based on some factors such as their brand name, labor and equipment used, operation cost and size of the event. Find a photographer that offers the most reasonable package and the best price possible. When selecting a photographer for your wedding, it's always important to also bring your spouse on board. Although the two of you may not agree on some things, at least find common ground to accommodate all your preferences. With that said and done, tie the knot. Happy marriage. Reason # 7 Baggage I do not think it is fair to say that older women have more baggage than other human beings. I do not believe that is the case. If you are human you have baggage; regardless of your gender. When I am coaching older male clients, the issue that I often hear them express is that although they are fully attracted to older women and they want to be in a relationship with an older woman when they have attempted to date them, some older women turn a romantic date into a therapy session (when they promptly empty their baggage)! The issue is not that older woman have baggage. Let’s be clear, we ALL have some baggage. As reported by my client base, the issue is that older women want to share, discuss, and disseminate all of their baggage early on while dating. This turns off many older men, who have baggage of their own and do not want to hear her baggage right away, until he decides if he wants to even date her again! The 2 issues that I hear the most from older male clients with regards to dating older women are: 1. Older women turn dates into therapy sessions. They are seeking a friendly ear to listen to their problems, but they are not interested in actually having a date. 2. Older women come across as bitter Issue # 1 Sometimes what an older woman really needs is to have a friend who will listen to her. In the absence of a friend, she attempts to date in order to seek out that kind of friendship. However, dating to find friendship does not work. People do not go on dates to find friends. They go on dates to find someone to be romantic with. If you are an older woman who is not really interested in dating, but are using the guise of dating to find friendship for companionship, it is likely you are going to get rejected a lot. You will never get either a second date, or a friendship. Quality older men do not want women they have to rescue. Dating is no time for a “woe-is-me” pity party. Dating is when you showcase what you have to offer as you explore what he has to offer to you. Dating is not a time to recruit sympathy for how life has been so unfair to you. If you need a friend to listen to you and comfort you, but you are not interested in having someone make a pass at you on a date, do not date! Start a support group instead. At least you will find the support you seek without having to reject someone’s unwanted advances, or be rejected by someone who wanted more than just friendship. Do not date if all you want is friendship. If you seek an audience instead of a relationship; start therapy, not dating. I am not being mean. I am very serious in that I want you to heal. You need a competent therapist, not a new boyfriend. If you carry your core hurt into every new relationship without healing that core hurt, it will surface and ruin your chances when you do finally date a great guy. If you have found an older man who wants to be your therapist, most likely he suffers from “The Savior Complex”, which is a whole other topic and article for another time. Issue # 2 Some older women come across angry, negative and very bitter. They are so bitter in fact that no matter how beautiful they are on the outside, their bitter personality will leave a bad taste in the scope of the older men who have dared to date them. It does not matter why you are bitter. That is not the issue, nor is it a puzzle for the next older man you date to solve. It is no man’s responsibility to teach you that all men are not the same. That's not his job. Just like it is not your job as a woman to prove to him that not all women are the same. It is up to each individual to deal with his or her own preconceived notions. Hint: If you already believe that all men are the same, those are the only men you will end up with. When you do meet a man who is different, you simply will not have the faith required to see it through and give him a chance. A quality older man doesn’t stick around too long if he has to convince you; because he does not have too. He knows that it is not his job, and he has too many other options to be too preoccupied with convincing you. An older woman should not take her bitterness out on an older man (or any man for that matter) that she is interested in dating. Just like the way you do not want to have to pay the price for any mistakes other women have made against the older man you may be dating. Every older woman who is drowning in bitterness has her reasons. *Some are bitter from unmet, unreasonable expectations. For example: She resents that she does not get the same attention from men at her current age, that she used to get when she was in her 20s. *Some are bitter because of the way they were treated by the men they was involved with in the past. *Some women are bitter because despite their best efforts to take care of their health, their bodies are still breaking down. *Some are bitter because they made some bad choices. For example: She left a good man to be with a new lover, and the new lover abandoned her shortly thereafter. *Some are bitter because they have a lot to offer; yet they struggle to find a relationship partner and do not understand why they can’t. (This is one of the reasons that prompted me to put together this article). You have a right to your own emotions. If you are bitter about your life, own it. Deal with it, and process it. However, do not take it out on men. Men are not the reason you are in the situation you are in. It is not because “there are no good men” out there. There are great men out there. You probably have met them. They usually come in the form of men you have rejected and put into the “friend-zone”. Remember those nice guys? Guys who were “too nice”, to the point you weren’t attracted to them and rejected them? If every guy you ever dated was a “jerk”, you have to address the common element in every relationship you have ever had: You. You are the common element in every dating dilemma you have ever had. Until you make you better; you will not have your relationships with men get better. Be accountable for your choices, and stop bashing men because you are bitter about the way your life ended up. In conversations about dating men, or in an actual conversation with a men while on a date, your bitterness can come through with how you interpret the way the conversation is going. If he is sharing his preferences and interests of how he hopes a relationship will develop and play out with you, and your first reaction is to immediately say something very negative, it may be coming from a very real core hurt. For example: He mentions that he has to travel for business a few times a year. Is your first thought: A) He is insinuating that he wants a submissive housewife that never is allowed to leave the house. Or B) You will ask him more about where he likes to travel and what kind of vacation the two of you could take? If you answered “A” you are reacting with your own baggage. THAT is an example of YOUR BAGGAGE. If you are nursing an emotional wound, but you also do want to have a new relationship in your life, it is best that you make every effort to heal your core hurt. When your core hurt causes you to lash out negatively, it will shut you down from hearing what people are actually saying to you, and it will completely turn away older men who would have loved to have gotten closer to you. Do not suppress your core hurt. Face it, process it, and heal it. If all you do is suppress it with “positive talk”, your core hurt will materialize in self-sabotaging and emotionally destructive behaviors that will actually make your personality unattractive, even to someone that originally liked you. Quality older men interpret women who male bash as a red flag. I cannot say it any more clear than that. Gender Bashing is a red flag that will cost you a great potential candidate. Whether veiled in humor or not, male bashing is still gender hate. Men know when they see it; male bashing jokes, anti-dating memes, and a disdain for the male gender. Do not kid yourselves ladies. The men on your social media acknowledge it for what it is: a sign that even if you are attractive enough for sex, you are not “serious-relationship-candidacy”. Maybe you feel justified in your anti-male rhetoric because of what men did to you in your past. Real quality men will not be as sympathetic. What they will want to know is how long you stayed with those men? How often did you choose to date jerks, while rejecting the nice guys that asked you out? Quality men will not judge you for what men did to you in the past. They will judge you on how you coped with it, and how you left it behind. Quality older men know that you chose to date your ex, and stay with your ex. Older men know that men generally must approach women first and make the first moves with the risk of rejection. It is the women who choose who they end up dating. If you are bitter because you did not know you should have chosen the nice guys that you rejected, a quality older man is not going to want to hear you complain about it now. Men are not the reason you are miserable and have a miserable love life. Your inability to chose better dating candidates did that. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? Women do not male bash because they remain single. They remain single because they male bash. Quality older men want nothing to do with your bitterness. Quality older men do not want to have to rescue you from yourself. Quality men want a quality woman that expects as much from herself as she does from him, and focuses on what she has to offer as much as what she wants from him. To illustrate exactly how important this is, I want to share some of my work experience with you. I work as a coach for a high-end matchmaking agency. This means I coach, among other people, older men who are millionaires. These older men are very wealthy and are looking for a serious relationship. Here is where I tend to surprise older women: The vast majority of older men, even the millionaires, would rather enter into relationships with women their own age than with women who are younger. Believe it or not, I can tell you from my personal experience, that over 80% of these older men WANT to date older women. However, they are often so disappointed with how older women behave on dates, that some of them just give up trying to date older women and instead only try to date younger women. Do you hear me? Wealthy older men want someone they can enjoy life with for the little time they have left alive. They face the reality of their mortality and know that they are on borrowed time. An older man does not want to stick around for an older woman who holds onto her misery. He has enough of his own baggage! What he is looking for is more joy in his life. I had an older male client share this story with me that illustrates this point: Single Steve: Things were going really well with the older woman he was dating, until one night he started getting raging texts from her! Steve had no clue what she was texting about. She accused him of cheating on her, planning to hit her, and all kinds of negative things. Later, she wrote to Steve to say that she had “kind of just lost her cool that night and lashed out at him.” She texted to him that she was “sorry”. He told her to NEVER contact him again! He was not willing to be "some punching bag for her lousy past." It is never a man’s job to heal you from your past hurts. You have to heal yourself. It is only his job to build a future with you together. It is an unreasonable expectation to expect a quality man to tolerate your inexcusable behaviors. Heal first. Then find love next. Do not expect a man to create joy for you. You have to learn to find joy in your own life. If you are seeking a man to save you, the only men you will attract are men that have as much, or even more, baggage than you do! Consider this objectively: Reverse the genders. Would you want to date an older man drowning in his own baggage that constantly belittles women, expresses misogynistic comments, and then passes them off as crude humor? If you met an older man who thinks all women are evil, selfish, “take-what-you-can-get-and-then-dump-them”, wouldn’t your guard be up? If the older man that asked you out, posts memes on his social media about everything that is wrong with women, and generalizes all women as “gold-diggers”, “sperm stealing”, and “paternity fraud con-artists”, based on how all of his ex-wives lied, cheated and stole from him, would you be jumping at the bait to date him? Of course not! There is no way you would ever date a man who came across like he was going to mistreat you as revenge for everything the women in his past put him through. Right? Do you now understand why an older man isn’t rushing to date you when you have bitter baggage? An attachment to your past heartbreaks is the worst place to put your focus on if you want to experience love today. Heal from your past, and work on making your present worthwhile, so you can have a future to look forward too with more love. Reason # 8 Resisting Change The social norms surrounding sex and dating evolve as society evolves. What was considered common sense knowledge in the past may not be considered common sense today. What was unacceptable in the past may be fully expected of you today. What was more than acceptable in the past might not be acceptable today. Older women who hold on to certain dating codes of behaviors that they followed when they were younger, will do well to connect with older men that also follow and hold on to those same dating codes of behaviors. Take A Quick Peek At My New Book! Delve into some “Great Conversations” They say everyone has a book inside of them. Well, I’ve finally let mine out! After decades of talking to celebrities on the radio, I’ve chronicled many encounters within the covers of Great Conversations: My Interviews With Two Men On The Moon And A Galaxy Of Stars. Head down Memory Lane with some of the biggest stars. From Academy Award© winners such as, Cloris Leachman, Karl Malden, and Christopher Plummer; to Emmy© winners such as Ed Asner, Michael Moriarty, and Lindsay Wagner; to Tony© winners such as Carol Channing, and Julie Newmar. Also featured are some of the most familiar TV icons you’ve spent hours watching, such as Buddy Ebsen, Bob Denver, Dick Van Patten, Gary Coleman, Steve Allen, and Burt Ward, to name a few. And there are even a couple of guys from a very elite group of twelve men who have left their footprints on the moon! BUY THE BOOK AT
To hear some of the interviews that Peter Anthony Holder conducted with Frank Kermit, please go here: http://www.franktalks.com/blog/peter-anthony-holder-and-the-stuph-file-interviews 8 marriage tips are explored in this contributed post. You can have the best relationship, the perfect proposal, and the dream wedding, but marriage is a whole different story. If can be the greatest adventure of your life, but it takes more than a ring to make a marriage work.
Here are some tips that will make your marriage a breeze. 1| Spending time together Just because you’re married and have a house full of children does not mean that you stop spending time together - alone. If you have busy lives, then dedicate one evening a week or month as a date night. There are some great ideas you can use that don’t cost the moon. 2| Spending time apart On the flip side, you can’t live in each other’s pockets for the next 50 years - that’s a sure fire way to drive each other insane. You might love each other to pieces, but you need to have some time apart to do your own thing and to spend time with your own friends. 3| Talking You might think that you know everything about your partner, but as the year's pass, people change. Things that they believed or opinions they once had might not be the case anymore. Talking about the important things might not always be easy, but it’s vital to grow together. 4| Arguing Whether you talk calmly or yell the roof down if you need to talk something through that you disagree about then do. Keeping it bottled up will just cause it to come out at a worse moment. But, whatever you do, don’t go to bed without making up. Even if you have to stay up all night, makeup before you sleep - you never know what will happen tomorrow. 5| Counseling Sometimes there comes the point where a disagreement or a situation that can’t be solved overnight - or over a week. In these times looking into marriage counseling might be a good option - just to have an outsider's opinion can really help you to see each other with fresh eyes. 6| Have fun Just because you’ve been together forever, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Just letting go and having a laugh is one of the best things to do with your partner - and it’s probably one of the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Go out and do something new or have fun at home, just don’t let the seriousness of grown-up life bog down your marriage. 7| Heat it up There’s a misconception that intimacy dies after the honeymoon - but it isn’t true. Keep things hot in the bedroom just because you want to, and not for any other reason. 8| Be grateful No matter what age you found your perfect partner, be grateful for the time you have with them. Even if you end in divorce, remember the good times and don’t let the bad destroy the parts of your relationship that were great. Don’t take them for granted. Whenever they make you a drink or dinner, when they just pick up your favorite treat for no reason or help you to get better when you’re ill - always be thankful for them. |
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