 Why Are Hot Good Looking People Still Single? Why Are Good Looking People Still Single? by Frank Kermit Dating Dilemmas 81, this is Frank Kermit's 122nd appearance on Passion radio program. Airs on Montreal CJAD 800 's and Toronto Newstalk 1010 CFRB. Frank Kermit joins producer and host Dr Laurie Betito and sponsor Fritz-Gerald of Elite Speed Dating to talk about the Dating Dilemmas people face.
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 If you can't handle me at my worst meme Dangerous Memes by Frank Kermit "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" This meme has been floating around the Internet for some time. It is usually attributed to the late Marilyn Monroe 1926-1962 (muse for the song "Candle in the Wind" by Elton John). Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jeane Mortenson) was an American actress and model. Famous for playing comic "dumb blonde" characters, she became one of the most popular sex symbols of the 1950s, emblematic of the era's attitudes towards sexuality. I do not know for sure if it was Marilyn Monroe who actually made the statement. What the Meme was Intending to Say Essentially, the meme tries to communicate that there is a price to everything. If you want someone for all the great things that person offers then you have to accept that each person is a human being. A human being is imperfect. A human being has faults. There will be things you LOVE about a person and there will be things that you will not be able to stand about that SAME person. Do you want someone that has many of the qualities you are looking for? You will also have to accept all of the attributes that likely went along to helping that person develop those qualities. Do you want someone who has a very prestigious profession? You will also have to handle that such a person is likely not going to be around much for birthdays, holidays and the off time most other people get. Do you want someone who is very health, fit and attractive? You will also have to handle that such a person is likely not going to tolerate your unhealthy habits, and is going to sacrifice time to maintain that level of status; time that could have been spent with you. Do you want someone who is sweet, considerate and puts your needs first? Then you are going to have to handle that such a person might not be the most assertive person, and that you may have to step up to protect that person from others who use people pleasers. You cannot just want the good in a person without accepting the whole person, and that includes all the things about the person that you do not like. Why this Meme is Dangerous What makes this meme dangerous is that for some people, it has gone from a reminder to take the good with the bad, to become an excuse, practically a rallying cry, for people to excuse their own bad behavior. When I am coaching someone that I have this quote/meme thrown at me, it isn't from someone that is trying to present a balanced perspective, nor is it from someone that is even trying to be a better partner. It is being used by people that KNOW they are being abusive and justifying their abusive behaviors by saying they do other things to compensate. The woman that admits in couples coaching that she spits on her husband when they argue and then uses that meme to justify it because she is a good mother to their kids never apologizing for the bad behavior and not even trying to be a better person. The man that admits to putting his girlfriend at risk with unsafe adulterous sex and then uses that meme to justify it because he financially supports her lifestyle. never apologizing for the bad behavior and not even trying to be a better person. That is what makes this meme so dangerous. As A Coach The work that I do is a privilege. I see the best and worst of humanity. I see the best and worst of individual people. What would l like to see more of? People who give more of their best instead of justifying their worst. Here is a final bit of frank advice for you, from the coach: If your worst is pushing people away then maybe your best really isn't all that good enough. -Frank Kermit P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign Up For Frank Coaching Now. Be A Better Partner  Is Your Wing (Man or Woman) Getting In Your Way? Having a wingman (or woman) can be helpful while scouting for dates; other times, you’re better off flying solo. We take a closer look at why your best friend can be your worst enemy when you’re single. By Christine Champ for Match.com Happen Magazine  It's Your TIME Now When Anna, a single gal from Seattle, WA set out to find a boyfriend, her friend Kim offered to act as her “wing woman” during her search for an entire year. At first, it sounded like a fabulous idea — but just one month later, Anna “fired” Kim. You see, whenever the two met a single man somewhere, Kim turned into a flirting machine: tossing her hair, giving seductive sideways glances…she stole the spotlight every time away from Anna, even going so far as to physically block her friend out of some conversations by standing in front of her! Whenever Anna asked Kim if she was interested in these men herself, she’d deny it. Instead of a boyfriend, all Anna acquired during her short-term experiment was self-doubt, frustration and confusion. As Anna describes it, all her experience managed to do “was clip my own wings.” Mark Fitzgerald, 36, from Sacramento, CA recalls the time he asked his longtime friend to size up the cute retail clerk he’d been mustering up the courage to ask out. Instead of returning from the recon mission with his stamp of approval, Mark’s friend came back with the retail clerk’s phone number — and plans to date her himself. So — (frenemies aside, obviously) — why would a friend, sister, brother or other close comrade get in your way when you’re looking for love? We’ve come up with a few reasons that take malice out of the equation entirely. Five reasons why good friends can sometimes make bad “wingers”...  Conversations For Dating 1. They feel obligated to make chivalrous chit-chat on your behalf and end up shifting the target’s attention in the wrong direction. Fitzgerald has been on both sides of the wingman block himself; once, when a friend’s flirting turned into floundering, he felt responsible for keeping the conversation going so the woman his friend was interested in wouldn’t leave. Fitzgerald now realizes that commandeering the conversation might actually intimidate a tongue-tied buddy, so he makes an effort to tread carefully when helping cultivate initial small talk before excusing himself from the conversation entirely.  Stop Insecurity! Learn to have CHARISMA 2. Their own insecurity drives them to try and “win” every perceived competition… even if they lose your friendship in the process. For some people — single or not — the subconscious urge to compete with their peers trumps everything else. It’s about proving they can win the guy or girl’s attention, even if they’re not looking for a relationship themselves. Dr. Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., author of Love in 90 Days, observes that often, insecurity is what’s really behind these competitors’ outward show of confidence and flirting — along with the drive to demonstrate they’re desirable, regardless of the cost to their friendships. Sometimes, adds Dr. Kirschner, “scarcity consciousness” can also make people worry “there’s not enough to go around” when it comes to finding potential dates.  Get Yourself Together 3. They’re addicted to being in the social spotlight. Ron Geraci, author of The Bachelor Chronicles, notes that some people simply “cannot stand the fact that someone else is getting attention.” But, adds Geraci, don’t condemn these attention hogs too harshly; basking in the romantic limelight gives a “shot of adrenaline to their ego” that boosts their own low self-confidence.  The Journey 4. Some people have trouble choosing their own romantic partners, so they aren’t helpful in scoping prospects for you, either. A recent University of Indiana study suggests that people note the preferences of others — regardless of whether they’re friends or strangers — to make their own search for a mate more efficient. This stems from the idea that “who others like might be a good choice for ourselves,” according to Skyler Place, a researcher in UI’s Department of Psychological and Brain Studies who coauthored the study, along with Peter M. Todd, a professor in the university’s Cognitive Science Program. Frank Kermit, relationship coach and author of From Loser to Seducer, cites another reason: sometimes people don’t trust their own judgment when it comes to finding someone else attractive.  Learn The Ethics of Seduction 5. You’re hunting for a date, but your friend’s a natural-born poacher. University of Texas psychology professor David Buss coined the term “mate poaching” to refer to people’s tendencies to try to steal romantic partners away from others. Geraci believes the principle applies equally to singles on the prowl, saying that “it’s a convenient way to find a mate because someone else is doing a lot of the work.” Singles should use caution when choosing wingmen or wing women; watch out for those friends who exhibit potential poaching tendencies and avoid going out with them when you’re looking for dates. After all, when you’ve engaged a prospect that piques your pals’ interest, “it’s like bringing your kill into a pack of hyenas,” warns Geraci.  Stop Letting Her Use You Mending a “broken wing” relationship Before you try to mend your relationship with a failed wingman or wing woman, make sure you’re not misreading any signals — like the silent cues that your tall, dark and handsome (or blonde and beautiful) target sends that indicate your attraction isn’t mutual after all. According to matchmaker and etiquette coach Joy Nordenstrom, the three biggest clues that your flirting is indeed being reciprocated include: direct eye contact, mirroring (i.e., your crush copies your body movements) and leaning in to get physically closer to you. If it’s still obvious your friend’s crossed a boundary, here’s one solution: exclude him or her from social situations where you might connect with someone romantically. Advises Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again: “that’s how you teach people that they’re socially unacceptable,” though she considers an intervention to be worthwhile if you believe your friend’s bad behavior is unintentional. If you do decide to stage an impromptu bathroom meeting to interrupt the offender’s advances, Kirschner recommends keeping it positive — like asking your cousin to tell the ladies about your smooth salsa moves, then adding that you’ll be ready to take the lead on the dance floor right after the next song begins.  Setting Your Boundaries Establishing the rules of engagement If you really want your wingman or wing woman to “rise to the occasion,” says Nordenstrom, establish some rules of engagement first so that it’s clear “you’re playing on the same team.” Start by clarifying your goals for the outing, and have your friend do the same. Agree to put each other in the best light possible throughout the evening — from subtly pointing out the broccoli in your friend’s teeth to bragging about his or her tennis skills. Think of flattering stories to share about your friend or make a mental note of his or her most attractive features before you go out together. Mutually agree on a code word (like “yesterday”) to indicate you’re interested in someone so both of you don’t end up inadvertently flirting with the same person. If you end up eyeing the same hottie without realizing it, take a beat by yourselves to discuss and compare your desire levels on a scale of 1 to 10. A good wingman or wing woman knows when “to step back,” but as Tessina also cautions, “every person you meet isn’t Mr. [or Ms.] right” — so choose your showdowns wisely!  Understanding on an Emotional Level Flying solo: is it an option? The insights we’ve shared here should help you choose a wingman or wing woman that brings out the absolute best in you — because, according to Nordenstrom, when your romantic radar reacts, you often “have a very short window to make a strong impression.” Or, try flying solo — Kirschner believes you may unleash your “inner charisma” when you’re forced to conquer your shyness and/or social anxiety. If you attempt a solo recon mission for scouting dating prospects and spend all night cowering next to the bathroom instead, finding a friendly co-pilot you can rely on is definitely the better way to fly! ***Disclaimer: DEAR READERS: This was an article written by Christine Champ for Match.com that Frank Kermit was quoted in. All rights, titles and interests in the article remain with the author and Match.com Author Bio: Christine Champ is a freelance writer based in the Northwest. Her writing has appeared on MSN.com, MSNBC.com, Film.com and in The Seattle Times.  Recipe for Asparagus Risotto Rice was introduced to Italy during Middle Ages from Arab traders. Risotto was born from that introduced grain, and was used to create this creamy dish which originated in the Northern Italian region.
Asparagus Risotto Recipe Ingredients 2 Tbsp unsalted butter 1/2 cup chopped shallots 1 cup arborio rice 1/4 cup dry white wine About 4 cups of chicken stock 1/2 pound asparagus, trimmed, tips cut off, tough skins of the spears peeled 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese Salt and pepper Method 1 In a 3 or 4 quart saucepan, heat 1 tablespoon butter on medium heat. Add the shallots and cook for a minute or two, until translucent. Add the rice and cook for 2 minutes more, stirring until nicely coated. 2 While the shallots are cooking, bring the stock to a simmer in a saucepan. 3 Add the wine. Slowly stir, allowing the rice to absorb the wine. Once the wine is almost completely absorbed, add 1/2 cup of hot stock to the rice. Continue to stir until the liquid is almost completely absorbed, adding more stock in 1/2 cup increments. Stir often to prevent the rice from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Continue cooking and stirring rice, adding a little bit of broth at a time, cooking and stirring until it is absorbed, until the rice is tender, but still firm to the bite, about 20-25 minutes. With the last ladle of stock, add the asparagus. Turn off the heat. Note the stock amount given is approximate. You may need a little more or less. If you end up needing more stock and you find yourself without, just use water. 4 Gently stir in the Parmesan cheese and the remaining 1 tablespoon butter. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately. Recipe Courtesy Of: Cristina Mucciardi CookandDate events aren’t set up to be cheesy, intimidating or plain awkward. Every event is attended by successful singles wanting to experience something new and exciting. Bars, restaurants, clubs can be fun but variety is the spice of life and our events were conceived to be fun, stress-free environment where laughs, cocktails, networking, and a little cooking take center stage. In short, all you need to do is show up and enjoy the best of what this city is known to offer: great people, great food, great wine, and a true joie de vivre. This is the recipe that has made CookandDate a true success story for the past 8 years, week after week.
**Additional Information was added by Franktalks.com**
 5 Financial Tips for Starting a Family 5 Financial Tips for Starting a Family By: Daniel Enayatzadeh Are you thinking of starting a family? If you and your partner are exploring the possibility of having children, it’s important to prepare for the financial impact your new little one will bring! The following are a few key points to keep in mind: 1. Maternal and parental benefits: In my experience, the very first decision couples tackle with is how they're going to adjust their lives and schedules to accommodate the new addition to their family. In some cases, the income they’ve been accustomed to may decrease, please see my points #2 and #3 for more. Gaining a solid understanding of the Quebec maternal and parental insurance plan is the first step in a plan for the future. Please see the following link which includes a benefits calculator. It can provide a good idea as to how much money you can expect to receive. http://www.rqap.gouv.qc.ca/ 2. Understanding your budget: Whether or not you’ve been following a detailed budget, you can pretty much throw it out the window! Just joking! Hold onto it because you will likely need to adjust it. Have a sit down with your partner and determine what your pre and post baby costs are. This is an important step in creating a game plan, as well as knowing what you can expect, especially when your incomes may experience a temporary adjustment. 3. Emergency fund: Children come with all kinds of unexpected expenses. Setting aside some cash, that’s not invested anywhere and available at a moment’s notice will provide you with the peace of mind to tackle the unexpected. 4. Tackle your credit card debt: You can also consider speaking to your bank or a mortgage broker about consolidating your loans. 5. Talk to a friend: Before you go on a shopping spree for all those baby accessories and items, talk to a friend who’s been through it and ideally bring them with you shopping. It can help narrow down the necessities. Last but certainly not least, book a meeting with your financial advisor! -Daniel Author Bio: Daniel Enayatzadeh is a Financial Security Advisor servicing the province of Quebec and Ontario; representing more than 20 financial institutions. He works in two main areas:
He listens to each of your financial objectives and ask the right questions to accurately determine your individual needs. He truly loves what he does. He enjoys meeting with people and helping them navigate the intricate worlds of insurance and investments. He takes the trust and confidence that his clients' have given him very seriously and he always strive to maintain an open flow of communication. Daniel's clients have come to appreciate an exceptionally high level of service. His reputation is based on the long term relationships he has established and maintained. Daniel hopes to have the opportunity to build one with you! He can be reached at Telephone: 514 966 9400 Email: [email protected] His website is http://www.thefinancialadvisor.ca/  Recipe for Apricot Souffle  https://tinyurl.com/lcaatnm Apricots While Apricots have been around since 3000BC, the delicate souffle can trace it's origins back to the founder of Haute Cuisine, French chef Marie Antoine (Antonin)( 8 June 1784 – 12 January 1833) Since Apricots symbolize female beauty and sexuality, it's appropriate that this recipe was used at a CookandDate event! The creation of a souffle requires a delicate touch and attention to detail. The addition of vanilla adds a familiar taste which is loved by so many. Did you know that vanilla symbolizes happiness, lust and love? It's one of the most popular fragrances in the world. Ingredients for hot apricot souffles 11/2 teaspoons ground almonds or caster sugar 1 can apricot halves in natural juice, about 400 g, well drained 2 eggs, separated 2 tablespoons thick cream 1 tablespoon caster sugar 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar To finish icing sugar cocoa powder (optional) Preparation for hot apricot souffles 1 Preheat the oven to 200°C and place a baking tray inside to heat. Lightly butter four 175 ml ramekins and dust the sides with the ground almonds or caster sugar, shaking out the excess. 2 Put the apricot halves, egg yolks, cream, sugar, vanilla extract and lemon juice in a food processor or blender and process until smooth. 3 Place the eggwhites in a clean bowl and whisk until soft peaks form. Sift over the cream of tartar and continue whisking until stiff peaks form. Spoon the apricot mixture over the eggwhites and use a large metal spoon to fold together, taking care not to overmix and deflate the eggwhites. 4 Divide the apricot mixture among the prepared ramekins. Use a round-bladed knife to mark a circle in the centre of each soufflé; this helps the tops to rise evenly. 5 Place the ramekins on the heated baking tray and bake in the centre of the oven for 15 minutes, or until the soufflés are well risen and golden brown on top. Immediately dust with icing sugar, or a mixture of icing sugar and cocoa powder, sifted through a sieve, and serve at once before they deflate. Recipe Courtesy Of:Cristina Mucciardi
**Additional Information was added by Franktalks.com**
 Find The Right Sex Toys For A Couple by Dr Stacy Friedman  Safe Guard Your Lovers Pride How to Find the Right Toy for a Couple By Dr. Stacy Friedman Whether you’re a beginner or more advanced in using adult toys, knowing what toy to bring into your relationship may be confusing. Some people may feel that they are less of a lover or not capable enough to please their partner if they need or want to use toys, but that can’t be further from the truth! Toys are great if you want to spice things up! They can enhance any relationship and can even help with difficulty in having orgasms.
Here are some tips so you know what toys may be best for what you need.
Believe it or not 75% of women can’t have an orgasm through intercourse so this helps take some of the pressure off! Just make sure lube is used when putting the ring on or it may not slide on very comfortably…ouch!
The plug is a great prostate stimulator so anyone can enjoy anal play. Give some oral or have intercourse and then feel the intensity of your orgasm! Don’t knock it until you try it! The most important thing is deciding together, as a couple, what is best and just be open to trying something new. If it doesn’t work, then try something else but be open to variety, as it is the spice of life! Written by: Dr. Stacy Friedman About The Author Dr. Stacy Friedman, DHS, CSC Dr. Stacy is the founder of Creating Intimacy Coach, Inc. She got involved in the field of Clinical Sexology because of her passion for helping people learn to experience the best sexual intimacy with themselves and with their partner(s). She holds a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality, a Masters in Clinical Sexology and is a Certified Sex Coach. Dr. Stacy is a member of WASC (World Association of Sex Coaches), and of the ACS (American College of Sexologists), which shows she has earned top credentials in her field. She also has a BA in Psychology and a Registered Diagnostic Medical and Vascular Sonographer. Sex Coaching is designed to help women, men, and people of any sexual orientation or gender address their concerns about sexuality, sexual function and sexual expression. Additionally, since 2006, Dr. Stacy has been a consultant selling adult novelties and has coached and educated many people in a fun, positive approach to love, romance and in all aspects of sexuality. Her education and personal, spiritual and sexual journey, including life experience uniquely enables her to help people to face the challenges that may lie ahead and to achieve their goals. If you would like to discuss a concern in greater detail, you may contact Dr. Stacy at 561-899-7669 or by email at [email protected] for a complimentary consultation. Dr. Stacy works with all aspects of sexuality and specializes in women’s issues, low libido, couples with mismatched sex drives and LGBTQ concerns. Coaching sessions are available by phone, Skype (international coaching is offered) and in office sessions located in South Florida, US. www.DrStacy.org Your Creating Intimacy Coach www.facebook.com/DrStacySexCoach Twitter- DrStacySexCoach LinkedIn- DrStacy “My passion is to help you create yours” - Dr. Stacy xo ************************************************* P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign Up for Frank Coaching  Podcast interview - What Makes You Un--date-able ? Published on Apr 25, 2017 What Makes someone undateable? and are YOU undateable! Frank makes his 11th appearance on the programThe Stuph File with Peter Anthony Holder. This is episode #0401 of The Stuph File  Sign Up For Frank Coaching Right Now! Ways to make your wedding unique are highlighted in this contributed post.  wedding shoes https://tinyurl.com/n5ggsat One of the things that makes a wedding day the perfect wedding is how unique it is, how personalized and heartfelt. This is your wedding day, it is the day your wife has been planning since she was six and a half years old and first learned what the word wedding meant. It is that day you will have everlasting memories of, no matter how much champagne. It is a day that will define you and your love, it is a day that will be forever spoken of and etched into the memories of your nearest and dearest. Luckily, there are hundred of little ways in which you can get creative and make your wedding that much more special and personal, and you can do so without breaking the bank too (whatever breaking the bank actually means?). Here’s how:  wedding inviations https://tinyurl.com/kxkoce5 The Save The Date Invite That Oozes You The first thing that is going to get excitement buzzing around the air like a swarm of honey bees is your engagement, the day when she said, “yes”. But the thing that ups the ante is your 'save the date' invite because this is when the anticipation gets to manifest into a countdown. What makes it extra important, though, is that your invite is what tells your guests what sort of wedding it is you are having. The look, the style, the vibe; it all comes from this invite, so put your stamp on it. Make it something that is true to you. Have an invite that, when it is opened, a knot gets tied tighter. Put old school 3D goggles inside to help the decode the message. Send them a balloon they have to blow up in order to find out the details. The choice is yours.  wedding ring https://tinyurl.com/kg3xrch The One Ring To Bind Them All There can be nothing more personal than exchanging rings that you designed, or rings that are bespoke to you. It doesn’t have to be a crazy design or anything like that. It could just be that you get your Tacori engagement rings engraved with something special, like the chat-up line you used to land your first date. The date of your first date. That romantic film line your soul mate absolutely adores. The name of your first song. There are so many endless ways to make your rings personalized without leaking money, and what makes this extra special is the fact that your rings stay with you forever.  wedding planner https://tinyurl.com/kuh593b Crazy, Quirky Transport
The thing that often gets overlooked is the transport. People often go for practical over personal and so they just speak to a minibus company about handling that side of the ceremony. Some people go a bit out there by hiring a London double decker bus or a limo or something, but that has all been done. What we are thinking is way more personal than that. We’re thinking about hiring a bunch of scooters or bicycles and everyone riding to the next destination together. Maybe you could convince a local store to lend you a bunch of hoverboards or Segways. Maybe there is a hire company that has four or five classic VW campervans that people can squeeze - and we mean - squeeze into. It is these teeny-tiny personal things that are going to last forever in people’s minds and will make you smile when you look back through your photo album.  The Realities of Mental Health Realities of Mental Health by Jenn and Sam, Mental Health Caseworkers Let’s talk about mental health. What really is mental health and who is it affecting? The reality is that it affects everyone. It is the thoughts, feelings, behaviors and emotions that we feel every day. Some days are better than others, and this is true regardless of whether you suffer from a diagnosed mental illness or not. Sometimes, however, the low days become low months or you can’t get the thoughts out of your head. In some instances, your behavior becomes wildly different from how you normally are. Thought patterns or behaviors begin to disrupt your daily activities and functioning. This is when mental health becomes problematic. Most of society believes that they will never be affected by mental health problems. However, approximately 20% of Canadians experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime. This means that 1 in 5 people living in Canada are facing mental health struggles. With the wide reach of social media and social networks alone, you are guaranteed to know someone who is having a difficult time maintaining their mental health. This statistic doesn’t even include those who have a mental illness and do not seek help or agree to participate in statistical surveys. Most mental health disorders emerge in late adolescence to early adulthood. Some will develop later on, at age 40-50 years. We are seeing a trend in recent years, however, of people being diagnosed earlier than average, and we’ve even seen major disorders being diagnosed in children. This sounds scary, but the most important thing to remember is that the earlier a person is diagnosed and treated, the better their outcome. Recognizing the symptoms and seeking treatment early on creates a better prognosis, and a better chance of recovery. Obvious, right? But the reality is that most people have no clue what the signs of a mental health problem are, or are unwilling to seek treatment because of the stigma surrounding mental illness. Our main goal in writing these articles is to desensitize people to the topic of mental illness, inform, and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health. We want people to be able to open a line of communication to those suffering from mental illness; to seek help, talk to someone, and get on the road to recovery. Your mental health, although a part of you, does not define you. Within that same discussion, we hope to provide support and guidance to family members, friends and loved ones of those facing mental health struggles. One of the greatest factors in recovery is having a solid support system, which is why we encourage family and friends to educate themselves with accurate information concerning mental illness, so that they may understand what their loved one is experiencing and support them in seeking the appropriate help. -Jenn and Sam  Donate To Support Mental Health Care Author Bios Let us introduce ourselves. We are mental health case workers, and although that sounds like a big scary title, it is actually just clinical terms for saying that we help people help themselves. Our job is to empower people with the knowledge and tools to help manage any mental health issues they may be facing. This can range from small bouts of depression and anxiety, to suicidal ideation and chronic illnesses such as Schizophrenia and Bipolar disorder. Whatever the concern, we are here to provide support, guidance and direction in riding the wave to recovery. On a daily basis you can find us meeting with clients and creating Action Plans to accomplish short and long terms goals. We help locate and direct clients and families to community services and organizations. We create and facilitate sport therapy groups, workshops, educational seminars and group activities, all with goal of normalizing mental health issues and empowering clients with the tools and skills to move forward not only in their recovery, but with their life goals. If you are lucky enough, you can even spend time with our onsite therapy pup named Norbert, who is always available and more than willing to give some love and cuddles. Norbert plays his own role as a worker, going out into the community to spread awareness and help with prevention. Our approach is far from traditional and we strive to work outside the clinical “box”. We focus on the individual’s strengths, using their passions and goals to facilitate stability and recovery. Jenn and Sam Mental Health Caseworkers  Support Mental Health Care Now The Importance of Keeping Your Word by Frank Kermit It can happen sometimes where you make a promise that you did not realize you would not be able to keep. We are human beings, and when that happens, it can be embarrassing.
The cost of this kind of immature action is: The Loss Of Your Credibility
Quality people do not have time in their lives for people that lack credibility.
If you want to be a Good Person then start by being Good at keeping your word. If you don't want someone to label you, be sure you aren't acting in a way that makes then need to in the first place.  Oh the Guilt! - Sex and the City by Pillow Talk Girl Oh The Guilt...Sex and the City Season 6 Written by: Pillow Talk Gal It’s one of the most challenging things any mother (single or not) has to learn to cope with: How to balance motherhood/family life and a career. For nine months we go through pregnancy, coping with our ever changing bodies, preparing for the day when baby will arrive. We setup the room; making sure we have every detail taken care of (baby clothes, toys, strollers, car seats, etc...). Before you know it the day has arrived and you are happier than you ever thought possible. You bring your new bundle of joy home and you learn what being a mom entails (little to no sleep, what seems like endless diaper changes and cleaning clothes, bottles and other baby related paraphernalia). Eventually you get the hang of the whole baby thing (schedule and otherwise) and you’ve hit your stride. You have it all together. You feel like you have this baby thing under control and you are the super hero of moms (at the very least a side kick). Then the day you’ve been dreading more than the labour pains, hits. You have to go back to your job. Suddenly, you have to trade in your mom card and go back to being ‘’professional’’ you. You hand in your diaper genie and get an upgrade to a briefcase. It feels weird, unnatural and somehow all wrong! In season 6 of Sex and the City (episode 6- Hop, Skip and a Jump) Miranda is facing just such a challenge. She has been back to work for a little while now and has acquired help from her trusted house keeper, Magda, to look after her infant son Brady. One morning, Miranda is running late for work when Magda arrives at the apartment to start her day. As all working mothers must do, Miranda relinquishes care of Brady to the help and sets off on her day to work. As she is leaving, Brady begins to howl at seeing his mama leave his sight. Although she knows she loves her job, Miranda is riddled with guilt at leaving her baby boy. None the less, she sets of on her long day of work. Later that day, Miranda is summoned to a meeting (for which she believes involves a case she has been working tirelessly on for her law firm). She arrives in a bit of a rush and immediately begins to give the partners of the firm her assessment of how her case is going. They quickly interrupt her, informing her that the meeting is with regards to her work performance and not her cases. They mention that they have noticed her missing time, being late for meetings and leaving early on certain occasions. Miranda, being the ultimate professional she is, makes no excuses for herself and states that those issues will no longer be a problem. She also takes the time to mention (you know, casually in passing) that as a lawyer, her performance has been unflawed but as a mother she felt like a failure. She gracefully leaves the room, and takes the time to remind the partners that when her mother passed, she happened to be at work the following Monday (only having missed 1 day). That evening, Miranda rushes home in the hopes of being able to spend some quality time with Brady. As she arrives home, she proclaims ‘’I’m here, I’m here!’’ to Magda, but to her disappointment Miranda discovers that Brady has been in bed for the past hour. She is so disappointed not only to find out that she missed spending time with her son, but also at herself. She feels like a failure as a parent! Why is it so difficult being a working mother? It’s such a struggle to be successful at both. The more time we spend being good at one, the more time we end up feeling like a failure at the other. Is there a happy medium? The business world places so much emphasis on being successful at our careers and there is so much pressure to perform. On the other hand, choosing to spend time and invest in our children is seen as slacking off. When a working mom needs to leave work because their child is sick, it is often met with scorn and disapproval (from colleagues and superiors a like). If there happens to be an occasion where a mother needs a day off to attend an event for their child, they are often either denied this opportunity, or are forced to lie about the reasons they need the day off (for example ‘’my car broke down’’, ‘’I was robbed’’, you get the idea). The business world invests millions of dollars everyday into a multitude of business ventures, so how is it they don’t put the same value on investing into children, who essentially are our future leaders. Why does society shun stay at home moms instead of praising them for raising well rounded kids? It would be nice to have an equal balance of both worlds (family and career) so that working women could avoid the feeling of failure all together and just feel fulfilled, all the while enjoying success both in and outside of the family unit. About Pillow Talk Gal Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons. "Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal To read Pillow Talk Gal's last post, click HERE *Disclaimer: Sex and the City was produced by HBO and all rights, titles and interests in any images or clips, used herein under Fair Use and Fair Copying, remain the property of the author. P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign Up For Frank Coaching Now Read one mans true unpaid testimonial of how 10 hours of coaching with Frank Kermit, combined with a few product purchases changed his life for the better.
To summarize my experience in working with Frank on his ten hours coaching program; Most pickup coaches give you a game-plan for the night; Frank is not a pickup coach, so he gives you a game plan for life. A big thanks to Frank for the work that we did - I found the program to be an absolutely fantastic investment of time, money and effort. It'll be with me for life. Looking back it also made me think of all of the work Frank must have put in over many years to acquire this much understanding and course material. It's incredible. I'll certainly be emailing Frank in the future to let him know how things are going, and whether or not I need to do any more coaching. I’ve studied pick up and relationship material for a few years and applied it, but very quickly I reached a plateau. Sure I learned how to pick up girls better than before but that brings in as many problems as it solves. How do you manage women? How do you break up with women? How do you keep them as friends with benefits? How do you turn them into your girlfriend? Frank has better answers than any coach I’ve seen. I was particularly interested to hear his perspectives on non-monogamous relationships and their management, as I’ve always believed there was another way for me than the traditional roles of being either ‘single’ and commitment free, or in a totally monogamous relationship. Even pick-up teachers with very solid material don’t seem to go into non-monogamous relationship advice – typically they advocate being single and having experiences forever – but this gets lonely. Frank’s material is on a much higher level altogether than anything else I’ve seen out there – And honestly I’ve read enormous amounts of other people’s material. That's not to say that there isn't other good stuff out there but Frank has a profound, detailed knowledge of dating and relationships. He goes into areas often neglected by others such as the best locations for dates and the best locations to actually meet single women who are looking to meet guys. These sound like obvious points, but they once you have the skills, these are the kind of questions that need addressing. More importantly though is Frank’s ‘Hierarchy of Relationships’ and ‘Emotional Needs Analysis of Men and Women. ’ They are immediately usable tools to manage, screen and maintain your relationships in a way that is healthy for both men and women. The coaching and product purchases were a reasonable investment for me, but those modules alone were worth the cost! I’ve quite literally never encountered anything that gives you the perspective of these two tools. The ‘Hierarchy of Relationships’ in particular gives you the framework to manage all relationships.
I worked hard and really committed to the assignments. I’m glad I did, as it really allowed me to make the most of the sessions and I got a huge amount out of them. Frank doesn’t mince his words in the sessions – he gives you direct and often challenging perspectives. I can’t count the number of times I came away from the sessions feeling like I just understood something about relationships, women, or myself in a new, deeper light. Frank’s not a flashy teacher with a luxury office space. He coaches by telephone or Skype. He doesn’t seem to have any outward features that would make this stuff come easily to him. In fact if anything, outwardly you’d probably never guess at the depth of wisdom and experience he has in dating, and all types of relationships, including non-monogamous ones. The program exercises were unorthodox to say the least but they make sense if you do them properly. Frank’s depth of knowledge is staggering, even to someone who has read a lot before discovering Frank’s material. Frank’s original theories are innovative and incredibly helpful –they are a true masterpiece of insight for relationships. I really hope this knowledge spreads to as much of the world as possible as people can only benefit from it. After 10 hours of coaching, I now have a ton of material to go over. Before I began coaching with Frank I was going around in circles despite putting effort in. Now the course is set! I have my compass, and map in hand, and all I have to do is to keep going forward on my journey. I have no hesitation in recommending Frank to anyone who is looking to get greater fulfillment in relationships. In fact, I would say that if you are not working with Frank or reading his material, you're missing out. Even guys who already know how to meet women could really learn a ton from him - in fact I think that for more advanced guys - Frank is the only coach out there who can actually help you to progress further in whatever direction you want to go in. -Joseph, United Kingdom  The Benefits of Coaching with Frank Kermit  Sign Up For Pre Marriage Coaching to Divorce Proof Your Relationship The Wedding Toast Speech By Frank Kermit Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the parties, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember this day, your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that you picked to marry on this day, and why you picked this person over all other choices available. Remember the reasons why you chose to get married and how it fits in with your plans, life goals and why you decided that the person that you wanted as your spouse was a reflection of everything you felt is important to you enough that you wanted to make him or her part of your family. Remember this day, your wedding day That the ritual of the wedding is more than just a celebration of your new union. It is to mark the change in your lives as individual "I"'s to a unified sign of a "we". As a "we", you call on all those people closest to you both to witness and be a part of your togetherness, in the hopes that not only will they be celebrating your endeavor; they will also be employed in the ongoing support of your new and future family. Remember this day, their Wedding Day To you: the wedding guests, please know and remember that your role in being present, is more than the gifts you offer, your toasting their happiness, and your boost to start the new couple in their new life together. Your role as participants in a wedding audience is that you have also accepted a role in the ongoing support of the new couple to help keep this new family together through the hardships and triumphs that life can and will force upon us. For better or for worse, isn't just a saying. It is a reminder. Life gets very real when you have someone else to care for and think about. If and when you are blessed with children, the realness of every decision you both make is even more intense; Remember this day, your wedding day, as you both pledge to do your best to suffer them together, and support each other, even when either of you happen be at your worst. Remember this day, your wedding day Because you BOTH Will Make Mistakes There will be times you both will make mistakes, when you both will etch an emotional scar, when you will have to deal with financial worries, mental health concerns, new limits on your physical abilities, accidents, the challenges of well meaning people who love you, who interfere more than help you, having to move and change with the times, and in the death and passing of people close to you. Remember This Day, Your Wedding Day, As you both pass into the next stage of your lifespan, up to and even past the point of being present for the possible weddings of your own children and grand children. Remember this day, your wedding day, Remember every reason you had to make the commitment to start this journey together, knowing that life together would NOT be easy but that you still wanted to go through with it. Remember this day, your wedding day because it was the event you chose to create. Remember the love that brought you together, the willingness to stand together, and the drive behind making your intent to build a future together a public decree. When either of you are overwhelmed by life, and it is likely to happen more often than not over the course of your lives together, remember this day, your wedding day to remind you why you chose to make it happen. Remember this day, your wedding day, to help you build and create a better future for the two of you, through each and every new day you decide to stay together and honor the promise as best you can everyday. So, Remember this day, your wedding day, when some days are better, when some days are worse, and take it one day at a time. -Frank Kermit  Sign Up for Frank Coaching NOW and Divorce Proof Your Marriage Learn how to pick a wedding theme in this contributed post. There are blue skies above, which means that wedding season is about to hit the ground running. If you’re planning a wedding in the coming months, you may be thinking about whether to have a themed celebration or not. Wedding themes appeal to some couples, but you don’t have to have a theme for your big day. If you do like the idea, here are some tips to help you choose the perfect theme for your wedding. Seasonal themes The seasons play an important role when it comes to choosing a theme, and many couples take inspiration from the weather, the surroundings, and the time of year. If you’re getting married in the holidays, for example, winter wonderland and Christmas themes are always a big hit. If it’s summer, and you’re having a beach wedding, something more tropical and exotic may appeal. If it’s fall, you may choose to use the colors of the leaves for your table decorations, or you may go for golds, rich reds or burgundy shades for your bridesmaid dresses, for example.  wedding planner https://tinyurl.com/lwpxdxk Heritage and culture Many people like to celebrate their heritage when it comes to planning a wedding. This could be reflected in the addition of dragons to the table centerpieces or choosing the color red for an invitation for a Chinese wedding or in the outfits you choose to wear for a Scottish celebration. If you’re marrying somebody from a different culture, using your heritage is a theme is a great way to bring everyone together and create a day that involves both sides of the family. On-trend themes If you’re getting married soon, you’re probably aware of what’s hot and what’s not in the world of wedding themes. Like fashion catwalks, trends change every year, and there is always a collection of ideas, which seems to reflect what everyone wants. A couple of years ago, vintage fayres and shabby chic were all the rage, and this year, al fresco gatherings are stealing the show. Informal ceremonies are becoming increasingly popular, and more and more people are shunning the traditional wedding breakfast in favor of more sociable and less formal options like barbecues, buffets, and grazing platters.  romantic wedding vows https://tinyurl.com/mstbbwa Passions
It’s common for couples to use their passions and interests as a source of inspiration when it comes to planning a wedding. Perhaps you’ve traveled the world together, and your table names are named after your favorite places. Maybe you love jazz, and you’ve gone for a retro Hollywood theme with live music. Or maybe you’re massive fans of Star Wars, Harry Potter or Game of Thrones and you’ve asked everyone to dress up for your big day. If you do have a shared passion, this is an excellent way of personalizing your ceremony and making it memorable. If you’re in the middle of planning a wedding and you’re considering potential themes, think about what interests you, and what kind of event you want to create. Celebrate what makes you special, be creative, and plan a day that’s unique and personal.  A Frank Guide To Speed Dating Frank Guide to Speed Dating By Frank Kermit Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking services, business conventions...if you want to meet new people, there is no bad way to do it. One of my personal favorite ways is Speed Dating. Speed Dating is when they take a group of people, try to evenly have the same number of men and women, and while the women sit in the same seat all night, every 5-7 minutes a new man sits down and they have a quick date.
I love Speed Dating, and even met one of the best girlfriends of my life through a speed-dating event. Here are some tips if you are eager to try it out for yourself.
One thing to be prepare for is that sometimes the entertainment can be very un-calibrated and make their entire shtick about how horrible relationships are, or joke about worst dating experiences. If you are going to organize a Speed Dating event yourself, make sure to get someone that can be entertaining, inspiring and someone who loves dating and relationships and who will encourage all the participants to have fun. If you are attending a speed dating event, keep in mind that the entertainment simply may not be up to par, and do not let it affect your mood that night. (One of the worst speed dating events I ever went too was my very first one. Hosting the evening was a single author of relationship books, and all she did was remind everyone about their own personal relationship horror stories by being negative about her past dating life the entire routine. All that did was put many of the participants in an uneasy spirit. That speed dating company no longer exists by the way.)
Go in with the mindset that everyone you meet is date-able, and that you will only mark someone as a -No thank you- if they do something that is a blatant sign you would not want to date them. I have often seen the same people attend multiple Speed Dating events, and decide on the third or fourth meeting to say Yes to dating and end up enjoying their time together. If they had been more open-minded they could have dated right after the first meeting at the first speed-dating event.
Plants are people that are not actually interested in meeting anyone new; the plants are just there to fill up a seat and even out the numbers. They could be already involved in a serious relationship (usually with someone organizing the Speed Dating event) or a friend of a friend that was called in on a favor, to help out the organizers to fill seats. Since these people having nothing invested in the evening (including not having paid to participate), they have less pressure and end up having more fun in the speed date conversations. This has led many actual participants interested in dating the plants, and mistakenly holding out from saying, Yes to other participants who were actually emotionally available. This is why you say Yes to as many people as possible, so that you do not get sidetracked by an attractive plant that never had any interest in being a potential partner for you.
but it does not tell you how this person is going to treat you in a relationships nor does it reveal if you would be able to get along long term. I often suggest questions that explore a person's soul such as: What would you do if you won one million dollars? The answer to a question like this will reveal what a person's priorities, values, and interests are, and you will be able to better judge whether or not this is a person you can potentially find love with.
This is no time for head games. Part of the reason it is important to reach out and connect with someone, is that some people immediate start to seriously date the first person they meet up with from a Speed Dating event regardless of how many matches they get, and when a second match contacts them, the second match gets turned away for no other reason than they were too slow to act. Always be the first. If you ever happen to attend a Speed Dating event that I am hosting, please do say hello. -Frank Kermit  If you liked the article, check out the book it was based on P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign Up For Frank Coaching Now  5 Tips To Make Your Home More Seductive - Pimp Your Pad Your Home is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaurant. This is home field advantage. And why not? After all, there is no cover charge, you do not have to share a public washroom with strangers, you can put your feet up, a meal is way cheaper, and you can even prepare the meal together as part of the fun! What could possibly go wrong? Well, depending on how you live at home...plenty could go wrong, and even though you might be able to keep your date intrigued enough, your place could be a turn off in ways you might not know.
However, there are pitfalls. If your home is not a warm and receptive environment that makes visitors feel invited to overstay their welcome, you could inadvertently be pushing away your hearts desire.
On occasion, I make coaching house calls for people that seek out to create an alluring seductive homestead to help them attract sexual partners and/or relationship candidates. Some people may require an objective eye to help them spot those idiosyncrasies that the proprietor may be oblivious too.
Here are some general guidelines
If you only bring out certain candles when a date arrives, or put a particular bottle in the fridge, or move your furniture around to create an ideal setting, it is best to always have those candles out, your bottles in the fridge and your furniture in the ideal settings at all times. The energy levels you will take on your date that you saved from a massive cleaning will be well reserved to help create an outstanding evening.
A bathroom that creeps out a person will have a very different effect than one with appropriate artwork (see above), scented candles already lit, a fresh shower curtain and a sparkling toilet. If you want to have a spectacular love life at your home, and you do not have the time or the inclination to clean the bathroom, hire a cleaner to come over for a couple of hours each week to scrub it down. It is worth the investment.
The key factor is that those toiletries stay at your place after your lover leaves in the morning, and it encourages your over night guests to want to come over again, especially when they know they already have their own toiletries there Making the effort of pimping your pad can be the difference between using your toilet to enhance your love life, or your love life being in the toilet. Frank Kermit  If you liked this article, check out the program it was based on P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign up for Frank Coaching Right Now!  Ready, Set, Panic! - Sex and the City - Pillow Talk Gal Sex and the City: Season 2- Ready, set.......PANIC!!! Written by: Pillow Talk Gal Has this ever happened to you...Your thoughts are racing, your heart is pounding and then that dreaded feeling that you’re going to pass out begins. You feel like everything around you is closing in and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. What’s happening? Well, chances are you’re having a panic attack. It’s scary (especially the first time) and it happens to so many people, yet it’s something not spoken of, due to its stigmatic nature. In season 2 of Sex and the City, episode 5 – Four women and a Funeral, Miranda has decided to make the jump and buy her own place. She is financially independent and feels ready to take the next step. Being a 35 year old, successful woman buying her own apartment alone (without the financial help of a man) seems to be a concept lost on many of the people around her (her realtor, the mortgage broker, associates at her law firm).
As she visits the vacant apartment to measure for drapes, she meets one of her soon to be neighbours who mentions that the previous owner was an unmarried, lonely old lady, who died and was found a week later, having had her face eaten off by her cat!
Finally in a last ditch effort to save her own life, she gives herself the Heimlich manoeuvre on the back of an unpacked moving box and to her relief, she is able to dislodge the trapped Kung Pao chicken. After she has caught her breath, Miranda immediately calls Carrie to inform her of her near death experience, luckily Carrie is able to talk her off the ledge (so to speak) and calm her down. When asked if she needs company, Miranda puts on a brave face and shrugs off the experience (with the exception of making sure her cat’s food bowl is completely full with food, you know, as a precaution of course).
Then out of nowhere, things start to feel very wrong. Her vision starts to blur, the buildings and everything around her begin to spin and she feels as though she is going to pass out. Luckily, a cab happens to be a few feet away (this is New York City after all), so she summons the strength to hail it over and immediately tells the driver to take her to the nearest hospital. $500 worth of tests later, doctors tell Miranda she has had a panic attack. Even though Miranda was trying to be strong, the stress from the possibility of living and dying alone became too much for her to handle.
In today’s society we are all finding our own way of dealing with the stress factor in our lives. There are so many issues now a days (divorce, politics, terrorism, bad economical times, etc...) that for many it has become almost impossible to not worry, a daily ritual if you will (in waking thoughts or as you put your head to pillow at night). As I write this I can’t help but wonder,
Mental health issues have definitely gotten more attention in the last few years, but it’s important that we all remember that the next time you see someone struggling, instead of brushing them off, be compassionate and think twice before judging. Everyone has ‘’something’’ and we can never really understand how they are handling it. About Pillow Talk Gal Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons. "Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal To read Pillow Talk Gal's last post, click HERE *Disclaimer: Sex and the City was produced by HBO and all rights, titles and interests in any images or clips, used herein under Fair Use and Fair Copying, remain the property of the author. P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Donate Here for Mental Health and Panic Support  The Stigma and Struggles of Humiliation Kink Humiliation Kink by AnnaBel Joseph Humiliation is one of those hot button kinks that no one seems to feel equivocal about. Most kinky romance readers either love it or hate it. I know I used humiliation pretty liberally in some of my books. (see the titles of Comfort Object, Mercy, and Club Mephisto) In writing this post, I wanted to get the input of someone who really loved the kink of humiliation in order to give everyone the most positive view of the loving, smexy side of this fetish. I asked my friend "Baby Firefly" for an interview since I think she's a real expert on the emotional side of this topic. I hope you enjoy her wonderful responses!
Erotic humiliation is where one derives sexual arousal, pleasure, or what have you, from being demeaned or degraded by another person. As I see it, this particular fetish is largely psychological in nature, and because of the potential for emotional harm, I would definitely classify it as edge play. This fetish widely varies from person to person. For instance, being called names like slut or whore can be humiliating and even damaging to one person, but another may take no issue with it. The key is for the dom to have good insight to the sub’s psyche. I think humiliation works best between players who know each other very well.
Annabel: Oh man, that's pretty hot. Have you ever had communication problems with your partner regarding humiliation? For instance, expressing what was okay and what was not okay, or how far to take things? Baby Firefly: We’ve been together for nine years now and know each other really well. For us, communication has been crucial in making it work. Before we moved forward with the edgier side of humiliation, we had a long discussion about where the boundaries were for me and for him. After a really intense and degrading scene, we talk about it. The sexual component is only half of it. Processing the emotions it brings up is part of the aftercare. Sometimes I need that, and other times I don’t. The bonus is that not only does it bring us closer, but talking about it always makes for hot conversation.
I do think there is a stigma attached to it, but then there is with most BDSM practices outside of those who live it. I used to be very closed lipped about it even among my friends in the community. It turns out that the hang-up was mine. Funny how that works. I’ve come to embrace it. The wonderful thing about kinky people is how open and accepting they are about sexuality. Now, it’s not something I’d go telling the girls in my book club. I don’t think I’d be invited back after that.
A Slut Goes to the Store Sounds like the first line of a joke right? So not a joke. This weekend I was treated to taste of mild public humiliation. My owner wrote SLUT on my calf in huge letters in black marker. Not so bad right? That's what I thought until he sent me to the corner store at 5:30 PM on a Friday. The mindgame of it all was that it was written in washable marker. I could have very easily wiped it off before I went in to make my purchase. But at what cost? I don't particularly like being caned, so as much as I hated it, as humiliated as I was, the word had to stay.
I ended up pretending that it wasn't there. Yes, I reverted back to my typical coping mechanism. I slipped it on like a skin, remembering how it felt all those years ago in high school. Cold. Frozen. Above. I still heard a few whispers. I felt the stares of the guys who stood behind me buying their twelve pack of Busch Lite on their way home from work. I heard them, but would I ever let that show? Not me. I smiled at myself on the drive home, proud that I'd endured this little humiliation. But the ice crumbled when I saw my owner. He knows how I work. He can see through the layers of ice. The humiliation came crashing down on me full force as he asked me to tell him every little detail.
Many many thanks to Baby Firefly for agreeing to shed light on this often misunderstood form of kinky play, and for sharing such a thoughtful, heartfelt journal entry. So, how do you all (the Franktalks.com/Blog readers) feel about humiliation in your BDSM romance? Like, dislike, depends on the situation? Have you ever read a scene in a book that was humiliating and yet hot? -Annabel Joseph http://annabeljoseph.com/ The Following are two interviews that Frank Kermit and Annabel Joseph participated in
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Athlete and Vixen: Making of a Pole Dancer - Part II Athlete and Vixen: Making of a Pole Dancer - Part II by Melanie Lynch I last posted about Pole dancing being a sport and that not all Pole dancers are strippers but I asked the question ‘what is so wrong with stripping anyway?’ When I started Pole dancing I found that I would get so frustrated with everyone implying I was a stripper. As years went by I started participating in more shows and met so many great women. They were all out there trying to be brave, showing up in small costumes and hoping they would put on a performance. Some of these fantastic women were almost naked and some were actually stripping. I marvelled at them and loved them for the courage on stage but quickly learned that although they were strong on stage backstage they were nervous balls of energy getting their courage up and trying to remember their routines. I discovered that there really was nothing different between them and me. So once again, let’s start at the beginning. When I started my Pole journey, I went to my first class and I was wearing full-length leggings and a tank top. To me this was revealing. As we progressed I needed to climb and so the leggings changed to shorts. I learned to hold the Pole between my legs (yes, I am aware of how that sounded) and the shorts got a lot smaller. Then the ultimate thing happened, I started to flip upside down and needed to position the Pole across my abdomen. So my tank tops needed to turn into a crop top or sports bra. Let me tell you, after you have had three children, your first instinct is not to show off the stomach area. As I stood there, I had to fight the urge to cover my stomach with my hands. But Pole is so much more than exercise. It’s a community. A loving, welcoming community that encourages women to not apologize for the way they look. These ladies push you to grow, express yourself and be bold! At the same time as I started attending Pole shows, I also started going to Burlesque shows. The first time I went to one, I was completely blown away. I had never seen anything like it. These women came out with the most amazing, decadent, creative costumes and performed with such sublime beauty that it took my breath away. They were stripping but the show was more than just removing their clothes, it was a celebration of beauty, whether it was the movement, the costumes or the woman themselves, it was simply beautiful. I had the privilege to watch one performer named Coco Framboise who came on stage wearing the massive fur boa which she slowly undressed behind. It was a cheeky tease because you would only see glimpses of her caramel skin behind the white softness of the fluffy boa. She was mesmerizing and the crowd absolutely loved her. There’s nothing like the crowds at these shows. The first thing you notice about these crowds is that they consist largely of women and these women scream, shout and catcall the performers in encouragement. They show their appreciation for what is happening on stage. I was drawn to try this too and so signed up for the Coco Framboise School of Burlesque. I wanted to learn how to exude that kind of confidence and beauty.
I once read one of those Facebook postcards that said something like “some women feel empowered by covering themselves while others by taking their clothes off, who are we to judge” and it spoke to me. There’s a lot of criticism about women taking their clothes off or objectifying themselves and I won’t go into all their arguments here. You can’t take two steps without running into their voices and you can go read about it yourselves. There’s something to me that just doesn’t fit about this mindset.
WE are strong and determined. We do not want to be told anything about ourselves anymore. We own our lives, our bodies and the way we choose express ourselves. You are not qualified to judge me or others who enjoy this activity. This is our choice. Why is it wrong to be us? We are not hurting you or ourselves. In fact we are having fun and life should be fun. Maybe no one will understand what we are trying to do and that’s ok but all I ask is that the judgment stop, and that you just sit back and enjoy the show since we have worked hard to pull it together! If you think I am crazy and wrong, well that’s ok too because I have a whole community of women that are there with me cheering me on and supporting me every step of the way and I really didn’t choose to do it for you anyway. To read Part 1 of this series, http://www.franktalks.com/blog/-athlete-and-vixen-the-making-of-a-pole-dancer
 The Power of the Yoga Community and the Drive-By Divorce The Power of the Yoga Community and the Drive-By Divorce By Carrie Joyner The main idea when I created my yoga and fitness studio was to build a community of like-minded people; people who loved yoga, people who wanted to get healthy and fit and strong…mind, body and soul. I had no idea how important this community would become to me until about 2 weeks after opening the doors and had just experienced a drive by divorce. If you have ever started or owned a business, you probably know how stressful it is. You bet it all on red, dedicate months or years (in my case it took about 2 years of planning, financing and finding the perfect location, location, location) to even get to the point where you could actually consider it being “in business”. Add on to that the end of a marriage that involved a 4 year old son, and it was a recipe for disaster. So what is a drive-by divorce? It’s getting a text from your husband asking you to come outside at lunch time. I told him to just come into the studio, I had a pole dancing class going on and wanted to make sure all went well. Then it’s getting another text saying “please, it’s really important…”, so I went outside. I was greeted by the black Mercedes SUV, opened the door, got in and found my now ex-husband staring at me with red eyes and tear stains on his custom fit Armani suit. He didn’t say much as he drove literally to the other end of the parking lot, where he parked the car and looked at me and said “You aren’t in love with me anymore, and I am not in love with you…we are getting a divorce.” Simple as that. The conversation was a bit of a blur. I remember it not being a conversation, more of a speech. I asked him what his next move was, and he said it was to go home and get his stuff. He was moving into a near-by hotel, it’s just over. My only concern at this point was not me, but our son. I said “What about Shane? What do we tell Shane?” “Nothing”, he said, “tell him I am on a business trip until I figure it out.” I got in my jeep and drove far, far away- not wanting my clients or staff to see me crying. I headed to my best friends house on auto-pilot. She wasn’t there, so I headed back to the studio and did a few more hours of work like a robot. I couldn’t think, move, feel….breathe. It was a sucker punch to the heart. I thought things were getting better, he said they were. Apparently not. The next few days were a blur. I was in shock but trying to act like things were normal for my son, who was totally out of the loop. Every morning I woke up, took my son to daycare, went to the studio and tried to get through the day. Working on and at the studio proved to be the perfect distraction. I was an open door kind of girl, and anyone- staff, client, teacher, etc. knew that they could always pop in and say hi or talk to me. This revolving door of mostly females became my tribe. Literally. I would tell them what was going on if they had the intuition or inclination to ask, and I would repeat the story a million times over. Not only did I find women who had been through the same or a similar situation and even some men, but I found a sounding board and it became like therapy to me. Between emotionally fuelled lawyer visits to trying to be zen and teaching my yoga classes, my studio became more than a studio. It became my happy place. When we were under construction, I wanted a big executive office in the back room with cameras and an intercom-but I ended up putting my tiny desk in a tiny closet right off the lounge and reception area, so I actually sacrificed luxury for the benefit of hearing every conversation, every client at the desk and being 10 feet away from my staff at any given time. Which leads me to Merissa. I heard a woman freaking out at the desk about a canceled Pilates class. We used Mind Body software, which allowed us to see who had registered for what class, so if there was a cancellation for whatever reason, we could contact them to notify them of the cancellation. She did not register, but showed up at the “regular” time and was livid that the class had been cancelled. I think the teacher was sick and we couldn’t find a sub. Whatever the case was, I decided to go out and talk to her. I asked her if she wanted some tea. We sat in the lounge and sipped on tea as she vented about how far she’d come expecting to do her class and go home and make dinner. I apologized, things happen sometimes that are out of control. I guess she saw that I wasn’t my normal bubbly self and asked if I was alright. I said no, not really. I was a little overwhelmed with what had happened. I explained what I was going through and in the blink of an eye she went from an angry client to a person with the best words of advice I have yet to hear. She told me about one of her best friends who had been married to a pilot, and he did the same thing. In this case, there was another woman involved. What she told me next wouldn’t change my life, but it did change my outlook on everything. She said “the best thing you can do right now is take care of yourself and your son. Get yourself into the best physical shape you have ever been in, focus on being happy and spoiling yourself. Don’t do this to make him feel bad, do it to make you feel amazing and not sit there thinking about the why’s and the poor me’s.” This did not make everything better. It did not change the situation or my grieving process. But after Merissa, I talked to literally hundreds of women, of every age, who had similar stories. I stopped feeling like I was the only person this had ever happened to. I started to let go of the blame and anger and I started to feel really, really connected to every person who walked through my doors. We all have a story. We do. Once we learn to embrace the fact that everyone is going through, has gone through, or will go through a life altering struggle- we become one. That community that I started building became my pillar of strength in a trying time. They say everything happens for a reason. I believe it. -Carrie Joyner P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Can You Convert Your Spouse To BDSM? How To Convince My Spouse To Become BDSM By Master Pierre One question that is asked more and more is: "How do I convince my spouse to get into BDSM ?" The first few times we received that question, it was from submissive men wanting to convince their wives to become their Domme. But lately, we had that question from women wanting their husbands to become BDSM player as Dom or submissive. The answer we give all of them is the same. The need for BDSM is personal and cannot be "taught". People within the BDSM lifestyle usually had to evolve toward what they are in BDSM and to learn about their own needs. Trying to "make" someone who has no BDSM interest whatsoever into a Dom, Top, Bottom, submissive (what have you) is nearly impossible.
Often, during BDSM events, we meet people, men and women, that have a vanilla spouse that cannot satisfy their BDSM needs, but are their life partner with whom they are very much in love. These people go "outside" their relationship to find a partner for their "other" needs and they do this with the acceptance of their spouse. How do they do it? They negotiate the limits of what they can do with their spouse.
BDSM is based on a consensual relationship. To force someone to become involved in BDSM is NOT consensual and will create huge tensions within the couple. It is widely known that during a public party, if you approach somebody new to play with, if that person says no, no means no and you must not insist. The same goes for your spouse, if they say no, no means no.
AUTHOR BIO: The BDSM Circle is led by Pierre and Catharine. They live as a couple with values that include Domination and Submission as way of life for them. Pierre is a Dominant while Catharine also a Dominant is aka "Katy" who is Pierre`s Submissive; and together they oversea a small group of Submissives. They also have a bilingual website called BDSMCircle.com. Catharine and Pierre are featured as part of the 2004 season of the award winning television series KINK. Today they are featured on CJAD 800 AM radio on the Dr Laurie Betito show monthly feature 50 shades of passion. Learn more about them at their website http://www.bdsmcircle.net/ Below is a youtube video of an interview Frank Kermit did many years ago with The BDSM Circle P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Day of the Entrepreneur by Frank Kermit Day Of The Entrepreneur by Frank Kermit There are no personal days There are no sick days There are no recovery days There are no bereavement days There are no fun days There are no “me” days There are no vacation days There are no off days There are no days off There are no special days There are no holidays There are no family days There are no birthdays There are no wedding days There are no funeral days There are no Mondays There are no Fridays There are no weekdays There are no weak days There are no long weekends There are no weekends There are no mornings There are no afternoons There are no evenings There are no late nights There are no overnights There are no happy days There are no yesterdays There are no good ole days There is no tomorrow There is only TODAY Just a day when you either Get to work so you can get-to-work Or a day you do not get to work Until ONE DAY Everyday becomes A Personal Day And that is THE DAY Of The Entrepreneur by Frank Kermit The importance of continuing to show your love is highlighted in this contributed post. Most of life is very simple. We’re born, we love, we laugh, we cry, we die. When you make it easy, life is simply those steps and along every step, love is the central theme. We are born into love. We are taught to grow in love before we fall in love ourselves, and it’s the most beautiful emotion. Life may be simple, but love is not. Love is the most complicated emotion in the human spectrum of emotions. We all crave it, we all seek it and for the most part, we cherish it once we have it. It comes from different places: children, partners and parents, and it means different things to everyone.  kiss romantic couple https://tinyurl.com/kwta5c3 Falling in love for the first time is one of the most meaningful experience you’ll ever have. The relationships that we have shape who we are as people and even when you think a short relationship doesn’t matter, there’s always an impact. You have to make love count where you can and live it in the moment rather than dismiss it from life, or you can end up becoming cynical about it. When you think back to the start of your relationship, you probably remember the fun. The sparks that flew, the dates you went on and the fizz in your stomach when they smiled at you are all memorable dating moments.  kiss romantic couple https://tinyurl.com/k6thmmr Relationships do go stale and boring as time goes on; it’s an inevitability. But it comes from lack of effort. They only become boring if both parties aren’t putting their absolute all into it. You can’t be gifted with a great love and allow it to rot – you need to nurture it and let it thrive between you. The effort has to come from both of you and if you make it spontaneous and exciting every day, you’ll have a love that counts. Making love last through the years depends on the way you treat it. See the best in the person you’re with – they’re not going to be perfect but looking at the good qualities that they have over the bad is going to end things far earlier than you may imagine. The one thing that’s different when time passes, is the effort that gets put in. There are plenty of ways that you can make an effort for your relationship and the tips available on www.mydatingsolutions.com are fantastic and can really help you with those early dating nerves. When you make love count in your relationship, you can keep that romance and passion alive. You don’t need to do huge gestures in your relationship, even the smallest gestures can be appreciated and cherished. Always be thoughtful with any gestures you make and be grateful for those that you also receive.  romantic mood https://tinyurl.com/mojvjk8 You don’t have to be at the beginning of a relationship to have passion and romance. You can carry this throughout a whole relationship from beginning to whenever it ends – early or til death do you part! Did you know that one of the most important ways to show your love and affection is simply to listen? Listening is the cornerstone of any great, successful relationship and it’s not just the goals and the fun you should be paying attention to. Listen to the rants and the upset and the stresses they are experiencing. There’s nothing more romantic than someone who sits up and takes notice of you and your life. Get to know each other every day and keep things fresh. When the relationship is going a bit stale or boring – as they often do – don’t wait for it to fizzle out. Stand up and make your love count for you both.  heart in hand https://tinyurl.com/ljbv7ca There are so many ways you can make love last in your life and having compassion is key. When you embark on a brand-new relationship, wooing is key. It’s not flowers, chocolates and dinners you need to use to woo them, but your humour and happiness and ability to show compassion. Understand their needs, be sympathetic to their desires and look for any way you can show them an act of kindness. If you’ve been married for several years, you can still show the person you love compassion and romance, and it’s even more important in a marriage. Making love last isn’t about the material things, it’s about how you can be your whole self with someone and how you can take notice of the little things. Sliding doors moments of relationships like these are the ones that count the most, such as companionably brushing teeth together before bed or making an effort to clear up a mess instead of pointing it out. Those moments are overlooked too often and they are the ones that people should be cherishing.  kiss romantic couple https://tinyurl.com/lnezjqm Affection, passion and romance are all things that people crave with their love. Pay attention to their needs, make sure you kiss every day and make sure you spend time just laughing together. Laughter is the best thing for any relationship, new or old, to bloom. Older relationships grow into a mature love that doesn’t always need the fizz and bang of early relationship wonders, but there’s nothing wrong with having a little fizz! Mature love is usually diluted by children, jobs and distractions that secure your relationship but pull you apart romantically and make you forget those early days of passion. Rediscover them. Date each other all over again and do all the things you started out doing when you first fell in love.
You can make love count in thousands of ways, too many to list, and those ways all go hand in hand with effort for each other. If you want something to work, make it happen. If you want to fall in love again after a break up, make it happen. Put yourself out there and try hard for yourself. Love doesn’t just fall into our laps, it takes work and it’s wonderful and frustrating all at once. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s all you’ll crave. Make it count!  Towards Polyamory? A Personal and Unfinished Journey Towards Polyamory? A Personal And Unfinished Journey By Ken Polyamory is a new term and concept for me. It has arisen in my consciousness as the result of an ongoing search for meaning in my life, and as a term that represents a new way of looking at relationships, commitment, fidelity, sexual freedom and personal values. For me it encompasses feelings of fear and insecurity, but also feelings of belonging, connectedness and liberation from old patterns and stifling conventionalities. I am thinking about polyamory, among a number of relationship options, as a viable and possibly joyful form of intimate engagement with others. First, a bit of background. I am a 64 year old gay man. I came out in my late 40s – a late bloomer by any definition. I had a good (sometimes very good) 27 year marriage with a loving woman, and together we raised two daughters. However (and I suppose this is “a tale as old as time”, as the song goes) there were increasingly protracted periods of depression and frustration as it became clearer to me that this identity was untenable, and I left my marriage. I set out on a new path. In the meantime, I retired and moved from Saskatchewan to my place of birth, Nova Scotia. Of course, leaving my identity in Saskatchewan as a heterosexual family man, as a worker and more recently as a member of a GLBTQ community, had its challenges and adaptations, but today I am in an almost 4 year relationship with a loving man. However, there are still stirrings of discontent and frustration. I am still on a journey of discovery, unpeeling layers of personal history - genetics, upbringing, the aging process - and within that context attempting to carve out a life that represents who I am. Who, in fact, am I, and what do I want? My partner and I introduced the idea of non-monogamy into our conversation about two years ago. In those two years we have experimented, including others in our sexual lives, both separately and as a couple. My partner wanted the experience of variety, and I wanted to find a less rigid and conventional means of expressing my sexuality. We have stopped and started this process a couple of times, due primarily to my discomfort. We have very different views about sex. For my partner, sex is sex, a recreational activity whose goal is mutual pleasure. Nothing more. It does not involve emotion or any level of commitment (other than the potential for FWB: Friends-with-benefits). For me, sex is about connection and belonging, intimacy and meaning. Sex is about love and friendship and commitment. So we come to polyamory, the concept of experiencing more than one intimate partner, of sharing lives in a deep and meaningful way with multiple participants, and of enlarging and engaging with one’s notion of relationship. For me this is a fraught process. The very idea of engaging intimately with someone other than one’s partner, and other than in fantasy, has been utterly foreign to me. The process of expanding my sexual contacts has pushed so many buttons – insecurity, confidence, value judgements, fear, anxiety, aging and sexual performance, abandonment, aloneness, jealousy, social censure. On the other hand, I firmly believe that we should never expect one person to satisfy all our needs – a huge responsibility to place on another’s shoulders, and an abrogation of our own responsibility for our own lives. This part of my personal journey, undertaken at a time when many people are questioning the meaning of their lives as they settle into old age, remains unfinished. In my worst moments, I feel a sense of extreme anxiety, and sadness and loss at the discarding of values and beliefs by which I was raised and to which I subscribed throughout my life. In my best moments I look forward with optimism and excitement to the expansion of possibilities in relationship and connection. Author Bio: Ken was born and raised in Nova Scotia, and after working in Western Canada for almost 30 years, retired and returned home to the Halifax area. He is a painter, gardener, reader and cat herder. Below are two youtube videos of interviews Frank Kermit was involved with regarding Polyamory
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you. |
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