Read 8 Ways To Boost Your Chances At Finding Love
While there's no time limit on finding love, staying single for a long time can quickly dampen your spirits. Besides, the sooner you find the person of your dreams, the more time you'll have together. So, if you want to find love, there's nothing wrong with wanting to find it fast.
It's impossible to force or rush love, but you can certainly give your chances a boost. Here are eight great ways to make it happen without placing unnecessary pressure on yourself.
#1. Learn To Love Yourself
Corny? Definitely. Still, you cannot possibly expect someone to love you if you don't even love yourself. Before seeking validation from someone else, you must first master the art of unlocking the best version of you.
Dating is a significant part of your life, but it needn't be the only defining feature. Chasing other goals, such as getting fitter or gaining a promotion at work, can be very rewarding. Aside from directly enhancing your life, it'll make you happier and self-confident. In turn, this makes you more attractive.
Quite frankly, without this strong foundation, the path to finding love will be a whole lot bumpier.
#2. Know Where To Look
There's no set guidelines on where you can or can't find love. A growing number of people are finding love online, but there are still plenty of places to meet people in the real world. Still, you must learn to look in the right locations.
Society has changed, and people are more likely to listen to a podcast rather than talk to people on their commute. Meanwhile, bars can be a little daunting. Sharpen your aim by using your career and hobbies as ways to meet like minded people. When you do, the hopes of meeting someone are greatly increased.
Alternatively, if using speed dating, choose a themed event you can get behind.
#3. Make First Impressions Count
As humans, we actively make judgements within seconds of meeting people. Whether it's online or offline, you may only have a few seconds to grab a person's attention. So, while love isn't all about appearances, yours must count.
With this in mind, learning to take attractive photos for your dating profiles can make a big difference. Meanwhile, your posture and general body language deserve attention ahead of blind dates or approaching people at a bar. If you lose their interest right away, it's very hard to win it back.
Conversely, a great first impression will give you the confidence needed to make things run smoothly.
#4. Focus On Psychology
Physical attraction is, of course, an important part of the dating game. This is especially true in the early phases. Still, the mental and emotional elements can have a telling influence on any subsequent progress. Do not underestimate this factor.
You should research 'what is the scrambler mind game?' to gain a deeper understanding of the psychological edge. When you make yourself more desirable, your hopes of finding the right person are far greater. After all, there will be a bigger pool and a better chance of building relationships.
Besides, love is a meeting of the minds as much as it is a meeting of the bodies.
#5. Play The Numbers Game
As well as psychology, you can additionally place an emphasis on the idea of probability. While the fear of rejection is probably the worst thing about dating, it shouldn't stop you from seeking what you want. You score 0% of the shots you don't take.
The fact is that if you strike up a conversation with 100 people, you are far more likely to get a date than if you only ask one person. Once you start dating, exclusivity may become a key feature. Until that time comes, though, there should be no guilt about speaking to multiple people.
You don't want to waste six months chasing one person for it to go all wrong.
#6. Ask For Help
Only you can decide whether someone you date is the right person. Nonetheless, you do not need to face the process of finding that person alone. Your friends and relatives are an important support network that can aid the cause.
Most people won't want to tread on your toes. However, if you ask them 'do you know anyone suitable?' in the right way, they will help. They know your personality and looks as well as those of their friends and colleagues. If they are up for playing matchmaker, it could be an ideal way to find the one.
They'll probably speak to the other person first. So, you'll know that there is at least some interest.
#7. Make Dates More Memorable
Getting a date is one thing. However, if you want a second date to happen, it's vital that you give them a reason to want it. Aside from dazzling them with your wit and charm, why not focus on an event they'll love.
If you have a joint hobby or passion, use it. This could mean buying tickets to a gig or seeing a place you know they love. Otherwise, you can embrace the following fun date ideas that encourage you to have an enjoyable time, even without the ingredient of love. It also allows feelings to grow organically.
When a person associates spending time together with increased enjoyment, success is assured.
#8. Stop Worrying
It sounds crazy, but it's often the case that ending the active pursuit of love is the best solution. When you spend too much time thinking about it, the stress and pressure can stop you from being yourself. It also blocks what's right under your nose.
If you do meet the right person, that could signal the end of your bachelor life. So, use this time to enjoy the benefits of being single. Travel the world. Follow your passions. Do what makes you happy. You don't want to look back on this period and regret missing out on opportunities.
Aside from improving this stage of life, it supports any subsequent relationships you may enter.
Dating doesn't have to be boring! Read more about how you can make your dates more interesting and memorable too!
It’s very easy for us to get too formulaic about this whole ‘dating’ process. First you meet someone in person or online, then you speak a little, then you go on a date, perhaps for a meal or bowling or something else active, and then you do that a few times. You’ll decide if you like the person or not, and from there, things may become a little more serious, if only just.
If this works for you, then you deserve to enjoy that process. There’s no reason why this can’t be a successful approach. And yet for some people, going through the motions simply isn’t enough. These are the people who actually wish for a good time on a date rather than ‘ticking all the boxes.’ We would recommend you try to see what it’s like to follow this path, a little off the beaten track. To do this, you have to provide your date an experience slightly out of the norm, and also provide that for yourself. This way, you may find your dating experience is much more memorable than it would have been otherwise.
Let’s see what this may look like:
Head On A Double Date
A double date experience with a friend can be a great idea, and it can bring with it a range of hilarious new memories. It can also take the bite out of a first date, be that the tense exchange you might have with someone new, or the artifice you may feel. When you can laugh as a small group and select the best double date ideas together, you have more of a chance of making a success from the evening. Approaches like this signify novelty, and more than anything, the willingness to have fun.
Show Them Something You Care About
Showing your date something that matters to you can be important. For instance, if you work in a museum, it might be that showing them around the private collections in a curated showing could be something you organize with your boss in your downtime, provided you work overtime to justify it. Don’t be afraid of bringing them into your world, be that culturally, through your passions or even profession. Sometimes shared passion can mean so much more than polite small talk.
Jump Into Their World
If you hope to bring them into your world, don’t be afraid to ask them to show you theirs. For instance, it might be that they’re a dancer, and would love nothing more than to see a show taking place in the city that weekend. If you can curate a date idea based around a passion of theirs, or to surprise them based on the information they have given you, they may just see how well you have thought this out. It’s always nice to learn and experience something new, even if it’s not your usual cup of tea.
With these date ideas, you’re sure to provide and gain a truly magical and novel dating experience.
Read the top 5 dating myths to be ready for your next date!
You may not realize it, but there are many dating “facts” that are nothing more than fallacy. They might seem like they make sense, but in reality, they are untrue. If you’re new (or returning) to dating, you should make sure that you go into it knowing what’s the truth and what things are a load of baloney!
So, with all that in mind, take a look at these top 5 dating myths debunked for you here today:
Myth 1: Online dating is for losers
Far from it! With today’s hectic work schedules and social calendars, it can often be challenging to find the time to do “offline” dating. The thing about Internet dating is that it offers a convenient way for like-minded people to connect, learn more about each other, and eventually meet up. More people turn to online dating each year, making its popularity increase all the time. So, no, online dating is not for losers. It’s for people that want a convenient and safe way to find love!
Myth 2: Online dating’s the only alternative to offline dating
You may not realize it, but there are a few different ways you can connect and meet up with people. And certainly in a non-offline setting! Yes, online dating is perhaps the most common way to find people that you wouldn’t otherwise have met. But, there are other alternatives too.
For example, looking at thechatlinenumbers.com you’ll see that it’s possible to connect with others via telephone. And let’s not forget penpals, video, and mail-based dating services!
Myth 3: Not “clicking” on a first date is bad news
In many cases, if two people don’t click on their first meeting, it doesn’t always mean there is no “spark” there to develop things further. Often, it can mean that one of the pair is perhaps an introvert and anxious about making their feelings or intentions known for fear of rejection. In those cases, a few more dates between the pair might be needed before the less confident of the two plucks the courage to develop the relationship. Take a look at this interesting article from berkeley.edu on the subject.
Myth 4: First impressions always count
When you meet someone for the first time and hope to impress them, such as for a job interview, you’ll likely want to do some preparation first. You’ll also wish to dress for success. But, some people are quite confident by nature and don’t feel the need to “push the boat out” as the saying goes. To quote another saying, don’t judge a book by its cover. In other words, don’t assume what gets presented in front of you is the best that person can or will offer.
Myth 5: You shouldn’t listen to what other people think
When it comes to dating someone, it’s always a good idea to gauge the opinion of your close friends and family members. Sure, there will always be one person in your inner circle that thinks your date is a bad idea. But, if most of those people are saying the same thing, you need to reconsider your options!
Are you tired of being on the singles train? Read 5 great tips to help you find the partner you desire.
Are you forever standing alone on the (figurative) platform while all around you, other people are holding hands, embracing one another, and gazing at each other with nothing but love?
Do you feel as if you are on the track to a life alone instead of a life with another?
We have some advice in this article if so, as you don't have to resign yourself to a one-way journey to singledom forever.
Consider the following suggestions, and let them lead you to more dates, the possibility of romance, and ultimately, the final destination that is marriage (if that is what you are looking for).
#1: Give online dating a go
Chances are, you have probably tried online dating already. Especially if you are living a busy lifestyle, or if you are uncomfortable mingling with others in bars and clubs, online dating is a relatively easy way to see who is out there. From websites such as Match.com and Elite Singles to dating apps such as Tinder and OkCupid, there are all kinds of online avenues to explore. So, if you haven't already done so, give it a go and use these profile tips to give you greater opportunities for success when registering with a site or app online. And if you are already online, but haven't had a lot of success thus far, you might also use the linked tips to improve your online profile.
#2: Be courageous and talk to people
Sometimes, you need to instigate a connection with another person. This can be done online, but remember too that you are surrounded by people on a daily basis. It could be somebody sitting opposite you on your train journey to work. It could be a colleague sitting in the next cubicle to you at the office. And it might be somebody browsing the books you like when you're next at your local bookstore. Rather than staying silent, and wishing you had the courage to open your mouth to the people you find attractive, actually say something. Just say hello, or ask them how their day is going. Should they reply, a conversation might start to flow, and while it might lead nowhere, it might also open up opportunities for further things.
So, think about the people you might already know or see regularly and plan to speak to them the next time you're around them. Perhaps role-play conversations with a trusted friend if you lack confidence in what to say, and consider using mobile chat lines to hone your communication skills with others. Of course, with this latter idea, you might use also chat lines to find romance too, so check out the previous link for some useful tips.
#3: Attend local Meetup groups
Not only are local Meetup groups a great way to meet new people, but they also afford you the opportunity to meet the people who are into the same hobbies as you are. And by having common interests, you shouldn't have too much difficulty instigating and having conversations with others, as you should both have much to talk about. Visit Meetup.com for local hobby groups in your area, or use the platform to start a group of your own.
#4: Let other people play matchmaker
Think about the people who know you the best, and ask them to recommend or introduce you to other people they know who might be a good fit for you. And to make life easier for you, perhaps ask your friends or family members to invite you both to a social gathering where you will be able to meet and talk to each other in a natural and easy-going setting. You might then hit it off with that other person and arrange a time to spend more time together away from the company of others.
#5: Find other ways to meet people with shared interests
If you have a particular passion for a local cause, you might want to volunteer at a charity group near you. If you are a fan of a particular movie, TV show, or music group, you might want to visit the appropriate fan conventions. And if you have always wanted to go back to school to learn something new, you might want to register for courses at a college near you. These are just some of the ways to be with people who have similar interests to you, and these are just some of the places where you might then find the courage to talk to the people you find interesting and attractive.
So, what do you think? Are these ideas useful to you? By following our suggestions, you might finally have the opportunity to hop off the singles train and into the arms of somebody new. And hey, even if you don't, you might still make new friends, and they could lead you into the path of the person who could be 'the one' for you.
5 places to meet senior singles are explored in this contributed post.
Our society binds us with some tricky and notorious repercussions. All we hear about how to behave in a certain way and not to be off track of conventional and archaic social methods. But from the early part of human society, many love stories have grown or we can safely say that they have destroyed our so-called native ways. No matter what, love is eternally young. You fall for it once in your life no matter how much you have prepared yourself for it or against it.
While in later stages of life, it may seem a bit difficult to fall in love rather find a potent partner for yourself. When you become older, you might want to feel settled in your life instead of getting adventurous. Divorcee or not, in later stages everyone wants someone in their life who would care for them, make them feel warm, be there for literally no reason. But finding someone or 'the special one' is not an easy task whatever your age may be but it can be done with some measured effort. Some of the following may woo you to some extent and can allure you to try at least once in a while.
Apparently, most people tend to be more absolved from work in later stages of life than in early parts. Maybe that's why it is not that bad a reason to be involved in many separate community events in your senior years. There is no shortage of need for willing volunteers in today's chaotic social world. You can contribute in many ways. Any educational institutions would love to get you for your many experienced years. You can certainly take part in numerous NGO activities to make many human lives bit easier. Or rather you can be a yoga trainer or a salsa trainee. Simply you can just go out there and have fun and in the process, you might find yourself lucky enough.
Undoubtedly, a divine method to spend some sheer quality time and if you're taking the trip with your senior club then it would just the icing on the cake. Moreover, if the trip consists only single members then certainly you can fish for your prolonged romantic partner.
Online dating service
A must to have at a dig. DoULikeSenior is a vast pool of potent candidates waiting to be matched. You can definitely look through a profile of your choice and prepare yourself beforehand for the upcoming compatibility issues which you may have been wrongly done in the past and can be intimate and romantically involved with your preferred partner.
A lovely idea to utilize your extra time to help and heal others. There are a number of communities where you can enlist yourself willingly and they can put in touch with similar aged members who care for like you do. So, this is maybe just the foundation you and your would-be partner will cognate greatly for a fact.
Senior fitness class
Fitness training is a lot more fun when you are accompanied. Also, at this age, you should try to stay as much fit you can afford. Let us hope, there is another person who hopes just the same and bingo! you're in luck. After that, if you find one of your likings, you may be just sweat out together and it can lead to many fortunate possible futures.
Afterwards, be sure to make your partner feel special in a way which they never have experienced. Be romantic, be lively, be in love, because life is short. Above all, be true to yourself and your partner.
Read some tips to navigate the dating world, when you are ready to start dating after a divorce.
Are you struggling with your divorce? This can always be a difficult time in your life. It’s the end of a relationship that could have lasted years or even decades. There’s the possibility that you or your partner was unfaithful and failed to live up to the marriage vows that you swore to uphold. The truth is that it can be tremendously painful to start dating again after you have been through a divorce. So, how should you handle this decision?
Can You Fix It?
You can start by asking yourself this question. It’s worth exploring the possibility at the very least, particularly if you don’t think that you have tried every avenue. You’re going to be more inclined to do this if you have been with your partner for longer. The instinct will always be to try and save the relationship no matter what.
However, you might find that your partner does not feel the same way. If that’s the case, you have no choice but to respect their wishes. You can fight for the relationship a little but if you have already reached the D word there is one thing to keep in mind. It’s honestly probably for the best. People don’t race to the divorce line unless something has gone seriously wrong or the love simply isn’t there anymore.
Should You Tell The Person You’re Dating?
When you start dating again, you do need to think about whether you should tell the new person you’re seeing that you are either going through or you have just been through a divorce. That’s a tricky one because mentioning this might send the message that you are looking for a rebound. If that’s not what you’re after, you can spoil a lot of potential relationships this way. But if you don’t tell them, you can run into the issue of not remaining honest and starting off on the wrong foot.
In most cases, it is perhaps best, to be honest, but you don’t have to get them involved in the divorce process. Keep this separate until you are sure that the relationship is heading in a serious direction. It’s important not to fret too much about this. Mediate Buncombe have lots of happy stories about single partners that found love again after a rocky end.
Should You Try Online Dating?
If you are getting back on the field, you may want to consider exploring the online dating world. This isn’t for the faint of heart but there are certainly some nuggets of gold buried under the trash heap. You just need to make sure that you are not taking what people say completely at face value. Remember, the internet does allow fantastic possibilities for dating and it also provides a tool you can use to check people out. Find out whether they really are the manager of their own company or if they still live in their parent's basement. Not a fan of the digital dating realm? Not a problem, speed dating could be the perfect alternative and yes, it does still exist.
We hope this helps you navigate the dating world when you’re ready to move on from your divorce.
Are you lacking confidence in relationships?
Read 5 tips that can help you be more confident in this contributed post.
Being self-confident in a relationship is not always easy, especially if you have been hurt in one before. Being self-confident can improve a relationship though as well as being better for your overall well being. Life throws enough stresses at us without you worry about the state of your relationship.
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
No one will make you feel more worthless than you. You should value your own worth, as this will make you feel and look better. If it helps, have a new hairstyle or change the color of your hair. Anything that helps you feel more confident is good. It is very easy to be your own worst enemy and that has to stop right now!
Be An Individual
You should not let yourself become an extension of your partner. You are an individual with your own dreams and aspirations. People who have lived on their own for a while are often better at this because they are used to considering just themselves. Although no one would ever suggest you should be selfish, you do sometimes have to put yourself first.
It can be great if you have a shared interest, but it is also good to have an interest of your own. Apart from keeping you mixing with other people, it is something else for the pair of you to discuss.
You should also make sure you stay in touch with friends that you knew before you met your partner. It may well be that they socialize with both of you, but you should still have an occasional evening for just you and your friends.
Tell your partner a secret about yourself that no one else knows. Sharing secrets or things you are ashamed of from your past can help to establish a feeling of intimacy between you. Self-disclosure can help to build your confidence in each other. For instance, if in the past a sex therapist has helped you over a problem, or you once dated someone who turned out to be a drug taker and you almost got involved in them too, your partner will be pleased that your problems were solved and that you have the confidence in them to be honest about your past.
Don’t Settle For Second Best
Do not let your self-esteem drop so low that you put up with someone who is constantly criticizing you and does not show you any respect. Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for them behaving in this way. You deserve better than this, so don’t settle for second best. Walk away from the relationship, as there is no doubt that someone better will come along one day. Yes, it can be hard, but it will benefit you both in the long-term.
Make sure you have fun together sometimes at least. Laughing together is a great help for any relationship, and yours will be no different. It could be at a film you are watching or maybe playing some sort of game. Having a fun element in any relationship is vitally important if it is to succeed.
Do you find yourself dating at age 50 or more?
Read these 4 Tips explored in this contributed post, to learn how to make your mid-life dating a positive experience.
Divorce rates for those older than 50 in Canada have risen over 30%. This seems to be in line with international patterns, as divorce is up similarly for older Americans as well. Around the world, divorce after 50 is becoming increasingly common. After leaving a long term relationship, dating during mid-life, in the new world of trends and rules, can be very intimidating. But it doesn't have to be an insurmountable challenge. With the right mindset, dating can be a path to meet new people and have adventures. Some of the adventures might be less than perfect, but a positive attitude can make a big difference.
Try to Stay Positive
Dating at any age can be hilarious, exciting, traumatic -- but mostly, fun. At the very least, it should provide you with an amusing story or two. It can definitely help to stay open minded and attempt to be light hearted about the whole thing. Perhaps accept a date from someone you might not "normally" go out with. Expand your horizons. Try going to new places. The important thing is not to focus not on finding a long lasting relationship, but on just getting out and having fun. As counter intuitive as it might seem, keeping your eyes on the big prize -- finding another love of your life -- puts too much pressure on the situation. It's better to think of dating as just a part of reality that has its own ups and downs.
Age Is Just a Number
Lately, people have been saying that 50 is the new 30, but on the whole, your age is simply not important to what you can and cannot do. Divorce after 50 presents a range of testing and unique challenges for sure, but going out to a dance club doesn't have to be one of them. You are allowed to do other things to enjoy yourself like exploring new places, going to a bar, and even spending the night with someone new. Don't worry so much about how old you are. Think about what you want to do, and do it. You will find there are plenty of people your age out there actually still living their lives to the fullest.
Make the First Move
One fantastic thing about dating in the modern world is that women no longer have to wait to be asked out. The rules have changed since some of us were dating in our 20s and 30s. Overall, though, both men and women in their mid-lives should feel confident about taking initiative. Ask someone to dance. Send a flirty text on an internet dating site. It's possible that you might be rejected sometimes, but other times, your feelings will be reciprocated, and that builds confidence.
Try Online Dating
If you're in your 50s, online dating might sound like a desperate move, but the stigma has completely gone out of it. More and more people meet this way. There are many online dating sites from which to choose, some specializing in ethnic or religious groups. Remember, you don't have to be looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. Right. You just need to be amenable to trying to have a fun night out.
Remember in your new adventures to always be safe. It's prudent to meet people for the first time in a public place, for example. You might also want to let a friend know where and when you will be out, and call him or her when you get back. As long as you are taking care of yourself and allow yourself to enjoy new places and new company, dating doesn't have to be scary. It can be a fun, transformational part of your life as a single person.
Read these dating tips to help you get back into the world of dating in this informative contributed post.
Dating is tough, and if you're just getting back into it after being in a long-term relationship, it can be seriously daunting and downright scary at times. Not only do you feel like you're supposed to have all this behind you, but you may still be struggling with being single after the realization of your relationship not working actually sets in.
Add to this all the new rules and trends in dating, plus the pressure that seems to be on people in the dating world, it can just all seem like too much and make you want to run and hide under your duvet.
However, with this post, we want to offer some reassurance that dating, although it may take some awkward encounters, it doesn't have to be so scary, and nowadays with so many options available for finding love, then it can actually be quite fun and can lead you on some amazing adventures with people who you'd never have imagined you'd meet - as with everything it's all about the mindset you approach it with.
So, to help you navigate the new dating world, we've offered up some hopefully useful tips that you can use on your search for love.
Get Clear About What You Want And Don't Want:
One of the biggest mistakes that people make with dating is that they approach it with no plan. They get on Google to find free gay chat lines or download the latest dating apps when feeling lonely, sad and frustrated with their lack of relationship, but they don't really take any time to sit back and consider what kind of relationship they'd like to have and what kind of person they'd like to meet. Making sure you do this will save you time and heartache down the road, but if you know what you're looking for and what you won't tolerate, then you're boosting your chances of finding a suitable match all the quicker.
Spend Time On Your Profiles:
One thing you'll find when you look on dating apps is that, although someone may look great, they've spent very little, or absolutely no time in creating their profile. Nowadays your profile is the first contact any potential suitors are going to have with you and if you want to have a date with someone, then make sure they don't just go after you for your looks, spend time on your profile and help them get to know a bit more about the real you.
Start A Conversation:
Again, a big problem with dating apps is the amount of people who just gather matches but don't reply to messages or even start a conversation. In order to increase your chances of finding love, you're going to have to put some effort into it and this involves actually talking to people.
It may sound awfully cliche, but a cliche is usually one because it's the truth. Yes, it's always good to put your best side forward on a first date and when getting to know someone, but this doesn't mean being fake. Be yourself if you want someone to like you for who you are.
There are many factors to consider when deciding to live together with someone, Do you know what they are? Read this contributed post to find out more.
The title of this article sounds judgemental, but it’s really not. Asking yourself this question is absolutely a necessity no matter how in love or well supported you are with your lover. Of course, there are some circumstances where moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend might be a no-brainer, depending on your current situation. For example, you might decide that since you have a child on the way, it’s best to set up that personal family home in a secure, stable manner, and really try to make a go of things. Many people have done this, and many people have succeeded in crafting a beautiful family home, even though it perhaps wasn’t as planned as it could have been.
But of course, this is a highly specific circumstance, and it may or may not apply to you. If you can, it’s always best to consider deeply when the potential of moving in together comes up. If you manage to simply take the time to consider your position, you can either move forward with your plans enjoying greater confidence or potentially avoid a mistake until you once again consider it.
Consider our simple list of advice to try and decide whether or not this is a good personal decision to make:
What is the financial history and handling like within your relationship? How has this been in the past? Perhaps a stumble here or there isn’t too worrying as we all experience problems from time to time. However, if your other half has been evicted at any time in the last five to ten years, or if they regularly overspend or miss their rental payments, there is no way that tying your financial history to this person is worthwhile.
If you are the person without this sense of financial reliability, it might be that you’re going to struggle to do so in a relationship. Couples often spend MORE when together, not less, and it’s often easy for bad habits to become twice as echoed if you both share them. It might even be that you only have a middling lack of financial handling in the recent past, but if your other half hasn’t challenged you on this (especially if you’re close enough to consider moving in together,) it might be that they aren’t quite the fundamental rock you expect them to be to help you manage your spending issues, nor should you expect them to be.
Financial untying yourself from someone else and vice-versa, especially when two names are on a lease or two contracts become one can become messy if the agreement dissolves. If you’ve ever seen Judge Judy, you’ll know that lawsuits between jaded ex-lovers who moved in together two quickly and shared each and every asset they owned is perhaps 90% of the lawsuits brought to the Judges panel.
It’s neither smart, romantic or clever to throw away your potential financial security to proceed with moving in. You can live semi-permanently with someone without having to tie yourselves together on one lease, or moving together in an apartment signed by both of you.
Of course, if you both have good credit, a history of on-time and well planned financial decisions, and you trust the other person, you can progress with greater confidence. We’d recommend knowing the person and their financial behaviours for at least two years before moving in, although more is often better. Once taking the decision to move forward, take another six months to verify everything financially, assessing and reassessing your eligibility for this life situation. Just like the waiting period after deciding on a tattoo design, time can often bring a refreshed sense of clarity in the long-term if we give ourselves enough time.
Of course, financial stability is one thing, but it’s nothing without the emotional glue that holds a relationship together. Young couples often think that love will last forever, but often it’s maturity that tempers the fires of love and helps retain that sense of rationality at the end of the day, even through tumultuous times. If your relationship often falls into an on-off form of connectivity, then perhaps fusing yourselves together with the financial responsibility of a home is not quite the best idea, even if focusing on a humble apartment at this stage.
It does seem to be somewhat of a cultural attitude that most couples fight and go through long, down periods, but that’s not true at all. Small grievances and annoyances are normal, but they must be talked through. If yourself and your partner have large blowouts, even one a year, it’s a sign that the relationship might not deal with the strain of maintaining and sustaining the funding of a household, no matter how humble.
It’s easy to see that having a child to ‘fix’ a relationship is an absurdly stupid move for most people, but moving in together can be nearly as toxic for both involved. If you haven’t had an argument or large disagreement in your relationship you haven’t worked through immediately, and you trust each other even in the harder times, it might be that you are suitable to consider this step more appropriately.
Emotions vs. Cold Hard Logic
While young love or even mature love can feel like a river of emotions you love to become swept in, this is never the right time to make life decisions that can impact you both. This isn’t to say you need to feel completely detached and mechanical in your decisions for the future, but you do need to temper the positives of your relationships with the worries of the future if you hope to make a good decision. It also cannot be done out of a sense of hurried pacing.
A good analogy is to imagine what you’re like when taking care of your weekly grocery purchases. If you head to the store while hungry, it’s likely you’ll purchase much more than you need. There are clinical studies performed that prove this resoundingly well, but the common sense of this situation is hard to argue in the first place. Consider how this might apply to your current situation, and you’ll have a good idea of what we mean.
Considering the appropriate plan can be worthwhile for now. HDB flats for couples are often the best starting, stepping stone on your path to joining the property market together. It’s best to stay humble. If you can both stay aware of your responsibilities and can temper your expectations to begin with, it might be that drawing up a long-term plan could be very appropriate to do.
Start small. Appreciate what you have. Focus on working together to better your career and financial situations instead of spending on the highest and most comforting residence you can right now. When pooling an income you may be able to achieve something nicer than you would have solo in the first place. Of course, a couple will only need one bed, so it might be that someone moving into the other’s apartment could be a better and cheaper alternative than to simply find a new place together.
Consider compromise. How might both you working commutes be affected? Did you want to live abroad for a certain amount of years? Where are both of your families? Do you have anyone else aside from the relationship participants to turn to for help if you’re struggling a little? Drawing up a set of rough plans of what life will be like on a daily, practical level can help you understand that which you’re getting involved in, giving you the red, amber or green lights to either stop, stay cautious and patient, or proceed with your decision. When contextualized like this, it’s often easy for couples to retain a sense of rationality about their potential timeline of moving, and that’s only ever a good thing.
With these tips, you’re sure to enjoy a more informed decision, no matter your final analysis.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes