 Coping With Loss: Writing A Book Coping With Loss: Writing A Book by Frank Kermit Have you ever considered writing a book? The book could be about the life of the person you lost. The book could be about your life, and how who or what you lost was a major part of it. The book could be a cautionary tale about appreciating what you got before it is gone. The book could be a warning to others so that they do not have to experience the loss you did. The book does not have to be a serious novel. The book could be a children's storybook with an important lesson. That part is up to you. Books have a page where you can dedicate it to your loss.
There are a lot of ways to keep the memory of your loss alive. If you like to write, a book is one of them. You do not even need a publisher. You can self publish your book using print-on- demand sites, or make it a PDF file for people to buy and or download on your own online site. Think about it. -Frank Kermit Dedication Page of From Loser To Seducer: The Story of Frank Kermit This book is dedicated to: Gary Johnson (May 11,1939 - December 18, 2006) I first met Gary in college. He had come back to school as a mature student (age 50+). Despite the age difference, we had become good friends, and I think of him as a mentor about life, while I was his mentor in school. He had lived quite a life for himself, as a road manager for an artist named Chubby Checker, and made a living for himself for many years in the downtown Montreal nightlife and bar scene as a club owner and bartender. When I had met him, he was retired from that life and had gone back to school to pick up what he had missed the first time around. He gave me an insider’s perspective of his world, with a non-judgmental view of my world. After college, we ended up in university together in the same program. He had to stop going to school after the first few terms due to ill health that included two strokes. In September 2005 I went to see Gary to hand him a copy of this book with his dedication. After that, I moved city. It would be the last time I saw him. He died three months later. I miss our time together.  Sign Up For Frank Coaching To Learn How To Cope With Loss
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 Coping With Loss: Setting Up A Memorial Coping With Loss: Setting Up A Memorial by Frank Kermit Setting up a Memorial can, sometimes easy the burden of grief. It means putting some of your focus on how you want your loss to be remembered. A memorial can take different forms. A statue or shrine in your own home. A symbol set up at your local place of worship. It can even be a donation in the name of the loss. It can also be a very private act, such as helping a needy family, done in the memory of your loss. If you find a way to set up a memorial, that works for you, that helps bring you peace and healing, then go for it. -Frank Kermit  donate to offer mental health support  Sign Up For Frank Coaching To Cope With Loss  A Tribute to Charles Chuck De Souza 1944 - 2017 A Tribute To Charles "Chuck" De Souza 1944-2017 by Jim Riga It's been almost a week now since I lost one of my best friends, Chuck, and it's extremely tough coping with the realization that I won't see him any more. We had known each other for many, many years since we first met at Pius X in the early 70's. Being in the same English department, and having seen each other quite often in miscellaneous activities, outside school hours, we quickly became buddies .... best friends ... brothers. His memory is still so fresh, so alive in my mind. They say that if you have 1 (one) "best friend" in your life, you're lucky. I'm not talking about acquaintances or just friends. I'm talking about "best friends". Well, I consider myself to be extremely fortunate in my life because I have had three; two of them (Lenny & Chuck) have passed on, and it hurts! It hurts a lot ..... It always will. So, if you are as privileged in life as I am, and you do have a "best friend", someone you can depend on through thick and thin, consider yourself to be one of the rare & lucky people. Not everyone has! Cherish that relationship for the wealth that it offers. Days pass so quickly, that in the blink of an eye, all those years and that relationship can come to an end. Cherish your friend .... Talk to each other .... laugh together ..... because life is short and there is no turning back the hands of time. Rest easy, Charles. A lot of people miss you, Bro. -Jim Riga  Jim Riga and Charles De Souza De SOUZA, Charles “Chuck” Peter - Born on November 4th, 1944, proud husband, father, father-in-law, brother, uncle, teacher/coach of 40 years died peacefully at home on Wednesday, June 14th, 2017 in Whitby at the age of 72 surrounded by his loving wife of 42 years, Alice and his children Jennifer and Jason (loving daughter-in-law Stacey). He will be sadly missed by his brothers Diego (Annette) and Louis (Mandy), his sisters Carmen (late Mathias) and Agnes (late Wavell). He is reunited with his brothers Bonny (Astrid), Marshall (Bertha) and Archie, as well as his parents Manuel and Elizabeth. He will also be survived and missed by his brother and sisters-in-law and his many nephews and nieces. Special thanks to CCAC, Von & VHA Home HealthCare, especially Jennifer , PSW, Corrine, RN and Dr. Azi. By Chuck’s humble wishes, there will be neither visitation nor funeral, and in lieu of flowers, donations to the Canadian Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation are appreciated (cpff.ca).  Death and Loss  Kissing on a First Date: Rules Kissing on a First Date: Learning To Love The Lip-Lock By Frank Kermit You always go in for a kiss on the first date. A-L-W-A-Y-S. A first kiss isn't just for those dates that went really well from the get go. Sometimes, you might not really even know how you feel about someone after you have been on a full date with them, and it takes a kiss to ignite the chemistry that may be laying dormant underneath what could be confusing or neutral feelings. A kiss is likely not going to salvage a potential relationship that is dead on arrival. However, a kiss can be the start of a potentially passionate connection if all the other elements are already there and just needed the kiss as a trigger for the kiss-boom. In fact, the right kiss, with the right chemistry, can turn the end of a mediocre date into an invitation inside for a nightcap, to a satisfying breakfast in bed the next morning.
Waiting To Kiss Only Works If.... For those people that claim that waiting for a kiss adds mystery and intrigue to a potential relationship, they do not factor in that it only works that way if the two people ALREADY like each other. If even only one person in that couple is unsure, or at the very least feeling neutral about the other person, going in for the kiss forces the issue. If you like drama, going for a kiss, whether it is a good kiss, a bad kiss, or a rejected kiss carries a heck of a lot more drama with it, than not going for the kiss at all.  Friendzoned? The Effects Of NOT Kissing One thing is for sure. If you want to stay "just friends" with someone, then NOT going in for that kiss at the end of a date is a pretty secure way of only ever being a good friend. Being friends can be a good thing, but it is a lousy prospect if you want MORE than just friendship with the person at the center of your heart's affection.  Mistakes Virgins Make The No-Kissing Male Virgin I know one person who said that he never goes in for the kiss because he wants to show a girl that he likes that he respects her. For the record, this particular 26-year-old guy never had a girlfriend in his life. I asked him if he ever considered that the girl might have a different interpretation. He seemed confused. I pointed out to him that unless she understood that he was purposefully not trying to kiss her as an expression of respect, that the girls he dated might have in fact interpreted his lack of action as a lack in romantic interest in them. The look of remorse and realization that took over his face is forever etched in my memory. How To Practice Kissing For people that are new to kissing, or wanting to experiment with kissing techniques, here are some tips.
Tips for Kissing
French Kissing Note: Some people do not like French kissing, so let the other person invite your tongue in for a more passionate lip locking if it is within their scope of comfort, but never force your tongue in.
A word about boundaries... When someone tells you, "I never kiss on a first date" they are expressing a boundary. Respect it. Find out what that person's boundaries are and when a first kiss IS an option. If the person says, "a kiss is OK on a third date"; then back off and wait until the 3rd date. However, there is a catch. You respect the boundary to the point where, if your partner seeks to break his or her own boundary, you refuse to give in. It is a test. If you give in to the kiss, you will likely not see that person again. If trust and safety are important to the person who stated the boundary you will get the kiss, but likely not another date. If you hold out, you are more likely to get to see that person again, and the good night kiss might just be one of those times you end up making that person breakfast the next morning.  Dating Within Social Circles Never Kiss And Tell Finally, when you do kiss (whether it is the lousy-peck-on-the-cheek type or the lasting-wet-passionate-curl-your-toes-shivers-down-spine-tingling-in-the-fingers type of kiss) you never kiss and tell. Never. Not your best friends, not your closest confidant, and not your social networks. The person you kissed may tell, but you never let your lips slip loosely. In time, the more people that learn you keep your kiss history to yourself, the more people will offer to be part of your kiss list history. -Frank Kermit  Sign Up for Coaching To Find Your Next Great Kiss  Happy Father's Day! A Father's Day memory: Got something in my eye...I was at the park with my son (he is 7). He tells me that he plans to do two things when he grows up, and then wants to become a parent. I told him he does not have to become a parent if he does not want to. He says "hey, I am in charge of my own destiny!" ..then I asked him why he wants to one day become a parent, and he says,"I want be like you" ....feeling a little choked up right now... You are a great dad if you... -Put your kids ahead of the rest of your extended family -Show up to your kids weddings even if your wife did not want to attend -Made an effort to be a better father to your own kids than your own father was to you -built up your child's sense of independence and self esteem instead of using shame and guilt and dependence as a means of control -ask your children about their life dreams and help guided them to turn them to goals -supported your kids to reach full potential in ways that made kids feel good about themselves -protected your children from those that would hurt your kids, even at the risk of your own social status in your community -Taught your children the value of being treated well by others -Did not involved your children into the adult fights you had with your spouse -Who shows affection to your kids even if you still have to learn to be comfortable doing it Happy Fathers Day if you are this kind of Dad!! From the Coach who deals with clients that did not have this kind of dad. -Frank Kermit  Adult Male Virgin Advice: If She Likes You, DATE HER! (originally an article from the Frank Talks Adult Male Virgin Newsletter) Start Dating Someone That Already Wants You by Frank Kermit Once you and I starting coaching, you may be starting to remember some of those girls who were into you and wanted to date you, but who you never gave a fair chance. These women liked you enough, and you knew it. But you would not be open-minded enough. THIS is one of the reasons you are still a virgin. So here is your tip of the week: EVERY GIRL GETS ONE DATE WITH YOU. If she is into you, you go out on a date or two and GIVE HER A CHANCE. This will accomplish 3 things.
If YOU aren't willing to give a girl a chance, then on some level, you will only focus on women just like you, who would NOT be open enough to give you a chance. However, if you give every girl that likes you a chance, you will start to focus on girls that WOULD give you your chance. -Frank Kermit  Lose Your Virginity With Coaching  Coping With Loss: The First Year of Firsts The Year Of Firsts After Loss by Frank Kermit The first 12 months after a tremendous loss is the hardest. It is the first time you will experience yearly events without the person or element you lost. Your first birthday without the person. Your first holiday season without your previous career. Your first significant day of importance, without your precious pet. Each time you experience a date of significance, without your loss, it is a hard reminder of the events that lead to the loss to beginning. It is important to remember that as each year passes, it WILL get easier. When they say time helps the healing process, that does mean that time will make the hurt go away. What it does mean is that with time comes experience of being able to go through each year after your year of firsts. And with each passing year you get more experience at getting used to your life without your loss. So hang in there. Expect that the first year is going to be the hardest. And, over the years, you will have new people, new jobs, and new pets to cherish and celebrate with you. -Frank Kermit  Sign Up For Frank Coaching To Cope With Your Loss  Kinky Acrostic Poetry *Disclaimer: the views of the author do not necessarily represent the views of Franktalks.com. It is important to present different views/mindsets, and that includes material that may be deemed controversial in nature. Kinky Acrostic Sunday by Annabel Joseph Oh BAM! Yes, you remember writing Acrostic poetry from first grade. Who's to say we can't put it to kinky purposes? Acrostic poetry is another example of "constrained writing"--a literary technique in which the writer is bound by some condition that forbids certain things or imposes a pattern. Ooh...what could be more kinky than being constrained or bound? Here are a few examples I came up with. You gotta try this. It's fun!
Be sure to post your own acrostics in the comments! -Annabel Joseph http://annabeljoseph.com/ To read past articles by Annabel Joseph, click: www.franktalks.com/blog/stigma-and-struggles-of-humiliation-kink The Following are two interviews that Frank Kermit and Annabel Joseph participated in and one clip from Annabel Joseph audio book
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Recipe for Butternut Squash Gnocchi with Sage & Butter
This recipe also features the spice Nutmeg. Nutmeg grows on a tree that originates from the Banda Islands in Indonesia, also known as the Spice Islands.  THE BANDA ISLANDS Used as a condiment and for medicinal purposes (sleep aid, upset stomach) it also was a popular (though not very effective) choice in the late 1800’s to early 1900 as a method to attempt to abort a child! The most interesting qualities nutmeg possesses are in its history of use as an intoxicant. Used in the correct dosages it can create in the user a high similar to alcohol or marijuana. In fact the civil rights activist Malcolm X wrote in his autobiography, how he and other prisoners used it in the 1940s as a legal, and easy means of getting high in prison. A low dose of fresh nutmeg (3.5 grams or 1-1.5 teaspoons) can for some people lead to feelings of euphoria, relaxation, elevated mood, laughter and enhancement of the senses. On the island of Zanzibar, off the cost of East Africa, the Muslim religion is predominant so alcohol is banned, but nutmeg is not. Sold in markets for cheap, the spice is used by women to feel relaxed and it is often written about that women take it in their morning porridge the day of a wedding to ensure they are relaxed and sexually receptive.  https://tinyurl.com/ycbnqw8f Photo of Nutmeg The aphrodisiac properties of Nutmeg were studied at “Aligarh Muslim University” in Aligarh, India. The findings of these studies strongly corroborate the traditional uses of nutmeg to improve sexual function and enhance the sex drive. They suggested that “nutmeg may be a safe and effective herbal remedy in treating sexual disorders.” (Tajuddin et al. 2003; Tajuddin et al. 2005). Butternut Squash Gnocchi with Sage & ButterINGREDIENTS 1 1-pound butternut squash 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 12- to 14-ounce russet potato, peeled, quartered 3/4 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese, divided 1 large egg, beaten to blend 1 1/2 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg 1 teaspoon salt 1 3/4 cups (or more) all purpose flour 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter 2 tablespoons chopped fresh sage Additional grated Parmesan cheese PREPARATION Preheat oven to 400°F. Cut squash lengthwise in half; discard seeds. Place squash halves, cut side up, on baking sheet and brush with oil. Roast until squash is very tender when pierced with skewer and browned in spots, about 1 1/2 hours. Cool slightly. Scoop flesh from squash into processor; puree until smooth. Transfer to medium saucepan; stir constantly over medium heat until juices evaporate and puree thickens, about 5 minutes. Cool. Measure 1 cup (packed) squash puree (reserve remaining squash for another use). Meanwhile, cook potato in medium saucepan of boiling salted water until very tender, about 20 minutes. Drain. While potato is warm, press through potato ricer into medium bowl; cool completely. Measure 2 cups (loosely packed) riced potato (reserve remaining potato for another use). Mix squash, potato, 1/2 cup Parmesan, egg, nutmeg, and salt in large bowl. Gradually add 1 3/4 cups flour, kneading gently into mixture in bowl until dough holds together and is almost smooth. If dough is very sticky, add more flour by tablespoonfuls. Turn dough out onto floured surface; knead gently but briefly just until smooth. Divide dough into 8 equal pieces. Line 2 large rimmed baking sheets with parchment. Sprinkle parchment lightly with flour. Working with 1 dough piece at a time, roll dough out on floured surface to about 1/2-inch-thick rope. Cut rope crosswise into 3/4-inch pieces. Working with 1 piece at a time, roll gnocchi along back of fork tines dipped in flour, making ridges on 1 side. Transfer gnocchi to baking sheets. Repeat with remaining dough. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and chill at least 1 hour. Can be made 6 hours ahead. Keep chilled. Working in 2 batches, cook gnocchi in large pot of boiling salted water until very tender, 15 to 17 minutes (gnocchi will float to surface but may come to surface before being fully cooked). Using slotted spoon, transfer gnocchi to same parchment-lined baking sheets. Cool. Can be made 8 hours ahead. Cover loosely and chill. Cook butter in heavy large skillet over medium heat just until golden, stirring often, 3 to 4 minutes. Add sage; stir 1 minute. Add gnocchi; cook until heated through and coated with butter, 5 to 7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to bowl. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup Parmesan. Serve with additional Parmesan. Recipe Courtesy Of: Cristina Mucciardi CookandDate events aren’t set up to be cheesy, intimidating or plain awkward. Every event is attended by successful singles wanting to experience something new and exciting. Bars, restaurants, clubs can be fun but variety is the spice of life and our events were conceived to be fun, stress-free environment where laughs, cocktails, networking, and a little cooking take center stage. In short, all you need to do is show up and enjoy the best of what this city is known to offer: great people, great food, great wine, and a true joie de vivre. This is the recipe that has made CookandDate a true success story for the past 8 years, week after week.
*Additional Information was added by Franktalks.com**
Research sources: http://www.hopi-nsn.gov/ http://www.everyculture.com/multi/Ha-La/Hopis.html#ixzz4irwsz5EQ https://www.pri.org/stories/2010-11-25/wanderlust-nutmeg-sexy-spice https://www.erowid.org/plants/nutmeg/nutmeg_article1.shtml  Dating in the Digital Age Dating in the digital age... how to find your soul mate. Written by: Pillow Talk Gal Can anyone ever find their soul mate? Is there even such a thing as a soul mate? If there is, how do you find them? These are some of the many questions single gals and gents are faced with on a daily basis. If you are a believer in the fact that your happy ending depends on finding that one special person to fulfill you, then you are one of many that believes this depends on finding ‘’the one’’ (an expression that rom-coms have been using as their bread and butter for so many years).
 The Coaching Workbook for Women Time When we’re younger we truly believe we have all the time in the world and are usually in no rush to settle down. As time marches on, we begin to feel like something is missing (this is often brought on by the fact that our friends or people in our inner circle, begin to settle down by choosing mates, getting married or having children). In some women, this is often the point where that infamous biological clock starts to chime so loudly you would swear it’s the default ringtone on your phone. At this point it becomes about finding someone to be with. You go on date after date, hoping to find the person you are supposed to be with. Time after time you put yourself out there (sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s really horrible and sometimes it’s just downright wrong/uncomfortable). Then, just when you tell yourself you are done looking, the most amazing thing happens. Love seems to find you! You know that saying: ‘’you will find love when you stop looking for it’’, well I can tell you for a fact that it does happen (it turns out rom-coms do get a few facts right). This is the scenario that sometimes happens when you let life runs its course. Now, what do you do if you’re not in your 20’s or 30’s anymore and you find yourself starting over? You want to go back out there and look for love again but dating seems so scary and juvenile. Where do you start? Well, that’s the beauty of dating sites! Technology is for once on your side because now that you have experience with love, you (hopefully) know what you’re looking for. Dating sites can really help you put yourself out there in a way that makes you feel less vulnerable than before (instead of having to either ask someone out or be setup on a blind date). Apps and sites can help you target exactly the kind of mate you’re looking for. Trust Although there is a certain comfort in picking and choosing from many different profiles, you still have the same uncertainty as with the more traditional methods: the trust factor.
This is where Internet dating and traditional dating resembles each other the most. You never really know until you meet and spend time with the actual person. Internet Dating Vs Traditional Dating So in the end, which method is best for finding your soul mate? The answer is either. In today’s society it’s so easy to just click a button and search for love, but ultimately it’s about the time and effort you put in that counts. No magic wands, no fairy god mothers just good old fashioned time, effort and of course faith that eventually love will ultimately find you (whether it’s digital or otherwise). Either way, love is out there and you just have to figure out what works best for you. – Pillow Talk Gal About Pillow Talk Gal Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons. "Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal *Disclaimer: the views of the author do not necessarily represent the views of Franktalks.com. It is important to present different views/mindsets, and that includes material that may be deemed controversial in nature. ******** P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.  Sign Up for Frank Coaching Now |
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