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5 Ways to Keep Yourself Safe on a First Date

10/7/2022

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When it comes to first dates, it’s a given that you need to remain safe. Usually, this person is a stranger, especially with the rise of online dating. So, how can you ensure that you’re going to be safe? What can you do? Keep reading on to learn more about it!
hands holding coffee cups
Stay In A Public Place
Don't Go Somewhere Alone

The first date is a potentially nerve-wracking experience, and it's important to take time to make sure you're prepared. There are more than enough scary stories out there of people getting endangered during a first date. For a first date, you should never go somewhere alone with the person.

 If you are in a public place, like a coffee shop, then you should always insist on staying in public. There are so many fun first date ideas in public anyways, such as horse back riding. You should also never go to someone's house on the first date, even if they push it. You need to grow trust for them before going anywhere in private.

Notify Someone That You’re Going on a Date

Always tell someone that you're going to be on a first date and make sure they know where you'll be and who with whom. This is the single most important thing you can do to stay safe when going on a first date.

Avoid Giving Out Too Much Personal Information

Use your head when it comes to contacting your partner before and after the event as well, so, don't give out any personal information like your address or phone number until you're more comfortable with them. This also goes for sensitive information like work details or passwords. If they ask, always be on the side of caution and say no rather than get into a debate. Stand your ground and look out for red flags. If possible, try to not even give out your last name.

Protect Yourself With Technology

In this day and age, it is common to meet your partner online. However, the dangers of meeting a stranger in person are always dangerous. Technology is a great thing to use for your own protection on a first date. You can use it for your own safety and make sure you don't end up in an uncomfortable situation. Ensure that your location is on, and maybe look for a safety app just in case.

Make Plans with Friends After the Date is Over

Why do this? Sometimes, a date wants to drop off their date, share an Uber, or something like that. This may sound nice, but the person will immediately know where you live. You’re better off going to another public space to see friends once the date is over.

Have a General Idea of First Aid

Anything can happen during a first date; something could happen to you, or maybe even your date. Learning basic first aid and maybe even looking into MyCPR NOW for a certificate could help. You never know when you’re presented with the chance to save someone.
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8 Things To Keep In Mind When You Start Dating Again

9/12/2022

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Dating can be a daunting prospect, especially if you're taking the plunge again after a long break. Here are eight things to keep in mind if you're getting back into dating:
couple smiling at each other
Try To Relax and Enjoy The Experience

​1. Don't take yourself too seriously

The dating world is full of opportunity and adventure, so approach it with an open mind and a sense of fun. If you start to take things too seriously, it'll all seem like hard work and you're more likely to get bogged down in the nitty-gritty details. Instead, try to relax and enjoy the experience – after all, meeting new people and going on dates can be exciting!


2. Be honest about what you're looking for

When you're filling out your online dating profile, be honest about what you're looking for. You may ask yourself is tinder safe? But it can be if you use it openly and honestly. If you're not ready for a serious relationship, say so. It's better to be upfront from the start than to string someone along only to end things later on.


3. Don't rush into anything

It's important to take things slowly when you start dating again. Don't feel like you have to jump into bed with someone on the first date – or even the second or third date! Get to know each other first and see if there's a real connection before you take things to the next level.


4. Be yourself

One of the best pieces of advice for dating is simply to be yourself. Don't try to be someone you're not – people will see through it and it's just not worth the effort. Be honest about who you are, and what you like and dislike, and let your personality shine through.


5. Don't play games

When you're dating, it's important to be genuine and authentic. Don't play games or try to manipulate the other person – it'll only backfire in the end. Just be yourself and let things happen naturally.


6. Keep an open mind

Don't rule someone out just because they don't fit your usual type. It's always good to keep an open mind when dating, as you never know who you might meet! You may find that you have more in common with someone than you first thought.


7. Don't be afraid to make the first move

If you're interested in someone, don't be afraid to make the first move. It's okay to be proactive and contact someone yourself – in fact, it shows that you're interested and confident. Just don't overdo it – a few well-placed messages are all you need.


8. Enjoy yourself!

Last but not least, remember to enjoy yourself! Dating should be fun, so make sure you take the time to relax and have a good time. If you're not enjoying yourself, then there's no point in continuing. Life is too short to waste on bad dates, so cut your losses and move on if someone isn't making you happy.


The Bottom Line

Dating can be a great way to meet new people and have some fun, but it's important to keep a few things in mind. Follow these tips and you'll be sure to have a good time – and maybe even meet someone special!
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How To Improve Your Chances Of Meeting 'The One'

1/19/2021

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Having trouble meeting the right person for you? Read 6 ways you can improve your chances of meeting that special person who could be your lifelong partner.
man and woman about to kiss
Improve Your Chances Of Meeting Someone Special

​Unlucky in love? Still not met the right person for you? It can be frustrating, we know, especially when you despise being single. The last thing you should do, of course, is resign yourself to the notion that you might be single forever. Instead, you should do what you can to improve your chances of meeting that special person who could be a lifelong partner.


So, what can you do? Well, here are some suggestions that we hope you find useful.


#1: Trust your friends to help you

Your friends probably know you better than you think, so they might have ideas about who you could match up with. So, if they ever try to arrange a date between you and somebody they know, don't be too quick saying 'no.' It might be that they have somebody in mind who shares your interests and quirks, so let your friends play Cupid because true love could be right around the corner.

#2: Improve your online dating profile

Thanks to the internet and the wealth of dating sites and apps that are available, you have more chances than ever of meeting the right person. But if you're not getting many swipes or messages, it might be because of your online dating profile. The photos you have used may not be the most flattering, and it might be that you sound desperate within the 'about me' section. Ask a trusted friend to give your online profile a once-over and if they suggest improvements, consider their suggestions. Click the following link for more info about online dating and use the advice given. 

#3: Be less judgemental

It might be that you have been on dates with people in the past, or you may have considered asking somebody out on a date. But if things didn't progress in either scenario, it might be because of your judgemental attitude. You may have decided that you didn't like something about the other person, be it an aspect of their personality, looks, or lifestyle. We all do this, but our first impressions are sometimes wrong. Sometimes, we need to give people a chance, so if you know you have been too judgemental, try to be less reactive. When you're too fussy, you might rule out your chances of romance, and you might miss out on the person who could be the one for you.

#4: Find ways to meet new people

The only way you're going to meet somebody is by putting yourself out there. Admittedly, this is difficult at the moment with the pandemic restrictions, but you can still sign up to more dating sites and apps. When life returns to normal, you can also make the effort to be more social. Go out to parties when you're invited. Sign up to community classes and attend local events. Check out these ideas for meeting new people. And when you are in the company of others, talk to them. Put your phone down, introduce yourself to others, and have a good old-fashioned conversation. It might be that you meet somebody who will be the perfect match for you!

#5: Be a better date

Sorry to say it but you may have been unlucky in love because of mistakes you have made on your date. You may have made little effort with your appearance, and you may have talked about yourself a little too much. You may have forgotten to compliment the other person, and you may have been overly pushy with them about your need to find true love. These are all classic first date mistakes and should be avoided. So, be mindful when you are on a date with another. Take time getting yourself ready beforehand. Make every effort to compliment them. Ask your date questions about themselves, but don't get too personal on the first date. And be yourself, without coming across as desperate and needy. If your date goes well you might stand a better chance at another, and if things progress well, romance could soon follow. 

Finally

It can take a while before we finally meet the right person, so don't lose hope or patience. Follow our suggestions and continue to browse our website for more advice. Get in touch for the coaching services that we can offer too, as you can improve your true love chances with our experienced advice. 

There will be a day when you do meet 'the one,' so even if that isn't today, don't give up hope on your chances for tomorrow. 
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Fast Love: How To Speed Up The Process Of Finding A Special Person

5/14/2020

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Read 8 Ways To Boost Your Chances At Finding Love
​
man and woman holding heart balloons
Boost Your Chances At Finding Love


​While there's no time limit on finding love, staying single for a long time can quickly dampen your spirits. Besides, the sooner you find the person of your dreams, the more time you'll have together. So, if you want to find love, there's nothing wrong with wanting to find it fast.


It's impossible to force or rush love, but you can certainly give your chances a boost. Here are eight great ways to make it happen without placing unnecessary pressure on yourself.

#1. Learn To Love Yourself

Corny? Definitely. Still, you cannot possibly expect someone to love you if you don't even love yourself. Before seeking validation from someone else, you must first master the art of unlocking the best version of you.

Dating is a significant part of your life, but it needn't be the only defining feature. Chasing other goals, such as getting fitter or gaining a promotion at work, can be very rewarding. Aside from directly enhancing your life, it'll make you happier and self-confident. In turn, this makes you more attractive.

Quite frankly, without this strong foundation, the path to finding love will be a whole lot bumpier.

#2. Know Where To Look

There's no set guidelines on where you can or can't find love. A growing number of people are finding love online, but there are still plenty of places to meet people in the real world. Still, you must learn to look in the right locations.

Society has changed, and people are more likely to listen to a podcast rather than talk to people on their commute. Meanwhile, bars can be a little daunting. Sharpen your aim by using your career and hobbies as ways to meet like minded people. When you do, the hopes of meeting someone are greatly increased.

Alternatively, if using speed dating, choose a themed event you can get behind.

keyboard with heart
Finding Love Online Is Only One Way


​#3. Make First Impressions Count


As humans, we actively make judgements within seconds of meeting people. Whether it's online or offline, you may only have a few seconds to grab a person's attention. So, while love isn't all about appearances, yours must count.

With this in mind, learning to take attractive photos for your dating profiles can make a big difference. Meanwhile, your posture and general body language deserve attention ahead of blind dates or approaching people at a bar. If you lose their interest right away, it's very hard to win it back.

Conversely, a great first impression will give you the confidence needed to make things run smoothly.

#4. Focus On Psychology

Physical attraction is, of course, an important part of the dating game. This is especially true in the early phases. Still, the mental and emotional elements can have a telling influence on any subsequent progress. Do not underestimate this factor.

You should research 'what is the scrambler mind game?' to gain a deeper understanding of the psychological edge. When you make yourself more desirable, your hopes of finding the right person are far greater. After all, there will be a bigger pool and a better chance of building relationships.

Besides, love is a meeting of the minds as much as it is a meeting of the bodies.

#5. Play The Numbers Game

As well as psychology, you can additionally place an emphasis on the idea of probability. While the fear of rejection is probably the worst thing about dating, it shouldn't stop you from seeking what you want. You score 0% of the shots you don't take.

The fact is that if you strike up a conversation with 100 people, you are far more likely to get a date than if you only ask one person. Once you start dating, exclusivity may become a key feature. Until that time comes, though, there should be no guilt about speaking to multiple people.

You don't want to waste six months chasing one person for it to go all wrong.

clinking bottles together
Use Your Support Network To Meet People


​#6. Ask For Help


Only you can decide whether someone you date is the right person. Nonetheless, you do not need to face the process of finding that person alone. Your friends and relatives are an important support network that can aid the cause.

Most people won't want to tread on your toes. However, if you ask them 'do you know anyone suitable?' in the right way, they will help. They know your personality and looks as well as those of their friends and colleagues. If they are up for playing matchmaker, it could be an ideal way to find the one.

They'll probably speak to the other person first. So, you'll know that there is at least some interest.

#7. Make Dates More Memorable

Getting a date is one thing. However, if you want a second date to happen, it's vital that you give them a reason to want it. Aside from dazzling them with your wit and charm, why not focus on an event they'll love.

If you have a joint hobby or passion, use it. This could mean buying tickets to a gig or seeing a place you know they love. Otherwise, you can embrace the following fun date ideas that encourage you to have an enjoyable time, even without the ingredient of love. It also allows feelings to grow organically.

When a person associates spending time together with increased enjoyment, success is assured.

#8. Stop Worrying

It sounds crazy, but it's often the case that ending the active pursuit of love is the best solution. When you spend too much time thinking about it, the stress and pressure can stop you from being yourself. It also blocks what's right under your nose.

If you do meet the right person, that could signal the end of your bachelor life. So, use this time to enjoy the benefits of being single. Travel the world. Follow your passions. Do what makes you happy. You don't want to look back on this period and regret missing out on opportunities.

Aside from improving this stage of life, it supports any subsequent relationships you may enter.

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When You Can, Enjoy A Truly Unique Dating Experience

1/25/2020

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Dating doesn't have to be boring! Read more about how you can make your dates more interesting and memorable too!
two people lying in the back of a pickup truck
Try A Different Kind Of Date To Make It More Enjoyable



​It’s very easy for us to get too formulaic about this whole ‘dating’ process. First you meet someone in person or online, then you speak a little, then you go on a date, perhaps for a meal or bowling or something else active, and then you do that a few times. You’ll decide if you like the person or not, and from there, things may become a little more serious, if only just.


If this works for you, then you deserve to enjoy that process. There’s no reason why this can’t be a successful approach. And yet for some people, going through the motions simply isn’t enough. These are the people who actually wish for a good time on a date rather than ‘ticking all the boxes.’ We would recommend you try to see what it’s like to follow this path, a little off the beaten track. To do this, you have to provide your date an experience slightly out of the norm, and also provide that for yourself. This way, you may find your dating experience is much more memorable than it would have been otherwise.

Let’s see what this may look like:

Head On A Double Date

A double date experience with a friend can be a great idea, and it can bring with it a range of hilarious new memories. It can also take the bite out of a first date, be that the tense exchange you might have with someone new, or the artifice you may feel. When you can laugh as a small group and select the best double date ideas together, you have more of a chance of making a success from the evening. Approaches like this signify novelty, and more than anything, the willingness to have fun.

Show Them Something You Care About

Showing your date something that matters to you can be important. For instance, if you work in a museum, it might be that showing them around the private collections in a curated showing could be something you organize with your boss in your downtime, provided you work overtime to justify it. Don’t be afraid of bringing them into your world, be that culturally, through your passions or even profession. Sometimes shared passion can mean so much more than polite small talk.

Jump Into Their World

If you hope to bring them into your world, don’t be afraid to ask them to show you theirs. For instance, it might be that they’re a dancer, and would love nothing more than to see a show taking place in the city that weekend. If you can curate a date idea based around a passion of theirs, or to surprise them based on the information they have given you, they may just see how well you have thought this out. It’s always nice to learn and experience something new, even if it’s not your usual cup of tea.

With these date ideas, you’re sure to provide and gain a truly magical and novel dating experience.

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Partner Hunting: Maybe You Need To Sharpen Your Aim

9/29/2018

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How do you meet the partner for you? Follow these dating tips to sharpen your aim to find your love match in this contributed post.

​
​We don’t often think about it or even acknowledge it because it's just normal. We don’t want to limit our choice of partner so we leave the door open to many possibilities. We go out there onto the dating scene, hoping to find someone that we can be with for the rest of our lives. But stop, don’t you think that’s casting the net our rather wide? You’re just ‘hoping’ to meet someone that you can not only like, but love? Very rarely do relationships last where you are making a choice to cope with someone that you know, deep down you don’t like. Alas, many of us have fickle hearts and we believe or hope that we can change the person more into being like us in the future. That is ridiculous, you can’t change a tiger’s stripes. We need to accept people for who they are and not try to change them just to suit us and our feelings. So how on earth do you find someone that you can love? Well, for a start you should sharpen your aim.


man and woman with name tags talking
Sharpen Your Aim When Looking For Your Love Match
Photo Credit: Randy Gon

​Networking circles from work


That old saying of, ‘if you’re single, go ahead and mingle’ is true of many public social gatherings. We always network at work, we need to. Meeting new people from our line of work and talking about things that mean a lot to us professionally is a great way to meet a potential lover. In fact, that’s how most relationships start off. You’re at work and suddenly someone who you considered a colleague or even as part of another company, make your heart race every time you see them. Well, rather than going out on the dating scene, how about start looking for someone who does the same thing as you for a living? You’ll have much more in common immediately and lots to talk about on the first date. The tension is also less because you know what they’re talking about and you can engage with them on a deeper level.
​
man and woman running race in water
Try Meeting Someone Who Has Some Of The Same Interests You Do


​Take an interest seriously


Those that take their hobby seriously, will end up having to mingle with new people eventually. Especially in sports, if you take it seriously enough you’ll end up wanting better equipment and a better place to play that sport. Take archery for example. If you take it seriously enough, you’ll want to join a club. At this club there will be people who have the exact same interest and have the same issues of improvement and equipment as you do. You’ll end up meeting someone that you would like and want to become more than just friends with. However the tension is already broke because you have been around each other a lot and focus on a joint or shared goal in the sport you play. There are dating websites that are specific in their outreach such as Muslim Dating. Such tools are great for finding people that are into the same thing as you and can narrow down what kind of interests you may have in common.


Instead of aiming broadly at a wild forest full of different people, why not just cut to the chase? Look for a potential partner in interests and professions that you yourself have love or like of.



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Dating Tips For Shy Guys

8/30/2018

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Are you shy and don't feel comfortable dating?
Read this contributed post which has 4 dating tips for shy guys who want to overcome their dating anxiety.


​There’s a common misconception that being shy has to get in the way of and ruin your dating life when that isn’t the case. Being shy doesn’t have to impact your dating success or be seen as a bad thing - we each have our own, very unique personalities and if being shy is part of yours, you need to learn to make it work for you.


Perhaps you don’t know how to talk to people who you’re attracted to? Maybe you’ve tried to make a relationship work in the past while hiding your feelings and it’s all ended in one big mess? What it’s important to remember is that your shyness is not your whole identity, it’s just one part of who you are as a person.

man and woman walking holding hands
Shyness Is Not Your Whole Identity, It's Just One Part Of Who You Are


The good news is that if you take note of the tips below, you can make dating that little bit easier (and more enjoyable) for yourself.

Understand that just because you’re attracted to someone that doesn’t mean they’re not a normal person

Regardless of how attractive someone is, they are just normal people. That’s the thing to remember because there’s no need to be shy when talking to just another person, is there? Picture this, you’re in a supermarket, you see someone cute in the aisle but are lost for words about how to introduce yourself, but when you’re at the counter with the cashier you’re happy to chat away. These two people are no different from each other - that’s what you need to understand.

Make friends who are extroverts

You’re an introvert and that’s cool but make friends with people who are extroverts. Studies have shown that it’s easier to relax when you’re around louder people who like to be the centre of attention because that takes the pressure off of you. You’ll find chatting with people that you’re attracted to, far easier in this kind of setting.

Date online

To build confidence in yourself, spend some time online dating and using services like https://www.guyspyvoice.com/phone-free-trial/gay-male-chat-coverage to meet people. Dating can be daunting but the more people you chat to, either online or over the phone, the more your confidence should grow. As your confidence grows, you should start to feel less shy when it comes to talking to people who you’re attracted to.

Let go of the bad

If you've had bad dating experiences in the past, you need to stop holding onto them and let them go. If you don’t let go of the bad experiences that you’ve had, they will haunt your dating life forever and make you shyer than you were before. It’s important to realise that everyone has bad dating experiences but that they don’t have to define your future of dating.

When you’re a shy guy, dating is not always an easy task, but if you take note of the tips above and implement them in how you date, you can make landing yourself a partner a slightly easier task.

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Tips For A Successful Blind Date

5/29/2018

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Blind Dates don't have to be a nerve racking experience. Enjoy the moment by utilizing some of these top tips for a successful blind date as you read this contributed post.
romantic patio date
Patio Date
If you are going on a blind date, you may be feeling nervous and anxious about the experience. What should you talk about? What if there are any awkward silences? What if you are not attracted to the other person? These are just a few of the questions that may be going through your mind. But there is no need to worry; simply read on to discover some top tips for a successful blind date.


Use a matchmaking service – There is only one place to begin, and this is by using a matchmaking service to suit you up with your date. You can find out more information about this here: https://macbeth-matchmaking.com/dating/professional-dating/. Why should you use such a service? Well, you do not want to go on a blind date with just anyone. If you do, then all of the worries mentioned in the introduction may come to life. However, with a matchmaking service, you can be certain that you are going to be going on a blind date with someone you are compatible with.


Leave your insecurities at home – You need to bring the most confident version of yourself to the table. Leave your insecurities at home. It does not matter if your date isn’t into you; we were not put on this planet to be attracted to everyone that we meet.


Throw out your expectations – One of the biggest problems when it comes to blind dates is that people go in there with expectations. There is no quicker way to kill your date then to conjure up an image of what the other person is going to be like. If they do not match this image, you end up ruling him or her out without giving them a chance.


Prepare some questions – Think of some questions in advance that you can ask if it goes a bit quiet. Of course, you do not want it to sound like you are interviewing the person, and stay away from boring questions like what is their favorite color. Instead, why not ask what they would do if they won the lottery.


Wear something you are comfortable in – Yes, it is important to dress to impress. Nevertheless, you need to make sure you are comfortable. If you are not, it will show. You can find advice on what to wear on a date here: https://uk.match.com/pages/advice/dating-advice/dating-advice-women/dating-tips-how-dress-date/. Yes, those high heels may look amazing, but they don’t look good if you appear like you are going to topple over with every step that you take.


Hopefully, you now feel more prepared for your blind date. If you follow the advice that has been provided above, you can make sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible. From being the real you to ensuring you fix up a date with someone you are going to be compatible with, follow the steps above with care.



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Worst First Date Stories Ever

4/8/2018

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worst first date stories
Worst First Date Stories Ever


My dear friends,

I recently did a radio interview on the topic of Worst First Date Stories Ever.  I had asked people to submit their stories online for the show. A number of people submitted stories, but there was not enough time on air to cover them all. Here are the stories of some people's worst first date experiences.  If you have a first date disaster story to share, please share it in the comments of this post.

-Frank Kermit





My favorite brewery is where I took lots of first dates, and my date commented on the appearance of the server and presumed she was pregnant -and asked her... She was NOT pregnant, and the server chastised us both soundly, then carried on with the excellent customer service she and that bar are well known for. Her resilience was legendary. Needless to say the vibe was dead and my date left early. I apologized profusely to the server and it's still my favorite bar/restaurant to this day. What in learned was: Lead the conversation and exercise zero tolerance of disrespect towards those you care for even if it means ending one of the hottest dates you've ever had.

-Tom, Exterminator,
USA



****

Never had a disastrous first date personally.
However, I am shooting a documentary entitled "Who Farted?"
A section deals with the time when you can fart in front of your partner as a key passage in love. (Farting on a first date?) Seriously.

-Albert Nerenberg, Documentary Filmmaker
https://www.facebook.com/TNFem/



****

After several attempts at scheduling a date because of dog sitting issues, we finally meet for dinner. He had just returned from a vacation with his dog. Just the 2 of them. Very cute, right? Or creepy, whatever. He seemed to be nice enough. While at dinner he explained how they had a lovely relaxing time (yes, him & the dog), he’s had to hire 3 dog sitters because the dog was bored of the first 2, satisfied with his job, and now looking to form the next phase of his life. I’m listening, answering his questions, engaging in conversation. He says to me “you know I feel so comfortable with you. Like I can share anything with you.” “Aww that’s very sweet thank you!” Right?  He leans in and says “I want to share something personal with you”.  “I am flattered. Please feel free.“  “You know I really love my dog.” Yes, I do. “I love playing with him. We love playing with each other. He really gets me through some of the loneliness I feel, sometimes.”  “Of course. That’s awesome that you have the dog in your life to help you through those times. People underestimate how much companionship, caring, love, and responsibility a dog provides. Some people treat their dogs as they would a child.”  “I’m so glad to hear you say that. So many people don’t understand that kind of feeling you get from a pet. In fact, I’d like to tell you something else.” [Leans in closer]. “I play with my dog naked.”  “WHAT?” “Yes, I mean, the dog is naked; why shouldn’t I be? I really like the feeling of his fur on my naked body.” I get up from the table. He says” where are you going? Are you offended by this?” "Oh, absolutely not. I just forgot that I had to play with my cat".
  
-Clarissa Silva,
Behavioral Scientist and Creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method,
http://clarissasilva.com/services/

 

****


Well I went out for dinner once with this guy . After dinner in the car ride home . He insisted I give him oral sex while he was driving!!! He bought dinner and I owed him! First red light I hopped out of the car. Scary first date.

-Kim, Musician
Brossard



****


I offered to get her a drink. She turned it down. Then after the meal when it felt to me like there was NO chemistry she started to order drinks. By the 3rd one in she threw up on her way to the bathroom lol. I kept thinking she would stop ordering them and finally I just paid the bill and said "I gotta go!" Apparently she thought we had a "connection" lol

-Brian, Investor
Toronto



****

We had gone out to dinner - he complained about everything. I knew I definitely wouldn't be seeing him again, but figured maybe I could at least get some sex out of it. He didn't know how to kiss, and his other skills were laughable. I stopped him before we even finished getting naked because I was trying so hard not to laugh and just said "You can go now".

-Mary, Dancer
Montreal


****

One disaster was he asked me out and he picked the restaurant when I said I found it pricey he said don't worry and so I assumed he was paying. I ordered a $15 dollar drink. When the bill came he split the bill in half and told me what my share was and he wasn't even interesting to talk too!
​

-Marilyn, bookkeeper
Ottawa


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****

​
I once had a girl on a date and she was flirting with the waiter at the restaurant and a different waiter spilled sauce on me by accident. Then we went to a bar and she was talking to another guy most of the night. And then on the way home she asked me to pull over so she can puke.
​

-David, Project Manager 
Montreal


​

****

​I was talking to a guy this week who said the past two women he met for coffee were very disappointing, so would I be open to doing a Skype date before we actually meet? You know, so he isn’t wasting his time...wow. Pass.
​

-Carrie, Public Relationships
Montreal


****


I do remember the first time I had a date, I essentially threw up before meeting the girl I had been long distance dating over the internet for 9 months, and was so self hating towards myself that she "just friended" me. I can't really remember much of anything other than she concluded I was really boring. It was pretty terrible to hear on my end and definitely tore me up inside for months when she told me.
​

-Clyde, DJ
Toronto

​

​
****

​I spent a month talking to someone every night online. Upon meeting face to face for the first time, he arrived grabbing me and french kissing them as the first hello - Not  cool. What saved him at the time is he was nice, and he kissed great LOL!!
​

-Alice, Catering


​
****

​She had also noticed that I hadn't put that I was looking for long-term dating on my OKC profile, but she decided to wait until we met in person to bring up with me that she was looking for long-term herself. I emphasized to her that, in fact, I wasn't looking for that at that point and that it might be best for us to call it a day if we were at that kind of impasse. She broke down crying in front of me, saying things like "All men want the same thing; I should just give up" and, somewhere in there, told me that she didn't trust the diagnosis her psychiatrist had given her of borderline personality disorder. Finally, she somewhat collected herself and said with a lot of tension in her voice, "You know...I may really wind up kicking myself for this...but I wouldn't be ENTIRELY opposed to seeing you again."
​

-Roger, Office Manager
New York, USA



​
****

​Because I dated out of towners after my divorce, we would meet at a hotel, sharing the room, but with two single beds. - At the hotel, the lady at the front desk wanted to change our room with two single beds to a large king sized bed- assuming we were married. Awkward.

​-Amy, Translation

Montreal
​
****

​Girl pursues me and I am confident she has finally come around to my advances on social media. So we go out for a drink and appetizers which turned into dinner and by the time I spent some good coin, she told me "it's complicated" and already has a boyfriend.

-Sam, Publisher
Toronto


​
****

​I was taken to see Silence of the Lambs as a first date - and not given the context of the movie. I was scared to walk home for months after.

-Annie, Chef
Montreal

​
****

And then there was the guy who told me he could not afford a flavor shot in his coffee at Starbucks...and proceeded to try to sell me his photos of a topless ex-girlfriend. We were standing in line at the Starbucks inside the Barnes and Noble, I laughed, and he said, "No, really, I don't know how I am going to pay my rent this month." So, I bought the coffee. And then, he proceeded to tell me that his ex-wife (or ex-girlfriend?) had continued to support him, because he was waiting for a disability settlement for a work accident. But, it had just been approved and he only had to get through the next three months. And we talked some more, about work, etc. And, he mentioned being a musician and a photographer. And I asked if he could use his photography (which was art) to make money for a few weeks, And he told me he had some of his photos in his car, and proceeded to show them to me on his phone. Include some of a topless woman. I finished my coffee, and he said "Do you want to hang out next weekend?" and I said "no thank you".

-Dante Spetter, PhD.

Clinical psychologist and dating, divorce, and parenting coach
Facebook page


****


We met online, she had only photos of her face, a bit filtered. However, I decided to take the risk. When I saw her I already knew she wasn’t my type. However, I always try to be a gentleman in situations like that and not to hurt people. I set out to have a nice evening and dinner with another human being. We went to a restaurant, sat and started talking. It was quite nice, she seemed interested in me, but I kept it casual. Our food arrived, and in the middle of the course she took out nasal spray, put it into her nostrils and took big breaths with all the expected sound effects.

-Merlin Moroz, Dating Coach
Lublin, Poland


 ****


I once went on a blind date set up by a friend of a friend. When we met, which was at a pretty fancy restaurant located in little Italy, I couldn’t get past his mannerisms. Also, the fact that he was newly divorced of two months, turned me off. He wasn’t very articulate or funny, which he thought he was, and I laughed at his jokes regardless, just to be polite. A half hour into the drinks before supper, he leaves to go to the bathroom and I text my friend at full speed! “Angie!!!! Call me in about five minutes and sound panicked on the phone! Just make up something so I can get out of this date!!” He came back less than five minutes later and sat down. We of course started chit chatting a little and the phone goes off! Angie - “Hey, I know you’re on your date but your son is sick and you must come home!” I rolled my eyes, thinking "she couldn’t have used a better excuse?” Me putting on the theatrics - “Oh no! Ok, give him some children’s Tylenol and I’ll be right over!” So while I excused myself to the blind date, he walked me to my car and asked “Can we do this again next week?” I looked at him and replied - “I don’t think so! Good luck!” He stood back and I got into my car and left. I couldn’t lie anymore! It was eating at me. I had to be honest. “Sorry buddy, you’re not my type!” Lol

-Lory, Author
Montreal



****

So, I went on a date with this gentleman. I had met him at a party and he was friends with someone I know. We talked the whole party and he seemed very intelligent, funny, nice. Maybe not completely my type but I wasn't necessarily ready for anything serious at that point. Now, I wouldn't ordinarily do these things, but because he was a friend's best friend, I was a little more relaxed about how I handle dates. So I met him somewhere, then he drove from there. We went to Annapolis and just had some food. Then, he showed me where his parents boat was. (And he still lived at home with them...yep) We saw the boat, and then he proceeded to pee off the end of the pier. Unashamedly. When we got back to my car and we were sitting in his car before I was getting out, he took my arm and licked it from the bottom to almost the top. I wasn't having that. Very nice person, maybe not ideal for someone like me lol

-Piper Grey, USA


****


If you have a first date disaster story you would like to share,
post your story in the comments below!

-Frank



0 Comments

How Do I Date?

4/5/2018

0 Comments

 
dating know how where to start dating
HOW TO START DATING
dating advice frank kermit
FRANK KERMIT GIVES FRANK ADVICE
Dear Readers,
Sometimes I answer questions on various sites online as I find them.
I occasionally post the question (edited) as myFrank Advice answer here on my blog.

Names have been changed to protect privacy.
(As much privacy as one can expect posting a question online using their real names). 

​


The Question:


"How do I date?"


-Without a Partner



Frank Advice Answer:

Dear Without a Partner,


It really depends what you are looking for. Your approach will be different if you are looking for something more casual (friends-with-benefits dating) or something more serious (long term commitment). Once you have an idea of what you are looking for commitment wise, you are ready for the next step.


The next step is to create a profile of the kind of person that would want, and who would be a good candidate for you. Once you can identify some of the criteria you are looking for, it becomes easier to identify where you would meet such a person.

For example: (and let’s use a particular one), let’s say you seek a sexually adventurous partner who is open minded and willing to explore new sensations with you. Well now that you have that profile, the question becomes: Where does someone who fits that profile spend their time?

Perhaps a popular sexually themed event or show? You can explore if there are communities that put on such events locally, or  seek out online communities that cater to your particular interests to meet like minded people.


Arrange times to meet people from the community or communities that you  have found. Take the time to talk to each person you meet privately. A local public coffee shop is an ideal location as it is public enough to be safe and private enough to share stories. The key here is to put your best self forward.

Do not lie about anything!  Demonstrate that you are looking for a partner and focus on what you have to give to another person.
Do not make it about what the other person must give to you.



If you are dedicated and follow through on this work (and yes dating is work) and you should have at least one, if not more dating partners within 90 days.

After you are in a relationship/s, your focus should be on relationship management. Do not  take your partners for granted but do not  allow yourself to be used either.


This information is just the start of learning to date and having a relationship/s. Coaching helps in many ways, including having an accountability partner, who can help keep you on the right track.

Sign up for COACHING and we can get started.



-Frank Because I have to be
relationship dating coaching
RELATIONSHIP AND DATING COACHING WITH FRANK KERMIT
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