Blog of Frank Kermit of Frank Talks

Avoiding Pain is Avoiding Life is Avoiding Joy

2/23/2022

If your goal is to never have any pain of loss,
you also give up all the things that bring joy to a life.

For example: having a pet.

I am not a pet person, but I do acknowledge that pets bring a lot of love and joy into the lives of people.

Yes, there will be the pain of loss when the pet dies, but just because we mourn loss does not de-value the quality of life of having joy in your life.

One more thing...

Human beings will mourn the loss of the familiar, not just the good things in our life.

When a person makes a change in their lives for the better, a part of them still mourns the loss of the old ways, even when the old ways were bad.

That is part of the human nature experience.

If we must mourn the loss of the familiar, we may as well as find the most joy we can while alive, because we are going to feel the pain of mourning regardless if the experience was joy or not.

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5 Steps To A More Confident You

2/4/2022

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Whether you are getting ready to go back out in the dating world or are ready to shed that self-doubt you’ve been carrying around with you, there are plenty of reasons why you might want to become more confident in 2022. After all, confidence is often the key to success in our professional and personal lives. For example, if you are not feeling confident, you may be unable to open yourself up to more intimacy, which could make it harder to kickstart a relationship.

Despite its importance, confidence can be hard to build. This is likely due to the fact that there are so many different factors that can chip away at our confidence - such as experiencing a breakup, the (unwanted) thoughts and opinions of others, and even our own expectations for ourselves.

However, you’ll also be pleased to hear that confidence is not unattainable - you just need to be willing to work for it. Think of your confidence like a muscle in your body that you can make stronger and more pronounced by working on it each day. With that in mind, here are five steps to a more confident you.

Figure out what needs to change.

If you want to be more confident, it's likely that you’ll need to introduce some kind of change in your life. After all, if you stick to the same limiting patterns and behavior, it would be impossible for your confidence to grow under the influences that limited it in the first place. Therefore, it is vital that you get out of your own way and make real change. Figure out the root of your low-self esteem - and put plans in place to remove these factors from your life. For example, you may find that you doubt yourself because you are surrounded by toxic friends who break you down as opposed to building you up. If this is the case, you should seek to distance yourself from these people and instead find those who will support you unconditionally.

Shake up your look.

Most of your confidence will come from within - as it's more of a mindset than an accessory you can brandish when you need to show off a little. However, sometimes, the way we look on the outside dictates how we feel on the outside. As a result, shaking up your look is a great way to boost your confidence in 2022. Remember, this does not mean you have to opt for a dramatic haircut or throw out everything in your wardrobe. Instead, you could incorporate a few accessories, such as a rose gold septum ring, into your daily look to upgrade both your style and your confidence.

Spend more time outside of your comfort zone.

There is a reason we often choose to stay in our comfort zone - it's comfortable and safe and doesn’t require us to do a lot. However, as mentioned previously, if you never change, then neither will your confidence levels. As a result, you should aim to spend more time out of your comfort zone. This has numerous benefits outside of your general confidence. For example, it could help you to find your professional calling and discover the meaning of your life. Alternatively, it could help you to develop new hobbies and pastimes that reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Finally, it also helps you to make plenty of memories.

Acknowledge your ‘wins.’

Your confidence levels are tied closely to your ability to back yourself. As a result, you need to be your own biggest fan and start celebrating your wins as opposed to dismissing them. While this can be a difficult habit to fall into (especially as society encourages everyone to be humble), you’ll notice that over time your confidence grows as you begin to recognize just how great and capable you are.

Remember that nobody is perfect.

Here’s a secret for you: Perfection is a false construct. It is brought to us by societal expectations and photoshop. Acknowledging this will help you on your journey to confidence as it stops you from comparing yourself to others. While you may strive to be like your uber-successful friend, remember that you are successful in your own way - and they may look at you in the same light. You are your own imperfect person - and that is perfectly fine. The more you learn to love yourself - the more confident you will become. You’ll also be able to use this insight to help others become the best version of themselves too.

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