How Often Should You Have Sex With a Friends-With-Benefits?

3/31/2017

The Friends-With-Benefits Quiz, Question # 1

The Friends-With-Benefits Quiz Question # 1
by Frank Kermit

Let me start by saying that this information about how to manage a Friends-With-Benefits is an excerpt of my coaching workbooks for women and for men.

The FrankTalks.com Coaching Workbook for Men

One of the principles I teach in my coaching workbooks for men and women, "I'm A Man, That's My Job" and "I'm a Woman, It's My Time" respectively is that you have to learn how to manage even a friends-with-benefits relationship as part of learning to manage any and all successful relationship.

The FrankTalks.com Coaching Workbook for Men

Sometimes people might want to answer "A. As Often as Possible" because they figure that it is like getting "free" sex and they should take as much as they can. That does seem reasonable.

Sometimes people might want to answer "B. 2-3 Times a Week" because they figure, it is just like dating someone anyways and they want to enjoy themselves with their lover and it gives them time to see their friends-with-benefits lover AND still have time to go out, do their errands, and have time to themselves. That does seem reasonable too.

Sometimes people might want to answer "C. Every Weekend" because they figure the person is just a friends-with-benefits and they have busy lives, but that they should be willing to commit to meeting every weekend so that neither one has to date anyone else so they can have guaranteed sex, and a guaranteed plan for the weekend, and no one ends up lonely. That does seem reasonable as well.

Sometime people might want to answer "D. Once a Week, Or Less" because they figure that a friends-with-benefits is not a serious commitment sex partner, and that they want to enjoy the benefits, but still keep a proper emotional distance.

These are ALL REASONABLE INTERPRETATIONS.

But there is only ONE RIGHT ANSWER

Do you SUCK at Romance, and want to learn Romance-Made-Easy?

There are many levels of Commitment in The Hierarchy of Sex, Dating and Relationships.

Friends with Benefits is a STAGE 2 Level of involvement and it has various rules to make sure that you don't hurt someone unintentionally, that someone does not hurt you, and how you can manage being friends-with-benefits in a way that would allow everyone to stay on good terms even after it ends.

The Answer is D. Once a Week, Or Less

A proper FWB relationship means you only see each other once a week. Twice a week on occasion if you plan a special getaway.

One of the biggest mistakes that partners make in FWB is that they try to see each other as often as they can in a short time period. All this will do is confuse the issue.

Seeing each other more than once a week is acting like more serious relationship than it is, and can nurture romantic feelings to develop.

If you act like you are more than just a FWB, you can expect one or both partners to start feeling, wanting or expecting more from each other

P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add?

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1 Comment

Solly

9/1/2017 04:37:39 pm

I have had a few friends with benefits in my life. I am still good friends with one and a good acquaintance with another. Saved the life recently of one who offered herself sexually to me and we talk for hours on the phone and was on a good relationship basis with another but she now has a serious BF and does not answer my communications. So all in all not too bad. At an older stage of life, these woman know that I will not be nasty with them and that I really do like them. Just not in a monogamous type of way.