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The Plight of Adult Aged Virgins: Rejected For Being a Virgin
By Frank Kermit
Single adults in there 20s, 30s, 40s and even 50s have a variety of challenges they face when navigating the rough waters of dating.
However, a particular sub-set of these individuals have an extra challenge, that can continue to keep them single, if they do not know how to circumvent the expectations placed upon them by their dating circles.
By Frank Kermit
Single adults in there 20s, 30s, 40s and even 50s have a variety of challenges they face when navigating the rough waters of dating.
However, a particular sub-set of these individuals have an extra challenge, that can continue to keep them single, if they do not know how to circumvent the expectations placed upon them by their dating circles.
They are the adult aged virgins. Men and women who, for whatever reason, have never experienced sexual relations with another human being when younger and continue to do so as they matured.
We are not discussing adults who grew up in certain cultural or religious environments that valued virginity until marriage and ended up never being married. Those individuals tend to be proud of their virginities and hold themselves in high regard, attached to that aspect of their identities.
We are talking about adults who would have wanted, or been open too, sexual experiences through dating and relationships, but who never managed to end up having sex.
We are not discussing adults who grew up in certain cultural or religious environments that valued virginity until marriage and ended up never being married. Those individuals tend to be proud of their virginities and hold themselves in high regard, attached to that aspect of their identities.
We are talking about adults who would have wanted, or been open too, sexual experiences through dating and relationships, but who never managed to end up having sex.
Check Out The Adult Virgin System
Part of the struggle is how adult aged virgins are regarded. Virginity for adults in their late 20s and older, are not always seen as a prize.
In my Coaching Practice I have noted many virgins recounted how someone was interested in dating them UNTIL the virgins revealed their status as adult aged virgins.
At which point, many would-be lovers flee before the next dating encounter.
For those that reject dating adult aged virgins, reasons may include:
- not wanting to deal with the pressure of being someone’s first,
- not wanting the virgin to regret losing their virginity (facing resentment), and
- not having to wait for the virgin to feel ready for sex.
Potential partners who have previously been sexually active tend not to revel in the notion of waiting what could be weeks, or even months, for the virgin they are dating to feel ready and comfortable for first time sex.
It makes no difference if the potential partner is simply seeking a casual dating partner and sex for fun, or those looking for a more serious commitment. Neither of them wants to wait longer than they are used too in order to explore sexual compatibility and enjoyment.
In fact, even some match making companies will refuse to take on virgins as clients because of how difficult they may be to find a match for.
At one time there was a double standard, where an adult male who was a virgin was seen as being “less than a man”, but that an adult aged female was considered of value and virtue.
That no longer seems to be the case, as today many “good girls” simply struggle to find a boyfriend anymore, as few men want to deal with the perceived challenges that accompany dating someone who has yet to experience their first time.
That no longer seems to be the case, as today many “good girls” simply struggle to find a boyfriend anymore, as few men want to deal with the perceived challenges that accompany dating someone who has yet to experience their first time.
As far as my personal practice goes, the only people that hope to meet a virgin to marry one day are those from very strict religious and cultural backgrounds who seek the same.
Of particular interest, and something I write about in my book THE ADULT MALE VIRGINS HANDBOOK EBOOK not one virgin (male or female) has ever been excited by the prospect of marrying someone who is also a virgin. So it seems that even the virgins would rather not date virgins, expecting their future partners to guide them.
Even virgins REJECT other virgins!
Even virgins REJECT other virgins!
The First Step To Losing Your Virginity
With all this said, THERE IS REALLY NOTHING WRONG with being a virgin at any age. What matters is that the virgin is comfortable with being a virgin.
It is only an issue is the virgin is not happy being a virgin, but refuses to challenge him or her self to do something about it.
It is only an issue is the virgin is not happy being a virgin, but refuses to challenge him or her self to do something about it.
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4 Comments
Well, I am a virgin at 34(a male, gender of the virgin being DOES matter). I am always thinking too much when i date and i try to see "how is this going to end", so for example if she says that she likes dogs, i am leaving. It is enough for me to imagine how in the future of our relationship, we argue about letting a 50kg dog alone at home with our kids, or how it makes noises barking all the night long and we argue over it. So any reason, that for other ppl could seem nothing important, for me is a reason in the future to argue and separate. I am a very romantic and monogamous and i dont want to suffer being through separations and recovers. I would like to get laid and have sex, i want it more than anything in this world. to find the proper person. but it is nearly impossible, because I do search for a virgin woman. I've never heard of a virgin woman past 20, so it is a little bit harder for me because i am a man searching for a virgin woman. women under 25 seem very immature for me. I tried to date with non virgin women, but i find it to be infinitely frustrating as they use to not understand at all why I give value to my virginity(not religious, but romantic reason) So it triggers me for weeks to talk even for 5 minutes with a woman who was never been alone since her 13. It is so triggering me, i can not explain it with words. Like two separate universes colliding. I have found that a non virgin woman is not able at all to understand me even a very little bit. So i hope to find a virgin woman some day who is in legal age and she to be virgin because of more or less the same reasons as mine, so we can be able to understand each other. I remained virgin not because of religious reasons and i do search for a virgin woman. and i am a sexually healthy man with desires and my suffering is immeasurable.
Hi Niki, Thanks for writing in. There are women who are virgins in their late 20s, 30s, and even 40s, who like you, made a choice to wait until someone special. I have coached some of them. Perhaps the issue is not that they are not out there, but you do not know the signs and struggle to attract them. Also, are you just looking for a virgin to lose your virginity too, or are you waiting to lose your virginity to your future wife? Sign up for coaching with me and let's make 2018 the year you find your soulmate. -Frank
Thank you very much for the optimistic words that out there are some women who share my life story. I just wanted to share my case. It is all connected and my way of thinking produced a conflict with the whole world during all my life, which constantly keeps me in a state of deep depression. Practically anything triggers me, as almost every billboard, ad, tv show, song or movie is about sex and intimate relations. Sometimes even cartoon channels are triggering me as even they talk about first kiss and first love. I say all this to explain why I am constantly under deep depression and due this depression I never was able to properly finish a career, or find a good job. I was even kicked out of university because I am a virgin. It sounds unbelievable but it happened for very real. So, because of all of this, I can not afford any of your plans. Thank you for your kind answer!
Sounds like you could use some coaching for more than just your virginity. Tell you what. Email me at <a href="/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection" class="__cf_email__" data-cfemail="bdfbcfdcd3d6fddbcfdcd3d6c9dcd1d6ce93ded2d0">[email protected]</a> and lets see what we can work out. -Frank
