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Do you find yourself dating at age 50 or more? Read these 4 Tips explored in this contributed post, to learn how to make your mid-life dating a positive experience.  The Right Mindset Can Make Dating After 50 A Positive Experience Divorce rates for those older than 50 in Canada have risen over 30%. This seems to be in line with international patterns, as divorce is up similarly for older Americans as well. Around the world, divorce after 50 is becoming increasingly common. After leaving a long term relationship, dating during mid-life, in the new world of trends and rules, can be very intimidating. But it doesn't have to be an insurmountable challenge. With the right mindset, dating can be a path to meet new people and have adventures. Some of the adventures might be less than perfect, but a positive attitude can make a big difference. Try to Stay Positive Dating at any age can be hilarious, exciting, traumatic -- but mostly, fun. At the very least, it should provide you with an amusing story or two. It can definitely help to stay open minded and attempt to be light hearted about the whole thing. Perhaps accept a date from someone you might not "normally" go out with. Expand your horizons. Try going to new places. The important thing is not to focus not on finding a long lasting relationship, but on just getting out and having fun. As counter intuitive as it might seem, keeping your eyes on the big prize -- finding another love of your life -- puts too much pressure on the situation. It's better to think of dating as just a part of reality that has its own ups and downs. Age Is Just a Number Lately, people have been saying that 50 is the new 30, but on the whole, your age is simply not important to what you can and cannot do. Divorce after 50 presents a range of testing and unique challenges for sure, but going out to a dance club doesn't have to be one of them. You are allowed to do other things to enjoy yourself like exploring new places, going to a bar, and even spending the night with someone new. Don't worry so much about how old you are. Think about what you want to do, and do it. You will find there are plenty of people your age out there actually still living their lives to the fullest. Make the First Move One fantastic thing about dating in the modern world is that women no longer have to wait to be asked out. The rules have changed since some of us were dating in our 20s and 30s. Overall, though, both men and women in their mid-lives should feel confident about taking initiative. Ask someone to dance. Send a flirty text on an internet dating site. It's possible that you might be rejected sometimes, but other times, your feelings will be reciprocated, and that builds confidence. Try Online Dating If you're in your 50s, online dating might sound like a desperate move, but the stigma has completely gone out of it. More and more people meet this way. There are many online dating sites from which to choose, some specializing in ethnic or religious groups. Remember, you don't have to be looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. Right. You just need to be amenable to trying to have a fun night out. Remember in your new adventures to always be safe. It's prudent to meet people for the first time in a public place, for example. You might also want to let a friend know where and when you will be out, and call him or her when you get back. As long as you are taking care of yourself and allow yourself to enjoy new places and new company, dating doesn't have to be scary. It can be a fun, transformational part of your life as a single person.
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 Dennis Murphy 1946 - 2018 Dennis Murphy (BA 67), who played an integral role in advancing the reputation of Concordia’s Department of Communication Studies, passed away on November 20, 2018, in Montreal. He was 72. Are you engaged? Be inspired and plan an extraordinary destination wedding after you read this post!  Consider Travelling To Another Place To Have Your Wedding Congratulations on your engagement! We are sure that now you are officially engaged, you are about to start planning your wedding. It doesn’t matter what type of wedding you want to have, you might be thinking about traveling abroad to have your ceremony. If this is the case, then it is a good thing that you have come across this page because we are going to talk about some extraordinary places for you to have your wedding. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to look across the seas for your own wedding. Let’s take a look at some ideas. France Have you ever thought about having your wedding in Paris? The City of Love is a beautiful and romantic place for you to celebrate your wedding if you can manage this. There are lots of places and picturesque settings where you could enjoy your big day around Paris. If you go online, you will find a whole list of stunning destinations with gorgeous views that anyone would be lucky to see on their wedding day. Paris is not the only place that you can go for a beautiful wedding in France. You can go to Normandy where there are a variety of wedding venues on offer, or you could head over to Loire Valley. There really is a whole range of places to choose from in this wonderful country. Italy Whether you think of Venice or Rome when we say Italy, you are sure to find a beautiful location to host your wedding. Italy is a very popular destination when it comes to people deciding where to have their wedding, and this is for a good reason. There are so many beautiful fields, buildings and backdrops to choose from here, it hard to see why everyone doesn’t have their wedding here. One of the things that you can do here is head to the Amalfi Coast for your wedding. This stunning location provides exceptional views and would be the perfect backdrop for any wedding. Don’t forget to hire your Amalfi coast photographer though, you aren’t going to want to miss a single second, and if you have the photos, you don’t have to. Florida  A Disney Wedding Is the Ultimate For Any Disney Fan For Disney fanatics, you might want to consider heading over to Disney World. Their wedding pavilion rivals any other destination that you could think of if Disney is something that you are in love with. Imagine getting married in their beautiful Pavillion and then heading straight into the Magic Kingdom to celebrate your wedding day. For a true Disney fan, it really isn’t going to get any better than this. Disney offers a wedding package for those of you who are interested in something like this. If you go on their website, you will find more details about this including price and availability. We hope that our list of extraordinary places to have your wedding has inspired you to have your wedding abroad. It can be quite tough to manage sometimes, but the beautiful location is worth every second. Is it worth fixing a broken relationship? There are some specific things you need to know first. Read more in this contributed post.  Relationships Require Effort Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. Despite promising intentions at the start, when love rules and the other person is seen through rose-tinted glasses, there will be problems that set in. Petty arguments will arise. Resentments will surface. Habits will start to grate. And the once blossoming relationship may start to wilt. That's not the end of the relationship, of course. With effort, conversation, and the attempt to recapture the love that was present early on, a relationship can be solidified. It can be repaired before further damage sets in. However, if little effort is expended, on either side, then the relationship will start to suffer, and may eventually become broken. Where once there was love and friendship, there will now be animosity. And if this is compounded by certain behaviours such as unfaithfulness and abuse, then the relationship is probably over. So, is it worth trying to fix a broken relationship? Yes and no. The relationship may have to end if… - One or both people in the relationship is abusive to the other. - There is a lack of repentance about wrong behaviour. -Resentments continue to fester with no attempts to communicate them - One or both people continue to be unfaithful. - There are signs that there is no longer love in the relationship. Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it is the right thing to do, even in a marriage. Divorce firms, such as The Vendt Law Firm, are probably the best port of call. We say 'probably' because we don't want to talk about ending a relationship where there is still hope. However, sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that yes, the chances of the relationship recovering are slim to none. When the relationship is toxic because of yourself or that other person, then saying goodbye may be the answer. On the other hand, if there are signs that the relationship can be mended, then every effort needs to be taken. The relationship can be mended if… - Love hasn't gone away, and there is still a longing to be together. - Promises have been broken, but attempts have been made to repent and start again. - Previous hardships in the relationship have been overcome successfully. - It's difficult to imagine a life without the other person being present. - There is still genuine affection for the other person, despite the struggles. If any of the signs mentioned are still relevant, then there is still a chance. Love can overcome the obstacles in the way, provided both people in the relationship are willing to make the effort. With a desire to rekindle the love that may have faded, there is still hope. And where there is hope, there is a future. So, what about you? Are you reading this because you are in a struggling relationship? If there are still signs of love, don't give up just yet. Speak to a relationship counsellor if necessary, and work to get things back on track. On the other hand, if the relationship has become toxic and you identified with what we said earlier, then it may be time to call it quits. These aren't easy decisions to make, but we hope you find the right answer if you are currently in this difficult position. Let us know your thoughts on this difficult subject. Read these dating tips to help you get back into the world of dating in this informative contributed post.  Dating Doesn't Have To Be Scary Dating is tough, and if you're just getting back into it after being in a long-term relationship, it can be seriously daunting and downright scary at times. Not only do you feel like you're supposed to have all this behind you, but you may still be struggling with being single after the realization of your relationship not working actually sets in. Add to this all the new rules and trends in dating, plus the pressure that seems to be on people in the dating world, it can just all seem like too much and make you want to run and hide under your duvet. However, with this post, we want to offer some reassurance that dating, although it may take some awkward encounters, it doesn't have to be so scary, and nowadays with so many options available for finding love, then it can actually be quite fun and can lead you on some amazing adventures with people who you'd never have imagined you'd meet - as with everything it's all about the mindset you approach it with. So, to help you navigate the new dating world, we've offered up some hopefully useful tips that you can use on your search for love. Get Clear About What You Want And Don't Want: One of the biggest mistakes that people make with dating is that they approach it with no plan. They get on Google to find free gay chat lines or download the latest dating apps when feeling lonely, sad and frustrated with their lack of relationship, but they don't really take any time to sit back and consider what kind of relationship they'd like to have and what kind of person they'd like to meet. Making sure you do this will save you time and heartache down the road, but if you know what you're looking for and what you won't tolerate, then you're boosting your chances of finding a suitable match all the quicker. Spend Time On Your Profiles: One thing you'll find when you look on dating apps is that, although someone may look great, they've spent very little, or absolutely no time in creating their profile. Nowadays your profile is the first contact any potential suitors are going to have with you and if you want to have a date with someone, then make sure they don't just go after you for your looks, spend time on your profile and help them get to know a bit more about the real you. Start A Conversation: Again, a big problem with dating apps is the amount of people who just gather matches but don't reply to messages or even start a conversation. In order to increase your chances of finding love, you're going to have to put some effort into it and this involves actually talking to people. Be Yourself: It may sound awfully cliche, but a cliche is usually one because it's the truth. Yes, it's always good to put your best side forward on a first date and when getting to know someone, but this doesn't mean being fake. Be yourself if you want someone to like you for who you are. Read 4 easy ways to reconnect with estranged family in this contributed post. With the Christmas season being just around the corner, there really has never been a better time for you to reconnect with your family. If you find this difficult because your family is estranged or because you don’t talk anymore then you have nothing to worry about. There are things that you can do to try and bring everyone together again. Reach Out More than Once It’s so important that you reach out more than once. The main reason for this is because relationships can deteriorate over the years and this can be made worse by stubbornness and even lack of communication. You may feel as though you have been wronged by them, or vice versa. You may also be convinced that the other should be making the effort and this can make the situation even worse. If you want to avoid a communication deadlock, then you need to try and extend an olive branch more than once. Let your anger go, and really make the effort to try and see it from the other person’s point of view.  Reach Out More Than Once Give, or Ask for Forgiveness You need to be able to move past whatever happened. If you know that something is holding you back from meeting up with the other person, then you need to stop this from coming between you. Tell them that you forgive them, or admit to the mistakes that you may have made. This can be a fantastic way for you to build bridges and it can also be a great way for you to show that you are there for them. If you want to meet up with them then you may want to rent a house for a family reunion. Talk About It When you have come to the point where you can forgive the other person, or where they can forgive you, you then need to try and talk about what happened. You don’t need to ignore the elephant in the room. Instead, you need to chat about what went wrong and even talk about the way that it made you feel as well. It’s so important that you don’t argue here, and that you really put the work in to try and explain the actions that you took at the time. When you do this, you can then reach a higher level of understanding that could bring your family together again.  Plan Something Special Together Plan Something Special When you are on talking terms, plan something special. You could try and put the Christmas tree up together or you can even try and do something you always wanted to do when you were younger. This can help you to remember the good times and it can also help you to really make the most out of the time you have with one another. If you don’t feel like arranging something like this then consider spending some time with your family and crack open a good bottle of scotch. After all, times like this need to be celebrated and the sooner you are able to understand this, the better. Long Distance Relationships are not easy! Discover how to make your Long Distance Relationship work in this contributed post.  Long Distance Relationships Require Dedication From Both People Involved Thanks to social media, video calling, and mobile technology, it has never been easier to connect with people all over the world. That has made it easier than ever before to stay in close communication with someone you love who lives far away. While keeping in touch may be simpler than it used to be, that doesn't mean that long-distance relationships are any less stressful than they were prior to the rise of the digital age. It is not impossible to maintain a healthy relationship over some distance. However, it is very difficult and requires a lot of dedication from both parties involved. There's a Financial Cost to Long-Distance Love While you may no longer need to pay exorbitant long-distance phone call costs, there are still many expenses associated with a long-distance relationship. The primary one, of course, is travel. Whether you invest in your own transport, or choose to take a bus, a boat, or a plane, traveling frequently to see your significant other results in a lot of expenses. Additionally, you will likely incur other costs while visiting, as you will both want to make your trip special, especially if it's the first time you're meeting in person. Over the course of a year, a long-distance relationship can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to maintain, depending on where you live and how often you try to see each other. You'll also have to spend a lot of time sending texting, writing emails, video chatting, and otherwise communicating digitally with someone you wish you could see in person. It's important to be realistic about the amount of money and effort required to sustain a romantic bond in a long-distance relationship. If You Believe It's Worth the Cost, Then It is Love isn't rational. You can't control the fact that you have intense feelings for someone who lives far from you. If they return those feelings and you both agree that the effort of a long-distance relationship is worth it, then it can be worth a try. Do your best to avoid misunderstandings, discuss expectations about communication and fidelity, and prepare for some challenges along the way. When you really care about someone, even the stress of a long-distance relationship becomes worth it. Although there are a lot of costs involved, from the emotional toll of feeling lonely too the expenses involved in traveling to see one another, if you truly have strong feelings for the other person, it's worth the cost. Do you know how to keep the spark alive in your long-term relationship? Discover some great ideas in this contributed post. Being in a long-term relationship is wonderful. Not only do you get to go through new stages of life with your significant other, but you also become closer than others. However, long-term relationships tend to lose that fiery spark that might have been there in the beginning. This lack of excitement leads many couples to drift apart over time. If you want to avoid parting ways, you need to learn how to keep that spark alive in your long-term relationship. It’s easier than you think when you have a strong foundation. We all know how stressful the chaos of everyday life can be, and it’s understandable that you’ll stop focusing on your relationship. To make sure you stay connected with your partner, do these surprising things below that help strengthen your relationship.  Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship 1. Spend Time Apart One of the most surprising ways to strengthen your long-term relationship is to actually spend time apart. This doesn’t mean you need to take a break or separate. However, it doesn't mean getting to know who you are outside of your relationship with your partner. When we’re in long-term relationships, it’s easy to define ourselves based on our relationship with our partner. This isn’t healthy. You’re your own person with unique interests. Haven’t you ever heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” Well, it’s true. Don’t be afraid to develop your own interests and friend groups outside of your partner. Take a weekend to yourself to have fun with your friends. Take a new class by yourself. This alone time and time spent without your partner is vital to retaining who you are as an individual.  Plan A Date Night To Reconnect With Each Other 2. Try Something New Together Experiences form the backbone of strong relationships. When you’re doing the same things day in and day out, you start to lose focus. That spark you cherished early in your relationship fades fast. Make it a priority to try new things together regularly. Maybe you try a new restaurant every month or you go on weekend trips to new parts of the world. You might even try new lingerie, sexy costumes & more in the bedroom. All of these things bring you together over a shared experience. 3. Date Each Other Dating isn’t just for the first few months when you’re getting to know your partner. You can date your long-time partner or even your spouse. In fact, this is essential to keeping your relationship alive. What is a date? It’s time when you just focus on each other and nothing else. In the early stages of your relationship, this was when you got to know each other. Now that you’ve been dating for a while (or years!), you can use this time to reconnect. Leave the worries and stress at home and just talk to each other. You can talk about new things at work, your hobbies, or even your own kids at home. No matter what you talk about, treat this the same as you would a second or third date. You get to date your best friend! What could be better?  Travel Together To Experience Something New Together 4. Travel Together Traveling is the test of any relationship, long-term or short-term. When you travel, you’re forced into uncomfortable situations. Things are no longer in your control. Maybe your flight is delayed or you get lost in a new city. These stressful situations bring out true colors—for better or for worse. How well do you know your partner? The best way to find out is to take them with you somewhere new. You’ll quickly learn how they act at their best and at their worst. While this can strain a failing relationship, it can also strengthen the best relationships. Being in a long-term relationship is something to celebrate. Not many couples make it this far, so it’s clear you have something special worth savoring. The best way to strengthen your relationship is with these steps above, no matter how strange they might seem. There are many factors to consider when deciding to live together with someone, Do you know what they are? Read this contributed post to find out more.  There Are Factors To Consider When Deciding To Move In Together The title of this article sounds judgemental, but it’s really not. Asking yourself this question is absolutely a necessity no matter how in love or well supported you are with your lover. Of course, there are some circumstances where moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend might be a no-brainer, depending on your current situation. For example, you might decide that since you have a child on the way, it’s best to set up that personal family home in a secure, stable manner, and really try to make a go of things. Many people have done this, and many people have succeeded in crafting a beautiful family home, even though it perhaps wasn’t as planned as it could have been. But of course, this is a highly specific circumstance, and it may or may not apply to you. If you can, it’s always best to consider deeply when the potential of moving in together comes up. If you manage to simply take the time to consider your position, you can either move forward with your plans enjoying greater confidence or potentially avoid a mistake until you once again consider it. Consider our simple list of advice to try and decide whether or not this is a good personal decision to make: Financial Handling What is the financial history and handling like within your relationship? How has this been in the past? Perhaps a stumble here or there isn’t too worrying as we all experience problems from time to time. However, if your other half has been evicted at any time in the last five to ten years, or if they regularly overspend or miss their rental payments, there is no way that tying your financial history to this person is worthwhile. If you are the person without this sense of financial reliability, it might be that you’re going to struggle to do so in a relationship. Couples often spend MORE when together, not less, and it’s often easy for bad habits to become twice as echoed if you both share them. It might even be that you only have a middling lack of financial handling in the recent past, but if your other half hasn’t challenged you on this (especially if you’re close enough to consider moving in together,) it might be that they aren’t quite the fundamental rock you expect them to be to help you manage your spending issues, nor should you expect them to be. Financial untying yourself from someone else and vice-versa, especially when two names are on a lease or two contracts become one can become messy if the agreement dissolves. If you’ve ever seen Judge Judy, you’ll know that lawsuits between jaded ex-lovers who moved in together two quickly and shared each and every asset they owned is perhaps 90% of the lawsuits brought to the Judges panel. It’s neither smart, romantic or clever to throw away your potential financial security to proceed with moving in. You can live semi-permanently with someone without having to tie yourselves together on one lease, or moving together in an apartment signed by both of you. Of course, if you both have good credit, a history of on-time and well planned financial decisions, and you trust the other person, you can progress with greater confidence. We’d recommend knowing the person and their financial behaviours for at least two years before moving in, although more is often better. Once taking the decision to move forward, take another six months to verify everything financially, assessing and reassessing your eligibility for this life situation. Just like the waiting period after deciding on a tattoo design, time can often bring a refreshed sense of clarity in the long-term if we give ourselves enough time. Relationship Stability Of course, financial stability is one thing, but it’s nothing without the emotional glue that holds a relationship together. Young couples often think that love will last forever, but often it’s maturity that tempers the fires of love and helps retain that sense of rationality at the end of the day, even through tumultuous times. If your relationship often falls into an on-off form of connectivity, then perhaps fusing yourselves together with the financial responsibility of a home is not quite the best idea, even if focusing on a humble apartment at this stage. It does seem to be somewhat of a cultural attitude that most couples fight and go through long, down periods, but that’s not true at all. Small grievances and annoyances are normal, but they must be talked through. If yourself and your partner have large blowouts, even one a year, it’s a sign that the relationship might not deal with the strain of maintaining and sustaining the funding of a household, no matter how humble. It’s easy to see that having a child to ‘fix’ a relationship is an absurdly stupid move for most people, but moving in together can be nearly as toxic for both involved. If you haven’t had an argument or large disagreement in your relationship you haven’t worked through immediately, and you trust each other even in the harder times, it might be that you are suitable to consider this step more appropriately. Emotions vs. Cold Hard Logic While young love or even mature love can feel like a river of emotions you love to become swept in, this is never the right time to make life decisions that can impact you both. This isn’t to say you need to feel completely detached and mechanical in your decisions for the future, but you do need to temper the positives of your relationships with the worries of the future if you hope to make a good decision. It also cannot be done out of a sense of hurried pacing. A good analogy is to imagine what you’re like when taking care of your weekly grocery purchases. If you head to the store while hungry, it’s likely you’ll purchase much more than you need. There are clinical studies performed that prove this resoundingly well, but the common sense of this situation is hard to argue in the first place. Consider how this might apply to your current situation, and you’ll have a good idea of what we mean. Appropriate Plans Considering the appropriate plan can be worthwhile for now. HDB flats for couples are often the best starting, stepping stone on your path to joining the property market together. It’s best to stay humble. If you can both stay aware of your responsibilities and can temper your expectations to begin with, it might be that drawing up a long-term plan could be very appropriate to do. Start small. Appreciate what you have. Focus on working together to better your career and financial situations instead of spending on the highest and most comforting residence you can right now. When pooling an income you may be able to achieve something nicer than you would have solo in the first place. Of course, a couple will only need one bed, so it might be that someone moving into the other’s apartment could be a better and cheaper alternative than to simply find a new place together. Consider compromise. How might both you working commutes be affected? Did you want to live abroad for a certain amount of years? Where are both of your families? Do you have anyone else aside from the relationship participants to turn to for help if you’re struggling a little? Drawing up a set of rough plans of what life will be like on a daily, practical level can help you understand that which you’re getting involved in, giving you the red, amber or green lights to either stop, stay cautious and patient, or proceed with your decision. When contextualized like this, it’s often easy for couples to retain a sense of rationality about their potential timeline of moving, and that’s only ever a good thing. With these tips, you’re sure to enjoy a more informed decision, no matter your final analysis. Money saving tips to help you plan your dream wedding while sticking to your budget are explored in this contributed post.  Plan Your Wedding Budget To Avoid Overspending Let's face it, when it comes to getting married, there is so much that goes on in order to make the day a perfect one - one from your dreams and fantasies. Now to ensure the day lives up to those expectations, there is a lot that needs to be done which all adds up financially until you're left with an overall price that means no holidays for at least three years. It's painful to think about the costs, and yet that's what planning a wedding consists of, and a lot of people overlook it because it is only one day. Having said that though, there's no reason to go overboard if you really don't have to. That doesn't mean necessarily missing out on things, it's just delving a little deeper to get the best prices. Here are some ideas to get you thinking. The budget First of all, you absolutely need to make a budget so you know what you have to work with. Traditionally it's known for the Father to pay, but it doesn't always work out this way anymore - people have become a lot more independent which is great, although it may change the overall budget. The tip to keeping within the budget - it only looking at things within your price range. For example, when looking for a dress, or a tux, the worst thing you can do is go in and find 'the one', only to realise it's over double your price limit. This is both soul destroying and exasperating, so don't put yourself in this kind of situation to begin with. A friend If you have a good friend or family member that you trust with your life, then assign them a job that you would normally pay someone to do. Like a wedding planner. These are pretty pricey services, and are also rather unnecessary if you have other helping hands available. Of course, don't give a job to someone that you know will be incapable otherwise it may all end in tears. But if you have a budding photographer that loves to snap, then add them to your photography team. You could even get them stuck in to a wedding photography workshop so they know exactly how to ace it. A discount Always be on the lookout for discounts. One of your best friends throughout your wedding planning, will be the internet. You can find anything there, and there are even comparison sites that will compare prices on things like venues, flower arrangements, and even catering. So never settle if you're unhappy, there is always a second cheaper option. Keep your eye out for sales that happen during certain months if you book them for a specific time too. And be sure to ask your circle of people about any recommendations they have, as you may just get some money knocked off because of the referral. So as you can see, sticking to a budget doesn't affect the day as much as you may have imagined. |
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ABOUT FRANKFrank Kermit MA, is an expert Relationship & Dating Coach with 15+ years of experience. He is an author of original content books, eBooks and audio products. he has written many publications online and in print. He is frequently asked to be a guest speaker for media and events. MEDIA APPEARANCE **** TBA 
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