Are you tired of being on the singles train? Read 5 great tips to help you find the partner you desire.
Are you forever standing alone on the (figurative) platform while all around you, other people are holding hands, embracing one another, and gazing at each other with nothing but love?
Do you feel as if you are on the track to a life alone instead of a life with another?
We have some advice in this article if so, as you don't have to resign yourself to a one-way journey to singledom forever.
Consider the following suggestions, and let them lead you to more dates, the possibility of romance, and ultimately, the final destination that is marriage (if that is what you are looking for).
#1: Give online dating a go
Chances are, you have probably tried online dating already. Especially if you are living a busy lifestyle, or if you are uncomfortable mingling with others in bars and clubs, online dating is a relatively easy way to see who is out there. From websites such as Match.com and Elite Singles to dating apps such as Tinder and OkCupid, there are all kinds of online avenues to explore. So, if you haven't already done so, give it a go and use these profile tips to give you greater opportunities for success when registering with a site or app online. And if you are already online, but haven't had a lot of success thus far, you might also use the linked tips to improve your online profile.
#2: Be courageous and talk to people
Sometimes, you need to instigate a connection with another person. This can be done online, but remember too that you are surrounded by people on a daily basis. It could be somebody sitting opposite you on your train journey to work. It could be a colleague sitting in the next cubicle to you at the office. And it might be somebody browsing the books you like when you're next at your local bookstore. Rather than staying silent, and wishing you had the courage to open your mouth to the people you find attractive, actually say something. Just say hello, or ask them how their day is going. Should they reply, a conversation might start to flow, and while it might lead nowhere, it might also open up opportunities for further things.
So, think about the people you might already know or see regularly and plan to speak to them the next time you're around them. Perhaps role-play conversations with a trusted friend if you lack confidence in what to say, and consider using mobile chat lines to hone your communication skills with others. Of course, with this latter idea, you might use also chat lines to find romance too, so check out the previous link for some useful tips.
#3: Attend local Meetup groups
Not only are local Meetup groups a great way to meet new people, but they also afford you the opportunity to meet the people who are into the same hobbies as you are. And by having common interests, you shouldn't have too much difficulty instigating and having conversations with others, as you should both have much to talk about. Visit Meetup.com for local hobby groups in your area, or use the platform to start a group of your own.
#4: Let other people play matchmaker
Think about the people who know you the best, and ask them to recommend or introduce you to other people they know who might be a good fit for you. And to make life easier for you, perhaps ask your friends or family members to invite you both to a social gathering where you will be able to meet and talk to each other in a natural and easy-going setting. You might then hit it off with that other person and arrange a time to spend more time together away from the company of others.
#5: Find other ways to meet people with shared interests
If you have a particular passion for a local cause, you might want to volunteer at a charity group near you. If you are a fan of a particular movie, TV show, or music group, you might want to visit the appropriate fan conventions. And if you have always wanted to go back to school to learn something new, you might want to register for courses at a college near you. These are just some of the ways to be with people who have similar interests to you, and these are just some of the places where you might then find the courage to talk to the people you find interesting and attractive.
So, what do you think? Are these ideas useful to you? By following our suggestions, you might finally have the opportunity to hop off the singles train and into the arms of somebody new. And hey, even if you don't, you might still make new friends, and they could lead you into the path of the person who could be 'the one' for you.
Do you have a fetish that you would like to explore? Read more about fetishes in this post.
For many people, fetishes aren’t really something you should mention. At least not aloud and not in public. They are still considered to be taboo in our society, and this can make many people who have them feel alienated and ashamed. In reality, having a kink is not as uncommon as it may seem at first. And you can find more and more people who are open about their fantasies. Especially in big cities, you can find agencies like London Privé escort agency. It is no longer something that shouldn’t be talked about. But the fact is that it used to be a taboo subject for so long that many people don’t really know what exactly fetishes are and what to think about them.
Are fetishes bad for you?
It’s important to note that fetishes aren’t considered as something bad for you or a disorder. Quite the opposite, if you find a partner who shares your fantasies, or at least is willing to take part in them, your relationship can become a lot better. As long as everyone involved is happy with it, there’s no reason to worry or feel ashamed. However, you have to be aware that in extreme situations having a fetish can turn into a problem. If you notice your behaviour is becoming compulsive and you start losing control over it, it may be a sign things are going too far, and consulting a specialist may be a good idea.
The point is that we don’t really know what causes some people to have a fetish while others don’t have any. And there’s no simple explanation that the experts are willing to agree on. Some point to traumatic childhood experiences, while others say that you can develop a fascination with something when you start to connect the pleasure you feel with the presence of a specific stimulus.
Most common fetishes
The most common fetish is probably the one involving feet, and there’s a lot of people admitting that they find feet to be very attractive. But fetishes can involve other body parts and features as well. Or even objects or clothes. It can be anything like high heels and lingerie, but it can also be more specific and centered around a specific material, for example, leather. Then there are people who get turned on by certain types of activities like bondage or voyeurism. You may even be able to find male and female escorts in London who will be able to help you explore your kinks. Of course, it’s also possible that hiring an escort is one of your fantasies as well.
Among the most common fetishes, you’ll find those that involve:
Turn your fantasies into reality
Trust is important in any relationship. Some would even argue that it’s the most important thing. So if you have a fetish, you shouldn’t be afraid of sharing it with your partner. It may be a terrifying prospect, but hiding things and worrying about them can affect your relationship negatively over time. People are a lot more accepting than we tend to give them credit for. Plus, there’s a chance your partner won’t mind adding your fetish to your sex life. But even if you currently don’t have anyone else in your life, that doesn’t mean you can’t bring your fantasies to life. For example, if you’re in London, you can look for female escort agency London who provide services related to fetishes.
Hiding your desires and feeling ashamed of them can affect your mental state. Such negative emotions can be very harmful, so you should come to terms with your fetishes. But the most important thing you have to remember about when it comes to fetishes is to only get involved in situations that are consensual and comfortable for everyone.
Read 5 confidence building tips to help you boost your confidence in no time at all!
Sometimes our confidence levels can take a bit of a knock. It might be in the workplace, at home or in a relationship. When confidence is at its lowest, it can often have you feeling down and even feeling symptoms of low mood and anxiety as you start to question your actions and life choices. Sometimes we don’t even realise that our confidence has taken a knock, and this can start to have a negative impact on our lifestyles.
However, confidence is one of those things that is taught and isn’t a natural aspect of who you are. We have to realise that we can always build ourselves back up, whether that means feeling confident in the workplace or generally making more positive choices in our life that can give us the push to move forward. So if you feel that your confidence is at an all time low then don’t despair, try these techniques that could have you boosting your confidence in no time at all.
It is all in the mind
When it comes to confidence, it is important to understand that a lot of what you feel is in your mind. You are controlling your thoughts and therefore if you feel anxious and unconfident then what you are thinking is playing a vital role in that. Switch the thought process around and start thinking positive and confident. Even if it does feel like you are faking it. It can make a world of difference to how you act and eventually you will believe in yourself more and have the confidence. What we feel can be portrayed into thoughts, what we think can then be turned into actions, so it is important to start managing your emotions and feelings from wishing, which in turn can help you to change your mindset. It is time to think about what you want to feel and not be controlled by it.
Think about what you wear
When it comes to the clothes you wear, think about how you wear them and dress to your body shape but also dress for the occasion. You may be surprised to read that actually having clothes that not only enable you to suit your personality, but also work within the environment, can give you a huge boost in your confidence. This is especially important if you have a particular routine and a certain type of attire to wear each day, such as heading to work. Take a high powered sales job,for example, you may want to look into wearing custom high end mens suits so that you feel able to approach the situation. This can then give you confidence because you know that you look the part. Feeling good in the clothes that you're in can instantly lift your confidence levels.
Put on a happy face
It may sound very simple but just put on your happy face and smile. Smiling can work wonders for your confidence and as you smile out and about you will begin to notice that the world will smile along with you. This can then help you to feel better about life and change your outlook from a negative one into a positive one. Sometimes this simple action can actually be one of the hardest things to do each day, so it is understandable that if at first you start to struggle with the mentality of just smiling. Even when you feel scared, anxious and afraid to do so. However, it is all to do with mindset, and the action can help turn a negative situation into a positive. Faking it until it starts to feel more natural.
Take better care of yourself
Sometimes it can mean that your just need to take better care of yourself when it comes to your appearance and also how you feel. From exercising more regularly and eating the right things, to getting a good night's sleep and spending tie with people that make you feel good rather than bring you down.
Celebrate the victories and small wins
Finally, don’t forget to celebrate the victories and the small wins that you will have daily. It may sound crazy, but celebrating the fact that you did well in something can boost your confidence to feel better about life in general. The small win might just be getting through a hard day at work, walking somewhere or completing a project on time, but they are your victories to celebrate. Being your own champion can really help boost confidence levels.
Let’s hope that these tips help you to start boosting your confidence levels.
How valid is your friends breakup advice? Reading this informative post might help you decide.
When you’re struggling and seek help, it’s not uncommon that your friends will want to help you out. This is because they can empathize with you, or perhaps you have filled the same role in their life before. However, just because someone is your friend, it does not mean that they have the best advice to hand in order to help you the most profoundly. They have great intentions, but they may not be completely aware of the situation, or may have bad ideas themselves.
Dispelling certain myths within bad breakup advice might be needed. If you’re here after hearing something similar to this from one of your friends and you want to check just how valid it is, then you’re in the right place. Breakups are never easy. They’re difficult, they can be completely disorienting, but most of all, they can also be quite boring.
To help you with this, we hope our following advice can help you break up said myths and revert back to your best self. You deserve it:
‘Rampant Intimacy Will Help You Get Over Them’
There are many measures to get over someone. Your friend might suggest that the best method regarding how to get over a girl is to simply by ‘getting under’ someone else. Of course, if you are out of a relationship, you should be free to express your intimate desires in a manner that is enclosed by consent from both parties. However, if you feel as though this is the only way to tend to your emotional wounds, then you’d be wrong and misled. It’s important to note that while this may help, it may not, it depends entirely on how you proceed and where you are at in your stage of recovery.
Do not force yourself to do this if it’s not something you feel comfortable with, or if you’d really rather not. Rampant intimacy might work for some people, but it will hardly take your mind off what happened, and can often simply become an unhealthy coping strategy to try and shield yourself from further pain. It is not difficult to see just how that can be unhealthy and often make things worse.
‘You Need To Be Social 24/7’
When a friend wants you to come out with them every day after a break up, they are caring for you. They do not want to see you laying in bed until 4pm, eating ice cream, crying, and watching Netflix shows. But it’s also important that if you’re really not up to it, you do not feel completely obligated to socialize at all costs. Everyone processes the loss of a relative in different ways, and yes, you will be wounded after it happens. In fact, research has shown that mimicking effects similar to that created by physical pain is seen in the brain during heartache. If you had injured your leg, your friend would not be dragging you out to Five Guys. Instead, they’d let you heal.
While it’s important to be around other people, it’s also important to give yourself some time to process this alone. Do not think this makes you weak. However, do not cut anyone off. It’s this careful timeline that can allow you to grow back into yourself in the best manner possible, as you will not be forced in either direction.
‘You Need To Talk It All Through Now’
You may feel that talking through your problems with clear communication is the best way to start overcoming an issue. If you have that impression, you’re likely wiser than you think. Talking therapy with someone who understands or isn’t there to judge can be a fantastic means of letting out what’s harming you emotionally, and it can work wonders for your soul.
A friend might also know this, and they may wish for you to discuss it right now. They may think that spilling it all out in the moment can be healthy, because perhaps this method worked for them in the past. However, it’s important to note that you are not your friend, and so you might not even know how you feel right now aside from being dazed after the breakup. It’s okay not to have all the answers in the heat of the moment. In fact, giving yourself some time to process this before you decide to talk can be very healthy. A good friend will understand your need for this.
‘Lose Yourself In Self-Improvement’
When you break up with someone, you feel that you are not good enough. Why would this have happened otherwise, you may think. Additionally, the harmful nature of a couple splitting up can sometimes mean your ex-partner decides to insult you or press the buttons they know you are vulnerable to. This can lead you feeling a huge drop in self-confidence, feeling as though you cannot keep anyone or that you have something fundamentally wrong with you.
The first mistake is to accept this set of attitudes. The second mistake is to overcompensate for it. You may dive back to the gym to work out and process your pain through physical suffering, running harder than you ever have, trying to meditate for two hours each date, or lifting weights with enough frequency to bring the overtraining issue to full light. Losing yourself in self-improvement can be a very harmful thing when this happens, because it’s not being done for the right reasons.
By all means attend the gym with your friend. It can really help. But do not overcompensate. Do it for health and nothing else. Do it to stimulate your mind. Keep yourself active and healthy. These are positive steps. But beware that little voice that might wish to make this a crutch in an unhealthy manner, because in a healthy pursuit this will be the best crutch you have in the first place.
With this advice, you’re certain to dispel certain myths that might come to you. However, if you have a friend willing to help and remain at your side, you have plenty to be grateful for.
Looking for relationship advice? Consider all of your options before you move forward. Read this post to discover some pros and cons to asking for help.
When you’re in a rut, there’s a temptation to look to others for advice. People who have been through the same thing and have relationship experience can enlighten you on how to proceed. Of course, asking others for help is also very dangerous. There is no way to tell if their words are helpful or harmful until you’ve put them into practice, and then it might be too late. You need to find the perfect balance between making your own decisions and following the path well-trodden, and the best way to understand the pros and cons.
Here are two each to consider when you start experiencing relationship troubles.
Pro: They Can Empathize
A shoulder to cry on is always a nice feeling because it’s healthy to vent. However, couples who have been through the same thing can empathize, and that’s worth its weight in gold. Sometimes, there are generic things you need to do to get your relationship back on track, and they can talk you through them. Plus, there will be caveats that they figured out along the way which should come in handy. Without the need to stumble through in the dark and grope around, you can avoid saying and doing irreparable things.
Con: People Aren’t Transparent
Sadly, too many couples like to show off and make out as if they are the gold standard of love when they are in as much trouble. They shouldn’t throw stones from their glasshouse, yet they do - stones of hypocritical love. And, they do this while attending marriage counseling classes and trying to repair their damaged relationship. There is nothing wrong with giving advice, but it should be truthful and in the proper context. Otherwise, you might make the same mistake and end up in the same boat on a very dodgy looking creek.
Pro: They Want The Best For You
Often, the people we turn to for advice are the ones we love. It’s not like you’re going to stop a stranger on the street and ask their opinion. As a result, you know that everything you hear comes from the heart. They love you and want to help you be happy, which is why there is nothing untoward. Thinking with your head is the best policy, yet, sometimes, the heart has to rule over everything. To see it in real-time might inspire an epiphany which goes on to save your relationship.
Con: They’re Not Experts
The flip side of the coin is this: they amateurs. Sure, they’ve been in a successful relationship for years, but they have never stopped to analyze it. As a result, they don’t know the forensic details like a marriage counselor with qualifications and years of experience. A piece of good advice is only helpful when the process is on point as you might try and apply it to areas of your relationship where it isn’t applicable.
Listening to advice from others is comforting because it proves you’re not alone. Still, it’s essential to understand the limits of your confiders and seek professional help too.
Read this contributed post to discover ways you can add some spice to your marriage!
We all know how it is. When you begin dating, you are all too familiar with those feelings of butterflies in your stomach and when you see each other, you just can’t wait to get your hands all over one another.
But as time goes on, you become more used to each other, and though your love it still deep, the spark just seems to be gone. So, what to you do to spice things up? Here are a few ideas.
When you were young, the two of you went out together often. But now, there barely seems to be time for you to get together. And even if there is time, you have to think about getting baby sitters for the kids and the expense of treating yourselves to a restaurant or movie.
Well, for the sake of your marriage, it may be time to throw practicality out the door. Even taking some time out to take a walk in the park or sit on the hood of your car watching the stars can be a great way for the two of you to rekindle that old flame. And no matter how much money you may spend…it’s still a lot cheaper than a divorce!
Bring Sexy Back
When marriages start to become ho-hum, one of the first places couples will feel it is in the bedroom. Limited time and having the kids around makes it hard for you to find the time to be intimate, and as you have grown used to each other, the spark just seems to be gone.
Well, there are little things you can do to bring that spark back. Send each other sexy texts during the day. Take time out to look attractive. Take little moments to whisper in each other’s ears. Touch each other often. Go shopping together for sexy toys and lingerie. Try something new in the bedroom.
These are all things you can do to bring sex back on the mind to ensure that you both make it a priority in your marriage.
After you are married for a while, anniversaries can start to seem ho-hum. Many couples barely acknowledge these milestones while others forget about them entirely.
This year, when your anniversary is a few months away, start thinking of planning something big. A vacation or a night on the town can be great ways to celebrate, but throwing a big party with family and friends will surely bring some of the excitement back.
Anniversary parties can be small cocktail affairs or big ragers so decide which direction you want to take it in. But whatever you do, be sure to hire a band that can provide the right mood. There are many cover bands who can do anything from sultry jazz standards to rock and pop hits assuring they will be right for any type of event.
A band is sure to get you and your husband, along with your guests, on the dance floor for slow, romantic numbers as well as upbeat, energetic tunes.
Don’t Forget the Small Stuff
Lastly, don’t forget to be kind to each other. Little gestures of kindness, like turning down the bed, helping each other around the house, or just saying thank you can go a long way in letting your spouse know they are still loved and appreciated.
The flame of many marriages can fizzle as the years go on, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep your love going strong. Take time out to be with your spouse, keep things sexy, celebrate your love and show each other you care and you are sure to have a marriage that will stand up to the test of time.
Explore some ideas on how the right decor can make your summer wedding unforgettable.
Summer weddings are so popular that many people find themselves getting ready for wedding season at some point in their lives. With so many summer weddings, making yours memorable might seem like a difficult feat. One thing to focus on might be summer decor, but there are many ideas you can consider to make your summer wedding unforgettable.
You don't have to be on the beach to have a wedding with a beach theme. Even if your wedding is mostly indoors, you could still create a summer atmosphere. You could do anything from a lounge area with deckchairs to bottles of colored sand decorating your tables or a seashell motif. Think of natural and earthy tones, combining sandy colors with blues and greens.
Set Up Some Evening Lights
The longer days of summer and warmer weather are perfect for partying into the night at your wedding. But when the sun does start to go down, make sure you have plenty of lighting. It's a great opportunity to set up some beautiful lights, from strings of fairy lights to candles and lanterns. Just be careful with any open flames.
Get to Know Summer Flowers
Your choice of flowers can be a big part of your wedding. Choosing seasonal flowers helps you develop a theme, and it's better for the environment too. Get to know your choice of summer flowers by looking at the infographic below, which takes you through some of the most important things that you need to know.
Infographic Design By Claddagh Rings
Explore 6 essential tips for dating in your 30s in this informative post.
Dating in your twenties is completely different from dating in your thirties. When you’re a twenty-something-year-old, the dating game is all about meeting new people and having fun. You’re not necessarily looking for something serious, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t. When you hit thirty, however, everything changes. You start wanting to settle down and maybe even start a family sometime soon. With that in mind, here are six essential tips for dating in your thirties.
Know What You Want
When you’re young, you tend to focus on style more than substance. You look for partners who can show you a good time, instead of people you can take to meet the family. Although it’s still important that you have fun in your relationship, you need to think a little deeper. If you want kids, for example, a new partner should too. You will also need to decide what your deal breakers are.
Try A New Approach
Although it does happen now and then, the person of your dreams is unlikely to just fall into your lap. This means you need to stop waiting for them to. Take action by setting up online dating profiles and visiting the Free Chat Lines website. You can also attend singles events and join social groups. You have to work for what you want in life, and that includes a life partner.
Let The Past Go
Anyone single in their thirties must have faced some heartbreak over the years. Sometimes this means death, other times its divorce, and it can be both too. We all have skeletons in our closets, but a first date is not the time to be airing them. You will discuss the past with your new partner eventually, but, until you get to that point in your relationship, you should enjoy right now.
Focus On Having Fun
Once you’ve reached a certain age, you often get caught up in thinking about the things you’re yet to do. You might not have had kids yet, got married, or even met the person you want to do those things with. This can create a sense of urgency that puts pressure on every encounter you have. However, relationships are meant to be fun, so try to forget about that other stuff for now.
Ditch All The Rules
Everyone knows the basic rules of dating. You don’t make the first move, you wait at least three days to call, and you never kiss before the second date. The trouble is, these rules often get in the way of finding meaningful connections. For this reason, you should throw them all out the window and do what you feel is right. Just make sure the other person is happy with that too.
Let Yourself Walk Away
Waiting for the perfect partner is a huge mistake. After all, we’re all imperfect in one way or another. However, that doesn’t mean that you should settle for whoever comes into your life first. If you don’t see a future with someone you’re dating, then allow yourself to walk away. Life is just too short to waste on someone that doesn’t make you happy.
Dating is tricky, especially in your thirties, but, hopefully, the advice above makes it a little easier for you.
5 places to meet senior singles are explored in this contributed post.
Our society binds us with some tricky and notorious repercussions. All we hear about how to behave in a certain way and not to be off track of conventional and archaic social methods. But from the early part of human society, many love stories have grown or we can safely say that they have destroyed our so-called native ways. No matter what, love is eternally young. You fall for it once in your life no matter how much you have prepared yourself for it or against it.
While in later stages of life, it may seem a bit difficult to fall in love rather find a potent partner for yourself. When you become older, you might want to feel settled in your life instead of getting adventurous. Divorcee or not, in later stages everyone wants someone in their life who would care for them, make them feel warm, be there for literally no reason. But finding someone or 'the special one' is not an easy task whatever your age may be but it can be done with some measured effort. Some of the following may woo you to some extent and can allure you to try at least once in a while.
Apparently, most people tend to be more absolved from work in later stages of life than in early parts. Maybe that's why it is not that bad a reason to be involved in many separate community events in your senior years. There is no shortage of need for willing volunteers in today's chaotic social world. You can contribute in many ways. Any educational institutions would love to get you for your many experienced years. You can certainly take part in numerous NGO activities to make many human lives bit easier. Or rather you can be a yoga trainer or a salsa trainee. Simply you can just go out there and have fun and in the process, you might find yourself lucky enough.
Undoubtedly, a divine method to spend some sheer quality time and if you're taking the trip with your senior club then it would just the icing on the cake. Moreover, if the trip consists only single members then certainly you can fish for your prolonged romantic partner.
Online dating service
A must to have at a dig. DoULikeSenior is a vast pool of potent candidates waiting to be matched. You can definitely look through a profile of your choice and prepare yourself beforehand for the upcoming compatibility issues which you may have been wrongly done in the past and can be intimate and romantically involved with your preferred partner.
A lovely idea to utilize your extra time to help and heal others. There are a number of communities where you can enlist yourself willingly and they can put in touch with similar aged members who care for like you do. So, this is maybe just the foundation you and your would-be partner will cognate greatly for a fact.
Senior fitness class
Fitness training is a lot more fun when you are accompanied. Also, at this age, you should try to stay as much fit you can afford. Let us hope, there is another person who hopes just the same and bingo! you're in luck. After that, if you find one of your likings, you may be just sweat out together and it can lead to many fortunate possible futures.
Afterwards, be sure to make your partner feel special in a way which they never have experienced. Be romantic, be lively, be in love, because life is short. Above all, be true to yourself and your partner.
Breaking up doesn't have to break you!
Learn 7 tips to help you rebuild your confidence after a break up.
The breakdown of a long-term relationship is never pleasant. Some relationships have a better ending than others, with agreement, mature decision making and amicable reasoning. Perhaps even lasting friendships. While others are messy. There’s arguments, custody battles, disagreements over money, property and possessions. Of course, there are also breakups that aren’t mutual. Where one part is shocked and considerably more hurt than the other.
However your relationship has ended; it’s a significant change. You have to get used to living your life without that person by your side. You might have to learn how to do things for yourself, and simply how to be alone. A messy breakup might also mean that you are dealing with feelings of hurt and anger. The emotions that we go through during a breakup are very similar to those of grief, and why shouldn’t they be? A part of your life is over, and it very much feels like something has died.
This can have a huge effect on your confidence, which can be even worse If you’ve been dumped. Feeling lost, and like you don’t know how to live alone can be terrible for your self-esteem. But, it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing to stop you coming out of a relationship strong, confident and eager to meet new challenges. Here are some tips to help you rebuild your confidence.
Get the Hard Stuff Out of the Way
Part of why breakups are so upsetting isn’t the breakup itself but all of the things that come with it. Hunter Perret talks about the difficulties of telling parents and in-laws. You might have to break the news to friends and even children. You might have to have difficult conversations about legal proceedings, dividing assets and other practicalities of moving on.
It can be tempting to put these problematic tasks off until you are feeling better. But, you’ll struggle to do that while they are hanging over you. Looming as something that needs to be done. Generally, the anxiety that we feel before we do something unpleasant is worse than actually doing it. So, make a list of what needs to be done and get on with it. Only then will you be free to heel and move forward.
Get Out of Bed
You might feel as though all you can do is hide under your duvet and cry, which once or twice is fine. A good cry can help you to exorcise some of your emotions and start to process. But, at some point, you need to draw a line under your wallowing and get out of bed. Set an alarm and leave your phone in another room so that you have to get up to turn it off. Then, start your day. Go to work if you need to. If not, head to the gym or into town for lunch. Getting out and about can be a huge mood boost, even if you have to force yourself to do it.
When you’ve been hurt by someone you love, you need a little TLC. Your friends and family might offer comfort and support, but if you want a confidence boost on top, spoiling yourself can be the answer. Treat yourself to some new clothes or a fancy lunch. Book an appointment at the salon or get a massage. Just spend some time watching your favorite TV show with snacks and drinks if that’s what makes you feel good.
Exercise is probably one of the best confidence boosts going. It helps you to feel as though you are taking control and doing something good for yourself. While also releasing serotonin and adrenaline which will improve your mood. Go for a run, head to the gym, take a class or just start going for walks once a day and you’ll soon start to feel good about yourself.
Take Care of Yourself
When you’re sad, it’s only too easy to neglect your needs. Are you eating well, getting plenty of sleep and spending time with your loved ones? If your relationship has been on the rocks for a while, it’s possible that your needs have been neglected for a long time. Start taking care of yourself, giving your body and mind what they need to stay healthy.
Find Out Who Single You Is
You won’t be the same person as you were when you first met your partner, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. But, you might not be who you were when you were with them either. Our hobbies and interests often change to fit with each other. So, take some time to learn more about who you are on your own. Try new hobbies, watch new TV shows, make new friends and think about what you enjoy doing.
Make a Plan
Making plans for your future can help you to see that you’ve got one. Plan a holiday, or write a list of places that you’d like to visit in the future. Set yourself fitness goals, or even book a big event like a race so that you’ve got something to build towards. It could also be a great time to tackle some jobs around the house, or even take on a big move. Start some DIY, and redecorating, to turn your home into your own.
It’s also a great time to focus on your career. Sit down with your manager, or set yourself some goals going forward. You might even want to make a five-year plan, or start planning something big like a career change or starting your own business.
While all of these things will help you to grow, and to become more confident, that doesn’t mean that you have to feel better straight away. Grieving for a relationship is ok. It’s alright to be sad, and it’s absolutely fine to have setbacks and sad days even when you are starting to feel better. Rebuild your confidence and find ways to help yourself to feel better, but don’t put pressure on yourself. If you feel sad, let yourself be sad. Just don’t let these negative feelings take over your life.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes