Attention: Smart Guys Who Are Sick And Tired Of Flakey Numbers,
Being Ghosted On & Not
Getting Anywhere With Text Game.
Discover My Unique And Very Different Video Masterclass Where I’ll Show You EXACTLY What To Text Girls To Get More Dates, Hookups & Lays Than You Know How To Handle.
Is It Really Possible For Ordinary Looking Guys To Be Receiving Amazing Texts From The Hottest Girls On A Daily Basis?
My Name Is Moe And I Have A Confession…Over the last seven years, I’ve become known as one of the world’s top men’s dating and lifestyle coach thanks to the success of my groundbreaking “Natural system”.
And in that time, I’ve been fortunate to:
And over the years, I’ve shared all my knowledge with thousands of guys in-person, at my live seminars and bootcamps.
After obsessing over trying to find a dating method that would work for ANY guy…
…Regardless of looks, age, career or any other external factor…
My own dating life was proving to be very easy.
I would get one-night stands with gorgeous girls with ease. I had a date with a different girl every night of the week.
… There was still one major problem with my game, which was causing me untold headaches.
And that was texting.
I could go out to a bar, or hit the streets for daygame and load up anywhere from 5-20 numbers in my phone.
But when I would text those girls, it was truly a numbers game.
Yes, the girls who really liked me would still text me back, but…
The Number Of Girls Flaking On Me And Ghosting Me Was Downright Embarrassing!I assumed for a long time this was just the way it was meant to be.
I thought texting would always just be a numbers game, and there was nothing I could do about it.
But the most embarrassing moment was when I was with a student.
This guy was new to game, making rapid progress and he lined up a date with a girl he was really into.
They had been texting back and forth.
He texted me, asking what he should text her to get her to meet up with him that day.
I gave him a message, he sent it, and…
Not only did his girl NOT meet up with him. She didn’t even text him back! After days of back and forth text messages, she GHOSTED him.
That’s when I knew I had to make a change and figure out the texting game once and for all.
I went to Amazon and bought all the books on texting I could find.
I went online, watched every YouTube video I could find on texting, and devoured them all.
I even spent hundreds of dollars buying pickup programs, specifically on texting.
I was determined to figure this out, once and for all.
After taking in all this information, devising a new strategy for texting, I went out and applied it for a month.
I collected over 100 different numbers and texted them all with my new strategy, experimenting with new ideas.
I was still being flaked. Still being ghosted. And my texting still had zero
And funnily enough, that’s when I had my big epiphany!
Texting In 2020 Is Completely Different.
In just the last three years, the social landscape has completely changed, and there’s one reason why:
Think of it like this…
A few years ago, the average girl had maybe 2-3 guys who were texting her at any given time.
But today, even a regular girl who works at Walmart is being hit on my 20-30 guys per day… Just through text alone!
She has guys sliding into her DM’s constantly. She has her co-workers shooting her messages after work. And worst of all, she has a constant barrage of strangers who found her on Instagram, who are pumping up her ego.
You are fighting all of these guys for her attention.
So the question is…
… In a world where the average girls receives 25 messages per day, how do you stand out?
This became my obsession.
I was fortunate because around the time I had this epiphany, I started hanging out with a good friend of mine who was a promoter.
We’d be hanging out and his phone would be dinging with messages non-stop.
He would sometimes have 20 different girls text him inside an hour. And those weren’t girls who just wanted to get in the club.
These were texts saying:
“What are you doing ;)”
“Thinking about you. ”
“Baby, when are you coming over. I need you.”
In other words, they ALL wanted him.
And half the time, he wouldn’t even respond. There were just so many messages, he found it hard to keep up.
I asked him what he was doing, and he happily told me.
And his strategy was so unique and different, that I KNEW right away that it would work.
I knew it was the text game of the future.
I Called It “Text Game Decoded”I tried his strategy out for myself, and it worked from the very first time I used it.
It was amazing, and on this page, I’m going to show you EXACTLY what I learned, and how YOU can use it in your own life to get similar results.
But before we get into it, I need to give you the following warning.
Warning: Do NOT Use Text Game Decoded Unless You’re Ready To Have your Phone Blowing Up With Messages From Girls Who Would Crawl Over Broken Glass Just To Come See You…
If you’re sick and tired of flakey numbers, go-nowhere text message exchanges, and always having to come up with witty lines…
…Then Text Game Decoded will change your life.
I’m going to show you how you can get your hands on my highly-anticipated Text Game
Decoded video masterclass…
… And I’ll show you how you can get it at a steep discount during this special promotional period.
But more importantly, I’m going to open your eyes and introduce you to a BRAND-NEW method of texting…
… Something completely different than all the PUA guys are teaching, which works like crazy.
And the best part is, you can get results:
In a moment, I’ll show you exactly what my secret to effortless texting is (and how you can also use it to get more dates, lays and girlfriends than you know what to do with)…
Text Game Decoded Is Perfect For Guys Who Want…
Ultimately, Text Game Decoded is for the guy who wants more freedom, more abundance and more experience with women…
… And you know reaching those goals is impossible without mastering the game of texting.
But before I tell you more about the program, there’s something you really need to understand.
And that is…
When It Comes To Turning Numbers Into Dates,
#1 The Try-Hard Guy Message
We all know the “Try Hard Guy” when we see him. This is the guy who obsesses over each message trying to find the perfect line to say.
He sends message after message trying to get more than just a “lol” in return.
He sends paragraphs while she sends words.
He sends his life story while she doesn’t even read the full message.
Ultimately, his witty lines comes back to bite him on the ass as he ends up looking super needy, and having the girl he’s texting think:
“Has this guy EVER been laid?”
Look, we’ve all been there. So what should you do instead of being this fake and inauthentic guy?
The Alpha-Male Solution? Simple:
Stop sending TEXTS & Start sending VIDEOS.
Instant Messenger & MySpace were cool… Back in 2004.
Text’s and Facebook were cool…Back in 2012.
But it’s the age of Instagram and DM.
And DM’s (as well as iMessage) allow us to do things we can’t do with SMS text messages. And that’s sending videos.
By sending short and simple video messages (and especially when you use my format which is specifically engineered to drive her crazy and make her obsess over you) you’ll be the only guy sliding into the DM’s who’s name she actually remembers.
You’ll stand out from the pack & authentically show yourself as the Alpha-male she wants to get her hands on.
#2 The Boring Guy Message
There’s a cardinal rule in game: Don’t be boring.
Being boring is the ultimate unforgivable sin.
Yet so many guys fall into this category!
The Boring Guy doesn’t stand out in any way, boring her to tears and sending messages which do nothing but dry up her pussy.
For example: “Hey, so I see you went to California last year on a trip. That is cool I’ve never been. How was the weather? That reminds me of when I went to Denver with my grandma. By the way… blah, blah, blah.”
I nearly fell asleep just typing that…
Listen, in today’s world, even a regular girl who works at Walmart is being hit on my 20-30 guys per day… Just through text and Instagram alone!
Sending the same messages as everyone is a surefire way to never get laid. So if you’re happy to keep jerking off when you come home alone on Saturday nights, please keep sending these messages.
Look, to keep her attention, you must be exciting and engaging in every message! You need to separate yourself from the hoard of other guys in her life, and leave her
thinking about you, staring at her phone to see if you’ve sent her a message.
So how do we do this?
The Alpha-Male Solution?
Here’s what you need to do to stand out: Have a Celebrity Calibre Instagram profile.
There’s a reason Dan Bilzerian has slept with most of Las Vegas. And that’s in big part to this infamous Instagram.
Now, you may not be Dan Bilzerian – I’m not either – but here’s what you need to know.
When you meet a girl, either at a bar, during daygame or through Tinder, the first thing she’s going to do is find you on Instagram.
And she’s going to review your profile to get an idea of who you are, and whether or not you’re cool, exciting and sexy.
Now, having a celebrity calibre Instagram may seem intimidating. But don’t worry.
The average guy’s Instagram is full of selfies in his house, possibly of his food or hanging with the boys. In other words, completely boring and unmemorable.
You don’t need an Instagram like Dan Bilzerian’s – you just need to be better than all these Beta males she’s crossing paths with.
In a second, I’ll show you how to tweak your Instagram so as soon as girls see it, they think “Who is this guy!”
This is one of the secrets to getting super hot reactions over text, getting almost immediate responses and ultimately having her ask YOU “Do you want to meet up?”
#3 The Desperate Guy Message
The Desperate Guy is the creepiest of the lot.
This is the guy who is constantly begging for her attention.
She takes two hours to respond. He take two minutes.
She sends a few words. He sends paragraphs.
She checks her phone every hour or two. He checks his phone every minute.
Look, girls are highly attuned to high status indicators. And a lot of this comes down to safety.
Desperate guys are DANGEROUS guys – and I mean this in the worst possible way.
You have to remember that men are significantly stronger than women. If she ends up one-on-one with the wrong guy, he could easily become a stalker or commit an evil violent act.
Ever seen a picture of a school shooter? It’s always the creepiest, most desperate looking guys you’ve ever seen.
Now, that may sound ridiculous, but there’s decades of evolutionary psychology research backing this up. For her to ever meet up with you, you have to make her feel safe. Like she can trust you completely. Like you’re a good hearted man (yet dominant of course – nobody wants a little bitch. The point is, there’s a balance.)
So what else can you do to get out of this category and instead join the 10% of men who get 90% of the lays and dates?
The Alpha-Male Solution?
Master The Psychology Of Text Game
While there are certain specific factors which make a guy seem creepy and desperate…
… There are also specific psychological hacks which make her feel completely at ease, like she can trust you and like she’s safe around you.
However, most guys have ZERO understanding of women’s psychology, so they never trigger these subconscious responses.
But don’t worry, in a second I’ll show you a few of these psychological texting hacks which you can put to use in your game for almost immediate results.
Truth Bomb: These ‘Attraction Killing Messages’
Are THE REASON You Aren’t Getting Dates
With The 9s & 10s Of Your Dreams
You’ve been lied to about what works. All men have.
Instead, what you need is a brand new approach that…
Works Regardless Of Your Looks, Height, Career Or Even Experience With Women…
- When you discover my secret to create Celebrity Caliber Pictures for Instagram, it won’t matter what you look like, you’ll still be having girls ask themselves “Who is this guy!”
- Just imagine how you’ll feel when you start getting DAILY messages from girls asking when you’re free and begging to meet up.
- Remember, girls respond to EMOTION, but most guys approach text game with logic. When you understand this, and combine it with my High Value Message sequences, girls will be magnetized to you and flakey numbers and being ghosted will be a thing of the past.
Works From The Very First Time You Use Them…
- I’ve laid everything out for you, step-by-step, exactly what to do, so there is absolutely no guesswork needed.
- No more being ghosted, these messages and short, powerful videos will ensure you ALWAYS get an excited and prompt response (because she knows she’s dealing with a dominant, high status man).
Use Deep Psychological Triggers To Make Her Obsess Over You From The Very First Message
- The 5 Proven Messages templates you’ll discover are based upon deep evolutionary psychology principles which trigger her subconscious mind to create attraction instantly.
- She’ll find herself thinking about you, checking your Instagram constantly, examining your stories to see if you’re out with other girls, and she’ll be sliding into your DM’s trying to get your attention and asking you to meet up.
- Just imagine never having to chase a girl again, instead having her chasing after you, changing her plans and meeting when it suits YOU.
If all of this sounds like something you might be interested in, then I’d like to introduce you to my brand-new program:
The product is digital and the images are for visualization only.
Inside the Text Game Decoded
- Step-by-Step instructions for how to text any girl you meet, exactly WHAT to say, HOW to phrase it, and WHEN to send to turn all those numbers you’re collecting into a steady stream of new dates, lays and girlfriends.
- A Behind The Scenes Look At MY Personal Messages: I’ll take you behind the scenes and show you my personal messages, so you can know EXACTLY what I do to get a steady new stream of girls begging me to take them on dates.
- The Alpha Male Number Close: Most girls have already decided whether they will text you back and want to see you again before you ever send them a single message. How? It all comes down to HOW you ask for the number. I’ll show you how to get this right every single time getting all of your interactions off to a perfect start.
- You’ll discover how to set up a celebrity calibre Instagram account so you can have girls chasing YOU. Remember, every girl you ever meet is going to look up your Instagram the first chance she gets. And she’s either going to see an alpha male stud, or she’s going to see another boring guy, just like the rest of them. Which category do you want to be in?
- You’ll learn the 4 BIGGEST texting mistakes a guy can make(and how to avoid them for the rest of your life). Just by eliminating these four common texting mistakes, you’ll immediately have fewer girls flaking or ghosting on you.
- I’ll give you real life examples of the CRINGIEST text messages I’ve ever seen so that you’ll NEVER make the mistakes these guys made.
- The Ultimate Social Proof Hack: What’s the fastest way to become a celebrity? Hang out with other celebrities! It’s the ultimate form of social proof, which as we know, is a very powerful psychological indicator. While you may not know any celebrities now, what if I could show you how to connect with them through Instagram, and have them show up in your profile? Then, any girl who looks through your IG will have her jaw drop when she sees all the guys you’re connected with. And best of all, anyone can do this. It just takes a very specific type of picture, a simple caption and a hack using the Instagram platform.
- You’ll discover the text message I love to send to flaky girls to make them put aside their flakey indecision and come out on a date with you. You won’t believe how many girls you thought it was over with will agree to meet you once you get this message down.
- Get Girls Chasing You: Let’s be honest: You’re sending too many messages, texting too many girls and you’re putting in too much work. What if you could flip the script so that girls are sliding into your DM’s and texting YOU all day long? It all comes down to validation and I’ll show you exactly how to use validation to get girls chasing you inside the program.
How Do You Know That Text Game Decoded Is Right For You?
Here’s how you can be 100% positive that Text Game Decoded is going to help you get a steady stream of new girls out on dates (and into your bed).
Just Ask Yourself…
- Are you sick of busting your ass every week at the bar, doing daygame or on Tinder, collecting anywhere from 3-10 numbers a night, and then having 80% of those girls go cold, get flakey or ghost you?
- If you’re not consistently turning numbers into dates, then to lays and then potential girlfriends, then Text Game Decoded is perfect for you.
- I’ll teach you EXACTLY step-by-step WHAT to send, WHY you should send it and WHEN to send it so you can turn almost every number you get into a date. (Remember, if she’s interested enough to give you her number, she’s interested enough to go on a date. Once you master the Text Game Decoded system, you’ll never have this problem again).
- Do you HATE when that cute girl you’re texting is taking 3-4 hours to reply to your messages, when you KNOW she’s already seen your message and is just choosing not to reply?
- If you’re sick of staring at your phone, begging for her to finally text you back and put you out of your misery, and you instead want your phone to be dinging hourly with girls hitting you up, then Text Game Decoded is for you.
- Inside, you’ll learn how to have a celebrity calibre Instagram profile which shows you off as the high status man you are, and will cause girls to chase YOU on a daily basis.
- Are you sick of texting girls and having a nightmare of a time trying to come up with the right thing to say?
- If it’s taking you more than two minutes to craft the perfect text message to send that cute girl you met at the bar, or the hot babe you matched with on Tinder, then Text Game Decoded is for you.
- I’ll show you easy-to-follow templates and fill-in-the-blank text messages which WORK and get girls to leave their apartment to come see you as soon as you text them.
- Are you sick of being at home alone on Saturday nights and never have dates or booty calls lined up for the weekdays?
- If you’re sick and tired of busting your ass doing all these approaches, but never having it turn into dates or lays, then Text Game Decoded is for you.
- I’ll show you my simple system for lining up dates every night of the week, and best of all, this works even BETTER on the hottest girls.
- Are you sick of girls sending one and two word messages back, saying things like “k”, “lol” “that’s funny”, and even getting these dry messages from just average looking girls.
- If you’re ready to start getting real results with 9’s and 10’s, then Text Game Decoded is for you.
- Get ready for an endless stream of girls blowing up your phone, giving you almost instant replies and bending over backwards so they can come and see you. Text Game Decoded will change your dating life FOREVER.
My 60-Day, ‘Date The Hottest Girls Of Your Life’,
Money Back Guarantee
Text Game Decoded has been used by hundreds of guys around the world to date the hottest girls of their life, and turn more numbers into dates, lays and girlfriends than anything else they’ve ever tried.
I’m so confident my system works for ANYONE regardless of looks, age, career or any of that external nonsense, that I’m going to give you the following deal.
Invest in Text Game Decoded today…
… Try it out for 60-days.
… And if, by the end of 60-days, you don’t feel you’re landing dates with the hottest girls of your entire life…
… Then just let me know and I’ll give you a full and prompt, money-back guarantee.
It’s really that simple. Either land dates with the hottest girls of your life, or let me know and I’ll give you your money back.
It couldn’t be more simple.
But it gets better, because in addition to a full refund, I’ll even let you keep the program. You don’t even have to return it.
If so, then click on one of the “buy now” buttons below and let’s get started.
Join the program and get my proprietary system for turning numbers into dates with incredible ease.
- Take advantage of my 7 years of experience in the game, and use the exact same messages I’ve personally tested hundreds of times.
- Learn my 5 Proven Messages templates that are based upon deep evolutionary psychology principles to trigger her subconscious mind to see you as the High Status, dominant man who you really are.
- Learn my unique video message format, specially designed to drive girls crazy and to get them chasing you, asking YOU when you’re free to meet up.
- Put my 5 Celebrity-Like Social Media Posts Templates to the test and countlessly post your own versions of them to your own instagram. See for yourself how the girls who start following you will soon be commenting on these images, and then begin sliding daily into your DM’s. Those will be the easiest dates and lays of your entire life.
Click the Images of the Ebooks, and take 60 seconds to enter your information on my 100% up-to-date secure and encrypted form.
You’ll get INSTANT ACCESS to the program so you can immediately get started.
Just remember, you have absolutely nothing to lose, and in fact, you aren’t really even paying anything today.
Instead, you’re just taking the program for a test drive.
Because if you don’t get a hot date within 60 days, just let me know and I’ll immediately give you an unconditional, no-questions-asked refund.
So go ahead right now and sign up for the Text Game Decoded and I’ll see you in the program.
See you inside the program champ!
5 First Date Mistakes Men Make That End In Heartbreak and How To Avoid Them
Written By Michael Webb
Just face it!
you never get a second chance to make a first impression!
That's why, if you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date.
And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they're doing it right!
Avoid the following 5 mistakes to increase your chances of success on your first date:
MISTAKE #1 -- BUYING GIFTS
Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn't the best idea - especially if you've just met the woman! She's there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves "what does THAT mean?" And in this case it's, "He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn't even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.
MISTAKE #2 -- BEING MR. SERIOUS
When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they won’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously. Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a “Mr. Serious.”
MISTAKE #3 -- CONDUCTING AN INTERVIEW
When men become "Mr. Serious" they often fall into "job interview conversation mode." Make sure you reserve questions like, "So where do you work?" or "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" for the future, after you've already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff. Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you've known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.
MISTAKE #4 -- BEING TOO NEEDY & DIRECT
Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, "so do you like me?" or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake. Ironically, it's leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman's attention and keeps her interested.
MISTAKE #5 -- GOING TO BORING PLACES
If your date finds the night boring, you're finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it's really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very "proper tone" that's hard to turn into fun and playful. And unless you're a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and movie dates just aren't the best place to take your date. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.
So in essence, while there are many factors to having a successful date, a great date idea really helps you do many of them naturally! Remember, where you take a woman on a first date can be the difference between a great night and a dating disaster! Choose wisely!
About the author:
Oprah Expert Michael Webb is the author of 300
Creative Dates, a book jam-packed with unique ways
to help leave a great first impression without
breaking the bank! To learn more, visit 300 Creative Dates
With the pressure of trying to act natural while hoping that she likes you and laughs at your jokes, first dates can sometimes feel like an interview. First dates are nerve-wracking, they’re also a great way to meet different people and see what potential you may have with them. In order to stay calm, here are some ways to feel more confident on a first date.
Most of us have an idea of the kind of person that we want to be with. Whether you’re picturing someone who loves foreign movies or someone who likes to spend their weekends outdoors, we feel like we know what our perfect date is like.
This is a great way to recognize your expectations, but it shouldn’t be a determining factor on whether the relationship will work out or not. No matter how sure you are of what your ideal match is like, there’s no guarantee that someone who ticks off everything on your checklist will actually fit with your lifestyle. Go on dates with an open mind, and you might find that traits you’ve never thought about are attractive to you, and be pleasantly surprised by the people you meet.
Prepare For The Conversation
The pressure of maintaining a conversation is probably the main reason that people feel nervous about a first date. This is natural. A big part of the date should (hopefully) be taken up with the conversation. You need to learn about your date and find out about their likes, hobbies, and cares.
No matter how well you feel the date is going, it can be comforting to have some open-ended questions in the back of your mind, ready to go if you hit a dry patch. Don’t memorize a script, but prepare for any silences so you don’t panic if they happen. By doing this, you can make it less likely that conversation will go stale, and increase your confidence.
Be Yourself Without Overthinking It
Whether you’re worried about where you should put your hands, what food you should order, or whether she’s noticed that you didn’t have time to iron your shirt, it can be easy to get caught up in overthinking about things that you’ve never really thought before. Instead of letting yourself spiral and get stressed, take some deep breaths.
Remember that there’s a reason that your date wants to get to know you more, and that has everything to do with who you are and nothing to do with you accidentally knocking your fork off the table when you sat down. Be yourself. Don’t hold back when you talk about things that matter to you. The people who are right for you will appreciate you for who are you.
Be yourself, but the best you. For example, if you’re a funny person, tell jokes, but remember it’s not a stand-up show. If you wear glasses and feel awkward about them, go here for a chic new pair that will make you feel good, but still you.
Don’t Take What Happens Personally
It’s hard to not second-guess yourself during a date when you’re being vulnerable just by showing up for a first date. The thoughts that begin stacking up in your head can range from worrying about whether you’ll get a second date, to worrying about whether you’re going out with the right women.
To explain your date’s actions, or why she doesn’t seem interested after the date, it can be easy to look back at what went wrong and how you could have behaved differently. You fret that make you didn’t laugh at her jokes enough, or that you disagreed with something she said. The more you dwell on things like this, the quicker you’ll fall into blaming yourself.
The trick to avoid falling into these toxic thought patterns, you need to realize that being yourself is enough. You shouldn’t have to change yourself in the hope that your date finds you interesting and attractive. If somebody wants to get to know you, nothing will stop them. If they don’t, nothing you can do differently will make them.
Remember Your Date Is Also Human
While you’re wondering if your date can somehow tell that you were so nervous you had to change your shirt three times, your date is probably worrying about something equally trivial. You’re both nervous and pretending that you aren’t.
When we get so involved in our own thoughts and feelings, it can be easy to forget that other people have very similar experiences. In this case, that’s nerves. By reminding yourself that your date is a human, you can recognize that the date is for both of you to discover if there’s something to explore once the nervousness has passed.
Set Your Intention Before The Date
Rather than thinking only about what you want from the other person, it can help to go into the first date thinking about what you want for yourself. Do you want to have fun getting to know someone new? Do you want a fun night out? Do you want an excuse to try out that new restaurant that just opened? Setting an intention helps to ground you, and gives you something to fall back on if nerves rise. Remember to breathe. What matters is remembering your intention to stay present with yourself.
Write Down Compliments You Receive
Most of us just brush off the compliments we get without giving them a second thought, but by doing this, you’re overlooking a valuable opportunity to boost your confidence and improve your sense of self. The next time someone gives you a compliment, take a moment to absorb it and write it down. By writing down what others say they like about you, you can train yourself to value and remember these thoughts. When you write things down, your brain is triggered to remember them.
Before your date, if you’re having a confidence wobble, look in the mirror and repeat five things that you like about yourself. Use your compliments list for inspiration. Whether you’re proud of your kindness, your nice eyes, or your killer spaghetti carbonara that everyone loves to eat, concentrating on your positive attributes instead of worrying about your insecurities or imperfections will make you feel better instantly.
Confidence is an attractive quality, so find a way that works for you to put your insecurities aside for the evening. If you tell yourself enough times that you’re not funny enough, smart enough, or good-looking enough, then you’re going to believe it, and so will your date. If you need to, think back to a time when you felt powerful and confident, whether at work, at home, or out with friends. Visualize the moment to boost your confidence before a first date.
If Your Get Anxious, Use Your Rational Brain
It can be useful to identify the source of your nerves and look at them from a more distanced perspective. If your nervousness gets intense and starts to get detrimental, for example, if you’re plagued with thoughts about how your date will hate you, or every date you go on ends in disaster, then you need to use rational thought to assess this. Think about dates that didn’t end badly. Take a mental inventory of your positive experiences and interaction that you have had on previous dates so that you can push out the nerves and replace them with more realistic thoughts. This leads to better thoughts, like “It could go well, so I’ll keep and an open mind and enjoy the evening.”
Present Your Best Self
Before a date, you should get the basics rights like choosing a clean, ironed shirt, instead of one crumpled at the back of the closet, even if the crumpled one is more you. In person, it’s worth making the effort to tidy up a bit and choose something nice to wear that flatters you.
You aren’t trying to mislead your date, but you do want to show them the best version of yourself. You shouldn’t go out and buy a whole new outfit based on what you think your date might like, as they might feel a little creeped out if they realize you’ve done this, but it ok to consider their style when you get dressed. A good trick is to take a look at their social media first (if you know it) to get an idea of what they might be like. You can see what they’re into and what kind of style they might go for. You shouldn’t try to change to yourself to be attractive for the other person, but if you notice that they always wear vintage style clothing, there’s nothing wrong with choosing a retro-looking shirt, if you already own one.
Remembering David X
David X passed away on Sunday, October 11, 2020, at the age of seventy-one.
David is and always will be, a fighter.
Up until the very last moments of his life, he continued to rally with every fiber of his being.
As many who knew him will recount, he wasn't always the easiest person to get along with as the spirit of a fighter often comes with many casualties. But if he liked you, he would move heaven and earth to help.
He lived his life with three tenets that he repeated constantly: honesty, trust, and respect.
Goodbye David, and Thank you.
People are having MORE SEX during Covid, not less
Upon reflection I decided that whereas some people would be completely surprised, those already involved won't be shocked at all.
When Covid first hit and we went into the first lockdown, my first reaction was that I better focus on new ways to make a living because coaching for dating was dead. I mean, who is going to make dating a priority during the lockdown? In fact, I remember reading social media forums and comments about how people were going to give up casual sex, and use their time in quarantine to get to know people online for weeks before being allowed to meet in person.
Seems logical right?
I have been a dating coach for a little over 20 years at this point, and I haven't seen this level of dating and hook ups in all that time. People are having way more sex during covid, than they did prior to covid. I have been riding the wave ever since.
The first lockdown was a wake up call for many single people. I saw a similar phenomena prior to covid. A person goes through a personal crisis, or major sense of loss, and it helps them re-prioritize their life and gets them to make their love life a priority.
Normally, I have clients that suffered some kind of major loss. These examples may include the love of their life just dumped them, or a parent dies, or they lose a career. Usually these occurrences make people realize their mortality, how little time they actually have left to have a great life, or how uncertain life can be, and thus they better go after something they really want (like losing their virginity, having great sex, or being in an amazing relationship).
When the first lockdown hit and started to last longer they they expected (about 3 weeks in), people started to realize something...that they were NOT happy...at least, they were not as happy as they thought they were.
A large number of clients come from the "happily single" cluster. Suddenly, without being able to go drinking and dancing with friends, visit family, going to the gym to socialize, going to the movies, or simply hanging out in a warm and comfortable cafe to catch up on some reading they discovered something really profound. They actually were NOT "happy being single" at all. They just had a lot of options available to fill in their time. Now with those options gone, being single and free from all the responsibility and commitment that a relationship requires...does not feel like freedom anymore. In fact, one client described it as being in a cage where you are both the prisoner and the warden at the same time, and not realizing it until the bars are closed. (Intentional play on words there).
The single parent group was another hard hit mass. Many single parents faced the hard truth that the casual flings that occupied their time had no interest in saving them once Covid hit. It is hard enough for a single parent to find lasting commitment in dating, but during a time of crisis (just like corona brought on), it seems that everyone who loved to have sex with you, had no desire to step up and help your kids survive anything. Even the platonic friends of single parents started to focus on looking out for themselves, and hoarding food and essentials, because no one knew what was going to happen next. Suddenly single parents realized maybe the ONLY person that had a vested interest in seeing their kids survive, were the partners they left because married life with those stable parents was just a little too boring. It seems that some (not all, and certainly not enough) of those single parents are now focused on seeking a better step-parent for their kids, than the concern of how much chemistry (in the form of butterflies in the stomach) the next fling can generate.
A number of people coming to me now, are people that have heard of me, or known of my services for quiet some time, but were never ready to start coaching. Well, it seems Covid has made them ready...the thought that they were going to be single going into the next lockdowns was too much for them...and understandably so.
The one thing so many of these groups of people have in common is that Covid has changed them. The thought that there was nothing left to distract them from the misery they feel in not having a more emotionally fulfilling relationship.
I have heard it said that grief can make someone horny, and that facing mortality can shift a person's focus to seeking more sex. Well, I would have to agree with those assessments, if what is being reported to me is true.
-people are looking up the ones they rejected and giving them a chance
-people that have just wanted to be friends are now initiating something romantic
-people having sex sooner than later (people that used to wait months are no longer holding out)
-when dating online, anyone refusing to meet in person in less than a week gets ghosted without a second thought (no long drawn out conversations online lasting weeks)
-people are going over to the homes of their dates for sex, even if they only met 2-3 times
-anyone that refuses to have sex right away gets ghosted
-no one wants to agree to being "just friends" anymore and stay in touch with anyone that rejected them
-anyone wanting faster exclusivity is left with the unpleasant task of either accepting non-exclusivity or walking away, because no one wants to be exclusive right away for fear of it not working out and ending up alone in the next stricter lockdown. They want to keep dating as many people as possible to keep their options open
-the sex is taking place behind closed doors and in secret. No one is sharing the details of their sexual encounters with their friends anymore for fear of being shamed or bullied for not social distancing. Yes, YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY are possibly out there getting some, and no, they aren't going to tell you about it.
In fact (and this is a personal pet peeve of mine), many of the most promiscuous individuals seem to be hiding behind the the social media masks of pushing others to social distance. These individuals are the living embodiment of Do As I Say Not As I Do.
As a coach, people share the details of their lives with me (even those that are not clients). I do not judge, professional or personally, so people tend to open up and tell me things they do not tell others. I find it sad that they go out of their way to push one agenda, when living another...I hope for them that at least they are not so vocal about their public positions, given that the positions that do in private might leave them open to exposure.
-for people in relationships, they seem to be at one of two extremes. Either they were planning to break up eventually but the thought of being stuck in quarantine with someone has pushed them to end the relationship right now, or the couple realize that things aren't so bad after all, and they would rather work out their differences than to get out there and date again, especially with social distancing making things more challenging.
If you are looking for some dating tips for Covid times, here they are:
1-First date: Dinner date over media (skype, facetime, etc..) Each of you dress up, make yourself presentable, prepare your favorite romantic meals, light the candles and have a date. I know it is not the same as a real in person dinner date. The point is to put in the same effort you would have if you were meeting in person. Action creates emotion, and this is a great way to start.
If that works well,
2-Second date: Meet in person and social distance. A walk in the park, or even of social distance picnic. Fly a kite. No close quarters and a step more intimate than an online dinner date from home.
3-Third date: Up to you. You can try to have more social distance dates, but anyone who is serious about wanting something more will only go on a limited number of social distance dates. Dating is NOT for making friends. Dating is for finding lovers and long term serious companions. If you are ready to risk being alone together, that is your choice. If not, set your boundaries and see if the other person is ready to be on the same level as you. If that person is not, then you dodged a bullet and move on to the next person to date. As long as you are both consenting adults, it is no one else's business.
For people that never made getting sex, or finding a serious relationship a priority before, some of them are waking up to the fact that now is a good time to connect with someone and they are getting out there, before it is illegal to get out there.
The general consensus is that no one wants to be alone going into the next strict-rules lockdown.
And no one feels they have time to go slow.
If you do engage in extra-sexual activity, or even hyper sexuality activity, I can only ask that you do your best to protect yourself, and those around you. It is not my place to tell you what to do with your lives. I am your coach, your guide, but I am not the boss of you.
A Quick Guide to Post-Divorce Relationships
If you’ve been struggling with something like ED and take treatment for it, this is something that you should feel comfortable talking about when engaging with a new partner. On the other hand, if you suffer from ED and haven’t looked into treatment options, this could be something your partner helps you research to ensure that you can both have a health sex life. Thankfully, there are sites such as Manual.co which can help with erectile dysfunction. All you have to do is fill in an online questionnaire and once reviewed, you could have a prescription issued and be enjoying your new relationship in no time.
While there might be some things that you want to hold back, there are other things that should be discussed with your partner sooner rather than later. This will give you the building blocks for a stronger relationship overall.
Make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your children. For example, they might not take on any disciplinary role during an early point in your relationship, even if you are living in their home and your children are visiting you there. It is incredibly important that your children are allowed to build a relationship with your new partner for themselves.
However, you need to make sure that any potential partner is also on board with your plans. There will be people out there looking for fun, and there will be others looking for commitment. Work out what you would like, and then find someone who matches up with these preferences.
Dating after a divorce can be a scary experience, but that does not mean that you need to avoid the subject entirely. With the right attitude and a willingness to put yourself out there to meet new people again, you could soon be on your way to your next successful and rewarding relationship. The right person is waiting for you!
Relationships are a beautiful thing. They provide you with a sense of belongingness and comfort that you have someone that you can always count on. However, when a relationship is stable, it is easy to get confident and complacent. Soon enough, you are falling into predictable routines that can lead to complacency.
Before you find yourself in a relationship death trap, take action. You can do many things as a couple to bring back the palpable excitement that you used to feel in the early years of your relationship. Push yourself to push the envelope and stop being lazy with your relationship.
From experiencing a new country to taking piano lessons together, here are some activities that can help strengthen your relationship.
1. Travel together to a new place.
Traveling together to places you have never been before creates a sense of excitement that refreshes your relationship. It allows you to explore and experience new things together. Studies show that couples who travel are more satisfied with their relationship. The memories of experiencing something new together creates a lasting and beautiful mark in both of you. You will forever treasure and look back into these shared memories with fondness and love.
There is also the romance and the spontaneity of traveling to a new place that makes it healthy for relationships. You both live in the moment, without worrying about work, the bills, and your responsibilities.
2. Learn something new.
Awaken your curiosities together and learn a new skill or hobby. Enroll in classes together. When you discover and learn something new, it brings you closer together. The process of learning, from that moment of vulnerability to the building of your confidence, can help strengthen your bond. Here are some classes or workshops that you can both take. Not only will learning something new keep the spark between you, but it can also help in your personal development.
Yoga Classes. Yoga encourages you to be mindful, allowing you to keep in touch with your emotions. It is also great for your mental and physical health. It's a great exercise that both of you can enjoy.
Piano Lessons. Connect to your artistic side and bring out the prodigy in you. Learning to play a new musical instrument is a fun way to awaken the eager child in you. You can also choose to learn different musical instruments.Something is rewarding about being able to play your favorite songs on a musical instrument. Who knows, come holiday get-togethers, you both can play a musical number for your family.
Foreign Language Class. Learning a new language is fun, and it is something that both of you can use when you travel in the future. Choose a language that you have always found fascinating. Learning to speak French and Spanish can come in handy for your next European tour.
Train for a Marathon. If a marathon seems too much, a fun run will do. Sign up for a community-run and train together. Achieving your goals together can make you feel more united as a couple.
Ballroom Dancing. Do you love the movie Dirty Dancing? Even if you are not a good dancer, you can still enjoy the benefits that dancing brings. Ballroom dancing encourages teamwork between you because you have to learn the dance together. Impress everyone in the next family event that you go to with your smooth dancing moves.
3. Attend concerts of your favorite artists.
Do you remember the feeling of watching your favorite singer live? The sounds and the atmosphere enveloping you, making the hair on your skin stand. There's a good reason why people are willing to pay hundreds of dollars to watch a live concert. It's that sense of being in the now, with the beat of the drums in chorus with your wildly beating heart that makes live concerts such an enjoyable experience. Aside from the fact that you will see your idol live in the flesh, people mostly pay for the experience and feeling that live concerts bring. Now imagine feeling that with your partner. Dancing and swaying to the music together can bring you closer and can help reduce stress.
4. Treat yourselves.
Relax and recharge together regularly. Go to a spa for a massage that you can enjoy side by side. You will both feel better and more relaxed, setting the mood for a more stress-free time together. Most spa packages come with a dinner course that you can enjoy after some relaxing massages and therapies. You can enjoy each other's company while in a lighter mood, savoring the food together, talking about anything that comes into your mind.
Maintaining a relationship requires work. However, it does not have to be hard. Make time for these bonding activities, and watch your relationship revive its old sparkle.
If the COVID pandemic has brought out mental and emotional problems you weren’t aware you were dealing with, you’re not alone. According to multiple recent studies, rates of anxiety and depression have skyrocketed. In comparison to last year at this same time, people were twice as likely to be displaying signs of anxiety or depression. When mental struggles arise, it can be hard to deal with basic everyday needs, let alone seek out a new relationship or work on your love life.
Making the first steps of seeking help for anxiety, relationship problems, depression, grief counseling, or generalized social anxiety is hard, but it’s also the most important thing you can do for yourself and your partner or future partner.
When is it time to find outside help?
If you have found yourself struggling with emotional or mental problems and are unsure if it’s time to seek counselling therapy, ask yourself the following questions:
- Have I really tried to do things to improve my life or mental stability, but haven’t found any reprieve from symptoms?
- Do I constantly think that life could get better if just the next positive thing happened? (For example, “If I just get a raise, my depression will go away.)
- Do I suddenly want to retreat from my social life with no apparent reason? (If you’re making excuses for every social interaction, this is a sign you may need to seek help.)
What are the ways that these mental or emotional problems affect your relationships?
When you suffer from exhausting emotional difficulties or mental disorders that are left untreated, your sacrifice not only yourself but your relationships as well. Here are ways that various disorders or mental illnesses may impact your love life:
- Self-isolation. If your social anxiety is causing you to feel isolated, you’re likelier to automatically self-isolate further. When you suffer from social anxiety, the time you need people most, you may in fact be withdrawing more.
- If you have anxiety about your relationship that you did not have before, constantly seeking reassurance will actually create barriers between you rather than bring your closer. Self-doubt is often associated with depression and anxiety.
- Depression brings negatives to light and shrinks the positives. This may mean you’re criticizing your partner in ways you wouldn’t have otherwise done, pushing them further away, and creating arguments unnecessarily.
- Anxiety does not always appear the same for everyone. Those who suffer from anxiety may find themselves lashing out, lacking patience, or even having impaired communication from stress.
Integrity isn’t just about telling the truth, it's about upholding some unwritten rules. This is what makes marriage so holy and so precious, because we don’t just follow the standard rules everyone knows about like ‘don’t sleep with anyone else’, but we follow those that we can’t see and haven’t technically agreed. The foundation of integrity is self-respect. You know right from wrong, and you shouldn’t want to degrade yourself by doing something morally wrong.
Integrity in marriage means, showing up at a time you said you would. If your spouse’s car is broken down, and they call you to be picked up, don’t tell them you’re on your way and then catch 5 more minutes of the football game. Integrity means doing the right thing, even when your spouse isn’t watching. Each word has to be met with action. If you say you’re going to do something, you stick to your word. It's about being ethical for yourself and your partner. The crucial aspect is, only you can uphold good standards, only you can be a good person, your spouse cannot make you into these things.
Don’t close the doors
Openness is something that can fade over time and that can lead to you going from a married couple to just a couple. Those rings on your fingers don’t mean much if you aren’t sharing your deepest darkest secrets, insecurities, and desires with your spouse. But why then, would openness in a marriage deteriorate?
It's usually because of over-critique. If you’re playing whack-a-mole with your partner’s feelings and desires, you are going to burn them eventually. They won’t want to share with you because they know what is going to follow if they do. So, what you need to stop doing is, belittling their feelings, saying that they’re making a mountain out of a molehill when they are clearly seeing and feeling a situation through a different lens. If you need help understanding when they are being serious and when they are over-thinking something, read a body language book or watch a few videos on the subject. Without saying a word, you can look at your spouse and know when they are emotionally fragile when they have experienced something very troubling. It's good to try and bolster their confidence by sometimes showing they are worrying over nothing, but other times, you should be sensitive to their needs.
Power and Humility
The power dynamic in a marriage is just like the one in a normal relationship without a holy bond. Here’s what you may know already about this dynamic.
- They feel like they’re in control of the marriage when they earn more money.
- They feel in control when they’re the leader of the household
- They are in charge of the family’s security, i.e. picking out and installing CCTV cameras, fingerprint door locks, etc.
- They feel like they’re in control when they control life in the bedroom.
- They feel in charge when they can show financial independence to their husband.
- They feel secure in their leadership role when the children obey her more than the father.
Humility in this regard goes a long way. Admitting that you have some kind of power over your spouse is the first step to breaking down invisible barriers. Otherwise, couples can get into a Cold War-type of a situation where no one acknowledges they have the power that scares the other person, and they both end up trying to one-up each other. Husband and wife, have to honestly talk about these things if you are to have a balance of some sort.
Do you enable each other?
Do you do things such as cover-up or make excuses for your spouse’s bad behavior? This might seem like something a ‘loyal’ husband or wife would do, but when you know they are doing something harmful, you’re just enabling them. With your silence or even, the backing of some kind, they feel emboldened to do it again and again. This can result in both spouses becoming locked in a descending spiral where nobody will win. If you find that both of you or just one person, in the marriage is experiencing substance abuse of any kind, call the couples rehabs center. They have been delivering incredible services to married couples that have addiction concerns.
They have both inpatient and outpatient services. They believe that when couples are addicted to drugs or alcohol, their behavior progresses together. In other words, you both enable each other. With their rehab services, both of you can turn from enablers to solid rocks of self-belief and direction. You can help each other become sober and look after one another. This is why the success rate among couples is so much higher than individuals because you stop each other from falling back into the cycle. Check out their cognitive behavioral therapy program which helps couples to understand their thoughts and feelings may be counteracting their need to overcome addiction.
Become fitter together
Couples that workout together and exercise in unison, are far healthier both mentally and physically than those that don’t. Married couples might think they need time alone and working out is a good thing they do by themselves. However, it can like having a workout buddy that knows your every limit.
Go running together, through the countryside. Or you can both get up at the same time each morning, and perform yoga in your living room together. Meditate side by side and really become comfortable with each other, on a deeper philosophical level. Both of your energies and human beings will merge and something amazing will happen. You will see each other’s true nature when you’re pushed physically. The gritting of teeth, sharing of pain, and exhaustion is something that will build camaraderie.
Sex is the end-all-be-all
You can only connect with each other on a romantic level if you’re both physically attracted to one another. The union of bodies is something that cannot be replaced by anything else. Loving each other is very noble, but you cannot underestimate the value of being sexually fulfilled in a marriage; especially for the man.
So learn how to get better! You are with the last person you will ever be intimate with, so you have free reign to be as wild as you want. Do you have any sexual fantasies? Why are they still fantasies only!? You should be doing them with your spouse. Be brave and don’t hold back, tell him or her, exactly what you like. Be very detailed and even, demanding. This kind of sexual fulfilment keeps marriages alive but also, keeps them spicy!
Sex shouldn’t even be a chore either, you should want to do it. So instead of going purely for quality, try to focus on quantity too. Don’t have some kind of end-of-the-week sex engagement, you should be doing it throughout the week. Even if it's for 5 minutes, release that sexual urge before you go to work in the morning. And most importantly, don’t ever use the withholding of sex as a weapon. Your spouse will resent you and feel like a prisoner.
Learn to cook
For any marriage, cooking great meals is another cornerstone of a healthy relationship. When you come home from work, you shouldn’t be diving into a pre-cooked store-bought meal. You deserve better. You both do.
So, pick out a cuisine and then buy a recipe book online in the one you have chosen. Next, you need to buy the ingredients for one of the meals and cook together in the kitchen. Once you become comfortable cooking great meals at home, it's going to make dinner dates and dinner parties so much more fun. It allows you to wow each other and not always go to a restaurant for a candle-lit dining experience. You can also become hosts for your guests, work as a team to impress your in-laws or friends.
There’s almost no chance that you have tried everything to make your marriage work. There’s always something that you have yet to experience together. These are just some of the things that will make your bond stronger than ever before.
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