Oh The Guilt...Sex and the City Season 6 Written by: Pillow Talk Gal It’s one of the most challenging things any mother (single or not) has to learn to cope with: How to balance motherhood/family life and a career. For nine months we go through pregnancy, coping with our ever changing bodies, preparing for the day when baby will arrive. We setup the room; making sure we have every detail taken care of (baby clothes, toys, strollers, car seats, etc...). Before you know it the day has arrived and you are happier than you ever thought possible. You bring your new bundle of joy home and you learn what being a mom entails (little to no sleep, what seems like endless diaper changes and cleaning clothes, bottles and other baby related paraphernalia). Eventually you get the hang of the whole baby thing (schedule and otherwise) and you’ve hit your stride. You have it all together. You feel like you have this baby thing under control and you are the super hero of moms (at the very least a side kick). Then the day you’ve been dreading more than the labour pains, hits. You have to go back to your job. Suddenly, you have to trade in your mom card and go back to being ‘’professional’’ you. You hand in your diaper genie and get an upgrade to a briefcase. It feels weird, unnatural and somehow all wrong! In season 6 of Sex and the City (episode 6- Hop, Skip and a Jump) Miranda is facing just such a challenge. She has been back to work for a little while now and has acquired help from her trusted house keeper, Magda, to look after her infant son Brady. One morning, Miranda is running late for work when Magda arrives at the apartment to start her day. As all working mothers must do, Miranda relinquishes care of Brady to the help and sets off on her day to work. As she is leaving, Brady begins to howl at seeing his mama leave his sight. Although she knows she loves her job, Miranda is riddled with guilt at leaving her baby boy. None the less, she sets of on her long day of work. Later that day, Miranda is summoned to a meeting (for which she believes involves a case she has been working tirelessly on for her law firm). She arrives in a bit of a rush and immediately begins to give the partners of the firm her assessment of how her case is going. They quickly interrupt her, informing her that the meeting is with regards to her work performance and not her cases. They mention that they have noticed her missing time, being late for meetings and leaving early on certain occasions. Miranda, being the ultimate professional she is, makes no excuses for herself and states that those issues will no longer be a problem. She also takes the time to mention (you know, casually in passing) that as a lawyer, her performance has been unflawed but as a mother she felt like a failure. She gracefully leaves the room, and takes the time to remind the partners that when her mother passed, she happened to be at work the following Monday (only having missed 1 day). That evening, Miranda rushes home in the hopes of being able to spend some quality time with Brady. As she arrives home, she proclaims ‘’I’m here, I’m here!’’ to Magda, but to her disappointment Miranda discovers that Brady has been in bed for the past hour. She is so disappointed not only to find out that she missed spending time with her son, but also at herself. She feels like a failure as a parent! Why is it so difficult being a working mother? It’s such a struggle to be successful at both. The more time we spend being good at one, the more time we end up feeling like a failure at the other. Is there a happy medium? The business world places so much emphasis on being successful at our careers and there is so much pressure to perform. On the other hand, choosing to spend time and invest in our children is seen as slacking off. When a working mom needs to leave work because their child is sick, it is often met with scorn and disapproval (from colleagues and superiors a like). If there happens to be an occasion where a mother needs a day off to attend an event for their child, they are often either denied this opportunity, or are forced to lie about the reasons they need the day off (for example ‘’my car broke down’’, ‘’I was robbed’’, you get the idea). The business world invests millions of dollars everyday into a multitude of business ventures, so how is it they don’t put the same value on investing into children, who essentially are our future leaders. Why does society shun stay at home moms instead of praising them for raising well rounded kids? It would be nice to have an equal balance of both worlds (family and career) so that working women could avoid the feeling of failure all together and just feel fulfilled, all the while enjoying success both in and outside of the family unit. About Pillow Talk Gal Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons. "Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal To read Pillow Talk Gal's last post, click HERE *Disclaimer: Sex and the City was produced by HBO and all rights, titles and interests in any images or clips, used herein under Fair Use and Fair Copying, remain the property of the author. P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.
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Sex and the City: Season 2- Ready, set.......PANIC!!! Written by: Pillow Talk Gal Has this ever happened to you...Your thoughts are racing, your heart is pounding and then that dreaded feeling that you’re going to pass out begins. You feel like everything around you is closing in and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. What’s happening? Well, chances are you’re having a panic attack. It’s scary (especially the first time) and it happens to so many people, yet it’s something not spoken of, due to its stigmatic nature. In season 2 of Sex and the City, episode 5 – Four women and a Funeral, Miranda has decided to make the jump and buy her own place. She is financially independent and feels ready to take the next step. Being a 35 year old, successful woman buying her own apartment alone (without the financial help of a man) seems to be a concept lost on many of the people around her (her realtor, the mortgage broker, associates at her law firm).
As she visits the vacant apartment to measure for drapes, she meets one of her soon to be neighbours who mentions that the previous owner was an unmarried, lonely old lady, who died and was found a week later, having had her face eaten off by her cat!
Finally in a last ditch effort to save her own life, she gives herself the Heimlich manoeuvre on the back of an unpacked moving box and to her relief, she is able to dislodge the trapped Kung Pao chicken. After she has caught her breath, Miranda immediately calls Carrie to inform her of her near death experience, luckily Carrie is able to talk her off the ledge (so to speak) and calm her down. When asked if she needs company, Miranda puts on a brave face and shrugs off the experience (with the exception of making sure her cat’s food bowl is completely full with food, you know, as a precaution of course).
Then out of nowhere, things start to feel very wrong. Her vision starts to blur, the buildings and everything around her begin to spin and she feels as though she is going to pass out. Luckily, a cab happens to be a few feet away (this is New York City after all), so she summons the strength to hail it over and immediately tells the driver to take her to the nearest hospital. $500 worth of tests later, doctors tell Miranda she has had a panic attack. Even though Miranda was trying to be strong, the stress from the possibility of living and dying alone became too much for her to handle.
In today’s society we are all finding our own way of dealing with the stress factor in our lives. There are so many issues now a days (divorce, politics, terrorism, bad economical times, etc...) that for many it has become almost impossible to not worry, a daily ritual if you will (in waking thoughts or as you put your head to pillow at night). As I write this I can’t help but wonder,
Mental health issues have definitely gotten more attention in the last few years, but it’s important that we all remember that the next time you see someone struggling, instead of brushing them off, be compassionate and think twice before judging. Everyone has ‘’something’’ and we can never really understand how they are handling it. About Pillow Talk Gal Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons. "Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal To read Pillow Talk Gal's last post, click HERE *Disclaimer: Sex and the City was produced by HBO and all rights, titles and interests in any images or clips, used herein under Fair Use and Fair Copying, remain the property of the author. P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you. Sex and the City 1998-2004- Girl talk for the ages Written by: Pillow Talk Gal If you are 25+ in age, you’ve probably seen at least one episode of this iconic show. Its appeal is undeniable and more often than not any viewer (male or female) walks away having learned something. Witty banter can involve sexually hot topics, fashion trends, designers and of course the ever popular theme throughout the series L-O-V-E. Through the eyes of Carrie Bradshaw, Charlotte York, Miranda Hobbes and Samantha Jones we are immersed into the lifestyle of living in New York City, where we visit places to grab a quick drink/dinner, see fabulous shops, art galleries and of course there are the endless cocktails (more specifically cosmopolitans, the drink that became synonymous with this show). We follow these women through everything from intimate details about sex (it is called Sex and The City after all) to finding love, staying in love or even falling out of it. This show speaks to me on so many levels that I find watching it almost therapeutic.
Of course her request is met with some surprise by the store clerk as he mentions that Sharper Image doesn’t sell vibrators (it is in fact a neck massager.) None the less, that’s what Samantha has been using it for ‘’wink, wink, nudge, nudge’’. After some interesting and witty exchanges between the two, the clerk succumbs to Samantha’s charm and tells her to pick another. Onlookers in the store have been watching the exchange between the two and have come to the conclusion that she is some kind of vibrator guru (which of course we know she is). They begin to ask her questions as to which model would best suit their individual needs. This scene is a perfect example of the way the show allows us to breach topics that otherwise might be considered risqué. After all, who among us hasn’t had the vibrator discussion with our own girlfriends?
Shape, size, color or even added features, vibrator talk is more common among the best of girlfriends than you would imagine. I can’t help but wonder though, for how many people is a vibrator better than the real thing?
Maybe for some it starts out as a curiosity issue and evolves into a way to avoid intimacy with others. Think about it, a vibrator can’t hurt your feelings, doesn’t act selfish and can never break up with you. It’s always there for you and never asks for anything in return... just new batteries. So the question is where do we draw the line between recreational use and dependence on a battery operated relationship? About Pillow Talk Gal Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons. "Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal *Disclaimer: Sex and the City was produced by HBO and all rights, titles and interests in any images or clips, used herein under Fair Use and Fair Copying, remain the property of the author. P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree? Have something to Add? Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you. What is CookandDate? by Cristina Mucciardi CookandDate is one of, if not the best way to meet likeminded singles today… Of course I’m bias as to why CookandDate is such a great way to meet potential mates because I am the founder, however time and time again we get so much positive feedback that we can’t think otherwise. The concept is simple, get a group of singles together (average 16) in a private kitchen, with a preset menu and have them mingle and cook together before enjoying the wonderful meal. We advertise 10-15 year age categories so that people can choose an appropriate age group based on whom they are looking to meet …
CookandDate, offers weekly culinary and cocktail events for singles. The evening's format has guests interact by cooking several courses and a sit-down meal. Chefs cover various cuisines, including French, Italian, Mediterranean, Indian, Kenyan and Caribbean. CookandDate recently launched events in Toronto and New York City as well as an expansion across Canada and the United States. Cristina Mucciardi is a 30 something year old entrepreneur that always had the dream of starting her own business. In the past she has tried importing clothing lines from Europe, starting a chain of tanning salons and investing in a small beauty company out of Ohio. At one point, she stumbled upon a chef in France that had his own cooking school where once a month he would give cooking classes as a singles event, and she thought, “WOW she would do that!!! What an unintimidating way to meet other singles without feeling desperate or spending time in the “bar scene” which never seemed to work out right…” She launched her site www.cookanddate.com in Jan 2008. The service has now expanded to include personalized matchmaking, appearance and etiquette coaching to name a few. CookandDate has appeared in the media including On television: Entertainment Tonight Canada, CTV, Global Television, TVA, Radio-Canada, CJNT, In print: The Gazette, La Presse, Clin D'Oeil, Summum Girl, On the radio: The Score Toronto, Virgin Radio 96, CKOI, Q92, CHOM, CJAD, On websites/blogs: MSN, About.com, FranceTop, Canoe, SingleEdition, Watchmojo, Sweetspot.ca Cristina is getting married MAY 2107 to a great man and more importantly her best friend… Contact for more information or to schedule an interview about CookandDate: Cristina Mucciardi 1-888-702-2633 / 514-664-5991 cristina@cookanddate.com CookandDate Founder & Project Coordinator www.cookanddate.com Making Monogamy Work: Monogamy Must Be Earned By Frank Kermit *This is an excerpt of my Ebook: FRANKTALKS VOLUME 3: MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY EDITION EBOOK Monogamy can be easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people however: the power of choice and the self entitlement of our current societal structure is making it more challenging for the chances that monogamous people have, of making their relationship structure work for them. The Rules of Monogamy: 1-The first rule of monogamy is that you only have sex with one other person. The first rule of monogamy is very much what most people understand monogamy to mean. It is simple to understand. Most people assume it stops there, but it does not. The second rule, is even more important, and challenging, than the first rule. 2-The second rule of monogamy is that you never do anything that would even just potentially threaten rule #1. And in those two rules chaos ensues for the wannabe monogamous couple that is not sure what a real threat to their monogamy is. The chaos comes from not being sure what a potential threat is. Now an obvious threat: someone is sexually interested in being with the person that you are monogamous with, or someone is sexually interested in being with you when you are in a monogamous relationship. That is a threat. What about a potential threat? Potential threat means you do not put yourself in a situation where the likelihood of temptation already exists. The bottom line, when you are in a monogamous relationship, any time that you are out for social reasons and extra-curricular reasons with people that you are attracted to, who have already expressed a sexual interest in you, it is a potential threat to your relationship. At the very least, it is a potential threat to your monogamy. As monogamists, you must figure out how you define a potential threat. Threats to the monogamy will not always be so obvious. Some couples may feel that using sex toys as “marital aids” help aid a challenge in the marriage while other couples may view using sex toys as a threat to their relationship. It is up to the couple to work things out, communicate and deal with their individual insecurities. BTW, you can learn more about using Sex Toys with a new lover in my Ebook NOW WHAT? UNIQUE WAYS TO CATER TO HER SEXUAL E.N.A. EBOOK There are going to be times when your partner is going to come up to you and say, "Listen, I do not want you hanging out with so-and-so anymore." Their reason is, "That person threatens our monogamy." They might not word it that way, but that is essentially what they are getting to. If you believe in the principle of monogamy, you have to listen to your partner's concern, and hopefully you can come to some sort of consensus as to what the best action is to take. I cannot tell you to completely eliminate all potential threats, because at that point, neither of you will be socializing with anybody. If you are not interacting with anyone, then that cannot be emotionally healthy either. As I teach it, you do not kill what you are trying to protect. Just as you must have realistic expectations of the relationships structure you get into, you must you have realistic perspectives on the potential threats to your monogamy. When it comes to potential threats to your monogamy, you must never be afraid to express to your partner that you see a potential threat to the monogamy of your relationship. Never be afraid to say, "That person that you are hanging out with wants to have sex with you." As monogamists, you must be ever so aware of the potential threats to your monogamy. Yes, you are going to be accused of being jealous, and yes, you are going to accused of being insecure, and yes, you might even be accused of not trusting your partner. So what? I personally feel that I would rather be accused of all those things and do what is necessary to project the monogamy of my relationship, when our intent is to be monogamous. I personally feel that a monogamist person has every right to do what it takes to protect the monogamy of their relationships. To what degree you see a potential threat is up to you. Keep in mind that no one is going to care about the importance of your monogamy in your relationship as much as you and (hopefully) your partner do. Monogamy is a work in progress, it is not a given, and can not be taken for granted One of my principles of monogamy is that Monogamy Must Be Earned. Part of the reason that monogamy must be earned is that you want to make sure you know what you want, and that you are sure that the person you are choosing is capable of giving it to you. A very big point here is that monogamy is a lifestyle. As I teach it in my 4 hours audio program lecture, MAKING MONOGAMY WORK - WHEN ONE IS ALL YOU NEED AUDIO you do not make the mistake of thinking that monogamy is just a relationship structure; think of it as a lifestyle because it permeates a lot of the decisions that you are going to make. Being monogamous means that you might even make a change in the type of profession that you choose. For example, one of the reasons that some people become unfaithful, even thought they entered a monogamous relationship with the best of intentions, but down the road they become unfaithful, is because one of the people in the monogamous relationships, or both of them, are in professions where they are working anywhere form 12 to 14 hours a day apart from each other. They just do not have the time to spend together. Over the course of year-after-year, feeling alone, being pursued, maybe feeling angry or resentful for having to work so hard to support your partner which could lead to an unhelpful sense of entitlement to having earned the little extras and then being faced with temptation can lead an originally well intentioned individual to justify getting something from an affair that they feel is no longer there for them at home. Both men and women are susceptible to going though this. It is not gender specific. If monogamy is very important to you, consider it a lifestyle that you have to support. That might mean choosing a different profession, maybe making less money, or making money is a different way so that your lifestyle does not threaten your monogamy. Frank Kermit Learn about The Hierarchy of Dating and Relationships (and how to Transition to Monogamy as a Couple) in the Coaching Workbooks: I'm A Man, That's My Job and I'm A Woman, It's My Time If you have any questions about managing the monogamy of your relationship sign up for a couples session. The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
By Frank Kermit There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. At their most literal meanings, these commonly used words are very understandable. Intellectually, most people have no problem grasping their mental understanding of those words. Lust can be defined as the sexual desire that someone may experience when attracted to someone. To enjoy lust even better check out Now What? Unique Ways to Cater To her Sexual ENA Love can be defined as an emotional attachment someone feels for another person. To make someone full in love with you learn to master their emotional needs. Sex is a physical act between people and usually refers to the act of intercourse. If you never had sex, talk to me about how to lose your virginity. Dating can be understood to refer to the process of two people spending time together with a romantic intention. Check out the NEW rules of dating. Commitment is an obligation that you make a promise to fulfill. There are ways to check if your relationship is commitment ready. Marriage can be considered a legal status you enter to define your legal standing with another individual. Before you get married, sign up for marital coaching. Monogamy is a term to describe a dynamic where you have sex with only one particular person and refuse to have sex with others. Learn the basics of monogamy and non-monogamy. The issue with these particular words is that people may directly associate a word on the above list to be the equivalent of one, or more, of the others words. Even though we can define each word differently, we may make emotional connections with these particular words that cause us to substitute one word on the list for the other words. For example, a person may feel that marriage is the exact same thing as monogamy. A person may feel that having sex with someone means having someone's love. A person may even feel that simply dating someone for a few casual coffee dates automatically implies a deep commitment. A person may assume that the more lusty attraction they feel for someone, the more they are in love with that person. This is what makes these certain 7 words intriguingly weird. These words, which intellectually can be understood to be clear and separate, get muddled through multiple shades of gray on deeper emotional levels. It is the realistic person that does not assume commitment when dating, until that commitment is earned and publicly stated. It is the emotionally mature lover that grasps that having sex or lust for someone is not necessarily an expression of any loving attachment beyond the attraction nor physical act. It is the millions of happily married couples in the swinger lifestyle who will attest that being married does not equate monogamy. The understanding that each of these words is unique and separate from the other words is a key ingredient to the beginning stages of getting your love life in order. It is a part of the self-actualization process and achieving clarity in relationships that a person must come to terms that each word does not mean exactly the same thing as any of those other words. One of the best ways to fully grasp this first step concept is to ask yourself if you can experience any one of those terms, without experiencing any other of those terms. For example, is it possible to be in a marriage that is devoid of lust, love, sex, having dated, commitment, or monogamy? The answer of course is yes. There are loveless marriages, sexless marriages, arranged marriages that never involved dating, marriages of convenience where the couple are married but simply are not commitment to each other beyond some kind of materialist exchange, and there are married couples that are non-monogamous where the couple, individually or together as a couple, engage in open consensual sex with other people. This is not about infidelity nor cheating, as there is neither deception nor lying, as both partners of the couple are involved and consenting in the extra-marital sex. Marriage can exist completely independently of all those other terms. This is an example of the clarity that is required to properly handle your relationship mismanagement behaviors. If you want to fully figure out where you might be making incorrect word associations when it comes to your relationship expectations, go through each word and write out if the one word could exist without any of the other words in association. This exercise can be a revelation to some people, and reality shattering for others. You must never assume that other people will interpret those 7 words the same way you do; that is what makes them weird. These words are some of the most commonly misunderstood words when wrangling with relationships, and at the same time these are the same words that are significantly used in correlations to define what is a relationship. If you want to learn more about how to understand and master your dating and relationship skills: Learn more about self awareness and self actualization by checking out the coaching workbooks For Men: I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB WORKBOOK EBOOK For Women: I'M A WOMAN, IT'S MY TIME EBOOK Learn the Complete The Emotional Needs Mastery System Check out the Benefits of COACHING Video Top 3 Reasons To Sleep With A Younger Man A-sap
Guest Post by Anna Jorgensen, Wingmam An Older Woman Should Sleep With A Younger Man —Here’s Why Even after I managed to find a man who wanted to marry me with all my self-perceived physical—and real personality—flaws, I wasn’t yet over self-esteem so low you’d step on it. Every woman has an area they feel “less than” about, whether it’s body image, financial status, smarts or sex appeal, we’ve all got something we wish was “better” about us. It’s still commonly accepted for an older man to sleep with (or be with) a younger woman, but for an older woman to sleep with a younger man, well, there’s still a few hushed words heard over that role reversal. My husband was 16 years older than me and a good man. He adored me. But… In my case, I was so insecure-- How insecure?-- I was sooo insecure… I took the CD covers out of their cases if they contained a sexy woman’s image. Celine Dion? Bye. Shania Twain? So gone! I was sooo insecure that even after a dozen years with my husband I still felt uncomfortable getting undressed in front of him. And even though my husband was, and still is, a good man, he couldn’t (and didn’t try) to “fix me.” I had to do that part. Ultimately, that part didn’t happen until after we divorced. The next guy I met was 11 years younger than me and the model of fitness and hotness and, having let myself slide in the hot bod department during my marriage, I didn’t feel sexy at all. For whatever reason, he desired me anyway. At first I tried to think of all the reasons to sleep with a younger man, like if I could rationalize it to myself I’d somehow build confidence overnight. But then I thought, “This was my do (him) or die” moment. I was at the climax (pun) of my own movie where I could step up and become the heroine—or slink back to the rest of my life feeling like a loser. I said, “F’ it!” and went for it. Him. I acted “as if” I was secure and hot and worthy and sexy AF. I got naked in the middle of the day in broad daylight. I didn’t body shame myself or restrict my movements to hide my flaws. I didn’t ask for validation and I didn’t make apologies. And doing this was one of the first and biggest steps I took to conquering low self-esteem. Now, I’m Wonder Woman, at least in my own mind, no longer wondering if I’m good enough but instead courageous and empowered—plus there’s the whole cape accessory! So, if you’ve ever wondered why an older woman should sleep with a younger man… Top 3 Reasons An Older Woman Should Sleep With A Younger Man A-sap 1. Virility. Bam! As in: bam, bam, thank you ma’am. 2. Boosts naked-self esteem. 3. Teach a young dog some new tricks. If you feel so inclined, just do it (him)! Anna Jorgensen is a dating coach for men in Vancouver, Canada and founder of www.Wingmam.com. She offers online programs (for men and women) on how to understand the opposite sex, get sexy and find love. Is Your Fantasy Keeping You Single?
Holding Out for a Fantasy when Dating By Frank Kermit Fantasies can be fun. Imagining new adventures, exploring new life times, pretending to envision the effects of choices you could have or still can make, is a wondrous way to see what your life could be like. In dating, however, those same warm, wonderful fantasies could be at the very source of why a person perpetually remains single. Holding out for a fantasy is one of the mistakes that singles make that keeps them single. This is not to be confused with a person who has such high standards that he or she ends up just too picky to end their stay in the world of singledom. Although both have roots in unreasonable expectations, the difference here is that a person with higher standards may have not yet made the interrogation of figuring out what they have as an absolute boundary, and what is merely a preference for their love life. A person who is holding out for a fantasy is trapped in a dream world, clinging to the hope that a mere mortal human being will do impossible feats (such as agree with everything you say, and hang on your every whim, and only live to serve your needs). The fantasy holder is willing to pass up real people who are good candidates for dating because of the real flaws that all humans have. Some people who are trapped holding out for a fantasy may have been hypnotizing themselves for years (even from the time of their childhood) of what their future soul mate will look like, pegged that person’s career or social status, and have already planned out how they will meet, to the point where they scripted the entire perfect dialogue of what that person will say to ignite the ultimate chemistry. (Evidently, a decently good-looking stranger approaching them in regular conversation saying they should hang out is just not good enough to merit a chat over a cup of coffee.) The fantasy is like an award nominated story, turned into an award-winning movie with just the right mix of romance, suspense, drama, passion and of course, humor. Almost brings a tear to the eye, at the euphoric climatic moment of the fantasy when the chance meeting turns into true love. Sadly, however, when fantasy comes crashing into concrete reality, reality tends to win. There is no real human being that can win when in competition with an internal fantasy. Human beings, and for that matter real life, simply cannot beat a succulent well-crafted fantasy of dating love and romance. Real human beings do real things like blow their nose, get nervous, sweat, and have their own unique idiosyncrasies that can be charming in their own right, but generally a potential turn off if unknowingly going up against a hot brash fantasy concoction. Singles, who are drunk on their own fantasy potion, tend to remain single. Perhaps that is a good thing, as it takes a certain level of maturity to merit a serious long term relationship, and a person lost in a fantasy world of how dating is supposed to be, tends not to be the kind of partner that can be counted on, regardless of how well intention-ed their hearts might be. Stay real people. Learn The Emotional Needs Mastery System Check out the Benefits of COACHING Dating Dilemmas 79, this is Frank Kermit's 120th appearance on Passion radio program. Airs on Montreal CJAD 800 's and Toronto Newstalk 1010 CFRB. Frank Kermit joins producer and host Dr Laurie Betito and Fritz-Gerald of Elite Speed Dating to talk about the Dating Dilemmas people face. What does a person go through starting over when dating? How does a person get over an ex, or move on from a break up? Is it good to get right back out there and date after a break up? What is some good speed dating advice? How does a person get over unrequited love? When your ex starts to date someone else before you do? Montreal, Toronto and Nova Scotia Starting Over after V-day? By Frank Kermit Valentine's day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to Valentine's Day as "V-day". Aside from being a day where romantically involved people are encouraged (expected? pressured?) to express their affections for one another, V-day is also a day of reflect, where people reassess their romantic relations (or lack thereof). If they are single, it reminds them of the pleasures that come with being with someone. If they are already attached, a re-evaluation is in order, which could lead to a break up and starting all over again, having to meet someone new, and go through the ups and downs (and the honeymoon phase) to the point where you get comfortable enough that when V-day strikes again, you see if your current relationship can survive the new re-evaluation. Any wonders why there is a growing trend of anti-Valentines day parties emerging to mark the day? For some, starting over may include deciding to actively pursue the end of their residence in the realm of Singledom. To make the firm decision that they will make whatever efforts are needed to put themselves out there, meet new people, become more socially calibrated, develop a little charisma and meet someone they can have a functional relationship with. It is not just about Starting Over from a previous relationship, it may very well be about completely Starting Over and learning to have a life with passion. For those of you starting over, here is something to keep in mind: One of the Frank Secrets of Success is that you do not wait to "feel like it" before you do it. You do it, whether or not you feel like it. That means if you have the choice of staying home or going out to meet people, you Get-Out-There even if you don't feel like going anywhere. Staying at home and feeling sorry for yourself will keep you at home feeling sorry for yourself. This could also mean to start letting your friends and family know that you are ready and open to meeting someone, and giving any potential partner introduced to you the opportunity of at least one date to sweep you off your feet, regardless if your first impression of that person is less than exciting. One date does not make a relationship, and the sooner you get out there and discover new people, the sooner you will meet a future soul mate. If the date goes nowhere, no worries! You got out there, likely learned something new about yourself and hopefully had a little fun in the process. I have had some bad V-days and some good V-days. The most horrible was the V-day that I lost one of my most serious long-term partners, which cut me deeply. However, one of the more intriguing V-days was the one that hosted my first venture into a Fetish Night Club. I was alone at the time (having my lover end it with me over the phone) and figured that I had a choice. I could stay home and sulk, or head out and try something new. So I made a firm choice to try something new and educated myself about a different lifestyle. Am I suggesting that you all go to a Fetish Night Club? Nope. What I am suggesting is that if there is something that you have been meaning to try, the transition period of starting over is a great time to try it. That does not mean you will automatically find what you are looking for. In fact, all you may find out is that those things that you thought you were interested in aren't really all that you had hoped. If nothing else it could be an exercise in the process of elimination about what you do and do not actually like. However, even that kind of process is still a step forward and it means that you will be a step closer to finding the real you. When you find the real you, then finding your relationship true, will be a result of paying your self-discovery dues. I wish you all an emotionally healthy V-day recovery! Check out The Benefits of Frank Coaching and Sign Up! @emotionalneeds #startingover #feb14 #feb15 #february14 #feb14th #february14th #valentinesday #bemyvalentine #valentineday #vday #singlelife #single #singleawarenessday #sad #heartbroken #heartbreak #broken #hurt #imissyou #breakup #depressing #lovequotes #alone #hearts #heart #cupid #cupidsarrow #marriageproposalideas #marriageproposalfails #engagementseason #gethitched #breakup #ghosted #dumped
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