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One of the faults in sugar arrangements is “the girlfriend experience,” he said. “By behaving and doing things that couples normally do, they start to have emotional attachments that they didn’t anticipate,” he said.
This includes such things as public displays of affection and going on dates. “The girlfriend experience” creates the potential for feelings of jealousy, which can cause turmoil in the arrangement for both parties, he said.
It is also often difficult for sugar babies to support themselves financially once their arrangement is over, as they are accustomed to a certain way of life, he said.
“If any of these sugar daddies cut them off, they’re not necessarily used to earning their own money through other means,” he said.
Kermit recalled in an interview that he counselled a sugar baby who dropped out of university once she found a sugar daddy.
“When someone is getting that kind of money on a regular basis, school may not be a priority for them anymore,” he said.
It isn’t just the sugar babies affected by this kind of arrangement either. In his experience, many sugar daddies he has counselled have become “socially dull,” he said. Once their arrangement is over, sugar daddies often do not know how to act around other women when they are not paying for their services, he said. The same behaviors that had been accepted by sugar babies, are no longer accepted by women these sugar daddies meet afterward, he said.
Sugar arrangements aren’t without benefit however. “Whether it’s money, whether it’s getting sex, or whether it’s getting certain experiences this person wouldn’t get without this arrangement, there is a positive,” he said. “That’s why people do it.”
People can often experiment with sexual fetishes in sugar relationships that they may be too nervous to try in conventional relationships, he said. Since all aspects of the arrangement are negotiated beforehand, these fetishes can be discussed early on. “Be clear about your boundaries and stick to them,” he said.
“The best way to make sugar relationships healthier is to stop calling it a relationship,” he said. “Call it what it is. Call it an arrangement.”
About The Author
My name is Sarah Do Couto and I’m a Ryerson University journalism student. I have a passion for writing about all things odd and unconventional.I was born and raised in Hamilton and grew up as a self-proclaimed theatre nerd.
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