Every couple goes through ups and downs as these are a part of life. It does not matter how many years they have been in a relationship. It is how perfectly they have been taking care of their partnership. They can have some inspiring secrets to show you the way to stick together as you come of age. Take lessons from these happily-aging couples and try to find your way to a stronger bond. Here are the best secrets of happily-aging couples for an enduring relationship.
They embrace changes happily
In reality, a successful marriage is one in which both the partners respect each other and embrace the changes happily. These could be physical, financial, or emotional changes. They take time to learn and understand each other’s goals, plans and dreams for a better tomorrow. Respect and mutual understanding between mature partners are the two main pillars that bind them together in a lasting bond.
They fight fairly
Who does not fight in a relationship? Happy couples also have a fair share of fights and arguments. But the ego does not have a place in a strong relationship. Happy aging couples settle everything calmly and do not let anything affect their bond. True power is in discussing and knowing the differences between the two. So, it is important to let go of personal ego and focus on saving the relationship.
They find new ways to play
Getting stuck in the same boring routine may affect the relationship as it ages. Successful couples find ways to ignite excitement and love over the years. They experiment in bed to keep monotony at bay. Using a real whizzinator XXX is a great idea to spice up your bedroom life. Many happy couples rely on it to keep the spark alive. Just hit the right pleasure points and reduce the hard work!
They remain physically connected
Age is just a number when it comes to relationships. Staying connected physically enables partners to thrive over the years. They always find ways to kiss, hug, and touch to create intimacy in their bond. They are happy because they combat and face the emotional and physical challenges and still maintain a connection. In simple words, demonstrations of affection and love never go out of style.
They welcome the challenges of aging
A strong partnership is one where both partners accept the challenges of aging as they come. They know the vulnerability that comes with each passing year. But, they remain with each other and talk about health and the future. These mature partners are ready to face the future with courage and love. These qualities make a relationship more beautiful and rock-solid.
Love is not a matter of sheer luck. Much more goes into a strong partnership. Building it requires unconditional honesty, togetherness, and trust. Create a balance and try new things to keep the attraction growing over the years. You will not have to worry about drifting apart with these easy relationship secrets of happily aging couples who have been together forever.
Unfortunately, you might be like a good chunk of the population and be struggling with your confidence and self-esteem. This is okay and usually, nothing to worry about, it happens to the best of us. Occasionally, problems with confidence and self-esteem can lead to more serious issues such as anxiety and depression. If you want to avoid this happening then take a look at this article for some helpful tips.
If you are struggling with your confidence then getting out with your loved ones or those close to you is a great way to distract yourself. Distraction is key to not thinking about why you have lost your confidence. It may be due to a previous toxic relationship, these can be very draining and what has been said sticks with you for a while. Going out with your family and friends can prove to you that you are loved and wanted, leading to a huge boost in your confidence levels.
If you are wanting to find new interesting people to meet then why not listen to a dating-themed podcast for young professionals. This will give you some top tips about how to act with people and how to carry on that relationship after the first date.
If you feel like your loss of confidence has been caused by your hair then there are ways to fix this. This is an immediate fix and can instantly make you feel better. You can style it differently at home or you can add a splash of colour if you fancy a change. There are plenty of box dyes that you can get your hands on if you don’t fancy venturing out to the salon.
If you do want to visit a hair salon then hairdressers are very adept at transforming people. When you look in the mirror you will see a whole new person. Think about what you want, maybe even show the hairdresser a couple of pictures and they will have an idea about what to do.
They can completely change up your hair, you might have long luscious hair but want it short. They will cut it and style it into a short bob or other short hairstyle. You can also get it coloured the way you want at a salon. Go big and bold, show the world you have nothing to hide.
Finally, if you open your wardrobe every morning and are faced with the same dread at not being able to find anything to wear then you are not alone. This is a common occurrence in households. You might have outgrown your current style so you no longer feel comfortable in what you wear. This is another quick and easy fix. Take a visit to the local store and see what you can get your hands on. You could even take advantage of the local personal shopper service. This is where the assistant listens to what you want to wear and brings you different outfits to try on.
The great thing about a personal shopper service is there is absolutely no pressure to buy what they bring you. You can try it on and decide if it is for you, if not simply hand it back. They will go to all lengths to make you happy and leave with some new clothes for a new you.
If you suffer from a lack of self-confidence, then it is important that you find ways to start looking and feeling more attractive. The way you feel about yourself is inextricably linked to the way you look. It doesn’t matter who you are. You can do many things to become a much better version of yourself. Increasing your self-confidence will have a knock-on effect across the who of your life. It may improve your career prospects, your love life, and your family life as well as making it more likely that you will step outside your comfort zone. So, lets a have a look at some easy you can look and feel better.
If you want to look and feel better, then you really should start by increasing your level of exercise. Exercise has such a major impact on how we feel that if it could be bottled and sold, it would be. Exercise increases the amount of a chemical in the body called endorphins which enable us to feel happy. Exercise also physically makes you look better. It allows you to lose weight and tone your muscles. You can use it alongside things such as shredded af to maximize fat loss. Physical activity can also boost our immune system, so if you are one that is prone to illness, than you really should start to embrace that treadmill.
Instead of focusing on the negative in your life and constantly repeating those in your head, give yourself a pep talk instead. You should point out all the good things about yourself to yourself, and this will give you an extra boost. If you focus on positive qualities and give them attention, you will find that you become happier. You will become less withdrawn, and other people will start to notice. It is all about how you view yourself. So, big yourself up and focus on the positives. We all have them.
A great way to boost how you feel is to go out and buy yourself a new wardrobe. If there is a job you want to go for, why not dress the part. How you dress will have a huge impact on how other people view you. If you dress up in a suit, or some nice jeans and a jumper you give a great first impression. Dress shabbily, and people will see you as shabby.
Cut Out Toxicity
There is usually someone in your life that manages to bring you down and make you feel worse after you have seen them. These people dwell on the negative and never see anything positive. They will moan and bicker. Well, maybe it is about time you cut that person from your life. If you want to feel better, you need to find people who bring you up and stick around someone who keeps you down in the dumps. If you can manage to cut out toxicity from your life, you will begin to feel freer and happier as a result.
If the fire has gone from your relationship, you may be worried that this means your relationship is coming to an end. Or, you may simply assume that this is a natural progression that starts to happen when we get older. However, it does not need to be this way. While a lot of couples can reach a point where the intimacy stops, there is often a valid reason for this. With that being said, we’re going to take a look at some of the different reasons why the intimacy may end in a relationship.
As you can see, there are a lot of different reasons why couples start to lose intimacy in their relationship. However, this does not mean that it is lost forever. The first place to start is by understanding why the intimacy stopped, to begin with. Once you understand this, you can then start to take the steps that are required to get the fire back into your life.
"It is not unusual for people with mental conditions to be treated as though they are different or even "crazy." Mental disorders are severe medical conditions that affect millions of men, women, and children worldwide. Yet because of stigma, prejudice, and discrimination, many people live in silence about their mental health problems. World statistics indicate that 300 million people suffer from depression worldwide, which is only the people diagnosed. As a result, most mental conditions are misunderstood. Many of these conditions are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and can be treated with medication and therapy. People who suffer from these disorders can be given tools to cope with the disorder and lead a normal life. With the help of a psychiatrist and a strong support system of people who are willing to educate themselves on these conditions, most people can successfully be treated.
It has been referred to as "Manic Depression," which is inaccurate because it does not accurately describe what Bipolar Disorder entails. Bipolar disorder causes shifts in moods between depression and mania. This can happen daily or weekly instead of just once or twice per year, like the "once in a while" version of Manic Depression would suggest.People who are bipolar may also experience periods with no symptoms, often called euthymia or wellness. This can be extremely confusing for the individual because there is nothing to differentiate between being well and not-well other than looking back on past behavior compared with current behavior.
-Mania is a state in which the individual feels exceedingly happy and excited about life, almost to the point of feeling invincible. During these periods, it can be difficult for friends or family members to get through because they are often met with irritability, impatience, stubbornness - you name it! The person experiencing mania may also feel like they are on top of the world, with an increased sex drive and decreased need for sleep.
-The depressive state is often filled with hopelessness, lack of motivation or interest in activities that would generally bring joy to them, irritability towards friends/family members (even if they're trying their hardest), along with significant changes in appetite.
Gender Identity Dysphoria
A condition in which an individual feels that they are not the gender they were born with. The disorder causes significant distress and problems functioning because of these feelings. People with this disorder often feel like "outcasts" and may even attempt suicide. An estimated one in 30,000 males and one in 100,000 females seek treatment for the condition. This might be the most controversial disorder as many people disagree on how a child with this disorder should be treated. Some treatment options for this condition include hormone replacement therapy or gender reassignment surgery. Other methods may consist of psychiatric help and medication.
An interesting study on My Transgender Blog has found that transwomen are three times more likely to come out than transmen. Overall, the study found that transwomen come out at a younger age compared to transmen. This study also showed that transgender people often first come out to their mothers and friends, and one out of 10 people want to tell their spouses first. Many transgender people reported that it is not as bad coming out as they thought, but many people also noted that there are negative consequences to coming out.
Overall many transgender people are afraid that people will reject them when they come out, but this study shows that a lot of people have a positive experience.
Sex addiction is another disorder that has until recently been misunderstood by society. Sex addiction symptoms may include obsessive sexual thoughts, sexual fantasies, urges to act out sexually, and compulsive behavior with multiple sexual partners. In addition, people suffering from this disorder lie to cover behavior. Sex addiction can have debilitating effects that interfere with sufferers' daily lives, like their jobs and family. People suffering from sex addiction might also endanger themselves for sexual gratification and feel guilty after such sexual experiences.
Although no consensus exists on what constitutes addiction or how it should be defined, some research suggests that the brain responses seen in people with addictions are similar to those linked with other disorders, including alcoholism and drug abuse.
Sex addiction requires specialized treatment to overcome the disease and attend a sex rehab center where therapists have experience treating sex addicts with cognitive behavioral therapy techniques specifically designed to treat sex addiction.
Dissociative Personality Disorder
Previously known as multiple personality disorder. People diagnosed with this mental disorder have experienced a separation of the mind and often switch between two or more personalities that control their behavior.
Dissociative Identity Disorder is not just having different personas but being unable to recall personal information because these experiences are so deeply repressed. As a result, it is not uncommon for someone who has this disorder to experience blackouts.
Treatment can be complex because the patient has to integrate all of their personalities into one. This is done through hypnosis and psychoanalysis, which can take years, but it helps bring together aspects of personality that were once separate.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
It is characterized as a "pervasive pattern" of grandiosity, or in other words, an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement. People with this disorder often seek excessive attention. They crave admiration even when it is not given. They feel entitled to special treatment and often exploit and manipulate others to get what they want while ignoring social norms or rules of conduct.
The critical thing to remember about people with narcissistic personality disorder is that they are not "bad" or intentionally acting out. Instead, NPD often suffers immensely because of it and frequently feels deep shame, guilt, and remorse for their behavior towards others, even if it is not intentional. They also often suffer from depression and anxiety and may abuse drugs or alcohol to cope with these feelings. Treatment options for people with NPD typically involve psychotherapy, in which the therapist helps identify and understand problem areas while also encouraging positive behavior through reinforcement.
The fact is that mental disorders are still very misunderstood by the general public, even today. There is a great deal of stigma associated with these issues. People can be incredibly judgmental about it without prior knowledge or experience regarding what they are talking about. This lack of understanding often leads to exclusion rather than inclusion for those struggling with a mental disorder. It can make the person feel as though they are alone and that nobody understands what they are going through, which is not always true. People need to talk about their struggles openly to see how much support exists from those around them. Mental disorders do not discriminate; anyone of any race, gender, age, or socioeconomic status can be affected by one. The sooner people understand this and start changing their views on mental disorders, the better it will become for those struggling.
There are many ways to support friends and family members who identify as LGBTQ. Whether you are coming out yourself, supporting a partner or child, or just looking for resources to help someone in your life, there is always something that can be done. This blog post will explore ways people can show their love and understanding for their LGBTQ friends and family members.
First, you can learn about the LGBTQ community. The more people know about what it means to be gay or transgender, the better they will understand their loved ones and friends who are members of this community. Learning is empowering, so get together with your family member or friend for a grab-and-go lunch where they can fill you in on all the latest information and research or read a book together.
Educating yourself will show that you value your loved one's identity and want to learn more about it. It would help if you also did some research into what steps would be helpful for people who are coming out - whether they're still figuring things out themselves or are ready to come out and be open about their identity.
Another way that you can support your loved ones is by providing resources for them, especially if they are new to the LGBTQ community. One excellent resource is PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays). The organization has chapters all over the country with professional counselors available to help with coming out or being an ally. Another resource is The Trevor Project, which has a 24/seven hotline for young people who identify as LGBTQ and might be in crisis. Giving your loved ones resources like these can make it easier for them to come out if they want to or feel better about their identity.
Know And Understand Their Challenges
Being a supportive friend or family member means understanding their challenges and making sure they're aware that you will support them all the way. The first step is simply lending an ear and asking them how you can help if anything at all. Make it clear from the beginning that your support will always be unconditional and non-judgmental.
My Transgender Blog recently posted an educational and interesting article about the transgender community and on the coming-out experience of transwomen. This blog is educational and can teach you about the fears and excitement of coming out and revealing yourself to friends and family. The study has found that transwomen are three times more likely to come out than transmen. Overall, the study found that transwomen come out at a younger age compared to transmen. The study also showed that transgender people often first come out to their mothers and friends, and one out of 10 people want to tell their spouses first. Many transgender people reported that it is not as bad coming out as they thought, but many people also noted negative consequences. However, overall the study showed that despite many people's fears of coming out, most people had a positive experience.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Another good step is to avoid making assumptions about their experiences or being too curious. This can set the wrong tone for what you're trying to accomplish all together - which is helping them through a difficult time. So take care not to make presumptions about the challenges they face in everyday life - and resist the urge to ask too many questions about their past experiences. This is especially important when it comes to asking personal questions that they may not feel comfortable answering right away, or ever at all. So let them do most of the talking in these conversations - and don't pressure them into sharing more than they're ready for if you sense discomfort.
Send A Message Of Support To Your Loved One
Another way that you can support your loved one who is new to the LGBTQ community is by sending them messages of hope and love! For example, you might write something along these lines: "I want you to know that no matter what happens with your coming out journey, you will always have me. I love and care about you so much." Also, if your friend is not out to their family members yet but might be soon, let them know that they can tell their family when and how they feel comfortable and safe doing so.
Be Patient When Discussing Identity
When talking about their identity, it's important to remember that this is an ongoing process. Some have been through the journey for a while now, and there are others still exploring what they want out of life in terms of sexual orientation or gender expression - so be patient with them both when discussing these issues. Remember that this is their journey to take at their own pace. As a friend or family member of someone who identifies as LGBTQ, you can help by simply listening - ask questions if you want to know more but do not press the person if they are hesitant to share.
If you have questions about their identity or how it affects them, remember that this is a safe space for your friend/family member, so feel free to ask - but know the context in which these conversations occur. For example, if someone has just come out and is still processing what being LGBTQ means to them, it may not be the best time to ask these questions.
Talking About Identity With Children
Children might still be in the process of discovery, but letting them know you are there and open to talking to them about it will make them feel comfortable exploring and coming to terms with whatever they decide. Therefore, there is no wrong time to bring this up, and it's okay if the conversation takes a little while before you broach the topic of sexuality or gender.
If they ask questions about sexual orientation and gender identity, answer them as simply as possible without going into too much depth for now. If your child seems confused by this, they may be too young to understand the topic thoroughly, and you can tell them that they don't need to know everything right now. It's okay for your child not to care about their sexual orientation or gender identity at a younger age; it's perfectly normal for someone to wait until their teenage years before figuring these things out.
LGBTQ people of all ages and experiences need support from their friends and family, especially those just beginning this journey. They will likely face a lot more adversity than someone with years of experience. So if you want to help your friend or family member feel supported, listen to what they are going through and be there for them.
You've gotten engaged! Congratulations! Choosing an engagement ring, or even a wedding band, is now the exciting part of the process. Whether you're looking for engagement or wedding rings, we've got all the information you need.
Finding the ideal diamond for your preferences is something that many people take for granted. Diamonds come in a variety of colours, sizes, and shapes. It's important that the one you pick is one that you'll cherish for the rest of your life. Examine your options and decide if you want a perfect diamond that dazzles and wows, or whether you'd be content with a quaint little gem on your finger. Keep in mind that immaculate diamonds will almost certainly set you back an extortionate amount.
We know, it's a very obvious thing to consider. On the other hand, people sometimes choose rings that are somewhat bigger in order to avoid the possibility of getting their finger stuck. Make an appointment to get your wedding ring finger properly measured. Many jewellery stores will do this for you at no cost, but keep a note of your size if you aren't planning on purchasing from that particular store. Keep in mind that you may get your ring adjusted if it becomes too little or too big for your finger. You can order a ring measurement tool if you’re choosing to buy your rings online. Brilliant Earth can send one to you for free to measure your fingers before ordering.
Consider the colour of your wedding bands before venturing out to find your wedding rings. Do you want your engagement ring to be accompanied by a classic gold ring? Would you prefer to have your ring made of white gold or platinum, which you can flaunt proudly on your ring finger? Platinum, on the other hand, is significantly more costly than gold.
When a couple becomes engaged, they might have a personal statement or phrase inscribed on the inside of their wedding band. If this is something you're interested in, talk to your jeweller about how much it would cost to have this done for you and your spouse. Remember that the wording or message must be brief enough to fit in a ring while still having meaning for you. "I love you" is a frequent choice.
The cost of your wedding rings has been covered briefly throughout this piece. Before you go shopping for your engagement rings, make sure you and your partner have agreed on a budget. Set a limit for yourself that you will not be able to exceed. This way, you may specify your pricing range to the jeweller and choose from their selection. Alternatively, if you want to shop online, you may input your maximum price and browse the options.
That concludes the complete guide on purchasing wedding/engagement rings. Remember that you'll be proudly wearing your rings for the rest of your life, so even if you're on a budget, why not go all out and get each other wonderful rings to honour your love?
So many of our feelings and emotions are linked to our health; it’s incredible when you know how everything you are thinking of can have an actual, physical impact on your body – and vice versa. It makes sense, then, that your relationship status and how you feel about that can also determine how you feel when it comes to your health.
You can feel it happening. Love gives us a natural, physical reaction that includes a quickened heart rate, dilated pupils, ‘butterflies’ in the stomach, sweaty palms, and it can even make it hard to speak or find the right words to say.
Studies have shown that those in a committed, happy relationship tend to be healthier (and even live longer) than those who are single. Yet it’s not quite as simple as that. There are many things that go into how your love life affects your health.
If you’ve ever noticed that you put on a little (or perhaps a lot) of weight once you are in a stable relationship, there could be a good reason for it. Once you are happy with someone and comfortable with your body around them, many will stop trying quite so hard to keep fit, and the weight will start to gain. So, although putting on weight might be a sign of a happy relationship, it’s not good for your health.
If you find that you and your partner have become heavier since moving in together or marrying, for example, you can do something about it. Using that same partnership that allowed the weight to come in the first place, you can go out and exercise together, join the same gym, or even attend the same class. If you set weight loss goals as a couple, losing the weight should be easier than trying to do it separately.
Your Stress Levels
People who have sex regularly are a lot less stressed than those who don’t. That’s because sex reduces your blood pressure levels by increasing the level of serotonin (the happy hormone) and reducing the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. That gives you a good balance of the right kinds of hormones, and you’ll feel fantastic; you won’t feel stressed.
The more often you have sex, the better you’ll be able to react when it comes to stressful situations, and you’ll be a much calmer person in general. This is why being compatible in bed is actually more important than many people realize. If you feel that this is an issue, it might be time to shake things up. You can learn about Wild Flower’s pursuit of genderless toys leads to The Enby 2, and start a new exciting chapter in your sex life.
Getting the right amount of sleep each night is essential for your good health. Sleeping well for around seven to eight hours a night will help you to lose weight, make you more productive, lower your blood pressure, protect you from heart disease and heart attacks, reduce your chances of stroke and type II diabetes, and even stop some cancers from forming (although other factors will, of course, come into play here).
When you sleep next to someone you totally trust and really love, you will sleep better because you will be more relaxed. Of course, if your partner keeps stealing the covers or snores, then it might not be the most relaxing sleep you have ever had, but if this is the case, there are ways to fix the issues, such as using a tool that keeps the covers in place and wearing earplugs.
Expert Dating and Relationship Coach Frank Kermit is quoted in an article about a new AMC series
Image © Zach Dilgard/AMC
AMC’s “Kevin Can F**k Himself" Proves We Don’t Need Misogyny for a Laugh
While it might not be the wisest place to look, seeking out a role model in the characters we see portrayed on television and in movies happens all the time. This is typically harmless, leading us to hold the noble, honest, and exceedingly good-natured superhero like Captain America in such high regard, or applaud the actions of a kind and caring father figure like Uncle Phil on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. But for every Uncle Phil we applaud, there’s about ten Peter Griffins being the worst kind of person.
Sitcom husbands and fathers, typically serving as the central comedic forces of these particular shows, have gotten away with bad behavior for decades. And as audience members, we sat back and laughed right along with them.
What’s more, the creators of these sitcoms — The King of Queens, Still Standing and According to Jim, to name a few — have often followed what author and screenwriter Gillian Flynn once termed the “fatty-gets-a-family” formula, which she described as a working-class doof of a husband landing a mysteriously hot wife while seemingly caring much more about TV, beer, and sports than his own partner or kids. While that formula might be successful at producing some chuckles, it also leaves this question unanswered: Are these kinds of oddball pairings truly realistic? And if we were to go even further, are these really the kinds of male role models we should be taking our cues from?
Kevin Can F**k Himself, a new AMC series that premiered in June, asks viewers to consider these types of questions. The show keeps the model of a boorish, immature man paired with an attractive female partner (Annie Murphy of Schitt’s Creek fame), but turns the dynamic on its head by revealing the very unfunny behind-the-scenes reality that might exist if this husband-wife relationship played out in real life. Mixing brightly-lit sets and the ambience of audience laughter typical of sitcoms with gritty, darker-hued scenes more akin to television dramas, Kevin Can F**k Himself is a satire of family-oriented sitcoms that uncovers the emotional scars left in the wake of too many crude jokes cracked at a woman’s expense.
Right from the jump, it’s clear the writers of the show are determined to highlight the kind of over-the-top bad behavior men have been getting away with in sitcoms for years. The first episode of Kevin Can F**k Himself opens with husband Kevin playing a round of beer pong in the middle of the living room with his best friend and next-door neighbor Neil, as Kevin’s dad and Neil’s sister spectate from the couch. As soon as wife Allison enters the room from the kitchen carrying a laundry basket, she’s hit by a stray shot from Neil. Before she has the chance to say anything, Neil throws his hands up and jokingly says, “Sorry, mom!”
The sitcom-style scene continues with Allison asking her husband if, instead of throwing an “anniversa-rager” (as they’ve seemingly done for their nine previous wedding anniversaries), they could have a grown-up dinner together, seeing as they’ve both reached their mid-thirties. Kevin responds: “Yeah, but you’re ‘lady 35’ and I’m ‘boy 35’ ... I’m just hitting my prime, and you...” trailing off before course correcting, unconvincingly, in a higher-pitched voice, “are, too.”
Moments later, Allison announces that dinner’s almost ready and asks that beer pong be put on hold. The other characters groan loudly before Neil says, “Now, see, this is why I call you mom.” Kevin momentarily comes to her defense (“Someone has to be responsible,” he says) before tossing his empty beer mug at her and asking for refills.
It’s when Allison walks back into the other room that the tone of the show does a 180. Compared to the brightly-lit living room, the kitchen is overly dark and dramatic. A high-pitched sound grows louder and louder as she sets the laundry basket down that she was holding, squeezing her eyes shut tight as if fighting off a migraine, only for an empty glass mug to shatter on the countertop as an apparent representation of her feelings after what’s just transpired in the other room.
Chris Luna, head dating coach with Craft of Charisma, ascribes one word to Allison and Kevin’s relationship: toxic. However, he says this is a reflection of both of them.
“Kevin is awful,” says Luna. “I can’t imagine any man watching the show and thinking, ‘I want to be that guy’. But what type of woman would choose to stay in a relationship like that? What type of woman gets into a relationship with a guy like that?”
A fair question, sure, but it’s also exactly the point the show creators are trying to make. All those fictional sitcom marriages we’ve grown accustomed to seeing over the years — Doug and Carrie in The King of Queens, Jim and Cheryl in According to Jim, Bill and Judy in Still Standing — just aren’t that realistic. In direct violation of the so-called “matching hypothesis,” which Dr. Sean M. Horan, a social psychologist, describes as our penchant for dating “individuals with similar levels of physical attractiveness,” sitcoms often pair two people who wouldn’t generally sync with one another in the real world for comedic effect.
These made-for-television mismatches are applauded as the on-screen husband belittles his partner in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, typically by making her the butt of the joke. In Kevin Can F**k Himself, this dynamic is cranked up to 11 with nearly all of Kevin’s lines serving to demean Allison when the two are in a room together. It’s only when we observe her by herself that we see (from her unique POV) just how much of an impact Kevin’s actions have on her. In the first episode, his button-pushing antics ultimately lead to Allison fantasizing about stabbing him in the neck with a broken beer bottle.
“In TV relationships, the dysfunctional husband has turned into a comedic trope,” explains Luna. “Husbands are often portrayed as incapable idiots, while wives are portrayed as smart and capable and good and living with an ongoing male burden. In the first episode of Kevin Can F**k Himself, it’s clear that the show is building upon this idea, and then expanding into and exploring the wife’s anger.”
He goes on, saying that with his career, he sees and hears the problems people struggle with on a regular basis.
“Although it’s true that on some level people are the source for the problems in their life, it’s often more complicated,” notes Luna. “The types of problems we see in modern sitcoms are not accurately reflective of the types of problems or the relationship dynamics that I see in real life with clients — and the men and women I meet in real life aren’t anything like the people I see on these shows.”
Some would argue, however, that the relationships and situations that we see play out in these sitcoms aren’t really meant to translate to real life.
“The entertainment industry is not concerned with educating audiences about relationships,” notes dating coach Frank Kermit. “The entertainment industry is only interested in one thing: entertaining you in a way that turns a profit.”
To be clear, Kermit does not say this as an indictment of the entertainment industry; he’s not looking for anything to be censored or altered to be more educational. Rather, he argues that we need to resist the urge to take our relationship cues from what we see on our TV screens.
“The key is not modifying our entertainment, but bringing in better education,” he says. “As long as people are educated about how to think critically and rationally about anything in their environment that can and will influence them, then people can make sure to only take actions that are in their best long-term interests.”
It’s a solid, reasonable case — don’t think of entertainment as dating education — but when you really boil it down, there is something to be taken from a show like Kevin Can F**k Himself. As for what that is? Looking at everything wrong with the way sitcom marriages have been portrayed over the last three or four decades, they’re finally telling us not to aspire to be these people.
And if you’ve reached a place where you’d rather slit your partner’s throat with broken glass than spend another second with them? It’s probably time for a divorce.
Written by Logan Hansen. Published on askmen.com
When it comes to the dating world, it’s important to know when you’re ready for it. Being ready for it is going to help in creating a long-lasting relationship with the right person. These are some signs that you may be ready for that.
Being confident in yourself and your abilities is a surefire sign that you’re ready to go into the dating world again. Many people who lack confidence expect to find someone to be the confidence booster for them. This is a very unhealthy approach. Only you can boost your confidence, nobody else can do that job. There are plenty of ways to begin boosting your confidence such as finding the best type of surgeon for your rhinoplasty. Dressing differently, getting a haircut, grooming, and exercise are also ways to get the self-belief going.
Happiness begins with where you are, not who you want to be with
Before going back out in the dating world, make sure that you’re currently happy. Are you happy with where you’re at in life? Are you happy with the relationships surrounding you? Are you happy with yourself? Are you happy with your job? Finances? Your home? Love is not going to solve your problems if you’re unhappy. Finding love is not going to magically flip your life right side up, no matter what the movies, songs, and books may say. Love is about bringing additional happiness to your life. You need to already be happy before bringing in any more happiness through love. So ask yourself whether you’re truly ready for that yet and how you can improve?
You love yourself
To love someone else you have to experience self-love and worth first. Nobody in the world can make you love yourself, except for you. Your problems of self-doubt or self-hatred don’t immediately end just because someone wants to date you. Choosing to love yourself first is going to be the first step in the right direction when searching and being ready for a new relationship.
You understand the importance of communication
When it comes to relationships, you have to communicate. If you’ve ever had trouble in the past with communicating then the first step is to learn to improve this. No dating app or texting is going to fix a communication problem that you have. Once you discover the importance of effective and healthy communication then it’s a sign that you may be ready for the dating world. It’s important to know how to appropriately and healthily communicate your thoughts and feelings. This means not being aggressive, not being manipulative, and not aiming to hurt the other person. Doing so will lead to a faulty relationship where even couples counseling may not be able to help out.
You don’t compare people
If you’ve ever experienced a bad relationship in the past, then there is e a very high chance that you’ve compared people that you’re talking to and dating to the person that’s hurt you. It’s not good and it’s very unhealthy. You’ll eventually let go of that bad relationship. Once you do, you can only move forward. Once you stop comparing people, especially to those that have wronged you. You’ll be able to break away and will have a better mentality when dating again.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes