Reason # 2: The Third Factor ....Continued....
Reason # 2
Of the Men Left,
Fewer of Them Seek Serious Relationships
with Older Women
Reason # 2: The Third Factor
The Third Factor:
Of those older men that are seeking relationships, not all of them are interested in older women.
Some are homosexuals and would rather date men.
Then there are some of the older men who only want to date younger women. Older men, who want to have kids, will choose a younger woman to date instead of an older women. A key factor here is that some older men do not actually want to have kids per se; they just want the FEELING that comes with having the OPTION.
These are the men that say they are not interested in having kids, but would be open to it. They do not actually want to get a younger woman pregnant, but dating a woman young enough that he can potentially get pregnant makes him feel that he has the option of having a child.
In other cases, there are older men who are seeking relationships, and who have zero interest in having children (see my comments above regarding the vasectomy population), but who simply would rather date younger women. Sometimes it is just a matter of seeking out what he is more attracted too. Sometimes it is the fact that he has tried to date older and younger women, and he is just more compatible lifestyle-wise with a younger women (See my point later on in this article about older women carrying baggage).
Before you get angry at older men for seeking out younger women, do keep in mind that in the end, women are the ones choosing who they end up dating just as much as the men, and there is no shortage of younger women that adore, pursue and only date older men. I kid you not when I tell you there is a large amount of younger women that actively seek out older men for relationships (usually in secret), not just because of some kind of attraction (although it can happen), but also in part because of the lifestyle an older man can often afford to shower her with, that a man her own age cannot.
Just a word to all the older women who feel they lose older men to younger women.
I want to make a very important point to you.
An older woman that HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER
WILL ALWAYS WIN
against a younger woman
in getting a relationship with an older man
who is open to being in a relationship with an older woman.
Not just sex, but an actual committed relationship.
You WILL understand more as you read the rest of this article.
For that matter, there are a number of younger men and older women who enjoy each other in the “hook up” culture as well.
However as discussed, women tend not to find fulfillment in the “hook up” culture, and the older women/younger men involvements do not turn into serious relationships, because most of those younger men at some point may want the option of being in a serious relationship with a woman that has the potential of having children with him.
Unless an older man takes specific actions and/or suffers from poor health, his biological clock does not work the same way for him as it does for women.
This means that age gap relationships where older men are with younger women have more opportunity to get serious than older women with younger men.
Are there relationships that work out between older women and younger men?
Yes. Of course!
I would love to hear from you in the comments to help older women feel some hope in this matter, because what I tend to hear in my practice is how older women feel a loss of hope in competing with younger women, for the attention of older men. Those successful relationships do exist. When those relationships do not work out, there are just as many reasons why it does not work out for couples of all ages.
For the older men who DO seek a serious relationship with older women:
I once had a debate with a colleague regarding:
Why it seemed that there were more older men who got married after becoming a widower, and not as many older women getting married after becoming widows.
She made the argument that men needed women more, and that is why older men married more often than older women in the same age group. What she did not factor in: Because older women outnumber older men, those men who are open to having a serious relationship with older women will have a much easier time finding someone faster, and settling down again faster. Older women who simply cannot find an older man, (even if they would rather be in a relationship with an older man), have to do without.
It is not because men need women more than women need men. It has to do with basic supply and demand. The supplies of older men that seek relationships are not available to meet the demand of older women seeking older men for serious relationships.
Older men that do want a serious relationship with an older woman have a buffet-style/pick-of-the-litter options.
Reason # 3
Ok, so we have already covered how there are less men alive for older women to date, and of those that are still alive and available to date, only a subset of them would be interested in getting into serious relationships with women, and then a subset of the subset would only be interested in dating older women.
Now we get to how women will be the ones that further shrink the pool of eligible older male candidates that they can date.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes