The 10 Do’s and Don’ts of Valentine’s Day
By Frank Kermit
Whether you are totally single, sort-of-dating someone, or in a serious committed relationship, there are some Do’s and Don’ts that everyone can observe to make Valentine’s Day a better experience for all.
The Top 10 Ten Do’s:
1-Do tell your partner what you want
If there is something that you want to happen on Valentine’s Day, then Do tell your partner what it is. Forget about dropping hints or hoping they will surprise you with exactly what you were thinking of. If you have something specific in mind, say so.
2-Do show appreciation and be grateful
If your partner does something big, or does something not as big as you may have thought, be sure to show appreciation for any efforts that anyone tries in order to make your Valentine’s special.
3- Do something for your partner
It is a good idea to do something for your partner on Valentine’s. It does not have to be extravagant. In an ideal world, couples would not need to rely on a holiday to be reminded to show some love to one another; couples should be doing it regularly. However, if you are going to show some love eventually, you may as well on Valentine’s.
4- Do give someone a chance that asks you out
If you are single and someone takes a chance on Valentine’s to ask you out on a date, give that person a chance and say yes to one date. Even if that person is not your type. That person was thinking about you on Valentine’s when no one else was, and that alone is reason enough to earn just one date.
5- Do make it a special day if you feel it is right
If it is your first Valentine’s together, you may feel that it is right to make a big deal of it and that is OK as long as you both agree. For example, both of you taking the day off of work to spend it together might be something fun and adventurous.
6-Do make the effort to give your partner what your partner asks for
If your partner asks for a card, give your partner a card. If your partner asks for you to read from a book of love-poetry, then give your partner what is asked of you. Giving what you want makes you happy, but giving someone what they want makes your partner happy.
7-Do try something new
Valentine’s can be adventurous if you make the most of the holiday by trying something new with your partner that you have never tried before. It could be a new restaurant, or checking out a new movie that neither of you have seen. Be open to trying something new that you know your partner really enjoys.
8-Do Respect your Partner’s Boundaries
It is easy to get caught up in our own ideas of what would be great to do on Valentine’s, but it is important that you respect any and all of your partner’s boundaries. If your partner is not comfortable doing something, it needs to be off the list of possibilities for the two of you.
9-Do Go OUT if you are alone on Valentine’s
If you are alone on Valentine’s Day, go outside, or to an event. It is a great time to meet new people that are also single on Valentine’s Day who may be in the same situation you are. Staying at home to avoid people, will only keep you alone.
10-Do be happy for people that enjoy celebrating Valentine’s
If you know people that are excited about celebrating Valentine’s, be happy for them. Just because it may not be your thing, does not mean you should ruin it for anyone else.
The Top 10 Don’ts
1-Do NOT Confess your undying love for your best friend
This only works if your friend already likes you back, or if your friend is open minded enough to give you a chance. Otherwise, all this does is put way too much pressure on your friend, and might creep out the person you are trying to win over. It is best to invite that person out on a date, rather than confess long drawn out feelings.
2-Do NOT try to make your partner feel guilty
Just because it is Valentine’s Day and you want something specific to happen, do not try to guilt your partner into doing something your partner is not really interested in doing. There is no saying: “If you really love me you will.” In fact, if you really love your partner, you would let it go, and not try to guilt the person.
3-Do NOT break up with someone just because it is Valentine’s
Valentine’s day is a day of reflection for many people, and lots of people break up with their partners on V-day. If you are planning to break up with someone, do it BEFORE Valentine’s day to give you both a chance to meet someone new. Do NOT break up ON Valentine’s Day.
4-Do NOT ignore Valentine’s Day
It does happen when you may not be able to celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you like. If you and your partner end up missing each other on the actual date (work schedules, travel, etc…) be sure to celebrate the sentiment of the day on another day before or after the fact. It is one thing to ignore the specific date; it is another thing to ignore your partner’s needs
5-Do NOT limit yourself to celebrating Valentine’s for only romantic connections
Although Valentine’s day is USUALLY associated with romantic love, be sure to also think about those people who are important to you that you love, in non-romantic ways, and to remind those people that they are important to you. (For example, buying flowers for your mother is perfectly acceptable on Valentine’s Day).
6- Do NOT go above the agreed upon budget
As sweet as it might be to overspend on your sweetie, this could backfire in lots of ways. First, it may create resentment or feelings of unease for the person who spent less because of the pressure to make up the difference in other ways. Not a good place to be emotionally. Second, it sets a bad precedent for next year if you are still together.
7- Do Not Act Bitter
If you are Bitter about how your love life is going, acting bitter about it on Valentine’s is NOT going to solve the problem. If you are unhappy, have a look at the choices you have made that landed you in the situation you are in. Then consider your options and make better choices so that you can plan for a better Valentine’s next year.
8- Do NOT Bash what you hate about dating and relationships
Some people like to list everything they hate about dating and relationships to feel better about being single. There are some positive and negatives in all things, in all situations. Even if there are some trade offs in dating and relationships, that does not make being single “better”. They are just different. If you are happy being single, then focus on what is positive about being single, not what you think is negative about not dating and relationships. See the difference?
9- Do NOT get caught up in the marketing
How you celebrate Valentine’s is between you and your partner, and neither of you needs to feel that you have to keep up with anyone else you know. If the two of you feel fine to spend it quietly and inexpensively, that is OK. If you both want to go all out, that is OK too. Just do it because you want to do it, not because you feel pressured to keep up with the marketing.
10. Do NOT have unreasonable expectations
Unreasonable expectations of you, of your partner, and of what Valentine’s can be for you as a couple is the kiss of death to some relationships. Valentine’s day will do no more and no less than what you are both capable of as a couple. Do not assume that amazing things will happen JUST because it is Valentine’s Day, especially if you haven’t taken any actions ahead of time to ensure that something special happens.
Check out Frank's Ebooks:
25 RULES FOR EVERYONE- HOW TO ACT ON A FIRST DATE
101 GREAT FIRST DATES - WHAT TO SAY
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes