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The Silver Lining of P.T.S.D.

3/25/2017

3 Comments

 
P.T.S.D.
The Silver Lining of P.T.S.D.
The Silver Lining of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
by Josee St-Onge



There were many things in my life that were not planned nor desired. Developing PTSD certainly was not one of them. Nor was the assault that lead to it. 


For me, it was like waking up in a foreign country. 
An outsider, within my own life. 



Even the simplest of tasks required a revision of each step in order to be able to accomplish it. At times, I did not feel much. At other times, I felt too much.  Caught between two elusive worlds, I clung to anything that would help me to stay present.


The laughter of my children was the first thing to seep in. 

Sleep was my enemy. But being awake was not my ally.

Every cell in my body felt like it was irritated and angry. Utilizing every ounce of my energy. There were no reserves to access.  No clear healing path to follow.  

And then a thought occurred to me.

I had survived the worst. It was time to just be. 

Be who I need to be at the moment in order to move forward. Letting go is far less painful but rather a scary thing to do.  Allowing myself to feel, transformed me into something unexpected. Showing me that there is no shame in taking a step back in order to reconnect with our innate self.

Over time, we seem to lose this connection and define ourselves through our career, family status, age or religion.  But these are not who we are as spiritual beings. But merely the costumes we wear as we progress through the various stages of life. 

I assure you that as a nurse, care giver and mother of three. I had lost that connection long ago. Sacrificing, giving, guiding, teaching and loving. All wonderful, in their own ways. But all draining of fuel that if not re-filled, may lead us to feel empty and resentful.

The world will take as much as you are willing to give. Giving is needed. However, giving without accepting is maladaptive, counterproductive and draining.  I found myself, completely depleted. I needed to be refueled. 
soap making
Photo: J. St-Onge
soap making kits
Photo: J. St-Onge
soap making supplies
Photo: J. St-Onge
soap making recipe
Photo: J. St-Onge

​ENTER SOAP MAKING

​Through old-fashioned hand crafted soap making, each of my senses began to awaken one at a time.

Creativity started to bubble up from deep within my soul. 

I let it.

Slowly, inspiration took over. 


It was like welcoming home an old friend. One that had been lost, yet returned like not a day had gone by without. Creativity was the friend that showed up and carried me when I could no longer carry myself.  
how to make homemade soap bars for beginners
Photo Credit: Josee St-Onge
On the days when I am feeling overwhelmed, I take out my supplies.  First choosing my scents, then my oils. My tolerance for being in the here and now, grew from there.  

It seems odd to say that soap saved me. 

But it truly has.  
J. St-Onge
Photo Credit: Josee St-Onge
Along with the help of a qualified therapists and the support of family and friends! It would have been way too easy to numb my pain with drugs or alcohol.

I can understand why one would want to.

Trusting that we somehow have the internal resources to deal with the unimaginable is perhaps the most difficult part of the healing process.  
ingredients to make soap
Photo Credit: Josee St-Onge
Creativity Is Your Friend

Creativity is an old friend. This old friend and I, have a long healing journey ahead.

But once past it, I will surely keep it around.

I could never undo the amount of internal growth that it has helped me to achieve.  

I do not see myself as broken. But rather, broken open.

It is this unfortunate event that jolted me out of my robotic way of living.
I was so focused on what needed to be accomplished in my day, that I was no longer just being.  

how to make soap from scratch
Photo Credit: Josee St-Onge
On those challenging days, finding even the smallest of joys may help ground us.

It can be as simple as enjoying our favorite tea.

Or applying a scented hand cream.  

A few minutes of taking in the life around us can make the world of difference.

I am excited about today.

I am excited about the future.


But most of all, I am excited about the deepened person I have become. 

There is not one thing or a person that can define us.

We are the only ones with the power to do so.  

​We must remember to just be!
soap making procedure and ingredients
Photo Credit: Josee St-Onge
Soon, I will be revealing the final product of my inspirations.  Feel free to reach out and share what is keeping you grounded. Let’s continue to inspire and uplift one another!
 
-Josee St-Onge

https://www.facebook.com/beeefriendly
Stress Management
Donate To This Mental Health Center
3 Comments
Mariam ugarte
3/25/2017 09:49:10 pm

Hello Josee truly inspiring, thanks for sharing. I also find creativity a true gift. Hugs Mariam

Reply
Lina
3/26/2017 11:22:32 am

Very inspiring story

Reply
Lynn Shiomi
4/6/2017 01:02:38 am

Thanks for sharing Josee I am in the middle of recovery and just as I began to feel better, I broke my leg. I too, have found myself just enjoying quiet time and accepting help from my husband and kids. I am doing puzzles, crosswords, taking long uninterrupted baths etc and just allowing myself to heal
I am also a survivor of PTSD and do see an upside to this sudden halt to what was once an ordinary life. Glad you found your passion. Still looking for mine😊

Reply



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