Single Going Into The Holiday Season
By Frank Kermit
The holidays can be a time of reflection for some to evaluate if they are where they would want to be with their love lives.
Many people who are struggling can end up asking themselves questions such as:
Why are all my friends in relationships, and I am still single?
Why does she just want to be friends with me?
Why won't he commitment to me?
While the holidays are usually associated with great images of joyous celebration, and scenes of happiness surrounded by family and loved ones, not everyone feels festive, especially if they are still trying to find a soul mate to share the holidays with.
The good news is that this is actually one of the BEST times of the year to go out to meet someone new to date. This is the time of year when people are usually the most open minded when it comes to trying to date different types of people than they previously dated beforehand for one simple reason:
No one wants to be alone for the holidays.
The pain of being alone as the holidays approach can be so fearfully devastating that some people may end up settling for less than what they want just so that they are not by themselves.
In other cases some people even go back to an ex and an emotionally unhealthy relationship because of the convenience, than to face the holiday season without a partner.
In fact, some people actually find dating an ex, even if the relationship was toxic and ended badly, more preferable than dealing with the awkwardness of starting to date someone new.
Fear based decision making can lead to more mistakes so much easier than most people think.
Here is a little exercise that you can do right now to avoid the pitfalls and mistakes singles tend to make going into the holiday season.
I want you to imagine your IDEAL holiday celebration.
For example, if you are afraid to be alone on New Year’s Eve without anyone to kiss at that first stroke of midnight, then sit down and visualize exactly what your IDEAL New Years Eve celebration would consist of.
Do not focus on specific people.
I want you to focus on YOU during those future projections. What are you wearing? What are you doing? How are you feeling? How do you look? What are you talking about?
Are you putting your newly learned dance steps into practice trying to seduce the new love of your life on the dance floor that will lead to your first magical midnight New Years Eve kiss? Are you charismatically enticing someone using your new charming communication and graceful storytelling skills?
Once you have that ideal in mind, work your way back to this moment in time to where you are right now, and ask yourself what you would have to do between now and that event to make your dream vision come true.
Sign up for dance lessons? Learn the art of small talk? Pick out a venue and new outfit for that night?
When you have an idea of where you want to end up, then you will better know what you need to do right now in order to get there.
If you are alone as the holidays approach, EMBRACE it. You have a choice. You can either feel sorry for yourself, or you can start to take action today and focus on what you can do right now, to be able to attract someone new into your love life.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes