This is a contributed post.
Planning to propose is one of the most nerve-wracking times of a man's life. This is a decision that is going to influence the rest of your life - not being nervous about it is a bad sign. This is something that you should be taking very seriously indeed.
It's made all the harder when the expectations on the proposal itself - not just what it signifies - are becoming greater. No long is it enough to want to spend your life with someone; you're now expected to have a great story to tell when people ask how it happened.
Given the magnitude of what's ahead, perhaps it's time to look at the other perspective. Women who have been proposed to have the best take of all of what the experience should be like, and here's their thoughts. So as not to embarrass anyone, they have chosen to share their stories on condition of anonymity. Names have been changed for the same reason.
"I wish it had been more straightforward."
Anna was proposed to by her boyfriend, Tom, after two years of dating. "He did a big thing," she recalls. "Gathered around our family and friends, had a whole speech planned out and even had a song. It was sweet, but I think I'd have preferred the moment to be about just us. It depends on the woman, but sometimes, less is more."
They married six months ago and are now expecting their first child.
"I was disappointed by the ring."
Adrienne and Josh had been together for five years, but the proposal was still unexpected. "I was worried by it, to be honest," she admits. "The ring was not something I would choose at all. It made me wonder how well he knew me. I love Tacori wedding rings and anything with a modern twist, but this was very standard engagement ring. I don't care about price, but it would have been nice to think he'd put some effort in."
Nevertheless, they married. Adrienne has yet to tell Josh she dislikes her engagement ring. "It's still the one he chose so it'll always be special," she reflects, "but I made sure I had an input when we selected the wedding bands!"
"He got it spot on!"
When Aiden proposed to Louisa, it was not a surprise. "We'd talked about it beforehand," she says, dismissing the idea this is not romantic. "I think that was important. He still did a whole down-on-one-knee thing, but I believe it was better because it was expected. And it was less nerve-wracking for him too, as he already knew the answer! Maybe it's not romantic, but it definitely made more sense for us as a couple."
They are planning to have a destination wedding, though a recent house move has put this back a year. "You can't plan everything, so it turns out," Louisa laughs.
So What To Take From This?
1. Know your bride and the things she likes.
2. Consider venturing the idea before taking the plunge; the surprise element is not always on your side.
3. Don't think you have to go all out on a proposal. Sometimes, less is more.
Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes