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HOW TO BUILD A SOCIAL CIRCLE NETWORK How to Host A Singles Party By Frank Kermit I hear people starting to plan anti-Valentine’s Day Parties because they and many of the people around them happen to be single. Many of these people wouldn’t be single on Valentine’s Day (V-Day) if they would all agree to date someone who already likes them (like the friend who asked them out, but got rejected). Alas, people are complicated as perhaps some of them actually enjoy the other name for V-day: Single Awareness Day (SAD). With that said, I would like to suggest to anyone hosting an anti-V-Day party that you and your guests need not get stuck on SAD. There is a way to turn your anti-V-Day party into the best kind of singles meet-n-greet. Many years ago, when I began my personal journey to understanding dating and relationships, I connected with a new circle friends that acted like a support group for one another. We all had a common goal. We wanted better love lives. This group of stellar friends and I decided to put together a singles party, but how we organized it was a little different. When we started to invite others to this singles party, we had very specific and peculiar rules that seemed odd at first, but once people understood the premise, they were into it. Here is what you need to do: Establish a core group of people that will be doing the inviting. A point person, who is in charge of the guest list, is assigned for everyone to check in with. Each person is only allowed to bring 1 guest, possibly 2; depending on what information the point person has been given. The rule was, each group member who was single, had to bring someone to the party of the opposite gender, that he or she wasn’t dating. Meaning a man could bring his a female friend that he rejected, or who rejected him, a girl he once dated but is no longer seeing, or even a serious ex-girlfriend that he remains on good terms with. Each woman would have to bring a male friend that she rejected, or who rejected her, a guy that she once dated but is no longer seeing, or even a serious ex-boyfriend that she remains on good terms with. The goal is to end up with an even number of men and woman, who are all single, who are all interested in meeting new people, and who all know at least one person at the party that will vouch for them in terms of character. As each guest confirms, the core member informs the point person who accepts the invitation, or who places it on hold until more people accept invitations to keep the numbers evened out. (This works better when all of the original core members are of the same gender, as it is easier to balance the numbers and the guests). In the event, that a person’s guest backs out of coming at the last minute, the core member is also not permitted to attend the singles party, all in order to keep the numbers fairly balanced. The result? We were a group of about 20 guys that organized a singles party with about 20 girls as guests. No one left the party early because the ratio of men and women were about equal, and it was a safe way to meet new people, because everyone there was part of a strict invitation list. Also, the nature of it being an openly announced singles party, and the process and efforts made to keep the numbers balanced, created anticipation in the guests attending. The plan was to hold a singles party like that once a month, but after a couple of months, there simply wasn’t any motivation. At that point, many of the original party founders had started dating and getting into relationships with people that they had met through the first two parties. How’s that for success? So if you and your friends are planning an anti-V-Day party, or if you and your 5 best friends of the same gender were planning on drowning your sorrows that weekend, perhaps you might all put your own egos on the shelf for one night, and try hosting a singles party with the aim of setting up one of your friends with someone that you couldn’t date. Helping others find love helps them to help you to find love. To learn more about how to manage your social circles, please check out: HOW TO BUILD A SOCIAL CIRCLE NETWORK
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