The Frank Break Up Formula:
How To Break Up With Someone
By Frank Kermit
Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the way to becoming engaged and married, because they fear the conflicts that would come up if they carried out a break up. Over the course of my own self actualization years ago, I developed a means to break up with someone that will give the best chances of the break up being amicable and could even lead to a future friendship or temporary friends-with-benefits agreement.
This way to break up with someone can be used in almost every break up situation. It can work when you have been dating for a long time, but do not see a future together, or if you have been friends-with-benefits and want to end it before getting too attached, or if you want to explain why you want to end a relationship, but do not want to list all the reasons why that may unnecessarily hurt the other person. In fact, the Frank Break Up Formula can also be used when you want to excuse yourself near the end of a first date, as you have already decided that you do not want to even attempt a second date.
You start off by telling the person what you like about them. Then you continue by telling the person what you love about them.
Then you identify what values you each have that are incompatible with each other, and for that reason you must break up before things get more serious, before you both get even more attached, or you continue to date only to end up in a resentful breakup, or worse, nasty divorce.
For example, you have just completed a first date with someone, and have come to the conclusion that you want to end it. Through questions and conversation topics you identify some value or future life plans that you both are incompatible on. To make this work, you must fully believe that he or she will not change. At the end of the night, you can tell your date that you like their taste in music, and that you love their sense of humor, but that in conversation he or she mentioned absolutely not wanting anymore children and that you are absolutely interested in having a child of your own.
This is an incompatible value and future life plan. For this reason, it is better to break up and not continue to see each other, than to hope for a change and let anger and resentment grow to the point of being abusively insulting to one another on social media. Most people, when presented with this, find it respectful and honest, even though it is disappointing.
And when someone asks you about the person you broke up with, or the person that broke up with you, speak well of him or her. Just tell everyone that you wish that person well, and hope he or she does find someone. It is the BEST way to manage a break up situation.
FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
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