FRANKTALKS.COM
  • Home
    • WHY HIRE FRANK?
    • QUIZ - Need Coaching?
  • COACHING SYSTEMS
    • BUY COACHING HERE
    • PER HOUR COACHING
    • DATING DEBRIEF
    • EMOTIONAL NEEDS SYSTEM
    • ADULT MALE VIRGINS SYSTEM
    • Single No More System
    • Couples Coaching System
    • Coping With Loss System
    • ACCOUNTABILITY COACHING
  • HEALTH
  • AUDIO
  • BOOKS
    • FRANÇAISE
    • ESPAÑOL
    • TADPOLE TALKS
    • AFFILIATES
    • OFF SITE AFFILIATES
  • BLOG
  • CONTACT
    • GUEST SPEAKER, Celebrity & PEER REVIEW
    • MEDIA
    • THE BEST MEDIA APPEARANCE

Dating With Your Disabilities

1/19/2017

0 Comments

 
dating with a disability advice
Dating With Your Disabilities
Dating With Disabilities
By Frank Kermit

 
I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly allergic to peanuts, what she did not tell me (and I guess she felt I would have inferred) is that a movie theater was not a safe environment for her. She needed to be careful that someone coming in late to the movie and sitting near her was not eating anything that could end up being dropped near any exposed skin of hers. I never ate nuts of any kind at the movies, so it was never something that even crossed my mind. Much of our date was her spending her attention on potential threats to her life.
 
On the one hand, I could appreciate her trying to accommodate me, but on the other hand, if she had been more direct and told me the best places for us to have a date (based on what she already knew about her disability) it would have made for an even better date for us.
 
You are your greatest ambassador in your life. You are the one person that can step up and expertly describe to others exactly how you want and need to be treated. Some people struggle with this because they do not know how to stand up for themselves to communicate what they need and want, while others struggle because, they simply do not know what it means to be treated well in general. When someone has a disability of any sort which compromises their means of living in any way, getting into the dating scene can be a little more challenging than most people.
 
Whether your disability has to do with one of your senses (deafness), a physical challenge (you are in a wheelchair), an intellectual challenge (learning disability of some kind), or any other disability that you assume may get in the way of some aspect of your dating life, the best way to communicate what you need is DIRECTLY AND POLITELY.
 
Let the people in your life know what you need in no uncertain terms. Tell them what they can expect from you, and what you require from them in order for the two of you to associate and get along. It is not always an easy thing to do, especially if you are not used to asking for help, or even talking about your disability in general.
 
Not all disabilities are visible and no one would ever suspect it, unless directly told by the person who has the disability that it exists.
 
A key point to remember is if you act embarrassed or ashamed of your disability, whenever you teach people how to treat you, then your uneasiness with your disability is part of what you are teaching others.
 
Even if you tell them with your words that it is OK that you have your disability and that you can still have a relationship with them, if your tonality and other communication factors (your facial expression. Body language and the energy in your eyes) tells people something different such as you do not believe what you are saying; you are likely going to be rejected, regardless of your efforts.
 
When sharing your disability, it is necessary to be positive, and reflect on the gifts your disability has given you. Yes, a disability that has taken something away from you may in fact be the same disability that has given you a gift that is likely taken for granted. If the person with the disability takes it for granted, it is more challenging to have potential romantic partners see the brighter side of it. A disability may have the effect of intangible benefits that are generally not valued as much as tangible benefits.
 
In my experience, both personal and professional, when disabled people remain angry or resentful about their disability, it is more difficult for them to find qualities they appreciate about their disability. It is human, and very normal, to feel negative about a disability.
 
However, when trying to establish a certain quality of life, a needed component is the ability to embrace the positive in your life, and that includes whatever positives a person can identify, even as a result of a disability.
 
For the struggles my own weight issues have given me throughout my life, it has also given me the capacity for a non-judgmental frame of reference when dealing with people and their own body image issues.
 
Knowing how hurtful it is to be mistreated for the way I look, I strive to endeavor to treat others in an accepting manner regardless of their body type. That is a value, albeit an intangible one. If I acknowledge my acceptance of others as a character trait of value, those around me, are even more likely to appreciate that about me as well. If I were to take my valuable trait for granted, it is even more likely that those around me will also take me for granted. Get it?
 
Almost every disability has a capacity to give the disabled person a gift. Physical limitations can give someone the ability to have compassion for others. Allergies can give someone a heightened sense of awareness of their environments (to observe any potential threats). Chronic illness can give someone the ability to have a deep appreciation for good days and good people. These intangible qualities are easy to ignore and take for granted.
 
However one of the most important elements for relationship success is how a person treats you. Much of that important element is based on a person's intangible qualities. When you can appreciate those qualities in yourself, it can be a means of appreciating those qualities (REALLY appreciating them) in others.
 
That new ability of appreciating the intangible in others is one of the special qualities of being able to sort out the red flags in order to better help you find your future soul mates. Yes, it is all connected; A-ha moment anyone?
 
Sometimes it can get tiring to always be the one to educate the rest of the world about your disability. Well, get used to it. Disability or not, we ALL have to do it. Every single one of us is responsible to educate others about who we are, and how we want to be treated. It is a never-ending burden that depending how you choose to manage it, can also be an empowering exercise of personal expression.
 
Finally, we must acknowledge that when you do tell people you want to date and talk about your disability, and explain whatever extra attention you will need in order for that person to be in a relationship with you, that yes, you are taking a chance and YES, you WILL GET REJECTED by some people. It is inevitable.
 
There will always be those that walk away from you, no matter how well you communicate about how feasible it is to enjoy dating you. On the flip side, there will always be those people that will not be fazed by whatever your disability is that simply would enjoy the chance of dating you. There is nothing to convince those people that they see you as a person with a disability, and not as a disability wrapped up in a person. It is those in the middle (and sometimes they are the majority) who will not know how to act. It is not that they will automatically reject you, or accept you.
 
They simply do not know enough about your disability to decide. These are the people that you can exercise a power of influence upon. With that said, they will look to you for an example of how they should behave (accepting or rejecting). That is where the ability to connect deeply exists.
 
Your ability to love and fully accept yourself gets the opportunity to transcend to others, helping others to have the ability to love and accept you. After all is said and done, it is your ability to love and accept yourself, in addition to your ability to communicate that self love and self acceptance to others, and not the disability itself, that will play the biggest role in the creation of your love life.
 
As for the peanut girl, she decided that she did not want to continue seeing me. One of her reasons was that she felt we could not have a relationship because I would have had to give up going out socially carefree always on the look out for allergic dangers, and she worried I would eventually resent her. It is too bad she disqualified herself as I did not have a problem with that, and I would have loved to see her again.
 
Frank Kermit
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Adult Male Virgins
    Break Up / Divorce
    Cheating / Infidelity
    Closure
    Coaching
    Communication
    Confidence
    Coping With Loss
    Date Night Recipes
    Dating
    Dating First Dates
    Dating Online Dating
    Dating Speed Dating
    Emotional Needs
    Engagement Proposal
    Français French
    Français - French
    Friends
    Health & Fitness
    Holidays
    In Memory Tribute
    Kink Fetish BDSM
    LGBTQ+
    Marriage
    Media / Podcasts
    Mental Health
    Monogamy
    Non Monogamy
    Older Men
    Older Women
    Parenting
    Q&A Frank Advice
    Relationships
    Romance
    Seduction
    Sex
    Sex Work
    Single
    Swingers Lifestyle
    Testimonial
    Wedding
    ZZZ...

    Archives

    October 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    Picture

    ABOUT FRANK

    Frank Kermit MA, is an expert Relationship & Dating Coach with 25 years of experience. He is an author of original content books, eBooks and audio products.  he has written  many publications online and in print. He is frequently asked to be a guest speaker for media and events.

    MEDIA 
    APPEARANCE


    ****

    TBA


    Thank Frank Kermit
    Donate To The Tadpole Education Fund When You Want To THANK FRANK
    Coaching with Frank Kermit
    TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE. SIGN UP FOR COACHING NOW!
    incel toronto
    The Adult Male Virgin Program
    THE ADULT MALE VIRGINS HANDBOOK BY FRANK KERMIT
    LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY IN 90 DAYS!
    NOW WHAT? UNIQUE WAYS TO CATER TO HER SEXUAL E.N.A BY FRANK KERMIT
    YOU ARE NO LONGER A VIRGIN BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN BED. GO FROM FORGOTTEN TO UNFORGETTABLE!
    inceltears
    Coaching For Singles Looking For Love
    I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB WORKBOOK BY FRANK KERMIT
    BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE! BUY THE COACHING WORKBOOK FOR MEN TODAY!
    I'M A WOMAN IT'S MY TIME WORKBOOK BY FRANK KERMIT
    THERE IS COACHING WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE TODAY!
     love coaching quotes
    BUY DATING AND RELATIONSHIP COACHING WITH FRANK KERMIT
    EVERYTHING OUT OF HER MOUTH IS A TEST BY FRANK KERMIT
    DO YOU KNOW THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF WOMEN?
    THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS ANALYSIS OF WOMEN WORKBOOK BY FRANK KERMIT
    LEARN TO SPOT THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF WOMEN IN YOUR DAILY LIFE
    MASTERING THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF MEN ALLY VS ENEMY BY FRANK KERMIT
    DO YOU KNOW THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF MEN?
    THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS ANALYSIS OF MEN WORKBOOK BY FRANK KERMIT
    LEARN TO SPOT THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF MEN IN YOUR DAILY LIFE
    couples counseling
    Couples Coaching
    MONOGAMY AND NON MONOGAMY EDITION VOLUME 3  BY FRANK KERMIT
    AN EXPLORATION OF MONOGAMY & NON MONOGAMY LIFESTYLES
    50 ARTICLES VOLUME 2 BY FRANK KERMIT
    50 ARTICLES ON THE TOPICS OF LOVE, SEX, DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS
    100 ARTICLES VOLUME 1 BY FRANK KERMIT
    YOURS FREE WHEN YOU SIGN UP FOR THE E-NEWSLETTER
    loss grief quotes
    Coping With Loss Coaching
    101 GREAT FIRST DATES 25 RULES FOR EVERYONE HOW TO ACT ON A FIRST DATE BY FRANK KERMIT
    A FAST READ TO GET YOU OUT THERE AND DATING!
    101 GREAT FIRST DATES WHAT TO SAY FRANK KERMIT
    ONCE YOU GET THE DATE READ THIS TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
    101 GREAT FIRST DATES WHERE TO GO BY FRANK KERMIT
    WHERE DO YOU GO ON YOUR DATES? READ THIS EASY GUIDE AND FIND SOMEWHERE NEW
    THE FRANK GUIDE TO SPEED DATING MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR MINUTES TOGETHER BY FRANK KERMIT
    MAKE A GREAT IMPRESSION WHEN YOU ARE SHORT ON TIME
    accountability coach app
    Accountability Coach to help you reach your goals each day
    THE FRANK STORYTELLING PROGRAM FOR DATING WORKBOOK BY FRANK KERMIT
    STORYTELLING IS A SOCIAL SKILL YOU CAN LEARN.
    HOW TO BUILD A SOCIAL CIRCLE NETWORK BY FRANK KERMIT
    A STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO BUILD AND MANAGE YOUR SOCIAL LIFE.
    THE ART OF CALIBRATION PROGRAM FROM CREEPY TO CHARISMA BY FRANK KERMIT
    LEARN THE SOCIAL CUES YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING
    DATING YOUNGER WOMEN A GUIDE FOR OLDER MEN BY FRANK KERMIT
    LISTEN HOW TO DATE A YOUNGER WOMEN AND BEAT OUT YOUR YOUNGER MALE COMPETITION!
    FROM FRIENDS TO LOVERS: STOP BEING HER EMOTIONAL COOKIE MAN BY FRANK KERMIT
    GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE RIGHT NOW!
    HOW TO STEAL HER AWAY FROM A JERK BY FRANK KERMIT
    WHY IS SHE WITH A JERK? IS SHE WORTH THE EFFORT YOU WANT TO MAKE TO STEAL HER FROM HIM?
    FROM LOSER TO SEDUCER: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF FRANK KERMIT BY FRANK KERMIT
    FROM ALONE AND CONFUSED TO INTERNATIONAL RELATIONSHIP & DATING EXPERT
    THE POWER OF CHOICE: HOW TO DATE MULTIPLE WOMEN HONESTLY
    HOW TO USE EMOTIONAL NEEDS ANALYSIS TO MAKE MULTIPLE WOMEN FEEL UNIQUE AND SPECIAL IN AN HONEST WAY
    HOW TO BE THE ETHICAL SEDUCER BY FRANK KERMIT
    LEARN THE ETHICS OF SEDUCTION FOR MEN AND WOMEN
    PIMPING YOUR PAD BY FRANK KERMIT
    FROM BORING BACHELOR PAD TO STYLISH AND SENSUAL. SIMPLE, EASY, STEPS TO TAKE TO TRANSFORM YOUR SPACE
    ALTERNATIVE RELATIONSHIP CHOICES NON-MONOGAMY BY FRANK KERMIT
    HOW TO HAVE ALTERNATIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN AN NON-ALTERNATIVE SOCIETY
    MAKING MONOGAMY WORK WHEN ONE IS ALL YOUR NEED BY FRANK KERMIT
    LEARN HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
    SEX, LIES AND CONFUSION.  FRANK ADVICE FOR REAL LIFE BY FRANK KERMIT
    100 QUESTIONS THAT OTHERS WERE AFRAID TO ANSWER.
    FrankTalks.com
    TODO LO QUE SALE DE SU BOCA ES UNA PRUEBA -EVERYTHING OUT OF HER MOUTH IS A TEST VERSION EN ESPAÑOL EBOOK
    FrankTalks.com
    JE SUIS UN HOMME. C'EST MON JOB.- I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB VERSION FRANÇAISE EBOOK
    Franktalks.com sponsor

    USB Charger image
    Charger
    PMC Media Logo
    PMC Media Production

    Dr. Laurie Betito Quotes
    Franks Romance Formula
    in her new book The Sex Bible For People Over 50.

    Sex Bible book cover
    Sex Bible for 50
    NEW! The Sex Bible For People Over 50: The Complete Guide To Sexual Love For Mature Couples
    Match Maker Logo
    High End Match Making
    leonard irwin headshot
    Leonard Irwin - Medium
    Event Planner logo
    Natalka Gach Lee
Frank Kermit of franktalks.com
FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
​HELPING PEOPLE CONNECT

IN MONTREAL CALL FRANK
REST OF CANADA & USA CALL FRANK
franktalks.com logo

ALL COACHING IS BY TELEPHONE OR SKYPE ONLY

INTERNATIONAL CLIENTS  ARE WELCOME

*INTERNATIONAL CLIENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR LONG DISTANCE PHONE CHARGES, +1 Canada/USA*

SKYPE IS PREFERRED.
IT'S FREE AND EASY TO USE FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD


TELEPHONE: +1-514-680-3278

EMAIL: frank@franktalks.com
​

SKYPE: frank kermit
PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL SALES ARE FINAL. NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGES
  • Home
    • WHY HIRE FRANK?
    • QUIZ - Need Coaching?
  • COACHING SYSTEMS
    • BUY COACHING HERE
    • PER HOUR COACHING
    • DATING DEBRIEF
    • EMOTIONAL NEEDS SYSTEM
    • ADULT MALE VIRGINS SYSTEM
    • Single No More System
    • Couples Coaching System
    • Coping With Loss System
    • ACCOUNTABILITY COACHING
  • HEALTH
  • AUDIO
  • BOOKS
    • FRANÇAISE
    • ESPAÑOL
    • TADPOLE TALKS
    • AFFILIATES
    • OFF SITE AFFILIATES
  • BLOG
  • CONTACT
    • GUEST SPEAKER, Celebrity & PEER REVIEW
    • MEDIA
    • THE BEST MEDIA APPEARANCE