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Can You Convert Your Spouse To BDSM?
How To Convince My Spouse To Become BDSM
By Master Pierre
One question that is asked more and more is:
"How do I convince my spouse to get into BDSM ?"
The first few times we received that question, it was from submissive men wanting to convince their wives to become their Domme.
But lately, we had that question from women wanting their husbands to become BDSM player as Dom or submissive.
The answer we give all of them is the same.
The need for BDSM is personal and cannot be "taught".
People within the BDSM lifestyle usually had to evolve toward what they are in BDSM and to learn about their own needs.
Trying to "make" someone who has no BDSM interest whatsoever into a Dom, Top, Bottom, submissive (what have you) is nearly impossible.
However!
Many men and women have
sexual fantasies.
It is possible to use these fantasies
as an exchange.
If your fantasy is to submit, maybe your partner's fantasy is different but you may help him or her to fulfill that fantasy, your spouse might help you experience your fantasy!
The discussion with your spouse is very important!
Many men and women have
sexual fantasies.
It is possible to use these fantasies
as an exchange.
If your fantasy is to submit, maybe your partner's fantasy is different but you may help him or her to fulfill that fantasy, your spouse might help you experience your fantasy!
The discussion with your spouse is very important!
What is your fantasy outfit?
Could You Share?
If your spouse has no sexual fantasies at all, maybe the solution would be to negotiate with them for you, to satisfy that need you may have with somebody else.
Often, during BDSM events, we meet people, men and women, that have a vanilla spouse that cannot satisfy their BDSM needs, but are their life partner with whom they are very much in love.
These people go "outside" their relationship to find a partner for their "other" needs and they do this with the acceptance of their spouse.
How do they do it?
They negotiate the limits of what they can do with their spouse.
Within these limits, anything can be included; when to do it (you may go to your BDSM partner when the kids are at their grand parents once a month) or it could be sexual limits (anything goes, but no intercourse).
Limits are different from couple to couple and the discussion (negotiation) is very important.
Limits are different from couple to couple and the discussion (negotiation) is very important.
So you can get started
BDSM is based on a consensual relationship.
To force someone to become involved in BDSM is NOT consensual and will create huge tensions within the couple.
It is widely known that during a public party, if you approach somebody new to play with, if that person says no, no means no and you must not insist. The same goes for your spouse, if they say no, no means no.
Don't Lie To Your Spouse. Talk To Your Spouse.
There is always the possibility of having a hidden BDSM relationship with someone and keep it secret from your spouse, but that is something between you and your conscience.
But here is some food for thought: You all know that BDSM is based on trust.
How will you convince a potential BDSM partner that you can be trusted....if you are already lying to your spouse?
But here is some food for thought: You all know that BDSM is based on trust.
How will you convince a potential BDSM partner that you can be trusted....if you are already lying to your spouse?
AUTHOR BIO:
The BDSM Circle is led by Pierre and Catharine. They live as a couple with values that include Domination and Submission as way of life for them. Pierre is a Dominant while Catharine also a Dominant is aka "Katy" who is Pierre`s Submissive; and together they oversea a small group of Submissives. They also have a bilingual website called BDSMCircle.com. Catharine and Pierre are featured as part of the 2004 season of the award winning television series KINK. Today they are featured on CJAD 800 AM radio on the Dr Laurie Betito show monthly feature 50 shades of passion. Learn more about them at their website http://www.bdsmcircle.net/
Below is a youtube video
of an interview Frank Kermit did many years ago with The BDSM Circle
of an interview Frank Kermit did many years ago with The BDSM Circle
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