The Movie Of Your Life's Journey
By Frank Kermit
The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing the movie of your life is an empowerment exercise to help you maximize your life's opportunities when things are going well, and to help support you along when things are going poorly.
You are the protagonist (remember that term from high school literature class?) of the movie of your life. You are the main character that will reap all the main benefits of your actions, and suffer the consequences if you do not take action. Great storytelling whether it is through literature, TV, movies, theatre, etc...all capture and lead the imagination to new possibilities and give audiences the opportunity to consider new ways of living their lives finding fulfillment that may not even knew they were missing.
This empowerment endeavor helps a person take control of their life by employing elements from solid storytelling structures. This includes being a hero, usually introduced as a normal human being that is called upon to take on a great adventure challenge.
The hero either seeks out a mentor, or the mentor calls out the hero to be a student. The hero enters a period of development, which includes tests, learning of new skills, and even self-discovery of personal limits that may need to be overcome.
In the end, the hero succeeds at changing his or her character in what needs to be changed, uses that to defeat both the villain of the story and the inner demons the hero needed to vanquish, and finally overcoming the main challenge of the adventure.
The conclusion is that the hero is now a new person, with a new life to embrace, which gives the hero the best likelihood of fortifying a true happily ever after
When I help someone create the movie of their life, I have learned to add my own personal touch to it by establishing these basic concepts.
1-You is the only person that can save you. You must be your own hero in the movie of your life. There is no place for you to wait to be saved. In love, you cannot wait for your future lover, your soul mate, and no waiting for G-d to save you. It is up to you to take the action necessary to save yourself.
2-Limit suffering. Some people get so caught up with punishing themselves, that they take the tests and trials of their life's journey too far, and force themselves to suffer needlessly in order to feel worthy of a happy ending. You only need to suffer just enough to learn the lesson required to move on to the next chapter of the story of your life's journey.
3-Install a happy ending that happens early in your life. If you write out your movie to only have a happy ending for you (or your family) after your death, you are basically signing your own death certificate. Make sure that your happily ever after ending comes through happens as soon as possible so that you are able to enjoy the rest of your life as soon as you can. There is little point of a happily ever after at the end of your life, or after the fact where you are praised after death.
4-Beware your self-sacrificing storylines. A core group of people may identify being a hero equaling being self-sacrificing. This means to always put your personal needs aside to better support the needs of others. Although elements of self-sacrificing can in fact be heroic in certain contexts, the CONSTANT PRACTICE of self-sacrificing behaviors, especially in relation to your love life, can lead a person to a deep rooted bitterness that halts an ability to emotionally connect.
The irony is that if you are not taking your own needs into consideration at all, any rewards (if there are rewards at all) for always putting the needs of others ahead of your own will be moot. A person who's needs are ignored is usually unable to enjoy the rewards of self-sacrificing for others.
When getting started, I have found a very useful tool to be writing out the movie trailer of your life first. It will set the pace and the plot for your life. Here is a quick example of the structure:
Born in (insert the year you were born), (insert your name) had a (adjectives to describe your upbringing) life. Then one day, (insert the event or events that prompted you to have to make a change in your life) that changed life forever. (Insert your name) embarked on a journey to make a change, and build a life that was worth living again. (Insert what it is you are going to do to make that change a reality). Today (insert your name)(offer a conclusion that shows that success was/will-be achieved within your lifetime, and that you will be around to enjoy the fruits of your labor).
Here is my own movie trailer:
"Frank Kermit had an ordinary life that was very discouraging when it came to love. Then one day, Frank took stock of all the bad things that happened to him including getting stood up at his prom and losing his ex-fiancé to his then best friend that changed his life forever. Frank embarked on a journey to make a change, and build a life that was worth living again. He made learning about love, sex, dating and relationships his number one priority, sacrificed and eventually created a system for himself that helped him find peace within himself, and gave him the ability to help others. Today, Frank is married with a family and continues to teach people about emotional needs for loving relationships."
This is just an example to start you off. Use whatever structure works best for you.
I consider myself very fortunate that in my life, I have been on my own hero's journey and that when I was ready, my mentors were present for me. I am even more fortunate that when someone feels ready to start their own hero's journey in their real life, that some of them chose me as a mentor.
I wish you all a successful journey!
FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
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