Dating: What do women really want?
by Pillow Talk Gal
Dating can be a veritable mine field, from how to dress, what to say and how to act. There is no exact science to dating, no how to manuals we can read. We are often left to follow our instinct and sometimes those instincts can be either bang on or dead wrong.
As a woman I can only speak to men who are looking to find out what not to do if you plan on seeing a woman past the first date.
Below are just a few personal tips that I hope will help to make the mine field a little less daunting.
Tip #1 : Dress to impress.
Most women will take note of a man’s appearance right away. While you are busy checking her out, she is actively doing the same but in a very different way. While you may be checking out her body, she is doing that as well, but in so much more detail. She is taking note of every little detail right down to the amount of facial hair you have and whether it’s been properly groomed.
She is looking at your hands to see if your finger nails are dirty, she’s taking note on how much cologne you decided to put on (tip: less is more) and yes she is even checking to see if there is a tan line where a wedding ring might be.
Some would say appearances don’t matter, not true.
The old saying ‘’first impressions are important’’ is key!
In life they say you have to dress for the job you want, well dating is really not that different. Women love it when a man makes an effort to look good, it shows they care, not only about their date but themselves as well. (this should be a given but it’s worth mentioning)
A man who doesn’t have a good sense of style can be a complete turn off for some, where others can see it as a challenge (a fixer upper kind of guy).
Either way, it’s best to play it safe and go with a nice collared shirt (no tie) and a dressy pair of jeans.
You can never go wrong with business/casual style.
Tip #2: Leave the past behind.
Nothing is more off putting than a man that seems to not have moved on from his last relationship. We all have our relationship baggage to deal with, but dealing with it while you’re on a date with another woman is not that time (this lesson applies to women too).
If you’re out with a woman who just happens to enjoy the same kind of music as your ex, or she happens to like the same kinds of food as your ex, whatever you do, don’t bring it up!
Mentioning any kinds of similarities between a date and an ex can lead not only to insecurities on her part, but also make you look like you’re still hung up on your ex!
Of course, if you were in a serious relationship and are back on the dating scene you might notice you have a specific ‘’type’’ you are attracted to, which is fine.
There are bound to be some similarities, just don’t go out of your way to mention them, especially on the first date. She will lose interest in you faster than you can say ‘’when can I see you again?’’
Tip #3: Confidence versus arrogance.
Women love a man who is confident, but not to the point of arrogance.
It is a big turn on when we see that a man has confidence in himself but at the same time he is humble about that confidence.
For example, there is nothing worse than being with a guy who is good looking and acts like he knows it.
The turn on for us is, he’s good looking but thinks he isn’t (I know it’s weird but it’s true).
Tip #4: Keep some thoughts to yourself.
If you’re on a date with a woman whom you find very attractive, refrain from making awkward remarks about specific things you find sexy about her (especially on a first date).
You might find she has a great body or sexy lips and that’s fine, but making a point about how you happen to find those traits sexy is just creepy.
For example, your date happens to have very full sexy lips, don’t blurt out ‘’you have the most beautiful, sexy lips I have ever seen!’’.
It comes off as if all you’re looking at are her lips, which leads a woman to think all you’re interested in are her looks and not getting to know her as a person.
If the relationship progresses past a couple of weeks, then those kinds of comments most probably could be a turn on, as opposed to making her want to run screaming in the opposite direction.
Keep your cool and instead of fixating on her looks, listen to her when she speaks. Really take an interest in what she has to say.
A man who can have a real conversation with a woman is so sexy and believe me, she will notice if you’re not actively listening, so really put some effort into it.
If the chemistry is good, you will find there won’t be much effort required.
I wish you all happy dating and I hope my tips will have proven useful to at least a few people.
It can be tough out there and sometimes a few tips can go a long way.
-Pillow Talk Gal
About Pillow Talk Gal
Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons.
"Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal
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