10 Reasons Why Dating Is Harder For Older Women Part 8

Why dating is harder for older women part 8

trigger warning

Reason # 5
Too Preoccupied with Friends Opinions

Reason # 5 Too Preoccupied with Friends Opinions

Desperate!

If there is one thing I hear over and over again from older women is that they do not want to appear, or come across as desperate. So these women hold back from asking men out, and making their interests known.

When older women get together with their friends (also older and single women) some start acting like they are too good for dating and don’t need a man in their lives.

Right.

What is worse is that an older woman’s friends can further encourage this kind of self-sabotaging thinking and behavior.

If an older woman becomes preoccupied with what other people think, especially what her friends think of her,
(seeking her friends APPROVAL)
I can predict that she will continue to be a single older woman.

from artist Ricky Whitney

Sometimes the reason
a woman is perpetually single
despite everything she has going for her,

IS HER FRIENDS.

Your friends could become
the saboteurs at the crossroads
of your journey of love in this life.

Some women simply cannot stand to see their girlfriends find someone that is special to them because they feel that a relationship steals a friend's attention from them (just EVIL!).

In fact, I know of a number of older women who struggle to have their friends introduce them to potential mates, because many of their friends mention (in a joking manner of course) that they would then lose a great babysitter or wing-woman if she found a relationship!

Unfortunately, it turns out not to be that much of a joke.

I teach that a real friend helps you get what you want.

If you want sex; a friend does not stand in your way.

If you want to date someone; a friend does not discourage you against it.

If you want to take your relationship to the next level; a friend gives your new partner a chance and gets to know him or her.

Just because someone is your friend, does not mean they will be your allies in love.

learn to be charming

It is not the job or obligation of any of your friends to help you find love. However, a true friend does not stand in your way of finding happiness by making you feel guilty for putting time and effort into meeting your potential soul mate, even when it takes time away from you being with that same friend.

Friends are important, but you need to keep it in perspective. When pushed to extremes, even your best, closest friends, will put the needs and welfare of their own spouse, children, and themselves, ahead of the needs and welfare of their friends, and rightly so assuming they are respectable spouses, good parents and have normal personal boundaries.

You deserve that kind of loving commitment of your own, with your own life partner if you want it. You will have to make some different choices than you made in the past to get it.

Your happiness must never be based on your friend's approval.

You are the one that must accept the consequences of your choices. Whether those consequences are your life being ruined for choosing the wrong person OR living a (for lack of a better term) happily-ever-after; those are your consequences to deal with, not your friends consequences.

If you want to get to know someone but are reluctant to give that person a chance because you are afraid that your friends will not approve, then you are telling the world that you deserve all the misery a lonely future has in store for you.

An example of this: Your friends accuse you of lowering your standards because the person you happen to like is someone they would consider unattractive.

Sorry, but whether you do what you want, or you do what your friends want...the consequences of your choices are always the same...they are always YOURS.

Until you come to terms with the fact that the only approval you really need to build the love life you want is your own, you will never get to the higher levels of awareness to be able to have the intimate connections you have heard so much about.

If your love life choices are unduly influenced by the approval of your friends, you will never truly own your love life.

A true friend is someone who wants to see you happy. Even if that happiness means you will be spending more time with a serious romantic partner, and less time with your friend.

A true friend is OK with this.

Reason # 6
Being Single for Too Long

You wake up one day, look at the calendar and you realize that today is the anniversary of your last break up. 

It took place 10 years ago! 

Then it hits you; you have been single a long time. 

Sure, you had a date here and there, and maybe a handful of one night stands along the way, but they do not count because you did not stop being single.  In fact, even the one-night stands stopped years ago as you have reached a point where you just could not be bothered. (More of that “fun is not fulfillment” thing).