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10 Reasons why you need to appreciate the vibrator!

1. Vibrators can be used to spice it up and keep the monotony out of your sex life.
2. They speed up climax times
3. Professional Tool for Professional Results! Did you know vibrators were actually invented because a doctor was too tired from getting women to orgasm from manual stimulation?
4. Vibrators were actually invented to cure a condition called hysteria.
5. Can be use on both men and women
6. The more orgasms she has the more her body wants them, so use that to your advantage!
7. Vibrators can create more intense orgasms and offer the option for blended orgasms
8. Vibrators add a third without a third person being there
9. Women should be having at least 200 orgasms a year to help with heart health and many other health reasons, so vibrators allow her to have 200 orgasms much more easily.
10. Vibrators are a good alternative when her man isn’t available.

Men provide much more to a woman than a vibrator can!  

Women seek from men: companionship, love, touch, protection and more.


All things a vibrator can’t provide and that is why vibrators are not competition for men.  So embrace the vibrator, understand that it is your ally. Have fun and be safe.
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If you need more help in area of dating and relationship, schedule a free 30 minute discovery call at www.KarlyStein.com !

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Karly Stein of www.KarlyStein.com  is your Wing Woman when it comes to dating and relationships. She is the host of Dating, Mating and Relating with Karly Stein on www.tapthemicradio.com. Author of 101 Ideas to Create Fun and Memorable Dates and the upcoming book Anatomy of a Bad Boy, How to be the Nice Guy and Still Get the Girl.

In 2012, Karly started her path into this industry by signing up to Sell Intimate Products and she quickly discovered that she loved learning everything she could about dating, relationships, intimacy and sex and then discovered a passion for teaching about it.

In 2014, She took a Passion and Intimacy Coaching Certification course and that quickly changed her path into coaching.

Karly is passionate about men stay out of the friend zone in relationships and helping women fully embrace their feminine side.

Karly Studied Communications and studio art at the University of Denver.
She currently lives in Denver, CO.
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Burlesque is a poetic and sensual means of entertainment that typically includes striptease and comedy, generally performed in cabarets, theaters and clubs. As with music, each performance has a style, an emotion and a story of its own!

Burlesque, the title was originally founded in Europe in the early 1600’s: as a form of satire that was expressed in manuscripts. It was later picked up in theatrical works all through the 17th century until the Victorian era and then became widely popular in the 1860s to the 1940s, notably in Hollywood film between the 1930s and 1960s. 
Burlesque entertainment can be interpreted as ridicule, extravagant, sexy and daunting.

Every year, for the past twelve years, we have reinvented ourselves to offer the absolute best in burlesque because deep down inside, we believe that nothing is sexier than feeling at ease with ourselves, surrounded by like-minded people who are comfortable with their sensuality.

And while our stunning performers set the perfect example for that: self-acceptance, freedom and wild abandon, you are all invited to join our movement.

Don’t just watch Burlesque. BE Burlesque!
 

This is a guest post.

Part I

I am 43 years old, married to a great man, have a really good job at a medical company and I have three beautiful daughters aged 8, 11 and 15.  I grew up in the suburbs, was a good girl and went to a top school and graduated with a great education.  So why would I be a pole dancer?  I mean isn’t that like a stripper?  The answer is simple but still complex; yes it is and no it’s not. 
 
Let me start at the beginning.  I decided to go to a class because I really like dancing and I was a stay at home mom who felt like the walls were closing in on me.  I couldn’t really find a dance class that seemed right for me and I signed up for a six week session thinking it was a very limited commitment.  I was very nervous and told no one what I was doing.  It was a small class and we worked on building strength in our arms, so let me tell you we women do not work on this!  Holding myself up for 5 seconds was an impossible task and I could never imagine doing a whole song.  After that we would work on a trick or a move and I loved it.  It was gymnastics for adults with dance moves to tie it all together.  It was so much fun.  We women would go, laugh at ourselves because the attempts to get these moves can be pretty hilarious and we would get some exercise.  Let me say a word about the exercise part.  I never, ever felt like I was working out.  I was going to class just to have fun but suddenly my body transformed.  I built beautiful shoulders, muscled back and arms and eventually even started getting some pretty decent abs.  That’s how it started, my little class where I laughed and got fit and danced.  I loved it, but it’s pole dancing….
 
Telling people you are a pole dancer is very interesting.   There’s a very definite reaction.  It’s not like telling someone you teach yoga.   They try to be cool and supportive and you get a lot of people saying ‘cool … umm that looks hard’.  This is usually where I respond ‘it is!’ and start telling people how hard it is and the core strength one needs and how hard we all train.   I want to say for the record pole fitness/dancing is as much a sport and fitness endeavor as anything out there.  We all cross train and work extremely hard to master the moves and tricks.  At the end of the day, this is gymnastics.  We suffer broken bones, concussions and bruises, Oh the bruises!  The horrified looks you get when people see the bruises when you’re training for a competition are amazing.  The next time you see a woman wearing long sleeves and pants in the middle of summer she may just be a pole dancer.  Pole dancers work on muscle building, coordination, flexibility and balance.  A lot goes into these routines.  There’s performance, musicality, costume and creative concept as well as defying gravity with strength and skill.  We also have to make it look easy.  No judge wants to see you gasping for breath at the end of your routine.  So why would you not think this is a sport?  The Canadian Pole Fitness Association (CPFA) holds regular competitions that have required elements for every level.  There are strict guidelines about costume and what can and can’t be done.  The women and men that compete are athletes plain and simple.  Several pole organizations are making great strides in getting the IOC to recognize pole as an Olympic sport.

There’s always one thing that hangs over our heads though…it’s a pole.  Strippers use them.  The routines can be sexy and typically there are barely any clothes worn.  Let me set the record straight pole requires skin contact on the pole to hold yourself, otherwise you slip.  If you plan to take your hands off the pole then the clothes will become smaller.  There’s no difference than wearing a bathing suit or a gymnastic leotard.   Sexy is a much harder thing to address.  In the beginning I would always say that dancing and expressing yourself in that way leads to body movement than can beautiful and sexy.  Almost all dances have that element built into it, and pole dance is no different.  Does a person dancing the tango or the rumba carry the stigma of a pole dancer?  I still believe this wholeheartedly but I hate that when I say that I sound like I am trying to distance myself from women who dance in an erotic manner and even those who take off their clothes.   You can certainly be a pole dancer and really not at all relate to that world, but for all of us who so strip or are simply dipping our toe in it, then ‘HELL yes! Go for it girl!’ There’s nothing wrong with that but just because you pole dance it does not automatically mean you’re a stripper.  But for me the question is ‘what so wrong with stripping anyway?’

Profile of A Drag King
by Nat King Pole

A Drag King. Wow where do I start?

I'm a 55 year old lesbian and I've seen a lot of our history.

Short version, everybody knows what a Drag Queen is so simply put, a Drag King is the opposite, a woman that dresses like a man for the purposes of putting on a show. But drag kinging is way more multi layered than that.

When I was first coming out in the 80's lesbians were starting to slowly come out of the closet more and more and I remember most of us having short hair and a certain look that made it easy for us to recognize one another.

As we started to fight for our equal rights, something changed. I'd hear lesbians saying that we'd never get anywhere if we didn't try to fit in more and look more "straight".

As the desire for equal rights grew so did the sightings of what was then called "lipstick lesbians"which were women that looked more traditionally "feminine". That brought on a certain disdain for women like me, Butches.

Butches were not good for the cause and it made "other" lesbians look bad, as we tried too hard to prove to the heterosexual community that we were "just like them."

Now that pretty much everyone has evolved in the straight community as well as the gay one, we are now ready for Drag Kings. We are more relaxed and ready to just enjoy the differences and similarities in our sexualities. I am no longer a threat. Personally I've always just felt like I was very much a woman, with some masculine traits.

I think we all have a bit of both. It's a ladder and some are higher up on the ladder than others. Drag Kinging for me is strictly a performance deal but for others it was a stepping stone to transitioning.  Also we are not all gay even though many of us are.

In the beginning i thought my performance would appeal strictly to lesbians but as I embark on my 15th year of performing I've noticed that I've been attracting more and more heterosexuals to my shows.

My persona is an uneducated sexist know-it-all with a huge ego. Both sexes feel like I'm on their side in the battle of the sexes and they're both right.

I get the bad stuff men put women through, but being a lesbian I also understand how women can be in a relationship and what guys go through.


Dating A Drag King

There are many kinds of kings and we are attracted to many types of people.

Like I said, some that I know are straight and some date women or trans gender people.


Personally for me, the more feminine the better. I'm a sucker for the burlesque women and luckily our paths cross often.


I think it's easier to date someone in the artistic milieu since they understand how things work and don't get upset if you spend a lot of time performing and practicing.


For performers no matter the type of performance, it's the air we breath.


Also if you're the jealous type, don't even think about it because there will be pictures of me everywhere with my face in someone's cleavage. You'll have to trust that I am a faithful partner and that it's just all showbiz and image. At the moment i'm single so...


Well it's been nice talking to you, if you have any questions, write here in the comments below or find me through my website below!


Hope you learned something and will go out and enjoy a King Show sometime


Nat king Pole is Montreal's busiest drag King and has been for 15 years. As well as performing regularly In his hometown he's been making ladies swoon in Toronto, Quebec city, Ottawa and in Philadelphia, Boston, Provincetown Etc. He sings Live, writes his own parodies, dances and is just plain sexy. They call him the panty whisperer. His website is:  http://natkingpole.com/

​Below is a music video of Nat King Pole's work 

Below is an interview that both Frank Kermit and Nat King Pole participated in:

Is Your Fantasy Keeping You Single?
Holding Out for a Fantasy when Dating
By Frank Kermit
 

Fantasies can be fun. Imagining new adventures, exploring new life times, pretending to envision the effects of choices you could have or still can make, is a wondrous way to see what your life could be like.
 
In dating, however, those same warm, wonderful fantasies could be at the very source of why a person perpetually remains single.
 
Holding out for a fantasy is one of the mistakes that singles make that keeps them single. This is not to be confused with a person who has such high standards that he or she ends up just too picky to end their stay in the world of singledom.
 
Although both have roots in unreasonable expectations, the difference here is that a person with higher standards may have not yet made the interrogation of figuring out what they have as an absolute boundary, and what is merely a preference for their love life.
 
A person who is holding out for a fantasy is trapped in a dream world, clinging to the hope that a mere mortal human being will do impossible feats (such as agree with everything you say, and hang on your every whim, and only live to serve your needs).
 
The fantasy holder is willing to pass up real people who are good candidates for dating because of the real flaws that all humans have.
 
Some people who are trapped holding out for a fantasy may have been hypnotizing themselves for years (even from the time of their childhood) of what their future soul mate will look like, pegged that person’s career or social status, and have already planned out how they will meet, to the point where they scripted the entire perfect dialogue of what that person will say to ignite the ultimate chemistry.
 
(Evidently, a decently good-looking stranger approaching them in regular conversation saying they should hang out is just not good enough to merit a chat over a cup of coffee.)
 
The fantasy is like an award nominated story, turned into an award-winning movie with just the right mix of romance, suspense, drama, passion and of course, humor.
 
Almost brings a tear to the eye, at the euphoric climatic moment of the fantasy when the chance meeting turns into true love. Sadly, however, when fantasy comes crashing into concrete reality, reality tends to win.
 
There is no real human being that can win when in competition with an internal fantasy. Human beings, and for that matter real life, simply cannot beat a succulent well-crafted fantasy of dating love and romance.
 
Real human beings do real things like blow their nose, get nervous, sweat, and have their own unique idiosyncrasies that can be charming in their own right, but generally a potential turn off if unknowingly going up against a hot brash fantasy concoction.
 
Singles, who are drunk on their own fantasy potion, tend to remain single. 
 
Perhaps that is a good thing, as it takes a certain level of maturity to merit a serious long term relationship, and a person lost in a fantasy world of how dating is supposed to be, tends not to be the kind of partner that can be counted on, regardless of how well intention-ed their hearts might be.
 
Stay real people.


 
Learn The Emotional Needs Mastery System

Check out the Benefits of COACHING

The Mother-Lover Theory:
Understanding the Emotional Needs of Women
By Frank Kermit
 

A woman can only play one of two roles in a man's life.
She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both.

When a man addresses a woman's emotional needs, her mothering instinct is halted, and thus by default, she feels more of a pull to potentially being his lover.

When a man violates a woman's emotional needs, her mothering instincts kick in, and she feels more mothering feelings towards him, and feels pushed away from potentially being his lover.
 

For example, one of the emotional needs of a woman is the protection of her most important asset: her reputation. When a woman is around a man that hurts the reputation of other women when he is around her, she knows that she cannot fully let her guard down. She has to be the adult in the dynamic because the man is not mature enough to appreciate how un-calibrated (and possibly creepy) his behavior is. Since she feels the need to be the adult in the situation in order to make sure that she does not inadvertently say anything around him that he could repeat to others (in the same way he is speaking poorly about others in front of her), she is enacting a behavior that is akin to how a mother must be careful of her wording, least an infant repeats her words in an inappropriate manner.
 

When a man actively presents himself as a gentleman that does not kiss and tell, and that does not speak disparagingly of other women in front of her, she can let her guard down enough to feel comfortable with him to the point of being intimate with him, knowing her reputation will not be in any way tarnished by him. She does not have to be akin to a mother afraid of what an infant will repeat, because she recognizes that she is dealing with a man, not a little boy, that is mature enough for her to enter into mature relations with.
 

Male friends of women, specially those men that are in love with their women friends, but their women friends refuse to date them have actually violated her emotional needs. This is WHY male friends have been banished into the sexless friend-zone. If there was one common element that all "just friends" males have exhibited, it is that at some point, and usually in an ongoing fashion, these men make their female friends feel like they have to mother these guys. These nice guys, can be good friends (very giving friends at that), but they do not engender feelings that would make her want to be his lover, because he makes her feel like his mother. He likely tells her his problems, seeking the validation of her approval, and wants her to make the first move. All these behaviors force her into a mothering role in his life and that kills any potential of sexual attraction.
 
Men that are a challenge, to the point of being jerks at times, address women's emotional needs indirectly, which is why many women can not help but love those -bad boys-. Despite all the negatives that can be attributed to bad boys, the one thing that makes many bad boys so gosh darn appealing to women is the fact that bad boys do not tolerate any mothering behaviors from the women who love them. Bad boys will not ask their lovers for -mothering- advice; bad boys will do what they want to do without needing approval. Bad boys don't like listening to a woman's helpful suggestions, as they act out to stop her "nagging". In fact, the most notorious player type bad boys reject and even chastise their lovers for trying to do things for them (like cleaning the house or doing their laundry) because those bad boys interpret those actions as her trying to evolve some sort of control over him (she gets to check up on his stuff to see what he has been up to). Men who refuse to be controlled by the actions of women, even if those actions were meant as a form of courtesy and not control, constantly challenge her mothering instinct and thus she can not help but find him sexually appealing.

 
Long-term couples experience this issue but in a different way. At the beginning of the relationship, a man addresses a woman's emotional needs and she feels like being his lover. However, over the course of their long term relationship, they settle into a comfortable routine, where she finds herself becoming more and more of his mother, and feels less and less like his lover. Men tend to be oblivious to this effect, because part of the emotional needs of men is to identify femininity as women being courtesy. When courtesy is taken too far however, it becomes mothering. A man will not even realize this until a woman expresses how unhappy or resentful she has become in the relationship.
 

I am suggesting a message to all people that have women partners, especially to those relationships that have children where the woman spends most of her entire time being "mom" or "step mom". Make sure that you remind your lady that she is more than just her children's mother. She is also your lover. Make her feel like your lover by making sure that at least for one day, she does not feel like her partner's mother too.


Learn The Emotional Needs Mastery System

The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future
By Frank Kermit
 

The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key and secret to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. If you happen to run into someone that is already attracted to you for the way you look, the way you carry yourself, or your presumed status in that environment, that is not seduction. That is getting lucky. That person already liked you, and all you have to do is not screw it up by acting creepy, obnoxious or socially awkward.
 

In fact, if someone already likes you enough just because of such factors, you end up getting a higher margin for errors in case you do act in an unattractive way. In those cases, you get the connection, not because of your unattractive qualities, but in spite of them.
 

The principle behind the secret of seduction happening in the future is that if you can get the other person to create a future with you in their minds, you have begun the process of seducing that person. For example, when talking about your future hopes, dreams and goals it is seductive to also include the fact that you want someone to share that future with, and demonstrate the role that the person you are talking to (or a hypothetical someone else) could fill in your life.
 

The more you can elaborate describing where someone can fit into your life, the more that person will build a future with you in their minds. That builds up attachment and attraction.
 

The premise behind this is that although our conscious minds can differentiate between reality and fantasy, our subconscious mind does not. According to the subconscious mind your fantasy is as real as the reality of the situation, and your emotions react to your fantasies as if they were real. That is why, each time you remember something (whether a good experience or a bad one) you may also relive the emotions of it, and carry those emotions into your present day life.
 

That is why one of the ways to get over someone is to break the pattern of imagining what your life would have been like if you had stayed together. Get it?
 

This is not some kind of manipulative tactic. It is a way human beings process information and emotionally react to it. In fact, most of us do it to ourselves all the time. If you have ever fallen for someone that you did not even date yet, it is because of this principle.
 

People seduce themselves. We get ourselves attached to careers we never tried, vacations we never had, and people we have never dated just because we spend so much time fantasying about what it is going to be like in the future, that we get confused between the fantasy future we build, and the reality that we have not even had the job interview, traveled to the location nor had the first date.
 

This is why when you are interested in someone; the longer you wait to make a first move, the worse it is. If you spend your time day dreaming about dating someone instead of making your move, the fictional future you are creating will actually make being a real relationship with that person even more difficult. You will not only be distracted from getting to know that person, you will also have to battle your own unrealistic expectations that could cloud your objectivity.
 

The reality of dating will never live up to the fantasy of dating, and you could end up disappointed and break away from an actual emotionally healthy love because you were too caught up in forcing that person to live up to the mold you created in your head.
 

Now, can you imagine what it would be like to talk to this person, find common traits with this person, share personal experiences with this person, and have this person be an important part of your life even though you do not really know this person? If you can, I will see you in the future.
 



Purchase the 10th Anniversary Edition of the Autobiography:
FROM LOSER TO SEDUCER- THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF FRANK KERMIT


Purchase the Audio Book based on the original edition of the Autobiography:
AUDIO-BOOK FROM LOSER TO SEDUCER- THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF FRANK KERMIT


Purchase the Audio Book on The Ethics of Seduction:
HOW TO BE THE ETHICAL SEDUCER


Purchase the Audio Book on how to decorate your Bachelor Pad  (and see the awesome video presentation on that page!)
PIMPING YOUR PAD

This is a contributed post.

A Poly Date For Valentine’s Day
By Frank Kermit
 
A Poly Date is when you go on a date with more than one person. Whereas a date is traditionally considered to be only between two people, a Poly Date is when 3 or more people all get together with the intent of carrying out a romantic date.
 
An old mentor of mine used to say that if you openly date more than one person at the same time, be very wary of Valentine’s Day. The mentor told me that it was a day that caused the break ups of all the relationships you were in, except the one you made plans with way ahead of time, as all your other partners will feel neglected that you did not choose them. I asked the mentor what was the best way to handle it? The old mentor told me to try to be out of town for that day to avoid it.
 
I did not like that idea.  Why try to hide and manipulate anyone?  Why would it offend anyone if you were honest about dating non-exclusively? I decided that if I ever got to that point of openly dating more than one person at the same time, and Valentine’s Day came upon us, that I wanted to try something new. One year I did just that when I was casually seeing two girlfriends during a period of my life when I practiced consensual non-monogamy. Both knew that the other relationship existed and they both agreed to continue to date me.  I had been honest about my non-monogamous lifestyle from the first date.
 
I wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with both of them. I did not want to choose one over the other. I liked them both. So I did the opposite of what my mentor suggested. I was honest with both of them and invited them both to spend the whole day together.
 
They agreed!  None of us at the time had ever tried anything like this before. Both my girlfriends had previously only ever practiced monogamous relationships, while I had only practiced non-monogamy for a few years, but never had a poly date. Also note that neither of my girlfriends had previously met before. When I asked each girlfriend why she agreed to try it, they both said (among other things) that the novelty of the experience was a huge factor. Having never tried it, it was a new experience they were open too. 
 
The evening included a reservation at a nice restaurant in which I instructed the establishment to please set a table for three with the plates in a triangular placement. Given that it was Valentine’s Day, and that only couples filled up the restaurant, the three of us were getting quite a bit of attention that night  (Especially from the restaurant staff).
 
I played chauffeur while the two of them sat in the back seat together to get to know each other a little better. Then the three of us headed to a second location, a large high-end multi-level sex shop where they could use up their Valentine’s Day gift cards I had given each of them. While perusing the shop, I got to spend a little time alone with each of them. Finally, I took all three of us back to my place where we collaborated cutting fruit for chocolate fondue. It was a groundbreaking experience for me, and I made sure to tell both my girlfriends this and thanked them for being so open-minded.
 
At one point the three of us were walking on the street arm and arm (and arm), a girlfriend on each side with me in the middle. There was no greater feeling. It put a smile on my face. Simple-total-pleasure. I really liked both these women and if things had gone a little differently I really do think I could have married either one, or even attempted an ongoing triad relationship. But life had other plans for the three of us.
 
That Valentine’s Day was like no other for me personally.  It was one of the most peaceful, endearing, healing, life changing, monumental, loving moments that I will treasure in memory for the rest of my life. At the time that it happened, I had NEVER had a good V-Day.   Never. Until that moment in time, V-Day was the day that I either got dumped, had to end it with someone, or found myself alone.
 
Since that time, I had more poly dates during the period when I practiced consensual non-monogamy, and have also had even better Valentine’s Days.  My first Poly Date was a good experience, but not every Poly Date is going to go as smoothly. 
 
If you do attempt a Poly Date, here are a few things to keep in mind.
 
Although the Kinsey Institute did a study that found that about 21% of Americans engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lifetime, that does not mean everyone you suggest it to is going to like the idea.  In fact, many of the people you may ask out for a Poly Date might completely refuse to ever date you at all just for suggesting it. It is not for everyone, and if you intend to make it part of a regular lifestyle, you will likely find that some people are very against the entire concept. Some people, including family and friends, may even completely abandon you for wanting a non-monogamous lifestyle.
 
In cases where you do find someone willing to take part in a Poly Date (whether it is bringing a third person to go out with an already established couple, three or more people that all share a common partner or two, or couples-dating-couples for an adventure of swapping partners) that does not mean that the dates will go where you might want them too. Dating with only two people involved, is a mesh of chemistry, compatibility, and balancing boundaries with expectations; it can be more challenging the more people you involve. At times, it can work out nicely, and other times, personalities clash, conflicts erupt between paramours of partners, and the whole experience can blow up in your face, and even cost you the very relationships you were trying to expand upon. For example, the two people you brought together for your Poly Date might like each other more than they like you, and they become a couple and dump you at the end of the night. Ouch!
 
So, if the risks are high and the chances of it working out are even more challenging than traditional dating, then why I am even telling you about it?  I am sharing my experiences with you because I learned a lot from my experiences with Poly Dates. It changed the way I see all relationships. It made me a believer about the possibilities that can exist between any two people (or more as the case may be). It made me a believer that people can build their own unique relationship structures that best suit them, and that if they are willing to risk rejection; they can and will find people to have those unique relationship structures with. Not because any of it is easy. A relationship between only two people is not “easy”.  You just have to be a believer that you can make your dating and relationship goals happen.  That is why I am telling you about it. It takes a believer to turn a fantasy dream into every day life goals. Believe.





To learn about the Hierarchy of Dating and Relationships which covers non-monogamous relationship structures: Click here to buy a copy of the Coaching Workbooks
For Men : I'm a Man, That's My Job
For Women : I'm a Woman, It's My Time

To learn more about Frank's very first Poly Date, Click here to buy a copy of his autobiography:
From Loser To Seducer

To learn more about Monogamy, Non-Monogamy and Couples in Transition, Click here to buy a copy of Frank Talks Articles: Volume 3: The Monogamy and Non-Monogamy Edition

To learn more about Non-Monogamy and Alternative Relationship Choices, Click here to buy an audio program:ALTERNATIVE RELATIONSHIP CHOICES: Non-Monogamy

To learn about how to date multiple women honestly, Click here to buy the ebook:
THE POWER OF CHOICE: HOW TO DATE MULTIPLE WOMEN HONESTLY