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Top 5 Rules for Taking 2019 by the Proverbial Balls
By Carrie Joyner
New Year, New Me....we hear it all the time. But how many of us really mean it?
There are a lot of negative posts floating around on social media about 2018 and a lot of optimism about 2019.
This is going to be the year, apparently, that everyone with an Instagram or facebook account change everything.
I love the romanticism of the idea, but it’s kind of the same story every year and a lot of hype goes into the New Year and its symbolism.
I think it’s fabulous to “review” the year- what went wrong, what went right, what didn’t change and what needs to change. Kind of an inventory check aka self- reflection.
The reality is most of us are probably going to party way too hard tonight and wake up nursing one of the worst hangovers of the “new year”. Ah, maybe the New Year resolutions can start on the 2 nd of January instead of tomorrow?
Either way, doing my own self-reflection I pin-pointed a few things that I need to change or at least be mindful of this year.
1.) Respect Time.
“The Problem is that you Think you have Time”- Buddha
I love this quote. I think Buddha meant this more universally about being present and mindful, but it applies to punctuality, too. I have noticed, and so have others (cough, cough) that I tend to leave things a little to the last minute, especially when it comes to being “on time”.
Whether it’s for a meeting, work, getting my son to school, showing up to a scheduled dinner, etc- I always seem to be “just on time”, a few minutes late or some natural disaster prevented me from showing up anywhere near on time.
It’s a problem.
And it’s rude.
I always say how much I hate it when people waste my time by cancelling meetings, not showing up, making me wait, etc.- so why do I feel that it is excusable for me to do the exact same thing to others? It’s not. When I owned my yoga/fitness studio I would be livid if I didn’t start one of my classes on time for whatever reason or if an instructor came in late with car trouble excuses yet a room full of clients waiting to start the class. It was my show, though...and if anything happened on my watch, I was accountable.
Lately I seem to be making a lot of excuses to myself and others about my punctuality and that is going to change out of respect to the others that it affects. Time is money, we all know this, but is also a verbal contract with the other person when a meeting is set; whether it is drinks with a friend or an early meeting with colleagues, punctuality does matter and a lack thereof doesn’t go unnoticed. I used to work for a film producer and we had a lot of meetings with directors, actors and other very animated characters, one famous porn star in particular was always late...if she showed at all.
Sitting at a famous restaurant in Beverly Hills waiting for her one day, the producer said to me “5 minutes late is understandable, 10 is annoying and anything over 15 minutes is just rude”. That stayed with me but hasn’t exactly been applied, until now. The president of the radio station I work with now takes it another degree higher and says “showing up on time means you are late. Always plan for something to go wrong and show up early”.
Food for thought and advice I will take with me into 2019. I don’t think I will be joining the 5am club, but maybe setting the alarm a bit earlier. Baby steps.
2.) Find and nurture love
I have wrestled with this one a lot over the course of my life so far. A lot of important people have come and gone from my bubble over the years, and I am not referring to death- just leaving or being left. I am also not just referring to romantic love, but the ability to trust, love and release your entire being to another with full confidence. Going through my parents divorce in my teenage years and my own in my thirties was not fun or easy. Not that it ever is. I can admit that I have abandonment issues which probably prematurely wrecked or sabotaged some other very important relationships with people I cared about in the past.
For that, I am sorry. I put up the walls and always used that “you can’t fire me because I quit” mentality if anyone got too close and I thought I could get hurt.
Fight or flight?
It ultimately doesn’t do anyone any favors and is a fabulous way to cheat myself out of a lot of goodness. In some cases, crazy just has to go but they are the exceptions to the rule. There is a communication gap in a lot of relationships and it needs to be filled, as painful as it may be at the time, it HAS to be filled. We all have, will be or are going through relationship issues- whether they are friendships, romantic, parental or professional. It is very easy to look back and dwell on the past, to dissect it and get caught up in details and existential grief. It is much harder to just be where you are.
Breath it in, soak it in and take that inventory again of who IS in your life right now that brings love, joy, happiness and focus on nurturing and growing those relationships. Learning to soften and let go into the arms of love- be that of a child, lover or friend...to really open up, be vulnerable and soak in love.
Listen, learn and love.
It is such a cliché, but its an inside job and it starts with one’s self...which leads me to number three;
3.) Radical Self Care
For a new mom, this could be as simple as a 30 minute (ok, fifteen?) bath with candles and soft zen music as someone watches the baby. Just TAKE TIME to be alone. I have been learning this as time marches on.
My son is almost twelve, so the new mom category is out for me, but I have been doing this a lot lately. Reading more, watching movies, sleeping in, going to the gym... just unplugging from life
when I can etch out a few minutes, hours...whatever.
Just making sure I do this every day makes being a single mom with two jobs actually fun. Here’s another cliché, but we all know that you will never be able to love or give of yourself freely if you don’t take the time to nurture and honor yourself. Running around in thirty different directions most of the time is a reality for most single working parents with a child in sports...but carving out that “me” time and making it a DAILY ritual is the key to not only functioning but thriving in light and love.
Take that trip! Hang out with that girl from high school who messaged you out of the blue on Facebook. Disconnect so you have more room to fully connect.
It’s like charging your phone...it eventually dies if you don’t charge it, right? It’s not about being selfish, its about self preservation and ultimately, getting that glow back. Maybe its not a brand new wardrobe or expensive surgeries- but a pretty new top, or a hair cut, or a massage up north at a thermal spa.
Get militant with protecting your downtime.
Say NO more.
Do LESS when you can and don’t need to be overextending for useless gatherings with people you don’t care about.
Networking is amazing, but in small organized doses. That’s what it has been for me lately- prioritizing my time and making sure I am giving myself enough of that yummy me time.
4.) Be Kind
It’s that simple.
As a former yoga teacher I learned a lot from my students. The most important lesson is to back off on the knee-jerk judgement calls on people.
You honestly never really know what the other person has been or is going through. EVERYONE has a story. Take the time to smile at strangers, but not in a creepy way, of course, and preferably not in a public bathroom.
Just be gentle with people.
Not everyone is out to get you, and some people may be on the verge of some pretty dark stuff that you know nothing about. Give your clothes away to a shelter, buy a homeless person a meal or at least a coffee or tea, tip more than you normally do if the waiter/waitress went out of their way to serve you with a smile even though they could be having a horrible day.
It doesn’t take much to do something nice for someone everyday and it doesn’t have to cost a thing. It could just be a compliment, opening a door, asking someone how they are doing... whatever.
I find you get treated the way you treat people.
Maybe just simple karmic law, but I plan on finding a lot more ways to, simply put, be nice.
(Side note: Don’t be a fool either ...some people don’t deserve your energy. Learn how to read this carefully and donate that energy accordingly. Know when to trust your gut and move on).
5.) Be grateful
One of my friends on Facebook posted something yesterday that instantly got me thinking about how grateful I am for everything I am and have.
I am far from perfect and there is a laundry list of things that I
need to work on, from my physical health to career goals to finding a really good hair treatment... just constantly striving to better myself.
But I have my health, ten fingers, ten toes, my beautiful son and family, friends, a great career, love, both my parents are healthy and alive...another nephew is on the way soon.
I am so blessed and the gifts keep growing. So, this friend on Facebook posted about someone in his life who was in a wheel chair for 30 years, and now entering into their last quarter of life, a woman who broke a leg or a hip or something...and all of his pictures were of her as a young woman; healthy, beautiful, strong and then a photo of her in a wheel chair lifting weights at what looked like about eighty years old in a hospital somewhere.
DAMN! I thought.
It really is all about how we look at things/situations and our attitude that can get us in or out of a positive mind set.
Sometimes I hear people complaining about really trivial stuff (I need to lose 20 lbs, guys don’t hit on me anymore, I can’t afford XYZ, I am not smart enough, good looking enough, etc) and I will admit I get caught up in the negative self talk myself at times, but the important thing to remember is these fighters.
Warriors, really.
Never getting caught up in a defeatist mindset, rather focusing on the end game.
I guess that is what it comes down to this time of year.
Goals.
I said “baby steps” before, and while I do
believe the small changes add up to the big ones, I think selling ourselves short of our wildest dreams is
a mistake.
Tonight, as everyone is out partying,
I am going to set down some pretty lofty goals for 2019
because I know I can attain them.
Shoot for the moon,
because even if you don’t reach you will still end
up with the stars, right?
Happy New Year! Cheers to owning 2019
Carrie Joyner
About The Author
Carrie Joyner is
a regular contributor to the
FrankTalks.com/Blog
To Read Her Last Posts:
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/tinder-breaks-and-breakthroughs
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/bye-felipe
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/seeing-ghosts-ghosting-and-online-dating
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/swiping-right-on-tinder-jumping-in-to-online-dating
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/the-power-of-the-yoga-community-and-the-drive-by-divorce
Carrie Joyner is
a regular contributor to the
FrankTalks.com/Blog
To Read Her Last Posts:
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/tinder-breaks-and-breakthroughs
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/bye-felipe
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/seeing-ghosts-ghosting-and-online-dating
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/swiping-right-on-tinder-jumping-in-to-online-dating
https://www.franktalks.com/blog/the-power-of-the-yoga-community-and-the-drive-by-divorce
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Are you in a possible toxic relationship?
Are you looking to help someone who is in a toxic relationship? What is a toxic relationship?
Learn more in this contributed post.
Are you looking to help someone who is in a toxic relationship? What is a toxic relationship?
Learn more in this contributed post.
Have Faith In Your Own Self-Awareness
The compulsion to explore whether you’re in a toxic relationship could be due to; your own perception of your relationship or your concern over someone else's, the suggestion by another that you are in a bad relationship without your awareness, or even the thought that you may be the perpetrator, the victim or that both of you in the relationship are accomplices in being abusive to one another. This post sets the foundation for how we can stop violence against women and men, by gaining an understanding of how we interpret toxic relationships, identifying some of the common mechanisms of an abusive relationship, to having faith in your own self-awareness and taking steps to prevent, stop abuse or leave a relationship entirely.
How Do We Determine A Toxic Relationship?
For a person to define a relationship as healthy or toxic, is for a person to judge based on their own morals, values, beliefs and their acceptance of the law that governs their state to determine what is proper behavior and actions in a relationship and what is wrong. However, no two peoples beliefs, values, upbringing and experience of seeing and being in relationships are exactly the same. Furthermore, toxicity doesn’t arrive wrapped in the same packaging for everyone to define it as something that’s immediately obvious. It creeps up in all shapes and forms, sometimes unnoticed such as the gaslighting effect, manipulation, and mind games other times tragically obvious, such as forcing substance misuse, murdering or raping of a partner. In other cases, it’s difficult for someone who is prone to being the victim, to see that they might also contribute in being abusive themselves. For some of the signs that distinguish whether you may be involved in a bad relationship, preview the next section.
Common Traits Of Toxic Relationships
Part of this post is to explore beyond the us and them view, “they are the abusers, and I am the victim,” it’s also to create a sense of self-awareness on whether we may unknowingly actually be abusive ourselves. By previewing the signs below, this may trigger whether you may be the culprit, accomplice or victim of a toxic relationship.
- Consistent critical judgment - a partner who puts you down regularly knowingly or unknowingly, which makes you lose confidence, doubt yourself and might make you change yourself.
- Dishonesty - lack of trust between partners, whether with merit due to an event that has left you to distrust another or without any cause at all.
- Control - emotionally or physically controlling aspects of your life without invitation or approval. Such as the clothes you wear, the food you eat, your finances, what you can and can’t do or say, where you can and can’t go. Control can appear in the form of threats to prevent you from exhibiting certain behavior or actions. Bouts of pleasant behavior may trick you into believing your partner means you no harm and implements controlling behavior to “protect” you.
- Physical harm - fear or apprehension caused intentionally or recklessly by hurting another on their body. Cutting someone's hair is also physical harm if you have not been permitted by the person to do it.
- Gaslighting effect - a slow, unnoticeable process of brainwashing, a method of manipulation used gradually by lying, confusing the victim, calling the other crazy, making them doubt what is real (a method used in cults, for example, the Charles Manson murders). It may be difficult to recognize if you’re a victim of gaslighting.
This is a non-exhaustive list of how abuse might occur between two people.
Self Awareness In Relationships
With the above mentioned it may be difficult to define whether some of these situations you have endured could be interpreted as abuse, or you may convince yourself that although some of the above mentioned may have happened in your relationship, that they’re not severe and won’t lead to any other toxic behavior. When we’re in a relationship, it’s difficult for us to see things objectively. Moreover, when we’re outside of a relationship, we may fail to see the whole picture and what actually occurs behind doors. However, if you feel you may be inflicting or have inflicted harm on someone else you can seek professional help to prevent violence in your relationship and any issues escalating into irreparable damage that could affect you or another person both physically and psychologically. Never doubt your feelings if you think you are being mistreated, or that you are hurting someone close to you. Your emotions and gut instinct will give you an indication that something isn’t right in your relationship. To prevent falling victim to or being part of the abusive pattern in your relationships, there are preventative measures that can be taken.
Don’t make way for abusive behavior by consciously pushing your moral boundaries back to allow for abuse. Don’t discount your feelings towards abuse as unimportant. Don’t fall into an oblivion of believing normalized abuse portrayed by the media on tv, films and social media is what love entails. Protect yourself as you would your own children, be protective of your mind and body and seek family, friends and professional support from organizations such as https://www.thehotline.org/help/ to enable you to take steps to solve or end your relationship problems. More than anything, don’t wait and hope it won’t happen again.
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Are you lacking confidence in relationships?
Read 5 tips that can help you be more confident in this contributed post.
Read 5 tips that can help you be more confident in this contributed post.
Being Confident In Yourself Helps Your Relationship
Being self-confident in a relationship is not always easy, especially if you have been hurt in one before. Being self-confident can improve a relationship though as well as being better for your overall well being. Life throws enough stresses at us without you worry about the state of your relationship.
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
No one will make you feel more worthless than you. You should value your own worth, as this will make you feel and look better. If it helps, have a new hairstyle or change the color of your hair. Anything that helps you feel more confident is good. It is very easy to be your own worst enemy and that has to stop right now!
Be An Individual
You should not let yourself become an extension of your partner. You are an individual with your own dreams and aspirations. People who have lived on their own for a while are often better at this because they are used to considering just themselves. Although no one would ever suggest you should be selfish, you do sometimes have to put yourself first.
It can be great if you have a shared interest, but it is also good to have an interest of your own. Apart from keeping you mixing with other people, it is something else for the pair of you to discuss.
You should also make sure you stay in touch with friends that you knew before you met your partner. It may well be that they socialize with both of you, but you should still have an occasional evening for just you and your friends.
Take Time To Have Fun Together
Self-Disclosure
Tell your partner a secret about yourself that no one else knows. Sharing secrets or things you are ashamed of from your past can help to establish a feeling of intimacy between you. Self-disclosure can help to build your confidence in each other. For instance, if in the past a sex therapist has helped you over a problem, or you once dated someone who turned out to be a drug taker and you almost got involved in them too, your partner will be pleased that your problems were solved and that you have the confidence in them to be honest about your past.
Don’t Settle For Second Best
Do not let your self-esteem drop so low that you put up with someone who is constantly criticizing you and does not show you any respect. Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for them behaving in this way. You deserve better than this, so don’t settle for second best. Walk away from the relationship, as there is no doubt that someone better will come along one day. Yes, it can be hard, but it will benefit you both in the long-term.
Have Fun
Make sure you have fun together sometimes at least. Laughing together is a great help for any relationship, and yours will be no different. It could be at a film you are watching or maybe playing some sort of game. Having a fun element in any relationship is vitally important if it is to succeed.
Tell your partner a secret about yourself that no one else knows. Sharing secrets or things you are ashamed of from your past can help to establish a feeling of intimacy between you. Self-disclosure can help to build your confidence in each other. For instance, if in the past a sex therapist has helped you over a problem, or you once dated someone who turned out to be a drug taker and you almost got involved in them too, your partner will be pleased that your problems were solved and that you have the confidence in them to be honest about your past.
Don’t Settle For Second Best
Do not let your self-esteem drop so low that you put up with someone who is constantly criticizing you and does not show you any respect. Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for them behaving in this way. You deserve better than this, so don’t settle for second best. Walk away from the relationship, as there is no doubt that someone better will come along one day. Yes, it can be hard, but it will benefit you both in the long-term.
Have Fun
Make sure you have fun together sometimes at least. Laughing together is a great help for any relationship, and yours will be no different. It could be at a film you are watching or maybe playing some sort of game. Having a fun element in any relationship is vitally important if it is to succeed.
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Do You Know How To Host A Great Christmas Party For Your Employees That They Will Love?
Read this contributed post to learn 5 tips that will help you plan a memorable event.
Read this contributed post to learn 5 tips that will help you plan a memorable event.
Christmas Parties Are a Great Way To Bring Everyone Together
The Christmas party season is officially upon us, and whether you’re already planning something for your employees or are stuck for ideas - maybe you thought you would just skip it this year completely and let them arrange something on their own, office Christmas parties really are a great way to bring everyone together and wind down after a long year and show appreciation for the hard work they’ve been putting in.
So, if you’re struggling to come up with some good ways to celebrate and ensure that everyone has a great time, then we’ve got you covered.
In this post, we’re going to share with you some tips for how to throw a great Christmas party for your team so you’ll hopefully go down as the best boss in history - or at least a pretty cool one.
Set a budget:
This may not be the most enjoyable part of planning a party, but it’s essential because it’s so easy to get carried away and letting things get out of hand when arranging the different elements of the Christmas party, so ensuring you set a budget from the beginning and are able to stick to it is definitely an important thing to take care of since it will allow you plan more efficiently and effectively without going crazy on the spending side of things.
Find a great venue:
This is one of those things that is always going to be easier the more notice you give, but even if you’ve left it a bit last minute it’s still going to be possible to find a great venue - it may not be your first, or even your second choice, but you’ll be able to find something that fits what you’re looking for. The other thing to consider is that some of the venues that have been booked well in advance may have cancellations, so it’s always a good idea to reach out to them and let them know if they have any cancellations to contact you as you’d be willing to put a deposit down right away - this is a win-win, since they’re not losing out and may even gain a bit extra since the deposits are generally non-refundable so the person who cancelled would have already had to let theirs go.
Decide if you’re having it catered:
Although catering can set you back quite a bit, it’s a pretty good thing to do for your staff - especially if alcohol is going to be flowing freely. Instead of having everyone have a sit-down meal, then a buffet option could be more cost effective and is actually a better option since it’s more casual and relaxed. When it comes to catering, it’s also worth deciding how you’re going to work the drinks. If you’re going to go for an open bar, then this will cost more, but you can usually speak to the venue and get them to work out some kind of deal with you so instead of paying per drink, you just pay a flat fee for the night and this will definitely put you up there as one of the coolest bosses ever.
Decide on a theme:
Themes are a pretty fun way to add a new level to a Christmas party, and although it’s Christmas, your theme doesn’t need to have anything to do with the Holidays - it can be fancy dress, it can be a theme that involves fun masks, or it can really be anything that’s a bit out there - or something that has a special meaning for your company and employees. It really doesn’t matter, but the idea is to have fun and get creative with it. You can have a look online for lots of inspiration around coming up with good themes for your party.
Arrange entertainment:
A party isn’t a party without entertainment, so decide on things like whether you want a DJ, a band, or whether you’d like to bring in a company like The Bartender Company to pour some great drinks and even mix up special themed cocktails for people or even have a funny photo booth. You have loads of ways you could get creative with this, so don’t be afraid to look into different and quirky entertainment options for your office Christmas because this is the stuff that will make it memorable for all the right reasons, and good entertainment doesn’t have to cost a lot.
We hope this list has given you some good tips and ideas for planning your office Christmas party this year - or even in the future.
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Have you ever thought about designing your own engagement ring? Learn how by reading this contributed post.
Your Engagement Ring Represents The Unique Bond Between You And Your Partner
Deciding to get married is one of the most wonderful, exciting things that can happen in someone's life. And right at the start of it all is that one special thing: the ring. That outward sign to the world that you're ready to tie the knot! And, let's face it, it has to be perfect. No-one wants to walk around with a ring that they hate on their finger, do they? The other thing is that you don't want it to be just any ring. This is one of the biggest things that you'll ever do; you want it to be unique and individual. Your engagement ring should be something that represents the unique bond between you and your partner. So a lot of people have taken to designing their own ring. If the bespoke approach appeals to you, then here are some tips on designing your very own engagement ring.
Pick your stone
Now, the traditional approach would tell you that diamond engagement rings are always the best option. And, let's be honest, it's a classic for a reason! If that's the direction you want to go, then you can find diamonds in all sorts of shapes and sizes to suit your personal taste. If you're interested in something a little different, or your budget doesn't quite stretch to diamonds, then there are lots of other options available. You could choose your birthstone or even a ring that combined yours and your partner's. If you wanted to you could decorate the main stone with smaller diamonds, just to get that traditional quality in there without breaking the bank. The great thing about designing your own ring is that you have the freedom to base it around whatever you like, or at least whatever your budget will allow!
Setting
Once you've got your rock all picked out, you've got to decide how it is that you're going to set it. Think about your lifestyle. Are you an active, outdoorsy type? Then a lower setting might be better. But if you prefer to really show off your style and you want everyone to see it, then why not go for a really high profile setting! Again, the choice is completely up to you! This might seem like an extremely small touch and one that you really don't need to think too much about. But this is probably going to be a ring that you're going to be wearing, along with your wedding band, for the rest of your life. You want to make sure that everything about it exactly right for you, your tastes, and your lifestyle.
Choose the band
A lot of people focus so heavily on the jewel that they forget about the ring itself. You a have few choices here, but the most common are gold and platinum. Think about your personal style as well as the jewel you've chosen. If you prefer warm shades then gold might be best, but if your style and the jewel go better with cooler hues then platinum is probably your best bet. Of course, style isn't the only thing that you should consider. You also have things like the weight and strength of the band as well. Sure, gold or silver are incredibly traditional but they can also be rather soft and delicate. If you want something a little more weighty and strong then why not consider palladium instead? Again, these might seem like incredibly inconsequential changes but the truth is that crafting the perfect engagement ring is always going to come down to the little details and how you're able to make them work to achieve what you really want out of them.
Consider Your Budget When Purchasing An Engagement Ring
Consider your budget
This might not be the thing that you really want to think about, but budget is always going to factor into the kind of ring that you're going to have when the day of the proposal arrives. Whether your partner is taking care of the cost of the ring or you're doing something a little more modern and splitting the cost between you, you need to make sure that you're working within your means. After all, as wonderful as it is to promise yourself to your partner, the last thing you want is to one or both of you to end up bankrupt for the sake of a ring. Sure, this might mean that there are some compromises that you might have to make, but you can almost certainly still find something really wonderful, even if you end up having cut a few corners here and there.
What about two rings?
Now, if you're a real stickler for tradition when it comes to your engagement and your wedding, you might want to look away now since this bit suggests something really rather unusual and different that more and more people are doing these days. Instead of a single engagement ring, why not get two, one for each of you? After all, as wonderful as it is to get to wear that all-important ring, your partner might feel like they're missing out on it as well. Not only that but it lets you take on the role of the one proposing as well as the one being proposed to! Again, this really isn't going to be for everyone but if you're interested in doing something a bit different that puts the two of you on equal footing then it's certainly something that's worth considering at least.
You might be thinking, "wait! Why am I the one doing this?" Well, why not! It's the Twenty-first century, after all; there's nothing wrong with having a hand in designing your own engagement ring! There's something wonderful about going through this process along with your partner to make sure that it's perfect. Sure, you might want to leave the planning of the proposal to them so you don't spoil the surprise for yourself, but being able to communicate with each other and plan these kinds of things is going to be great practice not only for your wedding but for your marriage as well!
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Do you find yourself dating at age 50 or more?
Read these 4 Tips explored in this contributed post, to learn how to make your mid-life dating a positive experience.
Read these 4 Tips explored in this contributed post, to learn how to make your mid-life dating a positive experience.
The Right Mindset Can Make Dating After 50 A Positive Experience
Divorce rates for those older than 50 in Canada have risen over 30%. This seems to be in line with international patterns, as divorce is up similarly for older Americans as well. Around the world, divorce after 50 is becoming increasingly common. After leaving a long term relationship, dating during mid-life, in the new world of trends and rules, can be very intimidating. But it doesn't have to be an insurmountable challenge. With the right mindset, dating can be a path to meet new people and have adventures. Some of the adventures might be less than perfect, but a positive attitude can make a big difference.
Try to Stay Positive
Dating at any age can be hilarious, exciting, traumatic -- but mostly, fun. At the very least, it should provide you with an amusing story or two. It can definitely help to stay open minded and attempt to be light hearted about the whole thing. Perhaps accept a date from someone you might not "normally" go out with. Expand your horizons. Try going to new places. The important thing is not to focus not on finding a long lasting relationship, but on just getting out and having fun. As counter intuitive as it might seem, keeping your eyes on the big prize -- finding another love of your life -- puts too much pressure on the situation. It's better to think of dating as just a part of reality that has its own ups and downs.
Age Is Just a Number
Lately, people have been saying that 50 is the new 30, but on the whole, your age is simply not important to what you can and cannot do. Divorce after 50 presents a range of testing and unique challenges for sure, but going out to a dance club doesn't have to be one of them. You are allowed to do other things to enjoy yourself like exploring new places, going to a bar, and even spending the night with someone new. Don't worry so much about how old you are. Think about what you want to do, and do it. You will find there are plenty of people your age out there actually still living their lives to the fullest.
Make the First Move
One fantastic thing about dating in the modern world is that women no longer have to wait to be asked out. The rules have changed since some of us were dating in our 20s and 30s. Overall, though, both men and women in their mid-lives should feel confident about taking initiative. Ask someone to dance. Send a flirty text on an internet dating site. It's possible that you might be rejected sometimes, but other times, your feelings will be reciprocated, and that builds confidence.
Try Online Dating
If you're in your 50s, online dating might sound like a desperate move, but the stigma has completely gone out of it. More and more people meet this way. There are many online dating sites from which to choose, some specializing in ethnic or religious groups. Remember, you don't have to be looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. Right. You just need to be amenable to trying to have a fun night out.
Remember in your new adventures to always be safe. It's prudent to meet people for the first time in a public place, for example. You might also want to let a friend know where and when you will be out, and call him or her when you get back. As long as you are taking care of yourself and allow yourself to enjoy new places and new company, dating doesn't have to be scary. It can be a fun, transformational part of your life as a single person.
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Dennis Murphy 1946 - 2018
Dennis Murphy (BA 67), who played an integral role in advancing the reputation of Concordia’s Department of Communication Studies,
passed away on November 20, 2018, in Montreal. He was 72.
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Are you engaged? Be inspired and plan an extraordinary destination wedding after you read this post!
Consider Travelling To Another Place To Have Your Wedding
Congratulations on your engagement! We are sure that now you are officially engaged, you are about to start planning your wedding. It doesn’t matter what type of wedding you want to have, you might be thinking about traveling abroad to have your ceremony. If this is the case, then it is a good thing that you have come across this page because we are going to talk about some extraordinary places for you to have your wedding. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to look across the seas for your own wedding. Let’s take a look at some ideas.
France
Have you ever thought about having your wedding in Paris? The City of Love is a beautiful and romantic place for you to celebrate your wedding if you can manage this. There are lots of places and picturesque settings where you could enjoy your big day around Paris. If you go online, you will find a whole list of stunning destinations with gorgeous views that anyone would be lucky to see on their wedding day.
Paris is not the only place that you can go for a beautiful wedding in France. You can go to Normandy where there are a variety of wedding venues on offer, or you could head over to Loire Valley. There really is a whole range of places to choose from in this wonderful country.
Italy
Whether you think of Venice or Rome when we say Italy, you are sure to find a beautiful location to host your wedding. Italy is a very popular destination when it comes to people deciding where to have their wedding, and this is for a good reason. There are so many beautiful fields, buildings and backdrops to choose from here, it hard to see why everyone doesn’t have their wedding here.
One of the things that you can do here is head to the Amalfi Coast for your wedding. This stunning location provides exceptional views and would be the perfect backdrop for any wedding. Don’t forget to hire your Amalfi coast photographer though, you aren’t going to want to miss a single second, and if you have the photos, you don’t have to.
Florida
A Disney Wedding Is the Ultimate For Any Disney Fan
For Disney fanatics, you might want to consider heading over to Disney World. Their wedding pavilion rivals any other destination that you could think of if Disney is something that you are in love with. Imagine getting married in their beautiful Pavillion and then heading straight into the Magic Kingdom to celebrate your wedding day. For a true Disney fan, it really isn’t going to get any better than this.
Disney offers a wedding package for those of you who are interested in something like this. If you go on their website, you will find more details about this including price and availability.
We hope that our list of extraordinary places to have your wedding has inspired you to have your wedding abroad. It can be quite tough to manage sometimes, but the beautiful location is worth every second.
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Is it worth fixing a broken relationship? There are some specific things you need to know first. Read more in this contributed post.
Relationships Require Effort
Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. Despite promising intentions at the start, when love rules and the other person is seen through rose-tinted glasses, there will be problems that set in. Petty arguments will arise. Resentments will surface. Habits will start to grate. And the once blossoming relationship may start to wilt. That's not the end of the relationship, of course.
With effort, conversation, and the attempt to recapture the love that was present early on, a relationship can be solidified. It can be repaired before further damage sets in. However, if little effort is expended, on either side, then the relationship will start to suffer, and may eventually become broken. Where once there was love and friendship, there will now be animosity. And if this is compounded by certain behaviours such as unfaithfulness and abuse, then the relationship is probably over.
So, is it worth trying to fix a broken relationship? Yes and no.
The relationship may have to end if…
- One or both people in the relationship is abusive to the other.
- There is a lack of repentance about wrong behaviour.
-Resentments continue to fester with no attempts to communicate them
- One or both people continue to be unfaithful.
- There are signs that there is no longer love in the relationship.
Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it is the right thing to do, even in a marriage. Divorce firms, such as The Vendt Law Firm, are probably the best port of call. We say 'probably' because we don't want to talk about ending a relationship where there is still hope. However, sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that yes, the chances of the relationship recovering are slim to none. When the relationship is toxic because of yourself or that other person, then saying goodbye may be the answer.
On the other hand, if there are signs that the relationship can be mended, then every effort needs to be taken.
The relationship can be mended if…
- Love hasn't gone away, and there is still a longing to be together.
- Promises have been broken, but attempts have been made to repent and start again.
- Previous hardships in the relationship have been overcome successfully.
- It's difficult to imagine a life without the other person being present.
- There is still genuine affection for the other person, despite the struggles.
If any of the signs mentioned are still relevant, then there is still a chance. Love can overcome the obstacles in the way, provided both people in the relationship are willing to make the effort. With a desire to rekindle the love that may have faded, there is still hope. And where there is hope, there is a future.
Many people are reluctant to end relationships because they worry that they will not be able to find somebody better in their life. That’s the wrong approach to take. There are literally billions of people out there, and some of them will be much more suited to you than your current partner.
However, if you want to manifest your soulmate with ease, you’ll have to focus on yourself as well. That means being more giving, more loving, and putting the other person first, even when it’s hard to do so. If things like money and status are more important to you than intimacy, you’ll always struggle to find a partner who makes sense for you.
So, what about you? Are you reading this because you are in a struggling relationship? If there are still signs of love, don't give up just yet. Speak to a relationship counsellor if necessary, and work to get things back on track. On the other hand, if the relationship has become toxic and you identified with what we said earlier, then it may be time to call it quits. These aren't easy decisions to make, but we hope you find the right answer if you are currently in this difficult position.
Let us know your thoughts on this difficult subject.
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Read these dating tips to help you get back into the world of dating in this informative contributed post.
Dating Doesn't Have To Be Scary
Dating is tough, and if you're just getting back into it after being in a long-term relationship, it can be seriously daunting and downright scary at times. Not only do you feel like you're supposed to have all this behind you, but you may still be struggling with being single after the realization of your relationship not working actually sets in.
Add to this all the new rules and trends in dating, plus the pressure that seems to be on people in the dating world, it can just all seem like too much and make you want to run and hide under your duvet.
However, with this post, we want to offer some reassurance that dating, although it may take some awkward encounters, it doesn't have to be so scary, and nowadays with so many options available for finding love, then it can actually be quite fun and can lead you on some amazing adventures with people who you'd never have imagined you'd meet - as with everything it's all about the mindset you approach it with.
So, to help you navigate the new dating world, we've offered up some hopefully useful tips that you can use on your search for love.
Get Clear About What You Want And Don't Want:
One of the biggest mistakes that people make with dating is that they approach it with no plan. They get on Google to find free gay chat lines or download the latest dating apps when feeling lonely, sad and frustrated with their lack of relationship, but they don't really take any time to sit back and consider what kind of relationship they'd like to have and what kind of person they'd like to meet. Making sure you do this will save you time and heartache down the road, but if you know what you're looking for and what you won't tolerate, then you're boosting your chances of finding a suitable match all the quicker.
Spend Time On Your Profiles:
One thing you'll find when you look on dating apps is that, although someone may look great, they've spent very little, or absolutely no time in creating their profile. Nowadays your profile is the first contact any potential suitors are going to have with you and if you want to have a date with someone, then make sure they don't just go after you for your looks, spend time on your profile and help them get to know a bit more about the real you.
Start A Conversation:
Again, a big problem with dating apps is the amount of people who just gather matches but don't reply to messages or even start a conversation. In order to increase your chances of finding love, you're going to have to put some effort into it and this involves actually talking to people.
Be Yourself:
It may sound awfully cliche, but a cliche is usually one because it's the truth. Yes, it's always good to put your best side forward on a first date and when getting to know someone, but this doesn't mean being fake. Be yourself if you want someone to like you for who you are.
