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How to talk to your teenager about sex, love and romance? Read more in this contributed post.
Parents everywhere know exactly what it means to dread their kids growing into teenagers. Firstly, they remember what it was like for them to be teenagers. They remember the angst, the insecurity and the desperate need to fit in with the crowd. They know that their teenagers have all this to come and today, it’s so different compared to a few years ago. The world has changed so much when it comes to sex and relationships and this is not a bad thing. More complicated, perhaps, but not a bad thing.
Same sex relationships two decades ago were not as openly spoken about compared to today. Romance and sex wasn’t splashed across social media for all to see. The ‘selfie’ in the smartphone era had not yet been invented for people to critique and roast online. Life and love and relationships are entirely different now. Asking a girl or boy to go out to the school disco is easy to discuss for some parents, whilst trying to advise on a chat with gay guys may be a little harder to do. It’s not ignorance; it’s just not the same as it was before. However, we now live in a time where parents are swotting up on how things work for teenagers today and not basing how they talk about sex, love and romance on wooing each other back in the Eighties. Times have changed, but talking about healthy relationships and self-respect hasn’t.
Same sex relationships two decades ago were not as openly spoken about compared to today. Romance and sex wasn’t splashed across social media for all to see. The ‘selfie’ in the smartphone era had not yet been invented for people to critique and roast online. Life and love and relationships are entirely different now. Asking a girl or boy to go out to the school disco is easy to discuss for some parents, whilst trying to advise on a chat with gay guys may be a little harder to do. It’s not ignorance; it’s just not the same as it was before. However, we now live in a time where parents are swotting up on how things work for teenagers today and not basing how they talk about sex, love and romance on wooing each other back in the Eighties. Times have changed, but talking about healthy relationships and self-respect hasn’t.
Teach Your Teenager What A Healthy Relationship Is Like.
Teenagers now are still full of angst and uncertainty and it’s important that they know that you are going to be open, non-judgemental and there for them when they need you. Broaching the subject? That’s not the easy part, because teenagers don’t want to talk about themselves directly. However, as a parent you can figure out their favourite series or film and discuss the dynamics of those relationships instead and talk about the red flags to watch for in terms of gaslighting and abuse, which are very much talked about today. Teenagers need to hear that they are worthy of themselves as they are, that they don’t need to be pressured into sex when they know that they can pace themselves until they are ready. They also need to hear that their feelings are valid and valued, and that those friends who don’t listen to those feelings aren’t friends to be worrying about.
Sex and love are both a normal part of life, and the more you broach this subject with your teenagers, the easier it will be to get it through to them that they are in charge of their own bodies and feelings. It’s okay to love whoever they want to love, have sex when they feel ready and not pushed - and SAFELY - and you will be there for them no matter what. Teenagers will make their mistakes: we all have, and as long as they know that you are going to be a shoulder to cry on, a non-judgemental ear to talk to and a safe haven, you can be confident that they will do their best to make good choices.
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Graduation Speech
10 Tips For Young Adults Starting Out In Life
The following is some Frank Advice that I would give a young adult starting out in life:
1. Start a Life Plan
Identify things like when you want to retire, places you want to live during the different stages in your life, factor in the health history of your bloodline relatives (if the last two generations of your family were forced into early retirement due to health issues then make sure your life plan takes that into account).
Your life plans will likely change over time, but you will still be moving forward, and it gives your life some direction
Your life plans will likely change over time, but you will still be moving forward, and it gives your life some direction
2. Do Something Worthwhile With Your Life
Fun is important, but fun is not ultimately fulfilling.
Focus on offering value to the world whether through the way you make a living or through your other efforts of making the world a better place.
Every person that I have ever coached that participated in scams for most of their life are blocked for forming real connections with other human beings and have an emptiness and loneliness that simply cannot be healed.
Focus on offering value to the world whether through the way you make a living or through your other efforts of making the world a better place.
Every person that I have ever coached that participated in scams for most of their life are blocked for forming real connections with other human beings and have an emptiness and loneliness that simply cannot be healed.
3. Make Understanding Money A Priority
Learn about the personality types required for the different ways to earn money.
The traits of a great employee may get in the way when becoming a great entrepreneur.
The traits of a great investor may get in the way of someone that seeks a career change into an independent contract self employed professional.
Knowing yourself in this regard is going to save you years of experimenting and poverty to figure it out.
The traits of a great employee may get in the way when becoming a great entrepreneur.
The traits of a great investor may get in the way of someone that seeks a career change into an independent contract self employed professional.
Knowing yourself in this regard is going to save you years of experimenting and poverty to figure it out.
4. Stay Out of Bad Debt
As much as possible, stay out of bad debt. Work to pay off everything in a timely fashion, and if you cannot afford it on cash, do not put it on credit.
Even school loans can be paid by reduced course loads and working part or full time to pay tuition as you study.
Live within your means, and be mindful of how interest in bad debt is designed to keep you in bad debt.
Even school loans can be paid by reduced course loads and working part or full time to pay tuition as you study.
Live within your means, and be mindful of how interest in bad debt is designed to keep you in bad debt.
5. Get the Necessary Education
Get the necessary education. No one has the obligation to teach you anything. Get a formal education if you want a career path that requires a license/degree/or association membership, and best get it while you are young.
No matter what anyone tells you, not everyone is able to go for education when older as we cannot predict what obstacles will be there.
A lack of health as you get older or increased family responsibilities as you move into the next stages of your life may simply not allow for the time or resources needed for an education.
If you cannot get a formal education for any reason, then educate yourself on your time, with your own research. Just because you weren’t able to go to college or university does not mean you stop your education. Pick a direction in life, and learn everything you can about it.
Also, there is little value going into 50K in debt for a career that pays minimum wage, that you can break into without a degree. Make sure the amount you invest to get the education can be easily paid back with what you earn.
No matter what anyone tells you, not everyone is able to go for education when older as we cannot predict what obstacles will be there.
A lack of health as you get older or increased family responsibilities as you move into the next stages of your life may simply not allow for the time or resources needed for an education.
If you cannot get a formal education for any reason, then educate yourself on your time, with your own research. Just because you weren’t able to go to college or university does not mean you stop your education. Pick a direction in life, and learn everything you can about it.
Also, there is little value going into 50K in debt for a career that pays minimum wage, that you can break into without a degree. Make sure the amount you invest to get the education can be easily paid back with what you earn.
6. In Love, Choose Wisely
Do not commit to the wrong person. When it comes to your love life, there are people that you just date for fun and there are people that can best support your future life plans that must earn your commitment.
If you get these two mixed up, you may lose everything. Everything you have ever earned, everything that gives you peace of mind, and even your very freedom.
If you get these two mixed up, you may lose everything. Everything you have ever earned, everything that gives you peace of mind, and even your very freedom.
How To Choose The Right Person
7. Take Care Of Your Health
You never know when being healthier makes things easier until you lose your health. Physical health, mental health and emotional health are all important.
If you need help in any of these areas, seek the help. Find a motivator, a therapist, a coach and make it part of your life plan.
If you need help in any of these areas, seek the help. Find a motivator, a therapist, a coach and make it part of your life plan.
8. Never Count On Being Saved By Others
Never be fully dependent on someone to save you. It is up to you to save yourself. It is great when you have people to count on, but your goal is to build up your life so that you aren't dependent on any one particular person or system.
This includes expecting your government to save you as well. The more you can be independent, the more you can fully enjoy the life you build without fear of anyone taking it away from you.
It is OK to ask for help when you need it, but it is not OK to ever assume that anyone is automatically your safety net if things do not work out.
This includes expecting your government to save you as well. The more you can be independent, the more you can fully enjoy the life you build without fear of anyone taking it away from you.
It is OK to ask for help when you need it, but it is not OK to ever assume that anyone is automatically your safety net if things do not work out.
9. Always Plan Long-Term
Consider things in terms of your best long-term interest. Today you may want to take revenge on someone who hurt you (short term) but is it worth jail time (long term)?
Today you may really want the cool entertainment system for the party this weekend (short term), but is it worth the risk that you do not have an emergency fund to pay the rent in the event you are too sick to work later in the year (long term)?
Today you may really want to travel over the holidays to another country to meet that potential new partner that you met online (short term), but is it worth the loss of prep time for the entrance exam for the next stage of your life (long term)?
Today you may really want the cool entertainment system for the party this weekend (short term), but is it worth the risk that you do not have an emergency fund to pay the rent in the event you are too sick to work later in the year (long term)?
Today you may really want to travel over the holidays to another country to meet that potential new partner that you met online (short term), but is it worth the loss of prep time for the entrance exam for the next stage of your life (long term)?
10. Never Act Cruel
I think above all else, this may be the most important. You do not have to be overly nice, but never be cruel.
Never say mean things just to hurt another person. Respect people’s rights to live in peace, tolerate their differences, and act as encouraging to others as you want them to be to you.
Never shame anyone because you think they could do better. You do not know their stories and struggles.
Never hate someone just because they are different.
Never make jokes at another person's expense and never be someone's bully.
Charisma is defined in my works as a person who leaves a positive impression of themselves while at the same time makes other people feel good about their selves too.
Never say mean things just to hurt another person. Respect people’s rights to live in peace, tolerate their differences, and act as encouraging to others as you want them to be to you.
Never shame anyone because you think they could do better. You do not know their stories and struggles.
Never hate someone just because they are different.
Never make jokes at another person's expense and never be someone's bully.
Charisma is defined in my works as a person who leaves a positive impression of themselves while at the same time makes other people feel good about their selves too.
Get Help To Get Your Life On Track
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What did your parents teach you about marriage?
What Did Your Parents Teach You About Marriage?
by Frank Kermit
I posted this on my social media and have to say that the majority of the responses were very negative.
Here are some examples:
"If I was to answer honestly, not many good things"
"My parents taught me that I should never get married"
"Nothing"
"Nothing good"
"That how they ran their marriage was no good"
At the time of publishing this post on the blog
there was only one possible response:
My parent's marriage taught me that it's important to be
trustworthy, honest and transparent with your partner
If you have parents that taught you how to have a great marriage,
it seems you may be among the lucky few.
If you come from parents
that were not able to teach you about marriage,
at least you learned from them what NOT to do
(which means you are halfway there).
I can teach you the other half.
Sign up for Coaching and let me take you through
My Emotional Needs Analysis system
so that you can have a GREAT MARRIAGE
and make your next serious relationship
divorce proof.
Emotional Needs Lessons
Couples Coach
#parents #parenting #gaydad #dad #parenthood #mother #children
#teach #tpt #iteach #teacherspayteachers #teacherlife #teachersfollowteachers #teaching #iteachtoo #classroom #learn #teacher #educate #education
#marriage #groom #instawedding #ceremony #weddingparty #weddingday #bride #weddingdress #bridesmaids #weddinggown #congrats #married
#romance #weddingcake #celebration #wife #husband #celebrate #congratulations #together #noiva #forever #forbetterorforworse #untildeathdouspart
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Challenging life experiences are highlighted in this contributed post.
You’d like to think that as we get older, things will get easier because we have the wisdom and experience of many years. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case, and there are a few things that are actually easier for younger people to get through than the older generation. Here are 4 of the hardest things you can experience later in life.
old age solutions
Injury
You’re probably aware that in your later years it will be harder to get over an injury because our bones, joints and skin are slower at healing than they used to be. Injuries not only affect us physically, but they can seriously affect us mentally. For example: if you were to have a car crash that you were able to walk away from in later life, it would affect you in the sense that you’d feel fragile for longer, and worried about venturing out into the world again. Whereas younger people are able to recover faster physically; therefore able to face their fears faster and not allow themselves to become secluded.
Divorce
A big part of your life that no one wants to experience, but unfortunately it happens to at least half of all American couples. Sometimes, divorce can happen much later in life when you both realise that you’re simply not in love anymore. Whether there is a bad and ugly break up or not, it’s still very emotionally draining to go through divorce mediation.
Younger people are more likely to bounce back from a divorce due to other commitments like work and children, so they are more distracted than say a 70 year old divorcee. Regardless of your age, make sure that you have as many loved ones around you as possible if you are going through a divorce.
Children
It’s not often heard of, but sometimes new couples where one or both of the partners is older can still conceive, regardless of whether they think they might have gone through menopause, or simply unable to have children anymore. Having a child at a later age can be a big strain on the relationship because of the worry of that child losing one or maybe even both of their parents early.
Having children is never a decision to be taken lightly, but younger people are often more accepting of the news, even if the child wasn’t planned.
Moving house
Moving house is also a massive deal for anyone. It’s completely uprooting your lives and it can be hard to come to terms with it, especially if you’re not keen on the move itself. Pensioners often find it difficult to leave their beloved homes as some of them have been living there their whole life. It can also be difficult if you’re moving to a retirement home.
Take these four things into consideration and make sure that if any of them happen to you, that you get the support you need to get through a difficult time.
You’re probably aware that in your later years it will be harder to get over an injury because our bones, joints and skin are slower at healing than they used to be. Injuries not only affect us physically, but they can seriously affect us mentally. For example: if you were to have a car crash that you were able to walk away from in later life, it would affect you in the sense that you’d feel fragile for longer, and worried about venturing out into the world again. Whereas younger people are able to recover faster physically; therefore able to face their fears faster and not allow themselves to become secluded.
Divorce
A big part of your life that no one wants to experience, but unfortunately it happens to at least half of all American couples. Sometimes, divorce can happen much later in life when you both realise that you’re simply not in love anymore. Whether there is a bad and ugly break up or not, it’s still very emotionally draining to go through divorce mediation.
Younger people are more likely to bounce back from a divorce due to other commitments like work and children, so they are more distracted than say a 70 year old divorcee. Regardless of your age, make sure that you have as many loved ones around you as possible if you are going through a divorce.
Children
It’s not often heard of, but sometimes new couples where one or both of the partners is older can still conceive, regardless of whether they think they might have gone through menopause, or simply unable to have children anymore. Having a child at a later age can be a big strain on the relationship because of the worry of that child losing one or maybe even both of their parents early.
Having children is never a decision to be taken lightly, but younger people are often more accepting of the news, even if the child wasn’t planned.
Moving house
Moving house is also a massive deal for anyone. It’s completely uprooting your lives and it can be hard to come to terms with it, especially if you’re not keen on the move itself. Pensioners often find it difficult to leave their beloved homes as some of them have been living there their whole life. It can also be difficult if you’re moving to a retirement home.
Take these four things into consideration and make sure that if any of them happen to you, that you get the support you need to get through a difficult time.
- Published on
Dear Franktalks blog readers.
This post was removed from the site at the end of May 2025.
The original author Karen Cross has requested that this article be removed from the Internet due to the amount of trolling she has been subjected too for the contents of this article.
Karen wrote the original article around 2013. In 2017 I reached out to Karen and asked for permission to repost the article. Karen granted me permission and that disclaimer was posted at the bottom of the article.
Franktalks wishes Karen peace and healing during this time,
and hopes that the trolling and online abuse will stop.
This post was removed from the site at the end of May 2025.
The original author Karen Cross has requested that this article be removed from the Internet due to the amount of trolling she has been subjected too for the contents of this article.
Karen wrote the original article around 2013. In 2017 I reached out to Karen and asked for permission to repost the article. Karen granted me permission and that disclaimer was posted at the bottom of the article.
Franktalks wishes Karen peace and healing during this time,
and hopes that the trolling and online abuse will stop.
Sign Up For Frank Coaching
Coaching Workbook For Her To Make The Most Of Her Time
donate now
- Published on
Happy Father's Day!
A Father's Day memory:
Got something in my eye...I was at the park with my son (he is 7). He tells me that he plans to do two things when he grows up, and then wants to become a parent. I told him he does not have to become a parent if he does not want to.
He says "hey, I am in charge of my own destiny!"
..then I asked him why he wants to one day become a parent,
and he says,"I want be like you"
....feeling a little choked up right now...
You are a great dad if you...
-Put your kids ahead of the rest of your extended family
-Show up to your kids weddings even if your wife did not want to attend
-Made an effort to be a better father to your own kids than your own father was to you
-built up your child's sense of independence and self esteem instead of using shame and guilt and dependence as a means of control
-ask your children about their life dreams and help guided them to turn them to goals
-supported your kids to reach full potential in ways that made kids feel good about themselves
-protected your children from those that would hurt your kids, even at the risk of your own social status in your community
-Taught your children the value of being treated well by others
-Did not involved your children into the adult fights you had with your spouse
-Who shows affection to your kids even if you still have to learn to be comfortable doing it
Happy Fathers Day if you are this kind of Dad!!
From the Coach who deals with clients that did not have this kind of dad.
-Frank Kermit
- Published on
*Disclaimer: the views of the author do not necessarily represent the views of Franktalks.com. It is important to present different views/mindsets, and that includes material that may be deemed controversial in nature.
5 Assumptions to Stop Making About Porn Stars and Sex Workers
Five General Assumptions About Porn Stars and Sex Workers
by Adhimu Stewart aka Malcolm Lovejoy
It's now the Springtime of 2017. Technology is at an all-time level of stupendous evolution. I was at OCAD - Ontario College of Art and Design two weeks ago, and I saw a man with a self-attached, metallic digital earpiece connected to the side his temple, and it extended into his ear like it was straight outta Star Trek: the Next Generation.
Google Earth can allow you to visually experience damn near anywhere on this planet from the comfort of your cozy chair in front of your computer. And Ocular Rift is genuinely brain-rearranging in its ability to transport us to unforeseen dimensions of inventive imaginative eye-popping experiences in life... and love and sex, of course!
As it is incalculable how important, nay, excruciatingly vital, the phenomenon of human sexuality has been in playing a primary, innovative, pioneering role in evolving virtually every aspect of human existence, from technology, family, finance, science, religion, justice to basic universal empathy;
sexuality is literally the lifeblood of reality.
You are here because two people had sex (unless you were born via in vitro fertilization,which also required two people's chemical interaction) and, sadly... the fact that two (or more) people simply chose to have some fun and have sex with each other STILL causes other people that ALSO are alive on earth because two other people had sex with each other, to get all messed-up in their morals and perspectives on others living a simple human life!
Let us learn how to stop the proverbial madness, once and for all.
The degree of decorum-destroying general disrespect that is unleashed ad nausea across the world by generations of less-than-enlightened individuals that completely forget some of the BASIC fundamental principals of a democratic society, and fail to maturely maintain that in a free and civilized nation, democracy and freedom applies to individual sexual philosophical selection as well.
This dangerous daily disrespect cannot be quantified enough.
And whether heard or unheard, unleashed violently or emotionally,
EVERY SINGLE ACT of denial and dishonor to human sexual freedom is downright wrong,
no matter how many likes some anti-woman sex-shaming meme gets liked or spread endlessly around the internet, nor how many people privately mutter some slanderous dirt about Belle Knox, Ciara & her new husband, Lindsay Lohan's list of lovers, Rihanna's badgyal image, Kirsten Stewart's infidelity to Robert Pattinson, the Brangelina/Jennifer Aniston thing, or Amber Rose's Slutwalk Initiative (or the original SlutWalk in Toronto, among other acts of resistance).
Between completely conscious, collaborative, consenting individuals, whether they are both 21 years old, or 42 years old (if not 82, I'm no ageist and I plan to be having sex until my last day on earth), there has NEVER been an act of safe, sacred and satisfying sexual connection that is worth the apocalyptic religious judgement, negative public stigma, familial shame and/or other detrimental damage done to anyone that has been "caught" enjoying their right to be a human being intimate with other human beings that seek to temporarily bask in the eternal bliss found in a hug, a kiss or any other form of connection we can courageously reach out for in this semi-selfish, harsh, hypocritical, cold world.
And thus far, I've mostly been focusing on people who DON'T have sex for money or on a professional basis of value-oriented economic exchange, just the illogical issues too many powerful and supposedly educated people still have about basic, simple sex!
Because honestly: regardless of the countless advances in technology we have accomplished as human beings collectively, sex is generally STILL struggling a very barely-evolved phenomenon across the modern world.
With men, women and people all being taught, manipulated, exploited, controlled, lied to, sold to, and screamed to by forces as big and influential as international organized religion, various educational institutions, the completely inconsistent and contradictory legal system, the partisan confusion preached by various levels of government, the increasingly unknown intentions of modern scientists... and you're supposed to somehow try and have a lifetime of fun with your genitalia and friends in an earthly environment THIS insane?
Good luck!!
I have no idea in the world about what acceptable areas and boundaries of intimacy we are supposed to have any unlimited fun within (much less make any money or exercise any constitutional liberty), facing as many internal and external obstacles as we collectively suffer with now.
And, with all that frustrated foreplay having been gushed out: one way I have realized I can constantly keep expanding the fun I feel is:
TO KNOW THE TRUTH,
and keep it as close as possible to the foundation of your feelings, thoughts and actions during every day of your literal life.
And from this vantage point of life understanding, I'd like to begin this article:
FIVE ASSUMPTIONS TO STOP MAKING
ABOUT PORN STARS AND SEX WORKERS IN 2017.
Some of these are new, some of them are not, but they are all still relevant and matter to me, my friends, my co-workers, my heroes, my heroines, my idols and my entire future.
Let's begin unlearning and relearning some things, shall we?
Assumption 1
That a porn star is the same wild person off-camera that they are on-camera, or a sex worker is always horny, and thus should always be sexually available.
There is very little difference between any actor, musician, porn star, or entertainer in Show Business. On a certain level, at the end of the day:
THEY ARE SIMPLY NOT THE SAME PERSON AT HOME AS THEY ARE AT WORK!
There may be some existential aspects or personality traits of their professional life that make an appearance in their private life, but for the most part, the reality is: what you are witnessing on screen and falling in love with IS A PERFORMER GIVING A PERFORMANCE, not necessarily the actual person you dream they are.
Maybe one of the best, and original examples of such moonlighting is:
Marilyn Monroe isn't actually named 'Marilyn Monroe'.
Her birth name was Norma Jean Mortenson, and, unsurprisingly, she was also not nearly as dumb as she acted on screen, fighting with studio executives and going head-to-head with the President, before her rather suspicious death.
I'm sure a lot of men and women get aroused by the idea that the actor/actress/acting person they're starstruck over is the witty writer and/or clever creator of the scintillating dialogue magically dripping off their lips and enchanting you eternally, or that they are the owner of all the clothes you love to see them dazzle you in, or that there's no embellishment, exaggeration or outside influence upon by the director or producer upon the final version of the image of the person you are dreaming to wake up beside.
But in porn, it's the same as Hollywood: times five.
Or more like times 69!
I know so many porn stars that have sex like wildebeests on MDMA and tasmanian devils on bath salts, but the moment it's time to stop having sex and start breathing and speaking like a normal muggle again, they simply devote their daytime energy to things like animal rights activism, promoting fitness/exercise culture, fighting for civil rights & justice, whether for reproductive freedom or for LGBTQ+ empowerment, if not some other body autonomy issue worth protesting and shouting at the devil over... or they are just a regular person that is cool with showing themselves have sex for money!
Sure, the world of porn can be a quite a life-consuming occupation for many participants, but it doesn't have to necessarily eclipse a porn star's entire reality when they are not getting sweaty and sexy for the camera.
There are married porn stars that have families and husbands/wives outside the industry that they go home to when they are off the clock.
There are porn stars that only do specific acts for money on camera, and may not EVER show their genitals, or other private parts of their body to the world.
Some BDSM practitioners might be known to paddle and flog in a particular signature skin-tight latex/leather outfit, but is on some Mariah Carey/Catholic Nun-level chastity as far as NEVER ONCE having their nipples, genitals or even bare skin be exposed to the world for all ogling eyes to see.
Not every day on the job requires actual penetrative sex, and thank goodness, because one's sex drive isn't a consistent faucet with the same expressive pressure every day.
Bonnie Rotten might actually be as aggressive in her personal interactions in business as she is in her personal interactions in porn... but that doesn't mean she's spitting down throats and begging for prolapsed gapings in the middle of her lasagna dinner at Olive Garden.
Yes, as a porn star, I might have had my work life bleed into my non-work life a bit, and I might occasionally be out at some historic nature monument, looking around like
"I wonder if we can have sex/shoot porn here?"
Yes, that does happen sometimes, ha. But I'm not always scouting women to have sex with, and I'm not always trying to have sex with the women I am attracted to, even if they know I do porn and want to have sex with them!
Porn stars like non-porn movies too!
Heck, Ron Jeremy is a classically-trained piano teacher, Lexington Steele is a university-educated, former Wall Street stock broker, and Nina Hartley is a registered nurse.
Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy, as much as people want to downplay him as if his impressive genitals were all he had to offer this world, is a certified schoolteacher, and was teaching children on the autism spectrum before it was even diagnosed as such.
And sure, not all porn stars might be bookish introverts before they remove their khakis and Oxford blazer,
but that doesn't justify denying any porn star the possibility of being a multi-faceted individual capable of any and all the other attributes we ascribe to erotic actors.
Finally, even if they are like Asa Akira, and absolutely LOVE being hypersexual as much as possible, what's wrong with that?
Nobody shames LeBron James for being obsessed with playing basketball, and if they did, how foolish would they look?
About as foolish as anyone shaming any other grown adult for doing exactly what they want with their freedom in life on any given day.
Assumption 2
That porn stars and sex workers are unclean, physically
or morally, and that it's smarter to stay away from touching them, if you find out you have met one.
Optimism and evolution would have most socially-conscious individuals hoping this ignorantly-immature sexual criticism would not remain such a prevalent issue in modern society, what with things like the infinitely-overloaded resource of information known as Internet at virtually everyone on earth's disposal.
But, nope!
We're still living in times not far removed from the 70's, 80's and the AIDS epidemic, when people were saying stupid shit like "Don't share toilet seats with gay people!" or "You can catch HIV from mosquitoes, or drinking from the same cup."
These were some of the ignorant ideas about sexuality that were perpetuated by the masses (not that the government and the education system didn't also do their share of mis-education and avoidance of addressing the facts), and honestly, it's unbelievable how little we have progressed collectively as a society, and as a world.
What with Earvin 'Magic' Johnson still alive and well after diagnosing his HIV status in 1991 and having a famous gender-queer son, as well as new HIV-management treatments such as PrEP,
I'm surprised that more people aren't opening their minds even a tiny bit, to the possibility of STI's, STD's and/or even manageable or terminal diseases not being the scarlet letter for pariahs awaiting eternal existential exodus.
And whether it's HIV, chlamydia, warts, hepatitis, or herpes, the unassailable, unwavering, unbelievably true fact is: the regular civilian that is slut-shaming and slandering any porn stars for being "sexually unclean" has a MUCH HIGHER POSSIBILITY OF TRANSMITTING AN STI than any professional porn star operating at a consistent basis in the adult entertainment industry.
The assumption people have about porn star is silly.
For every story of a Cameron Bay contracting HIV or a Mr. Marcus spreading syphilis shutdown, there's literally ~millions~ of videos of porn stars exchanging nothing but healthy consensual human sexual energy, plus some saliva and semen and other funky fun fluids between each other, then getting their compensation and calling it a good day's work.
The additional truth that the vast majority of porn stars get tested every 14-28 days for most, if not all, STI's to be legally and professionally invited to shoot, in contrast to the general understanding that the average man or woman found at your local bar/dance club/social gathering on a Friday or Saturday night is considered to get tested for STI's approximately once or twice a YEAR, as well as has NO discernible evidence, video or otherwise, that proves they have not had unprotected sex with others since the last (or first) time we chose to become intimate, puts the whole truth into perspective for me.
It's a different level of interaction between men and men in porn and in the gay community, but this is not to reinforce the stereotype that porn stars spread diseases because of their work.
But that doesn't mean I think I'm going to catch gonorrhea when I go to use the washroom at the Black Eagle Bar on Church St.!)
Yet, I digress.
The bottom line is:
MANY people still think porn stars and sex workers are physically and morally unclean than the rest of the population, including a few doctors at the walk-in clinic I go to that offer little more than a judgmental cold shoulder and the lowest level of customer service possible the moment after I reveal my sex worker status, while seeking testing or other related information.
It's probably one of the most knee-jerk, automatic cliches to say about human beings in general: the assumption that people that do sex or porn are dirty, just like assuming something ignorant like "fat people eat like pigs", not considering metabolism, genetics, health conditions, body diversity, or any other reason why it's foolish to assume bigger bodied people are different than any one else.
Or deserve any less respect than you or I.
So, yes.
EVERY single porn star you look at online is NOT a dirty person, physically, morally, economically, or socially.
I always say: Porn is messy, not dirty.
Real Pornography is the professional creation of healthy, clean, safe, visible sexual delight between happily consenting individuals that are erotically empowered and engaged.
Fact: every single Thursday, Friday and Saturday night of the year: there are two people who drunkenly connected with each other at some neighborhood bar, and let the rush of lust consume and compel them to find the first available room/bathroom stall, and get busy... and they didn't stop to ask for consent for barely anything, conducted rather high risk sex possibly without protection, maybe didn't even tell each other their real names, and didn't have any intention on ever seeing them again, yet lied about that desire for short term fun...
...and its people like THIS that want to slander porn stars and disrespect sex workers as morally and/or sexually unclean?
The hypocrisy would be laughable, if it wasn't so widespread, malicious and baseless... on top of being foolish beyond comprehension.
Assumption 3.
Porn stars & sex workers don't value themselves and/or were abused, so that's why they are doing sex work, and their families must be ashamed of them.
To deny the autonomous choice of hundreds of thousands of grown adults all over the age of 18 that all must sign 2257 legal documentation, plus show two pieces of government I.D., as well as doctor's-approved clean STI testing, is, as I said, downright ridiculous beyond articulation.
The judgmental stigmatization around sexuality is slowly, painfully, creatively and controversially being eradicated on a variety of levels in North America and other forward-thinking societies, from the steamy plots of new age TV shows like 'The Sopranos', 'The L Word', 'Californication', 'Masters of Sex', 'True Blood', 'Game of Thrones', 'Queer as Folk' and back to 'Sex and the City', which all have done impressive work in helping normalize sex, nudity and sexuality to the masses on levels of awareness unknown and rarely explored in the 80's or 90's.
Also through rare and various Hollywood movies like 'Boogie Nights', 'When Harry Met Sally', 'Secretary', 'Poetic Justice', 'Love Jones', 'The Notebook', 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back', 'Love and Basketball', '50 Shades of Grey' (ugh) and some imported gems like 'Blue is the Warmest Color', 'Nymphomaniac', 'Y Tu Mama Tambien' and 'Love', amongst many others, modern cinema has opened the average person's mind in general, to nontraditional types of love, new age relationships and sex itself not being the one-way ticket to some supposed burning lake of fire...
...which, strangely, is the fundamental reason WHY every single one of us has manifest a destiny on the planet earth: because. our. parents. were. having. sex!
I say all this to say: do you think the actors and actresses parents feel like those actors and actresses don't value themselves? Does Scarlett Johannsen not value herself because she does a movie like 'Under the Skin'? Does Halle Berry not value herself because she did a sex scene like the one with Billy Bob Thornton in 'Monster's Ball'? How about Monica Belluci, and her shockingly realistic rape scene in 'Irreversible', does her doing that scene mean she hates herself and wants to abuse herself, like any other porn star or sex worker that gets paid to act out a hardcore scene?
Where does the line start or stop?
Well, there actually is no line between any genre, except for the one in anyone's mind.
To think that actors aren't also whores or that whores aren't also actors, is to completely misunderstand showbiz, the entertainment industry, and sexuality itself.
The adage "sluts give it away, whores get paid for it" is a gross exaggeration of the basic sexual contract in North American society, but...it's kinda true.
And I don't judge either one for getting pleasure, or getting paid for pleasure!
I humbly suggest you do the same.
And honestly, whether or not their families and friends are ashamed of them:
as long as they are being safe and consensual, who gives a darn what anyone else thinks?
Unless girls are being coerced and manipulated into porn, which does happen sadly, I won't deny (but doesn't the National Army, the fashion industry & professional sports industry all recruit naive, young people under semi-suspicious circumstances as well?) then opinions are like sphincters without enough lube: something that should stay closed tight.
I will confess personally, it's pretty helpful to have my mother actually supportive of my porn career as well as my nude modeling, but my biological father isn't supportive at all, yet: I couldn't care less about his opinion!
I will sleep wonderful at night knowing that I have a marvelous scene planned tomorrow with a divinely sacred person, where the BDSM, aggressive kink and dominant scenes we have planned are well within our boundaries as responsible adults playing sexy games with each other.
I wasn't abused as a child, I love myself beyond measure, my family knows all about my porn career, and supports me doing safe sex work for as long as I want to.
Which is:
for the rest of my natural born life, thank you very much, and you're welcome!
Assumption 4.
That you are not, and never have been, in any way connected to anyone in the sex industry, and that you
"don't associate with people like that"
Reality check: considering how many women and other people are silent about their (possibly temporary) careers in the sex industry, or simply have a second life they don't reveal, I would gamble on the unknown statistics being somewhere around maybe 2 or 3 out of 10 men going their whole sexual life NOT ever having any kind of sexual or intimate engagement with a person that had some sort of sex work/porn employment in their own life.
The amount of girls that were strippers to get through college, or did some camgirl work on the side, or was a prostitute temporarily (and maybe still is occasionally), or did some nude modeling for a source of income while going to university, amongst countless other possibilities, cannot be quantified.
Nor judged.
Just happily assume that one of your best fantasies in your life might have occurred because they were a professional, and you just happened to get lucky somehow...
Assumption 5.
That sex work or pornography can be eradicated by government legislation, or that pornography can be controlled by religious doctrine and moral decree.
As the timeless saying goes: "Prostitution is the world's oldest profession". In 2017, it's absolutely, probably, and truly finally about time people grow up and accept it's not going anywhere.
At all!
Accept this instead: some people want to expose themselves to the incomprehensibly vast diversity of activity in the world, while others just don't have the same level of ambition.
Neither one is right or wrong for wanting what (and who) they want to do.
Some people want to deep sea dive with underwater lifeforms off the shores of Madagascar, others don't.
Some people want to jump out of airplanes and skydive then parachute, some don't.
Some people want to fix cars, some don't.
Some people want to cook gourmet meals in expensive restaurants with exotic ingredients, some don't.
Some people want to research the newest advances in microbiology in a clinical laboratory, some don't.
Some people want to kiss, lick, suck, and have sex with other people to their heart's content, some people don't.
Life is better when you can balance yourself in the midst of such divergent possibilities of playful personal adventure on earth, and find what works for you without needing to impose your values and desires on anyone else's values and desires, whether it's your family, your friends, enemies or strangers... and probably most importantly, your lovers and sex partners in life!
Negotiation and balance becomes different.
Conversation, compromise and communication becomes different.
Controlling others choices is never cool, unless you're protecting your own child, and even at a certain point, that becomes corrupting.
Caring about someone being safe while they go make their wildest dreams come true is way more cool.
And the President, the Prime Minister and the Pope have sexual standards that you need NOT emulate, unless you want to be one of them, or work in those career paths.
Follow your own codes, beliefs & laws, as you follow your own heart towards your purpose and pleasure in life and love.
Taking a journey like that, while not making any of these assumptions
about any of the sex workers and porn stars you enjoy seeing publicly or
even indulging in these days, will usher you to a wonderful level of
empathy, compassion and understanding of both business and pleasure on the
professional level, as well as just respecting humanity properly.
Begin removing these archaic ignorant notions amongst & about others, and
THEN you can safely make the assumption that you're part of the solutions
in sex, not part of the problems stopping the potential of you producing as
many wonderful memories as possible in your own spectacular love and sex
life. A beautiful love & sex life is truly paradise.
Sincerely yours,
Adhimu Stewart aka Malcolm Lovejoy,
Professional Love Maker
About the Author
Malcolm Lovejoy (musician/journalist/activist/porn star/sex educator/human being) is the porn star of the future. A renaissance man like no other in adult entertainment, he is a romantic enthusiast on levels that would make Casanova proud. His feminist-focused approach to all things pornographic pushes his work into a category unlike most men in porn, as Malcolm's passion for providing multi-orgasmic satisfaction for his partners before spending time trying to give a money shot, his unparalleled oral skills, tender touch and ultra-athletic action-packed sex style makes Malcolm's porn a beautiful vision to behold for everyone lucky enough to see it! And in his first 2 years of filming, he has explored a wide variety of adult content, from heterosexual pleasure, to bondage & submissive play, female ejaculation scenes, solo masturbation, transgender scenes, sci-fi sex, pornographic music videos, and so much more. With over 50 scenes filmed thus far, and more on the way, his plans for 2017 and beyond are nothing but bring more of Malcolm Lovejoy's boundless beauty and sacred sexuality to the world for all people to be endlessly educated and entertained by...
If you want to know more, just ask me!
Email: mindbendersupreme@gmail.com
Twitter: mindbendermind
Facebook: Dr. Malcolm Jackson Lovejoy
Past Articles From Malcolm:
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/5-tips-for-women-for-dating-a-male-porn-star
Malcolm Lovejoy (musician/journalist/activist/porn star/sex educator/human being) is the porn star of the future. A renaissance man like no other in adult entertainment, he is a romantic enthusiast on levels that would make Casanova proud. His feminist-focused approach to all things pornographic pushes his work into a category unlike most men in porn, as Malcolm's passion for providing multi-orgasmic satisfaction for his partners before spending time trying to give a money shot, his unparalleled oral skills, tender touch and ultra-athletic action-packed sex style makes Malcolm's porn a beautiful vision to behold for everyone lucky enough to see it! And in his first 2 years of filming, he has explored a wide variety of adult content, from heterosexual pleasure, to bondage & submissive play, female ejaculation scenes, solo masturbation, transgender scenes, sci-fi sex, pornographic music videos, and so much more. With over 50 scenes filmed thus far, and more on the way, his plans for 2017 and beyond are nothing but bring more of Malcolm Lovejoy's boundless beauty and sacred sexuality to the world for all people to be endlessly educated and entertained by...
If you want to know more, just ask me!
Email: mindbendersupreme@gmail.com
Twitter: mindbendermind
Facebook: Dr. Malcolm Jackson Lovejoy
Past Articles From Malcolm:
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/5-tips-for-women-for-dating-a-male-porn-star
- Published on
The Jackson 5 Five Were My Brothers
The Jackson 5 Were My Brothers
by Nat King Pole
So the Jackson 5 are my brothers and we just sing and dance all day. Well at least in my mind they were from age 6 to well... now at 55 lol.
I was raised an only child in a small town of 200 on the border of Ontario. Everybody was very white and spoke English or French.
The Jackson 5 Were My Brothers
by Nat King Pole
So the Jackson 5 are my brothers and we just sing and dance all day. Well at least in my mind they were from age 6 to well... now at 55 lol.
I was raised an only child in a small town of 200 on the border of Ontario. Everybody was very white and spoke English or French.
One day I heard a Jackson song on the radio and up until then I'd only heard country music as my mom was a country music artist. I was hooked and asked my mom who that was and could she buy me that record.
I was 6 years old and I was hooked.
From that day on it was all about the Jacksons followed by Motown and Martin Luther king and African American history.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let's see how can I explain this?
I knew from as far back as I can remember that I was different although I didn't know there was a name for it which was lesbian and I also instinctively knew it was something that was not acceptable to be in mainstream society.
Now the Jacksons became my héros just because I loved the music and the dancing but as I got older I learned that they were also part of a group of people that were not loved and accepted just like me.
After seeing a movie about Martin Luther king's life, he became my hero and in my child's mind I thought
"this guy is gonna save me, us, all the people that are not treated equally and loved and accepted".
Martin Luther King Jr.
When I learned he was shot I was devastated as I figured we were doomed to be hated forever.
But black people understood oppression and therefore would understand who I was and accept me.
I had found my people! Ok I'm about 8 yrs old at this point.
I didn't quite get all the subtilités of prejudice.
So I spent my days listening to Jackson records and watching black sitcoms and living in my mind with my black friends.
The kids in the neighborhood thought I was weird, didn't even know who the Jacksons were, and really weren't interested in learning dances.
I wanted an Afro I wanted everything they wore, I never missed them on TV and just bought everything I could get my hands on that I could with my 50 cent a week allowance.
The one and only time I'd ever dare disobey my parents is if it had to do with the Jacksons.
Now this was pre VCR or anything else so if they were on TV past my bedtime I was screwed. So I'd stay awake and creep downstairs and turn on the TV with no sound on and stick my face on it till it was over.
Now this was pre VCR or anything else so if they were on TV past my bedtime I was screwed. So I'd stay awake and creep downstairs and turn on the TV with no sound on and stick my face on it till it was over.
Then I'd spend hours trying to copy what I'd seen. I knew every lyric and move by heart. Man, I was the 6th brother.
Now all this put me in the loner weird nerd kid category until secondary five (Grade 11) when it happened.
A talent contest. That weird nerdy kid is actually trying out.
This should be hilarious they thought.
Well no one knew what I'd been up to all these years.
My folks were there with my grandparents and I came on stage in the school auditorium that was packed to the rafters. When I heard the first notes of my brothers I just became someone else and danced my heart out and the place erupted!
Everyone was standing and going crazy!
My parents and grandparents were crying and I won and my whole life changed dramatically that day.
Since then I've seen the Jacksons a total of 3 times live and am going for four this June.
Nat King Pole and The Jacksons
But last year I actually got to meet them for about a minute and take a picture with them. I thanked them for taking the time to meet the fans after a show as they surely must be tired.
And I said I'd dreamed of this meeting for almost 40 years. I only wish I could've conveyed what they truly meant to me.
And I said I'd dreamed of this meeting for almost 40 years. I only wish I could've conveyed what they truly meant to me.
Today I'm still performing
and it's what gives me the most joy in life.
That's when I can be who I really am
and it's just as magical as it was
when I was in my parent's place
just me and my imaginary brothers
-Nat King Pole
About the Author
Nat king Pole is Montreal's busiest drag King and has been for 15 years. As well as performing regularly In his hometown he's been making ladies swoon in Toronto, Quebec city, Ottawa and in Philadelphia, Boston, Provincetown Etc. He sings Live, writes his own parodies, dances and is just plain sexy. They call him the panty whisperer. His website is: http://natkingpole.com/
To read Nat's past post:
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/profile-of-a-drag-king
- Published on
Help Monique Find Her Birth Family
Updated on March 1, 2018. Please note that Monique has in fact located her birth family and met them. This post caught the eye of someone on a Facebook group (Search Squad), and we put Monique in touch with the Facebook group that helped her with her search. In less than 1 year, Monique met her birth siblings and birth mother.
Help Monique Find Her Birth Family
If you recognize anyone from the photos, or from the information,
Please directly contact Monique at (705) 471-6684
or you have more information to offer anonymously
Please contact the site admin: Frank@franktalks.com
Birth Name: Marie Isabelle Judith
Name Adoption: Marie Carole Therese Monique Gaudreau
Place of Birth: Hull, Quebec
Date of Birth: October 16, 1965
Orphanage: Ville-Joie Ste-Therese de Hull.
Date of Adoption: (cir 16 Months old) January 31, 1967
Other Registered Information:
Place of Baptism: Notre-Dame de Graces, Hull, Quebec
Date of Baptism: November 9, 1965
Monique as a child
This is Monique cir. 1967 shortly after her adoption. In the photos are her two brothers (both of whom were also adopted).
Do you recognize any of these children in the photos?
Do you know Monique's birth family, who may have shared information with you that resembles what you are reading here?
Please reach out to us and help Monique find some contact with her birth family and/or find some closure.
Information of Biological Family on File:
Bio-Mom: (born cir. 1932) was 33 at the time of birth of Monique. Caucasian French-Canadian, spoke French, Catholic, unmarried, living in the Outaouais region of Quebec. She was about 5’3”, weighed about 108 lbs, with brown hair, brown eyes, and listed as having a fair complexion. Her education level was 7th grade and her occupation was a Waitress.
Bio-Dad: (born cir. 1929) was 36 at the time of birth of Monique. Caucasian French-Canadian, spoke French, Catholic living in the Outaouais region of Quebec. He was about 5’9”, weighed about 180 lbs, with black hair, black eyes and listed as having a fair complexion. His education level was 5th grade, and his occupation was a Truck Driver.
Maternal Grandparents:
M-GrandFather died at the age of 50 from a heart attack
M-GrandMother (born cir. 1910) was age 55 and her health was listed as good at the time birth of Monique. M-Grandmother was a homemaker. M-Grandmother had 4 sisters (all listed as married and homemakers) and one brother (M-Uncle). M-Uncle (born cir. 1951) was age 14 at the time of birth of Monique and was a student at the time.
The family was listed as living in a poor social and economic situation.
Paternal Grandparents:
In 1965, both paternal grandparents were listed as living and in good health.
**** Disclaimer: Much of the information above is from the C.P.E.J. Outaouais
Letters To Her Biological Parents From Monique
A Letter From Monique To Her Biological Mother
Dear Mom,
Being Adopted is emotional life sentence, not knowing your identity. most Adoptees have so much love and sensitivity. We have been through depression, anxiety, Just because two people have never met, does not mean that love between the two don't exist.
What ever was the circumstance , many of us Adoptees have forgiven, but not forgotten our loss.
I personally want to say these words to a women that gave birth to me..
You are awesome... I forgive you... You had tremendous strength for giving me away.... I am so sorry that you had suffered in silence... You deserve to be recognized as my mother, even though you did not raise me, you brought me into this world, and gave me to a total stranger , in hope that I could receive what you felt you would be unable to provide for me.
No one has ever thanked you, for your unselfish love.
No one was there to guide you through after your hardest decision.
I want to thank you personally for making me strong , and by doing what you did.
The love I have for you, YES YOU! It is so strong.
I Pray that in your heart you will feel at peace with yourself, and remember no one has the right to judge you...Not even me. If you have passed on, please give me the opportunity to place a rose at you resting place, and await till we meet again someday.
From your biological daughter to my biological mother...I never knew. I love you!!
-Monique
A Letter From Monique To Her Biological Father
Dear Dad,
To my Biological father I never knew.
I am not here to judge you! I only want to say. I understand... I have no hate....
You played a very important part in my existence... I feel the need to tell you, I always had love for you in my heart .
Whatever the circumstances that lead me to be given away, I have no hate, for I myself have learned so many things in my lifetime, and failed.
I know that my place is not to judge, and I promise I won't !!!!
I am willing to receive you with open arms, please do not let your mind and heart feel troubled, but know I am here for you.
If you should have passed on, please I pray that you might of shared your deepest secrets to someone that could reconnect with me.
My promise to you if you were taken to be among the Angels, is to place a rose at at your resting place, in remembrance and respect for you, for accepting the many challenges that this may have caused you in your lifetime.
Being human is one of the hardest things at times, and this I truly believe.
With Love from your biological daughter you never knew,
to a biological father I pray to meet one day.
-Monique
*****
About Monique
About Monique
About Monique:
Monique is married and currently resides
in the city of North Bay, Ontario.
*************************************
If you recognize anyone from the photos, or from the information,
Please directly contact Monique at (705) 471-6684
or you have more information to offer anonymously
Please contact the site admin: Frank@franktalks.com
About Monique:
Monique is married and currently resides
in the city of North Bay, Ontario.
*************************************
If you recognize anyone from the photos, or from the information,
Please directly contact Monique at (705) 471-6684
or you have more information to offer anonymously
Please contact the site admin: Frank@franktalks.com
- Published on
Learning To Make The Choices You Can Live With
Your Choices Today Become The Past
You Have To Share Tomorrow
By Frank Kermit
Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships.
The best example of this is the young adults who are swayed to enter into the world of the sex trade.
These 18-23 year olds are convinced that what they do today just to make enough money to get by will not be something that affects their futures.
Sometimes it is people within the industries that try to convince potential porn stars and exotic dancers how no one will ever recognize their faces in the future.
Sometimes it is the young adults themselves who rationalize that since they do not have any aspirations to form a public career that the chances of this being used against them are nil.
However, that is simply not the case.
Stories of former porn stars losing their jobs as high school teachers are real.
When their past catches up with them in the hands of underage students who have passed around sex videos of the teacher through their phones, there is very little a teacher can do.
Even when the former porn stars in question are ready to handle the ordeal of having every one of those students knowing such intimate images of the teacher, it may not matter.
The school administration and sometimes the parents of the students as well, may demand that the teacher be fired anyway.
Stories of former exotic dancers or escort service providers, running into past clients at boardroom meetings are real.
Does it matter that a university student put themselves through school with sex trade work and independently earned that entry-level executive position?
To some it may not matter at all.
To others, it could matter a great deal,
and enough so that it could be an obstacle on a personal career path.
The best advice anyone can give to a young adult is to remind him or her that even if they have no interest in a career that could be affect by their choices today, or even if they do not plan to be parents, over the course of a lifetime, things can change very dramatically.
No one can predict exactly how things are going to change and turn out.
As a young adult, you may not really care about the consequences of your actions…but the older adult you become may feel differently about it.
With all that said, I want to be fair
...and state that there actually are a number of sex trade workers that are more than happy doing what they are doing, do so proudly and are willing to admit it and accept the fact that this part of their lives will follow them forever.
Those who have the best grasp of this are those that fully accept the consequences of their past (and possible present) career choices.
That means that they acknowledge the good elements (the hours, the pay) and are forthright about the bad elements (bad clients, discrimination, possible unsafe working conditions).
An insider on the porno industry once told me that many of the flight-by-night starlets that disappear after a handful of appearances end up living very normal quiet lives as married soccer moms.
They also live with the fear that someone who knows them may find their obscure videos, recognize them, and threaten their new life with it.
If you have a past that might threaten your future, the best things you can do about it is be honest with your future long-term partner and check out if they also can accept it, and handle the potential consequences.
If you are getting into a serious relationship with someone, to the point where you are thinking about getting married, then you must consider putting your fiancé through the ultimate test before he or she becomes your spouse.
Think of your deepest, darkest, most horrible thing that you did in your past that you make it a point not to tell anyone.
If you think that sharing that experience would cause your fiancé not to marry you then you have a choice.
Take the chance and tell them anyway knowing you might lose your relationship, or do not get married and end the relationship altogether.
The truth about all our pasts has a funny way of surfacing, and at the worst possible times.
At some point it is very likely that your future spouse is going to be made aware of elements from your past.
The best thing you can do is prepare your spouse-to-be with whatever it is that someone might try to use against you and your family.
It is better your future spouse hears it from you before it becomes an issue that could threaten your future children.
Whether it is bullies in the schoolyard that taunt your kids with proof of your past, or extortionists who would seek to blackmail you by threatening to reveal your scary secret,
being honest with your soon-to-be spouse is the best way to build a foundation for a relationship that will withstand any outside force that attempts to destroy you.
Frank Kermit
*****************
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree?
Have something to Add?
Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.
P.S. Do you Agree With This Article? Disagree?
Have something to Add?
Write your thoughts in the comments below and share this article to see how many of your friends think like you.
Coaching To Learn To Make The Choices You Can Live With
