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Dear Franktalks blog readers.
This post was removed from the site at the end of May 2025.
The original author Karen Cross has requested that this article be removed from the Internet due to the amount of trolling she has been subjected too for the contents of this article.
Karen wrote the original article around 2013. In 2017 I reached out to Karen and asked for permission to repost the article. Karen granted me permission and that disclaimer was posted at the bottom of the article.
Franktalks wishes Karen peace and healing during this time,
and hopes that the trolling and online abuse will stop.
This post was removed from the site at the end of May 2025.
The original author Karen Cross has requested that this article be removed from the Internet due to the amount of trolling she has been subjected too for the contents of this article.
Karen wrote the original article around 2013. In 2017 I reached out to Karen and asked for permission to repost the article. Karen granted me permission and that disclaimer was posted at the bottom of the article.
Franktalks wishes Karen peace and healing during this time,
and hopes that the trolling and online abuse will stop.
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To Belly Dance or Not To Belly Dance
To Belly Dance Or Not To Belly Dance
Written by: Pillow Talk Gal
Updated February 28, 2018
When I was asked if I wanted to take part in a belly dancing class and write an article about it, I was really excited. Then, the more I thought about it the more I began to worry a little. I have never really attended any kind of dance class (if you don’t count when I was little) so belly dancing seemed like a bit of a leap. I have to admit though; I was curious and nervous at the same time.
The day of my first class had finally arrived and my excitement/curiosity had made me almost an hour early. At least parking was a breeze (I found a spot literally in front of the building). I had some extra time to kill, so I decided to sit in the park right across from the dance studio. Despite the honking of cars and bustle of the city, it was very relaxing and helped to calm my nerves a little bit.
Then, before I knew it, it was time to meet the group and start my belling dancing experience.
I was met by Brooke Megan (teacher and belly dance guru) with the warmest of smiles and the most welcoming of greetings.
The studio had a very warm and inviting vibe and I was instantly put at ease.
Brooke Megan Belly Dancer
An introduction to the rest of my fellow dancers was given and everyone was gracious and friendly towards me (the new comer). Students had the option to bring their own hip scarves or to choose one from Brooke’s wide, not to mention beautiful, collection. Not having any of my own, I chose one of Brookes’ (I would later find out that she’s owned this particular hip scarf for 8 years- no pressure).
Once everyone was ready to begin, we all took our seats on our mats and Brooke began her introduction to what holistic belly dancing is all about.
Brooke Megan Belly Dancer
Brooke’s view is that
‘’Dance is more than just a series of movements, and by underscoring its strong links to mental and spiritual health, it can be used to guide women toward a greater understanding of self’’.
The class was a safe space where women could share their thoughts and emotions without judgement. After Brookes’ explanations, we all sat in our circle and experienced the openness of touch with one another.
We all paired up and gave our partners hand massages using essentials oils (this exercise is practiced openly to learn to relax and give of ourselves but also to receive from others.
Also it helps one to be open to new experiences and emotions by letting go of any negative energy we may have stored up).
Brooke Megan - Belly Dance Classes
We were given a small demonstration as to how to massage the hand then we were off (of course it is clearly mentioned by Brooke that any and all activities done in the classroom are not forced upon students and anytime anyone is not comfortable with something, they are free to sit out with no judgement or issues). This said, I sat back and allowed my partner to give me my hand massage.
At first, I was clearly not relaxed as my partner was so keenly able to detect (by simply feeling how tense my forearm was). Then as she calmly told me to relax and enjoy, I found myself surrendering to the calming music playing in the background and found that my massage was actually very pleasant.
I found myself letting go of my tension and just giving into the moment.
Once we had given and received our hand massages, we gathered in our circle once more and captured what we had taken away from the experience, in our journals.
The group then proceeded to share their thoughts on the massage exercise and what they had taken away from the experience. I myself shared how impressed I was with my partner’s ability to almost immediately detect where I was holding all my tension in my forearm (carpal tunnel syndrome- a common job hazard among writers) and therefore she was able to relieve some of the pain.
Brooke Megan - Belly Dance Classes
Now that our spirits were open and our emotional palettes were cleansed, it was time to warm up our bodies and belly dance. We started by stretching out and getting our muscles ready. Then came the moment I had been so anxious about: experiencing what belly dancing was all about.
Poses and stances were front and center and I awoke muscles my body seemed to have forgotten I had.
We observed ourselves in the studio mirrors so as to mimic what Brooke was showing us (to the best of our abilities).
Brooke gave us a phenomenal example of what we could eventually accomplish with these wonderful moves and she performed for the entire class.
It inspired us all and definitely made me want to give it a whirl.
Brooke Megan - Belly Dancing Classes
The amazing part is by this time I wasn’t feeling self conscience at all. I was totally comfortable in the environment that Brooke had created for the class.
We all moved to the music, holding our belly dance poses and receiving encouragement from each other and Brooke.
The aspect that surprised me the most is that as a woman, I have spent the better part of my life trying to make my body giggle as little as possible.
Now, I was being encouraged to shake all my little bits as much as I could and it was fabulous! No shame, just pure liberation and enjoyment of the female form in all its glory.
As we danced and learned how to move our bodies, time seemed to just fly by. Before I knew it, the class had come to an end and it was time to cool down. Brooke gave each and every one individual high-fives and congratulations on a job well done. It was such a rewarding experience.
Brooke Megan - Belly Dance Classes
So that marked the end of my first belly dancing experience (the first of many to come). As I said my goodbyes to my fellow belly dancers, I mentioned how I was looking forward to the next class.
I made my way home and discovered that I had a level of renewed energy and optimism that I have not felt in a very long time. I felt a boost both mentally and physically (even though my muscles were telling me otherwise).
I am so looking forward to next week’s class.
Namaste!
-Pillow Talk Gal
About Pillow Talk Gal
Born and raised in British Columbia, she is a professional woman managing a career, marriage, and a teenager. Life can be challenging at times but she's a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason, and more often than not, she tries to understand those reasons.
"Join me in my journey throughout life’s issues and I guarantee you’ll be left pondering an issue or two." - Pillow Talk Gal
*Disclaimer: All photos of Brooke Megan are copyright Brooke Megan and all persons in the photos retain all their rights, interest and titles in the photos. All photos appear here with written permission on file with Brooke Megan.
About Brooke Megan and House of Lavender
- Holistic Belly Dance Group
Located at: 5582A Sherbrooke Street O, Montreal, QC H4A 1W3
Telephone number: 514-814-7557
Face book page: House of Lavender: Beauty and Wellness
Brooke Megan has been teaching belly dancing for 8 years and has extensive experience in dance through her teaching at Carlton University in Ottawa.
She herself was introduced to belly dancing through group lessons and was compelled to share this wonderful art form with others. She has performed at the Shenkman Art Centre in Ottawa, various art galleries and cafes. Her goal in offering belly dance lessons is to educate people with regards to the beauty and strength of exotic dance. She wants to have people experience this art form at a grass roots level.
Her six week program is open to all who wish to explore their creative side all the while relieving stress and getting fit.
For more information call 514-814-7557 or check out her Face book page: House of Lavender: Beauty and Wellness
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Some personalized birthday ideas are explored in this contributed post.
birthday cake https://tinyurl.com/y9yv3nsx
I always try to make sure I plan to perfect birthday for my husband. I know that many of my readers also have partners, and so I wanted to release an article that gives you some great ideas. If you struggle to organise the celebrations for your loved one, you can use this post as inspiration. At the end of the day, you just need to show them that you care. You also need to make them feel special for that one day out of the year. Don’t worry if you haven’t got a lot of money to spend at the moment. A happy birthday isn’t about how much cash you throw at it, and there are always ways in which you can make savings.
Search for quirky gifts
Regardless of how much you can afford to spend, you’ll want to get your partner something different for their birthday. When all’s said and done, they have cash of their own. So, if they wanted anything from a high street shop, they’d probably go out and buy it. The experts behind Cuckooland's gifts for men say there are more quirky and unique product sites than ever before. So, you need to turn to the internet to find something interesting. You always find better prices online, and there is no reason to spend a fortune. Just select something that he probably hasn’t seen before.
Cook his favourite meal
Everyone likes to eat a decent meal on their birthday. So, you should remember your partner’s favourite dish and prepare it for his big day. You can also make some cookies or some other dessert he’ll love. Make a list of ingredients a couple of days in advance, so you have enough time to get them from your local store. You can then sit down and eat together during the early evening. You could also give him his gifts at the same time if you have children. They way, they can enjoy him opening the presents too. If you give them to your loved one in the morning, the kids might miss out because they have to go to school.
Spend time together
Lastly, I advise that whatever happens, you spend some time together. That could mean going out for a few drinks or staying home and cuddling on the sofa. In truth, it doesn’t matter how you spend your time so long as you’re by your partner’s side. When all’s said and done, there are only a few days each year in which you have to make each other feel special. So, plan something that will allow you to achieve that goal. Again, if you have children, you should think about involving them in any activities you organise.
As you can see from that advice, you don’t have to work hard to plan the perfect birthday. You just have to make sure you have some time together. Your partner isn’t going to care about gold Rolex watches or anything expensive. If they love you, they’ll feel happy just being in your company. One last thing; make sure both of you book the day off work. You deserve to take a break on such an important date.
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Find The Right Sex Toys For A Couple by Dr Stacy Friedman
How to Find the Right Toy for a Couple
By Dr. Stacy Friedman
Whether you’re a beginner or more advanced in using adult toys, knowing what toy to bring into your relationship may be confusing.
Some people may feel that they are less of a lover or not capable enough to please their partner if they need or want to use toys,
but that can’t be further from the truth!
Toys are great if you want to spice things up!
They can enhance any relationship and can even help with difficulty in having orgasms.
When it comes to finding the right toys for a couple,
communication is important so you are both on the same page.
You need to see what the purpose of the toy is,
whether it’s just to try something new or if you struggle reaching orgasm and you want a toy to help.
.
When it comes to finding the right toys for a couple,
communication is important so you are both on the same page.
You need to see what the purpose of the toy is,
whether it’s just to try something new or if you struggle reaching orgasm and you want a toy to help.
.
Dress Up And Role Play
For The Beginners
Starting for the beginners, finding something a little more simple and less intimidating is key.
Then you can move to a few advanced ideas
Here are some tips
so you know what toys may be best for what you need.
1. Start with some lotions, oils or soy massage candles. A soy candle with the wax poured on the skin after the candle is blown out will not burn the skin but can be erotic, fun and can also be used as a massage oil. There are enhancing creams containing stimulating gel that increases the blood flow and gives a throbbing feel between your legs. Try some edible warming massage oil and lick it off the body. Yum! Don’t forget the lube. Lube makes everything glide better!
Lotions, and Lubes and Oils! Oh My!
Book For Beginners
2. My beginner go-to toy starts with a silver bullet. It’s called a silver bullet because that’s exactly what it looks like. It’s a stimulator that is used on the clit as it vibrates. It can also be used on the male’s perineum (area between the testicles and the anus) while giving oral sex for a heightened experience. Use it on the clit while having intercourse to enhance the sensation for those who struggle with vaginal orgasms.
3. The next thing you can use is a C-ring, which is great for men to keep the blood flow in the penis, which can help them last longer. If you get one with the bullet attached to the ring, it can help women have an orgasm through intercourse because it rubs on the clit as the man penetrates.
Penetrating Thoughts
Believe it or not 75% of women can’t have an orgasm through intercourse so this helps take some of the pressure off!
Just make sure lube is used when putting the ring on or it may not slide on very comfortably…ouch!
What's Your Fetish?
4. As you get more comfortable, you can bring in some light bondage such as handcuffs, rope ties and blindfolds. As long as both adults consent and you have trust in each other, then playing with these toys can be very erotic. When using these toys, you are taking away one or more of the senses so it allows the other senses to be more enhanced…very stimulating!
5. To the more advanced couple, you can try anal plugs or anal beads (they have vibrating ones too!) and try stimulating the forgotten pleasure zone…the anus! Get yourself some silicone lube, which is best to use on the backside and go slow, listen to your partner and how they are feeling, then continue playing around while the plug or beads are still inside.
Sensually Anal
The plug is a great prostate stimulator so anyone can enjoy anal play. Give some oral or have intercourse and then feel the intensity of your orgasm!
Don’t knock it until you try it!
The most important thing is deciding together, as a couple, what is best and just be open to trying something new. If it doesn’t work, then try something else but be open to variety, as it is the spice of life!
Written by: Dr. Stacy Friedman
About The Author
Dr. Stacy Friedman, DHS, CSC
Dr. Stacy is the founder of Creating Intimacy Coach, Inc. She got involved in the field of Clinical Sexology because of her passion for helping people learn to experience the best sexual intimacy with themselves and with their partner(s). She holds a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality, a Masters in Clinical Sexology and is a Certified Sex Coach. Dr. Stacy is a member of WASC (World Association of Sex Coaches), and of the ACS (American College of Sexologists), which shows she has earned top credentials in her field. She also has a BA in Psychology and a Registered Diagnostic Medical and Vascular Sonographer.
Sex Coaching is designed to help women, men, and people of any sexual orientation or gender address their concerns about sexuality, sexual function and sexual expression. Additionally, since 2006, Dr. Stacy has been a consultant selling adult novelties and has coached and educated many people in a fun, positive approach to love, romance and in all aspects of sexuality. Her education and personal, spiritual and sexual journey, including life experience uniquely enables her to help people to face the challenges that may lie ahead and to achieve their goals.
If you would like to discuss a concern in greater detail, you may contact Dr. Stacy at 561-899-7669 or by email at Stacy@drstacy.org for a complimentary consultation. Dr. Stacy works with all aspects of sexuality and specializes in women’s issues, low libido, couples with mismatched sex drives and LGBTQ concerns. Coaching sessions are available by phone, Skype (international coaching is offered) and in office sessions located in South Florida, US.
www.DrStacy.org Your Creating Intimacy Coach
www.facebook.com/DrStacySexCoach
Twitter- DrStacySexCoach
LinkedIn- DrStacy
“My passion is to help you create yours” - Dr. Stacy xo
*************************************************
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Sign Up For Pre Marriage Coaching to Divorce Proof Your Relationship
The Wedding Toast Speech
By Frank Kermit
Remember this day, your wedding day.
Not for the parties,
not for the extravagance,
nor the dinner and dancing,
but remember this day, your wedding day
because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse.
Remember who is it that you picked to marry on this day,
and why you picked this person
over all other choices available.
Remember the reasons why you chose to get married
and how it fits in with your plans,
life goals
and why you decided
that the person that you wanted
as your spouse
was a reflection of everything you felt
is important to you enough
that you wanted to make him or her
part of your family.
Remember this day, your wedding day
That the ritual of the wedding
is more than just a celebration
of your new union.
It is to mark the change in your lives
as individual "I"'s
to a unified sign of a "we".
As a "we",
you call on all those people closest to you both
to witness and be a part of your togetherness,
in the hopes
that not only will they be celebrating your endeavor;
they will also be employed
in the ongoing support
of your new and future family.
Remember this day, their Wedding Day
To you: the wedding guests,
please know and remember
that your role in being present,
is more than the gifts you offer,
your toasting their happiness,
and your boost to start the new couple
in their new life together.
Your role as participants
in a wedding audience
is that you have also accepted a role
in the ongoing support
of the new couple
to help keep this new family together
through the hardships and triumphs
that life can
and will force upon us.
For better or for worse,
isn't just a saying.
It is a reminder.
Life gets very real
when you have someone else
to care for and think about.
If and when you are blessed with children,
the realness
of every decision you both make
is even more intense;
Remember this day, your wedding day,
as you both pledge
to do your best
to suffer them together,
and support each other,
even when either of you
happen be at your worst.
Remember this day, your wedding day
Because you BOTH
Will Make Mistakes
There will be times
you both will make mistakes,
when you both will etch
an emotional scar,
when you will have to deal
with financial worries,
mental health concerns,
new limits on your physical abilities,
accidents,
the challenges of well meaning people who love you,
who interfere more than help you,
having to move and change with the times,
and in the death
and passing of people close to you.
Remember This Day, Your Wedding Day,
As you both pass
into the next stage of your lifespan,
up to and even past the point
of being present for
the possible weddings of your own children
and grand children.
Remember this day, your wedding day,
Remember every reason you had
to make the commitment
to start this journey together,
knowing that life together
would NOT be easy
but that you still wanted
to go through with it.
Remember this day, your wedding day
because it was the event
you chose to create.
Remember the love
that brought you together,
the willingness to stand together,
and the drive behind
making your intent
to build a future together a public decree.
When either of you
are overwhelmed by life,
and it is likely to happen
more often than not
over the course of your lives together,
remember this day, your wedding day
to remind you
why you chose to make it happen.
Remember this day, your wedding day,
to help you build
and create a better future for the two of you,
through each and every new day
you decide to stay together
and honor the promise
as best you can
everyday.
So, Remember this day, your wedding day,
when some days are better,
when some days are worse,
and take it one day at a time.
-Frank Kermit
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Learn how to pick a wedding theme in this contributed post.
There are blue skies above, which means that wedding season is about to hit the ground running. If you’re planning a wedding in the coming months, you may be thinking about whether to have a themed celebration or not. Wedding themes appeal to some couples, but you don’t have to have a theme for your big day. If you do like the idea, here are some tips to help you choose the perfect theme for your wedding.
Seasonal themes
The seasons play an important role when it comes to choosing a theme, and many couples take inspiration from the weather, the surroundings, and the time of year. If you’re getting married in the holidays, for example, winter wonderland and Christmas themes are always a big hit. If it’s summer, and you’re having a beach wedding, something more tropical and exotic may appeal. If it’s fall, you may choose to use the colors of the leaves for your table decorations, or you may go for golds, rich reds or burgundy shades for your bridesmaid dresses, for example.
Seasonal themes
The seasons play an important role when it comes to choosing a theme, and many couples take inspiration from the weather, the surroundings, and the time of year. If you’re getting married in the holidays, for example, winter wonderland and Christmas themes are always a big hit. If it’s summer, and you’re having a beach wedding, something more tropical and exotic may appeal. If it’s fall, you may choose to use the colors of the leaves for your table decorations, or you may go for golds, rich reds or burgundy shades for your bridesmaid dresses, for example.
wedding planner https://tinyurl.com/lwpxdxk
Heritage and culture
Many people like to celebrate their heritage when it comes to planning a wedding. This could be reflected in the addition of dragons to the table centerpieces or choosing the color red for an invitation for a Chinese wedding or in the outfits you choose to wear for a Scottish celebration. If you’re marrying somebody from a different culture, using your heritage is a theme is a great way to bring everyone together and create a day that involves both sides of the family.
On-trend themes
If you’re getting married soon, you’re probably aware of what’s hot and what’s not in the world of wedding themes. Like fashion catwalks, trends change every year, and there is always a collection of ideas, which seems to reflect what everyone wants. A couple of years ago, vintage fayres and shabby chic were all the rage, and this year, al fresco gatherings are stealing the show. Informal ceremonies are becoming increasingly popular, and more and more people are shunning the traditional wedding breakfast in favor of more sociable and less formal options like barbecues, buffets, and grazing platters.
Many people like to celebrate their heritage when it comes to planning a wedding. This could be reflected in the addition of dragons to the table centerpieces or choosing the color red for an invitation for a Chinese wedding or in the outfits you choose to wear for a Scottish celebration. If you’re marrying somebody from a different culture, using your heritage is a theme is a great way to bring everyone together and create a day that involves both sides of the family.
On-trend themes
If you’re getting married soon, you’re probably aware of what’s hot and what’s not in the world of wedding themes. Like fashion catwalks, trends change every year, and there is always a collection of ideas, which seems to reflect what everyone wants. A couple of years ago, vintage fayres and shabby chic were all the rage, and this year, al fresco gatherings are stealing the show. Informal ceremonies are becoming increasingly popular, and more and more people are shunning the traditional wedding breakfast in favor of more sociable and less formal options like barbecues, buffets, and grazing platters.
romantic wedding vows https://tinyurl.com/mstbbwa
Passions
It’s common for couples to use their passions and interests as a source of inspiration when it comes to planning a wedding. Perhaps you’ve traveled the world together, and your table names are named after your favorite places. Maybe you love jazz, and you’ve gone for a retro Hollywood theme with live music. Or maybe you’re massive fans of Star Wars, Harry Potter or Game of Thrones and you’ve asked everyone to dress up for your big day. If you do have a shared passion, this is an excellent way of personalizing your ceremony and making it memorable.
If you’re in the middle of planning a wedding and you’re considering potential themes, think about what interests you, and what kind of event you want to create. Celebrate what makes you special, be creative, and plan a day that’s unique and personal.
It’s common for couples to use their passions and interests as a source of inspiration when it comes to planning a wedding. Perhaps you’ve traveled the world together, and your table names are named after your favorite places. Maybe you love jazz, and you’ve gone for a retro Hollywood theme with live music. Or maybe you’re massive fans of Star Wars, Harry Potter or Game of Thrones and you’ve asked everyone to dress up for your big day. If you do have a shared passion, this is an excellent way of personalizing your ceremony and making it memorable.
If you’re in the middle of planning a wedding and you’re considering potential themes, think about what interests you, and what kind of event you want to create. Celebrate what makes you special, be creative, and plan a day that’s unique and personal.
- Published on
5 Tips To Make Your Home More Seductive - Pimp Your Pad
Your Home is Your Seduction
By Frank Kermit
Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaurant. This is home field advantage.
And why not?
After all, there is no cover charge, you do not have to share a public washroom with strangers, you can put your feet up, a meal is way cheaper, and you can even prepare the meal together as part of the fun!
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, depending on how you live at home...plenty could go wrong, and even though you might be able to keep your date intrigued enough, your place could be a turn off in ways you might not know.
First Dates, Places Where To Go
Generally speaking, your place is one of the best locations to have a date.
It meets all of the Frank 5-Star Criteria that I discuss in my audio program 101 Great First Dates: Where To Go, when you are trying to decide if a location is suitable for a date, including the ever-challenging Sex-Ability Factor (the ability in a location to provide for a sexual act to happen at).
As long as you feel safe with someone coming over, your place is likely one of the best places (if not THE BEST place) for you to host a date.
It meets all of the Frank 5-Star Criteria that I discuss in my audio program 101 Great First Dates: Where To Go, when you are trying to decide if a location is suitable for a date, including the ever-challenging Sex-Ability Factor (the ability in a location to provide for a sexual act to happen at).
As long as you feel safe with someone coming over, your place is likely one of the best places (if not THE BEST place) for you to host a date.
However, there are pitfalls. If your home is not a warm and receptive environment that makes visitors feel invited to overstay their welcome,
you could inadvertently be pushing away your hearts desire.
If your home is un-kept, smelly or a trigger for guests with allergies, that great new person in your life might have reason not to see you again.
For example, having pets and being an animal lover is no excuse for an overflowing litter box, or inappropriate cage crust dangling off the unchanged newspaper lining.
The Story of a Personal Journey
On occasion, I make coaching house calls for people that seek out to create an alluring seductive homestead to help them attract sexual partners and/or relationship candidates. Some people may require an objective eye to help them spot those idiosyncrasies that the proprietor may be oblivious too.
The single 20+ woman who can not understand why her lover would not want to spend the night with her after sex, may have to re-consider replacing that single twin bed with something bigger like a queen-size mattress so both of you can get a decent night's sleep.
The Rules of Sex for Guys that Barely Know How
That single 30+ male gamer might have to re-think how unsexy his Star-Wars bed-sheets are to a woman that may already have young children and does not want her mommy instincts triggered. If does not matter that the single twin bed is uber comfortable, or that the bed-sheets are an expensive vintage commodity. If those things are killing your chances to get you the love life you want, put them in storage.
New parents must adapt their home environment to suit the new addition to the family, and make their spaces child-friendly, complete with electrical outlet covers, foam paddled floors, and exchanging the glass coffee table top for something toddler resistant and less jagged.
If you have a new addition in your life (such as a new goal of finding someone to share that life in some capacity) you also have to adapt your living space to reflect what is important to you.
The Ethics of Seduction To Keep You From Crossing the Line
Here are some general guidelines
Sex Furniture To Say It For You
1-Your sexuality must be displayed.
This is usually best done through your choice of artwork. If you are single and living alone, let your artwork reveal what you like. Nude sculptors, sexually themed ornaments, even provocative paintings displaying your sense of playfulness will communicate what secrets someone can share with you, and what you are open to experiencing. If you feel too stifled to share yourself in your own safe space, those that visit you in that space may feel too stifled to share themselves with you as well.
This is usually best done through your choice of artwork. If you are single and living alone, let your artwork reveal what you like. Nude sculptors, sexually themed ornaments, even provocative paintings displaying your sense of playfulness will communicate what secrets someone can share with you, and what you are open to experiencing. If you feel too stifled to share yourself in your own safe space, those that visit you in that space may feel too stifled to share themselves with you as well.
2-Forget "nice" decorations.
Every item for decoration, whether paintings for the wall, or an artifact like a candle-holding knick-knack, MUST be there for a reason. That reason is to further the art of conversation. If the only reason you have it is because "you like it", that is not good enough. It must be linked to a story you can tell such as a souvenir from one of your travels, or linked too a special memory that you would want to share. Once it is established for your guest that each item in your home reveals a story to share, your guests will be more intrigued to discover what mysterious motivations inhabit your home.
How to Tell Stories and TALK on dates that lead somewhere
3-Maintain it as if you always have a date coming over.
If you are the type of person that must scramble around the house for hours to get it just right for a date to come over, you are working too hard. First, that much work is an emotional investment you are making that can be interpreted as neediness on a date.
Second, getting your place ready each time sucks up your energy that is best spent getting to know your date and being your best self. Whatever the set up you have when a date comes over, is the way your place should look at all times.
If you only bring out certain candles when a date arrives, or put a particular bottle in the fridge, or move your furniture around to create an ideal setting, it is best to always have those candles out, your bottles in the fridge and your furniture in the ideal settings at all times.
The energy levels you will take on your date that you saved from a massive cleaning will be well reserved to help create an outstanding evening.
4-Your Bathroom represents your Genitals.
I know, I know. Sound utterly ridiculous. However, that is the analogy I use to explain the importance of a clean washroom.
If there was one area of your home that needs extra care, it is the washroom just as if there was one area of your body that needs extra care it is the genital area. If you want to really turn off a potential lover, a dirty toilet and moldy shower curtain can do it.
The bathroom is usually the very last place a person visits before sex.
A bathroom that creeps out a person will have a very different effect than one with appropriate artwork (see above), scented candles already lit, a fresh shower curtain and a sparkling toilet.
If you want to have a spectacular love life at your home, and you do not have the time or the inclination to clean the bathroom, hire a cleaner to come over for a couple of hours each week to scrub it down.
It is worth the investment.
5-Have extra toiletries.
Here we are in the bathroom again. Always have extra toiletries for guests staying over night. Extra bars of soap still in the package, extra toothbrushes, extra mini-tubes of toothpaste, contact lens cleaner just in case, for the guys make sure to have some tampons and pads handy, for the girls keep men's saving cream and disposal razors handy, and always keep a big clean warm towel reserved. .
Here we are in the bathroom again. Always have extra toiletries for guests staying over night. Extra bars of soap still in the package, extra toothbrushes, extra mini-tubes of toothpaste, contact lens cleaner just in case, for the guys make sure to have some tampons and pads handy, for the girls keep men's saving cream and disposal razors handy, and always keep a big clean warm towel reserved. .
The key factor is that those toiletries stay at your place after your lover leaves in the morning, and it encourages your over night guests to want to come over again, especially when they know they already have their own toiletries there
Making the effort of pimping your pad can be the difference between using your toilet to enhance your love life, or your love life being in the toilet.
Frank Kermit
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Athlete and Vixen: Making of a Pole Dancer - Part II
Athlete and Vixen: Making of a Pole Dancer - Part II
by Melanie Lynch
I last posted about Pole dancing being a sport and that not all Pole dancers are strippers but I asked the question ‘what is so wrong with stripping anyway?’
When I started Pole dancing I found that I would get so frustrated with everyone implying I was a stripper. As years went by I started participating in more shows and met so many great women.
They were all out there trying to be brave, showing up in small costumes and hoping they would put on a performance. Some of these fantastic women were almost naked and some were actually stripping. I marvelled at them and loved them for the courage on stage but quickly learned that although they were strong on stage backstage they were nervous balls of energy getting their courage up and trying to remember their routines.
I discovered that there really was
nothing different between them and me.
So once again, let’s start at the beginning. When I started my Pole journey, I went to my first class and I was wearing full-length leggings and a tank top. To me this was revealing.
As we progressed I needed to climb and so the leggings changed to shorts. I learned to hold the Pole between my legs (yes, I am aware of how that sounded) and the shorts got a lot smaller.
Then the ultimate thing happened, I started to flip upside down and needed to position the Pole across my abdomen.
So my tank tops needed to turn into a crop top or sports bra. Let me tell you, after you have had three children, your first instinct is not to show off the stomach area.
As I stood there, I had to fight the urge to cover my stomach with my hands. But Pole is so much more than exercise.
It’s a community.
A loving, welcoming community that encourages women to not apologize for the way they look.
These ladies push you to grow, express yourself and be bold!
At the same time as I started attending Pole shows,
I also started going to Burlesque shows.
The first time I went to one, I was completely blown away. I had never seen anything like it.
These women came out with the most amazing, decadent, creative costumes and performed with such sublime beauty that it took my breath away.
They were stripping but the show was more than just removing their clothes, it was a celebration of beauty, whether it was the movement, the costumes or the woman themselves, it was simply beautiful.
I had the privilege to watch one performer named Coco Framboise who came on stage wearing the massive fur boa which she slowly undressed behind.
It was a cheeky tease because you would only see glimpses of her caramel skin behind the white softness of the fluffy boa. She was mesmerizing and the crowd absolutely loved her. There’s nothing like the crowds at these shows. The first thing you notice about these crowds is that they consist largely of women and these women scream, shout and catcall the performers in encouragement.
They show their appreciation for what is happening on stage. I was drawn to try this too and so signed up for the Coco Framboise School of Burlesque.
I wanted to learn how to exude
that kind of confidence and beauty.
http://www.marissaelizabethimages.com
Burlesque and Pole have so much in common.
They celebrate the beauty, power and courage of women and all are welcome.
It doesn’t matter if you 18 or 80, it doesn’t matter what size you are and it doesn’t matter if you’re a gymnast or dancer or have two left feet.
All that matters is that you’re out there expressing yourself, enjoying life and no matter what happens; the community will always be there to cheer and scream.
Of course, some of those who are not exposed to the beauty of these worlds look upon from the outside in judgment.
They celebrate the beauty, power and courage of women and all are welcome.
It doesn’t matter if you 18 or 80, it doesn’t matter what size you are and it doesn’t matter if you’re a gymnast or dancer or have two left feet.
All that matters is that you’re out there expressing yourself, enjoying life and no matter what happens; the community will always be there to cheer and scream.
Of course, some of those who are not exposed to the beauty of these worlds look upon from the outside in judgment.
I once read one of those Facebook postcards that said something like “some women feel empowered by covering themselves while others by taking their clothes off, who are we to judge” and it spoke to me.
There’s a lot of criticism about women taking their clothes off or objectifying themselves and I won’t go into all their arguments here.
You can’t take two steps without running into their voices and you can go read about it yourselves.
There’s something to me that just doesn’t fit about this mindset.
- Firstly, not everything is about men. Sometimes we do things for ourselves. Imagine, going out there and feeling beautiful and powerful in an alternate existence than your everyday life. We spend huge amounts of time and energy as good mothers, wives, daughters and business people every day sometimes it is nice to step out of that world and in to one where we can feel free and be bold.
- Secondly, there are barely any men in the audience we usually just perform for each other.
- Thirdly, there are usually men behind the scenes telling us not to do that. Trying to own our bodies and telling us what to do. This is us telling them ‘forget you’.
- Lastly, most of the time women don’t feel powerful or beautiful in our everyday lives and we are often reminded that we are not the girls portrayed in the magazines. WE need to find that feeling for ourselves and Pole helps some of us to get to that mindset but still there are some people that keep telling us we are wrong. I want to say that we are not wrong!
WE are strong and determined.
We do not want to be told anything about ourselves anymore.
We own our lives, our bodies and the way we choose express ourselves.
You are not qualified to judge me or others who enjoy this activity.
This is our choice.
Why is it wrong to be us? We are not hurting you or ourselves.
In fact we are having fun and life should be fun.
Maybe no one will understand what we are trying to do and that’s ok but all I ask is that the judgment stop, and that you just sit back and enjoy the show since we have worked hard to pull it together!
If you think I am crazy and wrong, well that’s ok too because I have a whole community of women that are there with me cheering me on and supporting me every step of the way and I really didn’t choose to do it for you anyway.
To read Part 1 of this series,
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/-athlete-and-vixen-the-making-of-a-pole-dancer
Author
Melanie Lynch started pole dancing seven years ago for fun and exercise. Eventually, she became a Certified Pole Instructor with the Canadian Pole Fitness Association (CPFA) and began teaching all levels of students. After a few years of dancing, she started performing for audiences. In 2016 Melanie decided to enter competitions. She made it into the Ontario Pole Fitness Champion, in the Masters Category and finished 1st runner –up. She trains at Pole Fit Nation.
Canadian Pole Fitness Association
Pole Fit Nation
Melanie Lynch started pole dancing seven years ago for fun and exercise. Eventually, she became a Certified Pole Instructor with the Canadian Pole Fitness Association (CPFA) and began teaching all levels of students. After a few years of dancing, she started performing for audiences. In 2016 Melanie decided to enter competitions. She made it into the Ontario Pole Fitness Champion, in the Masters Category and finished 1st runner –up. She trains at Pole Fit Nation.
Canadian Pole Fitness Association
Pole Fit Nation
- Published on
The importance of continuing to show your love is highlighted in this contributed post.
Most of life is very simple. We’re born, we love, we laugh, we cry, we die. When you make it easy, life is simply those steps and along every step, love is the central theme. We are born into love. We are taught to grow in love before we fall in love ourselves, and it’s the most beautiful emotion. Life may be simple, but love is not. Love is the most complicated emotion in the human spectrum of emotions. We all crave it, we all seek it and for the most part, we cherish it once we have it. It comes from different places: children, partners and parents, and it means different things to everyone.
kiss romantic couple https://tinyurl.com/kwta5c3
Falling in love for the first time is one of the most meaningful experience you’ll ever have. The relationships that we have shape who we are as people and even when you think a short relationship doesn’t matter, there’s always an impact. You have to make love count where you can and live it in the moment rather than dismiss it from life, or you can end up becoming cynical about it. When you think back to the start of your relationship, you probably remember the fun. The sparks that flew, the dates you went on and the fizz in your stomach when they smiled at you are all memorable dating moments.
kiss romantic couple https://tinyurl.com/k6thmmr
Relationships do go stale and boring as time goes on; it’s an inevitability. But it comes from lack of effort. They only become boring if both parties aren’t putting their absolute all into it. You can’t be gifted with a great love and allow it to rot – you need to nurture it and let it thrive between you. The effort has to come from both of you and if you make it spontaneous and exciting every day, you’ll have a love that counts. Making love last through the years depends on the way you treat it. See the best in the person you’re with – they’re not going to be perfect but looking at the good qualities that they have over the bad is going to end things far earlier than you may imagine. The one thing that’s different when time passes, is the effort that gets put in. There are plenty of ways that you can make an effort for your relationship and the tips available on www.mydatingsolutions.com are fantastic and can really help you with those early dating nerves. When you make love count in your relationship, you can keep that romance and passion alive. You don’t need to do huge gestures in your relationship, even the smallest gestures can be appreciated and cherished. Always be thoughtful with any gestures you make and be grateful for those that you also receive.
romantic mood https://tinyurl.com/mojvjk8
You don’t have to be at the beginning of a relationship to have passion and romance. You can carry this throughout a whole relationship from beginning to whenever it ends – early or til death do you part! Did you know that one of the most important ways to show your love and affection is simply to listen? Listening is the cornerstone of any great, successful relationship and it’s not just the goals and the fun you should be paying attention to. Listen to the rants and the upset and the stresses they are experiencing. There’s nothing more romantic than someone who sits up and takes notice of you and your life. Get to know each other every day and keep things fresh. When the relationship is going a bit stale or boring – as they often do – don’t wait for it to fizzle out. Stand up and make your love count for you both.
heart in hand https://tinyurl.com/ljbv7ca
There are so many ways you can make love last in your life and having compassion is key. When you embark on a brand-new relationship, wooing is key. It’s not flowers, chocolates and dinners you need to use to woo them, but your humour and happiness and ability to show compassion. Understand their needs, be sympathetic to their desires and look for any way you can show them an act of kindness. If you’ve been married for several years, you can still show the person you love compassion and romance, and it’s even more important in a marriage. Making love last isn’t about the material things, it’s about how you can be your whole self with someone and how you can take notice of the little things. Sliding doors moments of relationships like these are the ones that count the most, such as companionably brushing teeth together before bed or making an effort to clear up a mess instead of pointing it out. Those moments are overlooked too often and they are the ones that people should be cherishing.
kiss romantic couple https://tinyurl.com/lnezjqm
Affection, passion and romance are all things that people crave with their love. Pay attention to their needs, make sure you kiss every day and make sure you spend time just laughing together. Laughter is the best thing for any relationship, new or old, to bloom. Older relationships grow into a mature love that doesn’t always need the fizz and bang of early relationship wonders, but there’s nothing wrong with having a little fizz! Mature love is usually diluted by children, jobs and distractions that secure your relationship but pull you apart romantically and make you forget those early days of passion. Rediscover them. Date each other all over again and do all the things you started out doing when you first fell in love.
You can make love count in thousands of ways, too many to list, and those ways all go hand in hand with effort for each other. If you want something to work, make it happen. If you want to fall in love again after a break up, make it happen. Put yourself out there and try hard for yourself. Love doesn’t just fall into our laps, it takes work and it’s wonderful and frustrating all at once. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s all you’ll crave. Make it count!
You can make love count in thousands of ways, too many to list, and those ways all go hand in hand with effort for each other. If you want something to work, make it happen. If you want to fall in love again after a break up, make it happen. Put yourself out there and try hard for yourself. Love doesn’t just fall into our laps, it takes work and it’s wonderful and frustrating all at once. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s all you’ll crave. Make it count!
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This is a Guest Contribution
Vibrators Are Not Your Competition!
by Karly Stein
I hear this from men all the time,
“I can please her better than a vibrator can”
“She won’t need that when she’s with me”.
Recently, on a Facebook group page I read word from a man stating that vibrators were his number one competition.
Well here’s the truth…. It’s not a competition!!
by Karly Stein
I hear this from men all the time,
“I can please her better than a vibrator can”
“She won’t need that when she’s with me”.
Recently, on a Facebook group page I read word from a man stating that vibrators were his number one competition.
Well here’s the truth…. It’s not a competition!!
Vibrators and Massagers in all shapes, sizes and themes
10 Reasons why you need to appreciate the vibrator!
- Vibrators can be used to spice it up and keep the monotony out of your sex life.
- They speed up climax times
- Professional Tool for Professional Results! Did you know vibrators were actually invented because a doctor was too tired from getting women to orgasm from manual stimulation?
- Vibrators were actually invented to cure a condition called hysteria.
- Can be use on both men and women
- The more orgasms she has the more her body wants them, so use that to your advantage!
- Vibrators can create more intense orgasms and offer the option for blended orgasms
- Vibrators add a third without a third person being there
- Women should be having at least 200 orgasms a year to help with heart health and many other health reasons, so vibrators allow her to have 200 orgasms much more easily.
- Vibrators are a good alternative when her man isn’t available.
Men provide much more to a woman than a vibrator can!
Women seek from men: companionship, love, touch, protection and more.
All things a vibrator can’t provide and that is why vibrators are not competition for men. So embrace the vibrator, understand that it is your ally. Have fun and be safe.
If you need more help in area of dating and relationship, schedule a free 30 minute discovery call at www.KarlyStein.com !
***********
Karly Stein of www.KarlyStein.com is your Wing Woman when it comes to dating and relationships. She is the host of Dating, Mating and Relating with Karly Stein on www.tapthemicradio.com. Author of 101 Ideas to Create Fun and Memorable Dates and the upcoming book Anatomy of a Bad Boy, How to be the Nice Guy and Still Get the Girl.
In 2012, Karly started her path into this industry by signing up to Sell Intimate Products and she quickly discovered that she loved learning everything she could about dating, relationships, intimacy and sex and then discovered a passion for teaching about it.
In 2014, She took a Passion and Intimacy Coaching Certification course and that quickly changed her path into coaching.
Karly is passionate about men stay out of the friend zone in relationships and helping women fully embrace their feminine side.
Karly Studied Communications and studio art at the University of Denver.
She currently lives in Denver, CO.
