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Follow the advice in this contributed post to ensure you have the breathtaking photographs you desire on your wedding day!
Your wedding day is a day of firsts. It’s the first time you stand in front of an altar and say “I do.” It’s the first time you kiss as a married couple. It’s your first (and hopefully only) wedding ceremony. So, it’s vital that everything goes to plan, and that includes the photographs. After all, you want to document the big day and look back at a later date.
Unfortunately, hiring a photographer and asking him or her to do their best isn’t the way forward. To get breathtaking shots, you need to follow this advice.
Ask For Permission
From the church. A large percentage of ceremonies take place in churches because it’s classy and traditional. Sadly, religions aren’t famous for their flexibility, and some prohibit photographs inside the building. Yes, this rule applies on your wedding day too, so they’ll be zero shots of your first moments as a married couple. Now that you know this is a problem, you can ask the leaders if they will allow cameras inside. Most will say yes, but they may include a few caveats. For example, only the official photographer can take pics and not the guests. This is a compromise which isn’t too much of an issue so agree and warn your friends and family.
Choose A Different Location
Lots of photo albums include the same style of images. This is because of two reasons: photographers share techniques, and destinations are the same. To snap breathtaking pics, you need yours to stand out from the crowd and to do this, a new location is necessary. It depends on your style. Are you a traveler? If you are, see here for ideas. If you’re an adrenaline junkie, then these may be more suitable. Or, perhaps a beach wedding will make you happy. Whatever the destination, try and make it as incredible as possible.
Sanction Action Shots
There will be plenty of pics and vids where everyone is stood in position with their best smile. As nice as this is, it’s not real, and the best photos are genuine. With this in mind, speak to your photographer and tell them that you want lots of action shots throughout the day. In simple terms, this means you need them to take photographs of the guests while they’re not focusing! That way, they’ll capture the atmosphere and the experience of the day. Sometimes, posing can be boring and a little stale.
Involve The Guests
Quality shots come from the professionals most of the time, but that’s not to say your loved ones don’t have their moments. The truth is some guests know how to take a good photo, while others get lucky. Either way, it doesn’t matter who snaps it as long as it looks amazing. Therefore, give everyone at the party a Polaroid or an instant camera and let them go crazy. It takes some effort to sift through them all, yet it’s well worth the effort.
Come on – don’t you want memories which last a lifetime?
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Forget basic! Step up your game and throw your friend a bachelor party he will never forget (and for great reasons, not because he was too drunk to remember it) Read more in this contributed post.
Bachelor parties are, by nature, wild. But if the bachelor’s already a wild guy with high demands then there’s even more pressure on the best man or the bachelor’s group of friends to throw an insane party. Forget strip clubs or bars. That’s the stereotypical formula for a bachelor party, and it’s too basic. You need to step up your game. If you want to leave your party-animal friend speechless then you need to give them a night that’ll almost top their wedding day itself. Here are some crazy ideas to give you some inspiration.
Keep The Destination A Secret
A road trip.
This is the perfect option for the indecisive party planner. If you’re struggling to think of a single thing that’ll make your bachelor buddy happy on their bucks night then why not do everything? You could even surprise them by only telling them this once you get in the car. They’ll ask where you’re going, and you can tell them you’re heading out on the open road. Try to keep each destination secret so as to make it even more special when you see the surprised look on their face as you arrive at different places.
You could even hire a cool car for the trip. Maybe you could get an RV if you’ll want to be able to crash into bed at the end of a long night/morning. Or if you think your buddy will want to look cool as you cruise from destination to destination then you could hire a sports car. Whatever the vehicle, the point is that you and your buddies will head off on a fun journey together. With snacks in the car and great tunes on the radio, you’ll have the makings of a great party before you’ve even reached any destinations.
A boat party.
Why drink beers in a bar or a club when you can drink them on a boat? Your friend will expect you to go big or go home when it comes to organising their last night as a free man. There’s no better way to do that than by hiring a boat for the evening and having a wild time out on the ocean, a lake, or even a marina. You might want to check out local charter options for bucks parties in your area. The cooler the boat, the cooler the evening. You could have a night of playing poker, drinking, or even enjoying entertainment that you hire for the boat (that doesn’t have to involve a stripper, of course).
This is the perfect option for the indecisive party planner. If you’re struggling to think of a single thing that’ll make your bachelor buddy happy on their bucks night then why not do everything? You could even surprise them by only telling them this once you get in the car. They’ll ask where you’re going, and you can tell them you’re heading out on the open road. Try to keep each destination secret so as to make it even more special when you see the surprised look on their face as you arrive at different places.
You could even hire a cool car for the trip. Maybe you could get an RV if you’ll want to be able to crash into bed at the end of a long night/morning. Or if you think your buddy will want to look cool as you cruise from destination to destination then you could hire a sports car. Whatever the vehicle, the point is that you and your buddies will head off on a fun journey together. With snacks in the car and great tunes on the radio, you’ll have the makings of a great party before you’ve even reached any destinations.
A boat party.
Why drink beers in a bar or a club when you can drink them on a boat? Your friend will expect you to go big or go home when it comes to organising their last night as a free man. There’s no better way to do that than by hiring a boat for the evening and having a wild time out on the ocean, a lake, or even a marina. You might want to check out local charter options for bucks parties in your area. The cooler the boat, the cooler the evening. You could have a night of playing poker, drinking, or even enjoying entertainment that you hire for the boat (that doesn’t have to involve a stripper, of course).
A Camping Trip Can Be A Fun Creative Party Spot
Go camping.
Away from the bright lights of the city with its loud bars and clubs, you might think that there’s no way you could throw a wild bachelor party in nature. But the best parties only need a group of close friends (and maybe a few packs of booze). That’s why you should organise a camping trip for your friend’s big night. Forget the smartphones and all other aspects of the modern world. Have a tipsy night in a forest. You could play drinking games around a fire, tell each other funny stories, and just have a great night.
Away from the bright lights of the city with its loud bars and clubs, you might think that there’s no way you could throw a wild bachelor party in nature. But the best parties only need a group of close friends (and maybe a few packs of booze). That’s why you should organise a camping trip for your friend’s big night. Forget the smartphones and all other aspects of the modern world. Have a tipsy night in a forest. You could play drinking games around a fire, tell each other funny stories, and just have a great night.
- Published on
Hidden Trauma of Niceness
Learn about the hidden trauma behind nice guy behaviors in this contributed post
The Hidden Trauma of Niceness
by JR from Austin
As a recovering nice guy spending plenty of time in therapy, research and self-reflection I have noticed that one of the serious causes of my nice guy behavior is complex emotional trauma.
Growing up in my highly controlled home I learned how to be nice through punishment for doing the wrong thing.
Instead of being properly corrected I was punished physically or through shame (i.e.: the doghouse).
Since the home was controlled through a narcissistic matriarchy I was punished when I would stand up for myself or saying anything that challenged my mother's viewpoints.
Niceness was reinforced through coercion.
Because of that I developed CPTSD and have constant flashbacks.
Flashbacks are emotional responses that are triggered by sensitive events that would send a person emotionally back to the time they were being abused.
With proper treatment and acknowledgment of these issues a person can minimize or even completely remove the emotional charge of these flashbacks.
Now where this all ties in with Complex Trauma is that the man has been conditioned from his formative years to associate assertive behaviors with rejection and abuse.
He will cling to his nice guy behavior like a glove since consciously he will think it is the right thing to do.
(A lot of the time nice behavior is the right thing to do)
On a deeper subconscious emotional level though he will cling to it since he has been programmed to believe assertive behavior will lead to abuse and rejection.
When abuse and rejection happen it will often cause him to flashback to when he was a child and was getting abused.
Because the flashbacks are so horrible he will cling to the nice guy behavior to avoid them at all costs.
This will cause the nice guy to cling to cowardly behaviors in situations when assertiveness is absolutely necessary.
Behaving in an attractive manner with women is something that comes to mind here.
Now is this condition hopeless?
Absolutely not.
The more a person has been traumatized the more time and effort they will need to work through the damage.
First and foremost the traumatized person would need to go see a qualified therapist who understands complex trauma as it relates to the person's individual need.
A female therapist who specializes in helping women who have been abused by past lovers would probably not understand the needs of a man who has been emasculated etc.
Second the person would need to be driven to work on the problem on his own as well. He can learn new skills and understand how the bullying tactics were used against him.
Learning that will help him find a new sense of empowerment.
Third, the situation tends to be highly ingrained into the psyche so the person would have to be patient with the process. It can take years for someone with CPTSD to heal.
With this hard work and patience the traumatized nice guy can build a far better life and start winning instead of just breaking even.
By no means is this article comprehensive. It is worth checking out Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. That book gives a very thorough look into CPTSD.
by JR from Austin
As a recovering nice guy spending plenty of time in therapy, research and self-reflection I have noticed that one of the serious causes of my nice guy behavior is complex emotional trauma.
Growing up in my highly controlled home I learned how to be nice through punishment for doing the wrong thing.
Instead of being properly corrected I was punished physically or through shame (i.e.: the doghouse).
Since the home was controlled through a narcissistic matriarchy I was punished when I would stand up for myself or saying anything that challenged my mother's viewpoints.
Niceness was reinforced through coercion.
Because of that I developed CPTSD and have constant flashbacks.
Flashbacks are emotional responses that are triggered by sensitive events that would send a person emotionally back to the time they were being abused.
With proper treatment and acknowledgment of these issues a person can minimize or even completely remove the emotional charge of these flashbacks.
Now where this all ties in with Complex Trauma is that the man has been conditioned from his formative years to associate assertive behaviors with rejection and abuse.
He will cling to his nice guy behavior like a glove since consciously he will think it is the right thing to do.
(A lot of the time nice behavior is the right thing to do)
On a deeper subconscious emotional level though he will cling to it since he has been programmed to believe assertive behavior will lead to abuse and rejection.
When abuse and rejection happen it will often cause him to flashback to when he was a child and was getting abused.
Because the flashbacks are so horrible he will cling to the nice guy behavior to avoid them at all costs.
This will cause the nice guy to cling to cowardly behaviors in situations when assertiveness is absolutely necessary.
Behaving in an attractive manner with women is something that comes to mind here.
Now is this condition hopeless?
Absolutely not.
The more a person has been traumatized the more time and effort they will need to work through the damage.
First and foremost the traumatized person would need to go see a qualified therapist who understands complex trauma as it relates to the person's individual need.
A female therapist who specializes in helping women who have been abused by past lovers would probably not understand the needs of a man who has been emasculated etc.
Second the person would need to be driven to work on the problem on his own as well. He can learn new skills and understand how the bullying tactics were used against him.
Learning that will help him find a new sense of empowerment.
Third, the situation tends to be highly ingrained into the psyche so the person would have to be patient with the process. It can take years for someone with CPTSD to heal.
With this hard work and patience the traumatized nice guy can build a far better life and start winning instead of just breaking even.
By no means is this article comprehensive. It is worth checking out Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. That book gives a very thorough look into CPTSD.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE
If you are a Single Nice Guy and you want
some coaching to learn how to be Assertive for Dating,
Sign up for Single No More Coaching Right Now!
COACHING FOR NICE GUYS
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Fights don't mean the whole marriage has to crumble. This contributed post examines whether there are really any insurmountable hurdles in a marriage.
Every couple fights. Most couples have at least one or two (if not more) fights that go deep and shake your confidence in a relationship. If you’re married, these cracks can be even scarier. But that doesn’t mean you have to let the whole thing crumble. Here, we’re going to look at disagreements, wrongdoings, and fights, and whether there really are any insurmountable hurdles in a marriage.
Fights Don't Mean The Whole Marriage Has To Crumble
Differences and similarities
One of the biggest issues that tend to creep up in a marriage over time is when you start to notice that not all of your plans are the same as your partner’s. The practicalities of future life, employment, where you live, children, and the core principles that make you who you are aren’t easy to discover all at once. You have to make an effort to talk about the future with your partner. Talk about specific plans, greatest desires, ambitions, and more at length. Mishaps and small fights can be nothing but pebbles on the road to growing into a better understanding and respect of one another. However, if you don’t share a vision of the future that at least meets in the middle, tension is only likely to increase as time goes on.
Get a sense of perspective
Sometimes you can see the forest for the trees. The same can be said of a marriage. You cannot be impartial, and it is nothing more than ego to believe that you can. One of the biggest benefits of marriage counseling is the chance to involve someone who doesn’t have an emotional investment in the relationship. The impartiality and lower risk of bias can help you and your spouse view things with a little more distance from a new perspective. It can help you divorce yourself from the gut reactions that turn disagreements into fights and wrong-doings into vendettas.
Listen without blame
Social relationships involve a lot of give and take. We are naturally inclined to “keep tally”, whether it’s seeing who has the upper hand, who owes what, or to assert a moral high ground. In marriages, this is extremely dangerous. Even when you have been wronged, if you want to repair the relationship, you have to listen to your partner’s concerns. Even if they sound like excuses, even if it’s for a transgression as deep as cheating, communication is crucial. You have to listen, to share your own thoughts, and repeat. In time, with enough honesty on both sides, the conceits start to fall away, and you can address the fears and insecurities that often lie at the heart of the original transgression.
Though it may be easier than ever to back out of it, your marriage commitment represents more than just a relationship with another human being. It represents your ability to commit, period. Commitment involves sacrifice and hardship, not just agreeing to a long-term status quo. There are some insurmountable hurdles in marriages, that can’t be denied. But you have to try to surmount them before you can make that judgment in good faith.
One of the biggest issues that tend to creep up in a marriage over time is when you start to notice that not all of your plans are the same as your partner’s. The practicalities of future life, employment, where you live, children, and the core principles that make you who you are aren’t easy to discover all at once. You have to make an effort to talk about the future with your partner. Talk about specific plans, greatest desires, ambitions, and more at length. Mishaps and small fights can be nothing but pebbles on the road to growing into a better understanding and respect of one another. However, if you don’t share a vision of the future that at least meets in the middle, tension is only likely to increase as time goes on.
Get a sense of perspective
Sometimes you can see the forest for the trees. The same can be said of a marriage. You cannot be impartial, and it is nothing more than ego to believe that you can. One of the biggest benefits of marriage counseling is the chance to involve someone who doesn’t have an emotional investment in the relationship. The impartiality and lower risk of bias can help you and your spouse view things with a little more distance from a new perspective. It can help you divorce yourself from the gut reactions that turn disagreements into fights and wrong-doings into vendettas.
Listen without blame
Social relationships involve a lot of give and take. We are naturally inclined to “keep tally”, whether it’s seeing who has the upper hand, who owes what, or to assert a moral high ground. In marriages, this is extremely dangerous. Even when you have been wronged, if you want to repair the relationship, you have to listen to your partner’s concerns. Even if they sound like excuses, even if it’s for a transgression as deep as cheating, communication is crucial. You have to listen, to share your own thoughts, and repeat. In time, with enough honesty on both sides, the conceits start to fall away, and you can address the fears and insecurities that often lie at the heart of the original transgression.
Though it may be easier than ever to back out of it, your marriage commitment represents more than just a relationship with another human being. It represents your ability to commit, period. Commitment involves sacrifice and hardship, not just agreeing to a long-term status quo. There are some insurmountable hurdles in marriages, that can’t be denied. But you have to try to surmount them before you can make that judgment in good faith.
- Published on
Oliver Clearwater was out of shape, still a virgin and hit rock bottom when his ex left him. He made a decision to get his ex back, lose his virginity and change his life to become irresistible to women.
He did it.
This is his story.
He did it.
This is his story.
From Virgin To Married Man
The 5 Year Story of Oliver Clearwater:
From Virgin To Married Man
**Dear Friends,
Every so often I get the most wonderful review of how my work has changed the life of someone. Here is one of those stories. Oliver was an adult male virgin who got dumped by his girlfriend and he wanted her back. He studied with me and my materials. He got her back, got closure, got free of her, and then continued to manage dating multiple women until finding the one that he wanted to build a future together. The story of a man that turned his entire life around.
Enjoy!
-Frank
May 31, (circa. 5 Years Ago)
Frank, just want to say, I'm reading through your book From Loser To Seducer, and really getting a lot from it.
I'm 25. I'm overweight but not out of shape and on my way to really getting into shape.
My girlfriend broke up with me and she started dating our mutual friend.
Just want to say that I'm working on myself and getting out their and finding some real women and live that same dream life.
Thank you for your great book.
July 19, (circa. 5 Years Ago)
Frank, wanted to say, since going through your book From Loser to Seducer and starting to get everything in order.
I've dropped 20 pounds, and this week I had 3 dates with 3 different women, and have had about 7 or 8 dates in all with different women (since the end of May) (a few second dates as well).
I've gotten rid of my approach anxiety and I've been approaching women daily or any time I see someone interesting.
Thanks for the great book!
The Autobiography of Frank
August 30, (circa. 5 Years Ago)
Frank, My ex that broke up with me, has quite suddenly come back into my life in a very real way.
Since then, I've changed, when I was with her.
Then, I was weak, submissive, scared, and needy.
Now, I've dated up to 4 women at once, I went from virgin to having slept with 3 women.
I've gotten my career, my beliefs, and everything else in order.
Is considering pursuing a relationship with an ex a horrible idea when you're newer, better, and more ready?
Got a date tonight with a different woman. But I'll definitely set up a coaching appointment.
Frank, My ex that broke up with me, has quite suddenly come back into my life in a very real way.
Since then, I've changed, when I was with her.
Then, I was weak, submissive, scared, and needy.
Now, I've dated up to 4 women at once, I went from virgin to having slept with 3 women.
I've gotten my career, my beliefs, and everything else in order.
Is considering pursuing a relationship with an ex a horrible idea when you're newer, better, and more ready?
Got a date tonight with a different woman. But I'll definitely set up a coaching appointment.
Imagine life after coaching
September 3, (circa. 5 Years Ago)
I read through all your books again Frank. I have:
Last night while I was with the ex I just got back with, as I noticed her tests, and I found myself like you did when you were with your ex, realized I was slipping out of state, so:
And instead of her immediately saying,
"we should stop fooling around!",
she instead asked me, "What do you want to do?"
Since I knew at that moment I wasn't in state and I needed to keep control, I said, "I'll take responsibility, and I'll keep us from hurting each other."
She leaned in to kiss me and I didn't kiss her.
I said, "We need to know who we are and what we want and what we are before we pursue anything."
I left and told her I'd talk to her later.
She has since sent me a few texts that I haven't responded to, as I told her I wasn't going to be reachable when I left.
THANK YOU FRANK FOR YOUR EXCELLENT WORK.
Your work has taken me further with women in 3 months than 3 years of PUA (pick up artist/seduction) material.
I'm dating 4 women now INCLUDING my ex, who when she heard that I was dating two women, called it "wrong",
Now she's dating me as well!!!!
The first 5 months of our relationship, before she left me for another guy, she even wouldn't label it as "dating" (because she did not like me enough).
And now, JUST 4 DAYS back together, fulfilling her emotional needs and she's asking me what's going to happen 6 weeks, 3 months, or even next year down the road!!!
(SHE IS INTO ME NOW!)
Women that at once I didn't think would look at me, now interact with me and flirt with me.
I'm a Man, That's My Job.
Thank you FRANK! You rock!
I read through all your books again Frank. I have:
- From Loser To Seducer,
- Everything Out of Her Mouth Is A Test, and
- I'm A Man, That's My Job Coaching Workbook for Men.
Last night while I was with the ex I just got back with, as I noticed her tests, and I found myself like you did when you were with your ex, realized I was slipping out of state, so:
- I interrupted the behavior pattern,
- I interrupted her tests, and
- took control through distance by letting her know that I'll make decisions that are best for us.
And instead of her immediately saying,
"we should stop fooling around!",
she instead asked me, "What do you want to do?"
Since I knew at that moment I wasn't in state and I needed to keep control, I said, "I'll take responsibility, and I'll keep us from hurting each other."
She leaned in to kiss me and I didn't kiss her.
I said, "We need to know who we are and what we want and what we are before we pursue anything."
I left and told her I'd talk to her later.
She has since sent me a few texts that I haven't responded to, as I told her I wasn't going to be reachable when I left.
THANK YOU FRANK FOR YOUR EXCELLENT WORK.
Your work has taken me further with women in 3 months than 3 years of PUA (pick up artist/seduction) material.
I'm dating 4 women now INCLUDING my ex, who when she heard that I was dating two women, called it "wrong",
Now she's dating me as well!!!!
The first 5 months of our relationship, before she left me for another guy, she even wouldn't label it as "dating" (because she did not like me enough).
And now, JUST 4 DAYS back together, fulfilling her emotional needs and she's asking me what's going to happen 6 weeks, 3 months, or even next year down the road!!!
(SHE IS INTO ME NOW!)
Women that at once I didn't think would look at me, now interact with me and flirt with me.
I'm a Man, That's My Job.
Thank you FRANK! You rock!
September 5, (circa. 5 Years Ago)
Frank, after getting back with my ex, experiencing her, seeing her, I came to realize that we just will never work.
It's so fulfilling to know that she just doesn't feel the same way I feel about her. I thought maybe there was something, but, I'm just her emotional cookie-man, and she knows that I know her body.
I Completely Found Peace!
I know who I am as a man.
I know what I have to offer a woman.
And I had hoped she realized that what I had to offer is what she wanted. It's not. She's still who she is, but I'm not who I was.
It feels wonderful to know that I can walk away and I have all these other options and I can always get more.
I have a journal as per your coaching; I've been writing all this down day by day.
But thank you Frank.
December 8, (circa. 5 Years Ago)
Just bought your From Friends to Lovers audio and the Emotional Needs 101 Set, and these two programs are absolutely amazing.
You break it down in a way that shows me every mistake I've ever made with women and what were seemingly confusing reactions, now appear sensible.
Just bought your From Friends to Lovers audio and the Emotional Needs 101 Set, and these two programs are absolutely amazing.
You break it down in a way that shows me every mistake I've ever made with women and what were seemingly confusing reactions, now appear sensible.
From Friends To Lovers
TODAY
Dear Frank, If you look back at our talk, the last time I reached out to you for help was 5 years ago, having just gotten your From Friends To Lovers program.
Today, I've been married for a year to the most supporting, beautiful, and wonderful woman.
I still follow the Emotional Needs of Women, and, I must say, it's kept us from fighting, or arguing, which, we see our good friends who have journeyed into marriage during daily.
Before I met her four years ago, I--like your book--From Loser to Seducer, did my binge, where in an eight month period, I "met" a lot of women, going from a 25 year old with little experience to an incredibly experienced young man.
Including, getting back with and hooking up with the woman that had left and sent me on my Quintessential Journey to begin with.
You are an inspiration and your work is amazing.
I don't know where I would be today with relationships, had I not found your material.
Thanks a million.
I'll be making a donation to your son's education fund when I get paid next week.
-Review by Oliver Clearwater,
Massachusetts, United States
NOW, YOU HAVE A CHOICE!
If you made it this far reading Oliver's story,
you have a choice to make.
You can either sit there feeling sorry for yourself
Or you can BE LIKE OLIVIER
and LIKE HUNDREDS OF OTHER MEN
WHO LIKE YOU WANT:
-To Get Back Your Ex
-To Get The Girl
-To be Irresistible to a lots of Women Lovers
-To Find the One that you Want to Marry and Get Her To Say Yes
SET UP A COACHING SESSION NOW
1. Contact Frank to set an appointment time
by phone (1-514-680-3278) or email (frank@franktalks.com)
2. Once you set an appointment time, pay the Coaching fee to secure your spot via Payal or E-Interac to frank@franktalks.com
3. If you wish, e-mail Frank as much information about the dating situation you want a help with, otherwise, just write down everything you want to say to Frank prior to your session to make the most of your time
4. Have your appointment with Frank over the phone or over Skype and find out what you did right, what you did wrong and what to do next
5. After your session, follow through on the plan of action you will create with Frank,
and send Frank email updates of your progress
REACH OUT TO FRANK RIGHT NOW!
1. Contact Frank to set an appointment time
by phone (1-514-680-3278) or email (frank@franktalks.com)
2. Once you set an appointment time, pay the Coaching fee to secure your spot via Payal or E-Interac to frank@franktalks.com
3. If you wish, e-mail Frank as much information about the dating situation you want a help with, otherwise, just write down everything you want to say to Frank prior to your session to make the most of your time
4. Have your appointment with Frank over the phone or over Skype and find out what you did right, what you did wrong and what to do next
5. After your session, follow through on the plan of action you will create with Frank,
and send Frank email updates of your progress
REACH OUT TO FRANK RIGHT NOW!
- Published on
Tips for Dating Criteria Checklists
Tips for Your Dating Criteria Checklist
by Frank Kermit
When coaching someone that wants to STOP BEING SINGLE, it is important to examine that person's dating criteria. Sometimes, the reason that someone is forever stuck being single is the criteria itself.
Here are some tips to make sure that your criteria is not holding you back:
Here are some tips to make sure that your criteria is not holding you back:
1-Criteria that is Firm
If you are firm in your criteria that you will not waiver on, then right or wrong, you should be explicit in expressing your criteria.
This means if you are online dating, make sure your criteria is in your online dating profile.
If you are discussing setting up a first date, express your criteria before you actually meet, so that you do not waste your time, or the time of the other person.
Note: You will always have to screen and filter when dating. Even if you make your criteria clear, it does not always stop people from wanting you to give them a chance.
1-Criteria that is Firm
If you are firm in your criteria that you will not waiver on, then right or wrong, you should be explicit in expressing your criteria.
This means if you are online dating, make sure your criteria is in your online dating profile.
If you are discussing setting up a first date, express your criteria before you actually meet, so that you do not waste your time, or the time of the other person.
Note: You will always have to screen and filter when dating. Even if you make your criteria clear, it does not always stop people from wanting you to give them a chance.
2-Is the Criteria Relevant?
Next would be to explore if your criteria is actually relevant.
Is it a matter of initial attraction? Lust?
Is it relevant to a long term life plan?
To help you figure out if your criteria is actually relevant; ask the question:
Under what circumstances would that criteria not be important (if any)?
If the criteria would not matter under a number of circumstances, then it is not a relevant criteria.
3-Is the Criteria Counter-Productive?
Would her having such criteria turn off your potential target audience? Some people will be offended to your "fetish".
For example, the members of the amputee community want relationships like any other people, but some resent being with a partner that has an amputee fetish.
Would your criteria potentially turn off the very people that embody that criteria? Then you need to be ready to face a little more rejection in the process of dating until you find someone that appreciates your interests.
4-Is the Criteria Hypocritical?
Do you get resentful if you get rejected when someone uses the same kind of criteria against you?
If so, you need to rethink your criteria, because being a hypocrite can get in the way of your finding love when dating.
For example, if you reject someone because they make less money than you, would you be upset if someone rejects you because you make less money than them?
If you reject someone for their body type, would you be upset if someone rejected you because of your body type?
If so, the best way to attract more open minded folks is to be more open minded. (You would be amazed how offended some people get in coaching when confronted about their hypocrisy)
5-Is the Criteria Reciprocal?
Just because you have an ideal partner in mind, that does not mean that the person you seek, is seeking you.
One of the hardest questions a coaching client must face, is if you are "worthy" of the affection of the person you are seeking.
So, ask yourself if your ideal partner would be attracted to you. If the answer is "No", then it may be time to re-evaluate your goals in the next coaching session.
6-Is Your Criteria Demographic Realistic?
Based, on your collective criteria, is there enough of a demographic for you to actually find someone to be with?
When you put all your criteria together, does the composite person you are seeking even exist? Is there a large enough pool of candidates for you to date from? If not, get real. Get very real, very fast, or the only thing that you will guarantee is that you will continue to be single.
Lets use a fun example:
Let's say you have the criteria that you will ONLY date:
-a working architect
-currently living in your small town (you refuse to move and you refuse to engage in a long distance relationship)
and then we do analysis of that demographic and find out:
-there are only 3 architects in your small town,
-one is retired (so not currently working)
-one is married (not available)
-one is of a sexual orientation that would not be attracted to you
then your criteria for what is out there would not be realistic, and we can predict that you will continue to be single
7-Is Your Criteria Just An Excuse?
And finally is this criteria actually a means to make it impossible for you to find someone?
Some people have fears of intimacy that mask themselves as ridiculous criteria.
Could this be your case here?
It is easier to be thought of as "too picky" instead of "incapable of a relationship."
When your criteria list is more vast than your list of skills that represent your ability to attract a partner, that is often a sign of some kind of fear of intimacy.
It could be a fear of emotional intimacy, being vulnerable, a fear of physical sex, or even the fear of the responsibility that comes with getting romantically involved with others.
If you are using your criteria as a means to keep people away, then definitely sign up for an hour of Coaching to see what Frank can do for you.
Sign Up for an Hour of Coaching to see what can be done for you.
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If you are not sure what wedding flowers you will need, read this contributed post on wedding flowers 101 to help you make the best choices for your wedding.
Wedding flowers are an important part of your wedding day. Not only do they help to add color and fragrance to the day, but they can be a great way to add class and elegance to your wedding. Apart from ordering the occasional bouquet, you might not have much experience of dealing with flowers. But luckily for you, you’ll find everything you need to know about your wedding flowers right here.
Flowers Can Add Class And Elegance To Your Wedding
Take a look at our wedding flowers 101 to help you nail your wedding day florals.
Get a feel for what you like
With so much choice out there, it can be hard to decide what to go for in terms of wedding flowers. It’s a good idea to start with no preconceptions and simply start looking at styles. Create some Pinterest boards and start adding designs that suit your tastes - you’ll soon see patterns emerging. Meanwhile, check out bridal magazine and websites for elegant flower ideas that will give you further inspiration.
Find the right florist
Finding the right florist can take some time, especially if you have specific ideas on how you’d like your flowers to be. As a creative industry, you’ll find that many of your local florists will have social media accounts and websites that show off their style - helping you see if it can reflect more of your own tastes. Meet with several florists and get some quotes to make sure you get the best value for money.
Make a checklist
There is more to wedding flowers than you might have initially realized, and while you can go all-out with your flowers, there are some basics that you need to include. A wedding flower checklist includes a bouquet for the bride and bridesmaids, buttonholes for the groom, flowers for the ceremony and reception decor, centerpieces and more. Make sure you include everything you need, and then set a budget for everything. You might find that some elements are more important to you than others, so you might want to consider a mix of real and artificial flowers to keep costs down.
Add floral details to other parts of your day
Florals are a simple way to add elegance to your wedding day, and they can extend beyond the flowers themselves. Bridesmaids dresses with floral prints and floral accessories like flower crowns are particularly popular at the moment and look great when using your own color scheme. A floral tie for the groom and ushers can also look great with the right colors, adding something a little bit different to a standard, plain tie. Remember to include floral details on your invites to so that guests can get a glimpse of your wedding theme early on.
Now that the flowers are taken care of, what’s next on your wedding planning list? Photography? Make sure you get the right photos to capture your special day with these great tips for hiring a wedding photographer. Make wedding planning simple by tackling one task at a time to help make planning your big day stress-free and fun.
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Are you looking to get back with your ex? Consider these 5 points in this contributed post before you take that first step towards getting your ex back.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Some people will claim that there’s never a good reason to get back with your ex. However, there are many couples out there that gone through explosive breakups and got back together again only to grow stronger because of it. Getting back with an ex isn’t always a good decision – you could end up in the exact same situation if you’re not careful about it. Here are the questions you should ask yourself before returning into a relationship with an ex.
Have you given it time?
Many couples blow their second chance by getting together too quickly after breaking up. Straight after a breakup there are likely to be raw feelings of anger, sadness and even jealousy that could cause you to act irrationally. Giving yourself time apart allows you both to assess what it is you really want. If you still miss each other after several months, there’s clearly still a connection and giving it another go could be a good decision.
Have you/can you fix the reason you both broke up?
Every breakup happens for a reason – sometimes it can be a multitude of reasons. Fixing the problem that caused you to break up could be vital if you want to make another go at it. This could involve making improvements to yourself such as quitting a bad habit or making a gesture that proves you’ve changed – you can look at this guide for more information on how to improve yourself and win back your ex. If you can’t fix the problem because it involves making too big a sacrifice, getting back together might not be such a good idea.
Are you both miserable without one another?
This is something you’re unlikely to truly know without talking to one another. You may find that your ex has a new partner or has been putting their passion into achieving goals that they weren’t able to achieve with you – this could be a sign that they’ve happy without you, or it may just be a distraction. If you can’t talk to them yourself, try talking to their friends and see what information you can gather.
Do you have similar goals?
On the topic of goals, it’s important that you both have a few shared aspirations. If one of you wants to move away or have children and the other doesn’t, going back into the relationship may be unwise as one of you won’t be able to achieve your goal. In some cases, you may be able to make compromises. There may be other instances in which one of you has reconsidered their goals. Whatever the case, you shouldn’t give up your dreams for their sake.
Are you willing to take things slowly?
You can’t expect to pick up your relationship as you left off – things will have changed that will need to be addressed. Taking things slowly might allow you to rediscover the feeling of falling in love with one another again. This means going on dates and not seeing each other every day until you both feel comfortable with one another again.
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Relationships are not a race! Read this contributed post to see if you doing things that might mean you are rushing yours.
When you think you’ve found the right person for your heart, your soulmate, it seems foolish to waste any more time. Indeed, when you are sure in your heart that you love your partner, you know that you need to act fast to move your relationship to the next level. Right? Well, in reality, you want to be cautious. Going too fast could be damaging for your couple. Of course, it’s a good thing to be enthusiastic about your relationship. But you need to make sure that you’re not rushing things faster than they should go. Both partners need time to establish themselves in a relationship, so that if you choose to speed up things too abruptly, your partner might feel like you’re stepping on their toes. While there’s no saying how fast is too fast, there are certain signs that can help you to adjust your pace to your partner’s.
Have A Serious Conversation About Your Future Before You Get Engaged
Meeting is not the same than getting to know someone
Love at first sight is an aberration. Of course, you might meet someone you find interesting, but it’s impossible to know them and appreciate them for who they are when you’ve just met. The same argument is valid for online dating tools, such as Grindr for PC and Mac. Take the time to get to know someone before you allow yourself to think you’re in love. The process of understanding someone takes time and effort, but it is worth every second of it. As you do, you can get to grow your feelings for each other and create new memories. In short, if you fall in love at first sight, you are already going to fast!
How long before you should pop the question?
Relationships take work all the time. While it doesn’t mean it’s hard work, it would also be a mistake to take your couple for granted. But as you work to make your couple grow, you might come to realize that you want the spend the rest of your life with that person. You want the house, the children and the pet that goes with it. You are ready for the full package. There is no right or wrong as to when you should pop the question, but you need to make sure your partner is on the same page. In other words, it doesn’t help to plan an engagement proposal if you haven’t had a serious conversation about your future first.
Are you actually going to hurt yourself?
Are you so exciting about your relationship that you may not notice that you’re acting a little over the top? For instance, if you find yourself celebrating weekly anniversaries, then you might put your partner in an awkward position. OTT romantic gestures can be risky at the beginning of your relationship, especially as it can be used as a manipulation tool by an unscrupulous partner. Additionally, if your relationship isolates you from your circle of friends and relatives, it’s time to slow down and try to make it work in the real world.
In conclusion, the secret to a happy relationship is to go steady instead of fast. Taking the time to know and understand each other without creating overly romantic settings from Day One is the secret of making it work in the long term.
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Happy Canada Day!
HAPPY CANADA DAY
TO ALL MY CANADIAN CLIENTS!
Here is a little something to make you laugh, and part of my contribution to Canadian Culture:
Frank participates in the great Canadian game of Bum Darts!
ENJOY!
