- Published on
This is a contributed post.
Marriage Contract https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2015/02/01/07/58/divorce-619195_960_720.jpg
Marriage is never easy. After the honeymoon period ends, it can feel like a battlefield. Keeping the romance alive is hard. Having to consider someone else’s feelings at every turn can be a real challenge. For the most part, that challenge will be worthwhile. Being so connected to someone can be a real reward if you put the effort in to make it work. There comes a time, though, when that effort is too much. All marriages need work, but sometimes it can feel as though the work has replaced the good times. At this point, it might be necessary to say goodbye. Here are some signs that things have gone too far.
RESENTMENT
If you start resenting each other, it can be hard to get back to a good place. Resentment can kill the best relationship. That resentment can take on many different forms. It may be that you blame your partner for holding you back in life, or maybe you just resent the way they act. You may feel as though your partner has stolen an important part of yourself. Maybe you just resent the fact that you do all the giving in the relationship. Whatever the cause is, there’s no room for a destructive emotion like resentment in a marriage. As soon as resentment creeps in, the blame game will soon follow. These types of emotion can kill any love between you. Divorce is not an easy choice to come to. If resentment has replaced any feelings of love, it may be the only option left.
DISTANCE
The distance between you and your partner is about more than just physical space. It’s possible to live in the same house as someone, and still feel far from them. Distance can grow in any relationship, and it doesn’t have to mean the end. The larger the gap, the harder it will be to come back from it. A growing distance between the two of you may mean that you are going in opposite directions. If you feel a gap growing, it’s worth sitting your partner down and asking how they feel about it. Communication is a great way to bridge gaps, and if you both agree to make more effort, you may be able to save your love. If the conversation ends in another argument, or nothing seems resolved, it may be time to call it a day. Do you and your partner tell each other about your days? Do you still maintain a physical intimacy? If you are blocking each other out, it may be a sign that distance is growing between you.
RESENTMENT
If you start resenting each other, it can be hard to get back to a good place. Resentment can kill the best relationship. That resentment can take on many different forms. It may be that you blame your partner for holding you back in life, or maybe you just resent the way they act. You may feel as though your partner has stolen an important part of yourself. Maybe you just resent the fact that you do all the giving in the relationship. Whatever the cause is, there’s no room for a destructive emotion like resentment in a marriage. As soon as resentment creeps in, the blame game will soon follow. These types of emotion can kill any love between you. Divorce is not an easy choice to come to. If resentment has replaced any feelings of love, it may be the only option left.
DISTANCE
The distance between you and your partner is about more than just physical space. It’s possible to live in the same house as someone, and still feel far from them. Distance can grow in any relationship, and it doesn’t have to mean the end. The larger the gap, the harder it will be to come back from it. A growing distance between the two of you may mean that you are going in opposite directions. If you feel a gap growing, it’s worth sitting your partner down and asking how they feel about it. Communication is a great way to bridge gaps, and if you both agree to make more effort, you may be able to save your love. If the conversation ends in another argument, or nothing seems resolved, it may be time to call it a day. Do you and your partner tell each other about your days? Do you still maintain a physical intimacy? If you are blocking each other out, it may be a sign that distance is growing between you.
resentment https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/af/Unhappy_couple.jpg
ARGUMENTS
Arguments happen in any relationship. Love is never a smooth road, and sometimes you’re going to annoy each other. A sign that arguments have gone too far is when they happen on a regular basis. Do you snap at each other every time you speak? Do you stay angry at each other for days? These could be signs that things have gone too far.
Arguments happen in any relationship. Love is never a smooth road, and sometimes you’re going to annoy each other. A sign that arguments have gone too far is when they happen on a regular basis. Do you snap at each other every time you speak? Do you stay angry at each other for days? These could be signs that things have gone too far.
- Published on
Stop Blaming The World That You Are Single
Sad Mistakes Singles Make # 1:
Being too Picky in Dating
By Frank Kermit
Being Too Picky Gets Too Sticky
It saddens me greatly when singles self sabotage by being too picky and let their own shallowness and insecurities get in the way. I find this happens even when someone else makes it clear that there is a mutual interest. There are single people, who will resist taking action even when presented with their chance to actually have a date with someone who is interested in him or her, as much as he or she is interested back.
Recent examples of this are the results from the very first Speed Dating Montreal event I hosted. Everyone comes in with an open mind...at least those who make it past the door. I was greeted by the number of people who came right up to the door, only to get cold feet and panic, and rush out again, after nothing more than a quick glimpse of the amount of other attendees.
There were those that went through the registration process and left before the event actually began including excuses such as "not enough people", and "not enough in my age range". One person who left early sat in his car just outside the event telling late comers he was leaving as there were not enough people in there, perhaps attempting to discourage more adventurous singles from doing what he was too nervous to do? Not sure.
However, the wonderful irony of this situation? Within 12 minutes of all those people leaving including the car-town crier who finally sped off, about 10 more people came in and helped to balance out the numbers of attendees. And once the event was over, I noted a couple of people saying they would have liked to choose a particular person for a match up, but were reluctant to do so, for a reason they could not articulate.
Finally, when the matches were made, and I contacted the participants, there were at least two that hemmed-and-hawed saying they could not actually go on a date with that person (despite the fact they both agreed to be matched up the night before and even wrote down their interest to confirm it) because they just worried that it would not work out anyways.
People get in their own way for one reason. People have a fear of intimacy.
When someone is so extremely picky that they get into very solitary situations there is a deeper issue at work.
A fear of intimacy is a very sticky substance to douse ones-self in. Once you start along this slippery slope of fear-glue it just gets harder and harder to crack the outer shell that crusts over you, like a cocoon of solitude, that forbids any meaningful connections to penetrate in.
There is no honor is being too picky when you are single and lonely. There is no sense in rejecting people interested in dating you because you simply "are not into them". If every person that you are so "into", is not "into" you, that is not you having high standards. That is you finally having an acceptable excuse not to put yourself out on the dating market. It is easier to blame everyone else for not being good enough, when you know the truth is that you just want to reject him or her, before they reject you first.
No one likes being rejected. No one likes being hurt. However, the joys associated with being connected with others comes with risks, and if you are not open to the hurt that comes with taking risks, you will also never get to immerse yourself in the passion of a fruitful loving relationship.
So before you disqualify someone for being too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too poor, (funny that no one has ever told me that they are rejecting someone for being too rich) or for any other reason that you can think up on the spot, consider this reality check: If you were already a super-duper prize, then you would not single and lonely. Sorry for the harsh truth, but reality will always slap you when you delude yourself long enough. Better you hear it from me than have life slap you first.
Then there are those people that do reverse-pickiness. They self-reject so that they do not have to even try to date people. This is where a person will tarnish their own value and claim that no one would want to date them (even if someone has made the opposite intention clear). Instead of saying that the person he likes is too short, he claims she's too tall. Instead of saying that the person she likes is too young, she claims she is too old.
We all have standards. That is OK. But when your standards strand you alone, then your standards, are not standards...they are your enabling beliefs that keep you alone.
There is a difference between being single and being alone. Being single is a relationship status, whereas being alone is usually rooted in fear. Which do you want to be? It is up to you to set the example in your life. If you have something you believe works against you in relationships that you cannot nor will not change, then be the educator about how someone needs to feel comfortable with someone like you.
The best way to have others accept you, for both your good points and your faults, is to lead by example and accept yourself.
So Stop Blaming hook up culture, new technologies, the people who rejected you, the people you CHOSE to date, and society. You are single because of YOU. Wake up and become a commitment-worthy dating candidate if you want a serious commitment. ACT like a person that is worth a serious commitment. Just like any other goal in life, it is about YOU. Sign up for Coaching Now.
Frank Kermit
Being too Picky in Dating
By Frank Kermit
Being Too Picky Gets Too Sticky
It saddens me greatly when singles self sabotage by being too picky and let their own shallowness and insecurities get in the way. I find this happens even when someone else makes it clear that there is a mutual interest. There are single people, who will resist taking action even when presented with their chance to actually have a date with someone who is interested in him or her, as much as he or she is interested back.
Recent examples of this are the results from the very first Speed Dating Montreal event I hosted. Everyone comes in with an open mind...at least those who make it past the door. I was greeted by the number of people who came right up to the door, only to get cold feet and panic, and rush out again, after nothing more than a quick glimpse of the amount of other attendees.
There were those that went through the registration process and left before the event actually began including excuses such as "not enough people", and "not enough in my age range". One person who left early sat in his car just outside the event telling late comers he was leaving as there were not enough people in there, perhaps attempting to discourage more adventurous singles from doing what he was too nervous to do? Not sure.
However, the wonderful irony of this situation? Within 12 minutes of all those people leaving including the car-town crier who finally sped off, about 10 more people came in and helped to balance out the numbers of attendees. And once the event was over, I noted a couple of people saying they would have liked to choose a particular person for a match up, but were reluctant to do so, for a reason they could not articulate.
Finally, when the matches were made, and I contacted the participants, there were at least two that hemmed-and-hawed saying they could not actually go on a date with that person (despite the fact they both agreed to be matched up the night before and even wrote down their interest to confirm it) because they just worried that it would not work out anyways.
People get in their own way for one reason. People have a fear of intimacy.
When someone is so extremely picky that they get into very solitary situations there is a deeper issue at work.
A fear of intimacy is a very sticky substance to douse ones-self in. Once you start along this slippery slope of fear-glue it just gets harder and harder to crack the outer shell that crusts over you, like a cocoon of solitude, that forbids any meaningful connections to penetrate in.
There is no honor is being too picky when you are single and lonely. There is no sense in rejecting people interested in dating you because you simply "are not into them". If every person that you are so "into", is not "into" you, that is not you having high standards. That is you finally having an acceptable excuse not to put yourself out on the dating market. It is easier to blame everyone else for not being good enough, when you know the truth is that you just want to reject him or her, before they reject you first.
No one likes being rejected. No one likes being hurt. However, the joys associated with being connected with others comes with risks, and if you are not open to the hurt that comes with taking risks, you will also never get to immerse yourself in the passion of a fruitful loving relationship.
So before you disqualify someone for being too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too poor, (funny that no one has ever told me that they are rejecting someone for being too rich) or for any other reason that you can think up on the spot, consider this reality check: If you were already a super-duper prize, then you would not single and lonely. Sorry for the harsh truth, but reality will always slap you when you delude yourself long enough. Better you hear it from me than have life slap you first.
Then there are those people that do reverse-pickiness. They self-reject so that they do not have to even try to date people. This is where a person will tarnish their own value and claim that no one would want to date them (even if someone has made the opposite intention clear). Instead of saying that the person he likes is too short, he claims she's too tall. Instead of saying that the person she likes is too young, she claims she is too old.
We all have standards. That is OK. But when your standards strand you alone, then your standards, are not standards...they are your enabling beliefs that keep you alone.
There is a difference between being single and being alone. Being single is a relationship status, whereas being alone is usually rooted in fear. Which do you want to be? It is up to you to set the example in your life. If you have something you believe works against you in relationships that you cannot nor will not change, then be the educator about how someone needs to feel comfortable with someone like you.
The best way to have others accept you, for both your good points and your faults, is to lead by example and accept yourself.
So Stop Blaming hook up culture, new technologies, the people who rejected you, the people you CHOSE to date, and society. You are single because of YOU. Wake up and become a commitment-worthy dating candidate if you want a serious commitment. ACT like a person that is worth a serious commitment. Just like any other goal in life, it is about YOU. Sign up for Coaching Now.
Frank Kermit
- Published on
Politics, Political Elections and Dating
Political Elections and Dating
By Frank Kermit
Elections — a time when choices are made, protests have audience, and friendships destroyed (we hope temporarily) over loyalties to political stances.
For some it is a time to face the realities of government policies that may affect the quality of your life (depending on the stage of life you are at) and for others it is a time to hide your head in the sand when the campaigns to make your vote count come knocking.
The one question that comes up in my practice during this period is what to do when you are dating someone that had different political views, or supports a different political party.
As always, the answer is, it depends.
Even the best of couples may disagree on topics that could be more important than not.
However, although common interests and aligned thinking are necessary for long term relationship success, that does not automatically mean that a couple must agree on everything. That type of picture-perfect partnering simply is neither realistic nor necessary.
The first question is what the nature of your relationship is to begin with. If you are involved casually or dating someone in a manner where you are enjoying mutual companionship, but the desire to have a future together is beyond the scope of the couple in question, then voting for different parties is a moot topic.
If you are at a stage of your life where you are past the point of seeking a life partner to have children with, and aren’t even looking for a live-in partner, then those relationship categories of non-committal casual couplings really do not require that the partners be on the same page at all when it comes to politics.
In those cases, these relationship categories simply take the dating dynamics for what it is; a valued togetherness that simply has limits when it comes to certain expectations and short-term commitments.
When it does matter is when a dating duo are seeking a serious long term alliance, whether it be a candidate for living together, having children or forming a blended family unit. In this case, the particular political parties may actually be irrelevant per se, and it is more about the compatible value systems of the couple.
Could an individual who wants limited amounts of government involvement in general day to day live have children with someone that pushes for more government policy at the cost of individual privacy? Can a person who values new independence build a future with someone that wants to maintain the status quo?
Well, given that people who are compatible and have similar backgrounds, can still struggle with commitment and end up divorced, it really comes down to the couple in question, and not how passionate they are about hot topic politics.
Also, given that the platforms of various political parties change over the years, or that politicians themselves switch parties (not necessarily personal beliefs), the best the aspiring couple can do is identify their own belief systems of good and bad and be able to communicate where they individually draw the line about what is right and wrong for themselves.
If and when such a self actualized human being finds a like minded romantic partner, then compatibility and chemistry can work together in an alliance to make love happen. Couples who make the extra effort to know themselves, and learn about each other on that deeper level always get my vote.
Frank Kermit
By Frank Kermit
Elections — a time when choices are made, protests have audience, and friendships destroyed (we hope temporarily) over loyalties to political stances.
For some it is a time to face the realities of government policies that may affect the quality of your life (depending on the stage of life you are at) and for others it is a time to hide your head in the sand when the campaigns to make your vote count come knocking.
The one question that comes up in my practice during this period is what to do when you are dating someone that had different political views, or supports a different political party.
As always, the answer is, it depends.
Even the best of couples may disagree on topics that could be more important than not.
However, although common interests and aligned thinking are necessary for long term relationship success, that does not automatically mean that a couple must agree on everything. That type of picture-perfect partnering simply is neither realistic nor necessary.
The first question is what the nature of your relationship is to begin with. If you are involved casually or dating someone in a manner where you are enjoying mutual companionship, but the desire to have a future together is beyond the scope of the couple in question, then voting for different parties is a moot topic.
If you are at a stage of your life where you are past the point of seeking a life partner to have children with, and aren’t even looking for a live-in partner, then those relationship categories of non-committal casual couplings really do not require that the partners be on the same page at all when it comes to politics.
In those cases, these relationship categories simply take the dating dynamics for what it is; a valued togetherness that simply has limits when it comes to certain expectations and short-term commitments.
When it does matter is when a dating duo are seeking a serious long term alliance, whether it be a candidate for living together, having children or forming a blended family unit. In this case, the particular political parties may actually be irrelevant per se, and it is more about the compatible value systems of the couple.
Could an individual who wants limited amounts of government involvement in general day to day live have children with someone that pushes for more government policy at the cost of individual privacy? Can a person who values new independence build a future with someone that wants to maintain the status quo?
Well, given that people who are compatible and have similar backgrounds, can still struggle with commitment and end up divorced, it really comes down to the couple in question, and not how passionate they are about hot topic politics.
Also, given that the platforms of various political parties change over the years, or that politicians themselves switch parties (not necessarily personal beliefs), the best the aspiring couple can do is identify their own belief systems of good and bad and be able to communicate where they individually draw the line about what is right and wrong for themselves.
If and when such a self actualized human being finds a like minded romantic partner, then compatibility and chemistry can work together in an alliance to make love happen. Couples who make the extra effort to know themselves, and learn about each other on that deeper level always get my vote.
Frank Kermit
- Published on
Bad Choices catch up with you
Good People Making Bad Choices
By Frank Kermit
This is blog is designed to offer advice, tips and support,
for seekers to find what they need to build, create and engage into
a successful marriage.
The reason this is such an important area of my coaching practice
is because most couple that get married
never do so in the hopes it will end in divorce.
Most people get into marriage wanting it to last until
death does them part.
Unfortunately, with the divorce rate being what it is, this is obviously not the result the majority of those couples ever wanted.
I see a lot of really good people, who want successful marriages,
in my private coaching practice working with individuals, and couples.
People who aim to live out their lives together in a successful marriage,
generally speaking, do so out of a desire to be happy, build a family
together, and want to establish a future together based on the principles that are important to them.
These same individuals aim to create a relationship structure,
that will be able to withstand the hard times, enjoy the good times,
and last a life time.
Simply put, they want to live a life of making choices to create the
most successful marriages possible.
The challenge however, is not that they lack choice to
making that happen.
It is that they do not know how to MANAGE their choices.
Years ago, I described one of the tenants of my coaching practice with this statement:
The power of choice, without the skills to know what to do with it,
can lead to a misery so great, it ends up being worse than living
in a system of oppression that meets basic needs.
That is what I see in my coaching practice.
Good people, making horrible choices that destroy their chances
of every having a happily successful marriage.
It is one thing not to be sure what choices is best for you.
It is completely a different matter to figure out how the heck
you manage a marriage in a way that
meets the emotional needs of everyone involved.
People often do not realize the mistakes they are making
managing their marriages (or upcoming marriages), until it is too late and they lose their marriages, destroy their families,
and send their kids into therapy.
So my coaching aims to help prepare all people to manage
the many choices they will have to make while they seek out
the secrets of successful marriages.
The Pre Marital Coaching is for all the people who:
-Want to Divorce Proof their marriages
-Are about to move in together
-Are thinking about getting engaged or who already got engaged
-Looking to elope
-Want to start a family
-Afraid of ever getting divorce, and want to reduce the risks
-Went through a divorce before and want to prevent another
-Have family and friends against this union and they want to prove them wrong
-Want to be sure they have the skills necessary to stick to their vows
-Are struggling with the idea of a prenuptial agreement
-Have doubts about marriage
-Want to make "til death do us part" mean something again
-Want to find ways to talk to their partner about difficult subjects
-Worry about trusting their partner
-Worry about the challenge of long term commitment
-Are looking for a marriage that is LGBTQF friendly
-Are looking for a marriage that is alternative lifestyle friendly
-Want conflict resolution skills
-Having a hard time pinpointing your relationship rules and boundaries
If you want to invest in securing a solid foundation to make sure
you are in a relationship that actually succeeds, then you are
seeking the secrets of a successful marriage
as well as those couples in already establish committed relationships that are working things out to stay together.
As you read and follow the articles on my blog,
do please reach out to me with any information that you feel,
was really helpful to you, in your pursuit of seeking the secrets of your personal success.
-Frank Kermit
- Published on
Ex-Lovers and Wedding Guest List
by Frank Kermit, Updated on March 2, 2018
During my couples coaching sessions,
one of the topics of discussion that tends to come up
is the wedding list of guests.
One of the questions I ask is:
Have either one of you had an intimate relationship with any guests,
that your partner (the one who is marrying you)
does not know about?
I think the majority of couples would be surprised by just
how often it turns out that some of the wedding guests
turn out to be secret past lovers of either member of the couple
getting married, that the other partner did not know.
What turns out to be worse, is when that secret lover,
actually made it to the actual wedding party
(either a bridesmaid, or an usher/groomsman)
Sometimes, having someone who has a sexual past
with a wedding partner attend your wedding as a guest
can be taken as an insult to the other wedding partner.
Usually, the invitation of a past lover
to a wedding can be handled,
but it is the secretive nature of the information
that causes the bigger issue.
The other partner starts to wonder
what other information has not been volunteered
that will continued to be "hidden" until the correct
direction question is asked.
That is no way to start a wedding guest list.
As a general rule, ex-lovers and weddings do not mix.
And in the event one of your secret ex-lovers
has been invited to your wedding
make sure you TELL YOUR PARTNER
The worst thing that can happen,
is that the information is reveal
at the wedding, when everyone is celebrating
and secrets come out unintentionally.
It is a time people become emotionally,
and sometimes intoxicated,
which always spells trouble for secret-keeping.
I have seen this happen from direct experience
and those of my client base.
Plan for your wedding to be spectacular, not a spectacle.
If you are a couple that wants to get more serious but are worried you will end up divorced, or an individual trying to figure out if you have found the right person, consider signing up for my 12-hour pre-marriage coaching program.
by Frank Kermit, Updated on March 2, 2018
During my couples coaching sessions,
one of the topics of discussion that tends to come up
is the wedding list of guests.
One of the questions I ask is:
Have either one of you had an intimate relationship with any guests,
that your partner (the one who is marrying you)
does not know about?
I think the majority of couples would be surprised by just
how often it turns out that some of the wedding guests
turn out to be secret past lovers of either member of the couple
getting married, that the other partner did not know.
What turns out to be worse, is when that secret lover,
actually made it to the actual wedding party
(either a bridesmaid, or an usher/groomsman)
Sometimes, having someone who has a sexual past
with a wedding partner attend your wedding as a guest
can be taken as an insult to the other wedding partner.
Usually, the invitation of a past lover
to a wedding can be handled,
but it is the secretive nature of the information
that causes the bigger issue.
The other partner starts to wonder
what other information has not been volunteered
that will continued to be "hidden" until the correct
direction question is asked.
That is no way to start a wedding guest list.
As a general rule, ex-lovers and weddings do not mix.
And in the event one of your secret ex-lovers
has been invited to your wedding
make sure you TELL YOUR PARTNER
The worst thing that can happen,
is that the information is reveal
at the wedding, when everyone is celebrating
and secrets come out unintentionally.
It is a time people become emotionally,
and sometimes intoxicated,
which always spells trouble for secret-keeping.
I have seen this happen from direct experience
and those of my client base.
Plan for your wedding to be spectacular, not a spectacle.
If you are a couple that wants to get more serious but are worried you will end up divorced, or an individual trying to figure out if you have found the right person, consider signing up for my 12-hour pre-marriage coaching program.
- Published on
G. L. Henderson is an award-winning author and in his acclaimed work, "The Fantasy Master" he asks the question, "At what price are you willing to pay to have a Fantasy? Are you willing to give up the love in your life for a temporary moment of pleasure?"
G.L. covers a wide range of situations dealing with the human experience. From the mentality of an emotionally battered woman to the sensuous depths she experiences in her imagination and physical being.
G.L. was nominated for top new non-fiction author by the Charlotte's Literary and Arts Awards. G.L. is coming off a self-titled national book tour, sponsored by the Oakley Corp. As a finalist for the Ebony Magazine's Top-Rated Eligible Bachelor of 2006. G.L. has a lot to say on the topic of romance and relationships. Covering both the bachelor standpoint, and the feminine perspective, he gives us the privilege of others' experiences... who dare to share. The emotional depth in his work personifies the accuracy and mystery required of such themes. The experiences of the human spirit are explained so eloquently and tastefully through his mind.
G.L. covers a wide range of situations dealing with the human experience. From the mentality of an emotionally battered woman to the sensuous depths she experiences in her imagination and physical being.
G.L. was nominated for top new non-fiction author by the Charlotte's Literary and Arts Awards. G.L. is coming off a self-titled national book tour, sponsored by the Oakley Corp. As a finalist for the Ebony Magazine's Top-Rated Eligible Bachelor of 2006. G.L. has a lot to say on the topic of romance and relationships. Covering both the bachelor standpoint, and the feminine perspective, he gives us the privilege of others' experiences... who dare to share. The emotional depth in his work personifies the accuracy and mystery required of such themes. The experiences of the human spirit are explained so eloquently and tastefully through his mind.
Infidelity: The Root of Marital Evil - how to get over it and survive
Frank Kermit makes his 3rd appearance on The G L Henderson Hour on the Artist First website network. On this show Frank and G L discuss Infidelity: the root of marital evil. A wife catches her husband having an affair, and then catches him with the same woman again. Should she leave him? They have two children together. Also discussed are ways to affair proof your marriage, accidental affairs, making monogamy work, getting past a betrayal of trust, getting over the hurt of an affair and more...Frank also shares his own story of how he got over being cheated on, finding peace and forgiveness and how he coaches singles and couples who are surviving an affair.
Can a Threesome Save A Sexless Marriage?
Published on Apr 26, 2016
Can a threesome save a sexless marriage? G L Henderson of the Artist First network talks to Frank Kermit about it. This is Frank's 2nd appearance on the show
Can a threesome save a sexless marriage? G L Henderson of the Artist First network talks to Frank Kermit about it. This is Frank's 2nd appearance on the show
Sexual Health and Families out of Control
Date: February 21, 2013 Title: G. L. Henderson Radio Hour
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance on the G L Henderson Radio Hour. On this show, Frank and G.L. talk about Sexual Health and Families Out Of Control.
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance on the G L Henderson Radio Hour. On this show, Frank and G.L. talk about Sexual Health and Families Out Of Control.
- Published on
Kevin Jackson is the author of the book Survive Her Affair, and founder of the site: www.soyourwifecheated.com Kevin Jackson has a unique gift to help men heal from their wife's infidelity. (At least, that is what hundreds of happy customers have to say.) Since late 2010, Kevin has been teaching men around the world how to survive their wife's infidelity, no matter how hopeless their situations seem. Using his no-b.s. approach and unique male perspective on the healing process, he has become the leader in the field of Affair Recovery For Men. Kevin's obsession with this topic began with a very personal experience of betrayal in his own life. He looked around for help to get through his own pain, but all he found were books and programs that were primarily for women. (And these books were full of examples of the man being the one who cheated... talk about sexist). Kevin used his knowledge of internet marketing to put up a website, and started helping men online navigate through the perilous waters of affair recovery. Quickly he had a loyal following and an online tribe. Kevin has leveraged his secrets and philosophies to help men in all 50 states, and from every walk of life. He is available for media interviews and appearances.
Bonus Track for Survive Her Affair
Date: August 2014, Title: Survive Her Affair
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance. Kevin Jackson author and founder of Survive Her Affair, interviews Frank Kermit as part of a series of audio bonus to the purchase of his book. This is a 10 minute preview of the first interview for you to listen to, and get an idea of how men react to being cheated on by their wives.
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance. Kevin Jackson author and founder of Survive Her Affair, interviews Frank Kermit as part of a series of audio bonus to the purchase of his book. This is a 10 minute preview of the first interview for you to listen to, and get an idea of how men react to being cheated on by their wives.
- Published on
On the verge of a marriage meltdown? Newlywed, Nearly Dead? is coming to the rescue. Couples that drive each other crazy receive a big dose of tough love from marriage expert Gary Direnfeld. Also a variety of other Relationship Experts and Self Improvement types are invited in on a per episode basis and are matched up with their skill base, and the particular needs of the couple. Newlywed Nearly Dead? aims to lower North America's divorce rate one couple at a time.
50 Shades of Frank Kermit, Couples Coaching and Intro to BDSM
Date: July 27, 2009, Title: Newlywed, Nearly Dead?
A nationally broadcast television program on Slice TV.
Episode# 3034 Lisa and Mark started off really great in their relationship, but a few personality quirks and some personal crisis have had their toll on their relationship. Newlywed, Nearly Dead? invites Frank Kermit a Relationship Expert and his teachings of Emotional Needs to give a little guidance to their love life. Frank Kermit joins Lisa and Mark for some private Couples Coaching.
A nationally broadcast television program on Slice TV.
Episode# 3034 Lisa and Mark started off really great in their relationship, but a few personality quirks and some personal crisis have had their toll on their relationship. Newlywed, Nearly Dead? invites Frank Kermit a Relationship Expert and his teachings of Emotional Needs to give a little guidance to their love life. Frank Kermit joins Lisa and Mark for some private Couples Coaching.
Reviews of the Couple Mark and Lisa
Review by Lisa
MARK IS A MAN AGAIN. Mark has definitely stepped up a lot, and turned into the man he once was. Everything has definitely shifted, and it has become more of an adult relationship. The challenge was for Mark to learn to step up and be a man and learn to seduce me mentally again, which he has somehow lost down the lines of our relationship. It was very beneficial because Frank actually knew what I wanted before he met me and he was right on with what he needed from Mark.
When we did the exercise I could really feel that that is what I need from Mark. I need him to be more of a man in control of himself. And he showed that. Throughout the exercise Frank was coaching Mark from a different area with a microphone in his ear. Just telling him things a woman would like. Mark was responding. Sort of doing a little bit of his own, but listening to instruction from Frank and it was very good. It was very beneficial. I was enjoying it. I was not uncomfortable at all because I knew that Frank was not going to make us go past any of our boundaries. I was quite comfortable with the scenario. It was very beneficial. It was exactly what I needed. It was more the kind of relationship I want to have in the bedroom with Mark. We used to have that kind of relationship, but somewhere down the road it stopped. I needed that boost in him. I needed that confidence in him, and know that he can not talk like a boy in the bedroom and he has to be like a man or else it turns me off. So it completely helped us because he has not acted like a boy at all, even in the bedroom, and I have been more turned on than anytime! I loved what happened in the bedroom! I loved what he was doing to me! I absolutely felt safe.
I felt like he was going to do nothing bad to me...only what I wanted him to do. I definitely felt like he was a man. He was not a boy in there with me. He was a man, and thats what I wanted. It did not feel like authentic Mark, but the whole challenge was that Frank told us we have to develop our own technique and Mark has to be the kind of man he is going to be. Those were just ways he would seduce a woman. Mark has to come up with his own identity in the bedroom. It does not have to be exactly what Frank did. But Frank was teaching us how to tap into that again. I definitely feel it changed Mark. I know that he said it was very beneficial to him. I think that it got him out of the rut because it made him feel like he is a man again. He does not have to act like a little boy. And I think that is what he is been wanting but he just did not know how to go about and do it. As much as I tell him, it was not the way he needed to be told. He was not hearing what I was saying. He needed someone else to come along and tell him how to tap into my emotions rather than the things he used to do.
Frank sort of taught me that if Mark is going sort of in the right direction of what I am looking for, then to not be critical of it. There are ways to actually show him what I want, or what I am not responding to rather than just come out and say it. I was not aware that that is what I was doing before. It did help me as much as it helped Mark. My favorite part of it was actually that I do not have to be in control anymore. I can actually allow Mark to have control in the bedroom. My favorite thing about the challenge was just letting go and letting Mark actually be the man that I have always wanted him to be. I know it is in there. It has been in there before, we have just lost that in the last little while. It was nice to know that he is learning how to tap into my emotions and I do not have to work. I can just let go and be free.
I think the biggest thing before was that I was always turned off because he was a little boy. Frank actually taught him how to remain a man throughout the entire evening. So, it has been great. And No it was not hard for me at all. It is what I have been wanting. After Frank left it got hot and steamy. It was wonderful! I am definitely going to continue being a woman and not being his mother.
Review by Mark
I think the purpose of Frank Kermit's session was to just bring me back when we first met. He just lead me through and gave me some good pointers, and he really opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong, and how I was making her feel. Hey, it was great. It was amazing. In the beginning it was weird. Lisa and myself were in the bedroom. Just trying to bond in a sexual manner. I had an earpiece, and he was speaking to me from another room. And just basically going through some techniques that would work and some seduction techniques. In the beginning it was a little weird. It worked out great. And she really got into it and its made a difference already. I think it brought me back to the beginning in our relationship, and that's how our sex life was like. In the end we were both having fun. And I think that was the point. She was responding pretty well to the whole situation. I think that was what she needed. She was right into that.
We have kind of lost touch with the whole, the way we used to be. I would say our sex life is back on track this week. We already had a couple times in the bedroom and it was pretty good. I would say we are on the right track anyway. Yah. I have taken a little of Frank lessons and applied it to my sex life. Its made a difference. I would say the seducer challenge was my favorite. I enjoyed it the most. I enjoyed it the most because it brought me back to where I was in the beginning. Somewhere down the line I missed. I just became a totally different person for our sex life and now it is enjoyable again. And now it is enjoyable again; experimenting and having fun in the bedroom, and exactly what we want. I did not ever think it was going to...our sex life would improve so quickly. Its definitely done a 180%.
For sure. Talking to Frank and listening to him. He just amazing. Dead on every aspect. He really knows what he is talking about. And I believe him 100%. He is definitely a master at seduction. I trust him 100%. I definitely got my Mojo back!...Thanks to Frank.
MARK IS A MAN AGAIN. Mark has definitely stepped up a lot, and turned into the man he once was. Everything has definitely shifted, and it has become more of an adult relationship. The challenge was for Mark to learn to step up and be a man and learn to seduce me mentally again, which he has somehow lost down the lines of our relationship. It was very beneficial because Frank actually knew what I wanted before he met me and he was right on with what he needed from Mark.
When we did the exercise I could really feel that that is what I need from Mark. I need him to be more of a man in control of himself. And he showed that. Throughout the exercise Frank was coaching Mark from a different area with a microphone in his ear. Just telling him things a woman would like. Mark was responding. Sort of doing a little bit of his own, but listening to instruction from Frank and it was very good. It was very beneficial. I was enjoying it. I was not uncomfortable at all because I knew that Frank was not going to make us go past any of our boundaries. I was quite comfortable with the scenario. It was very beneficial. It was exactly what I needed. It was more the kind of relationship I want to have in the bedroom with Mark. We used to have that kind of relationship, but somewhere down the road it stopped. I needed that boost in him. I needed that confidence in him, and know that he can not talk like a boy in the bedroom and he has to be like a man or else it turns me off. So it completely helped us because he has not acted like a boy at all, even in the bedroom, and I have been more turned on than anytime! I loved what happened in the bedroom! I loved what he was doing to me! I absolutely felt safe.
I felt like he was going to do nothing bad to me...only what I wanted him to do. I definitely felt like he was a man. He was not a boy in there with me. He was a man, and thats what I wanted. It did not feel like authentic Mark, but the whole challenge was that Frank told us we have to develop our own technique and Mark has to be the kind of man he is going to be. Those were just ways he would seduce a woman. Mark has to come up with his own identity in the bedroom. It does not have to be exactly what Frank did. But Frank was teaching us how to tap into that again. I definitely feel it changed Mark. I know that he said it was very beneficial to him. I think that it got him out of the rut because it made him feel like he is a man again. He does not have to act like a little boy. And I think that is what he is been wanting but he just did not know how to go about and do it. As much as I tell him, it was not the way he needed to be told. He was not hearing what I was saying. He needed someone else to come along and tell him how to tap into my emotions rather than the things he used to do.
Frank sort of taught me that if Mark is going sort of in the right direction of what I am looking for, then to not be critical of it. There are ways to actually show him what I want, or what I am not responding to rather than just come out and say it. I was not aware that that is what I was doing before. It did help me as much as it helped Mark. My favorite part of it was actually that I do not have to be in control anymore. I can actually allow Mark to have control in the bedroom. My favorite thing about the challenge was just letting go and letting Mark actually be the man that I have always wanted him to be. I know it is in there. It has been in there before, we have just lost that in the last little while. It was nice to know that he is learning how to tap into my emotions and I do not have to work. I can just let go and be free.
I think the biggest thing before was that I was always turned off because he was a little boy. Frank actually taught him how to remain a man throughout the entire evening. So, it has been great. And No it was not hard for me at all. It is what I have been wanting. After Frank left it got hot and steamy. It was wonderful! I am definitely going to continue being a woman and not being his mother.
Review by Mark
I think the purpose of Frank Kermit's session was to just bring me back when we first met. He just lead me through and gave me some good pointers, and he really opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong, and how I was making her feel. Hey, it was great. It was amazing. In the beginning it was weird. Lisa and myself were in the bedroom. Just trying to bond in a sexual manner. I had an earpiece, and he was speaking to me from another room. And just basically going through some techniques that would work and some seduction techniques. In the beginning it was a little weird. It worked out great. And she really got into it and its made a difference already. I think it brought me back to the beginning in our relationship, and that's how our sex life was like. In the end we were both having fun. And I think that was the point. She was responding pretty well to the whole situation. I think that was what she needed. She was right into that.
We have kind of lost touch with the whole, the way we used to be. I would say our sex life is back on track this week. We already had a couple times in the bedroom and it was pretty good. I would say we are on the right track anyway. Yah. I have taken a little of Frank lessons and applied it to my sex life. Its made a difference. I would say the seducer challenge was my favorite. I enjoyed it the most. I enjoyed it the most because it brought me back to where I was in the beginning. Somewhere down the line I missed. I just became a totally different person for our sex life and now it is enjoyable again. And now it is enjoyable again; experimenting and having fun in the bedroom, and exactly what we want. I did not ever think it was going to...our sex life would improve so quickly. Its definitely done a 180%.
For sure. Talking to Frank and listening to him. He just amazing. Dead on every aspect. He really knows what he is talking about. And I believe him 100%. He is definitely a master at seduction. I trust him 100%. I definitely got my Mojo back!...Thanks to Frank.
- Published on
The Symbol of Your Ex
When Your Ex Becomes a Symbol in Your Life
By Frank Kermit
We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. Whatever the symbol, or character-symbol, the purpose is to convey a meaning to an audience. Symbols have a way of reaching people. Whether it is the symbol of a dollar sign ($), horoscope Gemini sign, or colored ribbon remembrance, all symbols have the intent to carry on a meaning for the audience and if properly effective, a symbol leaves an emotional impact.
The ribbon is not just a piece of material but a testament to those that may have died from, or survived, breast cancer. The Gemini sign is not some doodle on a paper, but a means to connect to energies unknown that can influence our life's journey. The dollar sign is not merely to describe the concept of money and value, but may also represent a symbol of hardship, connecting to a memory of when someone did not have enough money to afford the basics; just as that same symbol of the dollar sign may represent a reminder of the power of what you can earn to someone else.
We do not just look at the Golden Arches. We making meaning of them and interpret deserving a break today, childhood, and singing about "two all-beef patties, special sauce, etc..." However the most powerful symbols are the ones that have some element of sentience to them...character symbols we recognize as people. From as far back as breakfast cereal commercials, we formed relationships with character symbols such as "Tony the Tiger", "Toucan Sam" and "Snap", "Crackle", "Pop". Where the Golden Arches reach their limits, "Ronald" can pick up the burger and carry it over the goal line to make the touchdown scoring an emotional impact.
But what if the clown that has become a symbol in your life happens to be a relationship ex who has come to represent everything that is wrong with you?
Have you ever struggled to get over an ex, even when you are the one that ended the relationship? Have you ever struggled to move on with your life, even though you know intellectually that your ex was completely wrong for you? Do you remember your ex and your relationship with your ex, as being so much better than it was, and can only be reminded of that fully when either an outside person points it out, or (gasp!) you rekindle with your ex and realize what a mistake you just made? Chances are that your ex has become a symbol for you.
Turning an ex into a symbol is not that difficult a process. If you spend way too much time fantasizing about your ex, or more specifically, fantasizing about how great your life would have been with your ex, you are effectively turning your ex into a symbol. Your ex, the real one, is human. Your real ex is a human with all the positive and negative traits that make a person human. Your real ex is a human that is as flawed as dinged as the rest of us. However, the symbol of your ex is perfect. The symbol of your ex is superbly attractive, says all the right things, responds to your every communication exactly the way you need it. In this way, the symbol of your ex could represent how wonderfully perfect you wish your life could be and no amount of reality, including a new relationship partner, or even your real ex, could ever live up to that.
If you feel any shame or guilt about the nature of your break up, the symbol of your ex could be something that continues to make you feel bad about yourself because the symbol of your ex could be a reminder of all the mistakes you think you made that caused you to feel the pain you are in during your heartbreak. At this point, the idea of reconciliation with your ex could be interpreted as the only way to correct the errors of your past and prove that you are forgivable. This of course does not pan out in the real world. If ever you do manage to get your ex back, even if you have healed that part of you that was in part responsible for the break up, your ex is still your ex. If you and your ex have both healed your broken parts, then you are essentially new people that may not be compatible. If only one of you has healed the broken parts, then the repeating behavior patterns of the other are still in effect and will take their toll on the relationship. No matter what anyone in the couple says...there are always two sides to every break up that each partner must accept responsibility for.
When trying to get over an ex, an important step of the process is to acknowledge the differences between your ex as the imperfect human being (the real ex) verses the symbol of your ex who you likely and unfairly compare to every new potential love that comes into your life. You do have a choice. Accept the reality and move on, or stay stuck on the fantasy of the ex...who never actually existed.
Frank Kermit
- Published on
Stop talking about your ex
Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex
By Frank Kermit
So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This is going good. You start talking about personal interests. Then your date does it. Your date starts to talk about an ex...and it is not just a passing mention that is brief in nature.
Your date keeps talking about the ex, to the point where you decide that your date is likely still way too hooked on the ex to be emotionally available to be in a relationship with you. The date ends. You are disappointed because the search goes on to find a more suitable partner. Your date, that in fact, may be fully interested in seeing you again, is disappointed that you did not make any connection, and chances are, your date has no idea what he or she did to turn you off.
Talking constantly about an ex while on a date is a red flag. It is a turn off, because talking constantly about an ex is like resurrecting a ghost. When it comes to romantic endeavors, flesh and blood imperfect human beings simply cannot compete with the fantastical fantasy phantoms of someone's idealize past lover.
Those people who would be higher quality potential partners, likely have learned not to bother even trying to fight the ghosts and just walk away. When you are on a date, talk about the things you love and the values you embody, and leave your ex in the past.
Now, if the only meaningful life experiences you have to share are only associated with a particular ex, then take it as a sign that you need to stop waiting to have someone to try new things with, and head out on your own.
For example, if you love dancing but the only dancing stories you have are directly related to an ex, then consider going out dancing with friends, or even taking dance lessons by yourself so that you can meet new people. In this way, you explore your love of dancing, and can share stories about your love of dancing that will be separate from stories of your ex.
If you are still hooked on your ex, to the point where you will not give someone new a legitimate chance at your heart, at the very least be honest about it with the new person you are dating. When on a date, let the person know that you are recovering from a severely broken heart, BUT that should be the extent of any talk about the ex. This gives the other person the ability to make an informed choice for him or her self as to whether or not they want to continue trying with you.
Some people will be OK with it, and are just glad to have someone to spend time with and have some fun. Some people are looking for emotionally available people for a serious relationship and those people will bolt away fast. Some people are in exactly the same predicament as you and are thrilled that they are not alone in their misery, happy to have the company.
A date is NOT a time to be going into a therapeutic discussion. When you are on a date, focus on the person you are with and get to know that person and what role that person can play in your life (friend, lover, serious long term partner).
While you make getting to know the person a fun process, leave the discussions about your unresolved issues with the ex for when you come into the coach's office.
Frank Kermit
