The Most Romantic Songs List
by Frank Kermit

Dear Friends, A little while ago, I posted on social media asking people to name their favorite most romantic song and to tell me why if possible. That post received so much attention that I decided to make a blog post about it.  Here are (in no particular order) what people say are some of the most romantic songs they know.

Agree? Disagree?  Let me know in the comments below and post your favorite romantic songs.

 Frank Kermit says the most romantic song is Rainbow Connection as it was his and his wife's wedding song:

 Murray says This song is by Ween, a band not generally noted for their love songs called "Stay Forever",  is a perfect expression of the overwhelming joy of new love.

Carlo likes Ti Amo "Original Italian Version, Umberto Tozzi

 Barbra says More Than Words by Extreme, It may not be the most romantic song but the song itself says everything.

 Luc says L'été Indien by Joe Dassin...t'was my first slow dance at the tender age of 15

 Laura says 1000 Years - Love throughout many lifetimes - It doesn't get more beautiful than that!

 Chrystal says The look of love ❤️ by anyone who sings it well. It reflects what canot be said in words but seen through the eyes.

 Mary likes Have You Ever Loved a Woman, Bryan Adams.

Ivan likes All of Me by John Legend. He says: an ex girlfriend used to send me that song telling me it's how she feels about me. It reminds me of that purest "foolish" infatuation/love that the lost romantic in me still craves.

 Nick says Since I'm bilingual (Spanish and English) Bachata Rose Juan Luis Guerra.  Andy agrees saying: this is one of the most beautiful songs ever. bachata for life

Advice for Musicians, Singer/Songwriters and Composers
By Mike Rien


In my opinion, music is pure emotion. An extension of oneself.

Although, having talent is only part of it. It's an on going process, and you have to contually be open to improving upon your skills. Once you have that down it becomes fun. You want to be able to express yourself without any limitations.


Be adaptable, such as in life.


For example, if you like a certain piece of music whether it is classical, jazz, rock, pop, R&B, electronic, dance, folk and so forth, you have to analyze how it was created and discover how and why it touches you emotionally, in order to re create it, which helps you when you create your own masterpieces.


This takes time, love and devotion to the craft, patience, discipline, follow through and then having the courage to be your own voice by performing and recording it.


After all, you want that sense of freedom and joy, it's like being on vacation. When working with others, it's easier for you to be open to there ideas because they are coming from a different place, different life experiences and have different perspectives.


Although, never lose your identity, follow your heart as to what you feel is right, but be willing to compromise.


If your a singer/songwriter or composer, never forget the others who have done it before you.


Whether you realize it or not, they have had an influence on you.


One last piece of advice, stay in shape. I recently, lost a good portion of pounds and have changed my diet, and I now have the energy to accomplish more with a clear head.

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Michael Rien (Kali & Dub, Skip Bay) - Singer/Songwriter and Multi-Instrumentalist, specialising in Drum Set, Piano and Keyboards. Screen Composer. Arranger and Tracking Engineer. Michael also runs a Production Company called Primal Urge Productions. primalurgeproductions.com

To Learn More about Michael Rien, Visit: michaelrien.com


About Michael Rien's Album:  STILL GOT THE FIRE

Originally, the brainchild of Michael Rien. It might seem like this is a new Project. In fact, it has taken many years for it to develop into what it is today. Not to mention, the help received along the way, collaborating with talented Artists, Musical Technicians, Photographers, and Graphic Designers, such as, Raphael Rosenwald, Mars Trinity, Philip Faith, Mario Francesco Munoz Ferrante AKA Check-Zero, Jeremy Dowsett, Jason Songsmith and Dave Morrissette, to name a few.

The Album, Still Got The Fire is a blend of older and newer material. I'm a Generation X guy who grew up listening to Classic Rock of the 60s and 70s, falling in love with the sound of, The Who at a very young age. When Grunge and Alternative came about in the 90s, that was an eye opener to different more aggressive sounds that I instantly fell in love with. Since playing the drums is one of my specialties it was natural for me to be attracted to the power of that music with the loud electric guitar and cool grooves. In fact, Dave Grohl came out of Nirvana, and in today's popular music I really like the songwriting and sound of the Foo Fighters. I enjoy Metal, Trance and Funk too. I try to bring all of these elements together when I write.

While the song, Silver Car Invasion is a statement of society, and the song, Karma touches upon how wrong choices can lead to negative results. For the most part, I've been told that my music is motivational. I'd say that the Single, Still Got The Fire and the songs, Chasin' Another Dream, Freedom Is Here, Gotta Get It Out and It Feels Right describe the inner drive we have inside that pushes us to strive for our dreams despite the road blocks that lie ahead. We do have the power to transform from what's in our minds and make it reality.

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DEAL BREAKERS: WE ALL HAVE OUR BOUNDARIES
 
By Frank Kermit
 
We all have boundaries. We all have that line that must never be crossed. This is beyond what we have as preferences for the way we like to be treated. This has to do with absolutes in what we can and cannot handle in our intimate relationships.
 
Where some people make mistakes, is in how they communicate their boundaries. The BIGGEST boundary mistake that people make is: not really knowing what their own boundaries are.
 
You cannot enforce a boundary that you do not know you have. You have to wait until someone crosses it to know it is there. Usually by that time, it is too late. The boundary was crossed, and the disdain for your partner has found a nest to fester in.
 
The question of whether or not you need to expand on one of your boundaries comes down to whether or not you are content with the consequences of having your boundary. If you are content with your boundary and are happily handling the consequences of your boundary, then it is no ones business. However if you are not content with your boundary, like for example, if you feel that it limits you in ways that you want to expand on, then, and only then, do you push through your boundaries.
 
For example, lets say that it is your boundary that you will never take part in a particular activity like swimming in the ocean. Regardless if that boundary comes from not knowing how to swim, a situated knowledge you have about the pollution levels of the ocean front areas of the area you live in, or because you watched Jaws as a child and learned not to go into the water; the source of your boundary is not relevant. You have a right to your boundary. However, the consequences of that boundary might be that you are unable to fully take part in some group activities that you are invited too, such as a picnic by the sea held by one of your social circles. Now, if you have no problem with missing out on social activities that you feel forbidden to do because of your boundary, then it really is no one's business.
 
However, if you feel that you are suffering because of your boundary, and in this example, if could be that you feel you lost an opportunity to better connect with someone that spent their day doing water sports, you will have a choice to make. Either you expand on your boundaries and work on being more open to new experiences (dealing with whatever may have been the source of it), or you simply accept that your boundary is going to cost you, and write off the losses as an acceptable cost. Only you can make that accounting.
 
Something that is very important in understanding your own boundaries is that, although you have a right to have your own boundary, and to enforce your own boundary in how you want others to treat you, it does not include the right to enforce your boundary on others to have the same boundary that you do.
 
An audience at a movie theatre watching a movie with multiple sex scenes might make your feel uncomfortable, to the point where you would walk out of the theater. That is your right as it is crossing a personal boundary for you. However, just because you do not like it, does not make it OK for you to expect, nor demand that the rest of the audience get up and walk out as well. See the difference? Bare in mind this is the norm for situations where no lines of violence are cross. An R-rated movie with multiple sex scenes may not be to your liking, but it certainly does not cross any lines of violence. Everyone there, including the actors in the movie are adults offering consent.
 
You are the only person that has an obligation to enforce your boundary. If it is your boundary, it is your responsibility. Unless there is a legal issue involved where it is about the protection of your safety in public spaces, it is going to be up to you to enforce your boundary. Think about your boundaries as a preference with such importance, that you cannot bear to be without that boundary. Yet at the same time, it could be just a preference to someone else, and it may even be the exact opposite of what a third person can handle. Boundaries are personal. When entering a relationship, it is important that beyond the romance, there are your rules about what you can handle to manage in your love life.
 
One of the common concepts I see as a Relationship Coach is people allowing their boundaries to be trampled on because they are afraid of being alone. They will tolerate their partner's behaviors, even if it goes against their own values and boundaries, because they would rather be emotionally violated in a relationship, than not to have ANY relationship at all. In the short term, this can work to keep you from being alone but it never quite deals with the deepening sense of loneliness that continues to grow inside you.
 
When your main partner violates your emotional needs by constantly crossing your boundaries, the emptiness that swells within you eventually engulfs your sense of self. Long term, it is simply impossible to maintain your own emotional health in a relationship where you never enforce your own personal boundaries.

These boundaries are even more important when it comes to someone you trust, as recent Dr. Tyler Hurst accusations make clear. You need to feel that sense of safety and security with specific individuals, but that can never happen if they cross lines and intrude on your personal space, especially if they do something illegal. 

Boundaries are a good thing. They keep you safe. They keep you from trusting the wrong people who would do you harm. They help you survive. Every boundary has consequences. You have a right to your boundary, but part of having any boundary is that it comes with the automatic consequence that not everyone will share your boundary, and that it may limit the things you can do and who you connect with. Where you draw that line, and what you are willing to sacrifice is up to you. Just please be careful that you do not sacrifice yourself in the process by either not enforcing your boundaries enough, or having boundaries that are too rigid for you to enjoy connecting with others in life.
 
Frank Kermit

If you want to learn more about how to understand and master your dating and relationship skills: Learn more about self awareness and self actualization by checking out the coaching workbooks

For Men:  I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB WORKBOOK EBOOK

For Women: 
I'M A WOMAN, IT'S MY TIME EBOOK

Learn the Complete  The Emotional Needs Mastery System


Check out the Benefits of COACHING Video

Balancing The Good and Bad in Relationships
 By Frank Kermit
 
There is going to be good and bad in every relationship you enter into.

It is important to be able to recognize the value that someone brings into your life, while at the same time acknowledge the negatives of being involved with that same person.
 
Defining the good and bad in your relationship is not an easy task. In fact, this is an area that people sometimes need an outside perspective such as a coach to provide an objective view.
 
There are times I have to point out to clients that their relational situation is actually pretty good and they simply do not fully appreciate their partners.
 

There are other times when I have be firm with a client to make him or her realize the red flags and hazard signals they are ignoring in staying in an emotionally unhealthy situation. Being able to recognize the good and bad in your relationship is a skill, and can be learned through practice.
 

A lot of it comes down to having certain standards in how you want to be treated, and sticking to those standards by enforcing your boundaries, even when it may be uncomfortable to do so.

 
What is most important to you? Someone being a great parent to your kids? Someone who is financially stable? Someone that has a certain status that will impress the people around you? Someone that is punctual? Someone that has a certain lifestyle you want as well? Someone that looks a certain way? Someone who is reliable and steady? Someone that is impulsive and exciting? Someone that is clean, sober and drug free? Someone that is sexual faithful? Someone that is sexually compatible with you? Someone that actually appreciates your flaws? Someone that knows when not to give in to your bad moods? Someone that can support your career aspirations? Someone who has a passion for a cause he or she is dedicated to?
 
It stands to reason that each of us wants all of those things. However, the reality is that it is very unlikely you will get everything you want in one person. It is more likely that you will end up with someone more compatible with your own imperfections. (Scary huh?)
 

In the end, only you can really decide if the good outweighs the bad, or if the bad outweighs the good in your relationship. Walking away from the bad is not so easy when the good you are getting is really good.
 

The longer you have been with someone, and the more you have invested into together (children, home, future plans), then sticking it out through some temporary rough patches that plague long term relationships may be acceptable as a necessary evil.
 

The best way to really set up relationship success is to aim for value-for-value relationships. Always look for a win-win exchange. When you get something for nothing, start offering more. When you are getting less than what you put in, ask for more or cut what you are offering. In the short term, you may have to deal with loss. In the long run, it will attract the best partners to you and bring better success.
 

In the simplest terms, when deciding if you should stay or if you should go in any relationship you enter; look at what is good about the relationship and what is bad about the relationship. If the bad outweighs the good, then no matter how good it is, it is still bad. And if the good outweighs the bad, then no matter how bad it is, it is still good.

__________________

If you want to learn more about how to understand and master your dating and relationship skills: Learn more about self awareness and self actualization by checking out the coaching workbooks

For Men:  I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB WORKBOOK EBOOK

For Women: 
I'M A WOMAN, IT'S MY TIME EBOOK

Learn the Complete  The Emotional Needs Mastery System


Check out the Benefits of COACHING Video

A Letter to My Son on his Ninth Birthday
By M.J. Di Rocco
 
My son, Love is the faith from which everything starts.

Love is what I chose to tell my stories about. Love, compassion and understanding. But I believe if you choose love, then choose it wholly and know that it's not always simple or clear.
 
I've watched you grow for nine years and every single day that passes I am amazed at your beauty and brilliance.
 
You give me hope.
 
Your generation gives this sad, angry planet its best hope.
 
Now, don't feel intimated, don't feel overwhelmed.

Just remember that you are loved. No matter where you are in the world love exists, even if it is in the tiniest crack in the tiniest pebble, love exists and it will grow if you nurture it.
 
Your father is a Canadian with Italian heritage, your mother is Japanese. We all live in Japan. I know that sometimes you have questions about your identity. Sometimes you're confused. And that's natural.

Believe it or not, sometimes I'm confused too.

Everyone gets confused from time to time.

But, I know this: Love exists in confusion.

Love exists in Japan, love exists Canada, in Italy. Love exists everywhere.
 
And for all the differences of culture between Canada and Japan parents love their children. There is nothing so natural as a parent's love for their children. If you're anything like your father (and I get a feeling you are) you need to discover things on your own--that's your way of understanding the world, discovering things your own way at your own pace. And there is nothing wrong with that.
 
Know, though, that I will always be there watching and ready to extend a hand if the fall is too high. Explore life, my son, explore this world, but do it with love in your heart. Everything you do, do with love in your heart. And the more love you show, the more love you see.
 
You have questions about your mixed heritage, your background. I don't have any better answers than what you will discover for yourself. I really believe that, fundamentally, everyone is the same. We all need to love and need to be loved. We all need a purpose and love provides a purpose, even if it's painful and hopeless at times.
 
Japanese, Canadian, Italian, we are all human.
 
We are all capable of love and we are all beautiful. And remember that in your darkest moments:
WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL and don't let the hurt challenge your love.
 
Love is powerful. Love is humanity and we are all human.


MJ Di Rocco is an author and filmmaker. He has produced and directed three feature films and a dozen music videos and has previously published one book of poetry. He lives in Japan where he stumbled upon teaching and has chosen to teach kindergarten and lecture at university. The Tale of Bunny The Frog is his first children's book and is a story about self-acceptance and accepting others. He can be reached at mjdirocco1@gmail.com 

Read M.J.'s  previous article The Story Behind The Tale of Bunny The Frog

Purchase M.J.'s  Book The Tale of Bunny The Frog through: Amazon Canada

Click To Buy The Tale of Bunny The Frog

M. J.  Di Rocco wrote the introduction to The Frank StoryTelling Program For Dating Workbook

A Relationship is:
Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best
By Frank Kermit
 
At a workshop I hosted  I issued one of my famous Frankisms that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying to convey the importance of sticking to your own rules and boundaries when you are in a relationship, to the point where, you may very well have to walk away from someone you care for deeply (maybe even love) if you are unable to accept the worst parts of your partner.
 
Frankism: "If you are unable to accept your partner at his or her worst, then it does not matter how much you love your partner at his or her best."
 
Sometimes we end up dating people, and fall into committed relationships without meaning too. We start dating casually, not really sure if there is any real future, but being with somebody is better than being with nobody. Then you show up at a party together, and someone puts you both on the spot asking if you are a couple yet or not...and not wanting to sound pathetic or inappropriate, you both confirm that you are in fact a couple (regardless that neither of you spoke about it beforehand)...and there you have it!
 
You are now in a relationship that really hasn't got there on its own merit. But again, being with somebody is better than being with nobody. Maybe if you get more serious, you will end up liking each other more and your partner will change all the things he or she does that you hate. Sounds plausible, right? Wish it were as plausible as it sounds my dear reader.
 
It is easy to base the success of your relationship on all the things you love about your partner. That is where most people start to fantasize (er, um, we mean plan right? Right? Planning, not fantasizing right?) about the kind of future you can build with your partner.
 
The reality is that loving what is best about your partner is not where the success of your long-term relationship solely grows from. The success of your long-term relationship is just as rooted (if not more so) in being able to accept your partner at his or her worst.
 
So, what is the worst thing about your partner? Does your partner forget to bathe regularly? Does your partner refuse to take better care of his or her health? Does your partner get annoying on purpose because of the "fun" way the veins pop out in your neck? Is your partner unable to keep a job? Is your partner a nail biter? Does your partner get snarky to the point of being abusive when feeling under the weather? Does your partner act like a people pleaser and then blow up at you unexpectedly in public? Is your partner simply unable to be sexually faithful to you? Does your partner drink excessively, or is a drug addict of some kind?
 
Forget about what is great about your partner; Find out what is the worst of the worst in terms of what you will have to deal with if you continue seeing your partner. If you have any doubt about what you can handle, stay out of a serious relationship with that person.

A broken engagement is better than a happy divorce.
 
A part of the workshop also covered the topic of how:

"Understanding does not Equal Acceptance".
 
Just because you can understand that your partner may treat you poorly because your partner had a rough upbringing does not mean that it makes the abusive behaviors any more acceptable. You can intellectually understand the source of your partner's pain and the roots of the bad repeating behavior patterns, however, that does not demand that you fully accept it, and invite that aspect into your life through your life partner.
 
When the worst, is worse than the best-of-the-best you are getting, then the end result of the relationship is that it is still worse to stay with your partner than it would be to find someone better

If you want to learn more about how to understand and master your dating and relationship skills: Learn more about self awareness and self actualization by checking out the coaching workbooks

For Men:  I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB WORKBOOK EBOOK

For Women: 
I'M A WOMAN, IT'S MY TIME EBOOK

Learn the Complete  The Emotional Needs Mastery System


Check out the Benefits of COACHING Video

 The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
 By Frank Kermit
 

There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships.


They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. At their most literal meanings, these commonly used words are very understandable. Intellectually, most people have no problem grasping their mental understanding of those words.

 
Lust can be defined as the sexual desire that someone may experience when attracted to someone. To enjoy lust even better check out Now What? Unique Ways to Cater To her Sexual ENA

 
Love can be defined as an emotional attachment someone feels for another person. To make someone full in love with you learn to master their emotional needs.

 
Sex is a physical act between people and usually refers to the act of intercourse. If you never had sex, talk to me about how to lose your virginity.

 
Dating can be understood to refer to the process of two people spending time together with a romantic intention. Check out the NEW rules of dating.

 
Commitment is an obligation that you make a promise to fulfill. There are ways to check if your relationship is commitment ready.

 
Marriage can be considered a legal status you enter to define your legal standing with another individual. Before you get married, sign up for marital coaching.

 
Monogamy is a term to describe a dynamic where you have sex with only one particular person and refuse to have sex with others.  Learn the basics of monogamy and non-monogamy.
 

The issue with these particular words is that people may directly associate a word on the above list to be the equivalent of one, or more, of the others words.
 
Even though we can define each word differently, we may make emotional connections with these particular words that cause us to substitute one word on the list for the other words.
 
For example, a person may feel that marriage is the exact same thing as monogamy. A person may feel that having sex with someone means having someone's love. A person may even feel that simply dating someone for a few casual coffee dates automatically implies a deep commitment. A person may assume that the more lusty attraction they feel for someone, the more they are in love with that person.

This is what makes these certain 7 words intriguingly weird. These words, which intellectually can be understood to be clear and separate, get muddled through multiple shades of gray on deeper emotional levels.
 
It is the realistic person that does not assume commitment when dating, until that commitment is earned and publicly stated. It is the emotionally mature lover that grasps that having sex or lust for someone is not necessarily an expression of any loving attachment beyond the attraction nor physical act. It is the millions of happily married couples in the swinger lifestyle who will attest that being married does not equate monogamy.
 
The understanding that each of these words is unique and separate from the other words is a key ingredient to the beginning stages of getting your love life in order. It is a part of the self-actualization process and achieving clarity in relationships that a person must come to terms that each word does not mean exactly the same thing as any of those other words.
 
One of the best ways to fully grasp this first step concept is to ask yourself if you can experience any one of those terms, without experiencing any other of those terms. For example, is it possible to be in a marriage that is devoid of lust, love, sex, having dated, commitment, or monogamy? The answer of course is yes.
 
There are loveless marriages, sexless marriages, arranged marriages that never involved dating, marriages of convenience where the couple are married but simply are not commitment to each other beyond some kind of materialist exchange, and there are married couples that are non-monogamous where the couple, individually or together as a couple, engage in open consensual sex with other people.
 
This is not about infidelity nor cheating, as there is neither deception nor lying, as both partners of the couple are involved and consenting in the extra-marital sex. Marriage can exist completely independently of all those other terms.
 
This is an example of the clarity that is required to properly handle your relationship mismanagement behaviors. If you want to fully figure out where you might be making incorrect word associations when it comes to your relationship expectations, go through each word and write out if the one word could exist without any of the other words in association. This exercise can be a revelation to some people, and reality shattering for others.
 
You must never assume that other people will interpret those 7 words the same way you do; that is what makes them weird. These words are some of the most commonly misunderstood words when wrangling with relationships, and at the same time these are the same words that are significantly used in correlations to define what is a relationship.
 
If you want to learn more about how to understand and master your dating and relationship skills: Learn more about self awareness and self actualization by checking out the coaching workbooks

For Men:  I'M A MAN THAT'S MY JOB WORKBOOK EBOOK

For Women: 
I'M A WOMAN, IT'S MY TIME EBOOK

Learn the Complete  The Emotional Needs Mastery System


Check out the Benefits of COACHING Video