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Nice Guy Dating Podcast is a podcast and web show that will help YOU start finishing first with women. It features the most inspiring and successful experts in the field of personal development, mixed with rants from Kevin Alexander about his personal journey through dating, answers to some of your most pressing questions, and even success stories from guys just like YOU on Nice Guy Nation. Produced and Hosted by Kevin Alexander
Published on Jul 2, 2016, E236: Save Her From Jerks with Frank Kermit
Here are some things you’ll discover in this show: What inspired Frank to turn his life around from not being good with women to having the kind of life he wants to live Why Frank chose to change his life rather than other options that he took before How Frank started interviewing the people who appeared to have a great love life and what he learned Why Frank learned the art of knowing what you want and going out to get it What makes a guy a jerk, and why some girls may be attracted to them What it might mean when you want to save a girl from a jerk, and it’s not what you think Why some women will leave a relationship just out of boredom What you can do to steal a girl away from a jerk
Here are some things you’ll discover in this show: What inspired Frank to turn his life around from not being good with women to having the kind of life he wants to live Why Frank chose to change his life rather than other options that he took before How Frank started interviewing the people who appeared to have a great love life and what he learned Why Frank learned the art of knowing what you want and going out to get it What makes a guy a jerk, and why some girls may be attracted to them What it might mean when you want to save a girl from a jerk, and it’s not what you think Why some women will leave a relationship just out of boredom What you can do to steal a girl away from a jerk
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Men’s Dating Mastery or simply MDM is a podcast dedicated to helping men improve their success in dating, sex and relationships by interviewing true subject matter experts. Coaches, psychologists, sexologists, researchers, style consultants, anyone with useful and actionable insight is invited to the show. While there are several core principles (read below) that guide the content produced by MDM, MDM does not subscribe to any particular ideology or push it on its listeners. Instead, it seeks to uncover the truth wherever it may lie. As such, no topic is off the table and all perspectives are welcome so long that they stand to enrich the lives of men and do so with integrity and without malice.
Alec Chase interviews Frank Kermit, Emotional Needs of Women part 2
Published on Jul 3, 2015, In Part 2,
Frank Kermit explains the remaining 6 to 10 of the 10 emotional needs of women and how through his actions, a man can either meet or violate them. In addition, Frank explains how he was able to establish multiple open relationships with women who had previously never practiced polyamory.
Frank Kermit explains the remaining 6 to 10 of the 10 emotional needs of women and how through his actions, a man can either meet or violate them. In addition, Frank explains how he was able to establish multiple open relationships with women who had previously never practiced polyamory.
Alec Chase interviews Frank Kermit, Emotional Needs of Women part 1
Published on Jun 17, 2015, In Part 1,
Frank Kermit explains the first 1 to 5, of the 10 emotional needs of women and how through his actions, a man can either meet or violate them. To understand how they work, Frank explains that emotional needs are what a person responds to, not what they like. He also explains “Mother Lover Theory” which, underpins how a woman responds to a man’s behavior in context of each emotional need.
Frank Kermit explains the first 1 to 5, of the 10 emotional needs of women and how through his actions, a man can either meet or violate them. To understand how they work, Frank explains that emotional needs are what a person responds to, not what they like. He also explains “Mother Lover Theory” which, underpins how a woman responds to a man’s behavior in context of each emotional need.
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19 dating experts to be interviewed for a new Internet television program entitled The Men's Room produced by LifeForce TV and hosted by Mark Sparks.
Men's Room Seminar - Frank Storytelling For Dates
Date: August 26, 2010, Title: Men's Room Webinar - Frank Kermit and Mike Dawson
Frank Kermit is a guest on the Men's Room Webinar. Kermit, joins producer Mike Dawson and they talk about Frank Storytelling.
Frank Kermit is a guest on the Men's Room Webinar. Kermit, joins producer Mike Dawson and they talk about Frank Storytelling.
Men's Room Seminar - Building a Persona (Inner Game)
Date: July 29, 2010, Title: Men's Room Webinar - Frank Kermit, Mark Sparks, Mike Dawson
Frank Kermit is a guest on the Men's Room Webinar. Kermit, joins Mark Sparks and Mike Dawson and they talk about building a persona and modeling new beliefs and behaviors to integrate into your personality.
Frank Kermit is a guest on the Men's Room Webinar. Kermit, joins Mark Sparks and Mike Dawson and they talk about building a persona and modeling new beliefs and behaviors to integrate into your personality.
Mens Room Season 2 - The Emotional Needs of Men
Date: March, 2010, Title: Men's Room TV Season 2Frank Kermit is recorded for two full episodes in Season 2 of The Men's Room. In this episode Frank talks about The Emotional Needs of Men. What’s covered in this interview:
-What the purpose of qualifying a women is and how to do it
-Setting up categories of women based on what you want
-How specific criteria can lead to easy conversation topics
-What value matching is and how it’s a fast way to figure out in a woman is worth your time
-The 10 emotional needs of men and how being aware of them can save your relationships
-How to know yourself before you begin qualifying others
-The distinction of how men and women see sex as it relates to their emotional needs
-How to experiment sexually if you’re not sure what you like in bed
-What the most dangerous emotional need is
-The two principals that creating attraction is based on
-The frustration circle and how to avoid it in your own life
-The ‘friend zone’ and how it’s actually a sign of disrespect towards you
-The number one rule of a monogamous relationship
-Becoming aware of how your mother raised you and how it’s impacting your relationships
-The red flags that women can display that you should be aware of
-What the purpose of qualifying a women is and how to do it
-Setting up categories of women based on what you want
-How specific criteria can lead to easy conversation topics
-What value matching is and how it’s a fast way to figure out in a woman is worth your time
-The 10 emotional needs of men and how being aware of them can save your relationships
-How to know yourself before you begin qualifying others
-The distinction of how men and women see sex as it relates to their emotional needs
-How to experiment sexually if you’re not sure what you like in bed
-What the most dangerous emotional need is
-The two principals that creating attraction is based on
-The frustration circle and how to avoid it in your own life
-The ‘friend zone’ and how it’s actually a sign of disrespect towards you
-The number one rule of a monogamous relationship
-Becoming aware of how your mother raised you and how it’s impacting your relationships
-The red flags that women can display that you should be aware of
Men's Room Season 2 - Great First Dates
What’s covered in this interview:
-How to be your best self on the first date
-A great technique to show off your best features that will build a connection with her
-What your first date absolutely HAS to have
-Rules for success on a first date
-What to make sure you avoid on a first date to ensure she’ll see you again
-Great conversation topics that she’ll remember you by
-How to make one date feel like multiple dates so you can build comfort faster
-Being aware of setting precedents on first dates
-How to qualify a women to determine whether or not you want a first date with her
-Frank’s thoughts about kissing on a first date – it may surprise you
-The Eskimo kiss technique
-Observing the sexual dynamic on a first date and how to navigate it
-The rules of dating as a teenager vs dating as an adult and how things change
-Your obligation on a first date, and how to make sure she knows you’re interested in her
-The killer line to give her if she’s trying to put you in the friend zone
-Sex and the first date, and whether you should be aiming for it or not
-What the last location on a first date must have
-Thing you should have in your home for seduction
-Eliciting states in her to bring up powerful emotions of seduction
-How to get rid of the stigma of taking her to your place on the first date
-A fun game to play on your first date that can spark hours of conversation
-A game you can play while speed dating that will allow you to get to know her very fast
-Pulling out her hot words that you can use back on her later
-The 3 million dollar question to discover her priorities
-How to be your best self on the first date
-A great technique to show off your best features that will build a connection with her
-What your first date absolutely HAS to have
-Rules for success on a first date
-What to make sure you avoid on a first date to ensure she’ll see you again
-Great conversation topics that she’ll remember you by
-How to make one date feel like multiple dates so you can build comfort faster
-Being aware of setting precedents on first dates
-How to qualify a women to determine whether or not you want a first date with her
-Frank’s thoughts about kissing on a first date – it may surprise you
-The Eskimo kiss technique
-Observing the sexual dynamic on a first date and how to navigate it
-The rules of dating as a teenager vs dating as an adult and how things change
-Your obligation on a first date, and how to make sure she knows you’re interested in her
-The killer line to give her if she’s trying to put you in the friend zone
-Sex and the first date, and whether you should be aiming for it or not
-What the last location on a first date must have
-Thing you should have in your home for seduction
-Eliciting states in her to bring up powerful emotions of seduction
-How to get rid of the stigma of taking her to your place on the first date
-A fun game to play on your first date that can spark hours of conversation
-A game you can play while speed dating that will allow you to get to know her very fast
-Pulling out her hot words that you can use back on her later
-The 3 million dollar question to discover her priorities
Men's Room Season 1 on DVD!
Now you can get the first season of the Men's Room on DVD. The 4-Disc set features all 20 episodes of the show including three never before seen bonus features, including: 1) A candid conversation with Mark Sparks about the making of the show and some inside information of what he learned through the process. 2) A 25 minute unreleased interview with sex expert Josey Vogels on the value of sex and communication in a relationship. 3) A montage of deleted clips from the first season including stories from Frank Kermit that didn't make the first cut. Frank Kermit is the ONLY guest to appear in two full episodes of Season I of the Men's Rooms Series. And they STILL had enough footage left over to include Frank in the bonus section of the DVD.
Men's Room Season 1 Episode 20 - Deep Inner Game
February 18, 2009. Episode #20, Final Episode of Season 1. Frank Kermit returns to the Men's Room with some advanced inner games tips. Frank Kermit defines the term "inner game", how to get a woman to stick around if you like her, working backwards to find out what you want in life, teaches both men and women why they each are the prize through powerful beliefs you should hold about yourself, what 'creative avoidance' is and how to redirect your focus, creating new behaviors for yourself that produce positive results, how a behavior turns into a belief, how belief turns into a instinct, how to control your fear, and how to break your negative patterns. Frank Kermit also covers the biggest difference between a guy with his inner game together and a guy without. This episode covers topics from his book I'm a Man, That's My Job.
Men's Room Season 1, Episode 2 - Why Women Test (Emotional Needs)
Broadcast: October 8th 2008. Episode #2, Frank Kermit talks about some of the experiences he went through during his development with how he went from loser to seducer. Why women test men and how men can deal with them. Why it's important to find high quality women and keep them and what woman's 10 emotional needs are and how to satisfy them. This interview covers topics presented in Frank Kermit's books From Loser to Seducer and Everything Out Of Her Mouth is a Test.
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Lucia is a Dating and Relationship Expert whose intent is to entertain, educate and enlighten. Known throughout major media as a "Cougar Expert", Lucia defends and coaches older women who are dating and in relationships with younger men. In addition to her Cougar expertise she also produces an internet podcast radio show, writes a weekly column, has authored a book and has appeared regularly on multiple talk shows including The Tyra Banks Show and The Dr. Phil Show. To learn more about Lucia please visit http://www.theartoflove.net/.
The Goodbye Show
Date: February 10, 2013, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia
Frank Kermit makes his 6th and final appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. This marks the last episode of this podcast as Lucia hosts her Good Bye Show. Frank Kermit, the guest holding the record for most appearances is interviewed for a brief good bye interview.
Frank Kermit makes his 6th and final appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. This marks the last episode of this podcast as Lucia hosts her Good Bye Show. Frank Kermit, the guest holding the record for most appearances is interviewed for a brief good bye interview.
Answering The "Should I have an Affair with Younger Man?" Question
Date: March 18, 2012, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia
Frank Kermit makes his 5th appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Lucia receives an email from a woman who has been married for 20+years but is sexual unsatisfied and is thinking about having an affair with a much younger man renting their basement. Lucia posted this question on Facebook, and Frank responded in a way that Lucia invited Frank to come on air for the second half of her show.
Frank Kermit makes his 5th appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Lucia receives an email from a woman who has been married for 20+years but is sexual unsatisfied and is thinking about having an affair with a much younger man renting their basement. Lucia posted this question on Facebook, and Frank responded in a way that Lucia invited Frank to come on air for the second half of her show.
Date: June 6, 2011 Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia
Frank Kermit makes his 4th appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk about an article that Lucia wrote regarding nice guys and why women like jerks. the article went viral and to help address a number of the responses from male readers, Frank and Lucia will dissect the article to figure out what the controversy is all about.
Frank Kermit makes his 4th appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk about an article that Lucia wrote regarding nice guys and why women like jerks. the article went viral and to help address a number of the responses from male readers, Frank and Lucia will dissect the article to figure out what the controversy is all about.
Date: September 19, 2010, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia
Frank Kermit makes his 3rd appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Making Monogamy Work. Who does monogamy hurt more - men or women? What are the rules of monogamy? Is there a difference between monogamy and commitment?
Frank Kermit makes his 3rd appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Making Monogamy Work. Who does monogamy hurt more - men or women? What are the rules of monogamy? Is there a difference between monogamy and commitment?
Date: July 25, 2010, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia
Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Emotional Needs of Women and Frank's book The Emotional Needs Analysis Workbook volume 1. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, it's because he's not satisfying one or more of her emotional needs. Find out what they are in this truly enlightening interview with Frank Kermit, relationship coach and author of, "The Emotional Needs Analysis Workbook".
Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Emotional Needs of Women and Frank's book The Emotional Needs Analysis Workbook volume 1. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, it's because he's not satisfying one or more of her emotional needs. Find out what they are in this truly enlightening interview with Frank Kermit, relationship coach and author of, "The Emotional Needs Analysis Workbook".
Date: June 6, 2010, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia
Frank Kermit is a guest on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Emotional Needs of Men and Frank's book The Emotional Needs OF MEN Analysis Workbook.
Frank Kermit is a guest on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Emotional Needs of Men and Frank's book The Emotional Needs OF MEN Analysis Workbook.
Frank Interviews Lucia
Episode #1010, Original Air Date: July 2010
Lucia is a Dating and Relationship Expert whose intent is to entertain, educate and enlighten. Known throughout major media as a "Cougar Expert", Lucia defends and coaches older women who are dating and in relationships with younger men. In addition to her Cougar expertise she also produces an internet podcast radio show, writes a weekly column, has authored a book and has appeared regularly on multiple talk shows including The Tyra Banks Show and The Dr. Phil Show
Lucia is a Dating and Relationship Expert whose intent is to entertain, educate and enlighten. Known throughout major media as a "Cougar Expert", Lucia defends and coaches older women who are dating and in relationships with younger men. In addition to her Cougar expertise she also produces an internet podcast radio show, writes a weekly column, has authored a book and has appeared regularly on multiple talk shows including The Tyra Banks Show and The Dr. Phil Show
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Known to millions as Dr. Love through the website AskDrLove.com, she has been delighting readers and audiences for three decades with her engaging blend of professional expertise, humor and ability to turn clinical psychobabble into easy-to-understand concepts that transform lives and heal relationships. Her methods have been featured on all the national networks, including CNN (who recently dubbed her their Resident Love Doctor!) NBC, CBS, VH1, Fox, on websites like WebMD, iVillage, Discovery.com, MSNBC.com, and in Cosmopolitan, Mens Health, Glamour, American Woman, Modern Bride, and Marie Claire, to name only a few. Her Ask Dr. Love radio show can be heard in Seattle on KKNW and on TalkZone, which broadcasts in 80 countries worldwide.
Women Worried They are Dating Closeted Homosexual Men
Date: November 5, 2014, Title: The Ask Dr Love Show
Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Ask Dr Love show. On this show Frank Kermit and Dr Jamie Turndorf talk about women who are worried and concerned that the men they are married to and dating are secretly homosexual and hiding in the closet. Also discussed are how women can spot a closet homosexual, what to do if she discovers the truth, and ways for her to avoid ever getting into such a situation.
Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Ask Dr Love show. On this show Frank Kermit and Dr Jamie Turndorf talk about women who are worried and concerned that the men they are married to and dating are secretly homosexual and hiding in the closet. Also discussed are how women can spot a closet homosexual, what to do if she discovers the truth, and ways for her to avoid ever getting into such a situation.
The Epidemic of Adult Male Virgins
Date: September 17, 2014, Title: The Ask Dr Love Show
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance on The Ask Dr Love show to talk about Adult Male Virgins. Why they exist, how to spot them, and how to help them.
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance on The Ask Dr Love show to talk about Adult Male Virgins. Why they exist, how to spot them, and how to help them.
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Date: November 2006, Title: Natradio.com interviews Frank Kermit
Description: Frank Kermit makes his second appearance on NatRadio, and was interviewed by Hugh, Irma, and Mark about his first two books, and his upcoming re-launch of Frank Talks.
Description: Frank Kermit makes his second appearance on NatRadio, and was interviewed by Hugh, Irma, and Mark about his first two books, and his upcoming re-launch of Frank Talks.
Before He Wrote From Loser To Seducer
Date: May 2006, Title: The Natradio's Susan interviews Frank Kermit
Frank Kermit is interviewed on natradio.com for the first time ever. On hand to interview Frank are Natradio's Hugh and the impulsive Susan. This interview was conducted while Frank lived in Montreal and was visiting Toronto. This interview happened BEFORE Frank wrote any of his books, and his books were still in the planning drafts stages.
Frank Kermit is interviewed on natradio.com for the first time ever. On hand to interview Frank are Natradio's Hugh and the impulsive Susan. This interview was conducted while Frank lived in Montreal and was visiting Toronto. This interview happened BEFORE Frank wrote any of his books, and his books were still in the planning drafts stages.
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Date: April 29, 2012, Title: Sex Talk LIVE! with Andrea Adams-Miller
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance to talk about the Emotional Needs of Men on this radio show broadcast on WBGU 88.1 FM. Andrea Adams-Miller MS, CHES, is considered The Leading International Authority in Healthy Relationships and Healthy Sexuality. She is known as The Sexuality Tutor and reveals the secrets to ignite the spark, fire, & passion in your relationships through keynote speaking, relationship consulting, seminars, and book/audio programs. Andrea, CEO & founder of www.igniteyourrelationship.com & http://www.sexualitytutor.com, is also an Award winning Radio Show Host. Andrea is often requested to share her coaching programs, her books and audio programs, and her consulting philosophies on the air for other radio show programs. Andrea has appeared on Oprah, The View, The Today Show, 20/20, CBS, PBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, WebMD, TIME Magazine, and is a popular radio and talk show guest, keynote speaker, and relationship consultant due to her exuberant energy, quick wit, and fabulous personality! These radio shows enlighten listeners all over the world from various disciplines in business to health to travel to entertainment. She can be heard live as the host of Sex Talk LIVE!, an international weekly radio show on WBGU 88.1 FM
Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance to talk about the Emotional Needs of Men on this radio show broadcast on WBGU 88.1 FM. Andrea Adams-Miller MS, CHES, is considered The Leading International Authority in Healthy Relationships and Healthy Sexuality. She is known as The Sexuality Tutor and reveals the secrets to ignite the spark, fire, & passion in your relationships through keynote speaking, relationship consulting, seminars, and book/audio programs. Andrea, CEO & founder of www.igniteyourrelationship.com & http://www.sexualitytutor.com, is also an Award winning Radio Show Host. Andrea is often requested to share her coaching programs, her books and audio programs, and her consulting philosophies on the air for other radio show programs. Andrea has appeared on Oprah, The View, The Today Show, 20/20, CBS, PBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, WebMD, TIME Magazine, and is a popular radio and talk show guest, keynote speaker, and relationship consultant due to her exuberant energy, quick wit, and fabulous personality! These radio shows enlighten listeners all over the world from various disciplines in business to health to travel to entertainment. She can be heard live as the host of Sex Talk LIVE!, an international weekly radio show on WBGU 88.1 FM
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Date: September 5, 2010, Title: "Love and Lipstick" Radio Show
Frank Kermit makes his first appearance on the Ottawa radio show "Love and Lipstick" on EZ Rock 99.7 FM hosted by Sue McGarvie. Sue has been a practicing Clinical Relationship Therapist in Ottawa since 1993. With degrees and coursework from Carleton, Concordia, Laurentian and Ryerson Universities in psychology, and reproductive medicine, Sue is one of Canada's leader in the field of women's relationships and hormonal health. Sue has counseled thousands of people from all over the Ottawa/Gatineau area. Frank was interviewed for a short piece on the use of Seduction in Relationships.
Frank Kermit makes his first appearance on the Ottawa radio show "Love and Lipstick" on EZ Rock 99.7 FM hosted by Sue McGarvie. Sue has been a practicing Clinical Relationship Therapist in Ottawa since 1993. With degrees and coursework from Carleton, Concordia, Laurentian and Ryerson Universities in psychology, and reproductive medicine, Sue is one of Canada's leader in the field of women's relationships and hormonal health. Sue has counseled thousands of people from all over the Ottawa/Gatineau area. Frank was interviewed for a short piece on the use of Seduction in Relationships.
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Stop talking about your ex
Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex
By Frank Kermit
So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This is going good. You start talking about personal interests. Then your date does it. Your date starts to talk about an ex...and it is not just a passing mention that is brief in nature.
Your date keeps talking about the ex, to the point where you decide that your date is likely still way too hooked on the ex to be emotionally available to be in a relationship with you. The date ends. You are disappointed because the search goes on to find a more suitable partner. Your date, that in fact, may be fully interested in seeing you again, is disappointed that you did not make any connection, and chances are, your date has no idea what he or she did to turn you off.
Talking constantly about an ex while on a date is a red flag. It is a turn off, because talking constantly about an ex is like resurrecting a ghost. When it comes to romantic endeavors, flesh and blood imperfect human beings simply cannot compete with the fantastical fantasy phantoms of someone's idealize past lover.
Those people who would be higher quality potential partners, likely have learned not to bother even trying to fight the ghosts and just walk away. When you are on a date, talk about the things you love and the values you embody, and leave your ex in the past.
Now, if the only meaningful life experiences you have to share are only associated with a particular ex, then take it as a sign that you need to stop waiting to have someone to try new things with, and head out on your own.
For example, if you love dancing but the only dancing stories you have are directly related to an ex, then consider going out dancing with friends, or even taking dance lessons by yourself so that you can meet new people. In this way, you explore your love of dancing, and can share stories about your love of dancing that will be separate from stories of your ex.
If you are still hooked on your ex, to the point where you will not give someone new a legitimate chance at your heart, at the very least be honest about it with the new person you are dating. When on a date, let the person know that you are recovering from a severely broken heart, BUT that should be the extent of any talk about the ex. This gives the other person the ability to make an informed choice for him or her self as to whether or not they want to continue trying with you.
Some people will be OK with it, and are just glad to have someone to spend time with and have some fun. Some people are looking for emotionally available people for a serious relationship and those people will bolt away fast. Some people are in exactly the same predicament as you and are thrilled that they are not alone in their misery, happy to have the company.
A date is NOT a time to be going into a therapeutic discussion. When you are on a date, focus on the person you are with and get to know that person and what role that person can play in your life (friend, lover, serious long term partner).
While you make getting to know the person a fun process, leave the discussions about your unresolved issues with the ex for when you come into the coach's office.
Frank Kermit
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The Symbol of Your Ex
When Your Ex Becomes a Symbol in Your Life
By Frank Kermit
We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. Whatever the symbol, or character-symbol, the purpose is to convey a meaning to an audience. Symbols have a way of reaching people. Whether it is the symbol of a dollar sign ($), horoscope Gemini sign, or colored ribbon remembrance, all symbols have the intent to carry on a meaning for the audience and if properly effective, a symbol leaves an emotional impact.
The ribbon is not just a piece of material but a testament to those that may have died from, or survived, breast cancer. The Gemini sign is not some doodle on a paper, but a means to connect to energies unknown that can influence our life's journey. The dollar sign is not merely to describe the concept of money and value, but may also represent a symbol of hardship, connecting to a memory of when someone did not have enough money to afford the basics; just as that same symbol of the dollar sign may represent a reminder of the power of what you can earn to someone else.
We do not just look at the Golden Arches. We making meaning of them and interpret deserving a break today, childhood, and singing about "two all-beef patties, special sauce, etc..." However the most powerful symbols are the ones that have some element of sentience to them...character symbols we recognize as people. From as far back as breakfast cereal commercials, we formed relationships with character symbols such as "Tony the Tiger", "Toucan Sam" and "Snap", "Crackle", "Pop". Where the Golden Arches reach their limits, "Ronald" can pick up the burger and carry it over the goal line to make the touchdown scoring an emotional impact.
But what if the clown that has become a symbol in your life happens to be a relationship ex who has come to represent everything that is wrong with you?
Have you ever struggled to get over an ex, even when you are the one that ended the relationship? Have you ever struggled to move on with your life, even though you know intellectually that your ex was completely wrong for you? Do you remember your ex and your relationship with your ex, as being so much better than it was, and can only be reminded of that fully when either an outside person points it out, or (gasp!) you rekindle with your ex and realize what a mistake you just made? Chances are that your ex has become a symbol for you.
Turning an ex into a symbol is not that difficult a process. If you spend way too much time fantasizing about your ex, or more specifically, fantasizing about how great your life would have been with your ex, you are effectively turning your ex into a symbol. Your ex, the real one, is human. Your real ex is a human with all the positive and negative traits that make a person human. Your real ex is a human that is as flawed as dinged as the rest of us. However, the symbol of your ex is perfect. The symbol of your ex is superbly attractive, says all the right things, responds to your every communication exactly the way you need it. In this way, the symbol of your ex could represent how wonderfully perfect you wish your life could be and no amount of reality, including a new relationship partner, or even your real ex, could ever live up to that.
If you feel any shame or guilt about the nature of your break up, the symbol of your ex could be something that continues to make you feel bad about yourself because the symbol of your ex could be a reminder of all the mistakes you think you made that caused you to feel the pain you are in during your heartbreak. At this point, the idea of reconciliation with your ex could be interpreted as the only way to correct the errors of your past and prove that you are forgivable. This of course does not pan out in the real world. If ever you do manage to get your ex back, even if you have healed that part of you that was in part responsible for the break up, your ex is still your ex. If you and your ex have both healed your broken parts, then you are essentially new people that may not be compatible. If only one of you has healed the broken parts, then the repeating behavior patterns of the other are still in effect and will take their toll on the relationship. No matter what anyone in the couple says...there are always two sides to every break up that each partner must accept responsibility for.
When trying to get over an ex, an important step of the process is to acknowledge the differences between your ex as the imperfect human being (the real ex) verses the symbol of your ex who you likely and unfairly compare to every new potential love that comes into your life. You do have a choice. Accept the reality and move on, or stay stuck on the fantasy of the ex...who never actually existed.
Frank Kermit
