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You Cursed or Making Bad Choices
Cursed or Bad Choices
by Frank Kermit
Sometimes I have clients who ask me if I think they may be cursed.
Bad incident, after bad incident, after bad incident can make a person feel that life is against him or her. I do want to state that some people just have rotten luck, and bad luck can play a factor in a person’s life once in a while.
However, if you ever wonder why all the bad things seem to always happen to you, then perhaps you need to consider taking some accountability for the choices you made along the way that brought you to this moment.
You are where you are because of a series of choices you made.
Financially broke?
You made choices to end up there.
Heartbroken?
You made choices to end up there.
Unhealthy?
You made choices that end up there.
For the record, I am guilty of this as well. I am not pointing fingers. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life that got me to where I am, and I am by no means perfect.
We ALL make some bad choices.
The key is to see if we can learn from the bad choices we made, by first identifying those choices and then making better choices.
Many years ago I got my heart stomped on over and over.
I made choices to give people a chance when there were signs that I should not have. I made choices to ignore the warning signs. I made choices to assume facts, instead of finding out the true facts.
I made choices to act on my feelings in the moment and accept poor behaviour of others because it hurt too much to pick myself up and move on.
Then one day, I made the choice of saying, “Never Again!”
And from that moment on, I started to make different choices.
Some were still the wrong choice.
Other choices were good choices, but not great choices, until I learned through life experience how to make the best choices for myself.
I could not be sure I was on the best path, but at least I made it a point to never again re-make the original choices that put me into the situation I ended up in.
To read all about the choices and changes I made, grab a copy of my autobiography From Loser To Seducer
Redemption is when you can trust yourself not to make the same mistakes again. At that moment of redemption, self-forgiveness is automatic and inner peace is the result.
So the next time you are asking yourself why bad things keep happening to you, please consider that you might not be cursed, but you do need to re-evaluate the choices you are making (or not making) to put you in a better place.
Frank Kermit
by Frank Kermit
Sometimes I have clients who ask me if I think they may be cursed.
Bad incident, after bad incident, after bad incident can make a person feel that life is against him or her. I do want to state that some people just have rotten luck, and bad luck can play a factor in a person’s life once in a while.
However, if you ever wonder why all the bad things seem to always happen to you, then perhaps you need to consider taking some accountability for the choices you made along the way that brought you to this moment.
You are where you are because of a series of choices you made.
Financially broke?
You made choices to end up there.
Heartbroken?
You made choices to end up there.
Unhealthy?
You made choices that end up there.
For the record, I am guilty of this as well. I am not pointing fingers. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life that got me to where I am, and I am by no means perfect.
We ALL make some bad choices.
The key is to see if we can learn from the bad choices we made, by first identifying those choices and then making better choices.
Many years ago I got my heart stomped on over and over.
I made choices to give people a chance when there were signs that I should not have. I made choices to ignore the warning signs. I made choices to assume facts, instead of finding out the true facts.
I made choices to act on my feelings in the moment and accept poor behaviour of others because it hurt too much to pick myself up and move on.
Then one day, I made the choice of saying, “Never Again!”
And from that moment on, I started to make different choices.
Some were still the wrong choice.
Other choices were good choices, but not great choices, until I learned through life experience how to make the best choices for myself.
I could not be sure I was on the best path, but at least I made it a point to never again re-make the original choices that put me into the situation I ended up in.
To read all about the choices and changes I made, grab a copy of my autobiography From Loser To Seducer
Redemption is when you can trust yourself not to make the same mistakes again. At that moment of redemption, self-forgiveness is automatic and inner peace is the result.
So the next time you are asking yourself why bad things keep happening to you, please consider that you might not be cursed, but you do need to re-evaluate the choices you are making (or not making) to put you in a better place.
Frank Kermit
No More Bad Choices
If you are tired of making bad choices in life, now is the time to get The Art of Calibration From Creepy To Charisma
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Are you cursed, or just making bad choices?
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Attention does not always equal love
When it's All About Attention
By Frank Kermit
April 26, 2016, updated on April 18, 2018
Attention does not equal love.
Attention does mean you get noticed more, however, even if the entire room notices you, that still does not guarantee that you will earn love that way.
In fact, depending on how you attempt to acquire that attention could get you the kind of attention where everyone wants to know about you, but no one wants to get to know you personally.
One of the issues I see in my coaching practice is trying to explain to some people that their attention seeking behaviors are hampering their initiatives to find love.
For example, when writing an online dating profile, trying to be too general so that you potentially attract the maximum amount of attention may get you more first dates, but will cause you to end up more alone in the long term.
When writing an online profile to be more specific to your realistic (not fantasy ideal) needs, you will likely attract less attention, but of the attention it does attract, it creates the best possible odds to find a legitimate connection.
Trying to get lots of attention from everyone, means you are potentially going to get less attention from the very individuals that could be your greatest loves.
Attention is not a bad thing.
Attention can be a great thing if it is the kind of attention that supports you, encourages you, empowers you, and brings you up.
Good attention can do those things, such as bringing attention to a great work you have done, or a strong endeavor that you are behind that is trying to get off the ground, or even getting attention as a means of appreciation for your good deeds.
Attention can also be a means of self-sabotage, when a person seeks attention so desperately, they are willing to settle for bad attention instead of no attention.
For example, the teenager who is neglected at home and not getting enough good forms of attention to the point of feeling ignored (no attention) may start acting out in destructive ways to get bad attention (attention to misdeeds).
It can be important to take a moment and ask yourself about what type of attention you are currently seeking?
Are you seeking good attention that will attract the kinds of people in your life to move you forward?
Are you seeking bad attention, just for the sake of getting any attention, regardless of the consequences?
Are you trying to keep yourself hidden away so that you are able to avoid attention, and reject any of the attention that you may get through happenstance?
Are you trying to get all the attention possible and hoping that by increasing the amount of attention you get, you also increase your chances of getting something at all?
Put your focus, not on getting all the attention you can in general, but rather, on getting the particular attention of those individuals that make all the work you put into attention getting worth it.
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If you are trapped in a repeating behavior pattern of seeking attention, and it is ruining every great love you ever had (you know, the ones you remember as the best thing that ever happened to you that you just had to screw up, then sign up for COACHING with Frank Kermit and fix this issue once and for all!
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Are your friends keeping you single?
Sabotage Between Friends
By Frank Kermit
April 8, 2016, updated on April 19, 2018
From what I have observed in my practice over the last 15 years, one of the most consistent external factors that will keep a person single, are the friends of that person.
I have seen so many people experience sabotage from their friends; specific actions that those friends took, that directly resulted in someone ending up single.
Here are some examples I have encountered over the years.
A young man feels his best male friend is spending too much time with his new girlfriend, so he manipulates their social circle to put pressure on his best male friend to break up with her, by claiming she is changing him when she is not.
A married woman is being coaxed by her recently divorced friends to come out to a club for a girls-night-out, and actively encourage her to cheat on her husband by pushing her to occupy the attention of the odd-man-out of the circle of males that have shown interest in the group of girls, in a subconscious attempt to have her lose her marriage and rejoin her girlfriends in the single world.
A man meets a new girl that he really likes and wants to date, but his friends all tell him he could do so much better than her, and his need for their approval costs him what could have been a very compatible partner, when they just do not want to lose their drinking buddy.
A girl jealous of all the male attention that her friend is getting from having lost weight starts to spread rumors that are designed to turn the guys off, and keep the guys focused on herself for more titillating information.
This is just a small sample of what actually happens.
Just to be clear, for the purposes of this article, jealousy is the feeling when someone feels threatened of losing something they feel they already have.
It does not matter if it is a real threat (like someone writing love letters to your partner and demanding that your partner leaves you), or if the threat is imaginary (you assume your partner is cheating when there is no evidence to support that theory and in fact your partner is faithful). Whether the threat is real or fantasy, the effects on your nervous system is still the same.
This is different from envy (which your friends can experience as well). Envy is when a person does NOT have something that someone else does have, and covets it.
A true friend is someone that wants to see you happy. Even if that happiness means you will be spending more time doing the things you love, and spending more time with a serious romantic partner, and less time with your friend.
If you are searching for love, it is best to keep in mind that your future long-term romantic partner is likely to replace your best friend if you seek to make a long-term relationship successful.
A true friend is OK with this.
Putting anyone, ahead of your life partner and children, even if that person has been your best friend since forever, is a predictor that the relationship will eventually end.
Friendship is important. It is just as important to know at what point you are not willing to have your long term happiness and success be sabotaged all in the name of maintaining a friendship.
Give a piece of your heart to your closest friend, but never to the point where that piece of your heart will cost you peace of mind for your future.
If you want to learn how to be a good friend, to properly help encourage the people you care about to move forward in their love lives, then you need to study How To Be The Ethical Seducer (or Seductress).
The program will teach you how to stay out of the way of others finding love, and more importantly will help you spot those of your so called "friends" that are actually manipulating you. There are many signs that you are being played for a fool. Learn them and never be taken advantage of, or for granted again.
The program will teach you how to stay out of the way of others finding love, and more importantly will help you spot those of your so called "friends" that are actually manipulating you. There are many signs that you are being played for a fool. Learn them and never be taken advantage of, or for granted again.
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