Blog of Frank Kermit of Frank Talks

5 Tips for Women for Dating A Male Porn Star

2/16/2017

5 Tips for Women for Dating A Male Porn Star

5 TIPS FOR DATING A MALE PORN STAR
by Adhimu Stewart aka Malcolm Lovejoy

Gather 'round, good people!

Ladies, women, girls (over 18!) and all femme-identified individuals in the world that have this dream: I can show & tell you what it's like to have a relationship with a male porn star!

Are you sick of throwing up in your mouth a little bit every time you listen to the opinions and thoughts of the average man trying to pick you up at the bar or in the club? Are you fed up with being catcalled and wolf-whistled when you walk down the street or go to the mall? Are you infuriated by the overwhelming mountain of obnoxious and offensive texts and emails you get every day in your Plenty of Fish/OKCupid/Tinder/Facebook/online profile, and you're just about ready to delete every account and picture you ever put on the internet?

Well, don't do it just yet, please!

Yes, I know: the state of modern men is outright dangerous to erotically engage with at worst, if not rather atrocious, depressing, uninspiring, and downright frustrating at best. Dating is a disaster zone where few people escape with their heart and happiness intact, and courtship rituals in Western civilization have drastically decomposed since the days of cowboys and dainty misses, where a man could not even speak to a woman in public if he had not been formally introduced to her, or she didn't wave him over with one of the many signals she possessed in her arousal arsenal, whether it be fanning her face rapidly, or dropping her handkerchief demurely.

In 2017, the male courtship ritual might consist of sending a dick pic and a "I'm ready, u up?" text message at 2:13 AM to any woman he can! But, (pardon to use a cliche) NOT ALL MEN are guilty of such callous, selfish and dysfunctional relationship-building behaviour!

I, Adhimu Stewart, am a Canadian feminist porn actor, and Professional Love Maker. I have sex with women on camera, and with people for their private fantasies off-camera, too! So, let me tell you what it's like to have a relationship with a porn star (in the making), for those who are curious!

Sexy Revelations:

1) No two porn stars are exactly alike, therefore no two relationships with porn stars will be alike.

Some porn stars specialize in penis size, muscles, domination, team-sex scenes, rough talk & action, or romantic, story-telling driven vignettes. And who he is on camera may only be a percentage of who he is off-camera! I know that there are things I do privately that I have chosen not to do sexually and publicly, for my own reasons. Every man may be the same, to a lower or higher degree. Will he want different sex with you than he has at work? Probably. Will you want to have a personalized experience with a porn star at home? Maybe it can happen! This may be one of the perks to dating a porn star. And this is what is called: a BENEFIT. Such as the benefits of bliss I felt when I recently made love to a ballerina!! So, yes. It will probably be quite different than any other relationship you have ever had. His average day will probably consist of him being naked, if not him having sex with someone, if not more than one person... so there's that.

2) Being with a porn star may take you to your sexual physical limits... and maybe past them!!

Have you ever played hockey with an NHL player? Ever played basketball with an NBA star? Hell, have you ever played tennis with a Wimbledon champion? The experience is guaranteed to be something more intense than just playing a little pick-up game with your neighbors. Your sex, your conversations about sexual boundaries, your understanding of possible relationships, even your every day little interactions are probably going to be much more extreme than usual. I consider myself a sexual athlete, and I like to work up a sweat when I throw down in the bedroom (or bathroom, or living room, or...) Being with a porn star may take you to your sexual physical limits... and maybe past them!! Know yourself, and what you can handle. And if you want to take yourself beyond the limits you've felt with all previous men... then buckle up, and get ready to feel fantasy on a deeper level than you've ever known... Overtime in Game 7 of the Playoffs type magic!

3) It could become high-profile, even when you think you're low-key.

I was walking with a lover to an event we had planned on attending together, and within 5 minutes, I had seen three different people from different places and circles of connection. My partner at the time was like "You are so popular! Is there ever a day when it's not like this for you? Can you go anywhere and be alone?" To which I replied "Not really!" So, being with someone that does porn MIGHT reduce your public incognito possibilities, if you are walking around with them. If they are very famous, you may get your own fame just by social media association. As we neared this event, I actually was tangled between three different lovers/former lovers/possible lovers all at once in the same subway station! I introduced them all to each other, and then laughed. #pornlife

4) Do you care what people think?

It's one thing to have your privacy threshold reduced... but it's another thing to be exposed to more popularity for dating a porn star, and NOT be comfortable with it! There are levels to this biz. Do you care if your parents know? Do you care what your boss thinks? Do you mind if your drinking and smoking buddies are privy to this info? Does it matter to your extended family if you are dating someone "like that"? I'm not a fool. I am a lucky guy and I'm a evolved intellectual as well. I know most parents wouldn't be completely and totally comfortable with their daughter bringing home a porn star and saying "Mom and Dad, meet Malcolm Lovejoy! Yes, he is a nice guy. Where does he work? Oh, you can see his work online!" We are not living in a society that enlightened as yet, but I'm working on getting everyone there (have you seen my work? I'm not ashamed of it at all! But, I digress.) If you care what people think about your relationship, whether it's your parents or your friends on Facebook, then you will have to work that out internally, if your happiness is worth public judgement (hint: IT ALWAYS IS. But that's for you to choose...)

5) Are you the jealous type of girlfriend?

Because if you are, your future with someone who has sex with other people for a living, then... you either are going to have to get REALLY GOOD at turning a blind eye and ear to where your boyfriend was all day yesterday or last night, or start accepting that maybe, just maybe, sex can be like any and every other human interaction humanity conducts every day. There is no reason that porn stars can't be treated like a gynecologist treats their patients or actors treat their co-stars. Porn is a job, and it is very possible (actually, it's pretty necessary and vital) to leave work at work when you go home at the end of the day of shooting porn. I don't have any on-going relationships with any of the lovely women I have shot porn with in the last 6 months. We are friends, and I may spend time with them in other ways, which is nice, but I don't mix business and pleasure in that way too often. I'd like to with a few porn stars, but I understand why many don't. It gets complicated, but it it manageable if you are honest. Every question a lover wants to know about my porn life, I will tell her only one answer: the truth. I have nothing to hide. I show my most recent STI tests to anyone that wants to know if I'm clean. I admit whether I shot a scene with or without condoms. Some days on a porn set don't even involve any penis-in-vagina sex! So, you never know what kind of day it will be, thus the jealousy can be taken apart through moment-to-moment scenarios. I'm coming home to you, and I'm not lying to you about anything I've done, so I promise to stay faithful to giving you love, passion, friendship, trust, joy and honesty. And TRUST ME, there are FEW things more sexy than being together with your partner and watching a porn movie they made... then getting inspired by it to do your own hot sexy stuff right after watching it!

That's just the tip of the iceberg of being with a porn star.
But I'm not your average porn star, so smile mileage may vary.

If you want to know more, just ask me!

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: mindbendermind
Facebook: Dr. Malcolm Jackson Lovejoy

In Love and Joy,
Malcolm aka Adhimu Stewart

"Malcolm Lovejoy is the porn star of the future. A renaissance man like no other in adult entertainment, he is a romantic enthusiast on levels that would make Casanova proud. His feminist-focused approach to all things pornographic pushes his work into a category unlike most men in porn, as Malcolm's passion for providing multi-orgasmic satisfaction for his partners before spending time trying to give a money shot, his unparalleled oral skills, tender touch and ultra-athletic action-packed sex style makes Malcolm's porn a beautiful vision to behold for everyone lucky enough to see it! And in his first 2 years of filming, he has explored a wide variety of adult content, from heterosexual pleasure, to bondage & submissive play, female ejaculation scenes, solo masturbation, transgender scenes, sci-fi sex, pornographic music videos, and so much more. With over 50 scenes filmed thus far, and more on the way, his plans for 2017 and beyond are nothing but bring more of Malcolm Lovejoy's boundless beauty and sacred sexuality to the world for all people to be endlessly educated and entertained by..."

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Coming Out in OUTober?

10/13/2016

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coming out of the closet

Revealing the Secret of Your Sexual Orientation
By Frank Kermit

I recently watched a YouTube video that one of my colleagues sent me, as an example of what may happen to a young adult (even a teenager) who publicly declares to his or her family, their homosexual sexual orientation.

As I told my colleague, it saddens me that such intolerance still exists, and that violence can occur within a family structure. However, this is nothing new.

Probably, what is likely the worst element of that video is that it seems to imply (at least to me) that the young man in this video was led to believe he could trust his stepmother with his secret and she fed him a false sense of support, only for her to refuse to support him when he came out to the rest of his family.

The young man in the video was living with his grandparents, and when they disowned him and told him to move out, the young man asked to live with his step-mom and dad, and they also refused him. By the end of the video the young man is physically attacked by his step-mom and verbally insulted by his own father. It is very sad indeed.

In my practice, I sometimes deal with adults who are still learning about their sexual orientation. Some are questioning if they are straight or gay. Some are not interested in choosing sides as they are attracted to both genders and come to see me about figuring out what kind of relationship they can structure with a long term partner and what is realistically possible.

Still others find they are attracted to all genders, transgender individuals, and even some fetish sexual practices (they may occasionally refer to themselves as pansexual).

When the question comes up, as to how out these individuals should be about their evolving sexuality the answer I give tends to be along the lines of balancing what you think you may get from it, and what it is going to cost you.

In a perfect world, everyone would be able to be completely open about their views, about their ideas, and about their sexual orientations without any fear of consequences or repercussions. However, it is not a perfect world, and depending on where you live, and whom you may take a chance in trusting, it could also be a very dangerous world.

So if you are in a position where you want to share a secret of yours to the world, and you cannot predict how others may react to you, here are some tips to keep in mind.

First, you are under no obligation to ever reveal a truth about yourself if you will be on the receiving end of violence or abandonment that could lead to your life being threatened. If you are living with people that may kick you out into homelessness, and you have no means of living independently, then do not reveal your secret.

If you have nowhere to go, or if you are going to be attacked and left on the street to fend for yourself, then wait until the time comes when you are independent enough that even if you lose people in your life, your basic survival will not be threatened.

Second, although fully accepting yourself is part of a healing process, and loving yourself despite others intolerance and disapproval is a must for your own balanced emotional well being, that does not mean you have to put yourself in any position where you will be harassed or victimized all in the name of self-love.

Part of self-love is about never putting yourself in harms way. There are times when publicly announcing self-acceptance cannot be held off until you are free from oppression, but it is always important to pick and choose those battles. Use good judgment about when that time is.

If you have any doubt about how the people around you would react to your outing yourself, hold off for now. There will come a time in the future when it will be safe for you to express yourself. Until then, stay safe, and work towards the day that you will never have to be dependent for your survival on people who would just as easily abandon you, for you being true to yourself.

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Frank on Newlywed Nearly Dead TV Show

7/21/2016

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On the verge of a marriage meltdown? Newlywed, Nearly Dead? is coming to the rescue. Couples that drive each other crazy receive a big dose of tough love from marriage expert Gary Direnfeld. Also a variety of other Relationship Experts and Self Improvement types are invited in on a per episode basis and are matched up with their skill base, and the particular needs of the couple. Newlywed Nearly Dead? aims to lower North America's divorce rate one couple at a time.

50 Shades of Frank Kermit, Couples Coaching and Intro to BDSM

Date: July 27, 2009, Title: Newlywed, Nearly Dead?
A nationally broadcast television program on Slice TV.

Episode# 3034 Lisa and Mark started off really great in their relationship, but a few personality quirks and some personal crisis have had their toll on their relationship. Newlywed, Nearly Dead? invites Frank Kermit a Relationship Expert and his teachings of Emotional Needs to give a little guidance to their love life. Frank Kermit joins Lisa and Mark for some private Couples Coaching.

Reviews of the Couple Mark and Lisa

Review by Lisa
MARK IS A MAN AGAIN. Mark has definitely stepped up a lot, and turned into the man he once was. Everything has definitely shifted, and it has become more of an adult relationship. The challenge was for Mark to learn to step up and be a man and learn to seduce me mentally again, which he has somehow lost down the lines of our relationship. It was very beneficial because Frank actually knew what I wanted before he met me and he was right on with what he needed from Mark.
When we did the exercise I could really feel that that is what I need from Mark. I need him to be more of a man in control of himself. And he showed that. Throughout the exercise Frank was coaching Mark from a different area with a microphone in his ear. Just telling him things a woman would like. Mark was responding. Sort of doing a little bit of his own, but listening to instruction from Frank and it was very good. It was very beneficial. I was enjoying it. I was not uncomfortable at all because I knew that Frank was not going to make us go past any of our boundaries. I was quite comfortable with the scenario. It was very beneficial. It was exactly what I needed. It was more the kind of relationship I want to have in the bedroom with Mark. We used to have that kind of relationship, but somewhere down the road it stopped. I needed that boost in him. I needed that confidence in him, and know that he can not talk like a boy in the bedroom and he has to be like a man or else it turns me off. So it completely helped us because he has not acted like a boy at all, even in the bedroom, and I have been more turned on than anytime! I loved what happened in the bedroom! I loved what he was doing to me! I absolutely felt safe.
I felt like he was going to do nothing bad to me...only what I wanted him to do. I definitely felt like he was a man. He was not a boy in there with me. He was a man, and thats what I wanted. It did not feel like authentic Mark, but the whole challenge was that Frank told us we have to develop our own technique and Mark has to be the kind of man he is going to be. Those were just ways he would seduce a woman. Mark has to come up with his own identity in the bedroom. It does not have to be exactly what Frank did. But Frank was teaching us how to tap into that again. I definitely feel it changed Mark. I know that he said it was very beneficial to him. I think that it got him out of the rut because it made him feel like he is a man again. He does not have to act like a little boy. And I think that is what he is been wanting but he just did not know how to go about and do it. As much as I tell him, it was not the way he needed to be told. He was not hearing what I was saying. He needed someone else to come along and tell him how to tap into my emotions rather than the things he used to do.
Frank sort of taught me that if Mark is going sort of in the right direction of what I am looking for, then to not be critical of it. There are ways to actually show him what I want, or what I am not responding to rather than just come out and say it. I was not aware that that is what I was doing before. It did help me as much as it helped Mark. My favorite part of it was actually that I do not have to be in control anymore. I can actually allow Mark to have control in the bedroom. My favorite thing about the challenge was just letting go and letting Mark actually be the man that I have always wanted him to be. I know it is in there. It has been in there before, we have just lost that in the last little while. It was nice to know that he is learning how to tap into my emotions and I do not have to work. I can just let go and be free.
I think the biggest thing before was that I was always turned off because he was a little boy. Frank actually taught him how to remain a man throughout the entire evening. So, it has been great. And No it was not hard for me at all. It is what I have been wanting. After Frank left it got hot and steamy. It was wonderful! I am definitely going to continue being a woman and not being his mother.

Review by Mark
I think the purpose of Frank Kermit's session was to just bring me back when we first met. He just lead me through and gave me some good pointers, and he really opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong, and how I was making her feel. Hey, it was great. It was amazing. In the beginning it was weird. Lisa and myself were in the bedroom. Just trying to bond in a sexual manner. I had an earpiece, and he was speaking to me from another room. And just basically going through some techniques that would work and some seduction techniques. In the beginning it was a little weird. It worked out great. And she really got into it and its made a difference already. I think it brought me back to the beginning in our relationship, and that's how our sex life was like. In the end we were both having fun. And I think that was the point. She was responding pretty well to the whole situation. I think that was what she needed. She was right into that.
We have kind of lost touch with the whole, the way we used to be. I would say our sex life is back on track this week. We already had a couple times in the bedroom and it was pretty good. I would say we are on the right track anyway. Yah. I have taken a little of Frank lessons and applied it to my sex life. Its made a difference. I would say the seducer challenge was my favorite. I enjoyed it the most. I enjoyed it the most because it brought me back to where I was in the beginning. Somewhere down the line I missed. I just became a totally different person for our sex life and now it is enjoyable again. And now it is enjoyable again; experimenting and having fun in the bedroom, and exactly what we want. I did not ever think it was going to...our sex life would improve so quickly. Its definitely done a 180%.
For sure. Talking to Frank and listening to him. He just amazing. Dead on every aspect. He really knows what he is talking about. And I believe him 100%. He is definitely a master at seduction. I trust him 100%. I definitely got my Mojo back!...Thanks to Frank.

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