Kevin Jackson is the author of the book Survive Her Affair, and founder of the site: www.soyourwifecheated.com Kevin Jackson has a unique gift to help men heal from their wife's infidelity. (At least, that is what hundreds of happy customers have to say.) Since late 2010, Kevin has been teaching men around the world how to survive their wife's infidelity, no matter how hopeless their situations seem. Using his no-b.s. approach and unique male perspective on the healing process, he has become the leader in the field of Affair Recovery For Men. Kevin's obsession with this topic began with a very personal experience of betrayal in his own life. He looked around for help to get through his own pain, but all he found were books and programs that were primarily for women. (And these books were full of examples of the man being the one who cheated... talk about sexist). Kevin used his knowledge of internet marketing to put up a website, and started helping men online navigate through the perilous waters of affair recovery. Quickly he had a loyal following and an online tribe. Kevin has leveraged his secrets and philosophies to help men in all 50 states, and from every walk of life. He is available for media interviews and appearances. Bonus Track for Survive Her Affair Date: August 2014, Title: Survive Her Affair Frank Kermit makes his 1st appearance. Kevin Jackson author and founder of Survive Her Affair, interviews Frank Kermit as part of a series of audio bonus to the purchase of his book. This is a 10 minute preview of the first interview for you to listen to, and get an idea of how men react to being cheated on by their wives.
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Lucia is a Dating and Relationship Expert whose intent is to entertain, educate and enlighten. Known throughout major media as a "Cougar Expert", Lucia defends and coaches older women who are dating and in relationships with younger men. In addition to her Cougar expertise she also produces an internet podcast radio show, writes a weekly column, has authored a book and has appeared regularly on multiple talk shows including The Tyra Banks Show and The Dr. Phil Show. To learn more about Lucia please visit http://www.theartoflove.net/. The Goodbye Show Date: February 10, 2013, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia Frank Kermit makes his 6th and final appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. This marks the last episode of this podcast as Lucia hosts her Good Bye Show. Frank Kermit, the guest holding the record for most appearances is interviewed for a brief good bye interview. Answering The "Should I have an Affair with Younger Man?" Question Date: March 18, 2012, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia Frank Kermit makes his 5th appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Lucia receives an email from a woman who has been married for 20+years but is sexual unsatisfied and is thinking about having an affair with a much younger man renting their basement. Lucia posted this question on Facebook, and Frank responded in a way that Lucia invited Frank to come on air for the second half of her show. Nice Guy or the Jerk? How do Women Choose? Date: June 6, 2011 Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia Frank Kermit makes his 4th appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk about an article that Lucia wrote regarding nice guys and why women like jerks. the article went viral and to help address a number of the responses from male readers, Frank and Lucia will dissect the article to figure out what the controversy is all about. All About Monogamy Date: September 19, 2010, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia Frank Kermit makes his 3rd appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Making Monogamy Work. Who does monogamy hurt more - men or women? What are the rules of monogamy? Is there a difference between monogamy and commitment? The Emotional Needs of Women Date: July 25, 2010, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia Frank Kermit makes his 2nd appearance on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Emotional Needs of Women and Frank's book The Emotional Needs Analysis Workbook volume 1. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, it's because he's not satisfying one or more of her emotional needs. Find out what they are in this truly enlightening interview with Frank Kermit, relationship coach and author of, "The Emotional Needs Analysis Workbook". The Emotional Needs of Men Date: June 6, 2010, Title: The Art of Love Podcast with Lucia Frank Kermit is a guest on The Art of Love Podcast, hosted by Lucia. On this show, Frank and Lucia talk the Emotional Needs of Men and Frank's book The Emotional Needs OF MEN Analysis Workbook. Frank Interviews Lucia Episode #1010, Original Air Date: July 2010 Lucia is a Dating and Relationship Expert whose intent is to entertain, educate and enlighten. Known throughout major media as a "Cougar Expert", Lucia defends and coaches older women who are dating and in relationships with younger men. In addition to her Cougar expertise she also produces an internet podcast radio show, writes a weekly column, has authored a book and has appeared regularly on multiple talk shows including The Tyra Banks Show and The Dr. Phil Show The Pregnancy Test Scam - But is it Real?
By Frank Kermit There is a disturbing trend that seems to be happening that involves pregnant women supplementing their income by selling positive pregnancy tests online to women who want to use the pregnancy testing device with a positive marking to possibly con their boyfriends or male lovers into proposing marriage. At least that is what the ads claim could happen. An ad on Craigslist claims that the expectant mother, "is selling used testing sticks for $25 each, saying she's been asked so many times, she had decided to start charging." In my own search I also found one on ebay with a listing description of: "Clear & simple brand positive pregnancy test. Done on day of postage. Good for a prank." Is this what it has really come too? Unable to empower herself into a committed relationship, and despite having the full freedom of choice to move on and find a new partner when the one she is with refuses to step up and take their relationship to the next level, that there are women who would rather stay with a man that continually rejects her such that she has to attempt to scam him into getting serious? I wonder at what point will the women, who are successful in getting a proposal with this ruse, turn around and realize they will have to keep the lie going? For example, to what lengths will she go to fake a miscarriage? Will she then try extra hard to get pregnant for real right after the proposal and fake being overdue the 40 week gestational period (assuming she gets pregnant at all)? Is this even something seriously considered by some women? If not, then what is the market that has such a high demand for these positive pregnancy tests (besides an entire audience that wants to prank their loved ones)? Mind you, when I see the number of women in my practice who waste years of their lives, as time runs out on their biological clocks, waiting for their male lovers and boyfriends to "change his mind", I have to believe it is more likely than not. At least these women are not "accidentally" forgetting to take their birth control pills as a means to get what they want (a pregnancy their male partners did not consent too). To the ladies that are actually buying the positive pregnancy tests as a means to trick your male sex partners into a proposal; if nothing else, consider this: When your boyfriend or male lover is not as interested in committing to you the way you would want him to commit, the best choice is to stop seeing him and find a man that wants to be with you. Trying to change the man you are with, or worse, having to scam him into that kind of commitment, will land you alone. If the truth of what you did coming out does not bring about your abandonment, then surely the repeating behavior pattern that this scam reflects will be your downfall. Frank Kermit The Ashley Madison Affair Re-thinking our relationships and the practice of monogamy By Frank Kermit Ashley Madison, a website that caters to individuals in seemingly monogamous relationships and who are looking for a discreet affair, has been hacked. This means that the discretion and secrecy promised to its membership has been compromised, with full personal information of customers now made publicly available for anyone to download them. The aftereffects, according to various media sources, include suicide of those exposed (at least two thus far attributed directly to the hack), cheating partners confessing their indiscretions to prepare partners for the fallout, a number of people targeted for extortion who are blackmailed into either paying up or having their information further exposed to family and friends, credit card cancellations to avoid illegal identity thefts, a growing number of lawsuits against the website and a big reward offered by the company that owns Ashley Madison to help catch the hackers responsible for the revelation. What is not so publicized is that not everyone uncovered in this scandal is a person in a monogamous relationship attempting to have a secret affair. Single men and women looking for casual sex with other singles do join this kind of site. Also overlooked are couples that agree to have some kind of non-monogamous relationship and find it easier to discover other open-minded individuals through a site like Ashley Madison rather than attempt to find discreet partners through other means. I wonder how some of the couples affected by this will cope. Affairs unto themselves do not necessarily end relationships. It is how a couple copes with the broken trust and how they examine the lack of fulfilling emotional needs that will determine whether or not their relationship will survive this challenging issue. In moments of crisis, we may find new opportunities to reach a level of honesty with ourselves and our partners that could put an end to behaviors of betrayal and potentially help rebuild our relationships on more solid foundations. Maybe it is time for some individuals to accept that monogamy is simply not something they are capable of or interested in pretending to exemplify anymore, or to recognize that they have taken their partner for granted and fostered extreme neglect that pushed them away. Perhaps what could be the most desirable outcome of this entire situation is that, with the right guidance, singles and couples struggling with fidelity may finally learn to be honest with others about their sexual needs and questioning whether they may or may not have neglected their partner’s needs, which led in part to their current predicament. Surely the one thing most people can agree on in the aftermath of this revelation is that, if so many people publicly identify as monogamous but aren’t actually practicing monogamy, then maybe we all need to re-think our relationships and expectations as a society regarding monogamy. One sure thing that my practice of coaching has proven time and time again is that people and relationships are much more complex than the sensationalism mass media would rather you focus on. More to the point, monogamy is not for everyone, and neither is a non-monogamous relationship. However, people can make either relationship structure work with the right partner. It takes being honest with themselves first, and learning to communicate their needs to their partners. One sure thing that my practice of coaching has proven time and time again is that people and relationships are much more complex than the sensationalism mass media would rather you focus on. While some in the public are praising the hacker group who committed this act in the name of some moral calling, I cannot help but wonder what their next target will be. Their motivation is based on what they find immoral, which means anyone doing anything that is counter to their personal code of ethics could be targeted. Will abortion clinics be next? Perhaps it will be hospital records, to reveal patient medical conditions because of some righteous stance on what diseases are more culpable to have than others, or government offices willing to file marriages (same-sex, inter-faith, inter-race, age-gap) that they disapprove of. Could we see a shaming campaign against sexually active adults who are members of regular dating websites? Perhaps disrupting legal proceedings will be next because some hackers out there feel that divorce proceedings are contrary to their code of ethics. Evidently, the hacker groups are powerful enough to carry about these threats. Something to think about if you happen to be amusing yourself with the effects of watching people’s lives unfold in the wake of the hacking of Ashley Madison. Frank Kermit Dating Your Friend's EX By Frank Kermit A question that comes up, more often than not from younger adults, than from older clients is: What are the rules about dating the ex of your friend? Younger people have more to consider when dating the ex of a friend. It is not just the loss of the friendship that is at risk, but it could cost him or her an entire social circle, and a reputation that could make their world much more challenging. Older people tend to be more independent, better able to stand up for themselves, and life experience has taught them that even the best of friendships may not last forever, and a successful loving relationship can actually be worth the risk of losing a friendship. With all that said, here are some tips about dating the ex of a friend. First, be mindful if your friend has any expectation of being asked permission. Some people really expect to be asked for permission before a friend dates his or her ex. That expectation also comes with the notion that if your friend says no, you will hold off dating the ex, no matter how you feel about that person. In my teachings, I let people know that no one, including your friends, need to approve of who you date, including if it is an ex of theirs. This is unrealistic, as by the time a new couple realizes there is something they want to explore, the time for permissions has likely already passed. However unrealistic, it can be quite popular with certain individuals. Second, some friends do not have the expectation that permission will be sought (that is good and realistic), but they may still have the inclination to expect that the new couple will reach out and tell the friend directly about the new relationship. Once again, this is not realistic as the relationship could have started spontaneously, or even started in secret to keep things less complicated in case things did not work out right at the beginning. Part of the problem is that friends tend to share way too many details about their love life with one another, that when something is not shared for any reason, it can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect. This is why the best course of action is to never get into the habit of sharing too many details about your love life with your friends. There are some things your friends do not need to ever know, and in truth, you are under no obligation to share such information. With that all said, if you are going to date the ex of a friend, and your friendship with that person is very meaningful to you, and is a friendship that you wish to make efforts to maintain, there is nothing wrong with reaching out to your friend, and letting your friend know that you and the ex have begun dating. Do you have to do it? No. Will this type of behavior automatically save or maintain your friendship? There is no guarantee. Could your new partner (the ex), be miffed at you talking to your friend in this way? Possibly. However, life is about making choices, and it is up to you to decide how you will choose to deal with this dating dilemma. If you are stuck, trying to figure out if you should withdraw from dating the ex of your friend, if you should do it in secret, if you should reach out and ask permission or just let your friend know directly what is going on, or if you should just date who you want to date, and accept the consequences no matter what happens, then consider this: If the situation were reversed, what are your expectations if a friend of yours ended up dating an ex of yours? At the very least, it is a starting point. Waiting For Your Partner To Change By Frank Kermit Can people change? Yes, people can change. If you are in a relationship with someone, and wondering if the person you are with can change, the answer is yes, most anyone can change, if the person can make the commitment to change, the capacity to see it through, and the relative motivation to stick to it through the change process (which can be very challenging at times). The question is not if the person you are with (or interested in being with) can change. The question you need to be asking is whether or not you wait for that person to change. The focus is always best directed on the things you can control such as your decision to stay or go, and not on the things you cannot control such as whether or not your partner actually makes a change. In my practice, I often find myself helping individuals shift their focus from trying to get a partner to change, to focusing instead on why the individual would seek out a partner that needs to perform some kind of change in order to make the relationship work. It can be an eye opening experience, and a hard shot to the ego, for individuals to realize they may be self sabotaging their chances at being in an emotionally healthy happily satisfying relationship with someone new, by always choosing to date people that must change in order for any relationship to function. When seeking a long-term partner, a key ingredient to relationship success is to find someone that you can take as is. If the person you are attracted too must change something in order to continue to be in a long-term relationship with you, it is best not to attempt to get serious with that person to begin with. You do not get serious with someone because of who that person may become in a few years time. You get serious with someone because of who he or she is RIGHT NOW. And if the person he or she is RIGHT NOW is not good enough for you, do not commit. Time is a resource that is irreplaceable and unreplenishable. When you hang around someone that is not ready or willing to change in order for your relationship to get serious or move to the next level, you are wasting your time. The time you lose lingering is time you will never get back. More importantly, it is time that you could have used to find someone that is ALREADY the person that you can have a serious relationship with RIGHT NOW. If you are dating someone that needs to change in order for the two of you to be more serious together, and your partner is dragging his or her heels about it, do not put your life on hold waiting for your partner to change. It is OK to have hope that your partner will change, but do not cut yourself off from meeting and dating new people, while you hope that the person you currently favor will change to meet your needs. Use the time your partner needs to change to explore all of your other relationship options. There are certain situations where waiting for a certain change in your partner to take your relationship to the next level makes sense. For example, waiting for both you and your partner to finish an education and get a career started before starting a family, is the kind of waiting for a partner to change that makes some sense, because there is already a willingness and existing commitment in place. However, there are certain decisions are too important to wait on such as moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having children, and other values individuals may consider very important such as moving to a new city, changing religion, getting sober, or legally ending a pervious relationship status. When everything else has been discussed, and you have acted reasonable with realistic expectations, and it is just a matter of taking that next step, and your partner is either not able, nor willing, then you may need to take some time for yourself to evaluate if your partner is worth the wait. Frank Kermit Ultimatums In Love By Frank Kermit Ultimatums can come up in any and all relationships. Even the best relationships can face a crisis point where an ultimatum is necessary and uttered. Ultimatums are not pleasant, neither for the person issuing it, nor for the person on the receiving end of it. However, if a relationship can get past the ultimatum, and resolve the crisis point, it can be one of the hurdles that will help the relationship survive into the future. An ultimatum is NOT a sign that you are with the wrong partner. If you find yourself in a position where you feel the need to issue an ultimatum to your partner, it tends to be a sign that you have not communicated your needs and boundaries directly enough. This is especially the case when the resentment or the desire to make the ultimatum has been brewing for quite some time. I often find in my practice that those people who fall into the category of "people pleasers" tend to shy away from conflict and then, after the frustration builds up, will explode with anger and ultimatums, in part because, the build up became so overwhelming it was too painful not to deal with their fear of conflict. If these individuals would have communicated with their partners as the issues came up, instead of shying away from discussing topics that may be momentarily unpleasant, the entire blow up process may have never come to pass. Some of the more common ultimatums that I see in my practice are with couples that are either struggling to move to the next level of commitment (becoming exclusive, start living together, getting engaged, setting the wedding date, having children) or those couples that are facing some kind of perceived threat (staying in touch with an ex who will not give up trying to rekindle). However, an ultimatum can be about anything that one partner seriously requires a change with that without complying with said ultimatum, might bring about the desire to end the relationship. Some couples want a partner to take better care of health issues (like quitting drugs) and others demand a change in lifestyle, and even a move to a completely different home. The ultimatum itself is actually less important than the way it is communicated. If you are going to issue an ultimatum, be sure to stay calm, be direct, be clear and firm about what you need changed and why it is very important to you. No screaming, no name calling, no personal attacks. Start off by telling your partner that you want to set aside some time to talk about something important to you and to schedule it when you feel your partner would be most receptive (such as a Saturday night after a day of rest, instead of a Monday morning just before a big presentation at work). If you are on the receiving end of an ultimatum, be sure to stay calm, listen, ask questions to be sure you are clear about what your partner needs and why it is important, listen some more, and leave your ego at the door as much as you can. Even if your partner is not saying it in a way that you are happy about, try to put your compassion for your partner ahead of your offended ego. When your partner is communicating an ultimatum to you, your partner is in fact acting like your best friend. Your partner is giving you a full chance to take control of a situation by bringing his or her discontentment to your attention. This is actually much better than a partner deciding not to confront you, and potentially doing something behind your back out of emotional vengeance, or simply surprising you with a break up, without ever giving your relationship a chance. That is why you have to be grateful for the ultimatum, even if you despise what you may be hearing. Now, what if you and your partner have reached an impasse? What if the ultimatum is about something that you either are not sure is a good idea to agree too, or if it is something that is completely against your value system. For example, your partner cannot abide any longer having your aging and ill health parent live in the same house as your family, but you do not want to relocate your parent to a special care senior’s residence. What do you do then, when your values have reached a crisis point of incompatibility? In situations like this, it is often a good idea to seek out the help of a professional who can offer an objective point of view and can assess if anyone is being unreasonable. Frank Kermit
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Cursed or Bad Choices by Frank Kermit Sometimes I have clients who ask me if I think they may be cursed. Bad incident, after bad incident, after bad incident can make a person feel that life is against him or her. I do want to state that some people just have rotten luck, and bad luck can play a factor in a person’s life once in a while. However, if you ever wonder why all the bad things seem to always happen to you, then perhaps you need to consider taking some accountability for the choices you made along the way that brought you to this moment. You are where you are because of a series of choices you made. Financially broke? You made choices to end up there. Heartbroken? You made choices to end up there. Unhealthy? You made choices that end up there. For the record, I am guilty of this as well. I am not pointing fingers. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life that got me to where I am, and I am by no means perfect. We ALL make some bad choices. The key is to see if we can learn from the bad choices we made, by first identifying those choices and then making better choices. Many years ago I got my heart stomped on over and over. I made choices to give people a chance when there were signs that I should not have. I made choices to ignore the warning signs. I made choices to assume facts, instead of finding out the true facts. I made choices to act on my feelings in the moment and accept poor behaviour of others because it hurt too much to pick myself up and move on. Then one day, I made the choice of saying, “Never Again!” And from that moment on, I started to make different choices. Some were still the wrong choice. Other choices were good choices, but not great choices, until I learned through life experience how to make the best choices for myself. I could not be sure I was on the best path, but at least I made it a point to never again re-make the original choices that put me into the situation I ended up in. To read all about the choices and changes I made, grab a copy of my autobiography From Loser To Seducer Redemption is when you can trust yourself not to make the same mistakes again. At that moment of redemption, self-forgiveness is automatic and inner peace is the result. So the next time you are asking yourself why bad things keep happening to you, please consider that you might not be cursed, but you do need to re-evaluate the choices you are making (or not making) to put you in a better place. Frank Kermit
#cursed #cursedboy #cursedbythedevil #cursedmetabolism #cursedlegacy #cursedseal #cursedgirl #cursedlife #choice #ChoiceisHERE #choices #choiceislife #choicefitness #ChoiceDramaMovie #ChoiceCreates #choicesinlife #change #changementdedecor #changedourlife #changethefrequency #ChangeIsHealthy #changeme #ChangeTheWayYouFeel #changehappenswhenyoumakeithappen #changeMENTOR #changerevolution #changeyourmlndset #changescoming #changerseshabitudes #changetheplan #changetheworldeveryday #changesareafoot #changeoneself #changedworld |
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