The Paradites (pronounced PARA-dytes) was a comedy puppet TV series that Frank Kermit produced for local college TV in 1994-95. #tbt #throwback #tb #back #memories #instatb #reminisce #reminiscing #backintheday #instamoment #instagood #throwbackthursdayy #throwbackthursday #instamemory #miss #old #franktalks #frank kermit @emotionalneeds The Paradites -More of These Jokes Suck |
EN1) Protected her reputation? Her rep would be hurt by associating with "pirate Han". If you're a true princess and the leader of the rebellion, why would you hang out with a pirate who won't throw his lot in with your men, the very men she was trying to lead into battle? Why would she choose "pirate Han" when there are so many other courageous men around her of higher status... dying every day? "Many Bathins have given their lives for this information." |
Yeah, people talk. That would have been a morale booster! Let's see, sleep with "pirate Han" and risk losing the war to the Empire? There's more to reputation than just what her girl friends would think of her.
No, it was only after "pirate Han" became "General Solo" that the Princess could completely give herself to him.
EN2) Provided her with a range of emotions Yes, for the obvious bickering they do, but more importantly because he constantly wavered as to whether or not he'd stick around to help the rebellion. He's in, he's out, he's in, he's out... at least as far as the first two movies are concerned. |
EN3) Cater to the little girl in her
No hugs from "pirate Han" when her planet was destroyed in the first movie. No sympathy from "pirate Han" for the impending Death Star attack on the rebel base. Not until halfway through 2nd movie do we see anything close to an act by "pirate Han" that would cater to her little girl (when she hurts her hand turning a wrench and he massages it). "General Solo" tries to comfort her in the Ewok village, but she pushes him away... so we never really see a good example of him catering to her in that way.
EN4) Assertiveness "Pirate Han" meets this need of hers rather well. "I'm a scoundrel" - I'm a pilot/pirate with questionable morals, if we do the dead, if you fall in love with me, it is not your fault. "General Solo" sort of chumps out at the end of the last movie, when he says he'll step aside so she can be with Luke... luckily for "General Solo", Luke was her brother. Good thing Han didn't say to Leia, "I won't get in the way of you and Frank." |
EN5) Fear of Abandonment Her fear of abandonment issues are extremely high because her entire planet has been destroyed, her adoptive parents are dead, her biological mother is dead, she is estranged from her dead-beat biological father who destroyed her bio-mom's will to live (yes, like Luke, she has the force; so we must assume that at some level she knows these things), and the death of the all the men who fight for her cause. |
Sure, going out into the blizzard for Luke somewhat addresses this need in her. But right after he's back, he's once again talking about leaving to go pay off Jabba. Yes, he wants her to admit that she loves him. But instead of saying "Yes, I want you to stay for me!", she instead calls him a "Scruffy Nerf Herder". Possibly what is irritating her here is that he is not committed to her cause. That she is testing him. Is "pirate Han" only there because he wants to bump uglies with her? Will he leave her if the Empire turns up the heat too high? Maybe it's not even that simple at that point... maybe she just can't handle his death, so she withholds her love, because if he dies it will hurt less.
EN6) Trust Him to be Honest "Pirate Han" is blatantly honest with her, and is hardly ever afraid to tell her how he sees things. "General Solo" seems to be as well. Though in the third movie it seems more like "General Solo" is trying to control her behavior, the exact opposite of what happened in the first two movies. |
EN7) Her physical protection and safety "Pirate Han" helps rescue her from the belly of the beast (see Joseph Campbell), he saves her brother from her estranged dead-beat biological father at the end of the first movie, he pushes her behind him when he takes a couple of blaster shots at her dead-beat father when at cloud city, and then he allows himself to be frozen in carbonite. |
The carbonite is probably the best expression of Frank's EN7, as Han can't take down the Empire himself, and in no way can he ever hope to defeat Vader on his own... but he TAKES THE HIT for her. One can argue that he had no choice, but... well... he ended up in the carbonite because he took responsibility for her safety when they left Hoth.
The passage is blocked. I'll get her out on the Falcon!
So he DID take the hit in order for her to escape. It is at this point, when he's being lowered in to the hole to be frozen, she says to him "I love you".
It could be argued that "pirate Han" leaves her with one last abandonment issue by saying "I know", instead of "I love you too". But this is where "pirate Han" dies. Wow, that's some dedication! In his final death act (ok, the script says he was frozen, but really guys, he died and was reborn like Jesus). This final act of his, the fact that he took the hit, proved that he would not abandon her. The war still needs to be won, but upon his rebirth, he will no longer be the pirate scoundrel who can't be relied upon. Instead, he will be "General Solo".
EN8) Handle Her Sexuality As the Star Wars movies aren't overtly sexual (except maybe for the metal bikini), it's almost impossible for us to know if he could handle her sexuality. We assume that because he's a space pirate and doesn't care much about morality... that he believes "in a blaster", that he's probably of the mindset that whatever she's into, he'd be alright with it. |
Lastly, as leader of the free galaxy and a princes (not to mention - being a petite, extremely hot woman in her 20s), most men probably see Leia as a Madonna figure, and suck up to her like no other woman in the galaxy. "Pirate Han" treats her like a man should, and thus she recognizes that he understands that the prim and proper princes is also a sexual being.
EN9) Prove you have Good Genes "Pirate Han" got an award for helping destroy the first Death Star, and died a frozen death toward the end of the second act of Empire Strikes Back. What a story to tell your girl friends. "My guy, he died for me! I feel so safe around him!" Girls, beware your friends! When thawed out at the beginning of Jedi, he was reborn as "General Solo." Having put in the work, he rose to the rank of General in the rebel forces. |
EN10) Prove he is not a closet homosexual We never see "pirate Han" with another woman, we only see him hanging out with a naked Wookie... who appears to be quite devoted to the pirate... what's the special relationship there? Also "pirate Han" was once part of the Imperial navy (you'd have to have read some of the books to know that)... and you know what people say about sailors. Leia needs more info here in order to know whether or not he's a closeted Wookie lover... |
In Conclusion
In short, scoundrel pirate Han (the one she can't handle) doesn't get Leia, but respectable General Solo does get the princess. Pirate Han constantly violates many of her ENs or has yet to prove to her he can address her ENs. General Solo has addressed all of her ENs (Ok, maybe not EN10, but come on guys. The movie was targeted at Kids... so we'll let that one slide) and he gets the Babe. Thus he is no longer really her opposite, but instead her equal.
So no, opposites did not attract in the case of Han and Leia.
Now there maybe more evidence within the books about Han addressing or not addressing her needs, but that takes us back to my original point... these people are fictional, and thus, only George Lucas knows for sure whether or not Leia had her ENs addressed properly. My guess is that he probably didn't have Frank's theories to guide him when he wrote the script.
However, it seems to me that Han made some sort of "hero" journey throughout the trilogy, even though General Solo seems a little more wimpy at the end of the third movie than Pirate Han did at the beginning of the first. After all when he finally tells her that he loves her, she says back to him, "I know." Geesh!
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Ignorance is NOT a form of Protection
Sex Education in Schools is a MUST
By Frank Kermit
The following represents my opinion on the topic of sex education in elementary and high schools in general.
A question that I get a lot from my clients when coaching is,
“Why don’t they teach about relationships in school?”
Many of my clients are in their 20s, 30s and even 40s, and struggle with basic fundamental principles about how to relate to other human beings through romantic intention relationships.
The reason I give them, is that if they were to teach relationship skills in the classroom, they would then also have to teach about S-E-X because sex is part of having relationships.
Unfortunately, the topic of sex education in schools pushes a lot of people’s buttons, such that the only thing most education systems and parents want taught is abstinence, if anything about sex is taught at all.
Teaching abstinence, when some of the students are already sexual active and or are constantly bombarded with sexual influences including media, images, pop entertainment, and email links to porn sites
does not prepare young adults to be able to cope with sex and relationships.
Why do we need relationship and sex education now, when we did not seemingly need it before?
Actually, we have always needed it.
It is just that society has now changed in ways that make relationship and sex education a “must have.”
Once upon a time there were social norms that dictated what each person was expected to do, and what roles people were brought up to perform based on their gender.
Social norms simply told people what they could and could not do, if they were too seek out careers, hunt, provide, tend to the children, manage the home life, and what was expected of everyone sexually, including when sex was to occur, with whom, and under what conditions it was considered righteous.
Today, those social norms have been removed.
People have CHOICE.
The power to choose: who they partner with, what gender to partner with, how many to partner with over the course of their lives, if they want to terminate a partnership, and if they even choose not to enter partnerships at all.
Nowadays, people even have a choice if they want to live as, or transform their bodies into, a gender opposite the one they were born into.
Concepts like “’til death do us part”, the natural expectation of producing children and gender roles have been affected by legal divorce, birth control and human rights.
Today’s singles and couples have unlimited choice as to how they can manage their relationships and sex lives, but as I teach it:
The Power of Choice: without the knowledgeable skills to know what to do with that power, can lead to a misery so great, it can sometimes be worse than living in a system of oppression that meets human beings basic needs.
There was a time when ignorance was considered a form a protection. Some elderly adults I have spoken too talk about when they where children how discussions on the topics of puberty and menstruation cycle were never mentioned; At least not until AFTER a young lady had her first period.
By then the poor girl had to be reassured she was experiencing a normal process, even though the young lady was traumatized by the site of her own blood without a previous explanation of why it was happening to her.
The question remains:
Who exactly was being protected?
1-The children kept ignorant of their own bodily processes?
2-Or was it the parents and authority figures that were perhaps too embarrassed, ashamed, or fearful of what having those kinds of “talks” would represent?
Pretending that sex does not exist, nor not teaching children what sex is, will not in any way protect them from the potential threat of sexual abuse or online predators.
It is not just children that need relationship and sex education.
Studies show that 10% of all newly diagnosed AIDS cases in the USA are in heterosexual women over the age of 50. Yes, they too are at as much risk of sexually transmitted infections as anyone else.
Ignorance about sex and relationships is not a form of protection.
In the opinion of this author, it never was. However, ignorance has always been proven to be a key element in what perpetrators seek to identify in their potential victims. There is nothing endearing in keeping our people, young and old, naive about sexuality.
In fact, you are potentially sentencing them into the clutches of those individuals that would happily take advantage of it, or have them engage with others who are just as ignorant.
When my coaching clients ask,
“Do you think that status of relationship and sex education will change?”
all I can say is,
“I hope so.”
Frank Kermit
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