The Scripts that Keep You Single
By Frank Kermit
In some people, there is a script. The script is the story they have concocted about how they will meet that special someone and fall in love. Some scripts are more detailed than others covering specific lines that need to be said, or a certain situation that needs to be acted out, to make the scene perfect.
Other scripts are a little more basic, drawing from archetype romantic story arcs, of candlelit dinners and moonlit walks. Whether the script is an elaborate five star production, or a simple outline of bullet points, there is one common element when I work with singles on their scripts.
That common element is that many of the scripts that singles are following, are in part, the reason those individuals still remain single.
One of the clearest examples of the script at work is when a single person contemplates new ways of meeting people. Each time a single person refutes a means to locate a potential life partner, because it doesn’t fit in with the way he or she imaged it occurring, they are deferring to the script that does not serve them.
This includes when singles reject means such as blind dates, online dating, match making, dating apps or dating a friend, because they are holding out to meet someone through serendipity and a fantasy fulfilling fairy tale; their make-believe script is actually killing their dreams of achieving a chart topping love story.
What tends to turn people away from new ways of meeting potential life partners isn’t the technology, the taboo stigmas, or the potential dangers of meeting strangers.
It is the fact that new ways of meeting people does not follow the scripts they have inside about the way it was SUPPOSE-TO-BE. This is an example of what is meant with the saying of “People Getting In Their Own Way”.
There are also those times when a person’s script (the story of how the rest of their lives plays out) is downright damaging. Such as the single mother who refuses to believe that any man could be sexually faithful.
Since she is already convinced that the story of her life is to continually be cheated on, chances are she will (likely unconsciously) enact certain choices of the men she dates to help make that script a reality.
Or the man whose scripts insists that no woman would ever marry him for any reasons other than his bank account, would likely live out that script by only focusing on materialistic women to date, and (likely unconsciously) ignore or be turned off by the women that would actually be able to fall in love with his character.
If you find yourself a struggling single, and are looking for ways to expand your horizons, then it is important to look at the synopsis of the script inside you and re-write the scripts that are working against you on the stage of life.
FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
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