You Do Not Have Time For Toxic People
By Frank Kermit
When I lecture, coach or regularly talk on the radio about Toxic people,
I am usually define Toxic people as lacking the capacity to reason, or people who have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you.
I often advise that the best way to deal with a toxic person is not to deal with that person at all.
However, sometimes a “toxic” person may not be typically toxic at all.
In fact the person could be a very caring friend of yours that simply is giving you bad advice or encouraging you in ways that are not in your best long-term interest.
Here are some examples
Even if the person pushes you in discouraging yourself from trying new things because that person just wants to protect your feelings in case those new things do not work out;
regardless of the intent, that person is holding you back and not doing you any real favours.
Maybe your best friend has your best interests at heart, or maybe your best friend is jealous of your date and doesn’t want to lose spending time with you.
Either way, if you have a chance at finding a decent partner to have a serious relationship, and a person in your life is pushing you to give it up before giving it a real chance, that person may be toxic for you.
The person could attempt to join you on your new outings that encourage your new sought out healthier lifestyle, but isn’t interested, and attempts to guilt you into going places you would rather stay away from, that person may be toxic for you.
There will be consequences such as some hurt feelings, and maybe a little resentment from the people that you put some distance with.
On the other hand,
the consequences might also include a newfound sense of adventure for life, new confidence in your ability to more forward, and even the best possible serious romantic relationship ever.
In the long term, it might be a pretty good trade.
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FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
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